Thread 24: Stories 1-15

Thread 24 archive: http://archive.heinessen.com/mlp/thread/18016936
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>Applejack
"Celestia"
~~~~

>Tia? Got a question.

"And I have a hoof full of pain, deliver your and you shall receive naught but mine own offering."

>Jus' wonderin', why did ya'll almost let Sombra take over the Crystal Empire?

"Isn't it obvious? To test Twilight."

>Ain't that kind of dangerous?

"...No? Did you... did you forget I did it last time too? Without the elements, I should add."

>But what if he got a hold o' the crystal heart?

"...then he would be right back to where he was the last time it happened? He obviously had it then too."

>...Huh. But, uh what if he used it?

"Then he would explode."

>...Ah' just feel like that was kind of worrying.

"Okay, was he floating around going "Kiiiiillll" or "Slaaaaaavvvvveees"?"

>The latter.

"Which means killing ponies wasn't on the agenda. Which means that, worst case scenario here, absolute worst case scenario, Twilight fails, me and Luna shoot him again, and the day is saved but Twilight doesn't get to be a princess because she's not ready yet."

>...Fine, ya' win, point.

"Seriously, I had backup plans for Chrysalis, Discord and Tirek, what makes you think this one was special? Just to add to that, I WAS a backup plan on one of them."

>...That one didn't work out, though.

"Yeah, well... Shiny is pretty surprising, let's put it mildly."

>...

"...Oh, come on, you say it every other time, why won't you-"

>Any danger may have technically been yer' fault, but ya' had plans in place just in case, so ya' can be forgiven. Better?

"Oooohhh, yeah. That's the stuff."

>Enjoy it, don't feel like yer' gonna get too much o' those.

"Yeah, that's why I'm going to savor it... mmmm... yeah....better than cake..."

>...

"...Okay, maybe not that good."
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>32
"2"
'Arana'
[Twilight]
~~~
>Wasted away again in Prison-rita-ville-

"Hi, 32!"

>2? It's been too long!

"I know, I'm sorry, things have been crazy lately, but check out this crown Spike made for me! I can put marchmalleys on it, and it toasts them!"

>That IS pretty cool.

"also, I made a new friend!"

>Ah! I see how it is now! This new friend makes one forget so easily about me!

"Not at all! I brought her here too!- huh where is she?"

A silk scarf called on 32's shoulders

'In three... Two... Aaaaaaand one! Huh, that should have strangled you.'

"You ain' supposed to hurt 32, he's my friend!"

'Oooooh! Might want to take that off before it strangles you. In that case, wanna hug? I can give a lotta hugs at once compared ta 2.'

"I prefer to put quality into my hugs than quantity."

'Well then let's both hug him and see which he likes more!'

later...

[32, how did you get diabetes?]

>I regret nothing.
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>Chitania
"Conductor"
'Train passengers'
~~~~

>Are you fucking kidding me!?

"Hey lady, I'm just as confused as you! We were supposed to hit San Franciscolt two hours ago!"

>You can't do your fucking job enough to head us in the right direction!?

"I don't know what could have happened!"

>Give me one reason, one teeny tiny little reason I should not MAKE YOU HU-

'Oh wow!'

>WHAAAAT!?

'The Neighbraska corn festival is on! I thought it didn't start for a full week!'

'Oh wow, it's huge! I'm going to try one of everything!'

>...Corn festival?

"You okay?"

>Just this once, just once, I give unto you, forgiveness.

Wasting no time, she broke the door off the train on her way out, and hefted Mr Popcorn over her head.

>Bring unto me your kernels, for I am your new god!
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>Granny Smith
"Applejack"
'Big Mac'
~~~~

>An jus' what do ya'll think yer' doin' missy!?

"Granny, calm yer'self, Ah'm tryin' ta' get a better handle on this here magic dooserwhatsis."

>Yer' taintin' the apples with yer' unnatural pickin'!

'Actually, granny, bunch'a research has shown that telekinesis magic ain't leavin' any lastin' effects on crops or tha' like. It ain't no different than buckin'.'

>Hooey ta' that! Ah' see a whole bunch'a magic glowy bits on mah' apples, ain't no way that's natural!

"Fine, granny, Ah'll pay fer' these ones outta mah' paycheck and put it in mah' applecakes. Celly likes 'em."

>Ya' better! An' Ah' better see ya' buckin' some apples the right way a'for you leave here, don't you be gettin' lazy now jus' cause yer' a fancy shmanshy princess!

'Ain't no hope for her, Granny, she's part of the ruling class now.'

"Ya'll can go buck a damn and get soaked, ah'm every bit as much the applebucker Ah've ever been!... And Mac, ya' need ta' stop with that. It's makin' me look like an idiot."

'Ah' gotta stand by mah principals.'
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>Cadence
"18"
~~~~
>I know you've been working hard, so I made you some raisin cookies. <3

"...I thought you weren't allowed near ovens when Shining is away."

>I know what happened this time. I left the oven at titanium white degrees, instead of cobalt blue degrees, so they came out intact this time.

18 picks up cookie up.
"Well, I have to admit...there's a lot of love radiating from this, so I guess it'll provide me with a lot of nourishment at least."
Right as she's about it bite the cookie, she sees something shiny in it.

"...there are razors in this raisin cookie."
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>Igneous
"Cloudy"
'Pinkie'
-Limestone-
~Marble~
[SA]
~~~~~

>Must you leave so soon, daughter?

"Indeed, we liked having you around."

'Sorrry! Gotta help Somby do his thing! I'll be back soon enough I promise.'

-Don't forget to bring your new squeeze back too.-

~Oh yeah, and have him bring his first wife, mom wants to see what she's like.~

[Putting a 'first' in there was really unnecessary.]

'Stooooop it you guys! Eesh! Shiny, did Twilight ever tease you like this?'

[No, but only because she was terrible at it.]

-Hope someone here isn't terrible at "It", right?-

~Oh god, don't even go there. If dad's daddy sense went off, he'd level the entire area.~

[I sympathize.]

-No, we're not kidding, you hit that before you put a ring on it, and he WILL kill you. Our family is very... VERY insistent on this.-

[...I extra sympathize.]

>Told you he was better than that other fellow.

'DAAAAAAD!'

"And his wife looks like she knows a fair bit of tricks too, so at the very least her wedding night won't be boring."

'MOM! EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEW! YOU DID NOT!'

[Wow. Someone can actually get to Pinkie. I'm impressed.]

>The wonders of family. Take care, daughter.

"We love you."

'...I will you guys.'

-GROUP HUG!-

[Awww, that's sweet... makes me wish I was back home.]

'Oh! Hey, speaking of, you think we missed anything important?'

[...naaaah, probably nothing big.]

'Yeah, you're probably right. I mean, what're the odds, right?'

[Right.]

'...'

[...]

['LEAVING!']
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>Applejack
"Big Mac"
'???'
[???]
~~~~

>Ahhhh... Ah' might've... messed that up a bit.

"Yeeeeup."

>Now, don't give me that look, Ah didn't know that spell increased yer' strength, Ah' just thought it made yer' hooves steadier.

"..."

>...Ah' can't read this here fancy magic stuff all that well. It's like readin' one o' them Changelin' tablets.

"EEEEEeeeeyup."

>Ya'll don't know.

"....Nnnnope."

>Where do ya' think it's gonna land?

"....Eh."

~~~~~

'Oh! Thanks!'

[Thanks for what?]

'For the shade, it was really hot out here.'

[I'm not doing anything.]

'...SWITCH!'

[Pinkie, what the he-]

*BAM!*

'Sorry Shiny, but it was you or me! And I like me, I'm awesome!'

[...Ow....]
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>Chitania
"Locustana"
~~~~~~

>What the fuck were you thinking!?

"Destroy their crops, leave them in despair and sap out all their love?"

>...

"...Okay, yeah, part A of this plan had some serious issues with part B, but I mean, on the whole it was well executed."

>EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE!

"Which is what I wanted, yes."

>EVERYTHING! Even the ponies! AND YOUR SOLDIERS!

"Okay, part A and part B REALLY did not get along. They were at each others throats, I tell you."

>I just- the fire is a circle now! It's surrounding you! I'm going to have to collapse that entire hill JUST TO MAKE A PATH OUT! I'm going to have to reshape this fucking VALLEY just to clear up your mistake to KEEP US HIDDEN, put that together for a second, I have to do massive landscaping to hide us. This is required now.

"Well, I mean, I got something out of it."

>What!?

"We grabbed some of their crops. I think this one is called corn. We have a lot of corn."

>WE DON'T EAT CORN! IT CAN'T SUSTAIN US!

"Negative."

>Your stupidity hurts.

"Hey! Listen, I get enough flack for my brood coming from just a major businesspony as it is, I don't need you adding to that."

>Larvesta was laughing at you for months for not even managing a minor noble.

"I KNOOOOW! But I just wanted it out of the way, you know? Look, just smash us a way out, and I'll give you some corn."

>What could I possibly do with corn!? WHY WOULD ANYONE EVER WANT CORN!?

"Well, it's got this nice bumpy and long shape to it, I'd be more than happy to help you get o-"

>FOR FUCKS SAKE!

"...Seriously, are you a changeling? You are weird."

>SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I LEAVE YOU HERE!

"Fine, whatever... weirdo..."
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>Chrysalis
"Twilight"
'Spike'
~~~
>You know, when you invited me along to see some of your research, I was actually kind of hoping for something more exciting than more tomb raiding.

"Well, I just figured since you've shared plenty of your history with us, I should share some with you. Plus I feel like it's a good idea to open up my old case files on the Lock Box and the Old Everfree Castle."

>Yeah, but ponies are only interested in us changelings because you're all NEEEEEEEEEERDS!

'You know, I did tell you what we were going to do, you could have said 'no'.'

>Yeah, yeah. But I'm seriously starting to miss crazy old TWIENCE! with subway spackle anomalies, race cars, lasers, and arrow planes.

'Firstly, it's sub-space, secondly, it's Aeroplane.'

>How the hell could you even know I said that wrong? They're pronounced exactly the same, and what's the difference? I mean it's a bow and aero, right?

'Ugh...'

"Well, I'm sorry, but I am trying to reign things in, but if you look closely you'll find more traditional sciences and pony history just as fascin- DON'T STEP ON THAT IT'S A TRAP!"

Chrysalis freezes and blinks

>A trap you say, huh?

'Yeah, this old castle is loaded with booby traps for some reason, like Luna and Celestia were trying to play Ninja Warrior.'

>... WHEEEE!

Chrysalis dashes happily down the hall setting off every trap she can

"We have to stop her from hurting herself!"

'I prefer to sit back and let the scars of learning happen.'

>Hah! Celestia's traps suc-

WHAM!

>Ow... That one hur-

FWOOSH!

>Mighty fuck, how did flamethrowers exist back then and how did napalm?!

SCREEEEEEECH! CRASH!

>AH! RACE CARS!

BEEEEEAAAAAAM!

>AH! LASERS! LASERS!

Rrrrrrrrrrr-! Gatatataatata!

>ARROW PLANES!

'See? This is what she wanted, right?'

"I still gotta help her."

'You've gotten real soft, Twi!'

>AHHHHH! BEEES!

'Scars of learning..'

>AHHH! SPACE ALIENS!
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>Chrysalis
"Twi"
'Spike'
~~~
the group settles for the night in the old castle, passing the time before a fire

"The parents told the babysitter 'We don't have a statue in our backyard', she then dropped the phone and rushed up stairs, just in time to throw open the door and scream. When the parents returned home, the babysitter, their children, and the statue was nowhere to be found. The end."

>BOR-RING!

'Wow, it's like telling stories to Rainbow Dash.'

>Not my fault the story was predictable and sucked, and not even in the way I'd like to do to Shin-

"THEN YOU TELL ONE."

>Alright, this is a good one, get ready to stain your sheets... THIS IS THE STORY OF A DAY WHERE THERE WAS ALL THIS BLOOD. A MARE WAS WALKING AROUND AND BLOOD STARTED COMING OUT OF HER EVERYWHERE. SHE TRIED TO GO SWIMMING AND ALL OF THE SHARKS WENT CRAZY. SHE GOT CHASED BY ALL THE VAMPIRES. WHEN SHE WENT TO THE STORE PEOPLE WERE SLIPPING IN ALL THE BLOOD AND THEY LOOKED AT IT AND THREW UP. ONE TIME THE BLOOD GOT A FOAL AND A DOG. AT THE END OF THE DAY EVERYONE DECIDED THEY WOULD SEND HER TO SPACE FOREVER. THE SCARYEST PART IS THAT THE MARE WAS YOU!!! AND YOU FORGOT THAT THIS HAPPENED.

Facepalms all around

>What? That was a masterpiece!

'mind if I try?'

>Pfft, if you think you can top that, lizardo

'Okay, lemme tell you a story. A mare went hiking along the Appleachian Trail. For 2000 miles of loneliness she hiked, with nothing more than her bedroll and her backpack for company. Every night she would camp, sleep and continue on. She traveled this lonely trail for months. When she returned home and developed the rolls of film on her camera, they were full of pictures of her, sleeping on her bedroll. Night after night. For months.'

Twilight is shivering

chrysalis stares blankly

>I don't get it.
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>Twilight
"Chrysalis"
~~~~~

>Chrysalis!

"GAH WHAT THE HELL!? How did you get in here!?"

>No time for that!

"I am in the shower, make time!"

>None to make! Look!

"...Not seeing what-"

>Okay, I was researching that Queen you told me about, Necrophorus?

"How, she wasn't known-"

>Of course she wasn't known! But her effects were! Okay, so, during this timeframe in the small coastal town, a bunch of strange things started occurring all around the beach area. Notably, a huge surge of gold!

"Uh huh..."

>Only thing is, the gold all mysteriously vanished one day, just gone without a trace. So I thought, maybe...

"...Yeah, that sounds about right."

>It does!?

"Well, yeah. That was her thing. Bet that gold didn't vanish as so much turn into rocks or something. See, ponies tend to feel a LOT of love and happiness when they hit a pile of gold. She probably just sapped them while they didn't even know it."

>So, that's why!

"That's why what?"

>Obviously, they tested the gold to make sure it wasn't made via unicorn magic, but it all came up negative. But it still felt and worked like real gold!

"Duh, our disguise magic has to work like that. If I looked like Cadence but when you poked me you felt chitin, how long would a species that fed on affection stay hidden? Our magic makes us look, smell and feel like whoever we're replicating."

>...

"...Yes, those parts too."

>Okay, did not need that but I guess it will be useful for future science. So-

"So yeah, she could do the same thing, but to rocks or dirt or sand. One minute rock, next BOOM! Gold chunk. One minute concrete, next minute it's as soft as soil. Made digging holes or scamming others a breeze. Who knows, if she hadn't been so stupid her hive might still be kicking today..."

>...I'm sorry.

"Don't be, she was a spoiled little shit. Thought she was bigger than she was. Deserved what she got."

>Still...

"...Did you just want confirmation?"

>Oh, uh... yeah, wanted to make sure I was working with the right Changeling.

"Well, she would have been around that area, and that does seem like her powers. So, I guess yeah, that's probably her."

>Thank you. This means a lot.

"...It's just a dead Queen, Twilight."

>Maybe... yeah...

"...Your book is going to get wet."

>Waterproofed it. I love my books.

"Pft, course you do. Nerd."

>I am.... well, thanks.

"...Huh, is that what it's like to be Shiny? Friggen... crud in my hair."

But unbeknownst to the Queen, Twilight had the widest of smiles on her face.

For that had not been the end of the knowledge she had learned, not by a long shot. She hadn't mentioned to the Queen yet that this was no mere finding of gold. The town had been completely devastated by a storm, leaving them with very little left and no means to get anymore food. Them stumbling upon the gold had meant they could buy nourishment, housing supplies, all sorts of necessities. By the time the gold faded, their economy had stabilized, and they could thrive again. Neigh Orleans would never have formed from that town without it.

Maybe... maybe she could help them. Maybe she could show people Changelings aren't monsters. Maybe...

Maybe science and research could make the world a better place, after all.
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>Spike
"Twilight"

Spike sighs before entering the subspace anomaly that was Twilights lab. He wasn't quite sure what exactly he would find, but he was confident that he at least had his mother/sister/best friend back.

>I've really gotta get that figured out one of these days.

Upon entering, Spike noticed that Twilight had been redecorating. The gaudy decorations and posters were gone, for which Spike thanked Celestia's mom for, but it also appeared smaller and less cluttered. And a guardrail had finally been installed. Impossible gadgets no longer littered the place at random and the weapons testing facility was completely gone. At the center of it all, Twilight sat at a simple desk taking notes. She wore a simple brass and steel crown.

>How ya doin Twilight?

"Oh, hey Spike. Sorry I haven't been out much. Had to clean up around here.

>I see, you've done some redecorating. Seems safer, that's nice I guess. Still, doesn't really seem Twi. Want me to throw up some bookshelves?

"Heh, already got a spot picked out."

"Thanks Spike"

>Ah, it's nothing. Just a little piece I hammered out for smithing practice.

"No, not that. I mean, yes that but also staying with me. Even when I wasn't."

>Yeah, well, you gotta protect your friends, right? Even if it's from themselves. I mean, where would I be if you didn't slap my claw from time to time when I get grabby?

"Telling you 'no' sometimes is hardly the same potentially picking a fight with Chrysalis. Or putting up with me being a complete ditz."

>A pony that I kinda look up to once said, "We've learned that friendship isn't always easy. But there's no doubt it's worth fighting for." What can I say, sucker for that kinda thing.

"You really are the best. It's just, I hurt so many ponies. Running away from it just hurt everyone more, how do I make up for something like this? How can I make this better?

>Well, in my case I tried to avoid killing anyone I didn't absolutely have to and just do better from then on. Also got a hobby. And then there was that one most important thing of all.

"Friends..."

>You, Rarity, Applejack, 77, Shiny, PotatoeJack, even Diamond Tiara. Honest the whole list would take way to long. Let's just say I've had a lot of help. And there's a lot of ponies willing to help you too, but only if you let them.

Twilight smiles "Why do I feel like I've heard this all before."

Spike returns the grin

>No idea, just some stuff I overheard one time. Well, my break will me over soon. Back to pushing papers. I need to run some expense reports on some damaged utility pipes to AJ.

"Number one assistant Spike, on the job. Oh, before you go, since I downsized in here a little and squeezed another percent efficiency out of the reactor a little power was freed up, so I left you a little something in your room. I hope you like it.

>Thanks Twi

~~~~~~~Later that night~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>When she said she left something in my room I didn't figure it would be more room. Ah, a note.

"Spike, hope you like the extra floor space. A proper bathroom is included. Since I had some extra power, I went ahead and made sure you had walls and everything. Again, thank you spike

"P.S. Make sure you don't damage the walls. You wouldn't want to see what's behind them. Seriously, bad stuff. Don't do it."

>That's my Twi, you look those cosmic horrors in the eye and tell em whose boss. So, proper bathroom, eh?

>Hell Yeah! Lava hot tub!

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>DT
"SS"
'Filthy Rich'
~~~~~~

>So then I said "NO! You can't use NQTBDRLBHSG! He's not ready yet!"

"You're just making gargling noises at this point."

>No! His name is Not Quite The Best Damn Rocket Launcher But He's Still Good.

"Your naming sucks."

>If I wanted your opinion, I'd pay for it!

"I'm willing to give it for free."

>Maybe I don't want free.

"Your dad is going to be heartbroken."

>I'll just say I'm never planning to marry.

'I want grandkids.'

>DAD!

'Not before you're married, obviously... and not to that little changeling that likes butts. I think he's going to grow up to be a rapist.'

>Don't imply my mortal enemy was ever even an option!

"Is he still?"

>Yes!... Really embarrassing to have him walking around so much when I wanted him dead for so long.

'Silver Spoon, will you be staying over again tonight?'

"If that's okay."

'Of course! Always happy to have you here. I'll set another plate at the table....'

>...We need to hang out more.

"Right? Keep worrying you're going to spiral into madness and marry your rocket launcher."

>NO GOING THROUGH MY DI-...

"..."

>...A-hem. Yes. Hang out.... indeed...

"..."

>...Not a word.
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>Chitania
"Geeridia"
~~~~~

>I'm going to leave you there.

"CHITANIA!"

>No, seriously, you go to tartarus.

"COME ON!"

>You go right to tartarus and you fuck the pointiest spire.

"CHITANIA PLEASE!"

>I do not know what you were thinking, but that you thought it at all means this world will be happier place without you in it.

"CHITTTTYY!"

>I really hate it when you assholes call me that.

"CHITTY I CAN'T SWIM!"

>And you think I can!? How did you even get on a fucking island in the middle of the ocean!?

"We stowed aboard a ship and took it over!"

>And!?

"...We do not know how to drive a ship."

>Oh for the love of...

"Just come out here and get us!"

>How!?

"Hijack a ship!"

>I can't drive a ship!

"I just need you to tell us which was is land so we can fly home! I don't know which way is land!

>...Fucking... fine. I'll get there eventually.

"Take your time, there's a nice resort town here."

>...And you never thought to ask which way land is?

"...Oh! Now that you mention it-"

~~~~

Miles and miles away, the other Queen blinked in confusion.

Strange, the call was cut, but she swears she hears screaming...
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"Today, each hive is nomadic, each hive is small, seldom more than three thousand strong. Each one has their own culture, myth, and memories of times gone by. The swarm is only united by the residual will of imperial hive.

Once long ago, and this much is agreed, a mighty empire stood with a single queen. An empress, actually, her will absolute. Drones, soldiers, and spies alike yielded or moved with a wave of her hoof.

And then, a great tragedy fell, and then came the great divide, how this happened is a debate for another time. (As each hive as their own myths, theories, and beliefs on how and why)

But the great question is set before, why and how we came to be. This is a question that baffles gryphons, dragons, and ponies.

"But not us!" Said the Hive of Power! "We are cast down from our rightful place, but will not be forever! We are the true gods of this land, and heretics looked on us with green eyes, so they blighted us, banished us with betrayal and lies!"

"That cannot be" said the Immortal Clans, with the ability to survive greater than what mere chitin could withstand. "Our origins are such: we grew from the earth like all life and rose from the ocean after it cut us free from stone. We share this world, but we do not own."

The Deceivers whispered from the shadows and the dark: "Those origins are meaningless, what matters is how from ponies we were set apart. Long ago we learned a secret of magic arts, now we know too much. It's not in our heads, but our blood, with this secret only queens we can trust."

"Perhaps we just are?" suggested The Abominations and Pariah. "As a race we are alpha and omega."

These myths and more would warred until the Plague Winds blew. What does it matter now what we were when we struggle to build anew?"

-The Introduction (and currently only found piece of) of The Anthology of The Weaver One*, translated by Princess Twilight Sparkle with the help of Queen Chrysalis and Arana. Recovered from the tunnels beneath the Everfree Castle outside of Ponyville

*The Weaver One is thought to have been some manner of archivist or rogue Changeling from Sciderella's hive research suggests it is one of possibly dozens of pages woven into spider-silk pages with powerful acids which etched the words, making it perhaps the first true book penned by a changeling. -Princess Twilight Sparkle

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