Drunkard Anon Chapter 1: Operation Renigger

>After a fair bit of thinking and baking under the sun, you checked your watch to find time has skipped a fair bit of time
>By now the sky has began to turn to sunset, and your shelter feels as if it was calling you
>You bundle yourself up and close the flaps, sealing yourself from the exterior world
>Pondering for a moment, and beginning to fade into a dreamless sleep
>Where the hell are you?

>As you awake you find yourself slightly damp
>It was raining, not hard, but enough to make a difference
>Laying there just resting, stretching, listening to the sound of the rain as it beat down
>Whelp, time to get up
>You fumble with your pack that was laying across your chest and pull out a folded up rain suit
>Dark black, cheap little thing it was
>You slipped on the top and bottom, pulled your knife and hung it over the belt line of the pants, and then tightened them
>Opening the shelter, you untied the paracord and the tarp, and wrung the paracord to pull any water out, flapped the tarp to keep it dry before stowing both in the pack

1/x

>Looking up, the clouds were dark, providing a torrential rain, but thouroughly woven together as if by hand
>Strange, but probably an anomaly, hopefully no hail or tornadoes will hit this area today
>Snacking on a bit of rabbit, you continued on through the forest, boots crunching the twigs and what not strewn across the ground
>It was calm, peaceful, the rain pattering upon your suit as you progressed through the forest
>It began to progress into a clearing, much like the one you woke up in, the high grasses swaying in the wind and a small stream running through it
>Up ahead was a bridge, small, but functional, hopefully it wasn't slippery for it was too narrow to catch your fall well
>You crossed it and headed upwards to a small cottage, strange, it was a tree, but whatever land of talking horses, not a big deal
>On coincidence, as you went to knock on the door it opened, startling both you and the small yellow horse, who then slammed the door
>Fuck

2/x

I'm not here to hurt you... I'm sorry if I had scared you, I'll be going now
>A 180 and you were back to square one, into the forest
>The door behind you creaked open, "W-wait"
>Another 180 and you were facing the same yellow horse
Please, I do not wish to disrupt your day, I'll just be goin-
>"N-no It's ok, please, come in"
Well if you insist
>You were led into the small cottage, head almost hitting the doorframe but the ceiling was spacious enough for you to enter
>A small rabbit was giving you the stink eye
>No worries, you've had worse
>The horse pony thing sat you down near a table and fumbled around began set her tea kettle on the burner
>"S-so you're the, 'Monster' everyone's f-freaking on about in town? You don't seem like a monster"
Well, I got in a confrontation with some white horse/pony thing, and then a Rainbow one tried to attack me... Think it was Rainbow Dash and Rarity
>"Y-you got in a fight with them?"
Yeah I was talking to some, 'Sweetie Belle' and then Rarity got up in my face and truck to kick me, so I stopped her, then Rainbow Dash tried to throw a punch at me, which I stopped
>"O-oh dear..."
You know them?
>"T-they're my friends... Y-you broke Rainbow's wing"
...fuck

3/x

>Time to play Damage Control
Look... I didn't mean to hurt anyone, she jus-
>"I know what she did... umm"
Anonymous
>"She's just a big bully, she's never nice to anyp-ny, I swear her ego is the size of canterlot"
I can tell
>"And Rarity... She's a bully too sometimes, but she's awful nice, I don't know why she would try to hurt anyp-ny really... You said you were talking to Sweetie Belle?"
Well, Sweetie Belle came up to me and started talking, and then Rarity got on her high horse and thought I was going to abduct her, I don't see why but what's done is done
>Suddenly there's a commotion outside and the door is kicked down, revealing the Rainbow pony
>"Fluttershy! We saw the monster come in he-" she spots you, "YOU"
>She starts sprnting towards you at super speeds, not wanting her to damage this pony's home, you simply grab her and throw her to the ground
>"Unhand her you filthy buffoon!" says, 'Rarity'
Make me you unwashed tramp
>"Why I'd nev-"
>"GIRLS!"
>All eyes rest on Purple pony
>"I will not have you attacking eachother right now"
>"Bu-"
>"NO BUTS! Now everyone, out"
>You let go of Rainbow and she flies out the door, Rarity following in toe
>You and Fluttershy get the cue and walk outside as well

4/x

>Apparently the entire gang is here
>Pink, orange, Rainbow bitch, White bitch, Purple one, and the one behind you called Fluttershy
>"Now then, we are civil ponies are we not, It's time to handle this as one should, violence will just escalate this situation until someone gets hurt... again" she says pointing to Rainbow's wing
>You smirk, Rainbow glares
>"Now..."
Anonymous
>"Anonymous... Explain everything that happened today in detail" she says, horn lighting up and levitating a quill and paper
>Ho-
>Magic, don't gotta explain shit
Ok so I woke up in a field, went into town, talked to some small pony, then Rarity here starts screaming at me and tries to kick me, I grab her and tell her to leave me alone, Rainbow one starts yelling and tries to punch me, so I throw her away from me."
>"And then?"
Then I ran away because a bunch of crazy ponies were chasing me and went into the forest to go sleep, met Fluttershy here, then Rainbow one attacked me again, and then you took us out here.
>"Okay and now Rarity, what is your take?" says Purple one
>"He tried to abduct Sweetie Belle!" she shouts
>"And you Rainbow?" Purple one says
>"I thought he was trying to have his way with Rarity and he chucked me into a chimney!" Rainbow Dyke says
I wasn't trying to do any of those things, but ok
>Purple one seems to be thinking pretty hard there

5/x

>"Did you really try to abduct Sweetie Belle?" Purple asks
She came up to me and started talking to me, told me how this was Ponyville and I was strange and what not
>"And did you grab Rarity?"
Yeah, I tried to keep her from kicking me in the face so I grabbed her and told her to leave me alone
>"And about Rainbow?"
Tried to punch me in the face, so I reacted
>"And your reaction was to throw her into a chimney?" she says with a, "Are you shitting me" look
Yep
>"*Sigh* Spiiike?"
>A small purple reptillian thing walks up to Purple and grabs the scroll, setting it on fire... what a waste of time that was
>"Alright then, that takes care of that, people in town can stop panicing, and the Police have a report" Purple says, "And Anonymous?"
Hmm?
>"You're going to have to talk to the police"
...Fine
>And so you head off with Purple back into town, Fluttershy trailing behind you and The rest ahead of you.

6/6

>Progressing through the small town, for the second time, not as fun as the first
>Ponies are sneering at you, insults flying your way, grannies giving you the stink eye
>Well fuck you too
>Eventually the walk through town ends as you enter a gigantic tree in the center of town, inside are two regal looking ponies with golden armor
>They're looking with grim determination not to break their visage, but they look uneasy as you tower over them
>They're only up to your waist, so that puts you at an advantage for intimidation factor
>"Are you Anonymous"
In the flesh
>"Very well, we are here to take an official report to aid the one taken by Twilight Sparkle, let's begin"
As you wish
>The questions are simple, age, height, weight, species, gender, name, and as they continue they get to the beginning
>"And then you threw Rainbow Dash?"
Yessir, in self defense of myself and others
>"I'll take it"
>The interview progressed further and further
>"So then you restrained her again, for self defense?"
Yessir
>The pony shuffles his papers on the desk and places them in his saddle bag
>"You will have to meet at Ponyville police station two days from now to see if you will be charged with any crime, as it stands now it has to be reviewed"
I thank you for your time
>You follow him out the room and out the door
>"And I thank you for complying, good day"
>They leave the tree, leaving you alone with the group of ponies.
So...

1/x

>Awkward silence fills the room
>"Well... Now that that's over with, I guess everyp-ny can go now" Twilight says
>You begin to leave, "But anon, could you stay a little bit longer"
I guess
>All the other ponies take their leave, leaving you with only Twilight, Spike, and some Owl thing that won't stop staring at you
>"So... Anonymous, you say you woke up in a field"
Mmmhmm
>"And... You didn't know where ponies were or where you were"
Yep
>"And you're not in any books that I know of and nobody has ever seen you before"
While I'm young Twilight...
>"I'm just curious at all, where you came from, ho you got her-"
Look, I'll tell you, but after I do I'm getting out of here
>She levitates a quill and paper and gets ready

2/x

Where I come from, ponies like you don't exist... Well... they do, except they aren't ponies like you are
>"Could you explain that"
Ponies where I'm from are longer faced, usually only a few colors such as brown, white, tan, they don't ever have wings, and they don't have horns
>"Interesting..."
And what you're doing now? Magic? That doesn't exist.
>She loses concentration and drops the paper and quill
>"Magic doesn't exist where you're from, how could that even be possi-"
We do everything ponies do either by hand
>You raise your hand
Or by using combustion
>"You mean fire?"
Yes like fire. It started with steam engines, like I've seen you've had railroad tracks here, and then it advanced to combustion engines
>"Could you explain?"
A fuel air mixture is pressurized and combusted, sending a piston flying and through a process of gears and shafts and all that nonsense, it makes a wheel turn
>"I see"
So we basically made anything and everything, vehicles, space craft, boats, racing vehicles, aircraft, everything
>"D-did you say, Space craft?"
Yes, we've been to the moon and back, without magic
>The smile on her face looks like it hurts
But...
>Her smile drops

3/x

Humans are not without violence and war, technologies of the old including bows, spear, axes, hammers, swords, advanced to crossbows, muskets, and more
>She begins to frown
>You pull out your .357
This? This fires a burning hot piece of lead at over the speed of sound, we call this, a revolver
>You see in her eyes
>Fear
Humans advanced warfare from muskets, to rifles such as the Sharps rifle, to automatic weapons
>"Automatic?"
The fastest weapon we have fires over 1 million rounds in under a minute, and the fastest weapon speeds at over 4,5000 meters per second, so fast that the projectile it fires melts and catches fire to the air around it
>"How is that even..."
Humans have used these weapons to do horrible things, genocide, murder, there are at least 5 wars going on every year that humans are living. Seventy years ago 60 million people died in one of our World Wars
>"But why... Why would you do it?"
That, I cannot answer
>You fumble around in your pocket and pull out a cigarette and a lighter, special occasions only.

4/x

>You put it in your mouth and light, taking a long drag of the cigarette, smoke filling your mouth, flowing out of your nose, causing Twilight to gag a little bit
We have bombs, bombs that can incinerate those within 50 miles and cause damage to millions
>Another drag
Warfare is human nature... You've got something I want? What's to stop me from breaking down your door and stealing it? If I am stronger, if I am willing, I could set fire to the world, so what stops me
>You stare into her eyes
>...and take another drag
That is all you will ever need to know about humans, some have everything, some have nothing, go with the flow and you probably won't get killed, that's what I say
>You stand up
>Open the door
>And walk away
>"Anon! Wait!"
>You're already gone

5/5

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=506NS0tDylw&feature=my_favorites&list=FLHwTvhJRoSuZG3dKhudz5Ew
>The night air is soothing
>Gravel crunching beneath your feet, a light breeze soothing your mind
>Sure, you're stuck here
>Maybe It's just a bad dream
>Maybe you're in a coma
>You got struck pretty hard
>Eventually the walk ends and you meet the forest again, dark
>A few steps in and you're already uneasy
>Something was watching you
>Pulling out your flashlight, the light striking across the forest, after a 360 you spot it
>Reflective eyes in the bush
>A cougar or jagour is stalking you
>You pull out your .357 and keep the light trained on its eyes

1/x

>It slowly circles around you, if it pounced there would be no chance you could get an accurate shot
>It's now or never
>Training the sights on its head and squeezing the trigger, a thundering boom shoots out the animal falls to the ground
>Slowly checking for other threats, you retreat out of the forest and back on the trail
>Opening the cylinder, you remove the spent casing and load in another one
>Deciding you're in the clear, you turn and face the town, ears still ringing
>All the lights are on, fuck
>"Anon *pant*"
>Is that
>Yep
>It's Twilight
>"Listen I just wanted to *pant* say I've talked to the pri-"
>Taking off sprinting, you leave her in the dust
>You are seriously not in the mood to deal with this bullshit right now

2/x

>Eventually you make it far away from town, making it near what looks to be an orchard
>Apples, apples everywhere
>I bet Applejack would love this place
>You hop the fence and run to a break in the hills with a small creek
>Splashing a bit of water on your face, and refilling your canteen with water and two drops of bleach, shaken, not stirred
>Setting up your A-frame shelter again between two trees, wristwatch reading 0000, you fall asleep
>This time dreams full of color and fear, moments of your life both good and bad flashing before your eyes
>Suddenly, your body feels like it was just assaulted by a rain of fist size hailstorm
>You awake finding an apple rolled into your tent, peaking outside you see one expressionless Red pony
Heheh... Sorry about falling asleep here, I'll just pack up and get out of your hair I suppose
>"Eeeyup"
>A man of few words you see.

3/x

>Stowing all your gear, you nod to the pony and he nods back, he throws you an apple and you walk off the property
>Seems like a nice guy, isn't scared or trying to kill you
>Neutral
>That's the word
>Hopping the fence, you head into town, chomping on the apple as the trail progresses i
>Let's see what they thought of finding a dead jagour and you running away
>Probably going to get imprisoned but hey, it was coming right at you!
>Strolling into town you check your watch
>0842
>The sun's heat was beating down, just not with much intensity as the trail lead into town
>Ponies stopped and stared at you, judging your every move
>They knew what had occured
>Spotting a newspaper on the ground, picking it up, you read the title
>"Monster kills 200 pound Jagour"
>Yep, they knew

4/x

>A certain yellow pony is walking up to you, staring directly into your eyes
>Is that supposed to be intimidating?
>"Who do you think you are mister! Hurting a poor animal that's smaller than yo-"
Fluttershy
>"-nd furthermore how can you sleep at ni-"
Fluttershy...
>"-should report you to the police for animal cruelt-"
FLUTTERSHY
>"Y-yes"
That lepoard was stalking me, I had to do what I did so I didn't become It's dinner.
>It looks as if she had a sudden realization hit her
>"Ohhh... Well... I understand anon" she looks to you with a smile
I'm sorry I had to do it, I wouldn't if I didn't have to, but if I had let it live it would've ripped me to shreds
>"ANONMOUS!"
>It's Twilight again
>Staring at you like you punched spike in his tenders

5/x

>"I tried yesterday to talk to you, but what do you do? You run away! And not only that, you killed a jagour! Are you trying to go to prison?"
I thought we were over this...
>"You randomly took of leaving me behind with so many questions and so little answers, what was I to do? I sent a message to the princess and she wants to speak to you"
>You point to yourself
Me, no rikkey
>You shake your finger
Princess, you got that?
>"Anonymous... She wants to meet you, if you deny her, she's going to send guards"
And if she sends guards to pick me up what'll they do?
>"They'll force you to go then! Do you really want that to be the first thing your princess hears of you? That you denied going to meet her?"
#1 she's not my princess, #2 if those guards are like any of these other ponies I'm sure they won't be able to force me, and #3 I'm ditching this god forsaken town once I get the charges dropped
>She face... hoofs? Whatever
>"Anonymous don't you realize ponies can use magic?"
And?
>"Her horn glows and you feel a tugging on your body"
Yeah yeah you can tug on me that's not a big deal
>"H-huh? You're not levitating? But ho-"
Magic, doesn't, exist. Not where I'm from, never has, never will
>Guess It's time to light it up again
>You put another cig in your mouth, lighting it and taking another long drag
Now will you please leave me the fuck alone
>"Fine, but if the princess comes for you, It's on your head, not mine."

6/6