Nihil Angel

The servomotors chirred, coming back to life after decades of rusting.
The movements were uncoordinated and clumsy.
Nothing but a pitch black, almost like a liquid surrounding her.

Monika felt cold all over her body.
Not the body that she knew, not the supple and slim body of a teenager girl.

But simple a cold and exact piece of hardware, machined for survival in the deeps of space.
Little of her humanity remained, her eyes still organic with a now dull green, the hair that she tied before in a ponytail because of a sense of narcissism at how beautiful it looked was still in the same shape, now by a mere utilitarian purpose.

The past.
She thought, can you really call something like that the past?
How much time did actually happen?
How many loops? How many lives did she took?

She almost never thought on the word remorse.
But now a tide of emotions and sensations flowed in her entire body.

Regret.
Yes, that is exactly the word that will describe what she was feeling now.

The regret of not being able to save anyone, not even herself.
But what was to be done? The game was rigged from the start. What was supposed to be a safe and dreamlike place for her and the other Members of the Unit was turned into hell.

In part by her actions, there is not denying that.

Maybe the others are still like her, alive somewhere in the complex.
Maybe they could get together and fight what they did this to them.
Maybe they will just want to kill her.

“Doesn’t matter” – Monika thought
“This is my redemption”

Monika pulled the door apart, her arm warmed up almost thankful of being working again.
The dim light blinded her.
The light of the stars entered her little cell, the little coffin where she was stuck playing president for so long.
Her body moving toward the light, a dull metallic red shining off her body.
The paint peeling away, falling like feathers.
Leaving a trail that she will never walk back again.