Thread 9: Stories 61-75

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>42
"Cadence"
~~~~~~

>HOLY SHIT!

The door to her room suddenly slammed open in a frenzy.

"42!? What is it!? What's wrong!?"

The changeling only clamped up, and tried to make herself seem as small as possible.

>N-nooothing. What's up with you? Doing good? How's the life?

"..."

>...

"...What are you hiding?"

>Hiding? Me? Cadence, how horrible of you to stick to such racist stereotypes. I thought you better than that. For. Shame.

"...You realize I can see you shift when I try to peer around your back, right?"

>Purely muscle spasms, I have recently gone through a strenuous ordeal.

"...I can kind of see what looks like the edge of some kind of paper."

>...Military ledgers.

"That looks like a hoof."

>...Biology pictures.

"More specifically, a stallions hoof."

>...Biology pictures for our soldiers.

"Really? They print biology fold outs on calender paper now?"

>...Yes. They absolutely do that. That is clearly a thing they would do, and you should talk to them about it. Away from me.

"...Oh, for the love of... Stay here."

She would love to have disobeyed her and leapt from the window, were she not actually so injured that was clearly impossible. The robots had won at least one victory, it seemed.

After a quick double check, no, 42's heart had not resumed by the time Cadence re-entered the room with a little wooden box with a lock.

"That calender is way, WAY outdated. We weren't even dating when those got taken. We're talking early-guard days."

She handed the box to a still-as-death 42, and unlocked it.

"These are way more recent... and better shot too!"

>...I-I-I-

"I know."

She smirked.

"No calls."
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>Celestia
"Luna"
[robots]
~~~~~
From the highest roofs of Canterlot Castle, Luna used her Royal Canterlot voice to assist in directing troops while she and Celestia took turns pot sniping heavy hitters

[*BZZT!* AUNTIE CELESTIA PLEASE ESCAPE TO THE PANIC ROOM]

>Ugh! Another one! Luna, would you please?

"with pleasure, sister."

Luna telekinetically hurls the robot into a Motorized Spike, crushing them both and saving a few soldiers.

"GRAB THE CRANK GUNS! THEY ONLY POSSESS TWO HUNDRED ROUNDS TOTAL BUT HAVE THE BEST DPS OF ANY OTHER GUN!"

Celestia focuses and fires a lance of hot plasma through a handydog attempting to get the drop on a juggernaut pilot. The pilot then looked up to Celestia and praised the sun

Another robot lands behind the princesses

[*BZZT!* AUNTIE CELESTIA PLEASE ESCAPE TO THE PANIC ROOM]

"Sister, shall-"

>No... this is my fault, Luna. I will deal with it.

Celestia proceeds to pick up the robot and begin overloading it with thermodynamic energy then throwing it into a swarm of robots battling a pinned down guard platoon

[*BZZT!* ERROR! ERROR!]

"FIRE IN THE HOLE! EASTERN WING!"
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>AJ 18
"Cadance"
[AJ 2]
======

Applejack 18 deftly dodges an abacus aimed at her head, letting it smash against the wall.

>That won't help you. I have many more.

"Still … it felt good."

>Enjoy your good feelings, it may a long time before you feel them again. Which reminds me, 42 and the Queen are in the hot tub with Shiny, and they're getting mighty … frisky. All three of them.

"I don't believe you!"

>The fact remains, you will find him in flagrante delicto with a changeling the next time you see him - if he ever wants to see you again. You could have saved yourself a lot of trouble if you'd just listened to teacher.

"I want … to see … another tutor …"

>There is no such pony. The official story is that you went on a spa trip of unspecified duration. No one knows that you're in this room with me, as you will be for as long. As. It. Takes.

"..."

>You do, however, have a choice. You can spend the rest of the weekend, or longer, locked in here, subject to my whims… Or you could run down to the hot tub right now, maybe even in time to save your marriage.

"…"

>It's up to you; a nice, hot, relaxing bath with your handsome, kind, understanding husband… or this …

"… what must I do?"

>Oh, nothing really.

"…"

>Just tell me … how many crayons do you see?

"…"

>How many? How many crayons?

*SMASH*

[Mom, Mom, you gotta come with me to the hot tub! We're having a pool-noodle fight- Oh, hi 18!]

Applejack 18 facehoofs and groans.

>Please 2, your Mom and I have some unfinished business …

[Hmmm, crayons are fun … But nah! C'mon, Somby. You gotta carry Mom, she looks sleepy. To the tuuuuub!]

They start dragging Cadance away, but halfway to the door she shakes off Sombra's smoketacles and turns to 18. Cadance looks horrible, bags under her eyes, hair a mess, shaking like a leaf - it's like she hasn't had her mane styled in six hours!

"THERE! ARE! GREEN! CRAYONS!"
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>Twilight
[Robots]
~~~~~
We join our heroine tonight, wandering the bowels of the airship, fighting through swarm after swarm of robot hordes

[HE-HEY! LOTTA GOOD THAT GUN DI- AH!]

>Cheap.

[ZENTLEME- AHHHH!]

>Cheap!

[I AM BULLET- AAAAARGHYEARGH!]

>CHEAP!!! BLUEBLOOD! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY MURDER MACHINES?! I've seen better robots built in a WALMART!

[REJOICE! FOR DEATH HAS NO STING!]

>Okay, that's new...

DAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKA!

Twilight doesn't even flinch, she just lets the bullets fly and catch into an increasingly hot and trembling lob of volatile metal

>*Yawn* Return to sender.

She tosses the orb as the Motorized Spike attempts to reload and is promptly blown to bits.

Then, a handydog leaps out towards her!

[EVERY STEP IS LIKE COALS!]

>Seize gears!

The spell locks the handydog down inches before it's fist connects with Twilight who behind it and begins fiddling with the wiring

>Feel better?

[My-... My body! I can control my body! Gonna make Blueblood pay for what he did to me!]

>Go get'em, tiger.

The Handydog leaps off, obliterating many machines in his wake

>Ugh, I wish the others hadn't left me behind... This place is a labyrinth and I'm getting bored coming up with new ways to kill these things. I should have brought some guns- I know! I'll make new guns!

A swarm of robots closes in on Twilight

Her horn glows and flares and the mob pauses as their bolts, screws, and bits float from their bodies and soon they fall to pieces

From there, Twilight sets to work with her next weapon, and after seconds of back breaking labor, she unveils...

>THE LUMOUS GLADIUM!

Her achievement was mitigated when a pice of machinery flew on its rails and slammed her out through a gap in the hull, dropping her to the ground below where she found herself surrounded by robots on their way to Apploosa

[DESTROY: TWILIGHT]

[ROGERROGER]

Twilight's eyes narrow and she ignites the purple blade of energy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cF3ocZu4cZo
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>Harshwhinny
“AJ12”
_______

>Well?

“That’s a good question. Darn good really. Well. Well, well, well. Well what?”

>Wow me.

“Vague demand there, ma’am. I could, uh… oh! See this pencil here? Okay, now watch this. You watching? Watch. Bam. I can slide it through these holes of mine!”

>…

“Are we wow’d? We… no? Not wow’d? Probably not, you’re scowling pretty hard right there. Does that hurt? I’d swear it does."

>Mr. Changeling-

“AJ12, ma’am.”

>Did you just attempt to correct me?

“Me? Psssh, no, never.”

>I didn’t think so. Now, the only thing I’m interested in seeing is something that can widen my eyes, steal my breath away, change my perspective on certain things and give me good cause to hire you as my assistant.

“…Is this a secretary interview or am I trying out for the Olympics?”

>You would need Olympic-reaching ambition to attempt this position.

“Those rhymes, though.”

>Excuse me?

“I said I think I’ll find the door myself. Your glare is so deep it’s melting my chitin. Thanks again for the opportunity.”

>Folding under the pressure are we, Mr. Changeling? Can’t handle a mare like me breathing down your neck?

“…the look in your eyes just changed. Why did… nope, not Changeling enough for you, ma’am. G’day!”
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>Applejack
“AJ56”
__________

He could hear it again, even in his subconscious. It’s what woke him up, actually, but did he mind? Nope, not one bit. He only shuffled onto his side within his basket next to Applejack’s bed and cracked open an eye, the ear not buried against pillow perking to that melodious sound.

>Ah have often dreamed, of a far off place, where’s a pony’s welcome, would be waitin’ fer’ me…~

56 sat up, rubbing at his eye with a hoof and stifled a fast-building yawn, not wanting to bring attention to himself.

>Where the crowds will cheer, when they see mah face, and a voice keeps sayin’, this is where Ah’m meant t’be….~

She stood by the windowsill as she often did whenever the urge to caress the world with some early morning singing gripped her. There was a different kind of beauty to her delicately freckled face whenever she sang, as the emotions took hold and a voice that was still sweetly tinged with her Southern drawl escaped.

>Ah’ll be there someday, Ah can go the distance. Ah can find mah way, if Ah can be strong…~

He was moving towards her without realizing, hooves dragging over the cold marble floor, but she didn’t seem to notice. And she continued not to notice until he was at her side, blearily glancing out the window to behold a kingdom stirring to life under the rising sun.

She wrapped a warm hoof over his shoulders and dragged him in front of her so she could rest her chin softly atop his head. Did he mind? Nope, not one bit. Love was practically wafting off her in this moment, as it usually did, and it didn’t impede her singing even for a second.

>Ah know every mile, will be worth mah while, when Ah go the distance… Ah’ll be right where Ah belong.~

“Which is riiiight here. Mornin’, orangebutt.”

She smiled down at the sleepy Changeling grinning up at her.

>Mornin’, sugar.
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>AJ
"Rarity"
-Spike-
*Doll*
~~~~~

>How... nice o' ya'll to join us fer' the fair, Rarity.

"Well, darling this carnival is just so marvelous, how could I resist? Such games, such prizes, such... sights?"

>Ah' see Spike has also won ya' a stuffed animal.

"Isn't it just the best, darling?"

>Nah, that would be mine.

"Oh please, Spike clearly gave me the better one. Look at her hair!"

>...It is nice, but look at how fluffy mine is!

"Oh, alright, it is quite fluffy. But I can see you jealously staring at her hat, darling."

>O-oh yeah! Well... Mine has a little button, what do ya'll think is gonna happen when I press it?

"As if I could possibly care about"

*Beauty is only skin deep, but I'm fabulous to the core!*

"..."

>Ooooh, someone's startin' ta shaaake!

"O-o-oh yeah!? Well... mine has a button too! Let's see what it does!"

>...

"...Oh, I see, it makes her legs kick like it was bucking something."

>...I-It has k-kung fu' applebuckin' action!?

"...It that hat invertible? Like... two hats in one...?
"

>Is that a lasso?

"..."
>...

>"GIMME THAT DOLL!"

-Hey girls! I won some more...-

One day, he would question why the two best friends were currently all but killing each other to get to the other's doll, while being careful not to harm their own. But for now, he resigned himself to what he feels was a universal truth.

-I don't understand mares.-
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>Octavia
"Vinyl"
~~~~~

>This is the last time, the LAST time I come down to Ponyville! EVER! This place can go suck a rotted lemon!

"Ahhh, don't be like that! We're fun down here. Real fun. Just landed on a bit of an off day, that's all."

>THERE ARE ROBOTS SHOOTING AT US!

"Man, you should have been here when the smokey nightmare soldiers attacked!"

>I was there for that!... I think? Did that actually happen? It's really, really hazy.

"Yeah, you were pretty out of it. Noteworthy had an amazing time, though."

>...Are you implying-

"No no, don't be like that, it's all fun! We're fun."

>The robots are not fun!

"Wow, you are just being totally negative here. Sapping my mojo, I want you to know. My mojo? VVVVVVVP! Sucked out. You need to stop being that girl, Octavia, nobody likes that girl. That girl's a bitch."

>...Are you on drugs?

"YOU CAN'T PROVE THAT, TALKING PURPLE ZEBRACORN!"
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>Spike
[DT]
{77}
-'42'/07-
~Applejack~
~~~~~
The battle had only just finished, but it seemed so far from over. Blueblood had escaped but did his damnest to make sure his defeat would still claim many lives...

[We have to escape from this ship! The Reaction is going to go critical!]

>What about the citizens of Apploosa below?! The Buffulo Tribes?! They all be caught in the blast?

{It's too late for them, Spike.}

>Is there any way to stop the self destruct?

-Forget about it, kid, the only way would be to manually shut down the reactor and at this stage, not even a rad suit could help- Where are you going, the radiation will fry any changeling or pony like a baked potatoe!

>Then it's fortunate I'm not a pony.

Not attempts to stop him could impede him, he only marched forward, determined to save the people below. After too long, a panicked applejack demanded to know where Spike was and was led to the reactor, where she found the power source quiet and a burned Spike leaning against the glass

>I... Have... And will always love you.

Applejack touched her hoof against the glass, against his pressed claws and watched them slowly slide down.

Sorrow soon turned to anger at the villain who escaped justice..

~BLUEBLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!~

NON CANON
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>Vinyl
"Octavia"
'Applebloom'
~~~~~
>COME ON, YOU ROBOT BASTARDS! COME AND GET ME! I WILL BASS CANNON EVERYTHING YOU LOVE!

"GET DOWN, FOOL!"

'Is she okay? She keeps holding that cake like a gun and calling it a bass cannon. What is a bass canon anyway?'

>WHOOOOO! AFTER THIS PARTY, EVERYONE COME TO MY PLACE FOR AN ORGY AND MORE MUSIC!

"Please... just don't mind her. I try not to."

>HEY! THIS RAVE NOW HAS LASERS!

'Whot?'

"RUN!"
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Spike limps away from a group of dead robots, still injured from Flash Sentry's beatdown and running low on ammo.

"Charity, if this keeps up, I think I'm gonna have to retire early."

"Spikey, don't talk like that, just don't let go and please hold on for a little longer. Help is coming!" his weapon urged him.

The dragon threw back his head and laughed. "Thanks for the reassurance, but Twilight was right, we should have stuck together... We might be good but we're all too used to being lone wolves in our efforts and I don't see that paying off right now. Every time we blow up one control unit or scrap a whole army of bots, there's more waiting."

"Please, don't give up, darling. We're coming for you!"

Spike quirked an eyebrow, and a hundred miles away, on the back of another princess, Rarity slapped her mouth shut.

"'Give up?' Who said anything about that? I'm just saying success is probably not gonna be my thing." Spike opens the door which had been guarded not long ago. "I guess, in the end, I really am just a kid..."

Then, he sees it on the table and smiles.

"A kid who loves his toys." He picks up the strange weapon and strokes it lovingly while checking it over. "Hello, darling, what's your name? 'Ion Laser', huh? But, oh, you poor dear... You look so slipshod. Well, come with me and once this is over, we'll let Twilight look at you. But first..." He grabs the blueprints and instructions and loads in a power cell, testing the new weapon on some robot bodies and watching them cut to pieces.

"This... I like this new weapon!"

"Spikey, just keep yourself safe!"

Her only response is maniacal laughter and the sound of robots being introduced to spikes new cannon.

"Spikey?"

>Not now charity, i'm having a blast here!

"That was terrible darling."

>Dont care! Whooooooo!

Charity only hmph's disapprovingly while trying to convince herself that she wasn't jealous.

'It's so uncouth and inaccurate, how can he bring himself to use that over me.'

>What was that?

"I said it's almost quarter to three, we should look for the others."

>Few more minutes, i almost have over fifty confirmed kills with this thing!

'Hmph, it's only fifty, whats so great about that?'

Not jealous at all.

>I am loving this thing!

"No..."

>I know! i'm gonna name you

"No!"

>CRACKERJACK!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

At this point, Rarity begins to strangle Applejack

'Ack- Wha' in- gack! Rares! Can'-ulk! Fly!'

"DIE! DIE! JUST DIE! IF YOU HAVE ANY SENSE OF DECENCY! YOU WILL JUST DIE NOW!"

And then she noticed the two of them were now on a downward spiral towards Appleloosa proper.

"WITH MY LAST BREATH I BLAME CELESTIA!"

'AH BLAME YOU!'

...

>Awesome! These powercells the robots run on also power the ion laser!
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>SA
"Cadence"
~~

There wasn't much to do at the moment. The repairs for the area where the Crystal Heart resides were nearly finished, and the city had sustained no damage besides. No way to assist in the final assault, Shining Armor could only think of one way to pass the time.

>Ow. Ow. Ow.

"Do you have to do that every time you pull out a shard of metal?"

Funny, he didn't even hear her come in.

>Oh it doesn't actually bother me, just being a little silly.

"Yes... silly..."

Damn, he knew that tone.

>Cadence, I'm fine.

"Oh, I know... you're alright..."

As convincing as Blueblood's finest robot double.

>Cadence... come here.

He probably didn't need those ribs anyway.

"I was so scared..."

>Why? You know I could handle myself.

"B-but... when she- when she drained the Crystal Heart... I knew you would never, never let her do that, and she would need one of us to get in. A-a-and... she looked so angry. I thought..."

>You thought something had set her off.

"...I couldn't see your light, Shiny. I felt... just like they all did when the Heart fell. Drained."

Hopefully, she wouldn't need those ribs either.

>Cadence, I promise you. I will always, always be here for you. No matter what happens.

"Shiny... I'm the immortal one, you're not."

The silence said it all after that.

>Well then, I have to become a smoke monster. It's obvious.

"... Shinyyy!"

>Or better yet, some sort of half machine creation, with an extendable di-OOF!

"Be serious!"

>Oh, alright, if you insist. I guess you'll just have to settle with knowing that even if this handsome body right here is temporary...

His lips met hers, just briefly.

>That's forever.

She smiled as he brushed the tears from her eyes.

"I love you."

>I love you too.

They don't know how long they sat there, just remaining in each others embrace.

All they knew, is that they wouldn't have traded a single moment for all the riches in the world.
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Not in Order Chronologically

“56”
>Chrysalis
'36'
~~~~~

“Hey Mom, whatcha doing?”

>Watching a terrible movie...

“... But that's Hearts and Hooves of Passion, that's your favorite!”

>The plot's overused, the character's are under welming and the setting is inconsistent, its just atrocious.

56 stared at her a moment before looking around, his eyes eventually settling on the tub of ice cream on her lap.

“They make coffee ice cream!?”

>I know, I wasn't expecting it either, but this was the only flavor 32 could find for me. Anyway, what is it you need?

“O-oh, I got an assignment from Miss Cheerilee today and I need your help.”

>Then I guess today is your lucky day, what is it?

“It's about our family history.

Chrysalis stared at him for a very long moment causing 56 to shuffle his hooves.

“Y-you know, like how it started and all that...”

She continued to stare for another brief moment before nodding her head slowly.

>Alright, but it's a very, very long story and depending how you look at it... a rather sad one.

“Ok! Let me just go get my things!”

With that the young changeling took off running. Chrysalis took a look at the half empty tub in her lap before calling out.

>36?

'Yes, your Highness?'

>I'm going to need another tub of ice cream.

“56”
>Chrysalis
~~~~~

“Ok, I got my stuff Mom!”

>Alright, and listen closely, I'm only telling this once. Too understand how our family came to be I will need to tell you how things used to be.

56 shifted excitedly his school supplies scattered about him.

>A long time ago, there where only three things in changeling society. The Queen, The princess, and the Hivemind-

“Hivemind?”

>Don't interrupt 56, I wasn't finished.

“S-sorry...”

>Now, as it had been for countless centuries The Queen ruled the empire, and when she found a proper mate, she would make a special egg, filled with all the love she could spare. This egg would later hatch into the Princess. Now the Queen like all other changelings where connected to the Hivemind. The Princess is not.

“Why not?”

>Good question. Being disconnected from the Hivemind, the Princess was forced to learn how to interact with her subject without knowing what they where thinking or feeling at that moment. It taught the Princess how to rule. Now when the Princess had finally learned everything she could and proved she could lead, The Queen would finally give the Princess her love and heart.

“Her heart?”

>Yes, her heart. The heart is the single most important part of a Changeling, it allows us to filter in love and turn it into food, but to the Queen and Princess, it is so much more. When a Queen gives her heart, she passes on not only her power, but the collective knowledge of every Queen who came before and the Princess would finally join the Hivemind.

“Wow... That's kinda cool... and nasty.”

>Yes, It is cool... and nasty. Anyway, this was how thing were since as long as we can remember. But then something happened.

“What, what happened?”

>The Miraculous Tragedy... Aren't you gonna write any of this down?

“O-oh! Hold on a sec!”

Chrysalis smiled almost fondly as 56 fumbled with his pencils and paper. With a sigh she ate another spoonful of ice cream.

>...

“...and done, keep going!”

Chrysalis nodded taking the spoon out of her mouth and once again getting ready to speak.

>Ok, now then. The Miraculous Tragedy. A young Queen, barely finishing digesting her Mother's heart, found her self in a position that no other Queen had ever found herself in. Normally a Queen looks for a mate to seduce and drain. Instead, the Queen, out on a stroll was discovered by a noble Prince.

“What was his name?”

>What?

“What was his name?”

>I don't know... There are a lot of thing I don't know...

“Huh?”

>I'll get to that later... Well, when The Prince found the Queen something happened. Love at first sight, True Love. It had never happened before, and it hasn't happened since, but it happened and our fate was sealed.

“What happened next?”

>The Miracle... The Prince and Queen together ruled the empire until one night, when their shared and mutual love was at it highest, The Queen gave birth to not an egg... but something more.

“What?”

She leaned in with a smirk.

>The Chrysalis.

“Hey, that's just like your name!”

Chrysalis nodded with a smile.

>Yep, just like it. Now anyone smart like Twilight will probably tell you that's the wrong name for it, it was more like a really really big egg... and it grew bigger and bigger. Until finally, when it hatched, Nine Princesses came out at once! It was the most incredible event in Changeling history and The Queen, The Prince and the Hivemind rejoiced. And like so many times before the Princesses struggled to learn how to rule and eventually when the time was right it came time to pass on the Queen's Heart.

“Wow...”

Chrysalis expression then turned sad.

>Then the Tragedy occurred. This is what doomed the once mighty Changeling Empire. When The Queen passed on her Love it was divided equally and each gain enough power to become a Queen, but when it came time to ingest the heart. Well, like all women... When it comes to matters of the heart... no women like to share what they think is theirs and theirs alone. It became a free for all and no one got an equal portion of knowledge and some parts where lost entirely.

“...What happened then?”

>Under the pressure of Nine raging Queens... The Hivemind, the singular network that linked every changeling together, shattered under the stress. And so we became divided and a little bitter. Each Queen took a portion of the Changeling population and went there own way, leaving behind our once glorious empire...

“That's sad...”


>Yes... Yes it is. But it was also a good thing.

“Huh, how come?

>Cause with the destruction of the Hivemind came diversity. And each and every changeling since has become their own being. Wither it's fighting, an addiction to fire, being cute as a button, or even...

She poked 56 on the nose.

>Having a rather strong fascination with plots. We might have lost something great but we got something even better in return.

“That's really nice... but how does us separating make us a family?”

>Well, before every Queen saw the other changelings as servants, and so did the changelings, but without the Hivemind, the Queen was no longer the singular voice that stood out, and the Queen had to rule like any other pony noble. That meant she had to develop relationships with her changelings and while that meant little in the immediate days that followed, as times went on and with each new generation of changelings. The Queens and changelings became more of a unit with everyone listening to their Queen as the head of the family.

"Oh..."

>And of course the cycle continued with new princesses being born and the whole thing started all over again. And as time went on, the colonies eventually began interacting with each other. Most of the grudges were mended enough that by the time I came around I was able to spend time with my cousins, aunts and grand aunts, even if we occasionally tried to kill and eat each other.

"Wow... I bet it kinda makes you sad that we're the last colony and that your the last Queen, huh?"

Chrysalis froze for a moment before leaning in.

>I wouldn't be so sure if I we're you 56...

"Huh, why do you say that?"

*Skitter Skitter Skitter*

Chrysalis looked over 56's shoulder towards a vent on the wall, a pair of red tinted eyes looking at her from behind the grate.

>Call it a hunch... Now go write your paper! I want to get back to my movie!

NON CANON
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>MM
"29"
'Big mac'
-Ocatavia-
~Vinyl~
[AJ 10]
{BBB}
~~~~~

>Alright, you are all gathered here today because... well, because you are the only ones who haven't been horribly injured and/or are under the age of ten.

"And we want you all to know, this is a sad, sad day."

>Point is, we have no guards stationed, here, and there are robots. Robots with guns. And, unfortunately, the six ponies and occasionally single dragon we normally look to for every single problem are not here.

'So ya'll want us ta' fight?'

>That would be preferable, yes.

'...Isn't that what we were already doin'?'

-Not that you would know, since you were holed up in your office!-

>Hey! There were over a dozen destroyed robots in my room!

-YOU WERE PLAYING TWISTER!-

>No, I was WINNING Twister.

"Because you kept bumping against the Sword of Fantasy!"

>All is fair in love and Twister!

~HAH! I like this girl. And that bug guy. Hey! Bug guy! You and her want to join me in an orgy rave after this?!~

"Ew. Commoners."

~Your loss!~

[Uh, I don't really fight. I'm more about, like, filming stuff. But none of them are willing to be interviewed, it's a real bummer.]

"We more want your killer robot than you, sweetums."

[He's not a killer robot!]

{I HAVE FOUND THAT I HAVE A LASER CANNON! CAN I SHOW MY FELLOW MACHINES? THEY WILL BE SO EXCITED!}

>...

[...He's not!]

'Well, why don't ya'll fight 'em?'

>I'm a non-motivated public official, how good am I going to be in a fight?

"I just shined my hooves, and they are beautiful."

>Point is, you are now... erm... B-team! Yes. Go forth, B-team, and save the day!

{ERROR! THE DAY CANNOT BE SAVED! IT IS A CONCEPT AND THUS CANNOT BE PLACED IN PHYSICAL HARM!}

[You tell 'em!]

~Hey, robot what kind of accessories do you come with!? PFFTHAHAHAH!~

-Never, ever coming back.-

"...We're doomed."

>....eeee-

'Mayor? Ah' got this. Eeeeeyup.'
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>Changeling folklore
Challenge accepted
~~~~~
Once upon a distant time, so long ago now, so far behind.
The Swarm was many, strong, and vast, but all these good things, they would not last.
One hive, who lived in earth's dark embrace, met with a demon who took their face.
They dug too deep and much too far, the infected swarm did surface beneath the stars.
Strange stocks, and branches, disgusting blooms, minds set to infect others with poisonous fumes.
Changeling against changeling, our civil war was long
Queen sacrificed themselves, purge the viral spawn.
Nights and hives vanished in hellish blaze! Tears and wails of broken families filled the days.
When at last the final fiend was slain, our empire was shattered, our strength decayed.
But one drone spoke prophecies of doom, a day may come again when cordyceps bloomed.
To all hives and swarms, from queen to drone, take this heed where e'er you roam:
Beware fell winds of toxic red, only fire protects from the living dead,
Remain vigilant 'til the end, for none are spared, Queen, drone, griffon, dragon, or pony can all fall to the fungus' vial air.
-Ancient Tablet found in the ruins of Spiderella's hive, translated by Queen Chrysalis for Twilight Sparkle's "Changeling Cultural and Historical Research outreach program"
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