i am in the year 2029

nick is entering year three of a legal dispute with the estate of tim allen (RIP) who are suing over his use of the home improvement theme song which they claim planted the first seeds for his global cum empire (now worth an estimated 472 billion USD). The media frenzy surrounding the case is bigger than OJ Simpson, 9/11 and the president Kanye sex-clone scandal combined (you'll see).

Mullen relapsed 5 years ago but got clean a few months later after a public incident that forced him to go into hiding for nearly a year. He reemerged in 2026 with a surprising amount of fan support and is currently working on his 4th animated series, this time for HBO.

adam and stav parted ways with cumtown years ago. they both settled down, started families and only speak to each other on occasion, usually about basketball. Stav does his best to avoid bringing up cumtown or especially nick when speaking to Adam.

Adam has a 7 year old non-binary child by Dasha, but is now married to a jewish woman from his youth who he reconnected with in 2025. he keeps a pretty private life and declines to speak publicly about his time as a cum boy

stav is the only one still pursuing stand up comedy, although he remains relatively unknown despite some minor movie, TV and VR ultraporn cameos in the mid 20's. Stav and nick share the occasional tense conversation but they always keep it secret. Nick sometimes asks how adam is doing and stav simply responds by saying nick has to forgive himself and that "it's not his fault that the coke was bad" and "dasha was a grown woman who knew the risks of doing drugs."

None of this gives much comfort to nick. He hangs up the hologram phone and goes back to playing his new playstation 7, tears streaming down his face at 5 AM. The loud gunfire from his game drowns out the sound of her twitching, overdosed body

oh and half of you reading this are now dead or in jail (you know what the charges are)