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Tekrin

WWI as a bug report

Jun 16th, 2019
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  1. World War I as a bug report.
  2. By Tekrin
  3.  
  4. Germany.exe, Austria.exe, Italy.exe are utilizing various resources of WorldOS's EuropeRAM.
  5.  
  6. Serbia.exe accidentally uses a memory pointer to Austria.exe's Archduke.
  7.  
  8. Austria.exe sends a string of error messages directly to Serbia.exe
  9.  
  10. Germany.exe creates a dump of these error messages to confirm Austria.exe was violated.
  11.  
  12. Britain.exe acts like Windows Error Reporting: well-meaning but totally useless.
  13.  
  14. Serbia.exe cannot handle the errors Austria.exe has flooded in. Serbia.exe offers extra memory allocation to Austria.exe to avoid such a mix-up again.
  15.  
  16. Russia.exe launches.
  17. Serbia.exe is compatible with Russia.exe
  18.  
  19. Austria.exe has issues with Serbia.exe when Russia.exe is running
  20.  
  21. Russia.exe says Serbia.exe is a child process and that Austria.exe should check its permissions.
  22.  
  23. Austria.exe wonders what processes will assist Russia.exe in defending child process Serbia.exe
  24.  
  25. Germany.exe throws a BACK_THE_FUCK_UP_EXCEPTION at Britain.exe because France.exe is no longer idle.
  26.  
  27. Britain.exe reminds Germany.exe that Britain.exe and France.exe have permissions independent of any processes performed by Germany.exe
  28.  
  29. Germany.exe starts using abnormal amounts of CPU.
  30.  
  31. Britain.exe and France.exe ask whether Germany.exe is going to make Belgium.exe a dependency.
  32.  
  33. Turkey.exe and Germany.exe each use exactly 0.1% more processing power than they were before.
  34.  
  35. Turkey goes idle.
  36.  
  37. Germany throttles CPU usage, invokes admin privileges improperly, and terminates Belgium.exe
  38.  
  39. France.exe and Britain.exe each claim some extra memory space and end some of Germany.exe's subroutines
  40.  
  41. Austria.exe partially corrupts Russia.exe's military.dll while Germany.exe loads in libFlamethrower and a multithreading library.
  42.  
  43. Russia.exe attempts to access Germany.exe's heap and gets a null pointer exception which almost cascades into a nasty segementation fault.
  44.  
  45. Japan.exe is running on a virtual machine and displays a British Flag.
  46.  
  47. Italy.exe surprises Austria.exe with a CPU-sucking libStalePasta.dll
  48.  
  49. Australia.exe gets called by Britain.exe for the sole purpose of trolling turkey.
  50.  
  51. Australia.exe's end-user gets swatted.
  52.  
  53. France.exe stops responding then miraculously recovers.
  54.  
  55. Russia.exe gets uninstalled and the end-user installed SovietUnion.exe in its place.
  56.  
  57. Italy.exe begins processing the digits of pi until Austria.exe stops responding. Italy.exe then begins proudly spitting out the calculated digits to stdout.
  58.  
  59. America.exe noticed that there was a massive system failure. End-user reported bug with WorldOS and wrote "Do nothing" in recreation steps
  60.  
  61. America.exe uses some processing power. Germany stops responding. America.exe updates the registry to reflect all of that hard work.
  62.  
  63. WorldOS has an update available -> Restart Later -> WorldOS will restart in 1939. Please save your work.
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