Smokefag

A confession, some spaghetti and an irate pegasus part 2

Nov 3rd, 2015
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  1. >Twilight looks at you with one of her eyebrows raised, like she’s judging your very right to exist in the first place.
  2. >Or she’s just confused. Fuck if you know. You can’t read pony expressions for shit
  3. >No seriously. You can’t. The massive eyes, the ears and tail. It’s all just a mass overload of information, and sometimes it seems contradictory.
  4. >Trying to keep a track of every little tell, and then paint a picture with all the information you may or may not have gathered has resulted in more than one unpleasant misunderstanding.
  5. >Not really too surprising. You couldn’t read people back home for shit either.
  6. >This has resulted in you almost giving up trying to read ponies mood.
  7. >Looking from Twilight over to the pegasus deathbringer you notice something odd.
  8. >She’s holding one hoof in front of her face. Shaking uncontrollably.
  9. >Shaking intensifies.
  10. >Twilight seems to notice as well and has stopped giving you the judgmental eyebrow
  11. >She needed that eyebrow so she could give the shaking Pegasus the quizzical eyebrow instead.
  12. >”Rainbow? What’s wrong with you?”
  13. >That apparently, opened the floodgates.
  14. >It started with a snort, then a gasping giggle.
  15. >And then it devolved into a full on guffaw with spit, tears and snot.
  16. >You woulda been put out hadn’t it been for the fact that her voice cracking laughter was entirely too infectious and you started slowly giggling too.
  17. >And of course, that leaves purple princess looking at you two as if you’ve grown three heads and pinkie was cleaning out the leftmost heads ear.
  18. >”What is wrong with you two!?”
  19. >Oopsie, Twilight seems to be at the end of her patience.
  20. >After several seconds of dry heaving from Rainbow, you managed to get yourself together enough to talk
  21. “Well… It was an honest question”
  22. >You say defensively
  23. >Twilight just groans and face hoof's
  24.  
  25. >Rainbow get’s her head up on the table in front of you and manages to talk through several halting giggles.
  26. >”Aah. That was great. You saying that with a straight face, tied to a chair like that. Perfect!”
  27. >You snicker and give her a wink
  28. >You bold green bastard you
  29. >Twilight, now having finished with giving herself a face massage turns back to you two with a serious expression.
  30. >”Now, I’ve called you two guys here so-”
  31. “I got dragged against my will and tied to a chair, so I resent that”
  32. >”Ugh! Fine. I’ve called Rainbow here and tied you up so that you don’t go disappearing again like the last seven times.”
  33. “Thank you. Just wanting it clear”
  34. >”So! That you two can talk out whatever differences you have and I don’t have to go around feeling a disturbance in the friendship magic anymore”
  35. “Twilight. I am your father”
  36. >”What? No. No I don’t even want to know. You are to talk this out and neither of you are coming out until you do.”
  37. >Twilight promptly leaves the room, closes the exit and puts up some sort of shimmering magic field over the interior.
  38. >You look over at Rainbow, who is just looking after Twilight with a raised eyebrow.
  39. >”What’s her deal?” She asks, looking at you inquisitively.
  40. >You look back at her and give one of those universal “Fuck’d if I know” look.
  41. “Would you mind untying me? The ropes chafing”
  42. >Rainbow gets up and clops over to you, trying to undo the knot keeping you tied up.
  43. >It’s at her close proximity you promptly remember that you were scared for your life.
  44. >And now, she’s behind you.
  45. >Where you can’t see what she’s doing.
  46. >And she’s got a rope to strangle you with.
  47. >Sweat starting to accumulate on your brow as you hurriedly start stuttering out the first thing that comes to mind.
  48. “I AM SO SORRY I MESSED UP YOUR TRAINING! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I’LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT JUST PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DON’T KILL ME!”
  49. >Spaghetti level overflowing, reaching critical mass. Incoming noodle payload. Immediate evasive maneuvers recommended.
  50.  
  51. “I’LL EVEN PREEN YOUR WINGS!”
  52. >Evasive maneuvers failed. Abandon ship! I repeat! Abandon ship!
  53. … She’s going down sir. Any last statements?
  54. -Never did have a chance with that vessel anyway. Hopefully the next one will be inclined to listen to my advice-
  55. Not a chance in hell brain.
  56. -Ah well. One can dream-
  57. >Rainbow stopped fidgeting with the knot behind the chair and clopped around to look at you.
  58. >She’s got this “Wat” expression combined with “This guy needs medical attention”
  59. >”Are you okay? You know I wasn’t really that angry with you right? I mean, c’mon I got over that weeks ago! Is that why you’ve been running away full spring every time I flew by?”
  60. >Rainbow looks into the vacant expression on your face, confused by your stillness.
  61. >Eyes are glassed over.
  62. >Mouth hanging open in slack jawed expression.
  63. >”Hello~ Equestria to green dude! You okay in there?”
  64. -Is she talking to me?-
  65. Nope, pretty sure she’s talking to the conscious
  66. -Didn’t we give up on that guy?-
  67. Don’t ask me, I’m the one responsible for the feelings. Driving this thing is your job.
  68. -Fucking hell… Never appreciated-
  69. … Booting Consciousness ....
  70. !WARNING! Dangerous levels of shame and self disgust has contaminated the executable “Consciousness” Do you wish to proceed? Y/N
  71. -God dammit heart. Why are you making my job worse?-
  72. Dude. I’m just doing my job. He fucked up. He’s gotta feel the consequences.
  73. -I swear to God, one of these days I’m just shutting myself off and you can be a vegetable for all I care-
  74. ... Y …
  75. … Boot complete …
  76. “HOLY FLAMINGO WITH BALLERINA SKIRT!”
  77. >You are acutely aware of your surroundings.
  78. >You also want to dig a ditch and die in it.
  79. >Pretty sure your face has changed colors from green to red sometime in the past 10 seconds.
  80. >”Oookay. I’ll just get you out of that chair and you can be on your way. Sounds good? Great!”
  81. >Rainbow has abandoned the untying tactic and is not just straight out gnawing on the ropes
  82.  
  83. >You have the distinct impression she wants to get away from you as fast as humanly possible. Which, in retrospect isn’t all that fast, when she’s a pegasus.
  84. >As fast as pegasly possible?
  85. >Sounds off…
  86. ”I’m sorry, I think I just freaked out for a second there.”
  87. >There’s a snort from behind your chair
  88. >”You think? Don’t worry about it. I’ll get you loose, and I’ll be out of your mane or whatever.”
  89. >By the tone of her voice she sounds sorta upset.
  90. >That’s not what you want.
  91. >For one, she’s saved your life.
  92. >She might also end said life in a fit of rage
  93. >Better work this out. Somehow.
  94. ”I am really sorry about messing up your training back then”
  95. >You are talking with your voice so dripping in added guilt it’s liable to drown somebody.
  96. >”Seriously, don’t worry about it. I’ve talked to Twilight and heard how you weren’t in control of what was going on”
  97. >Rainbow had gotten you loose at this point and was standing in front of your chair again.
  98. >”In fact, I should be the one to apologize for yelling so much at you. From what I heard, you thought you were going to die”
  99. >Looking at her slightly guilty expression with her eyes averted and head slightly downcast sent a flutter through your chest.
  100. >You don’t know why, but it almost physically hurt to see her like this.
  101. >Damn ponies and their diabetes inducing cuteness
  102. “No Rainbow. It’s okay! You saved my life. I can’t ever thank you enough for that”
  103. >Snapping out of her funk so fast you almost got a whiplash she stands in a proud pose
  104. >”Ehehe, just being awesome as usual. You’re very welcome”
  105. >The cocky grin and with her wings splayed upwards makes her so adorable you can’t contain a snicker
  106. >”W-what? It’s true!”
  107. >Rainbow’s glaring at you with an indignant expression on her face
  108. “Yes, yes it is. I’m sorry Rainbow, you were just acting so adorable for a second there I couldn’t help myself”
  109. >Her wings flapping Rainbow stomps a hoof into the ground
  110. >”I’m not adorable!”
  111. >She promptly turns around and leaves the room.
  112. >That is, she tried to leave the room but slams headfirst into the unopenable door.
  113. >”Horseapples! Twilight! Open this door! We’re done!”
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