Twi-Swap: R9K/Sperg Crossover

>What an odd dream...
>Your eyes flutter open and you sit up in your bed
"Fuck!"
>It feels like you just woke up from a beating
>You hop out of bed and—
"Wait, what the..."
>This isn't your room...
>You start hyperventilating
>THIS ISN'T YOUR ROOM
>W-What happened?!
>Did Discord drug you or something?
>Did you get super high with Treehugger?
>You start tugging at your pajamas, which you've never seen before
>Why did you have two shirts on?
>And WHY was one of them a fucking capeshit shirt?
>Pulling up your clothes, you see that there's slight bruising on your body, though it looks a few days old...
>What?
>Maybe you had a crazy night you couldn't remember, MAYBE, but DAYS?!
>You look around the room, and things just continue to make less and less sense
>There was a... Death Star made of LEGO on a desk
>Some sort of... Big machine-thing
>Bookshelf filled with actual books, mostly, unlike your manga-focused shit
>It also doesn't smell like stale Pop-Tarts in here, and it isn't locked down in perpetual dark...
>A phone buzzes, and you pick it up
>It's not yours, but... You couldn't mistake this text for anyone else
>"[eghd we stl on 4 l8r?]"
"[When's "later"? I don't remember setting anything up.]"
>"[lolwut we jus tlkd bout it dud il cm soon k me n sunset r gona get u gota shw me how to mke 1 of thse SICK lego dth strs sumday eghd :) ]"
>Sunset?
>And show her what?
>What the fuck was going on?
"[Okay...]"
>"[sick c u soon]"
>You put the phone down and crept to the bedroom door
>There was something in the air... The smell of pancakes...
>You open the door into a hallway
>Man, this place was nice
>Heading towards the smell, you happen upon the kitchen and...
>"Twilight! Just in time, though, I didn't hear you using the shower. Breaking routine?"
"M-Mom?"

>What an odd dream...
>Your eyes flutter open and you sit up in your bed

>The left side of your body is engulfed in warmth, and you notice that Spike is sleeping next to you, but...
>There's no way he could've gained this much weight in one night
>It was hard to see in the dark—your room smelled of stale Pop-Tarts and faintly of urine, and an open desktop monitor was the only source of light
>That's not where your desk was...
>Looking down at your body, you realize you're not wearing your usual pajamas
>In fact, you went to sleep in your clothes
>In fact, you went to sleep in clothes that weren't your clothes
>In fact, you went to sleep in clothes that weren't your clothes that didn't cover up the cut marks on your arms that you didn't have
>It was at this point that you began to freak out
>Not only did you fail to follow your nightly routine last night—somehow—but you've also woken up in someone else's room
>Spike was here, out of shape as heck...
>Maybe... Maybe you went to some crazy party?
>Maybe this was one of the girls' bedrooms?
>That didn't sound like you...
>Oh, what if this was Sugar Coat's doing?
>But how would she get rid of your cut marks, and why?
>Can money do that?
>You shuffle out of your bed, feeling listless and in low energy, like you suddenly started eating like shit constantly for a few years
>And your breasts got slightly smaller...
>What the hell was going on?
>Nothing... Nothing was making sense!
>You rubbed at your eye
>No scar
>Just... Maybe this is a dream
>That's your only explanation
>This bedroom—whoever's it is—is pretty small and cluttered
>Being in here is going to trigger your OCD...
>You head out the door, thinking that you might be able to make more sense of things
>Get out of here and find your house, or wake up
>Heading downstairs, you find your father sitting at a table, drinking coffee
"D-Dad? W-What are you doing here?"
>"Twilight? You're up early."
"W-Where are we?"

>Your mother eyes you with concern, then smiles and approaches you for a hug
>Instead of accepting, you flinch and push her away
>"Twilight?"
"W-Why... Why are you here?!"
>"Why am I here? Twilight, what's wrong?"
>This doesn't make any sense
>Why was your Mom here?
>And why was she... Being NICE to you?!
>And... Why were you in a nice kitchen?
>This place looked like an actual house...
"Mom... H-How... How did I get here? I went to sleep in my bed, and now... How did I get here?!"
>You grip at your head
>"I... I assume you woke up in your bed and came downstairs?"
"Then why are YOU here?!"
>Your mother tries to reach out for you, but you flinch once more
>"Is... Oh, I know I usually go to work today, but I was able to get this day off for your brother's game. Is that what's getting you worked up?"
"Why would... Why would THAT be what's working me up? What? D-Did you come back into my life to just, fuck, what's even happening!"
>Twilight Velvet moves for you again, pulling you into a hug despite your protests
>"Twilight, it's okay... I-I'm sorry if breaking routine made you so angry... I... Did your therapist and your father put you on something without telling me? Is that what's wrong?"
>Therapist?!
"Why would I go to a therapist?! And why would I care about 'breaking routine'?! What do you think I am? AUTISTIC?!"
>"But... Twilight, you've been going to Dr. Placebo for your Asperger's... Is there medication I don't know about? Please, Twilight, you have to tell me what's going on."
>What
>WHAT?!
"I... No, th-that's not true... I'm not autistic... Th-This isn't my house! Y-You're not my mom!"
>"Did you want to talk about the evolution of literary didacticism in Britain's Early Modern Period? Would that make you feel better?"
"HOW WOULD..."
>You give up and slump against your mother
>You... You don't remember a therapist, or any medication, or this house, or this life...
>What... Was everything just a dream?
>Was it all some autistic fantasy?!

>Concern floods your father's weary face, far more wrinkled and disheveled than you've ever seen it before
>"We're... We're at home, Twilight."
"Home? But... Where's Mom? Where's Shining? This isn't our house."
>He's shaking now
>"Oh Twilight... Did... Did you do drugs with that Treehugger girl again? You have to stop, Twilight!"
>Drugs?
>With Shining's ex?
>Your father wasn't making any sense!
"Dad, I'm not doing drugs. I—"
>"Twilight, you REEK of drugs. You can lie to me, but... If you're lying to yourself... Twi, you're my little girl, and... I just can't see you like this."
>You take a breath, and immediately begin hacking as a thick, smoky odor fills your lungs
>W-What the...
"But... I don't do drugs! I'd never do drugs! W-Where's Mom?"
>"Twilight, are you so out of it that you don't remember?"
>Your heart sinks
>What is happening?
>Oh God please let this be a dream
"Just tell me where Mom is," you say with a wavering voice
>"Twilight... She left. When you were just a kid."
>If it wasn't for the fact that your father was telling you this, and with such a solemn tone, you'd never even consider it
>But what he said terrified you
"Th-That's not true... Y-You're an engineer. Mom's a college professor. This isn't our house..."
>"Twilight, you have to stop doing drugs..."
"BUT I DON'T DO DRUGS!"
>Your father looks at you for a moment, and you expect him to move to you for an embrace
>Instead, he shrugs and his eyes drift from yours
"D-Dad?"
>He sighs and begins to drink his coffee once more
>You stumble backwards a few steps
>This was all wrong
>This must be some sort of weird Twilight Zone thing
>A horrible dream, a nightmare
>Something goes off in your pocket
>Your phone... Not your phone, but you guess it couldn't be anyone else's
>"[Fluttershy's coming to pick you up :^) ]"
>Fluttershy!
>She's always been nice, so you know that you can tell her about what's been going on
"[Great!]"
>Keep calm
>Don't freak out
>Just be cool, Twilight

>"Do you remember now?" your mother asks, after having given you a rundown of 'your' life
>The answer was a definite NO
>None of this made sense to you
>Crystal Prep?
>Sure, maybe you were smart enough to get in, but your work ethic was utter shit
>No way you could get a scholarship
>And you'd fucking remember if you had LITERAL autism
>But you don't want to make this weird shit anymore awkward than it needs to be
"I think I remember... Sorry, I just... I don't know what happened. Of course I remember."
>Your mother smiles warmly at you, teary eyed over thinking her daughter had just lost her marbles, and embraces you
>It takes everything you have not to squirm from her grip
>This was going to take some getting used to
>"You should go take a shower and get ready. You said your friends were coming to pick you up in, oh, about a half hour from now, right?"
"Y-Yeah."
>You smile artificially and head back upstairs
>There HAD to be an explanation for this...
>Maybe you were just SUPER high and at Treehugger's right now
>And this was some sort of 'showing you all your deepest desires' metaphorical trip where your mom doesn't scoff every time she looks at your face
>And you had money
>But then why the autism?
>Whatever... Just get dressed and play along with the trip, Twilight
>You open up doors until you find the bathroom
>Fuck this place was so much nicer than your real house
>Closing the door behind you, you take a look at yourself in the mirror
>The heavy bags under your eyes are gone, though you had a scar above one eye
>Made you look badass
>There was a somewhat feminine curve to you now, which was great, and...
>Holy SHIT
>How did you not notice that you had actual (small) breasts?
>Is that how it works?
>Autism = Hot body?
>Works like that for Trixie
>You might be in for a long shower...
>Ripping your clothes off giddily, you prepare for some imaginary masturbation
>That's when you see the numerous cut marks all along both of your arms
"What the fuck..."

>A car pulls up outside
>Must be Fluttershy!
"Bye Dad!"
>Your father frowns
>"Just be safe, Twilight..."
>Jesus, what happened to your father?!
>He's so... Depressing
>That's nothing like him
>This really must be a dream
>It couldn't be that your life was just some drug-induced hallucination, could it?
>No, that was crazy
>Walking outside the house, you wave to Fluttershy, who you can see in the driver's side of a large Pizza N Play van
>Did she work at a Pizza N Play?
>You didn't know that
>And she seems to be glowering pretty hard
>You weren't the greatest with body language, but even YOU could tell Fluttershy wasn't happy
>Hopping into the passenger's seat, you give her a beaming smile
"Hey, Fluttershy!"
>The yellow girl turns towards you slowly, wearing a chilling stare
>"'Hey, Fluttershy'?"
"D-Did I say something wrong? You look mad..."
>Putting the car in reverse, Fluttershy grunts
>"Don't fuck with me, Twilight," she says as she begins to drive off to your destination
"W-What?"
>This...
>This was nothing like Fluttershy!
>Sure, you didn't know her very well, but this was so out of character!
"Fluttershy, if something is wrong... I know I have Asperger's, and it makes it hard for me to connect with people, but I want to be there for you if you need a friend!"
>"Twilight, do you really want to be fucking with me right now?"
"Fuck with you? But I'm not into girls!"
>"W-What?!"
>Fluttershy grips the steering wheel, turning her knuckles white
>"Can you keep the 'clever' shit to yourself for once? Why does he make me drive you around like I'm some fucking chauffeur? If Discord knew how you really were, he'd let me carve you up like a pig."
"I-Is... Is that a simile that means something less mean than it sounds?"
>"NO! SHUT UP, NO! OH MY GOD! SHUT UP!"
>At this point, she begins screaming for what seems to be a good ten seconds
>Fluttershy seems really mad, and you're screwing up talking to her
>Might as well 'shut up'
>And who's this 'Discord' person?

>You run your finger along the rigid scar tissue
>Jesus, this is a lot of cutting...
>This...
>This COULDN'T be real
>You knew that now
>There's no way you'd ever be this edgy
>Cutting your wrists and shit?
>Literally Reddit: Self-harming
>It felt so real, though...
>And your mom told you about your therapist...
>And all the pictures seemed so real...
>This all seems so real...
>But if it was real, then that would mean your actual life was a lie
>Which, actually, would be sort-of fine with you
>If this was a trip, then it meant that you'd be having an amazing, sex-filled, wacky romp
>If it was real, hey... You fucked up your 'real life' to the point where a reset might be good
>It would mean that all those lives you'd ruined had never been ruined
>Dealing with autism was a fine enough trade-off
>And you certainly didn't FEEL like you had Asperger's right now
>In fact, your mind didn't feel different at all
>Wait, if this you has autism, and you don't feel any different...
>No, no, there's no way you're autistic
>Right now, you just had to take a shower...
>After ogling your body for a while as water hit your body, you went to get dressed
>You enter your room with a towel around your body, and rummage through your wardrobe
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!"
>Every single article of clothing 'you' owned was a fucking Reddit meme!
>No... This was no dream life!
>THIS WAS A NIGHTMARE
>You... You must be a Redditor
>Oh god
>Oh god you're literally going to vomit
>The door to your room bursts open, your mother entering the room looking scared
>"What's wrong?"
"I'M A REDDITOR!"
>"W-What?!"
"IT'S ALL MEMES! ALL MEMES! WAKE ME UP (CAN'T WAKE UP)!"
>You let your towel fall to the floor, giving up
>No need to hide your shame in front of an illusory mother
>Velvet shields her eyes, muttering about psychoactive medication
>Your eyes hit the bookshelf and you spot the kind of pseudo-patrician garbage you'd make fun of on /lit/ (you didn't read, but still)
>And you screamed

>You exit Fluttershy's van in front of a rundown Pizza N Play
"Is this where you work? Did you know that the Pizza N Play franchise started out in in 1977, by the very same man who invented Pong?! Originally, Pizza N Play was two separate companies that—"
>"SHUT UP! OH MY GOD! YOU'RE EVEN WORSE THAN USUAL!"
>W-Worse than usual?
>Were you really that bad?
>Fluttershy is almost hyperventilating at this point
>"Just... Just follow me, okay?"
"Okay."
>You followed her through the empty pizza arcade, and into a back area
>There were a lot of gruff looking men back here, the criminal-looking type
>This didn't feel right...
>Why would Fluttershy bring you here?
>She approached a door at the end of the hall and pushed it open
>A strange-looking man sat in a throne at the other end of the room, fingers steepled
>"TWILIGHT! I've been expecting you!"
>That's so cliche that this has to be a dream
>The man chuckles
>"I know I use that one too much, but you would too if you could! It's fun."
>He motions for you to come inside
>Fluttershy skips up to him and pulls him into a hug
>"I did what you asked, Discord!"
>"Thank you, Fluttershy. Now the three of us can have some fun! Uncle Discord and the girls!"
>Discord seemed really nice
>You don't remember him being your uncle, but like you've been thinking, you must be in some weird dream
>Judging by the snazzy set up he had here—which was sperg PARADISE, amazing battlestation, weapon collection, HUGE TV, the list goes on and on—this guy had the be the owner of this place
>And who could a guy who owned a pizza arcade be a bad dude?
>"I was thinking we could play some video games. What do you say, Twilight?"
"Yeah!" you said with a cheer
>He smiles
>"I've never seen you so pepped for some game time, before, Twilight! I like this new spunk of yours!"
"Th-Thanks!"
>A compliment!
>The three of you hurried off, and Discord pulled out a Dreamcast
>Oh boy!

>After another freak out, you finally get dressed
>Some autistic Star Wars T, with a shirt underneath to hide the scars, and some skinny jeans
>At least you looked good in them
>"[REDY EGHD?!]"
"[Coming down.]"
>You mentally prepare yourself for whatever shitty metalcore Rainbow's blaring and head out of the house
>"Have a good time with your friends, Twilight!"
"Will do!"
>You exited the house and...
>Nothing
>Not NOTHING, but no music!
>Dash's car is here and everything!
>Well, no, that's a different car, you think
>And... Sunny really is here!
>Holy shit, this trip is going to be awesome
>Even if you have to suffer through some Rainbow Dash
>They wave you over and you enter the backseat of the car, where Sunset is also sitting
>"Dude!" Dash says, turning around in her seat. "You ready?!"
"Sure, whatever," you say dismissively
>No need to pay any attention to something that isn't even real
>You turn to Sunset
>Hot as ever
>Hips
>Thighs
>Breasts
>"T-Twilight?"
>Can you control your trip? Or dream? Or whatever this is?
>You put your fingers on your temples and begin imagining Sunny naked, staring luridly at her body while giggling to yourself
>"T-Twilight, what are you... What are you doing?"
"It's not working?! But..."
>"Dude, what are you even..."
>Eyes are barreling down on you
>Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck
>Th-This isn't working!
>YOU'RE SPAGHETTI'ING
>Timidly, you reach out a hand and poke Sunny in the stomach
"Is this real life?"
>Sunny and Rainbow exchange looks
>"What's up with Egghead?" Dash whispers loudly
>"I... I don't know..."
>Maybe if you just explain everything...
"Look, guys, you have to believe me. Whoever you think I am, I'm NOT. This... My name is Twilight Sparkle. I go to CHS. I think I might be super high right now... If you're my trip, please get naked."
>Dash squints
>"Is this an Asperger's thing?"
"I DON'T HAVE ASPERGER'S! NOTHING ABOUT ME IS AUTISTIC!"

>Man, Uncle Discord is amazing!
>AMAZING!
>It's like he has everything here!
>After a couple hours playing games on the Dreamcast, you all started watching Terminator!
>And he even listened to you sperg all about it—the cast, the crew, the lore (both official and Word of God), the time paradox stuff...
>He laughed, listened, and even chimed in with a lot of his own stuff that you'd never even heard before!
>His film collection was massive, and apparently his computer was a MONSTER
>Had some program on it that would download every single new television show, movie, or video game as it came out from some pirating websites—and he had enough storage to do such a thing
>PC MASTER RACE FOREVER
>In fact, it seemed he knew a lot about computers—way more than you—and you nodded along as he spoke, completely engrossed
>Hours passed by in his Fun Bunker, and much laughing and hugging and HYPE was had
>Though, Fluttershy was getting redder and redder as time went on
>Something must be really wrong at home for her or something, for her to be so mad when you and Discord were having SUCH a great time!
>"...And my employees NEVER seem to get ANY of my anime references! I give them hand-outs on what I find to be REQUIRED viewing—I make sure people understand these are potentially life-changing animes—but it seems like they just brush it all off!"
"That sucks, but I've gotten all of your anime references! I could tell you exactly what episode every quote was from, even!"
>Discord sighed
>"We should go to Canter Con again next year. That would be fun, wouldn't it?"
>Canter Con?
>There'd be so many people there...
"It just makes me a little nervous to think about, I guess."
>Discord pinches your cheeks
>"When did you get so CUTE?"
>You giggle, but the sound is pierced by a shriek
>"I'VE HAD IT! DISCORD, DON'T YOU SEE WHAT SHE'S DOING?! THIS IS AN ACT! SHE'S TRYING TO APPEAL TO YOUR STUPID NERD SHIT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU!"

>"Twilight, calm down, please! What are you talking about?!"
>"Dude, I think she's having some sort of autistic meltdown or something."
>"Dash, that's not a thing!"
>"Look at her! She's not even talking now!"
>The illusions continue bickering with each other, with the unreal Sunset shaking you by the shoulders
>It feels so real, but there's no way it could be
>This HAS to be a crazy trip that... That isn't all insane for some reason
>Or you died and this is hell, punished for all eternity to be a literal sperg because God is a normie
>The voices begin to fade back in
>"—to snap out of this! Twilight!"
"Are you sure you guys aren't, you know, hallucinations?" you say dimly
>Rainbow sucks air through her teeth
>"Dude, she's totally lost it..."
>Even when she wasn't real she still grated on your nerves
"I don't have to justify myself to fucking hallucinations! Go back and listen to your shitty metalcore boybands! Why is your normie ass even in my hallucination?!"
>Rainbow squinches her eyes
>"Since when have listened to metalcore together? And what music is so great then, dick?"
>Sunset shoots Dash a harsh look
>"WHAT?!"
"I don't listen to music unironically like some fag or whatever! If you guys... If you won't get naked I'll just wait until I wake up."
>"Egghead, you're acting REALLY weird. And since when are you into girls?"
>God, what is your brain even up to right now?
>Who are you, your own Dr. Phil or some shit?
"I... I just like what I like and I don't want to think about it! God, if I'm high right now, why isn't anything cool happening! Everything feels so real, but it can't be! Th-That would mean my whole life was a fucking dream or some shit! It... I ain't about that life, fam!"
>Dash scratches her chin
>"Sunset, what if she really isn't our Twilight? Listen to the way she talks!"
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE WAY I TALK YOU CUNT?!"
>"It... You know, you talk like you're in some fucking mumblecore indie movie, or whatever and shit."
"SH-SHUT UP."

>Discord's jovial expression turns sour as Fluttershy points an accusatory finger at you, standing between you and the TV
>Why is she acting like this?!
"Fluttershy, what's gotten into you? You've always been so kind and quiet! I mean, 'shy' is in your name!"
>The yellow girl shrieks in psychopathic rage, and you huddle against Discord
>"Stop being so fucking sarcastic! You never come over until Discord asks, and when you do, you're always trying to leave! Now, ALL OF A SUDDEN, you're both talking about stupid garbage for HOURS?! You're just trying to become his favorite!"
>"Fluttershy, I'd advise you to calm down..." Discord says, his voice a low simmer
>You wonder why dream-Fluttershy is acting so weird, but then realize you can perfectly remember everything you've done since you've woken up
>If this were a dream, even a particularly strong one, it shouldn't work like that, should it?
>Not to mention all the movies and games working properly...
>In your investigations of lucid dreaming, there were certain things, you'd found, that dreams had a hard time sustaining or doing at all
>"—EVEN LISTENING?!"
"S-Sorry, I was just thinking. You can say it again, I'm sorry for being rude. I've already told you that my Asperger's affects my social abilities."
>Discord breaks out in laughter, his guffaws thrumming through your own small frame
>"Asperger's?! Twilight, when did you get so funny?!"
>Fluttershy begins to rifle through her pockets for something
>"FLUTTERSHY!"
>She stops, hand still in her skirt, and begins crying
>"Get out of here if you're going to be like that. Git! Git! Shoo!"
>You're sad to see her run out sobbing like this, but it might be better for her to be alone if something's causing her this much trouble
>"I'm sorry about all that, Twilight. But really, when did you get so fun and cute?! Look at those cheeks!"
>You giggle as he pinches your cheeks
>"I think it's time for a Bring Twilight to Work Day."
>A whole day at Pizza N Play?!
"Woo!"

>Dash and Sunset whispered to one another for a while before nodding in a seeming agreement
>"Twilight, it's possible you're not OUR Twilight," Sunset says
>You squint
"Okay..."
>"If you're not our Twilight, then you should be able to tell us about where you REALLY came from. Spare no details. Otherwise... Maybe you really are just having an 'autistic' meltdown..."
>SO, she wants your life story, huh?
>It's a LONG story, but, eventually, you get done with it
>You wish you could've left out the more awkward/cringe/feels/violent shit, but you feel it's best not to
>What's the worst that could happen by telling a bunch of hallucinations shit?
>"Egghead... What the fuck? You got raped?!"
"IT WASN'T RAPE! Ugh, is stupid Rainbow Dashes like a universal constant or something?"
>Dash sticks her tongue out at you
>"I don't like this one! Let's get our old Twilight back. In fact, let's get our OLD old Twilight back!"
>"DASH!"
>Sunset facepalms
>"Look, Twilight, I believe you're not our Twilight. Even afflicted with any human disorders, there's no way she could become... THIS in a day."
"What's that supposed to mean!"
>"Okay, just hear me out, Twilight..."
>She goes on to tell you about parallel dimensions
>About the fact that she is a horse
>And that there is a horse version of you who is the embodiment of magic and also a princess of friendship
>And then she tells you all about the Twilight you're supposed to be, and it lines up with what your 'mom' told you
>And it all sounds exactly like the crazy kind of shit that would confirm that, yup, this was a trip that just started out a bit rocky
>"I think that covers it all. Any ques—"
>You place your hands on Sunset's breasts
"Woah, these feel so real!"
>"Twilight, get your hands off of my chest."
"These feel so real... How would I know what breasts feel like? The threesome was hazy and... OH GOD."
>You rip your hands from Sunset's body
"OH GOD. THIS IS REAL, ISN'T IT?! OH GOD. OH GOD."
>"Dude, THAT'S what got you?"

>"...and this is the van they use to transport the meth!"
>Discord's been giving you a tour of his complex, and...
>Well, judging from your knowledge of narcotics (which really only comes from television), this is a pretty hefty set up
>He doesn't keep anything in the Pizza N Play, for obvious reasons, and everything has been compartmentalized through various other organizations under him
>At first, you thought this was another one of those jokes that you didn't get, but more and more it's seeming like that'd be a pretty expensive and pointless joke
>And apparently he's had his eyes on you to take over the family business
>Somehow his logic involves the fact that you like the same animes and movies he does, and don't leave your room a lot, and aren't 'normal'
"This has to be a dream..."
>Discord smiles widely, putting his hands to his cheeks
>"That was the best possible thing you could have said! Twilight, I KNEW you'd come around eventually. I just had to show you the way! And after today, well..."
>He exhales in a deep and contented sigh, and kneels down to you
>"It took a while, but I've found a real friend. People like us, we're so rare, Twilight. Everything the light touches is our kingdom."
"I got that reference!"
>Discord does a little dance before pulling you into a hug
>This was a very strange drea—No, you've established that it would be very unlikely this is a dream
>Wait...
>You've just been so preoccupied with having fun that you've forgotten your situation
>Oh GOD, none of this is making any sense!
>What if this is real?
>Your life you thought you had was just a dream instead?
>But it doesn't feel like a dream—you remember it far too well for a dream
>"Twilight, are you okay?"
"I-I..."
>Discords pats you on the shoulder
>"How about we go to the arcade? Would you like that?"
"Would I?!"
>It's been FOREVER since you've just run around an arcade
>"Did you know that the Pizza N Play started out in 1977 by the very same man who invented Pong?"

>Sunset asks Rainbow to bring you to CHS, because there's a 'portal' there to 'Equestria'
>Apparently there's a whole fuckton of universes out there in the 'multiverse'
>Still can't believe any of this is real...
>And that you spaghetti'd SO fucking hard
>"I'm sure we can find a way to get you back in your old body."
"What? I don't want that!"
>Sunset balks
>"Why wouldn't you want that? That's the whole point of why we're going to Equestria!"
"I mean, c'mon, look at these," you say, cupping your breasts. "I have boobs in this body!"
>"Dude, oh my God, what does the real you look like? A boy?"
>Dash chuckles as she drives
"NO. I'm just extremely flat and not as curvy."
>Dash laughs more
>The laughter is broken through by Sunset's groaning
>"Look! You can't just go around in another Twilight's body for the rest of your life! We have to make things right!"
"You heard my life story! Why would I want that back? Just let me grab my friends and pull them out of their shit lives, and we can live in fantasy horse land!"
>"IT'S CALLED EQUESTRIA!"
>You shrug
"Whatever. Look, Sunny, please, you can't bring me back! I can't go back!"
>"Ugh, you're starting to sound like you're in ISIS."
"What?"
>She shakes her head
>"Nothing. Twilight, I don't know what happened, but people from your universe can't just be pulled out. There's a Prime Directive and everything. Equestria has access to the multiverse, but THIS universe doesn't, and neither does yours. We have to keep things in their place."
"BULL. SHIT. I'm not going back! My whole life I've been turning to escapism, and now escapism has become REAL! Why would you want to send me back to my shithole of a universe?!"
>Sunset groans
>"At the very least, we have to switch your minds back. No negotiations on that."
>You cross your arms
>This Sunny sucks
"So... What's the sex like in Equestria? Horses have pretty long—"
>"You're HUMAN, why would you even be interested in—"
"I-I'm just curious! Sheesh..."

>This Pizza N Play isn't like most of the others you've been to
>The focus on 'ticket games' is a lot lower, and it has some quality cabinets
>Lots of shmups and fighting games, all the House of the Dead games...
>Even some of your old favorite Star Wars arcade games are in here
>After a couple hours of gaming in the arcade with Discord, both of you end up at a booth together, pooped, eating—what else—pizza
"Today has been awesome."
>"Twilight, it warms my heart to hear that, it really does."
>You and Discord keep eating away at your pizza, already about halfway through
>Letting yourself just hang out with someone who actually likes your more spergy qualities, and who seems to even share them, has been fun
>Maybe just going along with all this has allowed you to not have to actually think about what was really going on
>But...
>Now that you're having down time for the first time since you've woken up, that same fright that took you in the morning was resurfacing
>There was no sense to be made in waking up in a new house, in a new body, in a world filled with new people
>Everything was similar, but wildly different...
>"Is something wrong?"
>Would he think you're crazy if you tell him?
>Or would it even matter if this is some kind of crazy Twilight Zone stuff?
>Great show, by the way, the original run at least, since it really—
>Not the time for that, Twilight
"Something IS wrong. Everyone's acting like I've known them forever, when I'm sure they don't know me at all. They might think they know me, but it's some other me! The life I'm living right now isn't real. It might sound crazy, but I woke up today a different person from the me I was yesterday! The Twilight sitting in front of you isn't the Twilight you think she is!"
>Discord nods along as you talk, and pauses for a while once you finish
>He takes another bite of pizza
>"Someone's been reading too many philosophy books. I'm up for discussing that sort of thing, though, if you want."
"W-What?"

>Once Rainbow dropped you and Sunset off at CHS, you entered a portal through the statue right outside of the school
>You'll get to the horse thing, but, what the fuck?
>HOW did no one find this before?
>Maybe your universe had a portal in it this whole time...
>Anyways, you were a purple unicorn right now, and finding it somewhat difficult to walk on all fours like this
>The sun was shining, the colors of the world were popping, and you could hear a musical number going on in the distance somewhere
>This place almost made you want to vomit
>Sure, the almost universal nudity was kind of interesting, but you weren't 100% sure you were into the pony thing right now—plus, YOU were naked
>Hugging your tail against your backside was getting you odd looks, but it was better than not covering up
>Or maybe it was because you looked exactly like the Twilight who was royalty here (what a lucky cunt)
>"...and that's how we'll get Twilight to figure out how to put Twilight back in her body and YOU back in yours."
"R-Right... Sure."
>Sunset stops in front of you
>"You weren't listening, were you?"
"I'm sorry, but, well, I'm having a hard time accepting all of this. I... This is just super messed up. And I really don't want to switch back, or go back."
>"Well, we'll see what happens. If they let you leave your universe, it won't matter what body you start with. You could be a cyborg if you wanted."
>Cyborg?
>Why the FUCK would Twilights not pull other Twilights out of their universes?!
>Who doesn't want to be a cyborg?!
>Leaving people to rot in their universes is a god damn crime
>You and Sunset approach a large, crystal, tree-like palace
>"Okay, this is where Twilight lives. She'll be able to help you and the Twilight whose body you're inhabiting."
"Sunny, can I ask you a question?"
>Sunset turns to face you
>"Sure."
"If retarded Dashes are a common thread, is, you know... US being a thing a common thread?"
>She groans and heads into the castle

>Despite your best efforts to pull the conversation to reality—get across the severity of the situation—Discord seems to take all your LITERAL comments as metaphorical statements of existence and personal authenticity
>"...and how can one even tell if they're doing what they would 'really' do, anyways? How can one ever even be inauthentic? That's what I don't like about Sartre, and it's a flaw that, if I remember correctly, he admits to. Whatever it is that you do, that's what 'you would do', so you can't ever be doing something you wouldn't do! That's the whole point of radical freedom as a concept! Radical freedom necessitates the impossibility of inauthenticity, doesn't it? Oh, I don't know, it's been forever since I've read any of that stuff and—"
"Discord! Please, you're sperging out."
>He seems taken aback
>"I'm what?"
"If it were anytime else, I would be perfectly fine with discussing philosophy, history, literature... Anything! But I'm being completely literal. I woke up today as another person. Like this is some kind of alternate reality! This literally isn't my body!"
>Discord cocks his head and takes a small nip at his pizza
>"Are you high right now? Did you take something when you went to the bathroom?"
"Why is everyone asking if I'm high?! No, I don't do drugs. I'd never do drugs!"
>"That's not what Fluttershy tells me."
>What?
>The Twilight you are right now maybe does drugs, but YOU don't
"Let me just try to prove to you that, up until today, I've been living a completely different life."
>You talk about your family life, your childhood, your school, your bullies, everything
>Even the cutting and the beatings at Sugar Coat's hands
>In the most succinct way you possibly can
"...and that's that. I know it doesn't make sense, but I've concluded that this can't be a dream."
>"It's hard to believe, but I've seen some animes like that... Despite the Asperger's, you've been a complete TREASURE, Twilight. I might have to reevaluate things..."

>This place is fucking HUGE
>It doesn't look so big on the outside, but on the inside, this place is fucking palacial!
>Which makes sense, get it, because...
>Yeah
>Sunset doesn't seem to be entirely happy talking to you, but isn't NOT talking to you, so
>"Sure, there are quite a few Sunset/Twilight relationships out there. More than a lot of other kinds, but less than some others."
"But, like, I don't know, you're SORT OF attracted to me, right, then? The Sunny/Twilight thing must be some kind of 'thing', right?"
>Sunny groans again
>"This conversation is making me a little uncomfortable. Could we drop it?"
"I'm sorry, but I'm just new to this... Whole... You know, alternate universes thing! Plus, we've already kissed like three times, and now we've seen each other naked, so—"
>"THAT WAS A DIFFERENT ME!"
>Her voice echoes heavily through the crystal halls
"Okay, okay..."
>Usually, you'd be feeling more spaghetti about this, and definitely less forward about things, but...
>You don't know, knowing that there's an infinite number of universes with an infinite number of the people you know, AND yourself?
>Kind of made it seem like things had fewer consequences
>Hell, it made it kind of feel like it wasn't real
>Like this was still some kind of trip or dream or something
>This wasn't real life, so you didn't have to worry about being haunted forever by saying something weird to someone
>There's no way you're going to let yourself be trapped in your old universe...
>Not when you know that there's a WHOLE multiverse out there where you can escape your shit life and become awesome and happy
>"Okay, here we are. DON'T. BE. WEIRD. None of that 'now neither of us will be virgins' shit."
"Why would you even... Why bring that up, even?"
>"I think I know you well enough now to assume what you're thinking."
>You mutter to yourself as Sunset leads you into the throne room
>"Sunset! And... Me. Welcome!"
>Huh, she had wings
>You like you without wings more, honestly

>It might sound crazy, because it is, but Discord actually believes you
>The two of you had headed back to his nerd-palace a few hours ago, and had written down everything you could think to solve the situation
>With both of your extremely autismal grip on pop culture, you went through everything that could possible help you get you back in your body
>"Maybe my Twilight made a wish while the stars were aligning, or on a shooting star, to have another life, and part of that meant that you'd end up as her for a day. Do you remember making a wish at night time to a shooting star or something?"
"No."
>"And you definitely didn't get struck by lightning while fighting over a fortune cookie or something..."
>You sighed
"Well, if it has to do with solving our personal problems, maybe I have to make friends or something before we can switch back."
>Discord yawned on the couch
>"Am I not enough of a friend?"
"Hm..."
>Discord seemed like a really nice guy, and the two of you DID just spend a WHOLE day hanging out and having tons of fun
"No, I'd consider you an awesome friend. So, it must not be friends. Maybe it's true love's kiss or something?"
>Discord pretends to gag
>"If that's it, then you might as well stick around here than give into a universe with poor taste in tropes. 'True love's kiss', humbug!"
>He chuckles
>You kind of agreed
>That wasn't something that would even make sense, really
>If you got true love's kiss, then you'd be transported back to your reality, away from your 'true love'
>"Maybe it's just this one night, and when you go to sleep—"
"No, because I already took a nap earlier."
>You both lean back on the couch
"I can't abandon my old life. My parents and friends... I can't imagine how they'd feel once they found out what happened. Do you think your Twilight would fit in well in my life? If we're stuck in each other's universes, I'd at least want her to be happy."
>"Both of you are great girls. I'm sure she's doing fine."

>Sunset explains your situation to... The pony princess version of you
>Princess Twilight nods as Sunset finishes
>First, she looks to the floor, sighing, holding a solemn pose for a few moments
>Then, she looks up to you, looking glum
>Like she was about to tell you you had bladder cancer or something
>"Twilight, I'm sorry, but... You don't have a universe code, and there's no way we could possibly find where you came from. There's an infinite number of universes and..."
>Sunset Shimmer is standing next to you, mouth agape
>Should you... Act sad?
>You want to try and act sad, but can't help but smile
"So... So I don't have to go back?!"
>"H-Have to? Don't you want to go back and see all the people you—"
"I mean, some of them I'm going to miss, sure, but this is AMAZING! Sunny said I'd be forced to stay in my universe!"
>Princess Twilight shrugs
>"If we could put you back, you would be kept there, yes. That's just how things work."
>You laugh
>Now you can have amazing space adventures, and who knows, maybe you can be some immortal cyborg or some shit!
>And have even more of a female shape with the power of bio-modification or something!
>"B-But, Twilight, what about the Twilight from my human world?! We have to get her back! Y-You don't know what kind of terrible universe THIS Twilight came from! She won't be able to handle it! Twilight's in danger!"
>Princess Twilight consoles Sunny, placing a hoof on her shoulder
>"There's nothing we can do. This sort of thing can just... Happen, sometimes. It's an infinite multiverse. Anything and nothing is possible."
>"B-B-But... T-Twilight... She..."
>Sunset begins to sob for her lost friend, who, yeah, a Sperg wouldn't last a DAY in your shoes, but who fucking cares?
>"Sunset, could you leave me and Twilight for a moment?"
>"O-Of course..."
>Once Sunset exits, Twilight's eyes dart from side to side nervously
>"So... You a virgin?"
"No," you say, proudly
>"O-Oh... I thought we could... Not be v—"
"It was rape."

>You and Discord watch one final movie together, called Miami Connection
>Never seen it before, but man, it's definitely one of those 'so bad it's good' flicks
>Laughed the whole way through!
>And Discord sperged out about how the film was rediscovered and all that stuff
>The film ends, and Discord sighs
>"Twilight, you know, the other Twilight... I held her in a somewhat precarious position. Threatening the lives of her family and friends and that sort of thing. You know how the drug trafficking game is."
>Woah, wait, what?
>He didn't seem like the kind of person who'd—
>"But you're a different Twilight, so... I'm not going to hold those weights over YOUR head."
>That's a relief
"Th-Thanks..."
>"On one condition," he says, grinning madly
>For some reason—despite the fact that you hadn't seen a mean bone in his body this whole day—his smile frightened you
>His occupation is now starting to dawn on you and you sweat
>W-What could his one condition be?
"What do you want?"
>Discord inches his face towards yours, his face now a deathly deadpan
"Ah!"
>He pinches your cheeks
>"You have to keep being CUTE! And hang out every once in a while. That's two things, but still!"
>Oh god, now he's tickling you!
"S-Stop it!"
>After a few moments, he stops, laughing
>"Think you can handle my requests?"
"Yeah! I mean, why WOULDN'T I want to come here? But..."
>You let out a wistful sigh
"I just want to see my family again..."
>Discord nods
>"Twilight, you seem like a smart girl. You can ask anything of me. I mean, if we KNOW alternate universes are real... Why not build a stargate?!"
"D-Do you think we could?!"
>He nuggies you
>"I know we could! It has to be possible, don't you think?"
"Thanks so much, Discord... You're the best!"
>"Hey, who doesn't want to be caught up in sci-fi hijinks?"
>Discord stands up from the couch and offers you his hand
>"Now, let's put the cherry on top of the day and go kill some dudes!"
"W-What?"

THE END