(FR) Legionnaire

>Day plebeian in Equestria
>Be Quis, one of the many of who made up the glorious Legion XX Valeria Victrix
>Also be commonly known as Anonymous
>You were supposed to be near Londinium, en route to Deva when an arcane wind moved you
>Now you were in a land you liked to call Magi Equitatus
>And it was odd to say the least
>There were a lot of horses here, but they were colorful and spoke
>Once you realized you were in a new land you did what any self-respecting legionnaire did
>Chop down some trees and build a fucking fort that’s what
>You’d be damned before those fucking celts got the one-up on you
>A giant Aquila hung over it as a symbol of the might of the Legion
>Over time the natives noticed you and made contact
>And over the next few weeks they got used to you, sort of
>Except for a specific yellow one which you have dubbed Flavis Tacita
>Everyday it seemed she came up to you and started asking
>”Oh hey there Mr. Anon. I was wondering if snails were your fetish?”
>But there was a problem
“EXTREMO, Non loquor equus”
>You don’t speak their crazy ass horse language
>And why would you; this is another fucking planet!

>One day after a particularly thrilling march around your wall you realize the sun is rising
>Welp, time to start the day
>Cacas, perluo, tondeo
>Then, a nice prandeo of avena
[spoiler]That’s a breakfast of oats you fuckers[/spoiler]
>*KNOCK KNOCK*
>You sigh
>Every day that Flavis Tacita seemed to visit you and try to communicate
>And every day you sent her away
“Intuor! Non sum attrahitur…”
>You look around but notice that horse isn’t here
>In fact, no one is around
>How odd…
>But before you turn around you notice a small group on the horizon
>…
>Standing in a cock-assed group was a small gathering of ponies painted blue
>They were wearing nothing but still waving shields around
>Every so often one would shit on another and start dry humping a tree
>…
>FUCKING CELTS
>You noticed Flavis Tacita was leading the pack
>”Now, if you all don’t mind, let’s go pay Anonymous a visit!”
>Their squeaky voices rose in volume as they rushed towards you
>You raised your gladius and shouted
“Venis ad me frater!”
>Today was a Roman kind of day