What's even going on, I feel lost

[16:08:32] * Haiiro had noticed a flashy danmaku battle happening with her pretty OK eyesight, and decided to examine the situation closer. So, she...well, went up the main path, since, well, if she used the reason 'to worship the gods', she could probably get through! But by the time she got there, Masaaki was already walking down that same path.
[16:08:54] * Sanae_Kochiya is now known as Chen
[16:09:43] * Masaaki_Kagura weakly makes his way down the mountain, his clothes visibly tattered, and himself looking like he had just been through hell iteself, he made his way down the path, noticing a familiar mage, though he seemed to not be in the mood to speak, he gave a uick call out to the mage.
[16:09:52] <Masaaki_Kagura> Hello...Haiiro-san...
[16:11:21] <Haiiro> ...Huh. Well I can't say I wasn't expecting to see you here, but...you definitely seem mellow! And whatever was happening up there, you lost. ...What was even happening, up there?
[16:11:34] <Haiiro> I mean, I can guess the gist, but details would be nice.
[16:12:12] * Masaaki_Kagura let out a sigh and stopped, looking to Haiirno.
[16:12:32] * Nazrin ([email protected]) has joined #Youkai_Mountain
[16:13:39] <Masaaki_Kagura> If you must know, Haiiro-san..I had gone to apologize, to the Moriya Shrine residents, apparentlythe shrine maiden was...unknowing of...what happened to me, a badly executed way of wording it, and I was forced to parake in an unwanted battle.
[16:13:46] <Masaaki_Kagura> *Partake
[16:16:18] * Disconnected
[16:16:22] * Attempting to rejoin channel #Youkai_Mountain
[16:16:22] * Rejoined channel #Youkai_Mountain
[16:17:34] <Masaaki_Kagura> I am now just...making my way back down to Zero-san's home...going to just stay there, so I never harm anyone.
[16:17:41] <Haiiro> You'd think the shrine maiden would hear about this stuff. But...yeah, she's quick to jump to a fight.
[16:18:20] <Haiiro> But...no, something's brewing in my head, so humor me if I ask strange questions. How did you mess it up, exactly?
[16:19:22] <Masaaki_Kagura> She thinks I may have insulted her goddesses, I was merely telling her what had happened, in my own words.
[16:20:42] <Haiiro> What did you say, though? What did happen? I don't think I asked before...
[16:22:07] <Masaaki_Kagura> You mean about what led to my exile?
[16:24:01] * Masaaki_Kagura lets out a sigh
[16:24:21] <Masaaki_Kagura> Perhaps we should make our way down the mountain, while I inform you.
[16:24:45] <Haiiro> Yeah. I think I got like, a sentence, which was good enough at the time, but now I'm actually curious. Sounds like a plan.
[16:25:56] <Haiiro> Something just seems strange, so do pardon if I pry...
[16:26:18] * Masaaki_Kagura chuckles and then speaks up.
[16:29:00] <Masaaki_Kagura> Very well, I had gone to Yasaka-sama, for relationship advice, of all foolish things. She said that was not her problem to help with. I had continued my usual rourtine, until approached by my sensei, she had taken me over to Yasaka-sama to apologize. But...things got rather heated again and...Yasaka-sama had wanted me punished her way.
[16:30:04] <Masaaki_Kagura> Defending our pride, my sensei calmly told Yasaka-sama, that our kinf would handle it. Yasaka-sama took this as an insult to her pride, and spoke with Tenma-sama, our chief. I was punished by exile.
[16:31:48] <Masaaki_Kagura> For four seasons.
[16:35:16] <Haiiro> Hmmm....OK, why DO you want to live there? Aside from there being people here you know.
[16:37:06] <Masaaki_Kagura> Of course, I will loyally serve my kind, until the end, but, I have to endure this punishment.
[16:42:07] <Haiiro> ...And why, exactly, do you do that? I mean, your kind is, from what I can tell, strict as unholy heck, you're forced to bow down to two people, and failure to do that in some inane way means you get thrown out or executed.
[16:42:41] <Haiiro> No room for error, everything just seems...cold. Like politics.
[16:43:51] <Haiiro> ...Maybe it's just the people in charge, but considering most people don't get exiled, they're all OK with that.
[16:48:19] <Masaaki_Kagura> Well, I have a duty, to protect my kind, I do not want to lose anyone I am close to, I...have already lost my family...
[16:48:34] * Masaaki_Kagura looks away for the moment.
[16:49:11] <Haiiro> ...Tell me. Would you be happy here?
[16:53:04] * Konngara ([email protected]) has joined #Youkai_Mountain
[16:53:19] * Masaaki_Kagura ([email protected]) Quit (NickServ (GHOST command used by Konngara))
[16:53:31] * Konngara is now known as Masaaki_Kagura
[16:54:02] <Chen> ((Okay so this whole thing was caused by Masaaki's lust. Just stop this. Please just stop.))
[16:54:20] <Haiiro> ((Shut up.))
[16:54:26] <Chen> ((..))
[16:54:29] <Haiiro> ((No, seriously))
[16:54:30] * Chen ([email protected]) has left #Youkai_Mountain
[16:56:33] * Masaaki_Kagura thought about this for the moment, and then sighed.
[16:56:43] <Masaaki_Kagura> I...do not even know anymore.
[16:57:11] <Masaaki_Kagura> I have two others waiting for my return, my sensei, and another wolf tengu.
[16:57:25] <Haiiro> You know that there are people here you care about, and want to be with. You want to protect those people you care about. Am I wrong?
[16:57:42] * Masaaki_Kagura looks to Haiiro and nods
[16:58:09] <Masaaki_Kagura> I do care about and want to protect them.
[16:58:39] <Haiiro> ...But, are you willing to throw away all sense of self-worth and damn yourself to an unhappy life, something your parents probably wouldn't want, in order to do so?
[16:59:57] * Masaaki_Kagura then goes wide-eyed, that thought racing in his mind at the moment. He thought about it for some time, then spoke up.
[17:00:46] <Masaaki_Kagura> What exactly about my life, do you seem that makes it unhappy?
[17:03:52] <Haiiro> How about the fact that you were thrown out for a year over a minor grievance? And to end up getting thrashed by the shrine maiden when you came to apologize, the fact that you came to Kanako for relationship advice in the first place...not to mention I keep asking about why you want to be here, and you keep on replying 'sense of duty'. Feeling like you have to do something isn't usually a nice feeling, unless it has really nice perks. Perks I can't see, perks that might not even be there.
[17:05:31] <Masaaki_Kagura> ...Well...what do you suppose I do?
[17:05:52] <Haiiro> Well, there's two things I can see happening, maybe.
[17:06:51] * Masaaki_Kagura looks to Haiiro, ready to listen to her.
[17:06:59] <Masaaki_Kagura> They are?
[17:08:02] <Haiiro> One, just extend your exile to 'forever'. It comes with complications, yes, but the world is a big place, and you don't need to be trapped in an 'eh' part of it. Two, look into not being a hired dog. Be able to live there without being chained to all these rules, regulations, and politics. That, I'm not so sure about, because it might not even be possible.
[17:09:00] <Haiiro> The strange thing about both of these is that they make you less like a tengu. But frankly, the life of a tengu is not a nice life, and you don't have to live it.
[17:09:50] <Masaaki_Kagura> ...Would I be able to meet others  as much as I want?
[17:11:04] <Haiiro> One has to keep the others in mind, lest you accidentally get drunk in the house of a potentially deadly youkai and get wiped off the face of the earth, but once you get off those chains, no one's stopping you!
[17:11:34] <Haiiro> The life of a tengu is safe, I will admit, but safe is hardly the best option.
[17:11:49] <Haiiro> If you, you know, wanna live. An actual life.
[17:12:03] <Masaaki_Kagura> ...Then...the next time I see my sensei, I will pass on a note to her.
[17:12:25] <Masaaki_Kagura> I will permanantly retire and sentence myself to permanent exil.
[17:12:28] <Masaaki_Kagura> *eile
[17:12:33] <Masaaki_Kagura> *exile
[17:14:09] <Haiiro> If she truly did care for you, and you write a long enough note, she'll understand. At least, I hope so.
[17:14:47] <Haiiro> And if politics get out of control, and suddenly there's tengu coming for your life or something insane like that, well, I've got a house. It's more defended than you think!
[17:17:14] * Masaaki_Kagura closed his eyes and chuckled
[17:17:14] <Masaaki_Kagura> Well, I thank you for offering me shelter.
[17:17:41] <Haiiro> Anytime~
[17:18:10] <Masaaki_Kagura> Why would you go so far, to help someone such as myself? It is rather surprising.
[17:19:03] <Haiiro> ...Your story, it is faintly like my own. There are differences, great ones, but similarities as well.
[17:19:10] <Haiiro> That, and I'm nosy, and like to talk.
[17:19:13] * Haiiro shrugs!
[17:19:34] <Nazrin> (( darn you ))
[17:19:44] * Masaaki_Kagura laughs a bit, the firat time he had done so in a while.
[17:19:49] <Haiiro> Shall we be off~?
[17:20:34] <Masaaki_Kagura> Very well, oh, would you mind if I went to an acquaintance's house, and gathered some things?
[17:23:37] <Haiiro> Not at all! If you want to stay at my house for the time being, that's fine, but I'll be heading straight there, myself. Might as well add on to the defenses, just in case!
[17:24:45] <Masaaki_Kagura> Very well, I shall see you at your home then. For going out of the way to do something like this, you are a rather interesting magician.
[17:26:46] <Haiiro> It wouldn't be right if I wasn't, right? Do make the most of your freedom, like I do my own~
[17:27:47] <Masaaki_Kagura> Then we shall celebrate the freedome we shall have, later on. Do take care of yourself.
[17:28:07] <Haiiro> Of course, of course~
[17:28:40] * Masaaki_Kagura nods and then makes his way down the mountain, he was still slightly damaged a bit, but that didn't stop him.
[17:29:17] * Haiiro hurries along, out of that place! Maybe she just made a few enemies. That should be fun! No, seriously, it should be fun. It's normally quiet, after all.
[17:30:20] <Haiiro> ((I, for one, would call that a good RP!))
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[17:32:05] * Rinnosuke_Morichika ([email protected]) has left #Youkai_Mountain ("http://quassel-irc.org - Chat comfortably. Anywhere.")
[17:32:27] * Masaaki_Kagura ([email protected]) Quit (NickServ (GHOST command used by Rinnosuke_Morichika))
[17:46:08] * Disconnected

----
INTERMISSION

[01:13:35] <Masaaki_Kagura> Haiiro, I am going to have to ask to redact that meeting with Haiiro Masaaki had, Sakuya had a reason for the exile.
[01:14:24] <Haiiro> OK, lemme just roll my eyes for a second
[01:15:08] <Haiiro> too busy for anything but a summary but clearly not in a hurry at all to tell you why it's not a good idea
[01:15:09] <Haiiro> mutter
[01:15:25] <Masaaki_Kagura> Well Sakuya thinks it is, talk with her.
[01:15:38] <Haiiro> But...do you actually have that reason
[01:15:44] <Haiiro> Cause I wanna hear it V:
[01:17:35] <Masaaki_Kagura> [22:04:10] <Sakuya_Izayoi> here's a hint. Tenma wants you to lean a very specific kind of respect. She wants Masaaki to learn humility or at least how to fake it.
[01:17:35] <Masaaki_Kagura> [22:06:04] <Masaaki_Kagura> I see.
[01:17:35] <Masaaki_Kagura> [22:06:23] <Sakuya_Izayoi> she wants masaaki to learn when he needs to grit his teeth and keep his head down. Even if he doesn't like it.
[01:18:09] <Haiiro> And Haiiro, as a character, thinks that's bull
[01:18:25] <Haiiro> And apparently Masaaki agreed!
[01:19:25] <Haiiro> There is nothing to discuss or retcon, sometimes things don't go as planned
[01:19:56] <Masaaki_Kagura> Well now I am confused and I don't know what to do. I'm a mess.
[01:20:09] <Masaaki_Kagura> So...you're not gonna talk with Sakuya?
[01:20:27] <Haiiro> She's clearly in too much of a hurry to talk at the moment
[01:20:28] <Haiiro> So no
[01:20:40] <Haiiro> I'll just wait until a day she seems less...hurried
[01:21:03] <Masaaki_Kagura> So...I guess I am just going to have to remain conflicted, lovely.
[01:21:04] <Haiiro> That and there's really nothing to discuss or retcon cause retconning things based on that just plain sounds dumb :V
[01:21:22] <Haiiro> Don't do what others tell you because they tell you to do them
[01:21:30] <Haiiro> Do what YOU believe
[01:22:10] <Haiiro> Or rather, play your character
[01:22:25] <Haiiro> and don't take back things in an OOC way because someone told you to do something OOC
[01:23:03] <Haiiro> And if she suddenly has time to debate this, perhaps she should lemme know :V
[01:28:06] <Haiiro> And that lack of response is becase you think I didn't answer the 'remain conflicted' thing, well, I totally did, in case I was too subtle there
[01:29:13] <Masaaki_Kagura> Well aren't you technically telling me what to do, too?
[01:30:03] <Haiiro> Technically, I suppose
[01:31:11] <Haiiro> But while our meido here is saying 'DO THIS' in OOC, this Haiiro here told you 'DO THIS, WHY WOULDN'T YOU' in IC and I'm pretty sure that everything that happened there was quite very IC
[01:31:54] <Haiiro> And the way Haiiro did it, I'm pretty sure it wasn't even her telling you to DO THIS but rather 'this is why you seem to be in a rut, and this is how you can get out of it'
[01:32:04] <Haiiro> All of that is currently opposing 'do this'
[01:36:02] <Masaaki_Kagura> Well aside from this, do you feel like having RP at #Mansion_of_Haiiro?
[01:36:57] <Haiiro> It's hard to pull that 'aside from this'
[01:37:02] <Haiiro> Retconning is serious business
[01:37:06] <Haiiro> (and dumb)
[01:37:10] <Haiiro> (opinions!)
[01:37:32] <Masaaki_Kagura> Well Masaaki is still thinking things through at your mansion.
[01:37:46] <Masaaki_Kagura> I have decided not to retcon what happened.
[01:38:07] <Haiiro> OK, with that out of the way
[01:38:15] <Haiiro> It's 1:38 AM, so fair warning
[01:38:24] <Haiiro> But sure~
----
PART 2
[01:38:19] * Now talking in #Mansion_of_Haiiro
[01:39:29] * Masaaki_Kagura ([email protected]) has joined #Mansion_of_Haiiro
[01:40:55] * Masaaki_Kagura had finished setting up his room within the mansion.
[01:41:20] <Masaaki_Kagura> Perhaps...this is for the best....
[01:42:00] * Masaaki_Kagura he had a seat on his nearby bed, looking down slightly.
[01:43:53] * @Haiiro is most certainly home right now! She's touching up books on various bookcases, ones likely enchanted with some magic or other. Probably the defenses she was talking about. She hums an upbeat melody, despite practically arming her house for a potential war.
[01:44:20] <Masaaki_Kagura> This is...going against her order...
[01:47:54] <@Haiiro> ...The order of who, now?
[01:48:07] * Masaaki_Kagura thinks for the time being, deciding to repack his stuff within his satchel, just in case.
[01:50:28] * Masaaki_Kagura goes wide-eyed at the sudden voice, turning to look at Haiiro.
[01:50:28] * Masaaki_Kagura let out a sigh, setting his stuff aside for the moment, sitting on the nearby bed.
[01:50:42] <Masaaki_Kagura> This...was a direct rder... from Tenma-sana, Haiiro-san, she will know that I am going against her.
[01:52:04] <Masaaki_Kagura> I have to rethink sending my note.
[01:52:22] <Masaaki_Kagura> I...do not wish to be executed.
[01:52:54] <@Haiiro> ...Wait, you're not thinking about going BACK, are you?
[01:53:43] <Masaaki_Kagura> I...feel that I have to...I will die if I do not.
[01:54:23] <@Haiiro> ...Is that in a figurative or literal sense?
[01:54:46] <Masaaki_Kagura> Death is something I do not wish, and I have always stuck by my kind's side.
[01:56:43] <@Haiiro> ...Well of COURSE you've stuck by your kind's side, when you fear death is the alternative.
[01:57:23] * @Haiiro looks irritated! For one reason or another.
[01:57:28] <Masaaki_Kagura> Death IS the alternative!
[01:58:09] * Masaaki_Kagura holds his head, obviously conflicted.
[01:58:15] <@Haiiro> It's only the alternative if you're not wily enough to avoid it.
[01:58:42] <Masaaki_Kagura> This world is bordered off,there are not many ways I can avoid it.
[01:59:14] <@Haiiro> You might have to travel with loops, but there are easier ways.
[01:59:43] <Masaaki_Kagura> Besides, the last thing I would want, is the harm of a dear comrade.
[02:00:00] * Masaaki_Kagura looks to Haiiro with a serious look on his face.
[02:00:17] <@Haiiro> Then I suppose the best way to go about it is to prevent them from thinking coming after you is a good idea, right?
[02:01:17] <@Haiiro> The tengu, allied with the Moriyas...it's hard for them to do things because they're entrenched in their own politics.
[02:01:55] <@Haiiro> If you simply ally yourselves with a party they would think twice about attacking...
[02:02:19] <@Haiiro> ...Much like the loud one called Miko did, yes?
[02:02:31] <Masaaki_Kagura> What threat is a paty of two, to a party of many, many who I have come to call friends.
[02:03:29] <@Haiiro> Well, I'm not saying I'm the defending party here. You might want to find someone with more sway. I suppose I could buy you time, though...
[02:04:12] <@Haiiro> And you don't have to live or work with the ones you ally yourself with! ...and if you do anyway, well, it might be less of a bother.
[02:04:39] <Masaaki_Kagura> Why do you speak so ill of my kind, I have protected the all of my life.
[02:04:43] <Masaaki_Kagura> *them
[02:05:01] <Masaaki_Kagura> They are...the only family I have left.
[02:06:58] <@Haiiro> Your only family is practically sentencing you to live in a place that you don't seem to want to actually be in. And they want to keep you there. Forever.
[02:07:40] <Masaaki_Kagura> Perhaps...but...
[02:07:52] <@Haiiro> I apologize for speaking ill, but I still call them as I see them. To do anything less would be sugar-coating something that shouldn't be sugar-coated!
[02:08:50] <Masaaki_Kagura> Being confined....is better than dying as a treacherous wolf.
[02:09:31] * Masaaki_Kagura takes his satchel and starts to make his way out.
[02:10:04] <Masaaki_Kagura> I appreciate your offer, Haiiro-san, if the future calls for it, when I resign, I may take it up again.
[02:10:54] <@Haiiro> Wait, when you resign? Which are you doing, again?
[02:11:07] <@Haiiro> There's one direction or another, unless I missed something here.
[02:11:14] <Masaaki_Kagura> But...I understand now...Tenma-sama...wanted me to learn respect, even If I have to be chained as you said.
[02:11:25] <Masaaki_Kagura> I never exactly made a note, did I/
[02:11:27] <Masaaki_Kagura> *?
[02:12:10] <@Haiiro> ...What, exactly, is worthy of respect, here?
[02:12:34] <@Haiiro> I seriously cannot see it.
[02:12:34] <Masaaki_Kagura> Do you know anything of how prideful my kind is? How respectful we are?
[02:14:26] <@Haiiro> Perhaps most of your kind truly respects your leader and Kanako. But for a leader to execute a deserter for following his own path pretty much retracts any respect a thing should have.
[02:15:10] <@Haiiro> At the moment, I cannot see your leader as anything but a prison warden with some subtle tactics to keep the low-rankers in line.
[02:16:38] * Masaaki_Kagura looks to Haiiro, and chuckles
[02:16:38] <Masaaki_Kagura> Then it is time for this prisoner to continue his exile alone.
[02:17:32] <@Haiiro> If, at the end of this year, you actually go back, I'm not gonna forgive you, you know!
[02:17:33] <Masaaki_Kagura> '/me then begins to make his way to the entrance of the mansion.
[02:17:33] * Masaaki_Kagura then begins to make his way to the entrance of the mansion.
[02:18:05] <@Haiiro> Or earlier. If you do it earlier I'm probably gonna be livid.
[02:18:22] <Masaaki_Kagura> I cannot risk such a respectable woman's safety, and if I become your enemy within the year's end, I cannot make friends out of everyone.
[02:19:53] <@Haiiro> Living safe is boring. If I were to end up warring with tengu a bit, I think I'd feel more alive. Do the opposite of worrying for my safety. And if you become my enemy...well, lemme just make this clear.
[02:20:24] <@Haiiro> To be my enemy is to subscribe to that notion that your entire species takes responsibility for this sort of thing.
[02:21:27] * Masaaki_Kagura looks to Haiiro, and silently nods.
[02:21:44] <@Haiiro> And while I think that's really, really dumb, much like most of the things you seem to have drilled in your head at a young age, I will respect that and tell the world the tale of a tengu that came back because he was afraid to die by their own hand.
[02:21:53] <@Haiiro> We're clear, right?
[02:22:16] <@Haiiro> That sounds like a tale for the newspaper. Too bad the tengu do most of them.
[02:22:45] <@Haiiro> ...I suppose in the end, my safety would be risked anyway! Oh well. Still gonna be fun.
[02:22:56] * Masaaki_Kagura chuckles
[02:23:10] <Masaaki_Kagura> I look forward to the day if your plans of war do succeed.
[02:23:27] <@Haiiro> Count on it! ...Or better yet, don't, and wake up.
[02:23:40] <@Haiiro> See ya later, one way or another~
[02:23:50] * @Haiiro 's mood lightened! For one reason or another.
[02:24:45] * Masaaki_Kagura smirks and makes his way out of the mansion, off into the nearby wilderness to sleep