Post Modern Hero Bullshit

>Be Anon
>Just got transported to Equestria.
>After the ponies realised you weren't a threat they began to warm up to you.
>You were gifted a house in Ponyville by Princess Celestia.
>The Elements of Harmony were friendly to you.
>Though one thing you couldn't stand was the fact that they all treated you like some frail child because of how skinny you were.
>Currently they were all at your house talking to you.
>"So what is it you used to do on your world Anon?"
>Realising this is your time to make their impressions of you do a 180 you decide to lie through your teeth to answer Twilight's question.
"I was a soldier."
>The look of shock on their faces was priceless.
>"Wait, YOU were a soldier Anon?" Rainbow Dash repeated.
>Eat it Rainbow cunt.
>"So just what kind of... soldering did you do Darling?"
"I was a special agent trained to take out domestic or foreign terrorists."
>They understood well what 'take out' means.
>"So you...killed bad humans?" Applejack asked skeptically.
"Yeah basically."
>"What did they do that was so bad?"
"They threatened the world with nuclear armageddon."
>They didn't know what nuclear meant, but they sure as shit knew what armageddon meant.
>"Wow Anon you're a hero!"
>You shook your head. You're gonna have to be a ruse grandmaster if you want to keep this going.
"I'm no hero, never was never will be."
>"I know what you did must have been hard Anon, but I just know that the other humans will remember the right part about what you did. You deserve to be a legendary hero."
"Legends are usually bad news. There's not a lot of difference between heros and madmen."
>They just believe you're being modest.
>The rusing continues.
>Soon enough they tell Princess Celestia about your fake exploits.
>She decides to commemorate your services in the human world.
>Theyboughtit.jpg
>Tfw all you did was quote post modern hero bullshit from Metal Gear Solid.
>Ponies are easy to fool.