Defensive EV Guide

This guide will serve as a sort of monument of me spending far too much time playing Pokémon, and an effort to at least help
people  who aren't entirely sure about where to place EVs for defensively-inclined Pokémon.  Maybe I'll add in a section on how
to EV a mixed attacker, that's using a guide on defense in a creative, fun-for-everyone-except-the-foe way.
For the purpose of the guide, I'm just going to start with some clarifications:

** If you don't what EVs are, go find a guide on http://google.com **

-I will be using some standard terminology like Specs, Mixed, 2HKO, and Stealth Rock. If its confusing, try googling the term.
-I also tend to mix my own terminolgy in. Here's a quick run down:
>Offensive stats: Attack, Special Attack, and Speed. I abbrevate them as Atk, Sp. Atk, and Speed, respectively.
>Defensive stats: HP, Defense, and Special Defense. I abbreviate them as HP, Def, and Sp. Def, respectively.
>Skewed defenses: One high defensive stat, and a much lower defensive stat. Example being Blissey.
>Wall: Usually runs a very high amount of EVs into defensive stats. A Skarmory with 252 HP, 252 Def, and 4 Sp. Def is an example.
>Tank: Usually runs a significant amount of EVs in defensive stats and Atk or Sp. Atk. Conkeldurr or Reuniclus are examples.
>Meant to take a hit and hit back hard, but are slow. Think of a literal tank. Slow, strong, tough.

-Yes, its going to be a big wall of text and there's no pictures. If your not a fan of text walls, this won't be fun.
-Comedic relief here and there, we all need a break and  Pokémon is srs effing biznss.

As is my style, we shall start simple and get more... advanced.
A good rule of thumb is, if your going for something bulky, HP investment is usually the best place to put EVs. This is because
HP counts for both physical AND special based attacks, so 4 HP EVs are similar to having 4 EVs in Defense and Sp. Defense.
Like any rule of thumb though, its general: there are plenty of exceptions. Pokémon with skewed defensive stats often get better
results by investing EVs in the weak stat: Vaporeon for example gets a lot more out of max Defense than HP.
Dusknoir is another example of skewed defenses: its impressive base 135 Def  and Sp. Def  are cruely paired with a miserable
Base 45 HP:  Its pitiful HP means that 252 HP EV's are basically a requirement to endure anything.
To summarize all that: HP is usually the best place to put EVs for defensive reasons, except things with high HP stats and one or
more low Def/Sp.Def stats. Stuff like Swampert, go with HP. Stuff like Wailord, go with Def/Sp. Def.

But how about some more complicated cases like Throh, Lapras, Gyarados, or Porygon2, or perhaps tanks that aren't
looking to put too much emphasis on EVs in order to have more Atk or Special attack?  Well, we're both probably going to
(prepare yourself) learn things.  So first, the probable reason  anyone's reading this: Walls.

** How to build a wall **

You will need:
	-Bricks
	-Mortar
	-A putty knife
	-A sense of humor

Mix ingredients into a fine paste and spread it into a cookie shape,  bake for 15-45 minutes at 500F,
or until pitch black and smoking. Serves 2-3.

Fine, back to business.
Specialized walls are pretty basic: be as tough as you can either physically or specially, and run like hell when something with
intimidating damage potential on your weak side comes in. A simple spread of maximum HP and Def for a physical wall like Donphan
  will get the job done. What of Sp. Def? Something skewed like Donphan simply isn't going to take Special attacks like Latios'
Draco Meteor at all, so you may as well maximize its impressive 90 HP and 120 Def.
Now, for another simple wall: Blissey. Blissey has an absolutely massive Base 255 HP and 135 Sp. Def: even brtually powerful
Special attacks such as Volcarona's Fire Blast barely singe the blubber. Thus, its just so obnoxiously strong on the Special side
that you might as well dump everything into that laughable 10 Def to take Psyshock better.

Why can't you just take Donphan, who's very solid on the Physical side and do like we did to Blissey and max Sp. Def and HP?
Lets look at Donphan, statistically. It has 90/120/60 defenses.  Even with Careful and maximum Special bulk,  it still gets crushed
by every Draco Meteor,  Surf,  Ice Beam,  and SolarBeam you fling at it, while things like Terrakion can now 2HKO it with
Close Combat.  Instead of excelling at physical walling and completely failing to sponge a Draco Meteor, it just tends
to buckle at every strong attacker you put it in front of.	So why the hell does Blissey max its defense when  its still ripped
in half by Superpower? Because it doesn't even NEED Sp. Def to wall things like Volcarona.  While one could argue
"there's still no point in buffing its Defense", it does let it take some hits like a bulky Donphan's Earthquake, instead of
being forced out.  Ironic example, I know.

Another reason to peg down Specially defensive Donphan is its weak to Water, Ice, and Grass:  common among attackers in
the weather heavy warzone Donphan calls home. Its Electric immunity means a +6 Thundurus is going to hit it like a Lv. 1
Pichu anyway, so it doesn't need Sp. Def  for that.  It does need maximum Defense to take Choice Band Terrakion on,  which
always fun to tank. Nothing gets a giggle like a pretty good Earthquake after Close Combat takes care of Defense for you.

**Simple Walls: Physical and Special**

Another thing to consider when your trying to build a wall is "what does it wall". It sounds like a really stupid question,
but its important to know how well your Forretress can actually handle a Terrakion.  For example, the Specially defensive
Forretress you use to take on Latios may not actually handle a Terrakion's rather painful Life Orb'd Close Combat.

Don't believe? You should, but what good is a claim with no proof? Below are damage calcs, to illustrate.
Forretress 1 is Relaxed, with 252 HP, 252 Def, and 4 Sp. Def, simple physical wall.
Forretress 2 is Sassy, with 252 HP, 4 Def, and 252 Sp. Def, simple special wall.
The attack used is a Jolly Terrakion's Close Combat, with nothing but a Life Orb.

Forretress 1: 40.67 - 48.58%
Forretress 2: 53.1 - 63.27%

Neither of these Forretress are OHKO'd, while Terrakion on the other hand dies horrifically to a Gyro Ball on its -1 Defense.
However: Forretress #1 can switch right in (remember, Terrakion isn't going to come in on you), take the hit, take another
hit, and crush the bull. If you tried that with Forretress #2, it'd get ran over without accomplishing very much: you have to
get it in without being hit, usually meaning a sacrifice. While both can effortlesly take the hit and KO back, the Specially defensive
one absolutely cannot counter it without the death of a teammate or a clever double switch.

That's not to say Forretress #2 can't handle Terrakion: obviously, it can, but has difficulty doing so. Both are also 2HKO'd in
Stealth Rock. You'd never think walling something was this hard, hmm?

**Mixed Walls**

So, simple physical or special walling isn't to complicated, now is it? What about both, called Mixed walls? Those are tricky sons of
bitches that will pull your hair out. While simpler walls like Skarmory are almost brainless to EV, Mixed walls like Cresselia,
Umbreon, and Dusclops can reallly give headaches when properly used by not having some miserably low stat to pick at.
They're also pretty handy against Psyshock, which can wreck some specialized walls like Blissey.

Something with good Mixed defenses is Lapras. 130/80/95 defenses can take quite a beating on both sides, despite is eternal
damnation by virtue of Ice typing granting it nothing but weaknesses. Brutal blows like Specs Latios' Draco Meteor almost
bounce right off, while still not buckling to its Psyshock. Its Ice Typing amazingly enough serves some purpose, allowing it to
defeat Latios with Ice Beam. Only if its EV'd properly, however. 252 HP alone isn't going to take those amazing hits.

How many EVs do you need to survive 2 Specs Psyshocks? How much is needed to take Draco Meteor? Is it best to max HP
and dump in some Defense, or max Defense and add some HP? What Nature, Bold or Calm? Are we playing 20 questions?
In this case, we're simply devoting a Lapras to be able to handle the most absurd attacks Latios wil throw without setting up
Calm Minds. Why bother when Heatran giggles at its mere existence? Not sure but its a good example :3

I've taken the liberty of preparing 3 EV spreads. All use a Cam Nature to get the highest overall defenses because of Lapras'
higher Special Defense. Held Sp. Def at a nice 300, to help show how increasing and decreasing HP/Def affect it overall.

In a nod to an old article of mine, the spreads will have an "Overall damage" rating: how it handles both Physical and Special damage
in the same spread. Simply, its an average of how this Lapras takes a Draco Meteor, and how it handles a Psyshock.
-"Special" is the damage from a Draco Meteor coming from Timid Latios holding Choice Specs.
-"Physical" is the damage from a Psychock coming from the same Latios.
-"Overall": an average of the Physical and Special hits. Min damage from both added together, then divided by 2, same on max.

Spread 1: Calm, 128 HP, 192 Def, 188 Sp. Def. 	|		Defenses: 417/244/300
Spread 2: Calm, 192 HP, 128 Def, 188 Sp. Def. 	|		Defenses: 449/228/300
Spread 3: Calm, 252 HP, 68 Def, 188 Sp. Def.		|		Defenses: 464/213/300

-Spread 1:
Special: 62.35 - 73.44%, Physical: 43.87 - 51.96%, Overall: 53.11 - 62.70%

-Spread 2:
Special: 60.13 - 70.82%, Physical: 45.43 - 53.45, Overall: 52. 78 - 62.13%

-Spread 3:
Special: 58.18 - 68.53%, Physical: 46.76 - 55.17%, Overall: 52.47 - 61. 85%

So what does all that even mean?
It means that Spread 3 is, overall, the best. All 3 had 508 EVs spread between HP, Defense, and Sp. Def, with the same nature, yet
each got different (albeit it, slight) differences. Spread 3 does however have a minor 14.06% chance to 2HKO from Psyshock.
Its also the best one to survive 2 consecutive Draco Meteor: the second hit deals 23.49 - 27.8%, maxing at 96.33% for both hits.
Why is that important? Because Latios outruns you, by a lot. Sure, it can't OHKO you: but you better believe a 2HKO is very
realistic. Does your mind hurt?

137 lines, 10,560+ characters, and a whole lot of math just to say "252 HP/4 Def is usually better than 4 HP/252 Def".