Faster Than The Eye

>”You’re a fucking cheat!”
>Oh, how original of a complaint.
>Pandering to bar patrons is really a double edged sword.
>On the one hand, they tip very well on account of being liquored up to oblivion, and are too out of it to catch your more sloppy tricks.
>But on the other hand, they’re also aggressive drunks.
>You will /never/ forget the time a drunk old priest tried to perform an exorcism on you.
>Looking over at your heckler, you can tell they’re a good five Shock Tops into their drinking tonight.
>Not to mention the sixth one he’s currently nursing.
A: “Now, now, I assure you I’m no-”
>”Fuck off! You marked your goddamn deck!”
>Well, he’s not wrong, but you’re not going to /admit/ that.
>Just play it of Anon, that’s what you’re best at.
A: “If you would like, you can inspect the deck sir.”
>The drunk bastard looks you over, squinting.
>”Well, bring the fucking cards over! And I’m watching you, so no switching decks on me!”
>There goes the easy way out it seems.
>Oh well, you can just hope that he’s drunk enough to not notice the slight markings you have.
>Tossing over the deck, you watch, hoping for the best.
>”You see? That’s a fucking mark!”
>Fuck it, he’s got you.
>And /that’s/ your cue to get the fuck out.
A: “Enjoy the deck boys!”
>And out the door you go.

>Tonight’s a bust it seems.
>Not only are you down a deck, but your tips are awfully light tonight.
>You consider hitting another bar, but the mood has soured.
>So you decide to just cut your losses and head back to the apartment.
>It’s not very far from this bar, about a six minute walk.
>Once inside, you empty your pockets.
>Your phone, wallet two other decks, and a few other odds and ends are now strewn about a table.
>Home sweet home.
>You start dinner, but in the end aren't even that hungry.
>Lying down on your couch, you look up at your ceiling.
>Everything seems so far away right now.
>You’ve been honing your skills for years, ever since you were a kid, and you’re still doing tricks at bars for tips.
>Yeah, you’re young, but surely there’s more than /this/ for you at this stage of your life.
>All you need is a push.
>Something to put you over the edge, to get you ahead of everyone else.
>”Do I smell a desire for magic?!”

>You shoot up as you hear the voice.
>Who the hell?
>In front of you stands a large creature, an amalgam of what looks like a bunch of different species.
>You didn’t take any LCD did you?
>No, no, you haven’t touched that shit since that concert a year ago.
>This is… real.
>D: “Hey there! I hear you fancy yourself as a magician!”
>Seeing nothing else to do, you nod.
>D: Well, I think I can help with that! I can introduce you to a whole new world of magic!”
>Well, this might just be the devil, offering a deal.
>That’s metal as shit, but hey, you’re agnostic.
>So fuck it.
>Besides, this could be a dream anyways.
A: “Yeah, okay, I’m in.”
>They blink at you.
>D: “Well… that was… easy. I’m really good at this! But, enough of that, on to the alterations!”

>You look over the big, monster looking thing again, confused.
>What did they mean by “alterations?”
>It seems to be sizing you up, using its “hands” like a frame or lens.
>Kind of like how you see those fashion designers do in cliche TV.
>D: “Hmm, yes, yes! I have the perfect idea!”
A: “And /then/ I get to learn this magic, right?”
>D: “Oh, yeah, yeah, whatever.”
>You sigh a bit, you still aren’t sure what’s going on with all of this.
>”You’ll get a first hand look at a world of magic!” is a very steep promise, and this weird monster thing is weirding you out more and more as time goes on.
>Out of nowhere, the creature is wearing a tuxedo and a top hat, stereotypical stage magician garb.
>D: “I am probably nowhere as practiced as /you/, but I’m something of a fan of sleight of hand myself!”
>They start shuffling a big deck of cards, whistling to themselves as they do.
>All you can really do is stare at the absurd spectacle.
>D: “Pick a card, any card!”
>Playing along, you point at a card in the middle of the deck.
>He reveals the card to you, revealing the word “Dragon”.
>The card floats in the air, suspended by… well, magic you guess.
>D: “And another!”
>You pick another card, this one is revealed to read “Smoky Black”
A: “What does that even mean?”
>D: “Why, it’s scale color of course!”
>That card joins the other one, floating in the air.
>D: “Let’s go again!”

>One more card, this time, there’s not even a word, but the outline of some animal head.
>Its horns are highlighted, they curl backwards, reaching to almost to the back of the neck before stopping.
>And that card too floats towards the others.
>D: “I am /loving/ your choices, absolutely great.”
A: “I don’t exactly see a trick here, I’m just drawing from this deck.”
>The creature frowns a little.
>D: “Not amused?! I understand, the trick is a slow burn, but I’m sure I can find a way to spice it up!”
>In an instant, you find yourself fastened to… a wheel?
>D: “I’ll change the rest of the deck into knives, and the first three to stick into the board will take the place of drawing three more cards!”
A: “Wait, what?!”
>Without a moment of hesitation, he lobs a knife at the wheel.
>It lands close to your abdomen.
>D: “That knife said… oh, it said “green eyes”!”
>The knife leaves the board, and begins floating alongside those cards.
>D: “Now, to spice up the trick!”
>The wheel you’re on begins to slowly rotate.
>Good thing you’ve never really been prone to motion sickness, because this is disorienting as hell.
>Another knife goes flying, but this one misses the wheel completely.
>D: “Aaaw, the female knife! That’s a sad loss!”
>What the hell is this maniac talking about?

>Yet another knife flies your way.
>This one lands directly between your legs.
>Wew.
>D: “And the next one is… hmm, well, why /did/ I put this one in here? How do I even /make/ a ‘trustworthy face’? I’ll just... “
>They don’t seem to be playing it up right now.
>D: “I know! I’ll just go with /relatively persuasive/! Not some natural born cult leader, but you get the idea!”
A: “No I don’t!”
>The wheel begins to spin absurdly fast, no doubt in response to your retort.
>Knives begin zipping by, missing the target completely.
>Oh, so now he’s just toying with you.
>Sounds like a stage magician alright.
>Finally, after what seems like forever, the final blade sticks on the very edge of the wheel.
>D: “And to wrap it all up! Our big final effect is…”
>You listen as the wheel begins to slow down.
>D: “Well uh, I ran out of the fun knives, so I just grabbed one of yours…”
>Looking over, it was the knife in your sink from when you were chopping up the steak for dinner.
>D: “I’ll just say that means you have… cooking skills?”
>You shoot them a judgemental look.
>D: “It’s the /first/ performance of this trick! Give me a break! Hiccups are bound to happen!”

>You’re released from the wheel, falling on your ass with absolutely no grace.
A: “Now what?”
>D: “Why, the big climax of the trick!”
>The creature takes off their hat, making it grow exponentially in size.
>It’s big enough to fit, well, fit you!
A: “Wait a sec-”
>He drops the hat on you, instantly covering you and blotting out your vision.
>A moment later, he lifts it, and puts it back on his head as it shrinks.
>Everything seems… bigger.
>Looking down, you’re butt naked.
>However, that’s only the /second/ weirdest thing you’ve seen.
>Your whole body is covered in greyish black scales.
>You don’t even need to see your reflection to know what just happened.
>D: “Presto~”
>Their performance is capped with a bow as you sit there in utter confusion.
>D: “Now then, with the formalities out of the way, let’s get you to Equestria!”
A: “Equest-what?”
>Your voice sounds a little different, you can’t pinpoint how, but it’s a little off.
>D: “Your new, magical home!”
>It creates a big red cloth and drape you in it.
>D: “Now disappear!”
>Once they lift it, you’re still sitting there, somewhat in shock.
>He groans, snapping his fingers and sending you off.

>When you look around your surroundings, you’re not in your home anymore.
>The monster thing seems to be gone too.
>You stand up slowly, getting your bearings.
>There’s what looks like a messenger back next to you.
>Upon opening it, you see a bunch of materials, organized meticulously.
>There’s cards, rings, small bags, even some cooking utensils.
>Quaint.
>A note is also inside of the bag.
>”Dear Jazz (trust me, that name will fly much better here), I hope that your trip was smooth! You are in Equestria, a world you may know from your world’s My Little Pony’ where magic and the like are commonplace!”
>What the fuck?
>My Little Pony?
>When’s the last time you even /heard/ of that?
>You know what? It doesn’t matter right now.
>”You are a dragon and, as such, that means you have no natural magic powers! So, that means your skills will not go to waste!”
>So, you’ve been brought to a literal world of magic, and have no actual magic.
>Why does it suddenly feel like you’ve been swindled?

>”I’ve supplied you with all the materials you could possibly need for your act, along with assorted herbs and spices for your cooking.”
>So they weren’t kidding about that, alright then.
>”If you ever need to see me, find a lovely pony named Fluttershy, you can’t miss her. She’s pink and yellow, and absolutely delightful. You can usually find her graciously donating her time to help local animals.”
>You chuckle a little, that’s the writing of a man with some /choice/ interests.
>”Now then, I’ve dropped you off in the castle of this kingdom, no pressure! - Regards, Discord.”
>In the castle?
>That explains why everything looks so fancy and pristine here.
>But, you have a feeling these… ponies probably aren’t expecting a visit from you.
>Ah, there’s a door!
>Putting on your bag, you walk right through it.
>And right into a conversation between a few ponies.
>TS: “Princess Celestia are you sure that-”
>All eyes in the room turn to you.
>Well, time to put that showmanship into good use it seems.
>Royalty always likes having court entertainment, right?
>It’s time to give them some entertainment then!
>Just got to hope that this isn’t the “off with your head!” kind of royalty.

J: “Why, this isn’t the bathroom at all!”
>No reaction from either horse.
>Tough crowd then, alright, just got to warm them up is all.
J: “My humblest apologies your highness...es?”
>You have no idea if the other one is of royal blood, but best to be generous than to anger one of them.
>C: “Are you from the Dragonlands?”
>The what now?
>Are those a thing?
J: “I’m from… somewhere!”
>The two ponies give each other a worried look.
>TS: “Should we call the guards?”
>Shit, shit, shit, backpedal time!
J: “Okay, okay, the jokes aren’t landing and I take blame for that, I’m more of a magician than a comedian anyways. My name is Jazz, and I’ve been sent here by Discord!”
>Their eyes widen a bit.
>TS: “What is he planning /this/ time?”
>Oh even better, looks like they aren’t fans of this Discord guy.
J: “I don’t know! I was just dropped in this place by him!”
>The two begin to talk with each other in a hushed tone.
>You probably still have time to run like hell and live in the hills like a wildman if you book it now.
>But, there’s a chance that you aren’t going to absolutely murdered.

>C: “Jazz was it? Are you okay?”
>Well, that’s not what you expected, but you’ll definitely take it.
>You nod a little, rubbing your arm.
>C: “Well… Discord’s doing or not, you’re here now. And I believe that means we should extend a warm welcome.”
>Looks like your performance was a hit!
>That or they’re just really charitable.
>Either way, it doesn’t matter, you’re not getting beheaded!
>C: “You mentioned you were a magician? I’m sorry but, dragons don’t tend to be very… magically inclined.”
>You give a hearty little chuckle.
J: “I can promise you, I’m not like your average dragon!”
>It’s showtime, this could be one of your most important tricks ever.
>Time to pull out all the stops, no holds barred.
>Brandishing a standard, non-marked deck of cards, you shuffle them in your claws.
>These hands handle cards better than you thought!
>Lots of dexterity.
>Fanning the cards out in front of the princess, you shut your eyes.
J: “Pick a card, any card!”
>You feel the card leave the deck, you can just assume it wasn’t taken with their hooves.
J: “Show it to your friend, then put it back anywhere in the deck!”
>The hard part is already over, you felt them take the card you forced.
>The moment the card is back, you open your eyes.
>Your small audience looks on with wide eyes.
>After playing up the “process” for a while, you brandish a card triumphantly.
J: “Was this your card?!”
>It’s almost too basic, but you have a feeling these ladies aren’t quite familiar with the art of card tricks.
>TS: “That’s… that’s… incredible…”
>Bullseye.

>They have you repeat the trick a few times.
>You, of course, nail it both times.
>It’s one of the first tricks you mastered, a pretty trivial trick for you.
>After the fourth time, you toss the deck back into your bag.
J: “And that’s just a sample of what I do!”
>C: “I must say that I’m rather impressed. Tell me, how did you get to be proficient in magic?”
J: “It was pratice mostly, I sat down and just, well, just put my mind to it!”
>The bigger one, Celestia you think, nods in understanding.
>C: “If you had to gauge the extent of your power, how would you?”
>A good question…
J: “Good question! I must admit my craft is lacking in practical uses, there may be a few here or there, but in all honesty- I most likely pale in comparison to ladies as such as you two!”
>The younger one seems to blush a little at the compliment.
>If you had to guess, you’d say that you’re in good standings with these two!
>Not a bad start to your stay here, not bad at all!
>It was probably smart to not oversell yourself.
>You may get asked to prove yourself at any time, and the whole “liar revealed” trope is one you don’t want to live out.
>So, you’ll keep it as real as possible!

>TS: “That was quite the showing, but I believe Princess Celestia and I were in an important conversation…”
>C: “Yes, but I think it can wait until we have our guest situated. Would the Princess of Friendship care to exercise her title?”
>You almost swear you catch a bit of a smirk on Celestia’s face.
>After a moment, the smaller one nods.
>C: “Excellent. Now, Jazz, Princess Twilight Sparkle will lead you to a guest chamber you may stay in for the time being, I hope you find it to your liking.”
J: “Thanks! I’m sure it will be perfect, and you have been an amazing audience.”
>You give her a little bow before following this Twilight out the door.
>This place is certainly interesting, you can give it that.
>Being a dragon in some fantasy kingdom was never a possibility to you, but here you are now!
>But, if you’re going to be here for a while, you’ll probably need a bit more information about the place.
>Talking with Discord again probably wouldn’t hurt.
J: “Oh! Hey, do you know a Fluttershit?”
>TS: “Flutter...shit? Do you mean Fluttershy?”
J: “Um, yeah! My bad, I must have misheard Discord…”
>You chuckle softly, rubbing the back of your neck.
>No smooth way to play that one off, not really.
>TS: “But, yes, I do. She’s one of my best friends actually.”
J: “I’d expect nothing less from the Princess of Friendship!”
>Hey, this is going great! You’ve already got your link to the pony Discord told you about!

>TS: “And this is where you’ll be staying!”
>It’s a quaint looking room, nothing too grand, but definitely comfy.
>You sure as hell weren't going to complain.
>Twilight heads back, leaving you to your room.
>The first thing you do is walk over to the mirror.
>There you are: Jazz the Dragon.
>Jazz the black dragon.
>A black dragon… named Jazz.
>Discord you racist fuck.
>You chuckle at the thought as you really look yourself over.
>Never did you ever expect to inspect your tail before.
>So surreal!
>But, not exactly bad.
>You're a lot shorter than before, but your reflexes seem a lot more honed.
>All the better for your tricks.
>Having seen enough of your body, you lie on the bed.
>It's only mid afternoon, but you’re tired.
>Kinda like jet lag maybe?
>Makes sense, it was nighttime when you were sent here.
>You fluff your pillow and throw your covers over yourself.
>Time for sleep!

>When you wake up, there’s a horse in your room.
>It makes you jump a bit, messing up your somewhat tidy bed.
>Oh right, ponies, they’re all horses.
>”I brought you some breakfast”
>The random horse-pony leaves you a tray, before quickly departing.
>Not big on the small talk it seems.
>You sit up, looking at the tray.
>Eggs, toast, oatmeal… a perfectly made homemade breakfast.
>You prefer omelets, but over-medium eggs are nothing to complain about.
>You dig in, savoring every bite.
>Best. Eggs. Ever.
>It’s a good thing they didn’t have you go out to a dining hall for breakfast, because you are very, very hungry.
>If this what meat, you’d probably be covered in juices and blood.
>And then your sheets would be all messy too, and that means /someone/ would have to clean them.
>What a mess.
>Yeah, good thing you’re just eating eggs!
>Although, once you master table manners, a steak wouldn’t hurt at all.
>Once you’re finished with your meal, you get out of the bed entirely.
>What to do with yourself today?