monday fundayyy

Not Monday but I'm making a pastebin anyway.

Today marks the first day in about two years where I stop lying to myself about who my friends are (this does not pertain in any way to speedfriends, as they are forever friends). Some things have bothered me a long time, especially with the group of people I have had to work with in school over the duration of my acting studies. It was literally the worst that humanity has to offer, packed into one class and quite frankly, today, when I woke up, I was so sick and tired of pretending. Pretending to like some people, pretending like some people didn't scare the absolute shit out of me, pretending that some of those people didn't legitimately give me nightmares. Long story short, they are now gone. I have re-evaluated some other things with my life and with other people and I am now going to move on with my life and focus on the things that matter for me, which I will outline below:

1) Streaming - I love streaming. It really takes my mind off of things and I love entertaining people and talking with old friends. I really cannot express my gratitude for the people who have stayed subscribed for so long, even through my numerous absences and have truly helped me through a very rough couple of weeks. I am going to continue re-learning Jak 100% because I enjoy it. My chat is absolute fucking shit when I play it, but I love the game. Not sorry if this offends you. I really love running Spyro 3 Reignited and I'd love to play more casual and RPG Maker games in the future. Siren is also awesome and I hope to improve my any% record and then move on to Siren 2 again! I still have that itch to get the Blood Curse WR, so I'll see about going for that as well. I still have a backlog of subscriber games that I will get through, mostly Metal Gear Solid games. All in all, this is going to be my main focus again for a while and I can't wait to see and chat with all of you!

2) Speed friends - I miss you all more than anything. I'd love to talk with you guys again. Hit me up on Discord or Mumble or whatever, don't give a shit. Would love to catch up. Planning on going to a GDQ just to hang out at some point. Don't know when. Rooms and all that shit are a real hassle and I never have anyone to room with, so the chances of me actually going are low but I'll try. Let's game sometime (and not at 3am Patty (you have been streaming earlier lately I'll give you that)).

3) HAUNT - This project now means more to me than ever. I'm going to focus on making this the best experience for you. The past two years have given me QUITE A BIT OF CONTENT AND INSPIRATION so I'm going to shove that in there somewhere. The website will be updated soon and music will be recorded. Animation is already underway. If things go down the tubes, I'll just borrow some placeholder music and put subtitles in place of voices. I want to get this concept out there, and I'm going to do whatever it takes. As per my parting ways with numerous classmates who helped with the voice acting, I'm at a loss. I kept one voice actor's clips in there because this person is actually somewhat my friend, but I'm not going to use the other voices I have recorded. If you want to try out for some horror game voice acting, send me a DM.

4) Gym - Seeing steady progress, going to lift heavier and make more gains. Really don't see myself stopping this any time soon.

5) Cosplay - Unfortunately, I don't think I'll make it to Otakuthon this year, but I'm looking for a photographer in my area so I can keep a steady stream of images going!

6) School - One more year until a BA, then I'm out for good.

The skinny of it is, I'm not pretending anymore. I'm too honest for all this bullshit. I'm too old for all this drama. Streaming is my priority now. Speed friends are my priority now. Be honest with each other. Treat your friends with respect. And most importantly, know who your real ones are. I know what I want in life, and I'm going to stay true to myself and not let this repetitive negativity get in the way. Time to focus on me. And yea, that's all bitch