Congrats on the Sex!

[The scene opens in a bedroom. Belka is sitting at the edge of a bed getting dressed. Benoit is sitting on the other side staring at the ceiling wistfully.]
BENOIT: Sometimes...
[The scene cuts to Male Kamui ("Mamui") standing in the Invisible Kingdom.]
MAMUI: Oh, Ooh!
BENOIT: Something beautiful happens in this world... You just don't know how to express yourself. So you just gotta sing!
[The scene changes to a different bedroom, Mamui sitting in bed. Next to him is an annoyed Crimson.]
MAMUI: I just had sex!
[The scene cuts to kitchen. Nishiki and Pieri both seem to be missing certain articles of clothing. Nishiki seems to be dancing, while Pieri is giving him a strange look.]
NISHIKI: And it felt so good!
[Velour storms out of a bathroom. Dia saunters out behind her.]
DIA: A woman let me put my penis inside her!
MAMUI: I just had sex!
[Tsukuyomi walks out of a bedroom with a prideful look on his face. Felicia follows him with an embarrassed look on her face.]
TSUKUYOMI: And I'll never go back!
[Yukimura is holding one of his puppets as he sits in bed. Female Kamui ("Femui") looks mortified.]
YUKIMURA: To the-not-having-sex ways of the past!
[SILAS walks into a bedroom with a coffee mug. Elise glares at him.]
SILAS: Have you ever had sex? I have, it felt great! It felt so good when I did it with my penis!
[Suzukaze is sitting next to Rinka. He seems enthusiastic. She does not.]
SUZUKAZE: A girl let me do it! It literally just happened!
[It cuts to a shot of Saizou looking annoyed. Charlotte is standing behind him with a lustful look on her face.]
SUZUKAZE: Having sex can make a nice man-
[The shot changes slightly: Saizou is now giving two thumbs up, though his expression doesn't seem to have changed. Charlotte, however, now looks furious.]
SUZUKAZE: out the meanest!
[Asura walks out of a bedroom looking smug.]
ASURA: Never guess where I just came from, I had sex!
[Tsubaki is walking down the street with a thoughtful look on his face.]
TSUBAKI: If I had to describe the feeling...
[The shot shows Tsubaki sitting in bed giving a thumbs up. Luna, who is sitting next to him, is giving a thumbs down with a scowl on her face.]
TSUBAKI: It was the best!
[Odin seems to be standing in a room going on a tirade while Orochi dresses in the background.]
ODIN: When I had the sex, man, my penis felt great!
[The scene changes to Odin hugging Lissa and a vaguely person shaped blob labelled "Owain's Dad" from behind. Odin is smiling, but Lissa's expression seemes to say "I love my son. I really do. But there are times when I wonder why I didn't have my husband pull out the night he was conceived."]
ODIN: And I called my parents right after I was done!
[Shinonome and Siegbert both walk out of bedrooms. Behind them are Matoi and Ophelia, who both seem embarrassed. Matoi looks mortified when Shinonome speaks.]
SHINONOME: Oh hey, didn't see you there, guess what I just did? Had sex, undressed, saw her boobies and all the rest!
SIEGBERT: Was sure nice of her to let you do that thing!
SHINONOME: Nice of any girl ever, now sing!
[Mamui sings while Yuugiri dresses.]
MAMUI: I just had sex!
[Zero dresses while Nyx lies in bed staring at the ceiling, wondering if perhaps getting married and having a family was really worth it.]
ZERO: And it felt so good!
[Grey is sitting in bed looking smug, neither noticing or caring that Shara is glaring daggers at him.]
GREY: A woman let me put my penis inside her!
MAMUI: Wanna tell the world!
[Marx lies next to Femui, who seems annoyed. He is talking on the phone with Ryouma, who is lying next to a similarly annoyed Kagerou.]
MARX: To be honest, I'm surprised she even wanted me to do it!
RYOUMA: Doesn't really make sense, but man, screw it! I ain't one to argue with a good thing!
MARX: She could be my wife!
RYOUMA: That good?
MARX: The best thirty seconds of my life!
[Lazwald walks into a bedroom.]
LAZWALD: I'm so humbled by a girl's ability to let me do her, 'cause honestly-
[The scene cuts to the bed, where a pile of manure is sitting with a wig on it. Mozume is standing next to the bed with a confused look on her face.]
LAZWALD: I'd have sex with a pile of manure!
[Leon is sitting in bed next to Hinoka, nodding with a confident look on his face.]
LEON: With that in mind, a soft, nice-smelling girl's better!
[The scene cuts to Takumi, who is nodding in agreement.]
TAKUMI: Plus she let me wear my chain-
[The scene switches to Takumi, who is wearing a sweater, a chain necklace, and sunglasses. He feels confident for the first time in his life, but he looks ridiculous. In the background, Femui is sitting in bed facepalming.]
TAKUMI: And my turtleneck sweater!
[Mamui is once again standing in the Invisible Kingdom.]
MAMUI: So this one's dedicated to them girls-
[Asama is awkwardly lying on top of Effie, who seems unsure of how to do this without breaking any of his bones.]
MAMUI: That let us flop around on top of them!
[Gunther calmly dresses himself.]
GUNTHER: If you're near-
[Fuuga meditates.]
FUUGA: Or far.
[Lutz grins at Midoriko.]
LUTZ: Whether short-
[Hisame eyes Kinu's fluffy tail]
HISAME: Or... tall?
MAMUI: We wanna thank you all, for letting us fuck you!
[Flora, who is next to him, sighs]
[Joker is on top of Setsuna, who is looking at her watch with a bored look on her face. Joker is annoyed.]
JOKER: She kept looking at her watch.
[Mamui is sitting in bed with Camilla.]
MAMUI: Doesn't matter, had sex!
[Ignis is on top of Soleil. He is rather distressed, while Soleil looks uncomfortable.]
IGNIS: But I cried the whole time!
MAMUI: Doesn't matter, had sex!
[Kazahana pushes Flannel out of the room. Lazwald is standing outside. They shrug at each other.]
FLANNEL: I think she might have been a racist.
MAMUI: Doesn't matter, had sex!
[Hinata is in bed with Oboro, who puts a paper bag with Takumi's face poorly drawn on it.]
HINATA: She put a bag on my head.
MAMUI: Still counts! I just had sex!
[Izana is holding sparkler fireworks. Femui is banging her head against the wall in the background.]
IZANA: And my dreams came true~
[Shigure gets out of bed while Female Kanna stares in confusion.]
SHIGURE: So if you had sex in the last thirty minutes, then you qualify to sing with me!
[Sakura burts out of a room with Mamui behind her looking flustered.]
SAKURA: I just had sex!
[The scene cuts to Male Kanna sitting in bed next to Mitama.]
Male Kanna: Everybody sing!
[Foleo and Eponine are sitting in their own bed, both looking pleased.
FOLEO & EPONINE: And it felt so good!
[Femui walks into Male Kanna's room to give him a thumbs up.]
FEMUI: We all had sex!
[Aqua and Harold are seen sitting together in bed.]
AQUA & HAROLD: A woman let me put my penis inside her!
[Anna is in bed with Mamui. She twirls her ponytail around.
ANNA & MAMUI: I just had sex!
[The scene cuts back to Saizou, who is still wearing is mask. Charlotte doesn't seem angry anymore.]
SAIZOU & CHARLOTTE: And I'll never go back!
[Kisaragi and Sophie walk out of their room together.]
KISARAGI & SOPHIE: To the not-having-sex ways of the past!
[The final scene is in Heaven, where Mikoto, Sumeragi, Shenmei, and the real Garon are all sitting around partially undressed with satisfied looks on their faces.]