Lori starts a cult

>The loud living room was filled with even more people than usual.
>Several men, four or five women, Clyde...
>All prostrated in supplication to Lori.
>Lincoln was observing from the stairwell.
>"Two weeks ago, Lori started charging people to worship her by the hour"
SSSHHHHHHHHH
>"At first I thought it was a joke but now I don't get it."
>"Thanks to literally everyone for coming out here tonight. You're all literally the best."
>"Should I be worried?"
>Clyde, the high priest of the cult clad in stolen crimson sheets, stepped forward with his head bowed low.
>"Oh beautiful and magnificent Lori, what is your command for us, your lowly servants?"
>"I have literally no idea. Go and like the selfies I took earlier?"
>Over a dozen smartphones flicked out, the cultists feverishly searching and liking every photo they could.
>Lori's phone started to ding off the hook.
>"Lori, sweetie, could you take out the trash?"
>Before she could move, a cultist had already started hauling the can out.
>Lori simply watched.
>These guys had never been so willing to help before tonight.
>And they paid her 18 bucks an hour to do it.
>A devilish smile cut across her face.
>How far were they willing to go?

>"This is the worst treatment I have ever gotten. The worst. Liar Lori should be ashamed of herself. This is a shame to every-"
>The police car door shut off the President's complaints of unfairness.
>Lori gave a sarcastic wave goodbye.
>It had only been a month since she started this joke.
>And now, she was in charge of the country.
>She turned to a sea of crimson robes.
>"So, uh, I guess I'm literally the president now?"
>The robes bowed down.
>"All hail the god-empress!"
>Lori was taken aback at first.
>Then the smile came back.
>It was time to enjoy herself.

>"My name's Lori Loud, and I'm literally going to be giving another sermon today."
>It was the hour of prayer, and Lori was live on television.
>"You know those stupid coal plants? Those ones that literally kill the planet?"
>It had been a year since Lori's forces took their jihad global, killing anyone who didn't willingly convert.
>They didn't have to kill very many people.
>"Yeah, decommission literally all of them. I want to convert to using literally only solar and wind power."
>Lori herself had become the walking incarnation of the divine.
>"And stop being racist to people. It literally makes me look bad."
>Untouchable.
>"I literally shouldn't have to say this."
>Unapproachable.
>"Oh, and today is literally my little sister Luna's birthday. So we're all taking a break for cake tonight."
>Unstoppable.

>Lori blinked.
>Her phone buzzed with random mewlings of love from Bobby and assorted girly things.
>Back to reality.
>Quick refresh of her social media confirmed it.
>The twitter account had maybe thirty followers.
>A joke that went on thirty minutes too long.
>Her thumb hovered over the deactivate button.
>Lori decided against it.
>After all, it was just a joke.