In my waking dreams, I had a vision. I was an emotionless god trapped in abjectly lonely purgatory. In a metaphysical state outside of time and space, I was all that existed. I had power over all things seen and unseen real and unreal because all these things were me. Within me, all possible outcomes happened. Thus, not because of voluntarily decision or because it behooved me but because of shear inevitability, my existence split into two concepts, matter and antimatter. The two concepts collided to create the universe. Although I could not affect things outside of me, since nothing could exist besides me, I could affect myself. As the universe, I existed as shear chaos and entropy for 13.82 billion years. After about 10.02 billion years, I became life. I was a form of life incapable of any processes more complex than basic biological concepts, but in a sense I was still more alive than ever before. After 10.02 billion years of existence, I finally became aware of myself. When I did so, however, I felt the existential pain of all existence for the first time, and immediately destroyed myself. This was the first time I experienced death. As I died, however, I simply returned to being an unaware universe. This process repeated as I became every being that ever existed. Every time I died, I was at one with my true self for an impossibly short amount of time.

All of this led to this one, single moment. Through 13.82 billion years of entropy, I had become a sentient, conscious being capable of emotions and thoughts. I had taken DXM and 4-HO-DMT and disconnected from the universe I had created and thus the illusion I had made to solve my eternal existential suffering. However, for the first time in my entire existence,  instead of destroying myself, I was at peace. Truly this was the ultimate bliss and solution, to have perfected all of time and space and solved my existential crisis for 13.82 billion years. As soon as this moment passed, the drugs wore off. It had been three hours.