(FR) Legionnaire

Mar 19th, 2013
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  1. >Day plebeian in Equestria
  2. >Be Quis, one of the many of who made up the glorious Legion XX Valeria Victrix
  3. >Also be commonly known as Anonymous
  4. >You were supposed to be near Londinium, en route to Deva when an arcane wind moved you
  5. >Now you were in a land you liked to call Magi Equitatus
  6. >And it was odd to say the least
  7. >There were a lot of horses here, but they were colorful and spoke
  8. >Once you realized you were in a new land you did what any self-respecting legionnaire did
  9. >Chop down some trees and build a fucking fort that’s what
  10. >You’d be damned before those fucking celts got the one-up on you
  11. >A giant Aquila hung over it as a symbol of the might of the Legion
  12. >Over time the natives noticed you and made contact
  13. >And over the next few weeks they got used to you, sort of
  14. >Except for a specific yellow one which you have dubbed Flavis Tacita
  15. >Everyday it seemed she came up to you and started asking
  16. >”Oh hey there Mr. Anon. I was wondering if snails were your fetish?”
  17. >But there was a problem
  18. “EXTREMO, Non loquor equus”
  19. >You don’t speak their crazy ass horse language
  20. >And why would you; this is another fucking planet!
  22. >One day after a particularly thrilling march around your wall you realize the sun is rising
  23. >Welp, time to start the day
  24. >Cacas, perluo, tondeo
  25. >Then, a nice prandeo of avena
  26. [spoiler]That’s a breakfast of oats you fuckers[/spoiler]
  27. >*KNOCK KNOCK*
  28. >You sigh
  29. >Every day that Flavis Tacita seemed to visit you and try to communicate
  30. >And every day you sent her away
  31. “Intuor! Non sum attrahitur…”
  32. >You look around but notice that horse isn’t here
  33. >In fact, no one is around
  34. >How odd…
  35. >But before you turn around you notice a small group on the horizon
  36. >…
  37. >Standing in a cock-assed group was a small gathering of ponies painted blue
  38. >They were wearing nothing but still waving shields around
  39. >Every so often one would shit on another and start dry humping a tree
  40. >…
  42. >You noticed Flavis Tacita was leading the pack
  43. >”Now, if you all don’t mind, let’s go pay Anonymous a visit!”
  44. >Their squeaky voices rose in volume as they rushed towards you
  45. >You raised your gladius and shouted
  46. “Venis ad me frater!”
  47. >Today was a Roman kind of day
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