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[`Dont buy a lotto ticket... Only fucking retired people win`,
`If you place 10 dollars a week under your mattress.. You will have 520 dollars this time next year`,
`Dont waste money on hookers.. Instead, Buy a gym membership and have sex for free`,
`If you need to buy a new car. Consider over insuring your current one and then staging an accident`,
`If you need to renovate your house, Consider burning it down first as its much easier to build what you want`,
`Money does NOT grow on trees... Unless you own a truffle farm. Then you are fucking loaded`,
`Vegemite on toast, It is cheap and will save you a lot of money on grocery bills`,
`If you are struggling for cash, Consider having a baby and making sure that baby becomes good at Golf or Tennis`,
`want your wallet to look fatter, Consider Enchanging all your 100 dollar notes for 10 dollar notes`,
`Running your own business can be expensive, Consider using a Commodore 64 instead of a fancy PC to save money`,
`Clothing is a massive expense. Consider turning your underwear inside out to double its usage before washing it.`,
`If you have friends staying, Consider showering together to save money AND power`,
`Lie on your Resume... It will ensure you get a high paying job`,
`Pretend you are homeless. all you need is a cardboard sign, an old dog from the pound and some gloves with the finger tips missing.`,
`Consider buying 4 ply toilet paper, But splitting the layers to stretch it 4 times further`,
`Dont go get your hair cut professionally, Instead, Have a friend cut it instead. You could save up to 500 per year`,
`Considering robbing a bank, You'll need three friends, 4 Ex president masks and a van`,
`If you live with females that are NOT related to you, Consider installing camera's and selling the content on the dark web for extra cash`,
`if you have annoying friends, Consider harvesting their organs for cash`,
`Prostitution could be a great secondary income`,
`Recycling can save you money and saves the planet. Try washing out a used condom to reuse later`,
`if your manhood is larger then normal, Consider porn as a career`,
`if you own one dog, May as well buy 2 and start a puppy farm which could net you a lot of cash`,
`Dont offer to get the bill..... EVER..... When the cheque comes, Go to the bathroom and take a shit. When you return it should be fixed`,
`Have a load of dishes in the dishwasher...... Place your cloths in there too. Clean everything at once saves money on power and expensive cleaning products`,
`Have a garden? Shit in it... And have your friends shit in it. Fertilizer is expensive`,
`dont subscribe to Netflix, Instread, Download everything ilegally`,
`If you eat out, After she orders appetisers, Tell the waiter... "That will be all"`,
`Get your hair cut at a beauty School, Its free and they are probably rather good looking`,
`Consider visiting your neighbour... When you get there ask them if you can jump on their WiFi.... Then, Get home and connect ALL your devices`,
`Knit with Dog hair..... Specially if you have followed the tip about owning a puppy farm`,
`Shave with peanut butter instead of shaving cream. Its smooth texture really will allow for a close shave`,
`Have a local bakery? Dumpster dive each night for the leftover breads and pastries. You could save a fortune`,
`Learn how to make meth.... Then sell it`,
`Instead of showering daily..... Shower Monthly. The water costs alone justify the stench`,
`buying flowers for your loved one? steal them from a cemetary instead. Guarenteed to be fresh`,
`Install a garden hose in the toilet.... Toilet paper is expensive, Hose that big arse down instead`,
`visit a department store each morning and get ready using their Testers. Youll be suprised what you can test`,
`Womens clothing is expensive, Have your wife dress in your underwear and go braless. It will save you a fortune`,
`Insurance fraud is not really illegal.... Its just frowned upon`,
`If you have sex with your wife, Consider filming it, You will be amazed what people pay money to see`,
`Need cash fast? Get life insurance, Then fake your own death`,
`Dont Tip..... even in America, Its not your fault the wages for hospitality are screwed`,
`Dont buy expensive sexual lubes, use vegetable oil instead`,
`condoms are great, but cost money, try strengthening your pull out game`,
`its cold outside, consider wearing socks on your hands and bang.... Free gloves`,
`if you own a hairy dog, collect all its fur and have your grandmother knit you a sweater from it`,
`if you live in America, Consider moving to Australia. With the current exchange rate, You will be 40% richer`,
`Never tip a hooker... If you have done the job right, She already recieved the "tip"`,
`Instead of making lunch each day, Go to the Grocery store and eat the free samples`,
`Instead of washing your clothes, Consider showering in them and washing them while you wash yourself`,
`to boost Instagram followers and become a paid "Influencer" Go on a really shit reality tv program like love Island or The Bachelor`,
`Marrage is expensive. Consider staying single`,]