Cars 3 Liveblog

[2:32 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: First thoughts: I see Pixar remembered that Cars isn't a Spy movie franchise
[2:34 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: Also, I see Lightning learned to shittalk
[2:36 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: man that is one Gamer Car
[2:36 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: All hard edges and LEDs
[2:37 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: "Part of the Next Generation"
[2:37 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: Cars Trek: The Next Generation
[2:39 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: "So real, racers never have to go outside"
[2:39 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: haha, funneh meme
[2:39 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: the joke is insulting your audience
[2:40 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: thanks Pixar
[2:43 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: haha lightning is too old and shitty to do well against the newer cars and he's angry about it
[2:44 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: Oh there's the bit from the trailer
[2:44 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: Lightning Fucking Dies
[2:45 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: he's blue now
[2:45 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: sad old man sitting in his garage watching movies
[2:46 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: It's trying to do parallels to Doc Hudson
[2:47 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: Sally: "How ya feeling?"
Lightning, in like the most depressed voice possible for a car: "Great. Really... really great"
[2:49 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: Hopefully the first 18 minutes don't set the tone for the next hour
[2:52 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: Okay, it's picking up. So Lightning is going to stop moaning about "deez damn kids and their vidya gaems" and instead try and train like them so he can do well
[2:54 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: I was worried this movie was just going to be an hour and a half of millennial bashing
[2:59 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: Lightning gets Vinyl Wrapped, fancy
[3:00 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: that simulator UI is from Cars 2 on the Wii.
[3:05 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: ...5 MPH
[3:05 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: At least try Lightning
[3:05 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: oh that's the fastest it's set(edited)
[3:06 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: haha the joke is she's treating him like he's already old and useless, but he's not old and useless am i rite fellow Gen Xers
[3:08 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: haha Lightning doesn't know how to play video game
[3:10 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: oh there's the A113 easter egg taking up most of the screen
[3:10 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: very subtle Pixar, at least try?
[3:30 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: don't be so rude Lightning, geez
[3:30 PM] Depressive Ogre Nightmare Man: You say Lightning and I just picture the one from FF13
[3:32 PM] The Smollest Drac: oh my god
[3:44 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: Lightning decides to get help from Baby Boomer racecars instead(edited)
[4:02 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: Lightning has a new crush I see
[4:09 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: or, a new student?
[4:16 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: Cars 3 is alright.
[4:17 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: It's not terrible, but it's not great.
[4:26 PM] 1A4 Blaze It: The second half has a real turnaround, but the millennial bashing in the first half is pretty bad.