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- Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #279
- March 19th, 2001
- The Opening Word:
- WCW is dead.
- I wish I could be shocked or outraged or overly saddened to say that, but I
- can't. It's been too long in coming. I feel like the guy in disaster movies
- who keep saying there's a calamity coming, but no one believes him. Then,
- rather than feeling smug about being right when it all goes down, the guy
- rolls up his sleeves and helps pull survivors out of the rubble. Smug I
- won't be either, but I haven't decided yet if I have the will to keep on
- going now that everything has fallen apart.
- Come Tuesday, March 27th, WCW as we know it will cease to exist. Thunder has
- been canceled after this coming Wednesday, and Nitro will air for the final
- time on TNT on March 26th.
- The long and short of what killed WCW is AOL Time Warner has decided to no
- longer air professional wrestling on their networks. That decision
- officially killed the previous ongoing negotiations by Fusient Media
- Ventures to buy the company. Without the cable TV timeslots guaranteed, all
- anyone buying WCW would be getting is a name on a piece of paper.
- Right now that name isn't worth anything.
- There is an effort being made on the part of Fusient to secure a deal with
- FOX to air wrestling, probably either on the fX network or FOX Sports. If
- that deal can be made then they MAY buy the rights to the WCW name, figuring
- the brand name of WCW will give their new wrestling promotion a better
- chance at succeeding.
- There are also RUMORS that the WWF or someone else may step in and offer to
- buy WCW, but like Fusient they would merely be buying the rights to the
- name. Somebody could try to make a deal to continue Nitro on TBS, but that's
- a longshot, and if the WWF buys it they would be just doing so to stage an
- "interpromotional feud" between the two companies.
- The question all these potential suitors will be asking themselves in the
- days to come is "is it worth it to buy the WCW name?" As it stands now most
- everyone who can be released outright by WCW will be. WCW may retain a few
- of the top names in hopes of using them as leverage to sell the company
- name, but if no buyer comes forward they will be forced to buy out (or try
- to, anyway) the contracts of those top stars. Anyone wanting to sign a Hulk
- Hogan or Goldberg or Scott Steiner needn't buy WCW. All they need to do is
- wait for WCW to breath its last breath, then sign the free talent. (That's
- what the WWF did with ECW.) The WWF could sign all those guys and stage a
- WCW "invasion". They just have to decide if it's worth it to pay a few
- million to be able to say "WCW" on their TV. Being realistic, it probably
- isn't.
- There's no real incentive for anyone to buy WCW except to own the name. That
- way when they start their new company they can claim it's really a
- continuation of the previous company, the same way Ted Turner did when he
- originally bought it from Jim Crockett in 1989, claiming that NWA history
- all the way back to 1905 or whenever. Wrestling fans may amuse themselves in
- debating whether it'll be the same WCW or not, but what does it really
- matter--the point is WCW as we know it has died.
- Where do we begin in sorting through the rubble? The first sad fact to
- absorb is that after more than two decades there will no longer be any
- wrestling on a Turner-owned network. Mull that over. There's not much to add
- to that. It's maybe the saddest part of all this.
- WCW going under has turned the entire wrestling world upside-down. The WWF
- is now the lone name remaining in the business. There is no other promotion
- anywhere in the world close to challenging their position in the industry.
- The upside for the WWF from here on out is that they have a monopoly on the
- business. The downside, and it's a pretty big one, is that they have zero
- competition to fuel their business. Without competition it's going to be
- next to impossible to keep from reaching a point where fans will declare the
- product stale. Unless the WWF can luck upon an angle or character that
- captures the public's imagination, there is really nowhere for them to go
- but down.
- Vince McMahon has finally become the undisputed King of Wrestling, but it's
- of a kingdom that's going to shrink day by day.
- What happens to all the wrestlers now on the market? The WWF already has a
- full roster, and has just signed several former ECW wrestlers. Now they have
- the entire WCW roster to deal with. Who do they pick up, and who already in
- the WWF is going to be let go to make room for them? I'm sure the WWF isn't
- going to complain, but there's going to be a lot of fans out there of
- certain wrestlers who are going to be waiting in vain for them to ever reach
- the top of the ladder.
- One would have to say the odds are good that a new company will rise from
- the ashes of WCW. If Eric Bischoff and Fusient don't do it, someone else
- will. But will that company succeed? The odds are pretty slim. More likely
- there will be a number of challengers to come and go before the WWF sinks to
- a level where they will be vulnerable to someone out there with a new, fresh
- approach to the business.
- History will repeat itself. It's not just a cliche to say wrestling is by
- its nature a cyclical business. The WWF will fall, someone else will rise,
- and some day the battle will begin anew.
- So the countdown begins for the end of this Monday Night Recap that I do. I
- honestly can't say how much longer I'll be interested in doing it. Come
- April 2nd it'll no longer be a "Monday Night Recap", but a "RAW is WAR
- Recap". If Eric Bischoff can get a new group started soon, or the WWF does
- stage a "feud" with WCW, that might be enough to keep me around for a while,
- but I can't see myself writing just about the WWF forever.
- For those few who are hoping against all odds that this is all part of some
- grand work on WCW's part to swerve the fans into thinking the company is
- dead, and that the reality is that the deal was secretly completed and will
- be revealed at the last hour, all I can say is this ... if that were to be
- the case, then I'm done with them. Period. I can't imagine spending a second
- more of my life devoting attention to a company so willing to lie to its
- fans for the sake of getting an angle over. I can stand being worked, and
- I've been lied to before, but just thinking about how deep this lie would
- have had to have been on WCW's part makes me sick. It's not as if the
- average wrestling fan out there in the real world has been picking up the
- newspaper or turning on their TV set and following this story (until this
- week, anyway). This is something that Internet fans almost solely have been
- privy to. For this to be an angle means WCW has looked us squarely in the
- face and said "we do not care about or want you as a fan of our product." It
- would be a betrayal, and an unprecedented amount of disrespect leveled at a
- specific group of fans. Perhaps that was why I disliked Nitro so much last
- week: knowing that the WCW bookers were taking such a serious matter and
- turning it into a stupid, pointless angle to boost ratings. Most WCW fans
- have no idea what the company is talking about when they say "the new
- owners" on TV. Internet fans do, and that angle last week was specifically
- meant to draw us in, then pull the rug out from underneath us. It raised the
- notion that the disaster about to befall WCW was really an angle.
- But, sadly, WCW's demise is not an angle. It's all too real.
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- WCW Monday Nitro:
- Live/Taped: Live.
- Length: Two Hours.
- Location: Gainesville, Florida.
- Hosted By: Tony Schiavone & Scott Hudson.
- HOUR ONE:
- - Taps plays, as a picture of Diamond Dallas Page is shown, superimposed
- over footage of a trailer park.
- - The announcers have been informed that Eric Bischoff will be phoning into
- the show later to make a huge announcement. Why do I have an image in my
- head of Slim Pickens sitting on a bomb and yelling "whaa-hoo!"?
- - Scott Steiner, Midajah, Ric Flair & Animal hit the ring. Steiner says the
- usual about putting DDP out like all the others. Flair then says he and
- Jeff Jarrett won their match at the PPV, and that he's waiting for Dusty
- Rhodes to kiss his ass. Tony Schiavone assures the fans that Flair &
- Jarrett actually lost that match. Dusty & Dustin Rhodes appear on the big
- screen. Dusty says he talked to someone earlier and that person is ...
- Booker T, who comes out and immediately rips off one of Chris Jericho's
- catchphrases. Steiner makes a crack about beating Booker so bad he forget
- where his barber shop is. Booker says he came back to WCW to win the
- World Title, and that he's been talking to "The Man", who will have
- something to say to Steiner about it in an hour. The announcers assume he
- means Bischoff. You know, Ric Flair used to be "The Man". How goddamn
- wonderful that Bischoff was able to take away yet something else from
- Flair.
- - Footage from after the PPV of DDP being loaded into an ambulance.
- - This week Buff Bagwell has a cameraman running the Buff-Cam. He and
- Animal think Lex Luger is behind the mystery attacks on the Magnificent
- 7. The cameraman is ordered to follow Luger around.
- - DISQO INFERNO (w/ Mike Sanders) vs. JASON JETT
- Nice to see a regular on the booking committee get some TV time on the
- next-to-last Nitro. Sanders is now Disqo's "best friend", and looks about
- as pleased with that as you'd imagine. Jett, I'm not wild about those red
- garters of his, but this guy rocks in the ring. Lots of great, innovative
- offense. By the time he gets the pin he's actually gotten the crowd into
- the match.
- - The Buff-Cam snoops on Flair & Jarrett, and after a few moments of not
- being able to hear what they're saying, the cameraman says we shouldn't
- be seeing this.
- - "Sugar" Shane Helms comes out to his new big entrance. He's wearing black
- trunks and white boots now, and looks about ten times better than he did
- in those baggy 3 Count pants. He challenges Billy Kidman to a match,
- saying he needs to prove to himself and everyone that he's better than
- him. Helms needs a lot of work behind the mic.
- "SUGAR" SHANE HELMS vs. BILLY KIDMAN
- A second really good match, which Helms wins after a brutal Vertebreaker
- knocks Kidman senseless. I don't think that's just selling there. Helms
- dropped him right on his head. Chavo Guerrero does a run in, followed by
- Elix Skipper & Kid Romeo. Rey Mysterio makes the save, and a very wobbly
- Kidman helps out as much as he can. Billy looks pretty messed up--he
- actually collapses in the corner and the camera gets off him quick.
- - Next week's Nitro is being billed as the "season finale". Whatever.
- - The Buff-Cam finds Luger laid out. And the plot sickens ...
- - Bam Bam Bigelow would like another crack at Shawn Stasiak.
- - Luger has no idea who laid him out.
- - SHAWN STASIAK (w/ Stacy Kiebler) vs. BAM BAM BIGELOW
- Stacy comes out before the match and pouts because she didn't like the
- fan reaction. Vince should sign this girl, because she's got legs.
- Talent! I mean, talent. I'm guessing this is pretty close to their PPV
- match, except this time when Stacy's bottle of hairspray gets involved
- Bam Bam gets it. He tosses it to Stasiak, then plants him with the
- Greetings From Asbury Park. Stasiak immediately begins whining about the
- loss, saying Bigelow cheated. End result: a rematch next week, and if
- Bigelow wins again he gets to tattoo something on Stacy. Scratch
- that--tattoo something on Stasiak. Who cares?
- - A table has been set up in the ring by the Red Rooster. Scott Steiner
- comes out. Booker T comes out. After the setup and a delay, we are
- greeted by Eric Bischoff via telephone. Bischoff's "huge announcement"
- turns out to be that he and his investors have encountered some "brick
- walls" in their attempts to buy WCW, and that while he still has the
- ability to do so (huh?), he's making Nitro next week a "Night of
- Champions". Every title will be on the line, capped off by a Title vs.
- Title match between Steiner and Booker T. Since next week's show is
- pretty much the end, Bischoff invites any past WCW Champion to join them
- on the show, and that they should bring their gear and be prepared to
- wrestle. Bischoff then notes his rocky relationship with Ric Flair
- (asshole), and advises Flair it would be in his best interest to kiss
- Dusty's ass. Bischoff himself will be on the show next week, meaning
- those deluded few who still think this is all an angle will continue to
- do so for another week. I mean, there's hoping for the best and all that,
- but c'mon ...
- HOUR TWO:
- Steiner and Booker T sign the contract for the match next week, and of
- course a fight breaks out, Steiner whacking Booker in the knee with his
- lead pipe. About twenty security guys then run in, one at a time, and
- Steiner takes them all out, chokeslamming the last one through the table.
- Booker T then comes back, pipe-bashed knee just fine, and he sends
- Steiner packing.
- - Another backstage moment with the Buff-Cam. The Steiners are becoming the
- main suspects in the Magnificent 7 attacks. Call me stupid, but what
- subatomic plot point did I miss that established it MUST be a member of
- the Magnificent 7 responsible for these attacks? Aren't DDP, Kevin Nash,
- Goldberg, Sting, Hulk Hogan, and any of a hundred other people more
- likely suspects? And why are we wasting so much time on this angle when
- WCW is but five hours of TV time away from ceasing to exist? It's like
- it's time to say goodbye, but WCW's still trying to figure out who the
- Hummer driver was.
- - KANYON vs. M.I. SMOOTH
- Kanyon pins Smooth following a run-in by Animal, Ernest "The Cat" Miller
- coming out too late to stop it. Traditional setup for a tag team match on
- Thunder (boy, doesn't that make you want to watch).
- Dustin Rhodes brings Dustin a big plate of burritos. See, he's going to
- eat them, which will cause him to fart a lot, maybe even shit himself,
- and Ric Flair's gonna have to kiss his ass. Between this and Rikishi
- there's just too much fixation on big, smelly asses in wrestling right
- now. By the way, they've already said "ass" on this show (unbleeped) more
- than on a year's worth of any WWF show.
- - RICK STEINER vs. KONNAN
- Konnan dresses like a 70 year old man. Ugly, slow match which doesn't
- amount to anything when a run-in by Shane Douglas brings about a DQ, him
- hitting Steiner with a cast on his arm. Hugh Morrus comes out to help
- Konnan. God, Morrus vs. Rick Steiner either on Thunder, or Nitro next
- week.
- - The M7 boys bust in on Rick Steiner and accuse him of being behind the
- attacks. Rick isn't amused. Ooh ... he called Bagwell "Mark". It's a
- shoot!
- - Lance Storm (with Mike Awesome in the background) delivers an interview
- to a indeterminate point to the immediate left of the camera.
- - Another commercial?
- - Flair's not gonna kiss Dusty's ass. Jarrett is sick of hearing about
- it. I'm sick too, because the goddamn cameraman can't hold the friggin'
- camera still.
- - MIKE AWESOME/LANCE STORM vs. CHUCK PALUMBO/SEAN O'HAIRE
- What is so frustrating about the death of WCW is that they've had the
- talent, like the guys in this match, to do great matches and angles and
- storylines and such, but so often they were misused. Just think back to
- how many times Storm and Awesome have had to feud with the likes of
- "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan, the Misfits in Action, and Ernest Miller. So now
- the company is dead and what do they do? Throw four of the better workers
- in the company together, and damned if they don't deliver a great match.
- I don't know if I've ever seen Chuck Palumbo look better in the ring.
- Awesome pins Palumbo following a chairshot and running Awesomebomb. This
- could have been a great feud, but instead we had to sit through Palumbo &
- O'Haire feuding with Luger & Bagwell, the payoff to that being a temper
- tantrum thrown by aging stars, and their refusing to even wrestle the
- guys at the PPV. They basically just laid down and let them pin them.
- Luger & Bagwell, I hope I never see them in a wrestling ring again. These
- four guys, though, I hope they can make it into the WWF.
- - Ric Flair & Jeff Jarrett hit the ring. Dustin then comes out, followed by
- Dusty, leading a white mule with "Dusty's Ass" written on its rear. Ah,
- the ass ate the burritos, and Flair is supposed to kiss the ass' ass.
- Ass. Ass, ass, ass. ASS. Oh yeah ... ass. Flair tries to make Jarrett do
- it, they get into a staged shaving match, attacking Dustin, which draws
- Dusty to the ring to do the Flip Flop Fly and such. All four end up down
- the aisle where the ass awaits, and Flair & Jarrett's faces are shoved
- into the ass.
- And so goes the last remaining shred of Ric Flair's dignity, much to the
- delight, I'm sure, of Eric Bischoff. Asshole.
- But at least he kept his pants on ...
- - This Wednesday: The Final Thunder.
- - Next week: Spring Break-Out. Season Finale. Night of Champions. The End
- Comments:
- One down, one to go.
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- WWF RAW is WAR:
- Live/Taped: Live.
- Length: Two Hours+.
- Location: Albany, New York.
- Hosted By: Jim Ross & Paul Heyman.
- WWF RAW:
- - After a highlights package, we see the Rock awaiting the arrival of
- "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
- - THE BIG SHOW vs. RAVEN
- It's squash city for Raven, until Kane comes out to tangle with the Big
- Show (legal because the Hardcore Title is on the line). Kane eventually
- levels Big Show with a flying clothesline, and Raven covers for the pin,
- regaining the Hardcore belt. Raven runs away. Why haven't we seen Tori
- since she was unmasked as the Ninja Woman on Heat a few weeks ago?
- Shane McMahon is in the back.
- Jonathan Coachman tells the Rock that Austin's plane has been delayed.
- The Rock orders the Coach to go to the airport and tell Austin that he's
- waiting for him.
- - Shane McMahon makes his way to the ring. There he talks about his father
- Vince, and how he grew up watching him do whatever he wanted, regardless
- of the consequences. Until recently Shane was close to his father. People
- like Steve Austin, the Rock, Mick Foley and Ted Turner have all tried to
- stop Vince, but failed. He brings up the Bob Costas interview, and the
- line there by Vince about Bob wanting to play, and how Vince was ready to
- play. Well, Shane says he's ready to play too, and challenges Vince to a
- match at WrestleMania! Shane has a contract all ready to sign.
- Here comes Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley. She begs Shane to reconsider. The
- family already has enough problems. Shane should think about his
- inheritance.
- Vince McMahon & Trish Stratus join the party. Vince asks Shane what kind
- of human being he is to challenge his own father? He says Shane has
- challenged him before. Vince sends Trish down to the ring to fetch the
- contract. Once he has it he looks it over, signs it, then suggests they
- get it on right there. Shane doesn't exactly play the smartest McMahon,
- as we go through the expected advancement by Vince, the staredown, Vince
- taking off his jacket--all to set up a run-in from behind by Triple H.
- Triple H stomps on Shane. Vince suddenly stops him, only to order him to
- give his son the Pedigree! "I will never, EVER forgive your mother for
- giving birth to you!" Vince says he's going to wheel the comatose Linda
- McMahon to ringside at WrestleMania so she can watch Vince kick her son's
- ass. It's going to be so cool when she gets up out of that chair, Vince
- gulps, and she does whatever to help Shane win that match.
- - For the love of god, they're still beating Shane up outside. Triple H
- bounces him around like a ping pong ball, eventually tossing him in the
- back seat of a limo. Shane hangs his head out the window. Vince then lays
- in a chairshot that catches more car roof than Shane's head.
- - THE HARDY BOYZ (w/ Lita) vs. EDGE & CHRISTIAN
- The story here is that the Dudley Boyz were supposed to get the title
- shot, but they're apparently on the same delayed flight as Steve Austin.
- Edge & Christian offer to fill the slot, and quickly the match is
- underway. In short order it looks like the Hardyz are going to win this
- one, with Edge falling victim to both a Twist of fate and Swanton Bomb.
- Suddenly, out of the crowd, ECW Heavyweight Champion Rhino runs in and
- gores Jeff Hardy! The ref, bumped a bit earlier, recovers as Edge makes
- the cover. Edge, Christian & Rhino celebrate on the ramp. Paul Heyman is,
- of course, going nuts, while Jim Ross is all like "what the HELL?!" Man,
- Rhino is a little guy. He looked like a monster in ECW, but here he's
- smaller than Christian!
- The Undertaker roars through the back on his bike, black coattails
- billowing behind him like giant bat wings. Cool.
- - Edge & Christian tell their buddy Rhino (wearing an ECW t-shirt) to go
- back to the hotel. Rhino--it looks like his character isn't going to be
- too bright. He's got kind of a Sabu/George "The Animal" Steele thing
- going on.
- - WWF commissioner William Regal, escorted by four policemen, serves a
- restraining order on the Undertaker, barring him from getting within 25'
- of Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley. Is this because he kidnapped her once?
- Ugh--I hate "restraining order" angles.
- - An update from the airport informs us that Austin's plane will arrive
- shortly after Nitro is over.
- - William Regal--remarkably relaxed in his office in the minute or so
- that's passed since we saw him talking to the Undertaker--has a talk with
- Triple H. The Game would like to kick some ass tonight. Regal suggests
- Chris Jericho, but Triple H suggests Test, as a way of revenge for the
- besmirchment Regal suffered in losing the European Title to him. Regal
- agrees.
- - Now it's Triple H's turn to get around quickly, as he's off in a hallway
- somewhere talking to the Big Show, suggesting that the way to get back at
- Kane is to get the Undertaker.
- - STEVEN RICHARDS (w/ Right To Censor) vs. TAZZ
- No match to speak of, as the other RTC members interfere, then the match
- is brought to a screeching halt when the Rock suddenly comes out charging
- the ring. The RTC members are dispatched, as is Tazz, who eats a
- spinebuster. The Rock grabs a mic and throws out a few comments directed
- at Stone Cold. Between that, and his laying out Tazz, the Rock comes off
- pretty much as a heel here, so maybe he's doing the turn for
- WrestleMania.
- - The Coach bumps into the Dudley Boyz, who have just arrived at the
- airport. It seems somebody messed with their reservations and they ended
- up on a late flight. They're gone before the Coach can tell them they
- already missed their titleshot.
- WWF WAR ZONE:
- - TRIPLE H (w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley) vs. TEST
- The match is barely underway when the Undertaker comes out onto the
- stage. As he's staring at Helmsley the Big Show comes out behind him,
- wielding a chair. Right behind him is Kane. Kane yanks away the chair and
- blasts Big Show. The Undertaker then sends Kane after Stephanie. She runs
- away through the crowd. That leaves the way clear for the Undertaker to
- go after Triple H. He's just about to chokeslam him when a recovered Big
- Show enters the ring. Undertaker sets Triple H down to deal with him,
- allowing Triple H to flee. The Taker nails the Big Show. Big Show and
- Triple H end up backing up the ramp, making the usual "we'll get you!"
- faces. Test, forgotten in all this, gets a little too close to the
- Undertaker and eats that chokeslam meant for Helmsley.
- - Somewhere in the bowels of the arena Kane has caught up to Stephanie. He
- has her hoisted above his head, high up on a concrete staircase. The
- Undertaker watches from below. William Regal demands they let her go, and
- they do, but only after Regal agrees to book Kane in a match against the
- Big Show at WrestleMania, as well as the Undertaker vs. Triple H.
- - X-PAC/JUSTIN CREDIBLE (w/ Albert) vs. GRANDMASTER SEXAY/STEVE BLACKMAN
- X-Pac & Credible have new entrance music that's less annoying than
- Justin's was. A by-the-numbers deal here, with Albert interfering and
- X-Pac pinning Sexay.
- The Dudleyz are ready for their Tag Title match. Regal gives him the bad
- news, but they convince him that it's in his best interest to give them a
- shot anyway.
- Meanwhile, in Regal's office, Chris Jericho ducks behind a curtain with
- the commissioner's teapot. Tinkle tinkle tinkle. Oh god.
- - Regal has settled in and is just pouring himself a cup of pee when Harvey
- Whippleman bursts in, trying to warn him. Regal tells him to bugger off,
- and samples the brew. "Ooh ... rather tart!" At least he didn't say it
- had a little wang to it.
- - Ivory comes out for a promo in the ring that lasts about three hours. She
- belittles a cardboard cutout of Chyna for not having the guts to sign a
- contract for a match against her at WrestleMania. As she's beating up the
- cutout the real Chyna comes on (yowza--looking hot). Chyna gets her hands
- on the contract and signs it, then gets away before the rest of the RTC
- can catch her.
- Regal has found out that he's been besmirched again, and books a match
- between himself and Jericho at WrestleMania. He also adds himself and
- Jericho to tonight's main event, which had been scheduled to be a
- handicap match with the Rock against Kurt Angle & Chris Benoit. Jericho
- will team with Rock, while Regal joins the Canadian Crippler and Olympic
- Gold Medalist.
- - Funny that a man with knees as bad as Austin would walk down all those
- steps instead of taking the escalator which is RIGHT THERE. The Coach
- tells Austin and Debra that the Rock is waiting for him at the arena.
- Austin tells the Coach he just got the Rock's ass kicked, then orders him
- to get his bags.
- - THE DUDLEY BOYZ vs. EDGE/CHRISTIAN
- Fast forward to the Whazzup?! Nutbuster, and D-Von getting the table. A
- baseball slide by Edge smashes the table into D-Von's face, while Buh-Buh
- gets a Slop Drop from Christian. Christian has a chair when ... Spike
- Dudley(?!), another refugee from ECW, comes in and drop-kicks the chair
- into Christian's face. Headlock, run up the turnbuckles, and Spike
- delivers an Acid Drop onto the chair! Edge is totally flabbergasted, and
- by the time he turns around the Dudleyz are waiting with the 3-D. Cover,
- and we have our second Tag Title change of the night. The Dudley Family
- celebrates on the ramp. Paul Heyman is, of course, going nuts, while Jim
- Ross is all like "what the HELL?!" Cool angle. Does this mean Jerry Lynn
- is coming in as the third Hardy Boy?
- - Kurt Angle tells Chris Benoit to use the Crippler Crossface ("that thing
- you do where you put your, you know, hands across their nose ...") on the
- Rock to set up Angle's anklelock submission. Benoit doesn't look thrilled
- to be told to set up anything for Angle.
- - Eddie Guerrero is at WWF New York. Eddie faces Test for the European
- Title at WrestleMania.
- - KURT ANGLE/CHRIS BENOIT/WILLIAM REGAL vs. THE ROCK/CHRIS JERICHO
- Jericho asks what Regal's favorite letter is, and as he rattles them off
- in order, the crowd loudly yells "NO!" every time he pauses ... until he
- reaches "P". Funny stuff. Decent match, but not as good as other recent
- RAW main events. The finish sees Benoit slaps the Crippler Crossface on
- the Rock, while Angle goes after the ankle. Jericho saves the Rock, but
- himself falls victim to a championship belt shot from Regal, who then
- covers for the pin. Regal, Benoit & Angle all turn their attention to
- stomping on the Rock.
- Here comes Steve Austin, blowing the roof off. Austin first goes after
- Angle, then sets his sights on giving the Rock a Stunner. Angle comes
- back for more, and Austin disposes of him, but by this time the Rock has
- recovered and he waffles Austin with the championship belt! Regal and
- Jericho are going at it, leaving Benoit, who the Rock punches out of the
- ring. The Rock turns, and there's Austin. A Rock Bottom lays the
- Rattlesnake flat out on the mat. The show ends with the Rock standing
- over the unconscious Austin.
- - This Thursday: Nothing announced.
- - Next week: Nothing announced.
- Comments:
- An unpredictable show, which went a long way towards fleshing out the
- WrestleMania undercard. They must have touched on seven or eight different
- matches throughout the show. Good show, but the mediocre quality of matches
- this week made it a step down from the last couple of weeks.
- Maybe it was just Albany, but the fans really seem to be siding with Austin
- more than the Rock.
- I'm damn surprised that they debuted two new wrestlers before WrestleMania.
- I'm not sure how good Rhino's chances are of getting over, but I think Spike
- Dudley will be a hit (though most of the crowd here seemed to have no idea
- who he was). They should really show some ECW footage to give the fans some
- idea who these guys are.
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- The Bottom Line:
- The latest on WCW coming out of these shows is that Fusient has completely
- halted efforts to buy the company, as stated in a press release sent out by
- them on Tuesday. Looks like Bischoff couldn't put together a TV deal
- anywhere else quick enough to make them risk buying the company.
- In Fusient's place the WWF has reentered the picture. With airing WCW on TNT
- or TBS no longer being an option, the obstacle that prevented the WWF from
- buying the company earlier this year (opposition from Viacom) has now been
- removed. If the WWF buys WCW it looks like they may take a shot at keeping
- the company running, airing a show on one of the Viacom networks. They are
- in the process of examining all of WCW's assets, basically in the position
- Fusient was in roughly two months ago when they first publicly announced the
- sale. We should know in the next week or two if a deal will be made, though
- the odds of it happening this time around are probably much greater, since
- the WWF doesn't have to worry about the opposition from Viacom. Were it not
- for that they probably would have already bought WCW. They only thing that
- could kill the deal this time around is if the WWF changes its mind and
- decides they don't want it. Even if someone else steps in and tries to
- outbid the WWF, if Vince McMahon wants WCW bad enough, he'll probably get
- it. Fusient knew that, and with no TV deal anywhere to make buying WCW a
- safe investment, they pulled out.
- We'll have to see how this plays out, but for a while at least it looks like
- there's going to be something for me to keep writing about.
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 2001 by
- John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those
- of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how
- to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week.
- Volume One, Number 279 of the "Monday Night Recap", March 19th, 2001.
- ~~~~~
- Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #280
- March 26th, 2001
- The Opening Word:
- WCW lives.
- Sort of.
- I wrote about the rumors last week, and a day or two later they all came to
- fruition, with Vince McMahon buying WCW. There's not a lot more to say about
- it than that, so lets get on to tonight's historic shows ...
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- WCW Monday Nitro:
- Live/Taped: Live.
- Length: Two Hours.
- Location: Panama City, Florida.
- Hosted By: Tony Schiavone & Scott Hudson.
- HOUR ONE:
- - Vince McMahon is standing in front of the chain link RAW is WAR interview
- set. He says it was just a matter of time before he bought WCW. He says
- later tonight, on the final Nitro ever on the Turner networks, in a
- special simulcast (with RAW), he will address the fans and superstars of
- WCW. Vince holds their futures in the palms of his hands.
- - Is this a new opening video? Isn't it a bit late for that?
- - It's weird to hear Schiavone and Hudson talk about "Mr. McMahon".
- - Ric Flair comes to the ring. This is the long-awaited Spring Break-Out
- show, and is being held outdoors next to a multi-story nightclub. The
- crowd is very small, though it looks like are still filtering in (so to
- speak). Flair talks about the great names in WCW's past, and how Vince
- McMahon can't hold all of that in his hands. More great names from the
- past are mentioned. Flair says they were all the equal of the WWF,
- running neck-in-neck with McMahon for years. Flair drops an anecdote
- about Vince's father, how when he was the head of the WWF and part of the
- NWA, he voted for Flair to be NWA Champion. He asks when Vince Jr. worked
- every day on the road, bleeding, wrestling for an hour, etc. Again he
- says Vince can't hold all that in his hands. The camera shows some
- anti-WWF and anti-McMahon signs in the crowd. Flair closes by saying his
- greatest opponent ever in WCW was Sting, and that if they're going to end
- Nitro it should be with them in their final match. Flair lost the crowd
- there towards the end, and it was probably too inside, but it was
- nonetheless an awesome promo on his part. This is the end of WCW, and
- they're going to do their damnedest to go out the way WCW fans would want
- them to.
- - Schiavone reiterates that this is the final WCW show ever on TNT.
- - SCOTT STEINER (w/ Midajah) vs. BOOKER T
- There was serious doubt as to whether Steiner was going to show up
- tonight, much less be able to wrestle Booker. Steiner is suffering from a
- pinched nerve which is making one of his legs nearly useless. Steiner's
- lack of mobility is very evident, in this match which mostly goes through
- the motions until a very good finish. Ghetto Blaster by Booker. Into the
- ropes, Steiner is slammed to the mat face-first. Spinnerooni! Harlem
- Sidekick. Book End, but Steiner spins out of it, and hits a Northern
- Lights Suplex. Booker gets the shoulder up. Powerbomb attempt by Steiner,
- but Booker escapes and hits the Book End. Cover, and Booker wins the WCW
- Heavyweight Championship. Nice. Booker T celebrates with both the World
- and United States Title belts. They said the two were being unified, so
- that could be it for the U.S. Title. I give Steiner a tremendous amount
- of credit for being able to do this match at all, and doing the right
- thing.
- - Spring Break-Out ... 1-800-COLLECT ... girls in bikinis ...
- - Vince, on the phone with someone, belittles WCW for choosing to do their
- final show at some redneck bar. Talk about drawing the battle lines. Not
- that this wasn't what WCW fans wanted, as all last week they lamented the
- end of "southern" wrestling.
- - 3 COUNT vs. THE JUNG DRAGONS vs. THE FILTHY ANIMALS
- The winner here gets a shot at Elix Skipper & Kid Romeo later tonight for
- the Cruiserweight Tag Team Titles. A pure spotfest evolves into high
- spots alternating with pin attempts. The finish, weakly executed, sees
- Rey Mysterio get Shannon Moore dangling backwards in the ropes. Mysterio
- takes too long going to the top, and loses even more time slipping on the
- ropes, but he eventually comes off with a guillotine legdrop, which
- secures the pin.
- - Vince, still on the phone, is joined by Trish Stratus, who has champagne
- and two glasses. Vince sets them aside and says he has a better idea. The
- two start groping each other. I'd give anything to see Schiavone's face
- right now.
- - CHAVO GUERRERO, JR. vs. "SUGAR" SHANE HELMS
- Helms gets the clean win with the Vertebreaker, coming off a nice series
- of reversals leading up to it. The babyfaces are sure going over so far
- tonight.
- - Booker T cuts an emotional promo (staring off into space--*grrr*), saying
- he wants to prove he's the best in the business. He challenges anyone to
- come in and face him. I take that as a cue that Booker will be fending
- off a stream of WWF challengers. My personal wish: I'd like to see Chris
- Benoit come in and stake a claim to the belt, since he left the company
- as champion without ever losing it in the ring. Booker T beating him
- would give the WCW Title tons of credibility.
- - Lance Storm & Mike Awesome come out, cut a promo, then they go back to
- commercial break.
- - Michael Cole asks Vince McMahon about WCW's fans and employees, who are
- worried about the company's future. McMahon asks Cole about *his* future,
- and Cole nervously leaves. These typical RAW segments feel so out of
- place in this incarnation of Nitro. It's a little like when Vince Russo
- brought Crash TV to WCW.
- - Schiavone & Hudson are doing a great job getting this all over,
- especially given the circumstances. They're definitely not phoning it in.
- - SEAN O'HAIRE/CHUCK PALUMBO vs. TEAM CANADA
- Close to a squash, with O'Haire pinning Awesome with the Seanton Bomb in
- just a couple of minutes.
- HOUR TWO:
- - BAM BAM BIGELOW vs. SHAWN STASIAK (w/ Stacy Kiebler)
- The WWF must not have thought much about this one, as the whole thing is
- wrapped up in about a minute, with Stasiak quickly pinning Bigelow
- following a neckbreaker.
- - WWF commissioner William Regal shows McMahon his WrestleMania x-Seven
- shirt (BLATANT PLUG). Regal calls WCW a "bloody awful place."
- - The WWF is being pretty smart in not putting on too much against the
- start of their own show.
- - Diamond Dallas Page, in a pretaped segment, talks about the long ride
- he's had in WCW. He, speaking for himself and Kimberly, thanks the WCW
- fans. Is it over yet? "I don't think so!"
- - A nice video package airs showing past WCW (and NWA) champions. For those
- wanting a final nostalgic look at the past, this would have to do.
- - Vince says "it's just about that time ..."
- - Regal must have really touched a nerve with Schiavone, because during the
- next match Schiavone gripes about WCW having to do some crazy things,
- such as "putting your ass over on TV!" Me-OW!
- - THE FILTHY ANIMALS vs. ELIX SKIPPER/KID ROMEO
- Our string of good but short matches continues, with Kidman pinning
- Skipper with the Kid Krusher to win the Cruiserweight Tag Team Titles.
- Sting, surrounded by a bunch of baseball bats hanging from the ceiling,
- says "it's SHOWTIME!"
- - Vince is walking through the back of whatever arena RAW is at.
- - Flair makes his entrance as Schiavone hypes Flair's fourteen World Title
- reigns. He notes that the gold belt Booker T has was originally made for
- Flair.
- - STING vs. RIC FLAIR
- If you've seen it once, you've seen it a hundred times, and it's pretty
- much good each time. Hudson notes that when it was in vogue to jump to
- the WWF, Sting, who came in from the UWF, stayed loyal to WCW. Okay, I'll
- admit that I'm a mark for hype ... I'd like to see Sting hang around for
- a bit longer. Sting secures the win with the Scorpion Deathlock. The two
- men then put a fitting end to their feud with an embrace and a handshake.
- This is allowed to last a few moments, then we cut over to the simulcast
- feed from RAW, which I'll recap below.
- Comments:
- In its own way this was probably among the best shows WCW has put on in
- recent memory (which admittedly isn't saying much). Disassembling the show,
- none of the matches really stood out as great, but they were all solid
- enough to leave WCW fans feeling somewhat okay about the legacy of the
- company. And the big angle certainly made it memorable. It said goodbye, and
- thanks, and did so with all clean matches with mostly babyfaces going over.
- Given the circumstances they put on about the best show they could have for
- WCW fans. WWF fans were probably pretty bored by the show. I expect some WCW
- fans to trash it because the WWF was in charge, even though most of the show
- was still typical WCW fare.
- My thoughts on the big angle and more are below.
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- WWF RAW is WAR:
- Live/Taped: Live.
- Length: Two Hours+.
- Location: Cleveland, Ohio.
- Hosted By: Jim Ross & Paul Heyman.
- WWF RAW:
- - Vince McMahon is standing in front of two television sets, one showing
- RAW, one showing a shot of Jeff Jarrett in WCW. McMahon says Jarrett
- should spell his name "'G', 'double-O', 'double-N', 'double-E'".
- "Goonnee"? Vince has bought WCW, and there's gonna be some changes.
- - Tonight: Steve Austin and the Rock have to team up to face the Undertaker
- & Kane.
- - Paul Heyman says the war is over, and tonight is Vince McMahon's victory
- party.
- - Kurt Angle comes to the ring. There's a big question on everybody's mind,
- and Kurt Angle says that's who is Angle going to face at WrestleMania?
- Even the Gobbledygooker has a match at WrestleMania, but not Angle. Enter
- Chris Benoit. Benoit says the good news is he doesn't have an opponent
- at WrestleMania ... and the bad news is he doesn't have an opponent at
- WrestleMania. "It's true, it's true!" The challenge made, Angle says he
- would never tap out to the Crippler Crossface. "Prove me wrong!" Suddenly
- they exchange blows. Benoit tries the Crossface, but Angle escapes, goes
- for the Anglelock, but Benoit escapes that and hits the Crossface. Angle
- taps. Edge & Christian then run in to make the save for Angle, laying out
- Benoit.
- Vince, looking at the WCW feed, says the "Lex Express" (Lex Luger) has
- run out of gas, while Buff (Bagwell) has been stuffed.
- - Debra blows off a question from Michael Cole.
- - TAZZ vs. VAL VENIS
- The Acolytes, Jacqueline and Right To Censor surround the ring, this
- being a Lumberjack Match. Mere seconds in everyone on the floor starts
- fighting. Val misses the Money Shot off the top, and Tazz hooks in a
- suplex for the win.
- Now Vince casts aspersions on Road Warrior Animal, to the amusement of
- Trish Stratus. It's hard to ignore that none of these guys were on Nitro
- tonight. McMahon then wishes William Regal good luck in his match
- tonight.
- - Jim Ross talks about the Gimmick Battle Royal at WrestleMania, while Paul
- Heyman shakes his head. This is accompanied by a shot of Doink(!) out in
- the crowd.
- - William Regal hits the ring. As a tuneup for his match against Chris
- Jericho at WrestleMania, tonight he will face ... Molly Holly. Crash
- Holly tries to stick up for Molly, but Regal takes him out, then locks
- the STF on Molly. STF on Crash. Suddenly Doink the Clown charges the
- ring! Flying forearm by the clown. Walls of Doink! It's Chris Jericho!
- Regal is sent packing, having again been besmirched by Jericho.
- Vince takes a look at Dustin Rhodes, formerly Goldust. He ridicules him,
- saying Goldust once wanted to wear a pair of breast implants. Vince then
- looks at Trish's implants and loses his train of thought.
- - Regal tells the Coach that Jericho has to face the Big Show later tonight
- in a non-title match.
- - Edge & Christian introduce Angle to their old friend, Rhyno. Angle: "What
- is THAT?!"
- - An Austin/Rock promo is shown, followed by clips of the sitdown interview
- between the two conducted by Jim Ross on SmackDown! last week. I'm
- assuming they're showing this to allow the Sting/Flair match to finish up
- over on Nitro.
- - The Coach gets blown off by Debra just like Cole. We then hear "out!",
- and Coachman goes from his TV Face to his Working Backstage Face. Damn,
- Vince bought WCW's production goofs too! Cut over to Vince, who's getting
- ready to make his simulcast.
- - Vince McMahon heads to the ring. The final match on Nitro is just
- finishing up, so Vince kills a little time by forcing Lillian Garcia to
- introduce him again. As he's coming down the ramp for a second time Nitro
- picks up the feed. There's a bit of a lag between the two network feeds,
- making it a bit disorienting if you flip back and forth between the two.
- The only difference between the two is TNT has the Nitro logo in the
- corner, while TNN has their network logo in the corner.
- Vince says only he could make history like this tonight. He mistakenly
- calls TNT "TNN". He says Time Warner couldn't get anyone else to buy WCW.
- Vince says he's bought WCW--that is he WILL buy WCW, but only on one
- condition that he's now revealing for the first time. He says the only
- way he could compete with a billionaire like Ted Turner was to become a
- billionaire himself. Time Warner has signed the deal to sell WCW, but
- Vince won't sign it until WrestleMania, and only when Ted Turner brings
- the contract to the ring himself. Vince will then invite Ted to sit at
- ringside and watch Vince kick his son Shane's ass. Vince will also be
- accompanied by his daughter Stephanie, Trish Stratus, & his invalid,
- wheelchair-bound wife Linda.
- Vince says there's a lot he could do with WCW. He could just "put it on
- the shelf," and sit at home watching all those old WCW tapes, laughing at
- the likes Hulk Hogan and how WCW thought they could beat Vince. "He who
- laughs last, laughs best."
- Vince says he could also turn WCW around, because the WWF knows how to do
- that. But who should be a part of that? He asks for a reaction from the
- crowd, and starts rattling off some names. Hulk Hogan gets a mixed
- reaction. Lex Luger gets a negative reaction. Buff Bagwell gets a
- positive one, surprising Vince. Booker T gets one too. The crowd really
- pops for Big Poppa Pump, really surprising Vince. The fans then start
- chanting for Goldberg. Vince asks about Sting, and they pop. He says
- Goldberg, and they REALLY pop big. Vince looks worried about that one.
- Vince moves on, saying he could have flown down to the "redneck Riviera"
- to face the WCW fans and wrestlers, and tell them "YOU'RE FIRED!" Vince
- says that's exactly what's going to happen, as WCW is buried. He's
- putting it on the shelf. That's what happens to anyone who opposes Vince
- McMahon. The crowd starts calling him an "asshole!"
- Cue "No Chance In Hell", as we see Shane McMahon on the Titan-Tron. He's
- not in Cleveland, though, he's in Panama City! Shane enters the WCW ring.
- On Nitro the audio doesn't match the video, but it's just fine on TNN.
- Hmmm. He says there is indeed a "McMahon" on the documents to buy WCW,
- but it's not "Vince McMahon", it's Shane McMahon". Shane has bought WCW
- from Time Warner! And just as WCW kicked the WWF's ass in the past, Shane
- McMahon is going to kick Vince's ass at WrestleMania.
- The transition over to the WWF then becomes complete, as both networks
- air a promo for WrestleMania.
- WWF WAR ZONE:
- - THE HARDY BOYZ/CHRIS BENOIT (w/ Lita) vs. EDGE/CHRISTIAN/KURT ANGLE
- Our long night of short matches continues. Benoit makes Edge tap out to
- the Crippler Crossface. Rhyno then runs in and gores Lita.
- - A clip is shown of Triple H making a bloody mess of the Undertaker on
- SmackDown! Back live, the Undertaker shows Kevin Kelly the sixteen
- staples in his forehead.
- - TEST vs. X-PAC (w/ Albert)
- X-Pac didn't get yet another new entrance theme, did he? Maybe it's the
- one he had last week--I can't remember. Eddie Guerrero is the guest
- referee, so you can guess how this one comes out. Guerrero favors X-Pac,
- so Test slugs him. A second ref comes in to count a pin cover for Test,
- but Guerrero pulls the ref out. Albert then gives Test the ... Baldobomb?
- ... and X-Pac gets the pin.
- Now Michael Cole gets blown off by Steve Austin.
- - Hey, it's Mick Foley! Foley hits the ring to plug his new book, "Foley is
- Good", in stores May 8th. After getting a cheap pop from the crowd, Foley
- says WrestleMania wouldn't be WrestleMania without him. He says he's
- involving himself in a match at the PPV, at which point he's interrupted
- by Vince McMahon. McMahon says he's in no mood to play around, and
- threatens to have Foley forcibly ejected from the building. Foley begs to
- differ, saying that back before McMahon fired Foley from the WWF, on
- December 5th, 2000, Foley (who was still WWF commissioner) signed a
- number of WWF contracts. A video clip is shown (purportedly taped
- December 5th). Among the contracts he signed was one granting Foley the
- right to be a referee in any WrestleMania match of his choosing. Foley
- has decided to exercise that contract, and will be the referee in the
- Street Fight between Vince & Shane McMahon. Vince is livid, having been
- outsmarted again tonight. This really came out of nowhere, and doesn't do
- anything for me in wanting to see WrestleMania more.
- - Vince is so angry he's speechless.
- - CHRIS JERICHO vs. THE BIG SHOW
- Kane runs in to take out the Big Show, but Raven runs in to attack Kane,
- while William Regal interferes by attacking Jericho, so the Big Show ends
- up scoring the pin. Judging either show tonight based solely on the
- in-ring product is going to be pointless. Everything's happening too
- fast.
- The Rock acts very heelish backstage, doing his "it doesn't matter!" bit
- with some guy for no reason.
- - The Dudley Boyz, at WWF New York, vow to retain the Tag Team Titles in
- the "Tables, Ladders & Chairs Match II" at WrestleMania.
- - The Rock tells Austin that they can coexist tonight if they don't mess
- with each other.
- - THE ROCK/"STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN (w/ Debra) vs. THE UNDERTAKER/KANE
- It's a clean sweep for short matches on the night, as Austin pins the
- Undertaker following a run-in by Triple H, who hits the Undertaker in the
- back with a chair. Postmatch Austin starts to celebrate the win, taking a
- drink from a can of beer, only to turn and receive a Stone Cold Stunner
- from the Rock! Austin spews beer as he goes down. The Rock signals for a
- beer, opens it, then gingerly sets it next to Austin's head. He then
- heads up the ramp, and as Debra looks on in confusion, the Rock cracks
- another beer open and salutes the still-unconscious Stone Cold.
- - This Thursday: Nothing announced.
- - Next week: Nothing announced.
- Comments:
- This obviously wasn't the usual show, so it's hard to judge it by those
- standards. If I did, it would have to be rated rather poorly. Okay, so there
- was the big angle, and frankly that's all there was to this show. There was
- maybe two minutes of wrestling in the first hour, and only one real official
- match. Hour two was just aftershocks and hype for WrestleMania. I thought
- the big angle was tremendous, but the remainder of the show was really weak.
- But like I said, you can't look at this and really compare it to the usual
- RAW. Neither show really can be looked at that way, given the impact of the
- story that had to play out tonight.
- Not that WCW fans tuning in would look at it that way, mind you. Those who
- watched Nitro and were actually curious to check out RAW had to have been
- dismayed. Not only was there nothing done to assure them of WCW's future
- (aside from the assumptions one would come away with watching the big
- angle), there wasn't much of any wrestling close to the caliber of what WCW
- is (sometimes) capable of. With more of the same being likely for
- SmackDown!, the WWF is going to have to buckle down next Monday and deliver
- a wrestling-oriented show to impress those WCW fans. That is, assuming the
- WWF cares about them. I sure hope they do.
- I was disappointed that they didn't go back to the WCW announcers on Nitro
- for one final goodbye.
- All those backstage clips with Vince & others must have been pretaped.
- Unfortunately the order in which they aired on the two shows didn't always
- make sense. At one point there were two different ones running against each
- other!
- It's not hard to guess who the WWF is interested in keeping and who they'll
- be getting rid of. Those who appeared on Nitro are clearly the ones being
- looked at. Those who weren't were the ones McMahon made fun of on RAW.
- I expect an announcement to be made about the new WCW shown on RAW next
- week. The fact that no announcement was made tonight probably means the WWF
- is still talking to TNN about it. Rumors are the WCW show, presumably still
- called Nitro, will be on TNN late Friday or Saturday nights. I'd personally
- rather see a one hour show replace Superstars Sunday mornings than a two
- hour show on either of those nights that I myself would always have to tape,
- because I work nights.
- I like the way the big angle with Vince & Shane played out. It's not what I
- would have done, but it worked, setting the stage for the future without
- having to commit itself to heavily to any one thing (no doubt done that way
- because so many details of the change of ownership are still being worked
- out). The dynamic of the future storyline is simple: Vince wants to bury
- WCW, which is what he's been trying to do for years, while Shane has come to
- the company's rescue, hoping to use it show his father up in their ongoing
- battle of wills. The WCW fans are allowed to stay WCW fans, rooting "their
- guys" on against the inevitable invasion of WWF guys, sent down by Vince
- McMahon to crush Shane and WCW. It's really just a continuation of what WCW
- has been about for so many years.
- The question is how long will this all last, and will WCW be allowed to be
- perceived as being at the same level as the WWF? We'll have to wait and see.
- Obviously nothing lasts forever. Eventually one side is going to win, and
- you have to figure that will be the WWF. They could play this out long
- enough so that Shane and Vince end up swapping sides, with Shane in charge
- of the WWF, and Vince going to WCW in a last-ditch effort to beat his son.
- You'd think the goal at that point would be to get fans to root for Shane &
- the WWF to put Vince & WCW out of their misery for good. (Of course that's
- assuming Vince will some day, once and for all, "pass the torch" to Shane.)
- This thing is just beginning, and we still have a lot of questions regarding
- WCW.
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- The Bottom Line:
- Here is the card for WrestleMania X-Seven:
- * The Rock vs. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin for the WWF Championship.
- * Triple H vs. the Undertaker.
- * Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit.
- * The Dudley Boyz vs. the Hardy Boyz vs. Edge & Christian. "Tables,
- Ladders & Chairs Match II" for the Tag Team Titles.
- * Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon. Street Fight. Mick Foley guest referee.
- * Chris Jericho vs. William Regal for the Intercontinental Title.
- * Raven vs. Big Show vs. Kane for the Hardcore Title.
- * Test vs. Eddie Guerrero for the European Title.
- * Ivory vs. Chyna for the Women's Championship.
- * Gimmick Battle Royal.
- The PPV has a four hour window this year, and any time at the end not taken
- up by matches will be used to air a post-show wrap-up.
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 2001 by
- John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those
- of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how
- to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week.
- Volume One, Number 280 of the "Monday Night Recap", March 26th, 2001.
- ~~
- Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #164
- January 4th, 1999
- The Opening Word:
- Too much happening this week to waste time jabbering here.
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- WCW Monday Nitro:
- Live/Taped: Live.
- Length: Three Hours.
- Location: Atlanta, Georgia.
- HOUR ONE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Larry Zbyszko.
- - Dramatic footage of Kevin Nash versus Goldberg opens the show. Tonight
- they have their rematch. The Nitro Girls warm up the 40,000+ crowd. A
- new announcer for WCW (I can't be bothered to learn his name) is up in a
- skybox at the big Nitro Party Video Winner Party. Incredibly enough the
- winner is some guy from Atlanta. Imagine that. During the opening hype
- Tony Schiavone (the most hated man in the world) reminds us that Eric
- Bischoff and the NWO broke Randy Savage's knee. One assumes this would
- lead to something, but I'll spoil the surprise now and reveal that
- Savage doesn't appear tonight. Sorry. Also, "Hollywood" Hogan is in the
- building.
- - GLACIER vs. HUGH MORRUS
- Morrus is bald now, and looks about 50 pounds heavier because of it. He
- wins with the moonsault.
- - A LENGTHY video segment recounts what took place between Ric Flair and
- Eric Bischoff last week. Forget about us poor saps at home, I wonder
- how the 40,000+ at the arena felt having to sit there for the five or
- six minutes this lasted. This clip marks the only appearance of the
- Giant tonight, I should note. (The opening sequence follows, and the
- Giant has been replaced by Goldberg. I guess that about seals it.)
- - Ric Flair, his wife and kids, and the other Four Horsemen head to the
- ring. Dean Malenko is on crutches, having hurt his ankle at a house show
- over the weekend. They all hit the ring and Flair is interviewed by
- "Mean" Gene Okerlund. To save a lot of time I'm just going to list the
- highlights:
- * Flair calls out Bischoff--orders him to join the announcing crew.
- * Brings out referee Randy Anderson--gives him his job back.
- * Announces he will be facing Curt Hennig and Barry Windham at the PPV.
- * David Flair asks to be his partner. Arn says the kid is ready.
- This all took forever. I know it was supposed to be emotional and all
- that, but this wasn't even as interesting as the average Flair
- interview.
- - Konan's music video starts to play, but it is in fact part of a new
- commercial for a Konan t-shirt.
- - Bischoff is in the announce booth, but he will refuse to say anything
- for the majority of the following two hours. Instead we get hours of
- Schiavone telling him to say something, then threatening to "report him"
- to Flair.
- - BOOKER T. vs. EMERY HALE
- Squash.
- - NORMAN SMILEY vs. CHAVO GUERRERO, JR.
- As he walks out I realize that Smiley has a set of nice, firm, supple
- breasts. Excuse me now while I go and kill myself.
- ...
- ...
- ...
- Seems I didn't reload after those potshots I took at some Girl Scouts
- selling their damn cookies this past fall. Oh well, let's just move on
- and never discuss this again.
- These two wrestled last week. Chavo blows a springboard moonsault by
- slipping off the ropes. Smiley just stands there looking lost as Chavo
- hangs on the top rope, deciding what to do next. He then lands on his
- feet on the apron and leaps back into the ring, but that too is flubbed,
- and he catches Smiley low around the midsection. My brother and I were
- too busy laughing for the rest of the match to notice much else. Chavo
- wins, but Smiley then beats on him with Chavo's stick horse, Pepe. WCW,
- realizing how dumb this all looked, cut away to a commercial.
- - HORACE vs. CHRIS BENOIT
- Benoit doesn't even get a ring entrance, and Horace is just entering the
- ring as they come back. With the Warrior now gone Horace is probably the
- worst wrestler in WCW (with the Disciple and Lex Luger close behind).
- Benoit wins with the Crippler Crossface. WCW couldn't pay me to watch
- matches like these (so it goes without saying that I'm not going to give
- much of a damn watching for free).
- Cut to the back, where Goldberg is being arrested. Goldberg, in
- defending his innocence, sounds like he's borrowed all his speaking
- skills from Diamond Dallas Page. The police don't bother to tell him
- what he's being arrested for.
- HOUR TWO Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Zbyszko.
- - Goldberg is being loaded into a squad car. Kevin Nash comes out to see
- what's up. If this were "Murder She Wrote" or "Matlock", Nash would
- immediately be our number one suspect. Suspect number two arrives as
- "Hollywood" Hogan strolls in the building. He's having a good chuckle at
- Goldberg's predicament. In passing we see Miss Elizabeth talking to a
- couple of police detectives, so that rounds out our mystery cast with
- suspect number three. (And there's always Bischoff, who we all know
- tried to murder Ric Flair by poisoning him a few weeks ago.)
- - PERRY SATURN vs. CHRIS JERICHO (w/ Ralphus)
- Good match, I think, but I didn't pay much attention to it. Jericho wins
- with a bogus referee's decision (this being the same referee Saturn has
- had problems with in the past).
- Goldberg is being booked at the police station, which is supposedly only
- a short distance away. An officer informs him that he's being arrested
- for "aggravated stalking"--charges filed by Miss Elizabeth. Goldberg
- denies the charges.
- How am I supposed to react to an angle that prevents a healthy
- competitor from actually WRESTLING in a match? I could see if they
- needed to explain an absence due to injury, but this ... ? Explain to me
- why I shouldn't just see this as WCW screwing us out of a match they
- mega-hyped for a week? (Of course if we get a replacement match then we
- can't complain, right?)
- - Things are getting rowdy up in the Nitro Party box.
- - The cops are in the back grilling Elizabeth, getting the details
- regarding Goldberg stalking her. I'm sure the women's victims rights
- groups love this angle. Aren't there like "shield" laws which would
- prevent them from identifying Elizabeth, and showing her being
- interrogated?
- - Some nonsense involving Eddie Guerrero and the Latino World Order
- follows. Eddie and the guys take a bunch of "mamcitas" to a cheesy
- Mexican restaurant. Eddie then hits on all the girls while ordering
- around the other LWO members. Everyone talks like characters in a Cheech
- & Chong movie. This is all kind of ironic considering that Eddie was
- wiped out in a car crash on New Year's Eve. Broke his hip and messed up
- his liver from what I hear, and will be out for quite some time. WCW
- doesn't mention the accident.
- - KIDMAN/REY MYSTERIO, JR. vs. JUVENTUD GUERRERA/PSYCHOSIS
- Another possibly okay match which I blew off. Schiavone announces that
- this is a "Tornado Match", but someone forgot to tell the wrestlers.
- Psychosis pins Mysterio following a legdrop off the top.
- The cops have been watching the show, so they have a few details to
- question Goldberg on. Goldberg says has been where he's been because
- that's where WCW puts him (hotels and such). Liz had mentioned seeing
- him following her at a gym. Turns out Goldberg owns that gym, which is
- why he was there. I'd swear I saw this same plot on an episode of
- "Baywatch" once. Goldberg is no David Hasselhoff, though.
- - "Mean" Gene interviews Kevin Nash. Nash says this whole Goldberg thing
- stinks of Hogan, and he demands a match between he and Hogan later
- tonight, World Title on the line. Ric Flair comes out and announces that
- since Hogan is still under contract to WCW he must face Nash tonight.
- It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see where this is heading.
- - They replay the Nash/Goldberg video which opened the show, which is
- pretty pointless since that match has now been scrapped.
- - The cops are still questioning Liz. She's acting all defensive, and
- changing the details of her story. The two detectives excuse themselves
- to confer. Of course this is all nonsense, as Liz would have had to have
- provided all these details, in great depth, before the warrant could
- have been sworn out for Goldberg's arrest in the first place. If Liz had
- called them in advance, then they'd have gotten her statement in full
- before even going to Goldberg. And if Liz just called them around the
- time the show was starting, then they would be questioning her (like
- we're seeing), but they wouldn't just arrest Goldberg and remove him
- from the building. They'd be off in another room getting his statement,
- just like they're doing with Liz. The only way they'd remove him from
- the building is if she claimed he posed some kind of immediate threat to
- her. That would most likely involve an outright accusation of assault or
- physical intimidation. Without that the police don't just arrest people
- for "stalking"--not until the investigation is complete and charges are
- going to be filed in court, at which point it's out of Elizabeth's hands
- and in the hands of the district attorney. I'm not a legal expert, and I
- know I shouldn't be obsessing over these details, but I suspect that the
- reason this bugged me so much is that fundamentally speaking what's
- happening isn't what would happen in real life! You don't just claim
- "he's stalking me!" and get someone arrested. It's just not that easy.
- HOUR THREE Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.
- - "Mean" Gene interviews "Hollywood" Hogan. Hogan says the world of
- professional wrestling still revolves around him. He teases that he's
- chosen a running mate for his presidential campaign, but instead changes
- the subject and talks about Goldberg and Nash. He says he owes his fans
- one final retirement match, accepting Nash's challenge.
- Tony Schiavone, in a moment that has raised the ire of most wrestling
- fans (WWF ones, anyway, on the Internet), reveals that Mick Foley wins
- the WWF Championship over on RAW. Rather mockingly he adds "Oh, that's
- going to put butts in the seats." I won't fault him for giving away the
- results--that's the peril of being taped (and the WWF itself gave away
- the results last week on their website). I do have a problem, though,
- with Tony mocking a guy who bled, sweat and gave an ear for WCW. More
- on this later.
- - They show a pretaped clip of Chris Jericho sucking up to the referee who
- gave him the win earlier tonight, They probably should have showed this
- before THAT match.
- - Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell come out. Steiner does the same damn old
- interview, while Bagwell does an imitation of Atlanta Falcons coach Dan
- Reeves, who recently had heart bypass surgery. The crowd is not amused.
- - KONAN vs. SCOTT STEINER (w/ Buff Bagwell)
- Another return match from last week, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna
- watch. Bagwell interferes, the ref throws the match out, Steiner
- clobbers him, and the NWO ref comes in to declare Steiner the winner. Of
- course we'll probably have to see this one again at the PPV.
- - WRATH vs. BAM BAM BIGELOW
- Before the match Wrath takes the mic and says there's no competition in
- WCW, and challenges anyone to come out and face him. Bigelow comes out
- (which means that WCW can't claim he isn't "officially" in WCW any
- more). The fat guy runs into the tall guy for a few minutes, until the
- ref throws the match out (DQ on Bigelow, I guess).
- Bischoff, during the above match, calls Goldberg a "punk"--the first
- thing he's said all night.
- The detectives point out all the holes in Liz's story. Warning her the
- penalties for lying, she says she must have been mistaken and drops the
- whole thing.
- - BRIAN ADAMS (w/ Vincent) vs. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE
- Page takes almost ten minutes to hit the Diamond Cutter for the won.
- The cops finally tell Goldberg that he's free. For some strange reason
- he's been handcuffed all this time. If he was really under arrest
- wouldn't they have just stuck him in a cell an hour earlier? Goldberg
- orders them to drive him back to the Dome, which they cheerfully agree
- to, since the police have nothing better to do than play taxi driver.
- - KEVIN NASH (w/ Scott Hall) vs. "HOLLYWOOD" HOGAN (w/ Scott Steiner)
- Michael Buffer does the introductions, and the combined entrances kill
- several minutes. Hogan comes out dressed like Tommy Dreamer. Hall is
- wearing a Wolfpac shirt, like Nash, and the two hug.
- Hogan and Nash circle, killing a minute or so. Nash gives a light shove.
- Hogan responds with a tap to the chest. Nash drops like a ton of bricks.
- Hogan covers and 1 ... 2 ... 3 ... there's a new WCW/NWO World
- Heavyweight Presidential Champion.
- What a load of crap.
- Hogan, Hall, Nash and Steiner all embrace.
- Goldberg then runs in. Instantly surveying what has taken place (maybe
- he heard the match on the radio--*snort!*) he takes out Steiner with a
- spinning kick. He gives Hall a suplex. He drops Nash with a kick to the
- chin. Hogan nails him with the belt, but Goldberg just snorts and shakes
- his head. Hogan tries a few punches, but Goldberg takes him down with a
- half-assed spear.
- Lex Luger then comes in and, after initially seeming to root Goldberg
- on, nails him from behind! Everyone then pounds on Goldberg down on the
- mat. Luger puts him in the Torture Rack for a few seconds, then they
- handcuff him to the bottom rope. Hall zaps him again with the shock
- stick (with Bischoff making a funny sound effects). As the rest of the
- NWO comes out they spray their logo, in red paint, on Goldberg's back.
- - This Thursday: Live, but nothing announced.
- - Next week: Nothing announced.
- Comments:
- Don't you hate it when bad rumors come true? That's what happened here.
- Almost everything that went down here had been rumored to be taking place
- this Monday: some rumors going back almost a month. I'm not just talking
- about "rumors of everything possible happening and thus what did happen was
- covered". No. I'm talking about solid, specific rumors, on all the big
- wrestling news sites, saying that Hogan was coming back, would replace
- Goldberg in the main event, win the title, and he, Nash and Hall would
- re-form the original NWO. There were other rumors involving other wrestlers
- which didn't pan out, but in regards to Hogan, Nash, Goldberg and Hall,
- sites like 1Wrestling.Com and WrestleManiacs nailed it right on the head.
- Not that anyone's crowing about being right. Most of these rumors were
- reported in a negative manner. I'm not sure anyone (other than Bob Ryder)
- wanted to see this all come about. Most reported the planned scenario like
- "can you believe this is what WCW is actually thinking of doing?!"
- Kevin Nash spent the better part of the last year telling us how bad Hogan
- was. Now he's rejoined him, handing the World Title over to him. The
- Wolfpac was supposed to show how lame the NWO was in comparison. Now the
- Wolfpac has returned to the NWO fold. Lex Luger had been a bitter nemesis
- of Hogan's ever since he turned bad back in '96. Now they're buddies. I'm
- sure there's an explanation for all this (Nash and Luger will probably say
- they did it for the money), but all the explanations in the world aren't
- going to cover up how dumb this all was. I've already seen a few people say
- this "breathes new life" into the NWO. To be honest, I'm trying to figure
- out how reviving something you spent that last two years beating into the
- ground can be considered "breathing new life" into anything. If it's
- cliches were talking about, my pick here would be "beating a dead horse".
- At best they've just returned to square one. That may be better than the
- NWO we've had to deal with lately, but it's hardly an original or
- innovative move.
- So basically the last five or six weeks have meant nothing. Nash being in
- charge of things didn't amount to much, and his first reign as World
- Champion has been completely forgettable. He didn't even defend the belt in
- a meaningful match (lazy bastard). Either he (and Luger and Hall) went
- completely mental and decided to go back to Hogan (who had--news flash--
- retired, last I heard); or we pretty much now have to assume this was the
- plan from the moment Hogan "retired". In character and story terms it
- doesn't make sense. But in real life, things are a bit clearer.
- WCW's first wrestling special for NBC will take place February 14th. NBC
- has, by all accounts, made it clear that they want Hogan involved in a big
- way. For WCW this meant bringing Hogan back from his self imposed
- retirement and handing him the keys to the car. That pretty much rolls the
- clock back to where WCW was this past summer, when they were being beaten
- handily in the ratings and delivering a show that even their diehard fans
- had a hard time enjoying. WCW is spiting their existing fans, in a huge
- gamble to draw in new fans with the increased exposure being on NBC will
- give them.
- Moving on to the other scintillating aspects of the show, how lame has Ric
- Flair's reign as "WCW President" started? He drops the energy level to do a
- "serious" speech, then goes on to an executive decision which would make
- Roddy Piper look like a genius. How stupid do you have to be to sanction a
- World Title match for Hulk Hogan, knowing Goldberg is out of the building
- and the NWO is there in full force? He didn't even bother to bar anyone
- from ringside. At least Mick Foley was holding Shane McMahon hostage, which
- forced Vince McMahon to make the stupid decisions he made (see below). I
- realize this is just all part of the story, but I wonder if Flair realizes
- how stupid this all makes him look. Roddy Piper, when he was "Acting
- Commissioner", used to announce all these matches and match stipulations
- which always backfired against the good guys. Flair is following right in
- his footsteps.
- And how much of a punishment is it to make Bischoff be an announcer? Damn
- Flair is hardcore!
- Randy Anderson was gone? I'd swear he's been out there refereeing every
- week for the past year. I'd check an old tape, but that would, you know,
- require effort.
- Like him or not, Goldberg gave the WCW Title some credibility by being a
- fighting champion. So of course Hogan comes along and wins it back in an
- effort deficient non-match. WCW is stuck with either having big name stars
- who don't defend the belt (Hogan & Nash), or a nobody rookie (Goldberg)
- defending it against other jobbers. (Okay, that was a bit harsh.)
- So now we get to wrestle with the question of whether or not Konan will
- join his Wolfpac friends in rejoining the NWO, or will he stick it out on
- his own? Randy Savage has yet to be heard from. There's still Sting to
- contend with too when he comes back. Does the Wolfpac still exist? What
- will the NWO's official colors be now?
- Basically a rehash of all the various plot elements we saw in '96 and '97.
- A surprise that wasn't, two okay matches, no main event, and a whole lot of
- filler. That about sums up what WCW hyped as the "GREATEST NITRO EVER!"
- When are you WCW fans going to call WCW on the carpet for crap like this?
- Aw, what's the point. Who cares what I think? It's not as if I'm upset
- about it or anything. Hell, I just thought this week's show was boring, and
- didn't care much about anything that happened. I'll just let those who
- really felt they were screwed over do the complaining.
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- WWF RAW is WAR:
- Live/Taped: Taped 12/31/98.
- Length: Two Hours+.
- Location: Worcester, Massachusetts.
- WWF RAW Hosted By: Michael Cole and Jerry "The King" Lawler.
- - One of those videos where they show everything repeatedly from 40
- different angles opens the show. As they're recapping Shawn Michaels'
- career the video is interrupted by Vince McMahon, who makes his way to
- the ring. Vince says that Shawn, despite comments he made on Sunday
- Night Heat, will be a no-show here on RAW tonight. McMahon is
- accompanied by the rest of the Corporation: Shane McMahon, the Bossman,
- Ken Shamrock, Test, Kane, Pat Patterson and Jerry Brisco. McMahon says
- that anyone who was remotely connected with Mankind beating Shane two
- weeks ago will be dealt with.
- The Titan-Tron picks up a live feed of Michaels entering the building.
- McMahon tells his Corporate hit men to dismember Michaels when they see
- him. Shawn comes out to the stage and reveals that he's brought "the
- cavalry" with him: DeGeneration X. (I guess they got over Shawn hitting
- them with chairs and screwing them out of titles.) Shawn says his
- lawyers have poured over his WWF contract and found it to be ironclad.
- McMahon can't fire Michaels from his role as Commissioner. Shawn then
- reminds us that Vince gave him full power over all WWF competitors
- except for Steve Austin. Playing a clip of McMahon having his Royal
- Rumble number drawn, Shawn says that once Vince entered the Rumble, he
- became a WWF competitor under Michaels' control. Accordingly, Shawn
- changes McMahon's number of entry from #30 to #2 (just after Steve
- Austin). Michaels wraps things up by promising to leave and return with
- a surprise for McMahon which will drive him "Stone Cold Crazy".
- - KEN SHAMROCK vs. STEVE BLACKMAN
- Non-title match. Dan Severn--in neck brace--comes to ringside to watch.
- He eventually winds up on the apron. Shamrock shoves him back down. The
- ref is then tied up keeping Severn out of the ring, at which point Billy
- Gunn runs in on the other side and plants Shamrock with a Rocker Dropper
- legdrop. Blackman covers for the pin.
- - Shamrock and Gunn are brawling in the broke. Referees pull the two
- apart.
- - Mankind comes out to cut a promo. After some funny comments about Pat
- Patterson's testicles and saying "please" before "suck it!", he calls
- for Vince McMahon to come out, to give him a title shot against the
- Rock. McMahon appears and rips into Mankind for even suggesting that
- he's due another shot at the title. He calls him a "disfigured monster",
- and says he is where he is today because he listened to the fans, not
- McMahon. The best McMahon can do for him is offer him a Royal Rumble
- qualifying match against Triple H. Shane McMahon will be the guest
- referee.
- Chyna is in the back talking to some, err, lady.
- - "SEXUAL CHOCOLATE" MARK HENRY vs. GOLDUST
- The usual Goldust match of late: he has the momentum, but loses by DQ
- for delivering the Shattered Dreams (kick to the gonads). Chyna and that
- woMAN she's with come out to tend to Henry's busted plumbing. Chyna
- tells Mark that he's too much man for her, and that she and her new
- friend "Sammy" are going to help him "take a load off your mind". Henry
- falls over in a dead faint.
- - They show a few clips of Jesse "the Body" Ventura being sworn in as
- Governor of Minnesota. They then plug their Ventura video.
- - Dennis Knight, who was kidnapped by the Acolytes a week or two ago, is
- tied up in a dungeon somewhere. Huh?
- - THE GODFATHER (w/ 4 Ho's) vs. TEST
- Test has generic blues/rock theme music. Ugly looking match, which comes
- to an end when Val Venis comes out to fight with Test. No winner.
- Shawn is in the back sharing a laugh with the rest of D-X.
- WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler.
- - MANKIND vs. HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY (w/ Chyna)
- Not good, not bad, just short. Triple H, after going to the floor, tries
- to come back in over the top rope, hitting Mankind with a Sunset Flip.
- Mankind holds onto the ropes, but Shane kicks him loose. Triple H rolls
- him up and Shane makes a super-fast three count. Triple H will now be in
- the Royal Rumble. He tells Mankind that this is all just business, no
- hard feelings. He then kicks Shane in the gut and lays him out with the
- Pedigree! "Happy New Year!" Helmsley leaves Shane alone in the ring at
- the mercy of Mankind. Mankind slaps on an armbar hold. Shane starts
- screaming as Vince and crew come out. "I changed my mind ... I want a
- title shot TONIGHT!" McMahon agrees. Mankind asks for the further
- stipulation that the match be no DQ. A twist on Shane's arm forces
- McMahon to agree to that too. As Vince is helping his son back up the
- ramp he's confronted by the Rock, who wants to know what the hell this
- all means.
- - EDGE vs. D-LO BROWN
- A good match, spoiled by the WWF storyline machine. D-Lo and Edge are
- trading planchas and powerbombs and such, when Terri Runnels and
- Jacqueline come out. Terri climbs the apron and starts badmouthing D-Lo
- for no reason. D-Lo advances on her and she backs down the stairs,
- slips, and takes a tumble to the floor. For the next couple of minutes
- she hold her stomach, crying about her unborn baby. D-Lo stands by
- looking distraught. She' loaded onto a stretcher and carted away. After
- the break they show a doctor checking on her. He doesn't seem to think
- she's pregnant.
- Give me a break. Terri narrowly edges out Elizabeth for worst acting job
- of the evening.
- - Patterson, Brisco and Shane lead Kane to the ring. Brisco has hung a
- "Brisco Brothers Body Shop" sign on Kane's back. Shane is still selling
- his injured shoulder. He announces there will be a special handicap
- match, and Kane's opponents will be ... Patterson and Brisco!
- - KANE vs. PAT PATTERSON/JERRY BRISCO
- Vince McMahon reminds them of his edict that anyone involved in Shane
- getting hurt will pay. Kane destroys the two stooges, while Shane cheers
- him on over the mic. Kane then grabs Shane (the monster's outta
- control!) but Vince orders him to let go or he'll wind up back in the
- insane asylum. Patterson and Brisco blame each other for the for their
- hard times.
- - The Acolytes tell Knight that "he is ready for you." I had assumed the
- "he" was the Jackyl, but word is that the WWF let him go.
- - AL SNOW vs. "ROAD DOGG" JESSE JAMES
- Al, still wearing the blood stained shirt which caused him to snap two
- weeks ago, comes out and plants the Head on the stage, then hides
- behind the curtain. Road Dogg then comes out and picks up the head, and
- is blind sided by Snow. From there the two brawl all around the ring,
- doing spots with tables, chairs, etc. Into the crowd they go and they
- wind up backstage, where they continue to beat on each other with
- anything not tied down. Snow chokes the Dogg with a rubber hose, and
- sprays water on him. He also hits him with a box of toilet paper, busts
- a broom across his back, nails him in the face with a potted plant, and
- pokes him with a metal pole. The Dogg rallies back, reversing a whip and
- sending Snow into a stack of empty beer kegs. He slams him into a metal
- rail, then wallops him with an empty fire extinguisher. Out the fire
- exit they go (setting off the alarm) to the parking lot. Snow is waffled
- with a snow shovel, then dumped into a wheelbarrow, which is wheeled
- through the slick snow covered ground into a steel shuttered door. Snow
- fights back, sending the Dogg into a chain link fence, then hitting him
- with a traffic pylon (Lawler: "Hey, that's a Snow Cone!") The Dogg comes
- back with a kick to the midsection, then piledrives Snow through a stack
- of wooden pallets. He covers for the pin, then runs all the way back
- into the arena to the ring to celebrate.
- Not a five star match by any means, but still damn fun to watch.
- More nonsense with Knight and the Acolytes.
- - Shawn Michaels says goodbye to his D-X pals, headed off to get whatever
- surprise he has in store for Vince McMahon. Triple H hands him the keys
- to his car, then gives him a goodbye hug. Shawn says he'll see them
- later and leaves. "Maybe ... maybe not," mutters Helmsley. "What goes
- around comes around," adds X-Pac. Uh-oh.
- Shawn tries to unlock the car door, but the key doesn't work. He heads
- back over to the door leading into the arena, but that too is locked.
- Shawn slumps his head, realizing what's about to happen. "Hey, Shawn!"
- someone calls him from behind. Shawn turns as they cut to commercial.
- (Isn't this how Joe Pesci got it in "Goodfellas"?)
- Back from the break we see Shawn laid out on the hood of a car, his face
- smashed into the windshield! He's covered with blood as paramedics try
- to free him and place a neck brace on him. A replay gives us an idea of
- what happened as Shawn is rushed by a group of figures. The cameraman
- goes down and we hear, but not see what is happening. Vince McMahon can
- be heard issuing the attack orders. (Checking the tape in slow-mo
- reveals his attackers to be the Bossman, Test, Kane, and Ken Shamrock.)
- Shawn is loaded into an ambulance and carried off.
- - MANKIND vs. THE ROCK (w/ the Corporation)
- D-X comes out to be at ringside. Cole and Lawler take a few potshots at
- the "other league" during the match, noting that their match started
- with more than two minutes left in the show, that these guys will
- actually fight a match, that there will be a winner and not just a big
- run-in no-finish, stuff like that.
- The match being no DQ, Shamrock gets in a few shots on Mankind early,
- but the Rock waves him off. The Rock does his bit where he wears the
- announcer's headset while beating on Mankind. Mankind then takes control
- and does the same. The Rock pastes him with the ring bell, getting a
- nice *ding!* The announcer's table is then demolished when the Rock puts
- Mankind through it with the Rock Bottom! Back in the ring they go
- through a series of near pins where the Rock does a move, covers for the
- pin, but Mankind kicks out. Even the Corporate Elbow fails to put him
- away. The Rock hits him with the belt (behind the referee's back,
- forgetting it's no DQ), but fails to get the pin.
- Shamrock then comes in and hits Mankind with a chair. That brings in
- Billy Gunn, who tackles Shamrock. A brawl erupts between D-X and the
- Corporation.
- Then the glass breaks, and out comes "Stone Cold" Steve Austin! Austin
- grabs the chair Shamrock dropped and pastes the Rock with it. He rolls
- Mankind onto the Rock, leaves, the ref comes over and 1 ... 2 ... 3 ...
- new World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Champion! McMahon is
- disgusted, and assures the Rock he'll get his belt back, while Mankind
- dedicates the win to his children. The show closes with Mankind running
- a victory lap around the ring.
- Now THAT is how you crown a new champion.
- - Next week: Nothing announced.
- Comments:
- Now the countdown begins to the Royal Rumble, where one must assume the
- Rock will win the belt back (though at this point I wouldn't bet the farm
- on it. Not just yet). Until then we get a couple weeks of the hardest
- working man in wrestling getting his due as the World Champion. Not
- everyone gets there, but nothing can now take away the fact that Mick Foley
- did it.
- A good show. Not great, but certainly a memorable one, enjoyable all the
- way through save for a few rough spots (Terri's "injury" in particular).
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- The Bottom Line:
- RAW beat Nitro in the ratings again this week: 5.75 (hours of 5.7 and 5.8),
- to 5.0 (hours of 5.5, 4.6 and 4.8). In the head-to-head hours Nitro only
- had a 4.7. Both show's ratings were up this week, perhaps because the
- "Monday Night Football" season is over. This was RAW's highest rating ever,
- and I believe was the highest overall rating for either show. Tony
- Schiavone's comments about Mankind may have had the desired affect, though,
- as Nitro had more viewers than RAW in the five minute overrun. I think the
- WWF would be content to concede that five minute overrun if it continues to
- mean that RAW still clobbers Nitro every week, as they have virtually every
- Monday for the past five or six months. WCW doesn't seem to understand that
- just building to a big finish without having a good show leading up to the
- end isn't going to help them win anytime soon.
- That's assuming WCW cares about beating the WWF. If they don't, then
- pleasing their fans, while still being profitable, should be their top
- priority. I'll leave it up to you all to decide if that's what they're
- doing right now.
- [Ratings courtesy 1Wrestling.Com.]
- Sorry this is so late. It's about 15 below zero here in Minnesota, and I've
- spent the better part of the last two days helping people start cars and
- working extra time to cover for late co-workers. I've had to type this up
- in interrupted bits and pieces.
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1999 by
- John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those
- of "Internet Access, Inc". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for
- info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week.
- Volume One, Number 164 of the "Monday Night Recap", January 4th, 1999.
- ~~~~
- Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #230
- April 10th, 2000
- The Opening Word:
- No point in delaying the inevitable. Let's get to the big show ...
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- WCW Monday Nitro:
- Live/Taped: Live.
- Length: Two Hours+.
- Location: Denver, Colorado.
- Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson & Mark Madden.
- HOUR ONE:
- - No changes so far, as the company logo is still the same. The opening is
- actually the previous version featuring a Nitro Girl or two who are no
- longer with the company.
- Now we're in the arena. WCW's gotten itself a Titan-Tron of its own, and
- a very RAW-esque pyro display. Big crowd for the grand unveiling, though
- as usual a third or half the arena is cut off by the large entryway.
- Numerous WCW wrestlers have gathered in the ring, in their street
- clothes, bringing to mind the Nitro not too long ago where Jeff Jarrett
- announced he was the new WCW Commissioner. (That's the show where the
- announcers made fools of themselves by saying nothing like that had ever
- happened, when the exact same thing had happened the week before on RAW,
- as the McMahon-Helmsley Era kicked off.) The Wall has a new look. Why is
- Rick Steiner out there with all these (presumably) young guys? Jeff
- Jarrett, the Chosen One, gets to speak first. Slap nuts and so forth. He
- introduces "The Power That Is," Vince Russo. Those who've seen Russo
- before ... see Russo again. Those who haven't get their first like at the
- guy: one of those types who somehow manages to be skinny yet have a beer
- gut at the same time. Russo's theme music is "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath
- (or a reasonable facsimile thereof). Russo starts off by re-writing a
- little history, saying that soon after he took over in WCW they were back
- in the game (with the WWF). Then he "shoots" by saying he was held back
- by a "good old boy" network afraid of change and intent on holding him
- back. Russo talks about how the young guys there in the ring were held
- back by the older stars afraid to give up their spots. I should note that
- from word one the crowd is booing Russo, even though he's mostly saying
- the truth and talking about the old stars in the way we all think of
- them. Man, talking about doing things bass-ackwards! Russo mentions all
- the guys that have left, or were suspended by previous WCW regimes. Russo
- addresses the troops, saying this is their chance to shine.
- "Are you done yet?!" Out comes Eric Bischoff, who gets a slight pop.
- Everyone expects him to speak for the old fogies not present. Instead
- Bischoff and Russo embrace. Bischoff says he and Russo have a lot in
- common, like being screwed by the good old boys. (Huh?) He then starts
- badmouthing the old stars such as Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, Sting, Diamond
- Dallas Page and Sid Vicious. Eric says his biggest mistake was listening
- to Hulk Hogan. Backstage we see some of those stars watching on a
- monitor. Bischoff offers Russo his full support.
- Out come the old stars, who are getting big pops because they've all been
- made babyface by this angle. Eric lays into them, and I'm starting to
- feel really bad because the heels have become the babyfaces and the
- babyfaces--the future of the company--have been made heels.
- Russo really rips into Ric Flair, which really draws him heat from the
- crowd. He calls him a "piece of shit on the bottom of my shoe!" and
- promises to flush him down the toilet. Russo then asks all the WCW
- titleholders to hand their belts over, as they will "level the playing
- field" and start totally fresh. Well, this makes no sense, as the Tag
- Team, United States and Cruiserweight Titles are already held by Russo's
- guys. Jarrett has to be convinced to give his belt up. The crowd chants
- for Goldberg. Sid tells Bischoff to come get it if he wants it. Bischoff
- faces off with him, and a threat of firing later, Sid hands the belt
- over. A "scissors" reference by Bischoff no doubt fools a few smarts into
- marking out for him.
- The collective term for all these guys is the "New Blood."
- Hulk Hogan enters the building.
- - Why is this ad for DDP's book airing if he's an old fart the new regime
- doesn't care about?
- - Sting tells Hogan that Bischoff is up to no good. Hogan says he'll take
- care of it.
- - DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE (w/ Kimberly) vs. LEX LUGER (w/ Elizabeth)
- This, and a match later between Sting and Sid, are part of a mini
- tournament to choose a contender to face Jeff Jarrett for the World Title
- at Spring Stampede. Madden says giving the old guys a chance at the belt
- is his way of dividing them up, which only half makes sense. Why even
- give the old guys another shot at any of the belts? (Hell, why not just
- fire them outright?!) DDP and Luger both have their entrance music cut
- off prematurely, and Luger gets his spotlight cut when he tries to pose.
- Buff Bagwell comes out during the match to hit on Kimberly and Liz. I
- guess Buff is "New Blood," even though he's been in WCW as long as DDP.
- God, DDP looks old. DDP wins with the Diamond Cutter. (And of course
- Bischoff's best pal is back in the World Title scene! Was there any
- doubt?)
- Hogan is looking for Bischoff.
- - Curt Hennig asks Russo why he's been left out of the World Title
- Tournament, what with him being the right hand of the "Powers That Be"?
- Russo offers to make it up by giving Hennig a match with Jarrett tonight.
- If Hennig wins, he goes on to face the tournament winner at Spring
- Stampede.
- Hogan is still looking for Bischoff.
- - Tank Abbott comes out, and says the same stuff he's been saying for
- months. Bottom line: he wants Goldberg. He then starts looking for a
- target at ringside. Mark Madden helpfully points out all kinds of people
- Tank could beat up. Unfortunately for him it turns out Abbott grabs
- Madden! THIS IS THE GREATEST NITRO EVER! Tank tosses Madden in the ring.
- GOOD LORD--HIS SHIRT IS OFF! I'M BLIND ... I'M BLIND! OH VENGEFUL WRATH
- OF GOD FOR STRIKING ME DOWN THIS WAY. I swear, Madden's blubber actually
- jiggles in different directions every two inches. The word "corpulent"
- comes to mind. Madden is easily the second fattest man in all of
- professional wrestling, just behind Viscera. His gut is, of course,
- shark-belly white, with scrubby blotches of hair. The last time I saw
- something this fat and hideous, Princess Leia threw a chain around its
- neck and choked it to death!
- Jarrett is upset with Russo for having to wrestle tonight. Man, Russo
- can't act.
- Billy Kidman is intent on doing something, despite the protests of Torrie
- Wilson.
- Hogan is, yes, still looking for Bischoff. Terry Taylor says he's two
- doors down the hallway.
- - ... and it only took Hogan the whole commercial break to walk that far.
- Bischoff invites Hogan into the room to talk things over.
- - Kidman hits the ring. Uh-oh, here it comes. Kidman calls out Hogan for
- all the stuff Hogan has said about him lately. No crowd support for
- Kidman here. Hogan eventually is shown exiting the room in the back.
- (Gee, given how long it took him to find it, it should only take him an
- hour to reach the ring). In something slightly less than an hour Hogan
- comes out. Words are exchanged, and after Hogan says the wrong thing
- about Torrie, Kidman attacks! Oh man, I'm actually rooting for Hogan
- here. I know I shouldn't be, but Kidman's coming off totally as the
- whiner Hogan says he is. Hogan quickly gains the upper hand and destroys
- Kidman. Eric Bischoff then comes out with a chair. No surprise here--Eric
- whacks Hogan with the chair. Hogan is busted open. Kidman covers Hogan
- and Bischoff makes a three count. Enjoy it while it lasts gang, cuz Hogan
- won't likely give Kidman much more of a rub than that.
- Ric Flair arrives. I wonder who'll get to humiliate him? Shane Douglas?
- And what about some matches?
- HOUR TWO:
- - Hogan's blade job is obvious as hell on the replay.
- - Hogan's tearing up the joint backstage.
- - Flair, coming off much smarter than Hogan, actually watches a replay of
- the start of the show so he knows what's going down. Whose side is Terry
- Taylor on there?
- - Now Flair hits the ring, where he proceeds to "shoot" all over Russo, the
- gist of things being that guys like himself, Sting and Hogan may be old,
- but they're still great. Out comes Scott Steiner. Good lord, they're
- going to turn every irrelevant backstage story into an on-screen angle,
- aren't they? Steiner does some shooting of his own, eventually sticking
- in a pair of false teeth and doing an imitation of Flair. FINALLY, Shane
- Douglas blindsides Flair, as the announcers make a big deal about him not
- working in WCW anymore. Steiner said "shit" a lot, so that means he was
- REALLY SHOOTING, BAY-BEE! Yeah.
- Kevin Nash arrives, on crutches, all ready to get his ass kicked by some
- "New Blood" too.
- - Bret Hart is in the crowd.
- - Flair's looking for
- - "Mean" Gene interviews Shane Douglas, starting with some nonsense about
- Douglas asking for and getting his release. No, Gene, WCW fired him.
- Let's just lie to all the smarts who are supposed to be lapping this up
- whole. If you're going to "shoot," why not be consistent and use the
- whole truth, not this bastardized version that the target audience knows
- isn't correct. Ah, I'm just quibbling, but it annoys me to know that WCW
- thinks they're doing fans like us a big favor by "giving us what we
- want," when the reality is that they're not. Anyway, Douglas cusses a
- lot, so I guess that's something.
- - STING vs. SID VICIOUS
- It's funny, Sid was supposed to have the title taken from him because
- he's injured. He looks okay here. Healthwise, I mean--his wrestling
- stinks. Am I the only one noticing the irony in a show which is supposed
- to be all about the "New Blood" featuring only matches between the
- old timers? The Wall, who now has dark hair and dresses like a slob, comes
- out with a table. Referee Nick Patrick gets bumped. The Wall taps Sid
- with a steel chair, takes him outside, then chokeslams him through a
- table. The ref wakes up and counts Sid out. Damn, I half expected Russo
- to come out here and complain about the old guys not doing clean jobs!
- Flair hits the ring and calls out Douglas.
- Hogan, meanwhile, is still rampaging backstage.
- - Hogan beats up a couple teenagers. Oops--it's 3 Count. My bad. I really
- do think the swearing is starting to get a bit gratuitous now.
- - Clips from the Hollywood premiere of "Ready to Rumble." I'm surprised
- they'd even mention the movie, considering how poorly it did at the box
- office. Of course old Bischoff crony Jason Hervey is one of the
- "celebrities" shown attending the premiere. Hervey, Chucky, Arli$$,
- Dennis Rodman, KISS, Master P, Chad Brock, Megadeth ... is any of this
- stuff coming back to you yet?
- - JEFF JARRETT vs. CURT HENNIG
- Some brawling on the floor precedes the action in the ring. Nothing of
- note is happening, when suddenly Shawn Stasiak comes out ... to Curt "Mr.
- Perfect" Hennig's music no less. Stasiak mimics Hennig by carrying a
- towel and batting his chewing gum out of the air as he spits it out.
- Stasiak goes in and gives Hennig the shittiest Death Valley Driver I've
- ever seen. The ref ... bumped? ... comes to and counts the pin for
- Jarrett, after the Stroke is applied. For those of you who don't know (or
- remember, or care), Stasiak used to be "Meat" in the WWF, where he was
- fired after the company learned he was secretly tape recording the other
- wrestlers during car rides. The fact that he'd failed to get over with
- the fans didn't help things either. I can't see why WCW would hire him,
- other than Bischoff desperately needed a former WWF star to put on the
- show. The crowd reaction for this was a collective "huh?!"
- Flair's coming back out.
- - Nash looks to be talking to Scott Hall on the phone.
- - "Mean" Gene interviews Sting.
- - RIC FLAIR vs. SHANE DOUGLAS
- It was funny to watch the debut of XPW on America One this past Saturday,
- and see Douglas shoot all over WCW for firing him. Funny, because there
- he was with Chris Candido, who like a week after the footage was taped
- jumped to WCW, while holding XPW's Heavyweight Title. So Douglas turned
- on Candido, vowing to bring the title belt back to XPW. Now Douglas has
- joined Candido back in WCW. Shane's interviews are interesting and
- electrifying, but damn--how many times is the guy going to sell out for
- the almighty buck, and still expect to believe his rhetoric?! Not that I
- blame him, mind you. He is getting up there in years.
- Douglas punches, Flair low blows and chops. That's the whole match. Vince
- Russo then comes out and whacks Flair with a rubber baseball bat. Russo
- then steals Flair's Rolex. Will they bury him out in the desert next?
- Oh, the old guys are now known as the "Millionaires Club."
- Nash looks damn excited to be there. Yeah. I'm betting Vampiro gets to
- beat *him* up.
- - Schiavone thinks the tide has turned in the favor of the New Blood. Gee,
- you think? Hogan busted open, Flair hospitalized, Luger, Madden, Hennig
- and Sid beaten and humiliated. Yeah, I'd say the New Blood has a slight
- edge this week. Hudson mentions Nash, who is now on his way out, was once
- part of the Clique, insinuating that Shawn Michaels is the next guy we'll
- be seeing tonight. To show you how screwed up things are, Nash cracks a
- joke about the Dog, and the fans bark! Nash says Scott Hall is clean and
- sober and pissed off--and presumably on the road back. Nash takes credit
- for keeping Shawn Michaels from killing Russo in the WWF. He also takes
- credit for making Nitro a hit, and rattles off that old joke about
- Bischoff getting Vern Gagne's coffee. You know how you can tell he's
- shooting? SCHIAVONE ACTUALLY SAYS SO. (Memo to fans: if it's scripted, it
- ain't a shoot.) I believe I'm all shoot-speeched out tonight, m'kay?
- Here comes ... Mike Awesome? Awesome clobbers Nash with his own crutches.
- looks like ECW was able to keep Awesome from trashing their title belt,
- like WCW wanted. They do make sure to point out that he's the current ECW
- Champion, though. The crowd gives him a big "asshole!" chant, though I'm
- pretty sure few knew who he is. Awesome says he had to come check this
- party out once he heard Bischoff & Russo were back. I have no feeling
- about Awesome one way or the other, but check the online reaction and
- you'll see Awesome is, this week, pretty much the least liked guy in the
- business because of what he just did to ECW.
- Cut to Hogan, trying to reach his lawyer on his cell phone. He spots the
- cameraman and tells him to beat it, closing his limo door. Cut to another
- angle, where we see a white Hummer bearing down on the limo! Oh for
- the--now they're just messing with our heads! The Hummer crashes into the
- limo repeatedly. Eric Bischoff climbs out of the driver seat. Har har.
- Kidman was along for the ride as well.
- - Hogan, wearing a neckbrace, is being strapped down on a stretcher. Kidman
- sprays "NWO"--I mean "NB" on Hogan's chest. Umm, shouldn't there be
- someone there ARRESTING Bischoff & Kidman for vehicular assault?
- - STING vs. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE (w/ Kimberly)
- We finally get a semblance of a normal match here. Jarrett comes out to
- do color commentary. He eventually goes after Kimberly. DDP, knocked to
- the floor, goes after Jarrett, with the referee following. If there's any
- doubt that the New Blood are supposed to be heels, Vampiro comes in and
- gives Sting the Nail in the Coffin. DDP goes back in and covers for the
- pin. Then, inevitable now that Russo is back in charge, Jarrett smashes
- his guitar over Kimberly's head.
- - Bischoff & Russo congratulate Jarrett, then send him back out to annoy
- the fans. Slap nuts and so forth. Here comes DDP. Then Scott Steiner.
- Then Lex Luger. Buff Bagwell. Vampiro. The Wall. Sting. Booker T. Ernest
- Miller. The New Blood stands triumphant. Bischoff & Russo stand in the
- entryway, observing their handiwork.
- Hey, there's Bret Hart, and even though we've gone way over the usual
- time, NOW they suddenly have to cut away.
- - This Wednesday: Nothing announced.
- - Next week: Nothing announced.
- Comments:
- I can already see WCW getting positive reviews for this show. I guess it's
- nice to be excited when a show as bad as Nitro has been finally shows some
- improvement. This show was a change from the stale WCW of the last eighteen
- months. But how much of a change was it? Here's a quick question to ask
- yourself: what will WCW do next week?
- Err ... umm ... uhh ...
- Yeah, I thought so.
- If ever a show defined the term "hot-shotting" this was it. You can't
- reintroduce Bischoff & Russo again next week. You can't strip all the title
- belts again next week. You can't keep digging up guys you've fired or
- suspended to bring back. There's only so many guys WCW can *steal* from ECW
- (and don't fool yourself, that's exactly what they did--check the big news
- sites). There's only so many WWF cast-offs out there you can bring in. Eric
- can't crash a Hummer into Hulk Hogan's limo each week. All of these things
- were hot angles, and made for an action-packed show, but what about the
- longterm direction of WCW? Look past all that stuff that WCW can't do every
- show, or even every once in a while, and ask what WCW did to change to
- foundation of the company?
- Err ... umm ... uhh ...
- Yeah, I thought so.
- All the old guys are still on top--don't let the angle fool you. The guys
- who should have been heels have been made faces, and will get the big
- babyface wins over the younger heels, whose "rubs" off those bigger stars
- won't amount to much if they don't get in the final word. Does anyone truly
- believe Hogan won't come back and crush Kidman? Or that Ric Flair will have
- his way with Shane Douglas? I know some of you are thinking the end result
- is what we've all hoped for anyway, that we're finally seeing some of these
- dream storylines (like the Douglas/Flair feud, happening now a good five
- years too late) but I'm not quite convinced things are going to end up the
- way they should. We're not talking about giving people the rub here, we're
- talking about WCW desperately needing to get rid of certain guys, and the
- way things stand now, those very guys are the ones who will come out on top
- down the road--AND THE FANS ARE CHEERING THEM ON!
- God, I hope Kidman and Vampiro and Booker and some of the others can use
- this to elevate their stock, but I'm still not convinced it'll happen.
- Especially not if they're all being booed by the average fan, who just wants
- to see a good guy he can cheer for. Right now Hulk Hogan is that good guy.
- I'm still trying to figure out the logistics of a feud that has 50 guys AND
- the two guys running the company as heels on one side, and a half dozen
- aging babyfaces on the other. Why didn't Bischoff and Russo send that ring
- full of guys after Sid, Sting, DDP and Luger right at the start, stomping
- them into little puddles? Or, as I mentioned above, just give them their
- walking papers?
- Even if we suppose a miracle happens and all those old guys have decided to
- bow out (hah!), putting the younger guys over for good. What then? I'd
- assume the "New Blood" would all start feuding amongst themselves, with half
- of them turning babyface, creating the, you know, MATCHES we're supposed to
- tune in and see every week. Of course this is what WCW has to do to assure
- their future, but it only really works if those old guys are truly jobbed
- out. Somehow I doubt that's gonna happen.
- So at best he hope for "the rub" on a few of the guys to take, and that WCW
- thinks up some new and fresh angles to keep things going. To be honest,
- there were no signs of that kind of improvement this week. The show was all
- shoots and swerves and booking for the Internet fans. Alas, Bischoff & Russo
- don't seem to know how to do a simple storyline, one that's interesting and
- entertaining and doesn't rely on a wink to the smart fans to get over. Or
- any of those WRESTLING matches the kids seem to like.
- Of all the "new eras" WCW has started in the last year, this was the best.
- Hell, it was at least entertaining, if you could ignore the fact that they
- were doing everything wrong. Let me repeat: the show was entertaining.
- That's the first time in months I've been able to say that. I can't say any
- of it was surprising, though, as everything played out the way we've all
- been assuming for the past three weeks (which, I guess, is in its own way a
- surprise, since Bischoff & Russo kept telling us we'd have no idea what they
- were going to do. Turns out the Internet had the whole show pegged pretty
- well). Even the surprise returns and debuts were all old news on the
- Internet by the start of the show. But still, it's something to look at
- positively, I guess. Too bad all those problems that has sunk WCW lower and
- lower are all still there. Don't kid yourself, they're still there.
- Maybe what really bugged me is how much this show looked like the first few
- Russo put on when he initially came in. Shoots, wrestlers jumping ship,
- bashing the old guys, stuff like that. The only thing we didn't get was a
- liberal dose of T&A (which I suppose he's saving for next week). The only
- thing that's different this time around is Russo's getting the cooperation
- of the older guys--due no doubt to the presence of Bischoff. I'm sure Eric
- not only showed them that it needed to be done, but as in the case of Hogan,
- play your cards right and you'll still come out on top.
- So you ask me why I'm not convinced this is the first step on the road of a
- glorious comeback for WCW? Because the show looks just like it did when
- Russo first took over, and look how bad that got. And the fan reaction thus
- far? The same as it's was when Kevin Nash became booker, when Bischoff was
- removed, when Vince Russo came in, when Russo was removed and Kevin Sullivan
- took over, when Sullivan was removed ... optimism always runs rampant for
- the first "new WCW" show. I'll let you know if I feel any more optimistic in
- three or four weeks, once we've moved beyond the opening fireworks. WCW
- hyped this show through the roof, and even I'll admit, they did deliver. Now
- let's see if Bischoff & Russo can deliver on their *real* job, that being to
- turn WCW around.
- Well, let the flames begin. I'm sure that because I didn't mark out for
- Bischoff & Russo, or Shawn Stasiak & Mike Awesome, that I'm biased against
- WCW or something. What did I like about the show, you might ask? Well, for
- the first time in almost a year there was more worth watching than not. I
- enjoyed seeing Madden get his fat ass kicked. And that bit with Bret Hart at
- the very end was a nice storyline twist. I liked that.
- Goldberg would have been better, though.
- No wait, I take it all back. Whoo-hoo, Nitro was awesome! Can I get a letter
- posted on the Torch site now?
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- WWF RAW is WAR:
- Live/Taped: Live.
- Length: Two Hours+.
- Location: Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.
- Hosted By: Jim Ross & Jerry "The King" Lawler.
- WWF RAW:
- - Good lord, it's Randy Savage! He's come out and shoots all over Vince
- McMahon. Linda McMahon sold him all her stock, so he now controls the
- WWF. Savage says he's the one who lowered the briefcase, and he ran over
- Steve Austin. Stephanie McMahon dumps Triple H and asks Savage to marry
- her. Vince McMahon swears a lot. Jim Ross says everyone's shooting.
- Savage finally announces he's passing the torch to--
- --or maybe not.
- - The Rock makes his way to the ring. He cues us some clips from SmackDown!
- This being the heart of Rock country, the Rock wants a shot at the WWF
- Championship tonight.
- Vince McMahon comes out. His Titan-Tron entrance video now contains "Evil
- Mr. McMahon" brand clips. Vince and Rock have a tense exchange over a
- chair McMahon is carrying. Vince says the Rock won't get a shot at the
- title tonight, but he will get a shot at earning a title match, against
- an opponent to be named later, tonight in a steel cage. Said Ominous
- Steel Cage lowers partway from the ceiling. Vince says the reason he
- turned on The Rock at WrestleMania was because the Rock, who Vince claims
- to have "made" back during their "Corporate Champion" days, never thanked
- Vince for turning him into a superstar. He says that without him, the
- Rock might have succeeded, but only as the next Doink, Gobbledygooker or
- Bastion Booger! The Rock owes all his success to Vince, says Vince. The
- Rock tells him to shove what he thinks up his ass. That prompts Vince to
- go off on a weird rant about the Rock and the anal fixation he has.
- Someone should tell Vince how to pronounce "feces." Vince says if you
- take all that feces from the fans in the arena, and stick it in an oven,
- then we'll all smell what the Rock is cooking!
- Out comes Triple H, Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley and Shane McMahon. In the
- ring, Vince tries a blindside attack on the Rock with the chair, but the
- Rock catches him and nails him with the chair instead. The others charge,
- but the Rock holds them at bay with the chair. They collect Vince, and
- the McMahon family exits up the ramp.
- - ROAD DOGG/X-PAC (w/ Tori) vs. EDGE/CHRISTIAN
- A short match, which sees X-Pac pin Christian after Road Dogg nails him
- with a belt. New TAGteamCHAMPIONSoftheWO--whoops--referee Earl Hebner is
- out to alert the other ref. Rather than reverse the decision per se, the
- ref does the wise thing and says the match will continue. Mere seconds
- later X-Pac is pinned. You know, my mind had so quickly acclimated to the
- notion of X-Pac & Road Dogg holding the belts that when I updated my site
- late Monday night, I actually blocked out the switcheroo and put up that
- they had won the belts. Yoiks! Now you know why people hate Dusty
- Finishes.
- There's the Godfather and his Ho's. I saw the documentary "Pimps Up, Ho's
- Down" again on HBO over the weekend, and am more convinced than ever that
- that's where they came up with the Godfather character.
- - Taped earlier in the day, Terri Runnels tries to make amends with the Kat
- by offering her an expense-free trip to the beauty salon. Oh man, talk
- about your OBVIOUS set-ups, and we'll have to sit through the whole show
- before it's done playing out.
- - THE GODFATHER (w/ Ho's) vs. KURT ANGLE
- Angle does this great bit where he says he was an Olympic champion
- because of abstinence. He then offers the Godfather a condom. "You can
- prance, and you can dance, but when if comes to 'relations,' keep it in
- your pants!" Too funny. Not even Angle, though, can get much of a match
- out of the Godfather. Angle with the easy win.
- Just as Terri & the Kat left the building, Eddie Guerrero and Chyna
- cruised in. Chyna's wearing her disco pants again.
- Scotty Too Hotty and Rikishi are joined by Tazz. Rikishi decides to back
- dat ass up. Lawler notes there should be a beeping sound.
- - The Big Show's got another goofy gimmick on tap, which he once again
- previews only for Shane McMahon. When did the Big Show become Stevie
- Richards?
- - RIKISHI PHATU/SCOTTY TOO HOTTY/TAZZ vs. THE RADICALZ
- Grandmaster Sexay is out with an injury, following the attack at the
- hands of the Big Show last week. Not too long into this match everyone
- pairs off into what may be upcoming PPV matches. Rikishi and Chris Benoit
- go toe-to-toe. Tazz and Perry Saturn go at it. That leaves Scotty and
- Dean Malenko in the ring, with Hotty managing to slap the Texas
- Cloverleaf on Malenko (oh, the indignity). Saturn makes the save and Dean
- covers for the pin.
- Triple H is up next, to defend the WWF Championship against a mystery
- opponent. I assumed it's Kane (forgetting that Kane is out with a broken
- hand).
- Terri & the Kat are at the beauty salon and *ugh*--just get it over with.
- WWF WAR ZONE:
- - TRIPLE H (w/ Stephanie & Shane) vs. ???
- Triple H acts all concerned, until we learn this is all a joke to give
- him an easy night. His opponent is one of the members of Kaientai! Triple
- H is then genuinely concerned when he realizes that they're being
- accompanied by the Acolytes!
- TRIPLE H (w/ Stephanie & Shane) vs. TAKA MICHINOKU (w/ & the APA)
- Shane is upset, and a shoving match with the ref doesn't improve his
- mood. Shane is chased from rigside by Faarooq & Bradshaw. The Acolytes
- then stand at ringside, ready to fend off any outside interference. Taka
- is a house afire, taking the fight to Triple H. Chops and kicks have the
- Game reeling. The crowd is rooting Taka on! Eventually Triple H takes
- over, using his sheer size (compared to Taka) to dominate. He starts
- getting a bit rough, and referee Hebner steps in. He and Triple H get
- into a shoving match. The crowd is excited, seeing this as a sign that
- the hot-headed Hebner might just screw over Triple H. Helmsley start
- demolishing Taka down on the floor. Suddenly Funaki nails him with a
- baseball slide coming out of the ring. Triple H is sent flying into the
- Acolytes. They deliver the obligatory beatdown. Hebner, who couldn't
- possibly have missed all this, is letting it go. Back in the ring they
- send him. Funaki hits a drop-kick off the top. Taka follows with a
- moonsault. 1 ... 2 ... thr--NO! The crowd is on their feet!
- Here come Shane & Vince McMahon. He worms his way past the Acolytes,
- getting them turned around, setting them up for a blindside attack by the
- Big Bossman & Bull Buchanan!
- Taka, meanwhile, is still taking the fight to Triple H. His window of
- opportunity has passed, though, and Triple H turns a huracanrana attempt
- into a powerbomb, then puts him away with the Pedigree. Damn, but that
- was a hot match, and pretty good to boot. Too bad it'll get lost in all
- the hub-bub over Nitro this week. Taka, Funaki and the APA all get
- stomped for daring to try to one-up the McMahon family.
- - The WWF's Kane funny car won a race over the weekend.
- - Trish Stratus, in retaliation for nearly being put through a table by the
- Dudley Boyz last Thursday, leads T(est) & A(lbert) to the Dudleyz
- dressing room. T & A kick their asses.
- - T & A (w/ Trish Stratus) vs. THE HARDY BOYZ
- Sometimes you have to pull the plug on a gimmick going nowhere. T & A and
- Stratus may be one of those gimmicks. I seem to recall these four having
- a really good match on SmackDown! a few weeks ago. Maybe it was Edge &
- Christian instead of the Hardyz. Anyway, this one just goes through the
- motions, with Albert going down to a Twist of Fate, followed by the
- Swanton Bomb. After the Hardyz leave, the Dudleyz run in. Test takes a
- 3-D ride. They set up a table, intent on putting Stratus through it, but
- Buh-Buh goes into his orgasmic trance a bit too early. Albert takes out
- D-Von. Buh-Buh is then sent through the table. Pairing the Dudleyz with
- these guys, after their competition at WrestleMania, certainly seems like
- a demotion.
- New Chef Boyardee ad featuring the Big Show.
- - VAL VENIS vs. THE BIG SHOW
- Big Show is dressed this time as Venis, complete with shaggy wig and
- towel. "Hello ladies. Now ladies, we all know it's not the motion in the
- ocean, but the size of the boat that turns you on!" That would have
- worked so better if he'd said "dinghy." He invites them to ride his
- Titanic, rather than Val's S.S. Minnow. Venis fires back that the Titanic
- sank, and that it wasn't an iceberg that did it, but the Big Show's
- dimpled ass. Awww, the Big Showbowski's feeling are hurt! Show goes
- postal on Venis, and is DQ'ed for choking him with his wig. Eh.
- - CHRIS JERICHO vs. EDDIE GUERRERO (w/ Chyna)
- Jericho asks who is the man in their relationship, and who has the bigger
- package? Another good match, with the crowd finally waking up from that
- slumber they've been in for the last half hour. Jericho comes damn close
- to securing the win, avoiding all kinds of cheating by Eddie, but things
- go awry when the ref goes down, and Chyna comes in to deliver a low blow
- and DDT. Eddie's pin cover is academic. You can literally see and hear
- the energy drain from the crowd. Bad finish.
- - The cage is being lowered. ANOTHER commercial?!
- - The Kat, having been handed a drugged drink by Terri when we last saw
- her, wakes up to see that she's had her hair butchered and tons of tacky
- makeup applied to her face. They even gave her a little poodle dog with a
- bad hair job. Oh yeah, that was worth waiting two hours for. One of these
- two better get naked at Backlash.
- - THE ROCK vs. ???
- In a way this is a well-written counterpoint to the match which started
- the second hour, but in another way it's part of an hour which, two
- matches aside, has been really boring. The Rock's opponent(s) turn out to
- be ...
- THE ROCK vs. THE BIG BOSSMAN/BULL BUCHANAN
- The Rock should be dead meat, and for most of this match he is. He gets a
- break, though, when Buchanan hits the Bossman with a springboard
- clothesline. Buchanan goes down to a Samoan Drop. He then goes after the
- Bossman, but the Bossman counters with a sidewalk slam. The match is
- starting to run too long now, given who's involved. The Rock is able to
- take out both men, as they've foregone cooperating. A Rock Bottom finally
- puts Buchanan away for the pin.
- Shane, Vince & Triple H enter the cage. The Rock is floored by Triple H,
- who is wearing a pair of brass knuckles. Total beatdown here. Even Earl
- Hebner gets knocked on his can. The Rock is busted open, and it's a
- gusher. Triple H gets right in the Rock's face and says he's through
- playing games with him. Something gets bleeped. Triple H Pedigrees him on
- a chair. Talk about your MANLY bladejobs--there's a puddle of blood a
- foot wide on the mat!
- The Acolytes come charging in for the save and a huge pop, but it's too
- little, too late to help the Rock. He's earned his shot at Backlash, but
- at what price?
- - This Thursday: Nothing announced.
- - Next week: Nothing announced.
- Comments:
- I wish to hell the WWF could have scrapped the Backlash PPV. With so little
- time between it and WrestleMania you can tell the WWF has had to pull itself
- back. There wouldn't have been enough time to develop a good, main event
- level storyline. So instead we get a Rock/Triple H rematch, which we all
- assumed would happen five minutes after WrestleMania was over. That's why
- the last two weeks have seemed so boring. They're just going through the
- motions, setting up something we immediately saw coming. Anything new will
- have to wait until after Backlash.
- I hope.
- It probably couldn't have come at a worse time, what with WCW making the
- waves they are. Good or bad, WCW is at least catching the people's
- attention. It's obvious the WWF doesn't see them as a threat yet. Just look
- at last week, and the few weeks before it. Even with ratings slightly down
- for the WWF, they're still beating WCW by three or four ratings points on
- Monday nights. But this Monday Night War has always been about impressions,
- and there are plenty of fans out there who have the impression that the WWF
- is in a slump right now, and that WCW is beginning a hot streak. Ignore
- that, like the WWF seems to be doing, and the impression could become the
- reality.
- Fortunately for the WWF, WCW has problems coming up with the NBA playoffs on
- TNT, which will disrupt their schedule, and hinder whatever momentum they
- may be looking to gain. Hopefully once Backlash is past the WWF can kick it
- back into high gear.
- Listen to me--I sound like I'm declaring the WWF dead! Nothing could be
- further from the truth. This was, overall, a pretty good show. Lots of
- strong wrestling and good matches.
- There were notable negatives, though. The opening interview, executed well,
- didn't really amount to anything. These lengthy interviews have to go back
- to setting up things for the show, and the storylines in general. This one
- included the announcement of the main event, but the main event didn't
- actually come about because of the interview.
- Speaking of the main event, as good as it was, it was still one of those
- matches most people will write off because of who was involved. I know not
- everyone (not even myself) will buy the Big Bossman and Bull Buchanan as
- main event material.
- The same goes for the Triple H/Taka match. I really enjoyed that one, but I
- can see a lot of people complaining about Taka in such a spot, and to an
- extent I agree. Going up against the end of Nitro, and seeing all the
- hot-shotting they were doing, the WWF might have been forgiven in doing a
- hot-shot angle of their own there. Perhaps have Triple H lose the WWF
- Championship to someone, then win it back at SmackDown! That would have
- gotten the fans talking.
- The one angle on the show which I thought was totally DOA was the running
- clips of Terri & the Kat. That stuff should be saved for Heat.
- A good show this week, but up against all the stuff that happened on Nitro,
- not one likely to have made much of an impression.
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- The Bottom Line:
- Spring Stampede is this Sunday. The only match we know of so far is DDP vs.
- Jarrett for the WCW Heavyweight Title. Talk about choosing the lesser of two
- evils--who do you pick here?! Do you go with the guy on top for WCW's lowest
- buyrates ever, or do you put the belt around Bischoff's best friend, a guy
- who was champ last year when WCW started sliding into the crapper?
- Pencil in matches between Sid & the Wall, Sting & Vampiro, Flair & Douglas,
- and Hogan vs. Kidman. They've also got to somehow fill all those vacant
- titles. If you really feel inspired to drop $30 on this show, be warned: if
- Bischoff & Russo don't like the results, they may just act like the show
- never happened next Monday on Nitro!
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 2000 by
- John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those
- of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how
- to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week.
- Volume One, Number 230 of the "Monday Night Recap", April 10th, 2000.
- ~~~~
- Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #214
- December 20th, 1999
- The Opening Word:
- Vince Russo is slowly going nuts.
- I caught a bit of his WCW Live appearance last week, and read reports of the
- overall interview. The most notable thing to come out of it is the fact that
- he can't take any criticism whatsoever. Replying to Dave Meltzer calling him
- "retarded" (which actually isn't true--Meltzer said the booking involving
- Tank Abbott was retarded), Russo called Meltzer a "jackass". He then went
- off on a rant about Meltzer being a mark for himself, and that he's a lowly
- sheet writer, while *Vince Russo* is the head writer for WCW. Geez, talk
- about the pot calling the kettle black!
- (In an interesting side note, Meltzer's main rival Wade Keller criticized
- Dave for using the word "retarded", saying "It's insensitive, classless,
- and shows a real lack of vocabulary." Bob Ryder weighed in with his
- thoughts as well, of course defending Russo ... overlooking the fact that
- Russo called Meltzer a "jackass". Do ANY of these people actually listen to
- anything they're saying?)
- Russo went on to lay blame on WCW's sagging ratings everywhere but where it
- counted--himself. He blamed most of WCW's woes on "Standards & Practices"
- coming in and preventing him from doing what he'd like to do. Examples given
- were no women vs. men matches, and not being able to call Rhonda Singh "fat"
- for fear of offending fat people. No doubt you're thinking to yourself "how
- does not being able to call Rhonda "fat" actually *hurt* the ratings?" As
- Meltzer pointed out, on the show which so angered Russo, nothing Standards &
- Practices has done has actually prevented an angle or storyline which would
- have, you know, DRAWN VIEWERS. As if WCW is floundering in the ratings
- because they don't have Lenny & Lodi on TV. The only thing "handcuffing"
- Russo is his inability to come up with a storyline, angle or gimmick that
- interests the fans. It's very telling that the only way Russo thinks he can
- draw in viewers is with T&A and controversial angles. Clearly he's given up
- on attempts at solid storytelling and good wrestling matches.
- But if he brings in the Ultimate Warrior, that'll turn everything around,
- right?
- Responding to criticisms that Starrcade didn't get a decent build-up, Russo
- said all the big storylines are going to come out of the PPV. Maybe it's
- just me, but does it make sense to save everything for a show whose build-up
- was so poor that you've guaranteed no one will watch it? (and then screw
- over those few who do buy it by turning it into a commercial for Nitro?)
- Bob Ryder wrote "It's easy to be a 'Monday Morning Quarterback', and I guess
- everybody wants to be one these days."
- No Bob ... all we want is a WCW that's worth our damn time to watch. Vince
- Russo hasn't given us that yet, and your cheerleading assurances aside, we
- haven't yet seen any sign he's capable of doing that. We were supposed to be
- fair and give him six months to turn things around. Well, we're more than a
- third of a way into those six months, and things aren't getting better,
- they're getting worse. That's why Dave Meltzer (who I don't always agree
- with) has been critical of Russo's booking. Whether it's good wrestling,
- engaging storylines, interesting characters, or a simple idea that could
- draw fans and business for WCW, Russo has failed to deliver on all counts.
- He claims to be saving all the good stuff for the Starrcade PPV, yet
- completely failed to do anything to interest fans in seeing that PPV. No
- matter what he has in mind it will have to be presented to fans on a Monday
- night against a red-hot WWF. ("Monday Night Football" also features a
- monster game between Minnesota and Green Bay, with divisional control and
- playoff survival on the line.) Russo's failure to make Starrcade a "must
- see" show works more against his objectives than any "Standards & Practices"
- or second-guessing from critics.
- It's easy to go on the offensive against your critics when your company is
- floundering, and blame some of that poor performance on said critics. I
- think what WCW is overlooking, though, is that most of those critics are
- just fans. Guys like myself, Dave Meltzer--in fact most of those writing
- negatively about WCW on the Internet--we're all just fans. We want to see
- WCW be good again.
- Vince Russo needs to step back, take a breath, and do a little bit of
- assessment. He needs to figure out who WCW's audience is, and what kind of
- show he can put on to appeal to that audience. Thus far he's been trying to
- take a G-rated company and put on a PG-rated show, desperately trying to
- convince us it's hotter than the PG-13/R-rated WWF. I myself said, from day
- one, that Russo was probably the wrong man to run WCW. His writing style has
- been completely incompatible with what WCW is capable of doing. Not only has
- he failed to attract WWF fans or totally new viewers, he's been slowly
- alienating existing WCW fans.
- So with all this in mind, we turn our attention to Starrcade. WCW had been
- promising a home run with this show. Well, reviews have been somewhat
- favorable, and a couple matches praised for the hard work of the wrestlers
- involved, but in general it seemed to be an average-to-good show which
- relied upon its main event to make it either "hit" or "miss".
- In a finish straight out of the WWF's "Montreal Screwjob", "Rowdy" Roddy
- Piper interjected himself in the match and declared Bret "Hitman" Hart the
- winner the moment he put Goldberg in the Sharpshooter. And that was it. No
- earth shattering angle, no major surprise, just a rehash of an angle that
- wasn't an angle to begin with, but has been turned into an angle repeatedly
- by the WWF over the last two years. It made no sense to the fans in general,
- and was designed to make fans tune in to Nitro to get the explanation.
- Was Piper acting on his own? Did he sell out to the Powers That Be? Were he
- and Bret Hart in cahoots? Or was it that Piper did what he did to prevent
- Goldberg from winning, because Goldberg has some dark secret yet to be
- revealed? These are really the only storyline options. Which way WCW takes
- it will determine how wise it was to dredge up the Montreal finish one more
- time. A real feeling of ill will has been fostered on the part of the fans
- here with the PPV finish. Will WCW win them back, or was this just the
- latest in a long line of booking moves destined for failure?
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- WCW Monday Nitro:
- Live/Taped: Live.
- Length: Three Hours+.
- Location: Baltimore, Maryland.
- HOUR ONE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.
- - Video package from Starrcade.
- - Madusa and Spice make their way to the ring. Madusa doesn't merely have
- boobs--she has gazongas! Spice, meanwhile, has neither. Anyway, Madusa
- talks about the superiority of women. She then spots Buzzkill in the
- crowd and calls him in for a match.
- MADUSA vs. BUZZKILL
- A few moves in Buzzkill LOSES HIS WEAVE! Spice cozies up to the ref and
- throws a foreign object to Madusa. She clocks Buzzkill, then puts him
- away with the German Suplex.
- The Powers That Be talk about Hugh Morrus (he'll face Curt Hennig
- tonight) and Roddy Piper.
- Speaking of whom, Piper shows up, with his kid and hairy wife. I mean,
- oops--whoever that guys is. Looks like Bart Sawyer from Music City
- Wrestling.
- - Creative Control tell Piper he's wanted.
- Somebody in a "Scream" mask attacks Shane (Vincent) with a lead pipe
- backstage.
- - HUGH MORRUS vs. CURT HENNIG
- Morrus walks out of the match when his elderly, confused, hospital gown
- wearing father wanders out to the ring. WHAT THE F*@$?! Morrus is now off
- his game, and eventually falls victim to the Hennig-Plex. Morrus' dad
- comes back out to console him. Freakin' weird.
- Russo, in front of Piper's kid, says "I'm an asshole!", then orders Piper
- to go out and tell the fans that he (Piper) sold out. Piper launches into
- a rant, which I'd talk about, but WCW has the crowd noise cranked so loud
- that you can barely tell what he's talking about. I think he's bragging
- about how long he's been wrestling. He, Hulk Hogan and MTV made
- wrestling. (Huh?) Piper says he's going to go stick his kid out in the
- car under guard, then come back in and shoot with Russo's "condom head
- geeks!"
- - Schiavone actually explains what the "Montreal Screwjob" is, mentioning
- Vince McMahon and the WWF. He goes on to add a bit of fiction, saying
- some backstage feel it was WWF writer and current PTB, Vince Russo, who
- originally scripted that finish. Wow. Just how much past WWF history is
- this company going to use to sell their current storylines? They the
- speculate about Piper (and/or the Powers That Be) screwing Goldberg.
- Heenan thinks Piper sold out. Tenay says Piper is a man of integrity.
- - Kevin Nash comes out to "shoot". He says "the Boys" never screw one
- another (ha!). He says it's "the Boys" versus "the Office". Nash says
- "the Office doesn't give a shit about us!" and "the son-of-a-bitches
- don't even give us Social Security!" None of this is bleeped. "What
- happened at Starrcade was bullshit!" Nash says Hart "screwed one of the
- boys." "You say you're 'the Best There Is, the Best there Was, and the
- Best There Ever Will Be' ... well, you're nothing but a piece of shit!"
- His tirade complete, they "hurriedly" cut to a commercial.
- Ooh--swearing! That'll turn the ratings around real quick. I'll be
- interested in hearing Bob Ryder's defense of all this. (He'll probably
- just say "well, the WWF did it first.")
- [UPDATE: Bob says the profanity was pre-scripted, and that TNT was aware
- of this and was supposed to bleep it all out. So that makes it all okay?]
- By the way, this whole "shoot" is so absurd when you realize that it was
- Nash, as head booker, who did more than anything to ruin this company and
- hold wrestlers down this past summer. Maybe as one of "the Boys" he
- didn't screw the others over, but as booker and part of "the Office",
- Nash screwed guys over left and right. That's the problem with WCW's
- "shoots": the regular fans don't understand them, and the "smart" fans,
- who are supposed to be so impressed, know what's being said is all
- fictitious crap!
- - "During the break" footage shows Bret Hart arriving.
- Creative Control tell "Mean" Gene Okerlund that Nash shouldn't speak for
- everyone, and that Nash is one of the biggest politicians backstage there
- is.
- - JERRY FLYNN vs. TANK ABBOTT
- This is "no DQ", so the ref is almost immediately knocked out, and the
- fight is stopped because of it. Whatever. Security comes in and Flynn and
- Abbott nail them. The fans boo as security split the two apart and
- handcuff Flynn. The "match" lasted about ten seconds.
- Goldberg arrives.
- - The Revolution are out to cut a promo. Saturn says "ass". Apparently the
- wrestlers have been told to go out and swear up a storm. Douglas says
- "ass" too. Douglas orders "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan to come out and renounce
- his U.S. citizenship. Duggan comes out, but refuses to do it, saying he
- lied when he agreed to that stipulation. Duggan is stomped into the mat.
- Some of what Douglas is saying is now getting bleeped. Dean Malenko
- prepares to burn an American flag. Cue the music of the Filthy Animals,
- and they limp to the ring. Lots of crowd heat for all this.
- There's Roddy Piper and his son.
- - Piper's out. He goes into a rant about how he can no longer take part in
- the "circus" that Vince Russo is running in WCW. He basically says what
- he used to do is real, but the stuff Vince Russo has the WCW wrestlers
- doing, that's all fake. So he quits. He begins to walk out ...
- HOUR TWO Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.
- ... but Goldberg cuts him off. They have a touching moment, which is
- interrupted by the arrival of Bret Hart. Hart says he knows all about
- being screwed, and says that as far as he's concerned, he's no longer the
- WCW Champion. He'll go give it to Russo and tell him to shove it up his
- ass.
- - Hart confronts Russo (why bother with this "Powers That Be" nonsense
- anymore?) Calling the belt a "piece of crap", Hart (family man, Canadian
- legend and outspoken critic of the "adult direction" the WWF took) calls
- Russo a "piece of shit!" (Bret is such a whore for his career. Wait until
- he loses the belt, then he'll shoot all over WCW for being such filth.)
- Russo says he ordered Piper to end the PPV match as a way of paying Piper
- back for the Montreal Screwjob. Hart isn't appreciative of the gesture,
- so Russo orders Hart to defend the belt against Goldberg later tonight.
- Hart says something like "stick it straight up your ass, you piece of
- shit!", which is the first thing that gets bleeped.
- Let me just interject here that Hart has now pretty much lost all ability
- to complain about Montreal anymore. Not only have they credited Vince
- Russo instead of Vince McMahon as the driving force behind the screwjob
- (in the eyes of the general fans), Hart has also turned the whole thing
- into an angle, which loses any credibility he had with the "smart" fans.
- Vince McMahon is no longer the villain, Vince Russo is, and Hart can't
- talk about it in the negative anymore because he's making an angle of it,
- using it to further his career. It may have been a dark period of his
- life then, but he's clearly over it now (and if he isn't, he has no one
- to blame but himself for allowing it to be continually dredged up).
- - NORMAN SMILEY/MENG vs. FIT FINLAY/BRIAN KNOBBS
- This one goes all the way from the ring area to the bathrooms, and lasted
- forever. Smiley's womanly act is funny, but that's the only appeal here.
- Meng hasn't figured out that Norman is his partner, so he attacks him.
- Smiley has to help Finlay and Knobbs fight him. Smiley gets pinned after
- his head is stuffed in a toilet.
- Piper kisses his son goodbye, picks up his bat, and heads out to do some
- business.
- There's Prince Iaukea, recording a song or something. How am I supposed
- to react when Iaukea and WCW are both taking this incredibly lame angle
- so seriously?
- - THE MAESTRO (w/ Symphony) vs. EVAN KARAGIAS
- The Maestro wins here when Symphony takes a bump from Karagias. Evan goes
- to check on her, and the Maestro rolls him up for the pin. Turns out
- Symphony was faking. Evan just has no luck with women.
- Notice how the PTB's office always looked the same? That's because it was
- a set, which Piper destroys. Yes, all those past shots of Creative
- Control standing outside the PTB office were FAKE, as were the shots of
- people trying to get in. Just random doors in the various arenas. WCW is
- no longer a wrestling promotion, it's a TV show, and the actors are
- revolting (read that any way you like).
- - Chavo Guerrero offers Evan Karagias a copy of "How To Pick Up Chicks".
- Evan pounds on him.
- - CHRIS "CHAMPAGNE" KANYON vs. BAM BAM BIGELOW vs. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE
- Kanyon's gimmick is that he now brags about being in Hollywood. DDP and
- Bigelow (who both lost in singles matches to Kanyon last week) team up to
- take him out. DDP then turns on Bigelow and plants him with the Diamond
- Cutter. Page walks out. Kanyon's manager Mr. Biggs tries to hand him a
- briefcase as a weapon, but the ref intercepts it. As he's tied up, Kanyon
- grabs a champagne bottle at ringside and bashes it over Bigelow's head.
- Bigelow is busted open. Kanyon scores the pin.
- There's Kevin Nash.
- - PPV stills of Sting being injured by Lex Luger. Sting will be out several
- weeks.
- - CREATIVE CONTROL vs. THE OUTSIDERS
- Scott Hall comes out on crutches. Nash takes a beating for a few moments,
- until Hall comes in and starts swinging away with the crutch. Injury or
- not, the guy looks just fine. No winner--not really even a match.
- Lex Luger is up in the rafters dressed as Sting. Liz is there too.
- There's Chris Benoit.
- HOUR THREE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.
- - JEFF JARRETT vs. CHRIS BENOIT
- This is a "Ladder match", but they actually spend most of their time
- doing spots with a chair. Benoit quickly gets the upper hand and tries to
- go for the suspended belt, but someone has tampered with the ladder. All
- the rungs keep breaking. (At least that's what's supposed to be
- happening: actually they didn't rig the ladder well enough, so Benoit has
- to really abuse it to get some of the steps to break. I actually thought
- Benoit was breaking the ladder so Jarrett couldn't use it.) Jarrett
- clobbers Benoit with a guitar. (Benoit looks really bad here, hunkering
- down to receive the guitar shot well before Jarrett delivers it. He
- stands there looking like a turtle trying to pull its head back in the
- shell!) Jarrett then pulls another ladder out from under the ring and
- retrieves the belt, becoming the new U.S. Champion. A neat angle with the
- ladder, and the match was okay, but I can't imagine this was anywhere
- near as good as the one on the PPV, which I would think pissed Benoit
- fans off.
- "Mean" Gene thinks Jarrett doctored the ladder. Jarrett swears. Curt
- Hennig then appears and says Russo wants to see Jarrett in his limo.
- - THE WALL (w/ Berlyn) vs. SID VICIOUS
- I hate when guys split up, and we all know they've split up, but the
- promotion takes forever to make it official. Early on it's all Sid,
- beating on the Wall in and out of the ring. Berlyn distracts him a few
- times, allowing the Wall to get in some offense. Berlyn then tries a
- drop-kick, but hits the Wall instead. DQ. The Wall and Sid make goofy
- faces at each other, then shake hands. Sid's antics here are straight out
- of Hulk Hogan's playbook circa 1986. The only thing he doesn't do is cup
- his hand to his ear to listen to the fans' cheers.
- There's half of Vince Russo, seated in his limo and telling Jeff Jarrett
- that something big he couldn't tell him about before is coming down later
- tonight. Jarrett is shocked, but immensely pleased. Yup, someone's
- turning heel tonight.
- - Disco Inferno is brought before Tony Marinara's dad, played by some
- generic Italian actor. Disco can either La Familia, or end up in a coma.
- Where is this taking place, how are we seeing it, and why would the Mob
- allow their private business to be filmed and broadcast?
- - THE VARSITY CLUB (w/ "Leia Meow") vs. HARLEM HEAT
- "Leia Meow" is Kimona Wanalaya's imaginative new name. She's hot, but no
- more so than the twenty other women on wrestling TV right now. Kevin
- Sullivan, Rock Steiner and Mike Rotunda take turns doing color commentary
- at the desk. Rotunda looks okay in the ring, but that doesn't excuse the
- fact that I was content if I never saw the guy again. Same goes for
- Sullivan. I'd really like to hear WCW's explanation for all this, I
- really would. The match lasts forever, with Midnight showing up late in
- the match to argue with Stevie Ray. Rotunda rolls Stevie up from behind
- for the pin. They bring back the Varsity Club ... and split up Harlem
- Heat. Meltzer's right--this IS retarded. That's a joke.
- Then out of nowhere PG-13 attack the Varsity Club. "PG-13" is Wolfie D
- and J.C. Ice--known to most newer wrestling fans as the rappers for the
- Nation of Dmonination in the WWF. They've also been in ECW, and are
- mainstays on the Memphis wrestling scene. J.C. Ice is Jamie Dundee, son
- of "Superstar" Bill Dundee. This background info, by the way, is probably
- a whole hell of a lot more interesting than these guys really are. If you
- still don't know them, think of a cross between the Insane Clown posse
- and Too Cool.
- David Flair's girlfriend gets hit on by Jerry Only of the Misfits
- backstage. She knees him in the nads, then bites his nose. Vampiro and
- the others look concerned as she runs away giggling.
- This show has really sucked so far.
- - David Flair and his Gal hit the ring. There they go nuts, knock out
- announcer David Penzer with a crowbar, then call out Vampiro. Vampiro
- comes out, ostensibly to smooth things over, but then he stupidly turns
- his back and badmouths Flair. *Whank!* Jerry Only suffers the same fate
- when he tries to make the save. I'm no fan of Vampiro, but even I think
- he deserves better than this.
- - The Misfits go into spasms as the EMT's check them over.
- - "Mean" Gene is out to interview Buff Bagwell. Ah, shit, here we go again.
- Bagwell delivers a pedestrian interview. Okerlund then not-too-subtly
- moves on to the whole Kimberly thing, and Bagwell's fight backstage with
- DDP. Points to WCW for finally explaining this to the fans--minus points
- for it being such a tired angle. Bagwell acts like he doesn't want to
- talk about it, but quickly enough starts "hubba-hubba-ing" over what a
- hottie she is. Out comes DDP and the "real" fight is on. This angle has a
- problem in that DDP's role in WCW right now is so muddled. He's, at best,
- a "tweener", battling David Flair as a babyface, but also fighting Sting
- as a heel. Bagwell is a babyface the fans don't care much about, and his
- position here is the heel meddling in DDP's marriage. DDP should be the
- babyface fighting for the honor of his wife, but he's coming off as the
- heel. It's all a mess. WCW could make this work if they 1) pull DDP out
- of all the other angles/feuds he's in, and 2) have Kimberly appear on TV
- to stand by her man. Make Bagwell an outright heel too. No matter how
- they do it, though, this is all really just a rehash of what DDP did
- earlier this year with Scott Steiner.
- Roddy Piper is saying his goodbyes to the lockerroom. Piper The Actor
- takes over, delivering a soliloquy regarding the Writers trying to make
- phonies out of the wrestlers in WCW, and how they need to band together
- and demand higher wages and medical insurance and job security. WORKERS
- OF THE WORLD UNITE! Piper wishes them a Merry Christmas and leaves. This
- lengthy bit was just brutal on the live crowd, judging from their vocal
- reaction, clearly heard in the background as the piece dragged on.
- Jeff Jarrett settles in to watch the main event on a monitor.
- - BRET "HITMAN" HART vs. GOLDBERG
- Goldberg's entrance takes us well past the top of the hour. Whatever
- we've had to sit through this whole awful show for better happen soon.
- Hart and Goldberg lock up, and for a few minutes engage in an okay match.
- Cue the Outsiders, carrying Scott Hall's crutches. Looks like they've
- come to nail Hart, who screwed Goldberg over at the PPV. But wait ...
- they hit Goldberg instead. And Hart joins in! Hart covers, at which point
- Roddy Piper comes in. Piper lays in some weak shots on Hart, then covers
- Goldberg to save him from further damage. The ref, bumped just before the
- Outsiders came in, makes a three count, giving ... Piper ... the win?!
- Chalk it up to usual WCW incompetence, as Hart is declared the winner.
- I guess the belt was really considered vacant, so Hart is now WCW Champ
- for the second time.
- In comes Jarrett to deliver the redundant guitar shot on Piper. Now he
- has some spraypaint, and squiggles some incomprehensible lines on Piper
- and Goldberg's backs. Schiavone deciphers it for us: "it's the NWO!"
- "N ... W ... O" barks the PA system, and their music fires up. The NWO is
- back and better(?) than ever, holding the World, U.S. and Tag Team Titles
- (TV Title too if Hall is still recognized as the champ). We've run way
- over the usual finish time, as Vince Russo's master plan is finally
- revealed.
- - This Thursday: Nothing announced.
- - Next week: New Year's Evil.
- Comments:
- Well, there you go. Is it what *you* were expecting? Or hoping for? The big
- change in direction for WCW is ... the return of the NWO. Not exactly an
- original idea. Nor is turning Bret Hart heel for that matter. (Remember when
- Hart was a member of the NWO before, but wouldn't admit it, saying he never
- wore the official t-shirt?)
- Not that this is a disaster by any means. It all played out very well, and
- for the first time in a long time they were able to build up to the end of
- the show. We knew something was coming, I just don't think anyone guessed
- exactly what. Hart turning heel was the main assumption by almost everyone
- going into the show. Myself, I though maybe Piper had screwed Goldberg
- because he knew Goldberg was secretly in cahoots with the Powers That Be.
- That would have been an interesting angle, in my opinion. Turns out I was
- almost right, I just picked the wrong guy. WCW went the obvious route (and
- probably the better one, moneywise) by turning Hart.
- But bringing the NWO back, I dunno. Can't say as I'm excited about that at
- all. We all know the NWO, well before it died a miserable, ignominious
- death, was just a lame merchandising gimmick. The NWO stopped meaning
- anything storywise probably more than a year before it died. The NWO also
- never paid off in the storylines because no one ever really beat it. None of
- the major heels of the NWO suffered significant defeats, and instead all
- turned face and left the group, causing it to slowly dwindle away and die.
- Egos prevented the NWO storyline from reaching a satisfactory conclusion.
- Now it's back, and already one can see major problems ahead. For starters,
- who's running it? Is Hart the leader, Nash, or will the Powers That Be be
- calling all the shots? And who will put an end to the NWO? Will Goldberg be
- the hero, will Hulk Hogan return to take them down, or will it be another
- case of everyone leaving the group, killing it off that way, cheating the
- fans of an emotional or interesting payoff?
- Already I'm troubled by the fact that Nash has once again finagled his way
- into a main event storyline. The guy just can't work, and refuses to play a
- straight-up heel, so once again he manipulates the story so as to put
- himself in a position where he has power, gets to act cool on TV, etc. With
- this new NWO needing time to establish itself, you can damn well guarantee
- he won't be doing any jobs for months. He was given the choice role this
- week, doing the "shoot" interview, swerving the fans by appearing to turn
- babyface, then making the show-closing announcement that the NWO was back.
- Whether he's the leader or not, he's sure acting like he is.
- And then there's Hall, who supposedly has an injured knee. Not the best idea
- to push all the way to the top a guy who is injured, and barely in any
- condition to work if he were healthy. He and Nash are two guys who should be
- phased out, but instead they have all the titles, and are once again back on
- top.
- Hart, I see better things for him, as he comes out of this with a hot feud
- with Goldberg in the making. No complaints there.
- I enjoy the comments from some regarding how WCW turned Jeff Jarrett into a
- star whereas the WWF couldn't. Well geez, it's not as if WCW has done
- anything with him here. They just imported him, unchanged, with his "Don't
- P*** Me Off" gimmick intact. The WCW fans popped for Jarrett because he was
- a WWF superstar jumping ship. Then push him to the moon and voila--there you
- are. They took a guy who was already over in the WWF, an Intercontinental
- Champion, and got him slightly more over in WCW. Not that I begrudge Jarrett
- anything. I liked him when I first saw him years ago. I hated his "Double J"
- WWF gimmick, but enjoyed a number of matches and angles he took part in. I
- was excited when he went to WCW, but he quickly went on a slide there,
- getting buried in an endless feud with Steve "Mongo" McMichael. Back to the
- WWF he went, and it was a rocky start, before he finally hit a stride with
- the gimmick he still has today. Jarrett was slowly rising in the WWF. Maybe
- he'd have reached the top, maybe not. He'd already won the IC belt, and
- perhaps wouldn't have lost it to Chyna had he not announced his pending exit
- from the company. For all we know, right now, he might have been locked in a
- feud with Chris Jericho, which wouldn't have been all that bad a thing. And
- with Steve Austin gone, and Mankind about to go, there's currently room for
- advancement to the top in the WWF. So, did WCW perform a miracle with him?
- Not really. Certainly part of Jarrett's push is to signal to other WWF
- midcarders that if they jump, and Russo is interested in you, you can get a
- decent push. But one can't take away from Jarrett his hard work of late, not
- being complacent and working hard to earn the spot he's ended up in. I can
- honestly say that, so long as there's a storyline there, Jarrett's one of
- the few guys in WCW right now I look forward to seeing.
- I wonder what the folks on the Internet are going to think of Benoit losing
- the U.S. belt so soon, and in a match so obviously inferior to the one in
- which he won it in? Benoit is the darling of the Internet. Jarrett, though,
- has converted a few new fans with his solid work as of late, especially at
- the PPV. Jarrett's win tonight was done so that every member of the new NWO
- would have a title belt around their waist. Otherwise it would have been a
- good idea to have spent a few weeks building to the rematch, giving Jarrett
- the belt then.
- Moving on from the NWO angle, you go into a massive freefall down to the
- rest of the promotion. As hot as the main event storyline this week,
- virtually everything else was terrible. Nothing seemed to click. Jarrett vs.
- Benoit was the only good match, and that was nothing special.
- So looking at the "New WCW", what exactly do we have. Obviously the
- "handcuffs" of Standards & Practices has been removed, allowing for some
- harsh language and edgier content, in an effort to give the promotion the
- illusion of "attitude". Bret Hart has turned heel, and the NWO is back. I
- credit WCW for injecting a real storyline, finally, into their main event
- tier, and for doing it in an interesting way this week. Not that this was a
- good show, mind you, but the finish was fairly hot.
- But what about next week? They can't do all this again, so whatever big
- rating they pop this week (and I think they're going to do well) can't be
- duplicated next week. Next week we're back to business as usual, with the
- only change from last week to next week being that Hart turned heel. They
- should be able to build to a hot main event at the next PPV. The rest of the
- company, though ... ? Some may say I'm looking ahead too quickly, and that I
- should just bask in the moment. What moment?! Hart turned heel, and somebody
- spraypainted "NWO". It's not as if we haven't been down this road before,
- many times. The only real change that will begin next week is that the top
- heels in the company will have matching t-shirts. That's it. And is no one
- else depressed that WCW has now opened the door for Hulk Hogan to make his
- "triumphant" return? Had it been Bischoff or Nash doing this angle a lot
- more people would have seen it for the desperation move it really is.
- I'm still looking for that sign from Russo that he can do anything with WCW.
- What's going to bring the company back from the brink? Russo had his big
- shot this week and all he could do was turn up the raunch a bit and bring
- back some old angles. Russo still hasn't shown any of the creativity he's
- supposedly famous for.
- I dunno ... I didn't hate the show this week, but didn't care much for it
- either. They tried, and I give them credit for that, but I'm still not sold
- that this company has any ideas.
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- WWF RAW is WAR:
- Live/Taped: Live.
- Length: Two Hours+.
- Location: Houston, Texas.
- WWF RAW Hosted By: Jim Ross and Michael Hayes.
- - Triple H and Stephanie Helmsley are backstage, dressed in Christmas
- regalia, in a room decorated in the same manner. No Vince or Shane
- McMahon in the building means they will once again be booking the show.
- - TEST vs. THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS
- Stephanie really has it in for Test now that she's broken her ties with
- him. Last Thursday she DQ'ed him for using a closed fist, and the Outlaws
- re-broke Test's nose. This week he has to face them in a handicap match
- while wearing a plastic protective mask. Test fights the good fight, but
- quickly falls victim to a FameAsser from Billy Gunn.
- The Mean Street Posse, still trying to suck up to the Helmsleys, bring in
- Edge, Christian & the Hardy Boyz. Triple H splits the two brother teams
- up and orders Edge & Matt to take on Christian & Jeff in a tag match.
- Last Thursday all four brothers had to face each other in (really good)
- singles matches. The winners are paired here, as are the losers.
- - Kurt Angle is informed he has to face Viscera tonight.
- - EDGE/MATT HARDY vs. CHRISTIAN/JEFF JARDY
- Terri Runnels comes out with both teams and pouts. The crowd seems to be
- in a coma, which is disappointing given how good this match is. Matt
- Hardy gets a bloody nose from either a Tomikaze from Christian, or a 450
- Splash from Jeff, who scores the pin. Chalk one up to the brothers who
- lost last week.
- Moolah and Mae Young are brought into the Helmsley Inner Sanctum. Triple
- H plays bait-and-switch, first offering Mae a bottle of booze, then
- informing her that she and Moolah have to wrestle against the Acolytes
- and the Dudley Boyz!
- - Triple H & Stephanie come out to give Jim Ross a present. Last Thursday
- Ross said Stephanie was acting like a "rhymes with 'witch' and starts
- with a 'B'" ... so Stephanie slapped the taste out of his mouth. Quickly
- they bring up Vince McMahon and the Rock being listed at #5 in the
- "Entertainment Weekly" list of the top entertainers of 1999. Triple H
- says with Vince gone, it should be them in the magazine, so he offers up
- photos of himself and Stephanie, which are placed on the two small
- screens which are adjacent to either side of the Titan-Tron. (For the
- rest of the show it looks like Elaine from "Seinfeld" and Han Solo are
- looking down on the fans.) Then, as Stephanie is offering an apology for
- slapping J.R. last week, Triple H crawls behind him. A push from
- Stephanie and over he goes. Triple H then grabs onto an arm and prepares
- to break it (which he did once before, you may remember, a few months
- back).
- Car crash--here comes Mankind! Long story short, Triple H books Mankind
- against a mystery opponent in a "Boiler Room Brawl" later tonight.
- Stephanie then seals the deal with a slap.
- - KURT ANGLE vs. VISCERA
- Angle's The Man, running circles around Viscera and keeping him off
- balance with drop-kicks. Stephanie, who seems a bit too interested in
- Angle, keeps an eye on the match. Steve Blackman comes out and nails
- Viscera with a kendo stick. Angle's finisher only gets Viscera about
- three feet off the mat, but it's enough to get the pin.
- Triple H isn't too pleased with these developments, but Stephanie plays
- innocent.
- There's Mae Young & Moolah.
- There's the Dudley Boyz.
- There's the Acolytes.
- - MOOLAH/MAE YOUNG vs. THE DUDLEY BOYZ vs. THE ACOLYTES
- The Dudleyz actually pound on Moolah and Mae, which seems so mean. From
- there the Acolytes run in. Buh Buhb Ray is held, and the ladies deliver
- blows, none of which Buh Buh feels obligated to sell. Moolah is dumped to
- the floor. I'm not sure where Faarooq. Mae winds up doubleteamed,
- receiving a headbutt between the legs, then getting pinned by D-Von. Mark
- Henry, who has been watching in the back, runs in to save Mae. That was
- ... disturbing.
- Triple H laughs, the Posse laughs, Triple H tells them not to laugh. The
- subject of Mankind's opponent is brought up. Stephanie unwraps a present:
- a Santa Claus doll. Triple H says that's who Mankind's opponent will be.
- Boo Bradley?
- - Mankind sure isn't happy to have to wrestle Jolly Old St. Nick, Mankind
- tells Michael Cole. The Posse attack, sending him into the boiler room.
- Inside awaits Santa Claus, who I think we've seen before (though darned
- if I can remember when). Mankind says he can't fight him, and adds "don't
- worry, I'll put ya over!" Suddenly he's attacked by three guys also
- dressed as Santa. Mankind makes quick work of them (they all look like
- local indy wrestlers). He starts to make his way out of the boiler room,
- but comes across two more Santa's, who are this time obviously the New Age
- Outlaws. They do a bit more damage, but Mankind is still able to dispatch
- them with the various implements of destruction laying nearby. Mankind
- grabs a pane of glass, and prepares to play "Sugar Plum Fairy" on Road
- Dogg's head, when suddenly another Santa appears and smacks the glass in
- Mankind's face with a toy bag. This one is Triple H. "I heard him exclaim
- as he rose out of sight, 'I've got two words for all ... suck it!'" He
- exits the boiler room and the ref, without a trace of humor whatsoever,
- announces "the winner: Santa Claus."
- - Triple H is stripping off his Santa pants as Al Snow enters. He demands a
- "Brahma Bullrope Match" with the Rock. Triple H tells him he isn't in a
- position to demand anything, but grants him the match anyway.
- I've forgotten to mention ... Jerry "The King" Lawler is absent because
- he's off attending the Hollywood premiere of "Man in the Moon", the Andy
- Kaufman movie which both Lawler and Jim Ross have parts in.
- WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Jim Ross and Michael Hayes.
- - CHRIS JERICHO vs. THE GODFATHER (w/ Ho's)
- Same story as last week: Chyna comes out and low blows the Godfather,
- allowing Jericho to score the pin. I *guess* Chyna's in love with
- Jericho, and wants to help him win. I can't figure out what else this
- angle could mean.
- Triple H doesn't know what Chyna's up to either. Moving on, he tells
- Terri and B.B. Bush that they have to take part in the first ever
- "Topless Top-rope Match". Val Venis will face Hardcore Holly. Each woman
- will represent one of the wrestlers. Each time one man throws his
- opponent over the top rope, his woman has to remove an item of clothing.
- The first one topless loses. Stephanie isn't too thrilled with this
- match, and takes her anger out on the Posse.
- - VAL VENIS vs. HARDCORE HOLLY (w/ Crash Holly)
- The two women stand on the stage. Triple H comes out to direct traffic.
- Almost immediately both men go out over the top rope. Both women have to
- remove their dresses, revealing bra & panties. Poor Lawler. A minute
- later Venis is again sent over the top, Holly sliding to the floor to
- pull Val off the ropes and secure the win. I don't think triple H said
- who was with who, but Terri is excused and B.B. is ordered to remove her
- top, lest she lose her job. She mulls it over and begins to unhitch her
- mammoth brassiere. Triple H then steps in front of her, shielding her
- from the view fans with his jacket, making exclamations of wonder over
- the size of her Christmas ornaments. Major heel heat from the crowd.
- Holly, for "winning" the match gets a shot at Jericho's IC belt this
- Thursday.
- Clips from SmackDown!
- There's the Rock.
- - THE ROCK vs. AL SNOW
- This isn't the main event? Not the greatest action here: mostly punches
- and kicks. You know why you have to be careful when mic-ing the crowd for
- noise? Because sometimes you can pick up the calls in the ring, as
- happens here when the ref tells the two they have four minutes left.
- Oops! Three minutes later the New Age Outlaws run in. The ref, having
- been taken out by the bullrope a few minutes earlier, comes to in time to
- count the pin for Snow. Yeah, that was just about four minutes.
- A member of the Posse accidentally spills a flower vase full of water on
- Triple H. Triple H smiles, and says as a Christmas present he'll let the
- three of them wrestle--no, not the Acolytes--Too Cool.
- - Tori is sick of what the Helmsleys are doing to Kane. Well, things will
- be no better this week, as Kane goes up against WWF Champ the Big Show.
- If Kane loses, Tori has to spend the holidays with X-Pac.
- - THE MEAN STREET POSSE vs. TOO COOL/RIKISHI PHATU
- The Posse protest to no avail. Screwed by Triple H again. The Posse suck
- too much to be in a match that lasts this long (over five minutes). Splat
- ... pin ... dance.
- One last look at the Helmsleys.
- - THE BIG SHOW vs. KANE (w/ Tori)
- Oops--spoke too soon. Here they come to watch the match, seated in a
- La-Z-Boy on the stage. An early DQ win for Kane is overturned when Triple
- H orders the match to continue, no DQ. A minute or so later the two are
- counted out on the floor. Uh-uh, says Stephanie, no countout. "They're
- just making this up as they go along!" declares Ross. Well, duh! The
- match continues, turning out ten times better than the matches these two
- have had on PPV this year. Kane's really busting his ass, and actually
- has the match won, when out come the Outlaws to harass Tori. Distracted,
- the Big Show recovers and powerbombs Kane through the announce table.
- Cover and pin. The Outlaws carry Tori up the ramp. Triple H wishes
- everyone a "very RAW Christmas", and that's the end.
- - This Thursday: Hardcore Holly vs. Chris Jericho.
- - Next week: Nothing announced.
- Comments:
- A disappointing show. Good for what it was, but seriously lacking any real
- punch.
- The first hour was good, and the second started well enough. Then the Rock
- and Snow stunk up the joint in their less-than-spectacular match. Things
- then got worse with the poorly placed Posse/Too Cool match. The main event,
- although it was decent enough, wasn't even announced until just before it
- started. Actually it was a good show overall, it just didn't match up to the
- big build going on over on Nitro. It was too much like last week's
- SmackDown!
- I have a feeling Vince McMahon was maybe supposed to return, but they
- eventually decided to hold it off, figuring it might be wasted going up
- against Russo's big angle.
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- The Bottom Line:
- The ratings are in and WCW has to have mixed feelings. Yeah, they did go up
- a few tenths-of-a-point, which was to be expected because this was a
- post-PPV show, but their highest rated head-to-head quarter hour was the
- first one. RAW's rating dipped a few tenths from last week--the drop almost
- solely attributable to a really weak opening quarter hour rating. With
- "Monday Night Football" doing a hefty rating this week, both shows actually
- did quite well. Nitro's gains would have probably been more significant were
- it not for that (though by that same token RAW may not have seen any ratings
- drop at all). The overrun for Nitro, which went really long this week, drew
- higher ratings than anything they did head-to-head--though not at the cost
- of RAW, as their overrun went up too. All in all it was a night of improved
- ratings for Nitro, but one which saw their foes--the WWF--only take a very
- minor hit in the ratings themselves. (By comparison Nitro scored bigger
- ratings the night following the Mayhem PPV, while RAW had a lower rating
- than they had this week.) Since Russo has taken over in WCW he's had four
- shows that drew higher ratings than this show, while the WWF has had four
- shows that did lower ratings than this week--all occurring the same weeks. In
- other words, this was only WCW's 5th best ratings performance versus RAW in
- the ten weeks since Russo took over. All this for the show Russo himself
- says the company has been building up to for the last two months.
- You can find the numbers at the usual wrestling news sites.
- Of course the real question is can this "momentum" be carried into next
- week. I put "momentum" in quotes because there really isn't any momentum yet
- to speak of. They did go up from last week, just as the ratings went up when
- Russo first took over, but in both instances you're comparing the improved
- ratings to shows that were at an all-time low. The ratings this week are
- right in the mid-range of a erratic ten week span which has seen WCW ratings
- go on a slow downward slide. If the ratings go up next week then they should
- be in okay shape. If they go down, though, they're in serious trouble.
- WCW has does have an ace in the hole, however. In two weeks they shorten to
- two hours. When that happens, the ratings will take a healthy jump. No
- matter how bad their head-to-head hour is, their strong first hour will give
- them an overall rating noticeably higher than what it is now. One strong show
- and WCW could see their ratings jump up into the 4.0 range, which would be a
- great improvement, but also a somewhat misleading one due to the format
- change.
- The ratings war as we know it will greatly change in two weeks. WCW will be
- able to post better numbers, but so will the WWF. "Monday Night Football"
- only has two weeks to go in the season. With them done for the year, and the
- WWF having their second hour all to themselves in the heart of primetime,
- the WWF's numbers should see an artificial inflation as well. The only
- battle anyone is going to pay attention to any more is the one head-to-head
- hour. WCW can conceivably be very competitive in the quarter hour segments,
- and those will undoubtedly be what everyone is watching from now on. If the
- WWF goes soft in their first hour they could see a weak quarter hour get
- killed by Nitro, which will usually be building to their main events at that
- time. Nitro's chances of beating RAW outright are slim to none, but the real
- battle, as many fans will see it, will be who won how many of those
- head-to-head quarters.
- That's not to say WCW doesn't have their work cut out for them. If they stay
- at the same level of quality they are at now, higher numbers or not, they
- aren't going to be very competitive head-to-head--especially if the WWF
- doesn't let up.
- Don't be fooled in two or three weeks when the WCW faithful trumpet their
- ratings "resurgence". Look closely at the numbers, imagine what that would
- have been spread out over three hours, then decide whether it's an
- improvement or not. We'll know soon enough, in the first few weeks that
- follow that, how well Nitro is doing (because the first two hour show will
- set the standard by which to judge their new ratings). Just this week if you
- dropped the third hour for Nitro their ratings would jump by something like
- two-tenths of a point--and of course their second hour would probably have
- been higher rated because it would have been a tighter, faster show building
- to their main event that hour. It seems like such a simple thing to do to
- help ratings, and WCW has known it for ages, but couldn't get TNT to give up
- that good third hour ratings Nitro delivered for them. They've finally
- convinced the network that changes were needed to make the show a monster
- ratings hit again.
- The same will be true for Thunder, which moves to Wednesday nights in a few
- weeks. No competition from SmackDown! will mean higher ratings, no matter
- the quality of the show. As with Nitro it will take a few weeks to see how
- that show is progressing.
- Fate has interceded on Vince Russo's behalf, essentially giving him a fresh
- start in the coming weeks. His new NWO experiment couldn't have come at a
- better time. If he anticipated this, and had the timing worked into his
- plans, then maybe there's some promise in him yet.
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1999 by
- John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those
- of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how
- to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week.
- Volume One, Number 214 of the "Monday Night Recap", December 20th, 1999.
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