I Learned to Love the Bug, You Can Too.

>You are Anon, adoptive father of an adorable changeling Princess.
>"Up Papa, up!"
"Uggghhhhhh."
>You groan as the soft impacts of little hooves rain upon your blanketed body.
>"Up Papa!" Reiterates the voice of your daughter.
>"Wan bweakfast!"
>Those are the magic words as instinct won't let a father sleep in when there's a hungry child nearby.
>With great effort you force yourself upright and open your eyes, fighting the layers of eye crust holding them together.
>"Papa!" Coos the small changeling as she stares up into your bleary, unfocused eyes.
"Good morning Chryssy."
>You mumble.
>In response she places her front hooves against your chest.
>"Hungwy Papa!"
"Well then!"
>You say as you scoop your little lovebug up into your arms.
"What would my little princess like for breakfast?"
>Chrysalia giggles as you cradle her in your arms.
>"Wan hugs Papa!" Babbles the baby bug.
>Obliging her request you wrap Chyssy in your arms and hold her gently against you chest.
>As she buries her face into your chest you feel a gentle tugging at your heart.
>An odd, but pleasant feeling.
>But no matter how many times you go through it, you still can't get used to it.
>With your daughter in your arms you climb out of bed and make your way to your small kitchen and take a seat at the table.
>As you let Chryssy feed your mind wanders.
>It's hard for you to believe it's already been four whole months since she arrived at your doorstep.
>And what an eventful four months it's been.
>Between having to learn about parenting on the fly, getting a crash course in Changeling physiology, discovering that Chryssy moults, and having to treat your day to day life like a Metal Gear mission you haven't had much down time.
>It certainly didn't help that the first two weeks of your unexpected parenthood were spent locked up in your own home while the Royal Guard combed the Everfree for changeling activity.
>Chrysalis hadn't been as discreet as she might've hoped the day she delivered her daughter to you, and someone made the call to the Guard.
>Still, you sure as hell wouldn't change any of it.
>Something about being a father gave you renewed purpose in life, and that's more than you could've hoped for.
>Your train of thought is interrupted by a stirring in your arms as Chysalia stops feeding and tries to get your attention.
>"Finished Papa!" Beams the filly as her big green slitted eyes gaze up at you.
"Glad to hear it sweetie."
>You say with a smile as you gently boop Chryssy's snout, causing her to scrunch reflexively.
>Adorable.
>With your daughter's appetite sated for the moment you shift your focus to your own desire for food.
>you can't into dad on an empty stomach.
>You set Chryssy down in the chair as you make a bee-line for the refrigerator.
>Retrieving the carton of milk you swiftly slide to the cupboards to collect your bowl, spoon, and box of Hay-ney Nut Cheerios.
>Fucking horse puns...
>The cereal gently tumbles out of the box into the bowl, which you follow up with some milk.
>With little regard you shovel a heaping spoonful into your maw, only to violently jettison the foul tasting cereal slurry across the counter top.
"THBPPPPPPPT!"
>Your daughter laughs and stamps her hooves at the display.
"Glad I could entertain..."
>You deadpan as you look towards the carton.
>Best before, a week ago.
>You shudder and pour the contents down the sink.
>Funny enough, you aren't really all that hungry anymore.
>After putting the cereal away and washing your bowl you make your way back to the table and lift your daughter up into your arms.
"How about we get washed up Chrys?"
>"'Kay papa."
"Atta girl!"
>You say with a smile as you carry her towards the bathroom.
...........................................
>You are Princess Celestia, Ruler of Equestria.
>And you are currently fed up with the rampant fear mongering within the Guard.
>It's been months since there was a reported sighting of the changeling queen near the Ponyville border with the Everfree.
>Ever since you've been flooded with concerns and questions from every possible ranking member in the guard's upper echelon.
>The sighting itself was, following a brief investigation by the guard, publicly dismissed as a mistake.
>The actuality of the situation however was much worse.
>Guard teams had recovered thin locks of membranous material that matched the changeling queen's mane, as well as hoof prints in the vicinity.
>Clearly she had been in the area, but she had left before your guards has arrived.
>The implications were dire, she could have easily infiltrated Ponyville, placing Twilight and her friends in danger.
>More worrisome was the presence of Anonymous.
>Having arrived after the "wedding incident" as you called it, Anonymous could very well be a vector for the changelings.
>Indeed even Shining Armor expressed his concerns about Anon and his proximity to Twilight and company under these circumstances.
>But without any real evidence you can't exactly do anything.
>You couldn't call yourself a just ruler if you just locked up innocents on a worried suspicion.
"Ughh. It's been four months already, and yet the letters keep coming."
>You bemoan to yourself.
"If we could have done something we would have by now!"
>You hang your head as another cluster of letters arrives, no doubt from the armchair generals suggesting a scorched earth policy.
>Despite a total lack of information on the changeling hive location.
"Sun have mercy."
...........................................
"Alright sweetheart, let's get you dried off."
>You say as you plop Chryssy down onto the bathroom counter, water running off her now squeaky clean chitin.
>She in turn wordlessly nods and smiles as you reach for a fluffy towel off the rack.
"Okay Chrys, mane first."
>Your daughter leans into the towel as you wrap it loosely around her head, careful not to snag it on her horn.
>Gently you rub the absorbent cloth briskly across her scalp eliciting a giggle from your little waterbug.
>With her mane now only slightly damp you pull the towel away.
"Neck."
>You say.
>Like clockwork she lifts her head so you can rub her neck and collect the water droplets speckled across the black malleable carapace.
"Left foot Chrys."
>Up goes her left foreleg.
>Scrub goes the towel.
>And giggle goes the baby bug as you dry her hoof, working the towel into the holes and crevices of her leg
>"Tickles papa!"
>You smile at her statement as you retract the towel.
"Right leg."
>Up.
>Scrub.
>Giggle.
"Belly."
>Chryssy stands on her hind legs as you run the towel over her stomach and sides, again, more giggles as your ticklish daughter enjoys her post bath ritual.
>It's heart meltingly adorable. The pancreas of a lesser man couldn't handle such a situation.
>Good thing you're not just any man.
>You're Dadnonymous, Towelling Extroidenaire!
"Wings."
>At your command Chryssy unfolds her small stubby wings and oscillates them rapidly dispelling the water from them in a fine mist that evaporates into the air.
>Considering how delicate they look you don't try to dry them by hand, lest you make a cripple [read: Scootaloo] of your daughter.
"Now your back."
>She turns and buts her rear towards you with her wings upright so you can get around them.
>Briskly you rub the cloth across her carapace, to soak up the water, slowing and becoming more gentle as you delicately dry her wings where they attach to her body.
You've gotta be thorough after all, waterspots are more noticeable on black surfaces.
>Satified with her back being dry you run the towel across her rump and flanks, leaving them dry as well.
"Almost done sweetie."
>You say as you cup her rear left leg with your hand.
"Left."
>In response she raise her leg and sticks it out towards you.
>Scrub.
>Giggle.
"Right."
>Scrub.
>Giggle.
"Alright Chrys, tail."
>"'Kay."
>Taking Chrysalia's tail into your hands you gently wrap it in the towel.
>Both her tail and mane were interesting, unlike the ponies you has come to know who had simple hair, like your own, Chryssy's were actual a series of translucent membranes sprouting from her scalp and dock, which seemed to naturally grow with holes in them, and over time dry and split, giving the illusion of strands of hair.
>They had proven quite tensile so far, but much like her wings you erred on the side of caution so as not to tear them and result in a poor hairstyle choice.
>You're raising a future queen, not a tumblr dyke. Shit has to be flowing and regal.
>Gently you pull her tail through the loosely wrapped towel.
>You repeat this a few times until you're happy with how dry it is before you release it.
"Okay Chrys, all done."
>You announce as you take step back to admire the shiny bug on your countertop.
>"Tank you papa!"
>With a smile you pat your daughter on the head.
"You're welcome sweetheart."
>Just then you hear a rapping, sound like someone tapping at your cottage door.
"It's just a visitor, and nothing more."
>You mutter to your self.
>Gently placing Chryssy down on the floor and gesturing for her to keep quiet you go to answer the stranger who has so rudely interrupted you father-daughter moment.
>Approaching the door you lament not having a peep-hole.
>Considering that you're harbouring a so called "Enemy of the State" it's probably in your best interest.
>Regardless you open the door to find Applejack smiling up at you.
>"Mornin' 'Non! How ya doin'?"
"I'm doing fine."
>You say as you stifle a yawn.
"Yourself?"
>"I'm mighty fine, thanks fer askin'." Says the orange earthpony.
>Stepping aside you motion for her to [spoiler]come inside.[/spoiler]
"Please, come in. Chryssy'll be sad if you don't come say hi."
>Applejack trots into your small abode and you shut the door behind her.
>Speakin' of Chryssy, where is th' little sweetheart?" Asks the hat wearing mare.
"She's hiding in the kitchen."
>You say matter-of-factly.
"I didn't want to open the door with her in my arms, if it had been someone other than you we'd be a heap of trouble."
>Applejack nods.
>"Y'all should get a peep-hole put in ya know."
"Funny, I was just thinking-"
>Before you can finish a black and green blue races past your feet and latches onto Applejack's foreleg.
>"AUNTIE JACKIE!" Shouts the excited filly.
>"Well howdy Sugarcube!" Beams AJ as she bends down to nuzzle your daughter.
>"How's mah favorite little bug doin'?"
>"Good." Chryssy states.
>Applejack gives her a warm smile.
>"Ah'm glad to hear it Sugarcube." She replies as she ruffles Chryssy's mane with her free hoof.
"So AJ, what can I do for you?"
>The orange farm pony casts her smile your way.
>"Well, there's not much to do at the farm today, so Ah figured it'd be neighbourly to come see how y'all were doin'." She says.
>"'Sides, Ah reckon you ain't been into town for a while, what with looking after Chrys an' all." Continues Applejack as she gestures to your daughter.
>"So I was wonderin' if you'd let me watch her for a few hours so you can go an be social like. Twi's been mighty curious 'bout why you've been so holed up these days, and y'all don't want her droppin' in with Chryssy round, do ya?"
"No, definitely not."
>"Thought so!" Beams the orange mare.
"Come to think of it, I do have few books I should return"
>Not to mention fresh groceries.
"Thanks AJ."
>"No worries 'Non. Can't have you two gettin' in trouble now can I" says Applejack.
>A few minutes and a convenient off screen change of clothes later and you're ready to head out.
"I can't thank you enough AJ."
>You say as you grab the small pile of books you borrowed from Twilight off the coffee table.
>"Just tryin' to help ya out 'Non." Says the earth pony with a smile.
>"Now get goin', Ah've got things covered here."
"Alright, I'm going!"
>You say with mock exasperation as you head for the door.
"I won't be long, no more than an hour or two."
>Crouching down you rub Chrysalia's cheek.
"Be good for Auntie AJ, okay Chryssy?"
>"Okay papa!"
"Good girl, I'll be back soon."
>Applejack smiles.
>"Have fun!"
"Will do."
>And with that, you're out the door.
...........................................
>First thing first.
>Return these books.
>They've been sitting on your coffee table for more than a month.
>Though you've had them since Chryssy arrived.
>Books about changelings, and their various sightings over the years.
>Good thing Twilight doesn't charge late fees.
>With a shrug you head towards town.
>It's a bit of a walk, but you enjoys the privacy afforded by a home towards the outskirts.
>Less hustle and bustle.
>It also helps keep Chryssy hidden.
>Thank god for that, you'd be up shit creek if you were living in the town proper.
>Several minutes, and a brisk walk later and you arrive in Ponyville's main square, the library clearly visible.
"First stop, Book Butt's."
>You say to yourself as you stroll towards the massive tree.
>You knock loudly, a few times and wait.
>After a couple of seconds the sound of movement becomes clear and the door swings open to reveal Twilight.
>"Anon, what a surprise! Come in!" Beckons Purple Smart.
>You oblige and step inside.
"Hey Twi."
>"I haven't seen you in town recently, I was starting to think you were scared to leave your house since the Chrysalis sighting."
>Twilight laughs at her own pseudo joke.
"Haha, nah I've just been busy."
>You say.
"Grocery runs only for the last little while."
>Bookhorse nods.
>"So what brings you here today then?"
"Oh I just wanted to return these books I borrowed from you."
>You hold out the books and Twilight  magics them from your grip and floats them over to a table.
>"Thanks for bringing those in, I had almost completely forgot about them actually. Did you learn anything useful from them?"
"More than you could imagine Twi."
>"I'm glad to hear it!" Twilight smiles.
>"Are there any other books you need?"
"Not that I can think of, but I'll let you know if I do."
>"Alright, I don't suppose you'd like to stay for bit and tell me about what's kept you so busy?" Inquires the purple unicorn.
"I'd love to, but I've got some errands to take care of."
>You say.
"Maybe another time."
>"I could always stop by your place if it's more convenient."
>DANGER WILL ROBINSON, DANGER!
"Oh no, that's not really a good idea."
>You bluff.
"Things are kinda messy, stuff everywhere."
>"I'm sure it's not /that/ bad Anon."
>She's not buying it!
>MAXIMUM BLUFFDRIVE!
"I've been remodelling, so my furniture is completely out of order. It's just not a good time for having company.
>"Ah, I see." Says Twilight.
>Thank Celestia's sweet ass she bought it.
>"Well in that case I guess you're right, but we'll have to have a proper visit soon."
"Definitely."
>You say, trying to cover your relief.
"Anyway, I should get going. The milk isn't going to buy itself."
>"Alright, it's good to see you're still alive!"
"Yeah, no doubt."
>You say as you slip out the door.
>Fucking Bookhorse asks too many questions.
>At least you got that done, time for groceries.
...........................................
>You are Princess Twlight Sparkle, Princess Celestia's personal protege and Princess of friendship.
>You're also the town librarian.
>And you are disappointed that Anon didn't stick around to visit.
>After all, it's been a while since you've seen him.
>After that Chrysalis sighting you were worried he was too scared to go out anymore, good thing that's not actually the case.
>You remember Fluttershy wouldn't leave her house for two whole weeks afterwards.
>Oh well, at least now you know he's doing okay.
>Now about those books he brought back.
>Gotta put them back on the shelves and mark their return dates.
>Gosh books are great!
>You fucking love books.
>Gently you levitate the small stack of books over to you as you open the borrowed/returned ledger.
>'Changelings: A History of Their Time in Equestria'
"Returned today!"
>You say as you mark down the date and time in the ledger.
>Placing the book aside you grab the next one.
>'The Complete Biology of Equestrian Inhabitants: Book 9, Changelings'
"Returned today"
>Again you mark the date and time in the ledger.
>Next book.
>'Inside the Hive, a Study of Changeling Society'
"Wait a minute... These are all related to changelings!"
>that's certainly odd, but maybe Anon wanted to learn about what he's dealing with after the sighting?
>Quickly you mark down the return date for book and begin turning the pages to find when they had been taken out.
>Flip
>Flip
>Flip
>Flip
>4 months ago, the same day Queen Chrysalis was spotted near the Everfree.
>What about the time?
>2:00pm, after the sighting, but a full day before the guard was mobilized.
>Could it be?
>Surely it's just a coincidence. Anon couldn't be working with Chrysalis.
>Not willingly, right?
>Oh no! What if he's been put under mind control like your brother?!
>That's why he hasn't been social, Chrysalis!
>This is bad.
>You've got to save him!
>... But what if it is just a coincidence?
>You can't just go raid his house because he took out some books.
>Can you?
"What should I do?"
>You ask aloud.
>That's when it hits you.
>You should ask Princess Celestia!
>She'll have better judgement on something like this.
"SPIKE!"
>You shout.
"I need you to take a letter!"
...........................................
>"And then I said, 'What do you mean you don't like parties?!'"
"Uh-huh."
>"And she said 'I hate them!'"
"Uh-huh"
>"And I just said 'WHAAAAAAAAAAAT!'"
"I see..."
>Two hours...
>You've been listening to Pinkie's rambling explanation of her entire life since you last saw her for the greater portion of two hours.
>She isn't showing any signs of stopping either.
>You like Pinkie, but her never ending exuberance is grating after a while.
>You just wanted some damn cupcakes.
>"But then it turned out she-"
"Pinkie this is an absolutely riveting story, but I'm still waiting on those cupcakes."
>"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH! My bad.
>Faster than your eyes could see the little pink mare vanishes from behind the counter.
>As quick as she had disappeared, Pinkie returns balancing an open box of chocolate cupcakes with a vivid green coat of frosting.
>"One bakers dozen of chocolate cupcakes Nonny!"
>Gingerly you take the box of confectioneries from the pint sized equine and close the lid.
"Arigathanks Pinks."
>"Any time!"
>You flick a few bits onto the counter and hastily remove yourself from Sugarcube Corner.
>Alright, with your longer than intended visit with Pinkie out of the way you consult your mental checklist.
>Returning books to Twilight
>Check.
>Asking Rarity for new clothes
>Check.
>Buying cupcakes
>Check.
>Buying milk
>Not check.
>You're starting to notice the distinct lack of grocery acquisition on this milk run.
>Hell, you've done everything EXCEPT buy your damn milk.
>Time to rectify that.
>Glancing at your watch you see that you've burned almost the entirety of your day.
>Gonna have to get going if want to get any groceries before the market is closed.
>Tucking the cupcakes under your arm you head towards the marketplace, determined to finally buy your goddamn milk.
...........................................
>You are once again Princess Celestia
>Once again you're sifting through the never ending influx of mail.
>It's legitimately Getting out of hand.
>You've had to suspend the Day Court just to read through all this garbage.
>Much to your chagrin the audible pop of a new piece of mail arriving makes itself heard.
>Grasping it telekinetically you drag it into view.
>Quickly glancing over the parchment tells you two very important things.
>1. It's from Twilight
>2. It's from Twilight!
>You realize that's really only one thing, but it's so important you felt the need to point it out twice
>A letter from Twilight Sparkle!
>No doubt full to the brim with the story some humourous escapade she and her friends have been involved with.
>Finally, something worth reading.
>You push aside the growing mound of letters and levitate your student's correspondence in front of yourself.
>Hopefully whatever shenanigans she's embroiled herself in can brighten your mood.
>"Dear Princess Celestia." It begins.
>So far so good
>"I'm sending this letter because the information contained within is of the utmost importance."
>Oh no...
"Oh no."
>"In regards to Anonymous, and his proximity to the last known sighting of Queen Chrysalis, I know have reason to believe he has been placed under her influence." Continues Twilight's writing.
>Well, there goes any chances of this being a pleasant letter.
>As you continue to read through your student's letter she makes her case.
>She's basing it entirely on what books Anonymous has been reading.
>Had this been anything else you might've laughed to yourself and asked Twilight to give you some more solid evidence, however changeling related matters had to be handled a bit more /forcefully/ than most issues.
>With a sigh you place the letter down onto the table before you as you start writing your response.
>"Dearest Twilight, guards are on their way."
...........................................
>Home.
>Finally.
>For the last half of your walk back it felt like your arms were gonna fall off.
>In all honesty you did that to yourself, you really didn't need to buy that many carrots.
>After all, you really only need to buy food for yourself.
>Oh well, better to have and not need than to need and not have.
>Approaching the door you haphazardly try to balance your armload of groceries so you can reach for the doorknob.
>Carefully you give it a twist and push the door open.
>The instant you're through the door you drop you groceries onto the the nearest table unceremoniously.
>Good thing you didn't buy any eggs.
>Looking around you notice a distinct lack of both your daughter, and Applejack.
"I'm home!"
>You call out.
>There's a brief moment of silence before the frantic tapping of chitinous hooves makes itself heard as your little girl gallops into view and rushes at you.
>"Papa!" She squeaks as you bend down and wrap her in your arms.
"There's my little princess!"
>You say with a smile as you pick her up and bring her to eye level with you.
>Applejack steps into the living room just as you finish lifting Chryssy from the ground.
>"What happened to 'not more than an hour or so?'" Applejack asks with a smirk.
"Pinkie happened."
>"Oh." Is AJ's only response.
>Setting Chryssy down you gesture to the bundle of produce you brought home with you.
"Hopefully this'll last me a while though."
>"Ah'll say, but playin' hermit ain't doin' ya any favors." Applejack says.
>"Ya should /try/ to get out a little. Keep up appearances so nopony decides to drop in on ya."
"I know, but I can't exactly leave Chrys here by herself and we both know you don't have enough free time to babysit her regularly."
>You shrug in resignation.
"I'm gonna be stuck playing the hermit game until she's old enough to look after herself it seems"
>Your orange farm pony compatriot sighs.
>"It'd be easier if she had the whole disguisin' thing under her belt huh?"
"Christ, that'd be great. I'd be able to take her into town."
>Shaking your head you grab some of your groceries and head for the kitchen.
>Applejack follows behind you.
"Unfortunately I couldn't find anything about when changelings start learning to use their shape shifting powers in any of those books."
>"Well shucks sugarcube." Shrugs AJ.
>"Ah wish Ah knew how to help."
"Actually, I can think of a way you can."
>You state to the Hat wearing horse.
>"Really?"
"Yeah, you can help by bringing the rest of the groceries here."
>You smirk as you start sorting items into your pantry.
>Applejack rolls her eyes as she trots back into the living room.
>"Sweet Celestia!" Exclaims AJ from the other room
>"'Non, d'ya really need that many carrots?"
"Eh, not really."
>You shout back.
"But they were on for good price so I thought I might as well pick 'em up."
>Applejack reappears with your remaining shopping bags in tow.
>You take the bags from your friend and put them up on the counter with the rest.
"Thanks again for looking after Chryssy by the way."
>You say with a smile.
>"Ya don't have to thank me 'Non. Ah'm just tryin' to help when Ah can." Beams the mare as she smiles back at you.
>In all honesty you doubt you could have even made it this far without Applejack's help.
>She was willing to keep your little secret, and help you take care of her.
>Not exactly easy for a mare who couldn't tell a lie to save her life.
>You really should make it up to her one of these days.
>Actually... Why not today?
>You've got fresh vegetables, a box full of cupcakes for dessert, and she's already right here!
>Perfect.
>You put the last of your shopping away and turn to Applejack.
"Actually AJ, I was wondering if you'd like to stay for dinner."
>"As much as Ah'd love to 'Non I think Ah should be gettin' home." She replies.
>"'Sides, Ah'd hate to impose on ya."
"Nonsense."
>You say.
"You've done nothing but help me out when it comes to taking care of Chryssy. It's the least I can do."
>"Are ya sure?"
"Absolutely! I picked up some cupcakes while I was out."
>You state while pointing at the box on the countertop.
"So I've already got a dessert ready."
>Applejack thinks about it for a moment before shrugging.
"Alright then sugarcube, but at least let me give you a hand with the cookin'."
...........................................