Bird Pone Thread (Complete)

>Be anon
>Pimpest motha fucka on the block
>Six bitches on yo dick, all eating and chatting over a picnic
>Meanwhile, you're awkwardly sitting down, just listening to them all talk
>You don't bother to eat the horrifying daisy sandwich laid before you
>And you don't bother to remind Fluttershit for the 50th fucking time that you don't eat plants
>So you just sit, listen, and take little nibbles of the bread's crust
>When suddenly, a wild Pegasus appears!
>She walks up to you and smiles, eyeing your sandwich
>"Coo coo~ are you gonna eat that?"
>Did... did this pony just coo?
>She steps back a little bit, unnerved by your now curious nature
>Her wings flap lightly, and she tilts her head
>Dear god, she has pigeon colors
>Cute brown eyes
>Striped wings
>Grey body, which is darker neck and upwards
>Simple charcoal colored mane
>There's no way this is even possible
"Um, I'm sorry, but, are you some kind of... birdpony?"
>She smiles
>"I'm a crossbreed! Dad was a griffon, mom was a pony! Got these colors from my father!"
>She lightly flaps her wings a bit and giggles
>Fuck that was cute
>She gives a quick glance at your sandwich
>"S-sooo, were you, uh, were you gonna eat that? Haven't had any food for quite a while..."
>You look back at your sandwich and noticed that all of the mane six are just, staring at you
>Twilight eyes the sandwich and shakes her head slowly
>What a bitch
>You hold the sandwich out to the pony and she snaps at it
>"Fenks!"
"You're welcome, Ms...?"
>"Peeth! Thus call me Peeth!"
>Okay, pretty sure she said Peep.
>Pretty sure
"You're welcome, Peep."
>She nods and tries smiling, then thanks you again
>Then she flies off
>You keep smiling as you watch the pony fly away
>Then turn back to see the six all glaring at you
"Uh, did... did I do something wrong?"

>"Anon," Twilight speaks up first. "Do you know what that was?"
>You sit and think for a moment
"Um... Is this a trick question?"
>"-It was a feathering crossbreed!" Dash just fucking blurts out
>You kind of look around, hoping for some giant signs or some shit to tell you what she means by that
"Well, yeah... So?"
>Everybody gasps like you just ripped Winona in half right in front of them
>"Anon, crossbreeding is the WORST taboo in all of Equestria! They're seriously frowned upon here!"
>You look around again
>Is there something you're missing here?
"Why?"
>More fucking gasps
>Twilight takes a deep breath
>Fuck me, lecture time
>Time to do some eyes-open sleeping
>"Because, Anon, crossbreeding..."
>You idly stare at her mouth moving while your brain finishes some updates
>...Copying some files.
>"Blah blah blah, blah!"
>...Updating, do not turn off your device.
>"FURTHERMORE, BLAH BLAH"
>...Finalizing.
>...
>...
>...
>"And that's why crossbreeding is frowned upon in Equestria! Just THINKING about such a thing is wrong!"
>Wait, wait, hold the fuck up
"Really, so that's why I see you eyeing me whenever I work with my shirt off?
>She goes quiet and blushes
>Damn son, didn't even need to listen to shut her ass up
>But the rest of them are, too
>What the fuck
>You've never even SEEN them over at Carrot Top's farm before
>Jesus Christ, these mares were crazy
>She tries to explain how it's different, but you're too busy ignoring her again
>Soon enough, it's getting dark, and the picnic comes to a close, everyone thinking you actually learned something new today
>But learning is for losers
>You start the walk back to your generously donated, Celestia approved house
>But you notice something wrong with it
>Particularly on the roof
>You walk closer to it and squint, the now dark sky making it difficult to see shit
>Is- is that a fucking nest?
>On your roof?
>Brown eyes peek over and stare at you
>"Oh. Um, hi again."
>She smiles

"Uh, Peep? What are you doing on my roof?"
>She digs at the mixed shit making up your roof, looking down
>"I-I didn't know this was your house, actually."
>You turn around and look at all the other homes around you, then back to Peep
"Okay, and WHY did it have to be on the roof?"
>To be honest, the crap they made roofs out of didn't look very solid at all
>You even notice the small indent she made just lying there
>"Well, I..."
>She straightens herself
>"I know I'm not exactly welcomed here. I only flew here because I haven't finished migrating, and needed a rest. This house was the farthest from all the others."
>You look back at the huge gaping distance between your house and everyone else's
>Wow, you were even more of an outcast than you thought
>"Please, I promise I'll leave first thing in the morning. I'm just asking to stay the night up here."
>You don't notice her slight shivering as you think about it in your warm black suit
>You soulless prick
"Well, I guess one night can't hurt. As long as you don't cave the roof in or anything," I laughed
>She awkwardly laughed back
>Damn, you WERE an outcast
>"Thank you, Mr...?"
"Anonymous. Just call me Anon."
>She smiles
>"Thank you, Anon. I'll be quiet as a mouse up here."
>You return the smile and head into your lovely home, which was still messy and horrible like always
>Ponies still only saw your meat-eating teeth when talking to you
>You sigh and walk into your bedroom and take your suit off
>Then slip into a pajama suit
>You get under the covers and give a relieved smile, suddenly choosing now to think about how much shit Peep will probably leave behind on your house
>Fuck you brain, just sleep
>Shutting down...
>...
>Your eyes jolt open as you hear rustling nearby
>You look around a bit before hearing it a bit louder
>Then you're assaulted by hay and leaves and straw shit in your mouth
>Rusting and crashing everywhere, then you see the night sky sitting above you
>The fucking roof caved in

>Peep just took down your entire fucking roof with her fat ass
>Damn, you had a feeling something like this would happen
>But not exactly this
>A little ways from here, you see Peep's eyes trailing around the place
>Then stop on you
>You do not look fucking happy
>"Eheheh... um, sorry Anon."
"So, quiet as a mouse, huh?" YOU deadpan
>Must be one fat fucking mouse
>She turns from you and rubs the back of her neck
>Goddamn it, how can you stay mad at that?
>You look up again at the sky
>Oh, that's fucking how
>You groan and finally get up from your bed, pushing shit everywhere onto the floor
>You move up to your living room and-
>-Oh god, oh, dear god no
>This can't be happening
>Your TV
>YOUR. FUCKING. TV.
>ALL BROKEN AND FUCKED ON THE FLOOR
>I mean, there hasn't been any power to turn it on since you got here
>BUT YOUR FUCKING TV
>Okay, just calm down Anon
>Just do that shit that Twilight does
>You start taking deep breaths and throwing your hand from your chest
>IT'S NOT HELPING
>"M-maybe I could h-help you fix it?" Peep asks
>You look at your TV, screen shattered and popping out
>Your eye twitches

"Peep, I'm either about to have a shit fit, or start crying my eyes out. If you value your life, I'd suggest you leave. NOW."
>She seems a bit hurt, but flies out of the roof nonetheless
>You didn't care if she was hurt at the moment
>YOU were hurt
>And so was your beautiful 72 inch
>You start kicking around the pieces of roof and flinging it everywhere
"MOTHER. FUCKING. ROOF!"
>You flip and throw some stuff into your mouth, crunching wildly in pure, unrelenting anger
>It tastes like dog shit
>You gag and break down crying
>You lay down and curl beside your beloved 70 inch child
>Peep slowly flies back into the house and looks at you with sad eyes
>"I'm real sorry about all of this, Anon. I'll-"
>Her fat ass bumps into a vase and knocks it over
>Joey, your pet Venus fly trap, is now sitting on the floor, covered in its own soil and dying
"Try losing some weight," you softly cry
>Peep can't hear you, she's too busy trying to scoop up Joey while she apologizes constantly
>"I'm so sorry! I'll make it up to you!"
>She grabs the plant and tries running to your kitchen sink
>But instead, trips on your coffee table and lands on her face
>You think for a second if you should help
>You clutch your TV
>Then you hear her sobbing
>The tides turn almost instantly, and now you feel like a dick for not doing anything
>Sure, Peep here couldn't give you 4K ultra HD
>But dammit, she just fell on her face trying to save your fucking plant
>You get up and walk to her
>She has her face buried in the soil while Joey clings onto her hair
>She turns to you, tears everywhere
>"I'm sorry I ruined your house. I know I'm just, just a clumsy f-fool."
>You forgot to add fat
>Shut the fuck up brain, you dick
>Well, it is kinda true
>Regardless, you kick it into 'comforting friend' mode
"You're not clumsy, Peep. This was all just a horrible coincidence."
>One that costed your 2,000 fucking dollar TV
>She slowly looks at you
>Then, you feel a few drops on your head
>It starts raining

>Wait, it's raining
>IN YOUR FUCKING HOUSE
>You turn to your TV, seeing it being pelted by droplets
>It was like watching someone murder a kitten in front of your damn face
>He's dead, Jim
>Okay, you've got more important things to think about here, Anon
>Like where the hell are you going to go when the rain picks up?
>Then, the rain starts picking up
>Goddamn it
>Peep looks up at you, starting to get soaked
>"I'm so sorry about-"
"It's fine, Peep. I've already forgiven you."
>The fuckers that built your home though
>That's another story
>Same for the damn weather team
>"C-can we get out of this rain? I'm getting cold..."
>Oh, right, warm suit
>You, being the nice guy, take your coat off and give it to her
>But it's still raining
>You fall into an intense thinking session before Peep nudges your arm
>"Why don't we stay in there?"
>She points at the closet
>Well shit
>Before you can think about it some more, the weather team takes a monstrous shit on your face and picks the rain up again
>Next thing you know, you're stuck in a closet with Peep, both soaking wet, cold and tired
>You sit on one end, and her the other
>Peep is taking more space on account of her fat ass
>Fucking seriously
>Like, everything could've been avoided had she just laid off the sandwiches
>You get a quick mental image and clear your mind
>If the circumstances weren't a bit awkward enough, your little friend showing up would just make shit worse
>While you're staring off into the void, you notice the sad look she's giving
>"...I'm, I'm sor-"
"You have to keep on apologizing, you know. I told you, I forgive you."
>She starts crying again
>You stay quiet as to not spill any spaghetti
>"I'm sorry, it's just, y-you're the nicest pony I've ever met, and I just destroyed y-your home..."
>She starts crying and shivering from the cold simultaneously
>You reach your arms out for a nice little hug
>But she practically tackles and starts drenching you in tears and rainwater
>"I'm so so sorry..."

>Personal space, holy shit
>She just keeps repeating how sorry she is while clutching you like a damn leech
>She won't quit crying and telling you she's sorry
>Eventually, you notice her voice start to soften and slow
>And the next thing you know, she's asleep
>Right on top of you
>In a very... intimate-looking position
>Luckily, you get your mind focused on other things
>But you can't sleep because of it
>Meanwhile, she's just snoring up a storm
>And drooling
>All over your suit
>Your very expensive, comfortable suit
>I mean, they're pajamas, but-
>-FUCKING. DICK.
>Your suit is still out there, getting rekt by rain on your floor
>You remember kicking it under your bed, though
>Maybe it's safe?
>You completely forget about the fat ass sitting on you and start fearing for your suit
>You don't want to lose anything else
>...
>You don't know how many hours passed
>But the rain stopped
>All the birds are out chirping
>Except for the one on top of you
>She was still knocked the fuck out
>And drooling
>You do some thinking for a little bit, then decide to see the damage
>You slowly open the closet door
>And the water your rug was keeping at bay outside just flies into the closet
>And soaks into your everything
>But Peep isn't even touched by it
>She's too busy still sitting on you
>You don't even bother to voice how pissed off you are right now
>You're too tired
>So instead, you silently assess the damage of your house
>If you can even call it that
>Everything is knocked over and soaked
>There's straw, hay, and all the other weird shit they made your roof with, just floating around everywhere
>Your TV is lying in a huge puddle of rainwater
>And, well, your roof is still fucking missing
>Peep starts stirring and murmuring on account of the sunlight being thrown into her face
>She smiles, then slowly opens her eyes
>She looks at you
>You didn't have a mirror, but if you felt like shit, you were pretty sure you looked like shit
"Sleep well?" you frowned.

>She slowly nods, still smiling
>Damn it, you'll never be able to be upset at this birdpony
>Ever.
>She looks at you and your soaking wet everything, then turns to see what WAS your nice house
>Her ears fall and her face takes on another sad look
>Then she takes notice of the position she's in and blushes
>"S-sorry, Anon."
>She gets off of you and keeps herself flying above the water
>Wish YOU had some wings
>You stand up and step out of the closet
>Did Equestria even have fucking insurance?
>Where's your goddamn good neighbor when you need them?
>You sigh as you slump back to your room, Peep following close behind.
>Just as you expected, your suit is drenched to hell
>You also now have a water bed
>What the hell were you supposed to do now?
>Everything you have is essentially destroyed
>You're practically homeless
>All because of one pony...
>No
>Don't go blaming her
>Be a nice guy, Anon
>You look at the spot she was in just a few seconds ago
>Instead of seeing a birdpony, you see your 72 inch TV, smashed and sitting in a puddle of water
>Not fucking helping
>You sigh and walk back into your living room
>Peep's nowhere to be found
>Oh, right
>She said she was leaving in the morning
>Of course she'd leave after pulling shit like this
>Fucking migration
>Still to tired to do much, you flip the cushions of your living room couch and hop on it
>Maybe when you wake up, you'll be transported to Earth
>Heh
>Yeah fucking right

>A sweet smell wakes you up
>Did... did you actually get transported back to Earth somehow?
>Maybe these 2 years in Equestria was some long ass coma dream
>And now you get to buy and play the dicks out of Fallout 4
>You open your eyes
>Water everywhere
>Goddammit
>You look to your left and see Peep
>She's smiling and holding a pie
>She drops it beside you on the couch and looks at you
>"I got us some breakfast!"
>You look up and see that it's still really damn early
>Probably only an hour after you laid down
"Uh, Peep? When did you make this?"
>"Oh, I didn't! Some nice folks left it on their windowsill!"
"...The windowsill?"
>"Yeah!"
>Judging by her response, she obviously didn't know she just stole something
>But who were you to tell her that?
>It's free fucking pie, man
>You sit up and see that it's already cut and ready to go
>And it smelled like Sweet Apple Acres property
>...Who fucking cares?
>They'll never think it was you
>You start shoveling that shit into your mouth like a dirty Jew
>Peep does the same
>Then a thought flashes by
"Wait. Peep, why are you still here? I thought you had to continue migrating?"
>She takes one last, tiny bite and looks at you
>"I, I can't just, leave after causing all of this, Anon. I have to make it up to you."
>Wow, and for a while you thought she was just going to nigger out of helping you out
>But here she was, letting you help yourself to a pie you stole
>You bet the Helements of Armory wouldn't steal a fucking pie for you
>Those dicks were wrong
>Who gave a shit if Peep was a crossbreed?
>If anything, the whole pigeon thing is badass
>Even if she only made the sounds once
>Maybe it was some kind of cultural thing
>You didn't even know that crossbreeds were a thing yesterday
>You watch Peep switching between munching and literally pecking at the pie
>It's cute and funny as hell at the same time
>Then out of nowhere, you see your front door fall onto the ground through your peripherals
>It's fucking Twilight

>You and Peep stop
>Twilight doesn't know what to look at first
>Her eyes are darting everywhere
>Eventually they stop on Peep
>She turns to me
>"Did you hear NOTHING from my lecture yesterday?!"
"Good morning to you too, Twilight."
>"Good morning?! Do you not SEE what your house looks like?!"
>You look at the ceiling and make the most exaggerated gasp you can
"Oh my GOD! It was fine just a minute ago!"
>"Don't play dumb with me, Anon! I told you that crossbreeds were trouble, and if destroying your HOUSE hasn't shown you that, then I don't know what will!!"
>Wow, of course she immediately blames Peep
>I mean, it kinda WAS her fault anyways, but goddamn, she wasn't there
"Hey, Peep has done nothing wrong here! She even got me a pie!" you point at it
>"Yeah, I KNOW. I was there when she stole it!"
>Oh.
>Well, shit.
>"Crossbreeds just AREN'T welcome here, Anon! They never will be!"
>Peep turns away from Twilight
>In doing so, you see some tears forming in her eyes
>You glare at the purple menace and instinctively reach for Peep
>She pushes your hand with a wing and sniffles
>"N-no, she's right, Anon. I don't know what I was thinking coming here. I've... I've done enough here..."
>She flies off, crying
>You turn to Twilight, wishing you could just blast her with your damn laser eyes already
>"I don't know what you were thinking befriending a crossbreed like that, but you'll find out soon enough that it was for the best..."
"Princess of motherfucking friendship, huh, Twilight?"
>She's taken back a bit
>"You seriously would still call a feathering crossbreed a friend?! After everything I told you?!"
>You start walking towards the door
>Twilight thinks you're gonna bash her face in and steps back out
>You walk past her
>"Wait! Please tell me you're not going after it!"
>It
>What a bitch
>You look at her and glare
"She stole a pie for me. That's what true friendship is about."
>You walk
>...Probably should've thought about your dramatic one liner a bit more

>You made a dramatic exit
>But you had no fucking clue where you were going
>You had a general idea, but that was about it
>Twilight didn't know what the hell she was talking about
>And she was supposed to be fucking smart
>You sigh and walk into the only place you'd think she'd be
>That one hill where you had the damn picnic
>Or, the area around it
>Shut the hell up
>You were walking there
>On account of it being morning, there's a few more ponies there than usual
>All old losers, of course
>All the younger ponies had jobs and fulfilling lives
>Okay, that's fucked up, Anon
>You mentally apologize and look mostly at the trees
>You don't see a single sign of her
>Maybe she ditched and just migrated?
>No, she said she was staying
>Then some nearby crying stops you
>"-Just... worthless..."
>You look around
>A nearby tree is slightly shaking
>"It's all I'll ever be..."
>You walk a bit closer
>She doesn't notice you
"...Peep?"
>She stops and turns to you
>She stays quiet
"Can you come down?"
>She looks around for a moment
>She slowly flies over to her
>And you CRUSH THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF HER
>With a hug, of course
>She cries into your shoulder
>"W-why is everypony so mean to me, Anon? What did I do wrong?"
>Your heart snaps in half and shrivels up
>You kick 'comforting friend' mode into hyper drive and brush her hair while you hold tighter
"You haven't done anything wrong. Ponies are just fat, judgmental dicks."
>Wow, you really should've made that more... emotional sounding
>But she got the message
>"I don't ac..." she mumbles
"What was that?"
>"I... I don't actually migrate..."
>You were meaning to ask about that
>As far as you knew, pigeons didn't migrate
>"I've been driven out of every town I've been to for my entire life."
>She manages a small smile
>"You were the first pony that was truly nice to me... even if it just meant giving away your sandwich."
>Holy shit
>A sandwich just changed someone's life
>That's the first

>"Why though? Why are you so nice to me? Even after all that I did?"
>You thought about it for a moment
"Well... I guess it's because I know how you feel."
>It was no wonder you couldn't get mad at her
>It wasn't just because she was cute
>She was an outcast here, just like you
>Maybe not with the added weird sense, but she was just like you
"Even now, ponies still make comments and go out of their own ways just to make my life a living hell. They just never try anything because they know I could easily crush and destroy them if I wanted to."
>You feel Peep tense up
>Nice job, Anon
"I'd never hurt you though."
>She relaxes
>Fuckin saved yourself
>She looks up at you, tears still present
>"T-thank you, Anon. You don't even know how much that means to me."
>She hugs you and softly sighs
>Out of the corner of your eye, you see Twilight getting closer
>You glare the fuck out of her, and she pauses
>She stands for a moment, then shakes her head and walks away
>That's right bitch, walk away
>You two stayed hugging each other
>It felt a bit like some kind of ending to some shitty movie
>Or a horribly written story
>And then you realize
>Your house is still fucked up
>You still have a pie on your couch
>This wasn't some shitty fanfiction
>You had shit to fix
"So. Want to go finish that pie?"
>Peep giggles
>"Sure."
>...
>Back in your horribly destroyed house, you see that Twilight actually helped out
>There's no more water
>Your furniture is back in its place
>Roof's still missing, and shit was still destroyed, but at least she helped
>And she left...
>Wow.
>She ate the rest of the fucking pie
>Fucking Twiggy Piggy

>Peep flies over to the couch, as sad about the pie as you are
>You walk into your room
>Your suit is clean and tidy, just lying on your bed
>Aw yiss
>You change into that shit faster than...
>Fuck it, you change quickly
>And now you feel complete
>Still hungry
>And tired as all hell
>But complete
>You walk back into your living room
>Peep is sitting on your wall with some other pigeons
>She's cooing and bobbing her head like she did when you first met her
>She sees you and blushes a bit
>The birds fly away and she comes down
>Why did she blush and say sorry for everything?
>She was worse than Fluttershy
>Just a lot cuter
>And less annoying
>Then a thought hit you
>Maybe Fluttershit could actually help you out somehow
>Not by moving your furniture and eating your fucking pie
>But maybe she could show some kind of sympathy to Peep?
>Give her shelter and food and stuff
>Maybe she didn't share the same feelings about crossbreeds like the rest of those dicks
>She loved all kinda of animals
>...Right?
>Well, it's worth a shot
>You know you have to do something besides lounging around and waiting for Jesus to help you out
>That bastard
>Probably sent you here anyways
"Peep. Care to take a little walk?"
>You explain your horrible and desperate reasoning to her
>She doesn't believe for one fucking second that anyone would be that nice to her
>You use yourself as a prime example that there can be some good
>But really, what did you know?
>You were an alien creature from a hell where people killed and fucked things for fun
>But you hoped you were right
>It seemed Peep was going to follow you regardless of where
>She really trusted the shit out of you
>You both leave the house and head out towards Nutter Butter's home
>Luckily, she hated any kind of contact not involving animals, so she was nowhere near the town
>You both take the scenic route

>The scenic route was very... scenic
>It cut through the forest used for the running of the leaves
>White Oak forest or some shit
>Who cares
>At this point, you've been awake for about 19 hours
>Minus that nap
>It really didn't faze you, though
>You've done marathons longer than that
>And not the running kind
>The snacks, Netflix, PC and Mountain Dew kind
>The much better kind
>"It's so nice outside, isn't it? Out in the trees and the sky? It's so... wonderful."
>You were replaying all those awesome matches of Killing Floor 2 in your head when she spoke
"Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah. Super nice."
>She doesn't acknowledge how retarded you sounded when you answered
>She just smiles
>"Thinking about something?"
>You think of what to say you were thinking about
>Then you think a thinking thing
>While thinking
>Think
"Just about home."
>"What about it?"
"Just all the entertaining ways I'd waste time."
>She stays silent, waiting for you to continue
>You really did waste a lot of time on Earth, didn't you?
>But now you're forced to go outside and have a life
>In a sense, it's been kind of good for you
>Maybe enough to thank whoever or whatever did this to you
>...Nah
>Fuck them
>You missed Fallout 4's launch
>You'll take that damn hatred to your grave
>You could've wasted so many wonderful days on that game
>You then realize that Peep was still thinking you were going to continue talking
>She's giving you an awkward look
"That's, kind of it."
>She looks disappointed
>"So, you don't think about the rest of your home?"
>You shrug
"I never really did much back home. Nothing really worthwhile to remember. What about you?"
>Oh shit, that was a stupid fucking question
>Her eyes fall to the floor
>You can't tell if she's about to cry or speak, but you see Fluttershit's cottage ahead
"-HEY, would you look at that? That's Fluttershy's house!
>She perks up a bit
>You walk up to the door and knock on it
>It lightly creaks open
>"H-hello, Anonymous. Birdpony."
>So far so good

>You and Peep are now sitting on Fluttershit's couch while she made tea
>At this point, you were almost positive she was going to be a bitch,
>But being the Element of Kindness, you had some doubt
>You just hoped Peep was right
>"I, I think she seems nice." Peep says
>She damn well better be
>Or else... you'd do something
>Fuck, what COULD you do?
>You spy Angel just staring at you both like a little bitch
>The few times you've seen that fucker you've just wanted to punt him into the fifth dimension
>A brilliantly horrible thought came to mind
>But only if Butter Fry said no
>Then right on cue, she comes back with a tray of tea
>I guess the fact that she hasn't thrown the goddamn tea at us already is a really good sign
>Maybe you were just over-reacting
>Maybe
>She sits in a nearby chair and takes a few sips from her tea, staring at us
>"So, what brings you two here?"
>Her eyes are now just glued to Peep
"Well, recently the roof of my house collapsed under... peculiar circumstances."
>Peep's fat ass peculiar, to be exact
"Twilight hasn't exactly been... helpful, with me on this."
>She takes another sip
>She has a stone cold face that you can't read for shit
>She just nods
"I was just, kind of hoping... you'd give Peep a home meanwhile?"
>You wince on the inside
>Oh fucking boy, here it comes
>Peep starts preparing for disappointment as well at this point
>Fluttershy simply takes another sip, then places the cup down on a nearby table
>She was pretty damn rough about it, too
>She takes a deep breath
>"...OF COURSE!!"
>Wait what
>What the fuck
>I'm confused
>So is Peep
>"I've ALWAYS been dying to meet a crossbreed! I was so jealous seeing you talking to her but I didn't say anything because everypony was being so mean so I didn't want to get yelled at or anything but I've wanted to know so many things about them but just never got the chance to ever talk to one-"
>She flies up to Peep with a huge ass smile
>"Oh, I just want to know EVERYTHING about you!"

>It was night again
>You came around 9 to Fluttershy's house
>She's demanded that she hears EVERYTHING about Peep and her life
>She couldn't of even saved it for later
>It had to be that very moment
>It's been about 30 hours minus the map
>You knew for a fact you were now officially getting brain damage as they spoke
>You didn't want to walk out and make it seem like you didn't want to be there
>But you didn't want to be there
>You tried to sleep on that couch
>But sleeping would've had the same effect
>And Fluttershy's constant excited noises kept jolting you awake
>You felt that you should've paid more attention to Peep's story, but it was all stuff you heard before
>Just elongated and really detailed
>She really did have it rough before she saw you
>You even caught the part of her saying that she flew to you because she didn't know what you were
>She had a small glimmer of hope that you wouldn't be a dick and try chasing her out of town
>And seemed pretty confident that you were somewhat civilized, because of your 'amazingly nice suit'
>And she was right
>Your suit was fucking 'amazingly nice'
>But going into all the detail she did
>It was sad to hear
>Well, it WOULD'VE been, had you had enough fucking sleep to understand what was going on
>But you at least noticed the abundance of sad words she used
>It was no wonder she warmed up to a nice, but complete alien stranger in less than a day
>She was treated just like one
>Just without the 'nice' part
>She then went on to talk about her parents
>The griffon and pony
>You weren't that sleepy when she talked about it
>So you heard about the griffon just, well, forcefully taking his mom and leaving
>The saddest part, it seemed, was when the town Peep was in tried throwing her out
>It was a whole tragic movie scene going on
>Her mom fought back
>Peep escaped
>And she just flew from town to town until she could find someplace to stay
>She still didn't even know if her mom was alive or not
>That was 9 years ago

>Fluttershy finally wraps everything up
>Peep gets settled and comfy on the couch for now
>And you're finally able to get the hell out of there
>You don't even bother going the scenic route
>You cut through the town
>The ponies were probably all asleep anyways
>Probably
>You were too tired to really give a shit
>You walk through the streets and find out you were right
>Everyone was asleep
>You manage not to get stabbed or shanked by the town's populace
>After what seems like a damn hour, you finally start recognizing the area around your house
>You come up the street and-
>OH MY GOD
>Your house is still there
>The darkness and lack of any light made it hard to see that
>But your house was definitely there
>And here you thought that the town's populace was going to tear it down
>But for all you knew, they were all creating the cloaks for the next KKK meeting in town
>But you didn't know much
>At least, not now
>The only thing you knew was that you needed your goddamn sleep
>And every minute you spent awake was just another minute closer to passing out on the front porch
>You crawl through your house, ignoring the door that Twilight still needed to fucking fix
>And the damn pie she destroyed
>And the shriveled up stem of what once was your buddy Joey
>And the vase he was in, which Peep knocked over with her fat ass
>And the TV that was utterly violated by rain and building materials
>You essentially had everything that mattered, destroyed
>But you were too damn tired to think about that
>You head into your room and get into a damn nice comfortable position and ready for the best sleep of your life
>...
>You wake up gasping with the horrible feeling of being drowned
>3 AM rain
>Goddamn it
>You grab your pillow, blanket and your lovely pajamas and head back to the closet
>You get comfortable and sigh, watching your house being raped by water
>Again
>You close the door
>You immediately feel like something is missing somewhere
>But you don't know exactly what

>You wake up feeling cold
>Colder than you did the last time you slept in the closet, at least
>You're not sure what time it is, but you feel pretty well rested
>You open the door, glad to see that a lot of the water went and evaporated
>But fucked your floor up in the process
>You grab your pillow and blanket, and your-
>Wait, you didn't-
>Oh FUCK NO
>You run to your room and stare at the bed in horror
>Your fucking suit shrank and shriveled to hell
>You didn't even know what the fuck your suit was made out of, but all that damn time in the sun just fucking fucked it
>Fucking FUCK
>You drop the pillow and blanket and slowly walk up to your last prized possession
>That was it.
>That was the last of your pride and joy
>And you left it out in the rain and sun to get gangbanged by the late-night weather team
>Just great
>You sit on your soaking bed while that thought just slowly sinks in
>Pretty much everything of meaning you had is all gone
>All the stuff you worked damn hard for
>Especially Joey
>That bitch took forever to grow
>And now he was dead
>Your TV took two years of saving up
>It was destroyed times ten
>Your suit had been a college graduation gift from your parents
>And now it was small enough to sell at Babies 'R Us
>Not to mention your house
>It was donated, but your damn pride and joy no less
>Now, all you had was your stupidly comfortable suit pajamas, and whatever was left in your house
>You now had everything good in your life taken away from you
>Just like it was on Earth
>Everything...
>You tossed your kid sized suit to the ground and laid down on your horribly wet bed
>You stared at the sky
>You were pretty sure it was around 5 in the afternoon
>Maybe tomorrow something good would happen
>Heh
>Yeah fucking right
>...
>FUCKING DICKS WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?
>You jump the fuck out of your bed and fall off
>It was dark and raining like shit again
>3 AM
>But you woke up to some shit that sounded like a fucking bomb
>Then you see it
>Fire

>Your ears are fucking ringing
>You can't hear shit
>You think your damn house was just struck by lightning
>The fucking weather team fucked you again
>It stuck and just obliterated your TV
>As if it wasn't fucking destroyed enough
>Now there were goddamn small pieces of it everywhere
>The rain itself doesn't help at all
>The fire just gets bigger and engulfs your couch
>It's no use
>With nothing to really take, you just bail and get the fuck out of your home
>It doesn't take long until your entire house is being made well done
>And you can only watch
>The ringing in your ear begins to fade
>You lied earlier
>You didn't lose everything before
>NOW you did
>You faintly hear the sound of hooves behind you
>Ponies woken up by the noise, no doubt
>You don't care who or what it was
>You fell onto the ground and started crying
>You were a manly man
>But the rain made your tears invisible
>So it was alright
>Not like the ponies would do anything about it
>They all silently hated you anyways
>Now what was there to do?
>Where would you go from here?
>You didn't have the faintest clue
>But not even Earth was this cruel to you
>And it was all because of one pigeon pony
>No
>Be nice Anon
>Be fucking nice

>You didn't know how long you were sitting out there
>But you know it's been a few hours
>You kinda just watched your home getting cooked
>And now it seemed it was over
>Where were you supposed to live now?
>Maybe Fluttershy would let you stay in her house like Peep did
>You think about it for a moment
>Then start on the scenic route to her home
>None of the ponies were out anymore
>Nobody even tried to help you out
>Those fuckers
>They were glad you didn't eat pony
>You sigh and start the walk
>...
>Now the cottage was just up ahead
>You walk up to it and knock on the door
>Fluttershy answers and gasps
>"Oh my, you look awful! What happened?"
"Oh, my house just got struck by lightning and burned down. Where's Peep?"
>"She just left a few minutes ago to go look for you. She said she couldn't find you yesterday..."
>Yesterday?
>Oh, right, you were in the closet sleeping all day long
>Both of you start hearing someone crying
>It's getting louder pretty quickly
>Then you see Peep flying towards the cottage, crying like crazy
>She pushes past Fluttershy and enters the house
>"F-fluttershy, th-they b-burned down his house! H-he was probably still in t-there! THEY K-KILLED A-ANON! THEY KILLED HIM!"
>What
>Did, did she seriously not see you just now?
>"I didn't even g-get to tell him how I f-feel..."
>You know you shouldn't be, but you're so amused right now
>"H-he was my on-only friend..."
>Fluttershy walks into the cottage while you wait by the doorway
"I bet he was a pretty cool guy," you smile
>Peep looks up
>She brightens up immediately
>Then tackles you
>But you were in the doorway
>So you get thrown really far back
>She breaks Fluttershy's mailbox with her ass
>Jesus Christ
>"H-hi, Anon..."
>You stare at the mailbox in horror
"Uh, h-hey, Peep. H-how's Fluttershy been treating you?"
>"Good!"
>T-that mailbox
>It, it was made of some kind of METAL
>S-she
>Her a-ass
>Fluttershy's staring at her mailbox
>Peep's oblivious to what she just did
>You're scared

>Turns out your home was attacked by someone
>3 AM showers were just that
>There was no lightning in them
>Someone on the weather team hit your house
>Maybe the ponies in this town WERE conspiring against you
>It seemed a lot more likely now
>But, there was also just the chance that someone was stupid and accidentally hit your house
>But at this point it was a bit hard to believe
>So as of now, you were currently a resident in Fluttershy's house
>But because of your size, you didn't exactly have a place to stay
>So the floor was your bed
>You would be lying if you said you didn't feel somewhat paranoid around the town
>You hadn't seen Twilight since she ate your pie and left
>And well, your house just fucking burned down
>So you figured it was probably just in your best interest to stay put
>And hopefully something good would happen, or the situation would fix itself
>Then you heard knocking on the door
>Fluttershy and Peep were out in the backyard, doing whatever the hell they were doing
>So you were the only one in the house right now
>Your paranoia kicks in, and you suspect there's probably some damn ponies with pitchforks and torches behind that door
>You stand up and slowly walk to it
>You try to find someplace to peek through, but find nothing
>Maybe you should go get Fluttershy and Peep
>But what if it WAS an angry mob?
>They couldn't defend themselves
>Damn
>You take a deep breath and open the door
>A blue pony turns to you and smiles
>"So you're the one housing the crossbreeds, right?"
>You open your mouth, but she cuts you off with an extended wing
>"Name's Blue. I'm a Blue Jay- you call me Bluey, I'll kill you, sound good?"
"Wha-"
>"Thanks man, means a lot!"
>She gives you a quick hug and invites herself in
>Wow, she actually had the colors of a Blue Jay
>Her hair was blue, slicked back and pointy
>It had some dark grey and white patterns in it
>Just like a Blue Jay
>Her tail was the same
>Her head snaps back to you
>"Quit checking me out.”

>Alright
>Well, now there's a Blue Jay pony in Fluttershy's cottage
>She's just looking around, mumbling to herself every so often
>"So, what? You some kinda alien animal lover or somethin'? Never seen no crossbreed lookin' like you before."
>She sounded like she had just come out of some big city or something
>You couldn't quite place it
>"So what, you just gonna keep starin at me? That what you do for fun around here?"
>You shook your head and went into the back with Fluttershy and Peep
>You see them feeding some smaller birds
"Uh, Fluttershy?"
>She turns and smiles at you
>So does Peep
"We, uh, we've got a visitor."
>Right on cue, Blue walks outside
>"Why'd you run? Scared of me or something?"
>Peep and Blue look at each other
>Peep seems a bit uneasy
>"H-hello!"
>Blue walks over to her and wraps a wing around her
>"Hey, how's it goin'? What cross are you- oh- pigeon! Of course of course! Nice to meet you- you shacking up with this alien guy too?"
>"Y-yeah."
>"Cool, cool. There stuff to eat around here? I'm crazy hungry."
>Fluttershy slowly shuffles to you, watching the two
>"Anon, that pony looks like a Blue Jay."
"I know. It's crazy. And here I tho-"
>"-Anon, Blue Jays are usually very aggressive towards other birds."
"...What?"
>"They're very territorial birds. If that pony is anything like a normal Blue Jay, then-"
>"-Hey, where's all the food at, alien guy? You gonna deliver or what?"
>It looks like Peep is shaking beside her
>Fluttershy looks at you again before walking towards Blue and showing her to some seeds
>"Eh, I'm not much into seeds anymore. Got any meat here?"
>You, Peep and Fluttershy kind of just stare at each other
"You eat meat?"
>Blue furrows a brow
>"'Course I do! Couldn't go a day without it!"
>You can't help but smile
>This is great
>"Well, I haven't had any time to grab some from town...-"
>"Then what are we waiting around for? Let's grab some!"
>You couldn't agree more
>Maybe Blue wasn't so bad

>Before anyone could really say much, you, Blue, Peep and Fluttershy were out, heading into town
>DIRECTLY into town
>Where loads of other ponies were
>You were damn scared of what would happen
>But you were more interested in the place that sold meat here
>The place that Fluttershy never even bothered to tell you about
>For like, two years
>Bitch
>Meanwhile, Blue was strutting into town like she owned the damn place
>You, Peep and Flutters just stayed behind
>You weren't scared for yourself, but more for these two
>If you were talked into shit by Twilight, you could just imagine how everyone saw Fluttershy right now, hanging out with an alien and two crossbreeds
>"Get out of here, you ugly crossbreeds!"
>Blue stops and spreads her wings towards the pony
>"Wanna say that to my fucking face!?"
>...Holy shit
>She just cursed
>You've never heard anybody curse here but you
>Not even your house being fucked over left you as shocked as you are now
>The pony even winces
>Fucking Christ, Blue is BAD. ASS.
>The town had just been full of ponies whispering and staring at your group
>Now none of the ponies dared to say anything
>You felt a lot better walking through the town than you did earlier
>And soon, you reach the meat place
>Of course, a griffon is the owner
>You see that it's not really a place to buy meat, and instead a place INCLUDING meat
>It's some kind of exotic goods shop
>It sells tropical fruit, cheap tourist items, relics-
>OH MY GOD BACON HOLY SHIT YES
>Fucking wait
>You have no money
>FUCK
>But Blue surprisingly has some bits
>And a fucking lot of them, all in this bag you never noticed was tucked under her wing
>It was kind of like a backpack or something that kept them all nice and out of sight
>Smart.
>It seems she had her eyes set on the same thing
>She also sees you eyeing it
>She buys the shit out of it
>More than enough for the both of you
>And she didn't even flinch at the price of it all
>Fucking dicks you love this birdpony



>It'a like fucking Christmas
>Glorious, meat-filled Christmas
>Of course, Peep and Fluttershy can only watch in horror as you and Blue completely destroy pounds of bacon
>Having been meat-free for almost 2 years, having it again was the greatest fucking thing
>It was like sex in your mouth
>And obviously Blue felt the same
>"I haven't had bacon in so long. Too long."
"I hear ya!" you laugh
>You're so damn happy right now
>It's like trudging through the desert and finally finding an oasis, complete with a full bar and lonely girls in bikinis
>It's just that good
>Meanwhile, Peep and Fluttershy settled for some bland and very unfulfilling roasted oats
>You almost feel sorry for them, not being able to partake in the wonders of meat
>But hell, it meant more for you and Blue
>Soon enough, it even turned into a bacon-eating competition
>You, of course, won with flying colors
>"Man, you really know how to eat!"
>You smile and nod
"It's true, it's true. May be an omnivore, but hell if meat isn't the greatest thing ever."
>"I hear that!"
>You both laugh
>Soon enough, Fluttershy and Peep excuse themselves from the table
>Peep looked like she was a bit hurt the whole time, but you couldn't really understand why
>She suddenly seemed very sad
>You didn't have the faintest clue as to why
>But Blue here was now an awesome-ass friend in your book
"So where'd you come from, Blue?"
>"Manehattan! Got wind of some rumor saying that crossbreeds were welcomed by some monkey-looking thing in a town called Ponyville."
>Wow, so word of you and Peep definitely DID get spread
>And fast
>"How 'bout you? What's your story?"
"Oh, I came from another planet."
>"No shit?"
>You smiled
>It was like talking to one of your old friends again
"Yup! Nice little place called Earth. I lived in a place called Denver."
>"How the hay did you get here?"
"Long story."
>She takes another strip of bacon and props her back hooves up on the table
>"I got time."

>You went on to explain how you came to Equestria, and the whole 2 years in it
>Blue was listening intently the whole time
>So far, there seemed to be absolutely nothing wrong with this pony
>At all
>She didn't destroy your roof, vase or TV
>Instead, she fucking told some pony off like a badass and bought you fucking bacon
>It seemed like things were finally starting to look up now
>"That, is crazy. You need to write books or make a movie of your life. Ponies would eat it up."
"Probably. So what about you? What's your story?"
>"Eh, it ain't nothing special-"
"Aw come on. You're literally like the damn coolest pony I've met."
>She grins
>"Well, if you REALLY want to hear it," she pretended to sigh
>She went on about her life in the city
>It wasn't tragic at all
>It was action-packed and awesome
>If there wasn't so damn much to tell
>You could've written a damn book on just her city life
>Gangs, stealing, fights
>This pony acted tough
>And fucking WAS tough
>The stories she talked about were fucking intense
>Jewelry store robberies, high speed flight chases, broken neighborhoods
>Her life was like a goddamn Michael Bay movie
>Just not shit
>While she talked, you couldn't help but take every single word
>She talked with her hooves and built so much damn suspense during it
>Because of how shit you were at details, you couldn't even begin to describe how fucking amazing she made everything sound
>That was it though
>Blue was now officially your favorite fucking birdpony
>Hands. Motherfucking. Down.
>You just sat and listened to her talk while the bacon on the table was slowly finished
>"-And that's when I showed up to this place."
"Damn. That's like- I'm, I'm just fucking speechless right now."
>Blue laughs
>"Oh please, it wasn't THAT interesting."
"No, no. That, was just fucking crazy. Especially that whole cart stealing thing when you were a filly? Fucking awesome."
>She softly laughs again and smiles
>"Glad you think so."

>It was pretty damn late when you and Blue stopped talking
>Time flew by a lot quicker than you liked
>And the bacon was now all gone
>Talking to Blue really was like being back home
>She didn't care if you cussed, and she did, herself
>Meat was involved, definitely a huge plus
>The last time you had meat was...
>Well, too goddamn long, honestly
>You bid Blue a goodnight, but realized that she'd probably be taking the floor with you as well
>Fluttershy mentioned earlier about working on some kind of rooms for me, Peep, and now Blue
>You just hoped you had a damn nice bed to lie on
>Kind of like the one in your old house...
>Well, there was no use looking back on it now
>What's done is done
>Now you need some damn sleep
>...
>You jolt awake
>You hear rain clattering on the nearby windows
>From the look of it, the rain just started picking up
>It was like your body knew about the rain or something
>Some kind of double check
>You turn your head from the window and stare at the ceiling
>You see Blue sleeping a few feet away
>She isn't snoring, but she has her mouth open
>It's cute and funny at the same time
>You turn the other way and-
>Wait, where's Peep?
>She's no longer there on the couch
>You pick your head up and scan the room
>No sign of Peep
>You stand up and quietly crouch around the room
>She's nowhere to be found
>Then you hear something that isn't rain
>Sounds like something muffled
>You walk closer to the stairs and stop
>You start to hear some faint crying
>You hear it coming from the backyard area
>You can't understand anything over the rain
>You slowly and quietly open the door
>Peep is sitting on a bench, crying and mumbling to herself
>"W-why would he ever l-like me anyways? I'm nothing b-but a pathetic l-loser anyways..."
>Who was she talking about?
>"Blue's obviously a much better pony than me... Anon deserves the best, anyways... If only I wasn't so far from it..."
>She starts crying again
>Oh, shit.
>She was talking about YOU.

>"I just wish I could get some k-kind of break... I j-just want to finally be happy... W-why can't I be happy? Why d-do ponies have to hate me so much?"
>You didn't know what to do at the moment
>You didn't know if you saying something would make things worse or better
>Peep liked you, that was now obvious, but you didn't think that-
>"I-I love you, Anon. More than anything."
>Nope, she just fucking said it
>Okay, now there was a bit of a predicament here
>You weren't sure if you even felt the same or not
>I mean, you can identify the feelings, obviously,
>But the whole species thing
>That kind of made things difficult
>You weren't sure if you would be able to love another species like that
>At least well, for that matter
>And if the ponies in the town silently disliked you and crossbreeds already,
>What the hell would they do with an alien-crossbreed relationship?
>And what if Blue liked you?
>I mean, you didn't think she did
>But if she did
>And Peep did
>...It'd be damn scary
>What would you do?
>Were you even CAPABLE of having a relationship?
>Would it even go into that?
>"Maybe I really am just worthless..."
>Fuck
>It crushed you hearing this out of Peep
>Not doing anything would probably make things worse
>And doing something had the same damn possibility
>Okay, calm down, Anon
>...What do YOU want?
>...Well,
>You want everyone to be happy
>But you don't want to sacrifice your own happiness in any way
>So how do you do that?
>"I bet nopony would even care if I just, flew away right now..."
>Oh shit
>Make a fucking choice here, Anon
>Come on, Telltale Games prepared you for shit like this!
>Just imagine a Walking Dead situation
>Go one way, or another?
>What consequences would each-
>Peep slowly spreads her wings-
>WHY CAN'T YOU PAUSE THIS SHIT TO THINK GODDAMN IT?!
>She sighs
>Fuckmefuckmefuckme
>"Goodbye, Anon..."
>FUCK

>*You chose to stop Peep.*
"Wait!"
>Peep yelps and shrinks back into her spot
>"A-a-anon? W-what are you doing here?"
>*You chose not to answer.*
>You sit beside her on the bench and just hug her
>She's tensed up and silent for a moment
>Then she lets out a whimper and starts crying again
>"H-how much did you h-hear?"
"Enough..."
>You gently rub her back while she just continues crying
>You had to do some thinking meanwhile
>Okay, she said she loved you
>Again, did you feel the same?
>You, well, you thought she was cute
>A bit clumsy, definitely
>Pretty soft spoken
>Crazy nice
>Maybe you did have SOME feeli-
>But she destroyed your home
>Broke your TV
>Killed your plant
>Essentially took everything away from you
>But it was an accident
>But it still happened
>But she didn't mean to
>She tried saving Joey, remember?
>She stole a pie for you
>She trusts the fuck out of you
>But...
>Did that mean you love her?
>She stops crying, but holds you tighter
>Only the rain is making noise at this point
>Why did shit have to be so dramatic here?
>Peep looks up at you with her huge brown eyes
>Shit, here it comes
>"A-anon?"
>Fuck
"Yeah?"
>"D-do you... do you love me?"
>Fuck, there's the little bar at the bottom of the screen
>
(A) OF COURSE, LET'S FUCK
(B) I'm sorry...
(X) ...
(Y) [Kiss her]
>Your mind couldn't stop focusing on one fucking thing:
>Did you love her?
>That one sentence wouldn't stop buzzing by your mind
>Did you?
>Didn't you?
>COULD you?
>Fuck it, who were you kidding?
>(Y)

>You honestly never kissed anyone besides your family before this
>It wasn't that you were a loser or anything
>But you kinda were
>You were hit on plenty of times in high school, but worrying more about grades than girls definitely paid off
>But then you became a rich shut-in
>You only came out of your house for work and the occasional grocery run
>Contact with females was minimal, at best
>But here you were
>Kissing a birdpony that loved the absolute shit out of you
>And you had to admit...
>You loved that she loved you
>So you guess you loved her
>You were a bit worried, almost skeptical about the idea just a few seconds ago
>But now, you honestly didn't give a shit
>This birdpony was now yours
>And probably would be forever
>Unless you got fucking murdered by the town's populace, obviously
>But you wouldn't worry about that now
>...Actually, you SHOULD fucking worry about that
>If crossbreeding was already frowned upon, how bad would BEING with one be?
>As long as nobody knew, it was fine
>Like some Romeo and Juliet type shit
>Just, you know, with a lot less dying, hopefully
>You finally pull away and see Peep's face
>It was hard to tell that she was actually grey a few seconds ago
>She moved her mouth to speak, but couldn't speak
>She was looking at you, but her gaze was elsewhere
>You were sure that you looked the same, though
>There were no damn butterflies in your stomach
>It was more like five fucking hives of wasps
>Friendly wasps, though
>You both were just speechless
>It was like expecting a jumpscare, but still freaking the fuck out when it happened
>Then, a small smile started forming on Peep's face
>You returned it
>Then Peep hugged you, tears starting to form again
>But they were no longer tears of sadness
>It was pure joy
>You noticed yourself feeling the same way
>You teared up
>You definitely made the right choice here
>Nothing would change that
>...Well...
>Unless you died.
>STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT

>Everything was perfect
>Well, relatively perfect
>There was still plenty of messed up shit everywhere
>But it was significantly better, at least
>Only the rain was making noise at this point
>You both had stopped crying and settled for just hugging on the bench
>It was like a shitty movie moment
>A kind of movie you'd never even watch
>But you had to admit, seeing sappy shit and experiencing it were two completely different things
>And you were hella glad you've now gotten to experience it
>Did you actually miss all of this back on Earth?
>Well then again, those few times you'd gone out with your buddies, they told you how shit relationships were
>First it's fun
>Then commitment and other guys possibly come around
>Now you're stuck essentially competeing
>Then kids
>Marriage
>Possibly cheating
>Stealing money
>Essentially just everything fucking horrible
>And here you were, just listening to them all whine about your lives
>While meanwhile, you had the greatest fucking PC setup ever, lonely and waiting back in your awesome and stupidly large house
>Well, large for one person, at least
>But the endless amount of chattering and beers they had on the subject was enough to keep you away from the ladies
>And also your friends
>But only because you couldn't relate to one goddamn thing they said
>And they always envied your rich, lovely single life
>You didn't need that shit
>Not when your merciful lord Gaben was waiting in the Steam wonderland
>...Okay, just shut up
>Focus on Peep here
>Look how damn cute she is
>Yeah, that helps
>...Still miss your PC though
>"A-Anon?"
>You blink a few times
"Yeah?"
>You feel her hug you tighter
>"Can... Can we just stay hugging like this? F-forever?"
>You laugh
"No arguments here, Peep."
>She smiles and buries her muzzle into your chest
>"Good."

>...
>You get woken up by your own snoring, which was pretty damn loud, to be honest
>And here you thought you were a silent sleeper
>You freaking out woke Peep up
>She smiles cutely at you
>"Good morning, Anon."
"Morning, Peep."
>She nuzzles your chest again and blushes
"Oh my god you're so adorable."
>She blushes even harder
>"I-I am?"
>You lean and kiss her again
>You can only describe it as wonderful and addicting
>Kinda like crack
>It's just as magical as it was yesterday
>Well, earlier, technically
>Peep welcomes the shit out of it
>The two of you just melt into each other for a long while
>Soon enough, your lungs demand attention and you break away, panting
>Peep's no better
>And just to think, you went from struggling NOT to be pissed off at this birdpony to, well just kissing and enjoying the shit out of each other
>You may've lost so many things that were very dear to you
>And fucking expensive
>But in turn, you gained much more
>-And wow, holy shit that was cheesy
>But you can't doubt how true it is
>Things were finally beginning to get better-
>"Wow, you two sure are friendly."
>You turn your head and see who just finished watching you and Peep
"Oh. Hey, Blue."
>She boringly waves
>"Excuse me for interrupting you two lovebirds, but I didn't want to be exposed to you both just, going at it while I started my morning flight."
>"W-we weren't-"
>"Oh yeah, yeah, sure! Of course not!"
>She gives a small glare and flies away
>You and Peep just stare
>"Sh-she seems mad."
>Then the door opens Fluttershy comes out, softly humming
>Her head turns to you and she shrinks
>"O-oh, w-was I, I interrupting anything?"
>Peep's muzzle scrunches
"No, Fluttershy, you didn't interrupt anything."
>She hastily nods and runs out into the yard
>Nice, now Fluttershy thinks you fucked on her bench or something
>Peep seems just as flustered as me, but doesn't move
"So, you still want to stay here forever?"
>She thinks about if for a moment, then nods
>Life is good

>...
>"Anon."
>"...Anon."
>"...Anon!!"
>You jump and wake Peep up
>Beside the bench is Twilight, just glaring at you
>Her eyes turn to Peep, and something clicks in her mind
>She gasps
>"A-Anon! Are you...?"
>You're confused for a moment
>Then you get it
"OH MY GOD. Me and Peep AREN'T fucking! We only kissed!"
>wait why did you say that
>Twilight blanks out
>"W...WHAT?! A-ARE Y... ANON?!"
>You shrink
>"That stunt you pulled yesterday in the town is already convincing some ponies that you all need to be kicked out! They're even thinking of throwing FLUTTERSHY out of town! If anypony hears about THIS, they'll run you out for sure!"
>She calms herself down and takes a few deep breaths
>"Okay, look. Anon, I'm not here as a friend, not an enemy. I'll admit I wasn't very onboard with the idea earlier, but any friend of yours is a friend of mine."
>She gives Peep a small smile
>"But word of you housing for a crossbreed has spread around Equestria like wildfire! Such an act has never even been recorded in Equestrian history, ever! It's making ponies upset all around the place, and I don't know how much I can cover for you guys before somepony does something drastic! Your house was already attacked and destroyed by somepony on the weather team, so who's to say it'll stop there?!"
>Peep softly whimpers
>"Even as a Princess here, I won't be able to do much about hundreds of crazy ponies breaking in Fluttershy's doors!"
"...Well, what do you want me to do about it?"
>She holds a hoof to her forehead and begins pacing around in a circle
>"I-I-I don't KNOW! What would ANYPONY do when an entire COUNTRY is out for them?!"
>...What did Osama do?
"Hide?"
>"Hide? WHERE?!"
>Jesus, calm down
"I don't know! Maybe we can make some underground house or something?"
>"An undergrou-... what?!"
>You shrug
>Then you hear vicious knocking on the doors
>Shieeeet

>Vicious knocking
>That's never good
>Okay Anon, you've got about 3 choices here
>Either you fight back like a retard
>Sneak out like a nigga
>Or dig like a bitch
>More knocking
>Fucking shit
>Peep climbs off of you and looks crazy freaked out
>'Aight, time to fucking Rambo this shit
>Gonna kill that horse KKK
>You stomp right into the cottage and prepare to just start punching ponies
>You swing the door open
>You get hit in the head
>...
>You wake up with a gasp
>Shit's crazy dark
>You put your hand in front of your face
>Okay, you aren't blind
>You could've sworn that you got hit in the fucking head though
>You don't feel any pain
>You hear an alarm go off
>You look to your right and see a bunch of numbers on a bright little screen
>You know that Ponyville didn't have any clocks like these
>Only your home did
>Before it got fucked
>It reads 3:26AM
>You finally notice that you were lying on a bed
>You recognize the shit anywhere
>It was definitely your own bed
>You slowly get up and notice something familiar
>Your suit
>You had your suit on
>You smile
>You blindly walk around the place, now recognizing this as your Ponyville house
>Had it been your house on Earth, you'd of probably fallen down the fucking stairs
>Your eyes adjust to the light as you make your way out of your home
>You're still in Ponyville, for sure
>Then you suddenly feel something off
>Where's Peep? Blue?
>And if you were HERE,
>Then what the fuck was everything else that happened?
>Okay, you've seen enough damn movies to know what the fuck was going on
>Somewhat
>You walk back into your home and just go lie on the bed
>Then a thought hits you
>What if this ISN'T a dream, or some weird-ass hallucination?
>What if you got some kind of second chance?
>Were you really going to go back to a homeless, suitless, and tv-less life?
>One where you got so many things taken away from you?
>You think of Peep for a moment
>How great you felt having her there
>But was she REALLY worth it?

>"Anonymous."
>You open your eyes and look around the room
>To your left is some black bitch
>More importantly, a princess black bitch
>She holds a hoof up
>"Before you ask; this is merely a dream. I needed to have a word with you."
>Oh shit
>And let me guess, this was-
>"This is about the crossbreeds."
>-Of fucking course it is
"Okay, so what, you here to kill me or some shit? Was this whole dream thing really necessary?"
>"I am merely here to commend you."
>Wait, what
>Did she fucking say condemn, or commend?
>"With word of your act spreading quickly throughout the nation, ponies all around have taken to some rather serious debate on the matter. Me and my sister both encourage you to continue forwards with this idea of yours."
"...Uh, idea?"
>"The idea that even creatures of mixed species may live together in harmony."
>She finishes a bit abruptly
>You kind of just look around
"Okay... cool?"
>She clears her throat
>You notice her dropping the formal-ass tone
>"Anonymous, what you did here has caused an entire international debate! You've already changed the course of HISTORY by simply being friendly to a crossbreed! We need you to show the world that these ponies are more than just, pests in this country!"
>You furrow a brow
"Okay, and you couldn't do this shit yourself? Can't you make some decree or something? Aren't you a fucking Princess?"
>"There are many limits to mine and my sister's own power. Trying to change a law that's been in effect longer than I've been alive is a bit difficult."
"So then, what? Are you going to give me some kind of crazy superpower or sword or some shit, or were you just here to give me a gold sticker?"
>You could tell she's a little pissed off, but smiles
>"I am only here to tell you that you will not face any kind of dangers you might would have alone. You have mine and my sister's admiration."
>Not face any dangers my ass
"You do realize that I just finished getting fucking knocked out, right?"

>Luna seems a bit taken back
>You nod
"Some motherfuckers attacked me in Fluttershy's cottage. I thought I was in some kind of damned coma or something."
>She steps back and holds a hoof to her chin
>"...While I may not have the power to change much, I DO have some power for OTHER things."
>She smiles
>...
>You jolt awake and sit up
>Then immediately cough
"What the fuck, where am I?!"
>A purple light illuminates the room
>You're underground
>Peep, Blue, Twilight, and of course, Fluttershit are there
>In a fucking hole in the ground
>Niiice
>Feels good to have someone fucking listen to you for a change
>Peep smiles and hugs you
>"You're okay!"
"Yup!"
>Twilight just gives you two a weird look
>Blue looks away
"So Twilight, what the hell happened to me, anyways?"
>She looks at you
>"Somepony kicked you in the face."
>Wow, what a load of bullshit
>And here you ready to destroy a whole fucking town
>Fucking ponies
>Peep looks at you
>"S-so, you were talking in your sleep..."
>"Yeah, you seemed to be saying your own thoughts. What was that about? I heard something about Princess Luna in there." Twilight jumps in
>Saying your own thoughts?
>Oh shit, that means Peep could've heard...
>Nah, you're good, you're good
>You've heard people talking in their sleep
>There was no way Peep heard that one part
>You push that behind you and smile at Twilight
"Well, I DID have a bit of a conversation with Princess Luna..."
>"Really? And??"
>You smile even wider
"It'd be better if you all just saw it. Now take us outside, Twilight!"
>She looks at you like you're some kind of retard
"As a kind man back on Earth once said: JUST, DO IT!!"
>She shrugs
>"Oookay..."
>You could've sworn you saw Peep give you a hurt look right before
>Then in a flash, you and the other four are sitting on the grass
>There's fucking ponies all around you
>The four, freak the fuck out and cling to you, while the crowd starts closing in on you
>You quickly grow anxious
>Then you see it
>Air support

>Had you been back on Earth, you could've sworn you saw jets headed towards you
>They were fucking fast, organized as shit, and even left a trail of smoke behind them
>Probably some kind of illusion or something
>You're not even focusing on the crowd anymore, but you can see a few ponies growing nervous by your smile
>A few look back
>They suddenly look very scared
>That's right, fuckers
>Soon enough, they're dashing right towards you
>Then there's a dramatic cloud of dust and smoke
>Then holy shit, there they are
>The fucking Wonderbolts
>They form a circle around us and stand their ground
>"Protect the VIPs!" one barks
>Ooh, VIPs.
>Sounds nice
>Then, just as some ponies realize what the fuck is going on, you see more dots in the sky coming towards you
>At first, you're fucking scared, because there were a damn lot of them
>Then, you see they're wearing armor
>ROYAL armor
>Two different kinds of it
>Goddamn, you really needed to thank Luna the next time you saw her
>A bunch of guards land behind the crowd, bearing spears
>The other group holding a wall of shields
>Oh shit this was going to be good
>One of the Wonderbolts laughs
>"This is going to be fun."
>My thoughts exactly
>The guards just stand ground, and some ponies just dart
>Obviously the ones just going along with the crowd
>Or the weak ones
>The rest are just silent
>Everyone is silent
>Then a stallion charges toward us
>Oh fuck yeah
>The rest quickly follow suit
>The Wonderbolts are quick and agile as shit
>You see them dodging and kicking ponies in the face
>The guards are bashing ponies back
>You can't contain yourself
>You have to join this
>You take a step forward, and Twilight pulls you back
>"What are you doing?!"
>You turn and smile at her
"I'm gonna have some fun."
>Blue grins
>"I'm in."

>You jump into the mosh pit of ponies and just start fucking punching them all in the face
>PETA would hang you for this shit
>You see a pony turn to you and snarl
"Oooh! Want some of this?"
>They charge at you
>You move slightly to the left and grab them
>Fucking SUPLEX!!
>Damn, there they go!
>You see another one running towards you
>You pretend not to notice
>Then they get closer
>You fucking punt them
"OOOH, HAHA! THREE POINTS!"
>You're enjoying this shit too much
>Pretty sure everyone is looking at you in horror
>You see the Wonderbolts being cornered nearby
>You push through the crowd and tackle a stallion
>You throw him at the other ponies
>They all go down like fucking bowling pins
>The pony you heard talking earlier just stares at you
>Then smiles
>"That, was pretty cool."
>You shrug
"Eh, I try."
>A pony jumps on your fucking back and tries to strangle you
"Not today, motherfucker!"
>You jump and land on your back
>The pony wheezes
>"Ow..."
>You turn and start throwing gang signs
"WEST SIDE, SOOOON! UH, BITCH!"
>Then you suddenly get punched in the face and fall
>3 fucking stallions jump and tackle you
>Two pin your arms, and the third one tries to-
>Nope, you kicked him in the dick
>He writhes in pain while some other ponies take him away
>Then, said ponies hop on top of you
>They just fucking pile on top of you until you can barely move
>"Soarin, Fleetfoot, keep these guys occupied! I'll help this one out!"
>You see that same Wonderbolt come out and kick a stallion in the fucking face
>Your right arm is free
>All those lonely nights help you out a ton
>You grab a pony on top of you by the tail and throw her
>The Wonderbolt is pushing and kicking them off
>The rest tilt and fall like a damn Jenga tower, knocking out that one guy that was still holding you down
>You're free
>The Wonderbolt scans you
>"You all good?"
>You stand up and brush yourself off
"Yup. Thanks for that."

>She simply nods and rejoins her team
>You watch the guard bashing a few more ponies unconscious
>For the most part though, the whole town was taken down
>You see Blue, panting and smiling over a pile of ponies
>Damn
>You then notice that none of the ponies are even dead
>I mean, you'd figure in all of that, at least one pony would've died or broken something
>There were just bruises and small cuts everywhere
>It's like the damn ponies are made of taffy
>There was hardly any blood at all
>Well, at least you got the satisfaction of fucking up some ponies
>And without the mental burden of killing someone!
"Incoming Pegasi from Cloudsdale!"
>Wait what
>You look to the sky and see all these small, colorful things headed towards you from that floating city
>Oh hell no
>You're good on the ground, but if those fuckers are looking for a fight, they could just pull you up and drop you
>The four run back to you and join in staring at the ponies
>If you didn't have the possibility of getting killed here, it would've been an amazing sight
>WOULD'VE been
>"Stand guard!"
>"Hold!"
>"Stay in position!"

>The whole herd on Pegasi stop just above Fluttershy's cottage
>And you almost forgot for a second that a war broke out in her backyard
>One older Pegasus flies down before one of the bat-pony guards
>Wait, bat-pony?
>How did you not notice that before?
>Of course Luna wasn't against crossbreeds
>Her whole guard consisted of them
>And I'm sure that Celestia just agreed with her sister to avoid another dramatic banishment or disagreement
>It all makes sense now!
>You watch the batpony and the old Pegasus dude talking to each other
>It looks like they're both captains of some kind
>Then their voices start to raise
>That one Wonderbolt looks at you-
>-Man, you really needed her name
>"I don't think this conversations getting friendly anytime soon. We gotta escort you guys out of here."
>She barks some orders at the others, then next thing you know, you're being carried through the air
>It'd be a pleasant experience if you had some kind of harness or basket to sit in
>But they just carried you by your arms
>And you screamed
>A lot.
>In the midst of freaking the absolute fuck out, you can see everyone fighting down below
>Looks like you just officially started a civil war
>Wonder if they'll actually have a Confederate and Union side here
>You may of just started a huge fucking war
>All because you gave a pony your sandwich
>Holy shit
>And it wasn't even a good sandwich

>Soon enough, you find yourself in the Princess' castle
>Canterlot was the original destination, but because of all the things being thrown at you, Peep and Blue, the Head Wonderbolt lady decided against it
>And you still didn't know her name
>But now you were staying in the castle
>You'd been here before, but only because nobody knew what the fuck you were
>Both princesses kept an eye on you to see if you were good enough to be trusted
>Then Celestia donated a house to you and had you stay in Ponyville
>THEN gave Twilight the job of watching over you
>And to vaporize you if you did anything wrong
>Which then slowly turned into a dysfunctional, but pleasant friendship between you and the Elements
>And shit, now you were here, essentially like the MLK Jr. of Equestria
>And you were pretty sure you were going to be assassinated at some point
>Someone out there was probably plotting far worse than a fight
>The Wonderbolts closed the castle doors and waited for the guards to lock them before sighing and taking off their flying suits
>"Celestia I could use a shower right now."
>"That was pretty fun though, right?"
>The unnamed Wonderbolt smiles for a moment and looks at the two
>"I probably wouldn't get too comfortable though. Anything can happen."
>She looks at the guards for a second
>"Anything."
>So from there, you're escorted to see Celestia
>But apparently she had more important things to do than deal with a civil war in her own country, so she just sends the eight of you to some room "for your own safety"
>But the room was amazing
>It was like some 5 star hotel shit
>Complete with an open bar
>It was apparently some guest area for traveling delegates to rest
>It was like your own personal Equestrian man-cave
>Despite what the Wonderbolt said
>Or, as you finally know as Spitfire,
>Everyone got pretty damn comfortable pretty damn quick
>There weren't even any guards posted to stare at you 24/7
>And suddenly, starting a war just fucking paid off

>You hit the bar up first
>And with what just finished happening, everyone felt the same
>Besides Peep, Fluttershy and Twilight
>Those losers
>You had thought about where the hell the rest of the six were, but according to Twilight, this huge holographic map sent them to go solve a 'friendship problem'
>Whatever that meant
>You'd figure that the Princess of Friendship would be the one out to solve that shit
>And you'd be wrong
>And now you were chatting around with the Wonderbolts and Blue over the bar
>"...So why are you so tall? And hairless?"
>"Sweet Celestia Soarin, you can't just ask people why they're hairless!"
"-Nah, it's fine, it's fine. I was just born like this. I do shave sometimes though."
>The stallion nods and takes another sip of his drink
>Meanwhile, you don't notice how silent Peep is across the room
>Or how much Blue is drinking
>Spitfire smiles at you
>"So you seemed pretty strong back there in Ponyville. Are you pretty fast, too?"
>Back on Earth, the only thing fast was your PC
"Not even close.Our species is more for stamina and stuff."
>Everyone's ears perk up
>You and Soarin don't even notice
"I remember hearing once about how our ancestors used to hunt. They'd just follow the animals and stuff around until they just, died."
>Soarin laughs
>"Man, that is so damn creepy!"
>You shrug
"Hey, it worked, right?"
>He nods
>You still don't notice how silent everyone but you and Soarin are
>You both start talking about Earth
>Well, you talk about Earth; he just listens
>You mention the Blue Angels, skydiving and everything cool related to the sky that you knew through either video games or movies
>He seems to think Earth is the greatest damn place ever
>So you decide not to list the things that make the place hell
>Spitfire and Fleetfoot are just as interested as Soarin
>Blue listens, but doesn't offer much in the way of words
>At this point, you kind of forgot about Peep, Fluttershy and Twilight
>Your thoughts were getting hazy

>The more time that passes, you notice Blue starting to get more comfortable
>She pitches in with the stories she told you the other day
>You were a bit skeptical on whether the stories were completely true or not, until she busts out pictures
>They were all horribly incriminating pictures of her and her friends with all the shit she told you they stole
>Couldn't deny it now
>Blue was still pretty badass
>Soon, her and the Wonderbolts take to talking about Pegasus crap you knew nothing about
>You decide to simply drink and imagine yourself playing Skyrim
>Then Peep flies over and sits next to you
>You pause the game
"Eeey Peep! 'Chu doin' here? Thought you were talking to Flutter Butter and the Princess of Loserness over there?"
>"HEY!"
>You laugh
>Peep plays with her hooves
>"Y-yeah, but I wanted to talk to you..."
"'Bout what? Wanna hear more cool stories about Earth? Wanna hear of another great Pandoran tale?"
>Peep doesn't understand the obvious Borderlands reference
>Fuckin' pleb
>"A-actually, I wanted to talk about yesterday..."
"OOOH, yesterday? Did you see how I was punching ponies in the face and shit like BAM and POW and everything? How about that one I punted to outer space?-"
>"-I wanted to talk about something else from yesterday..."
"Well come on then! I ain't getting any sober-er!"
>She pauses, then looks straight at you
>"Y-yesterday, when you were out of it, you were talking..."
>You nod
"Aaand?"
>"A-and you talked about all the things you lost..."
>She pauses again and breathes
>"Y-you asked yourself if I was worth it. Worth losing everything you had. B-but you never answered yourself..."
>Another deep breath
>"A-am... am I worth it, Anon?"
>You smile and hold a hand to your chin
"We're comparing monetary value here? Oookay! Well then, you don't have 4K HD, which kinda sucks. Joey was like, 5 bucks, and since you're a living thing too, you'd be 5 bucks. You're no house either, so I guess all in all, you're worth 5 bucks!"
>You smile
>"...I know that's not Equestrian currency you're talking about. Is... is 5 bucks a lot?"
>You laugh
>Really hard
"Shit, maybe when you're a little kid, yeah!"
>You're too busy laughing to see Peep fly away with tears in her eyes
>Mostly because YOU had tears in your eyes
>From laughing.
>...You dick.
>You notice that Peep flew away, most likely content with her new monetary value
>You take a moment to wonder how much you're worth
>Ooh, easily 400, that's for sure
>Blue now flies over to you while the Wonderbuddies just talk about other things
>You weren't paying any attention
>Blue doesn't even start off with a friendly greeting
>"Do you like me?"
>You take another sip of... whatever you got and smile at her
>She drunkenly smiles back
"Do I like you? Shit, of course I do!"
>She beams
"You remind me of my friends back home!"
>Her smile falters a bit
>"Not like that! I mean..."
>She gives you a seductive look
>You don't notice
>You're not a perceptive drunk
>"Do you LIKE me? In, you know... the other way?"
>She puffs her chest up a bit
>It looks so fluffy
"Heh, what other way is there? And man, you look so soft! Can, can I- I'm just gonna hug you."
>You hug her
>Holy fucking shit, she IS soft
>You don't hear Peep whimper in the background
>You laugh
>"Goddamn it, how can I make this anymore obvious Anon?" Blue whispers
"Huh, what?"
>"Nothing."
>After pushing you off, Blue flies back to her seat and Spitfire looks at you
>"You know, you should totally hang out with us sometime. You're a pretty cool guy."
"Fuck YEAH I am! Hangin' out would be awesome! Better than being with these un-fun LOOOOOSERS!"
>Peep whimpers even louder
>Blue's staring at the wall
>Fluttershy and Twilight are glaring at you beside Peep
"We DEFINITELY needa do this shit again, guys!"
>Soarin, Fleetfoot and Spitfire all smile
>Nobody else is
>You fucked up, Anon

>Your head
>Your eyes
>Your throat
>Everything hurts
>You groan and get up from bed
>You must've downed half the castle's fucking liquor for a hangover this bad
>You just hoped you managed NOT to say something stupid or hurtful last night
>The last time you drank a lot, you ended up telling a friend you didn't give a flying fuck about his relationship
>And, well, you DIDN'T, but it still was a fucked up thing to say
>Needless to say, you lost a friend that night
>And became one step closer to being a social recluse
>Eh, oh well
>That was the past
>And the present, although still horrible and fucked up, was still significantly better
>Until you got killed somehow
>But it seemed a lot less likely now, with all this crazy castle security and stuff
>Your door busts open, and Twilight is standing there with a scared and pissed off look
>"Peep is gone."
>You spit your imaginary drink and stare at Twilight
"You're joking, right? You GOTTA be joking."
>Twilight shakes her head and glares
>"You seem awfully surprised, seeing how you're the one who drove her away."
"What? The fuck you talking about, Twilight?"
>She just continues glaring at you
>"Figure it out yourself."
>She throws a slip of paper at you and walks off
>You pick it up and read it
>'I'm sorry I was never good enough for you, Anon. The very short time we had together was something I'll keep with me forever. It was stupid of me to ever think I could be happy. You deserve someone better, Anon, someone worth something. Me? I'm just.. worthless. Goodbye, Anon, I wish you well.'
>You hold the note still in your hands
>You don't breathe
>You don't move
>You can't think
>Nobody else is to blame here
>You drove her away
>NOW, you truly have nothing
>Material items was one thing
>But Peep was much more
>You neglected her
>Ignored her
>Probably called her worthless
>How are you worth any more?
>You can't just stand here and do nothing though
>You have to catch here
>Wherever she is
>She couldn't have gone far

>You don't say goodbye
>You COULDN'T say goodbye
>Judging by how Twilight acted, you didn't say very many nice things last night
>Fluttershy avoids your eyes while you pass by her
>You're about to open the doors out of there when Blue stops you
>"Where are you going?"
>Her voice sounds different
>It's not as tough and joyful as it usually was
>It sounds...
>Defeated
"I have to go find Peep."
>She glances at the floor for a split second
>"I'm helping."
"What? Why?"
>She seems to think about it
>"Because Peep would do the same."
>The way she said that almost sounded like a question
>Like she was asking you to buy an excuse
>But an excuse for what?
>Fuck it, you'll ask about it later
"Alrighty then, let's go."
>Instead of just, walking out of the castle, you had to be carried away by Blue
>More than a few guards asked where we were headed, then told us of special orders to prevent us from leaving the castle
>Apparently, we were that important
>But a simple 'library visit' excuse was enough to pry them away
>"Any idea where she's at?" Blue panted
>You weren't exactly light
>Well, compared to the ponies
>On Earth...
>Well, that was a different story
>You were fucking huge
>Many chairs were broken in your house
>Then there was a moment you decided to change, better yourself
>You slimmed down
>Then started talking to those friends
>Got bored of hearing about their problems
>And became a slim recluse
>Oh how you wish you were just back home
>As great as the whole experience had been -aside from this-
>Games didn't require so much drama and fighting and shit
>Well, depending on what you chose
>But this shit was both mentally and physically exhausting
>Just, again, not right now
>But only because Blue was flying you
>And trying not to struggle
>For you two going on this huge and important quest
>You both sure looked fucking stupid right now

"I only remember Peep telling me that she used to fly South to find a town nice enough to stay in... She could also be heading back up to... wherever she lived, to find her mom."
>"So either way, we're winging it?"
"Pretty much."
>"Man... What did you say to her?"
>You stared at the ground
>Despite being so high up, you didn't flinch at the sight
>Most likely because...
>Nah.
"I'm not sure, but it wasn't pretty."
>"Hm."
>You both are silent for a while before something clicks in your mind
"Did... did I say something stupid to you, too? If I did, I'm sorry-"
>"-Nah, you didn't even talk to me. You're alright."
>You don't buy that
>At all
"...What did I say?"
>Blue is quiet
>"...Doesn't matter. It's nothing."
>Why do people do this shit?
>When it's 'nothing', it's always fucking something
>You drop the subject
>...
>Blue's getting tired
>Real tired
>You both weren't sure whether you were just going to fly to the next town or what
>But now you couldn't
>And of course, she got tired right in the middle of the Everfree Forest
>You've heard so many damn scary stories about this place
>So many stupid adventures into here from the six
>And now, you were both going to be stuck in the middle of it
>The most shit you knew about survival was picked up from games
>Blue only knew about surviving in the city
>This was going to be fucking fun
>Blue tried to force herself further
>Then she just couldn't fly
>A wing cramped up, and you both fell out of the sky
>You tumbled and crashed into a tree
>Blue tried her best to stay in the air, but fell and ended up in a huge bush
>You brushed yourself off and recovered
>Before you could help Blue out, she was already on her hooves
>She clutched her wing
>"I, I think I sprained it, or something..."
>Well shit
>Now you both really AREN'T flying out of there
>You look around at your surroundings
>Everything's dark
>Like, Compton dark
>It's scary
>You hear some howling and shit in the distance
>You're screwed.

>Alright, well, you gotta find some place to hole up
>Shelter, food and water
>The basics
>A cave or something should do good
>You usher Blue to follow you
>She puts on a brave face
>You don't
>You're fucking scared shitless
>You can't be brave
>You're probably super close to just being destroyed by fucking wolves or some shit
>You walk blindly into the forest, continuing to go South
>...You think
>Not more than 10 minutes in, you spot a house thing
>It's made of what looks like twigs and crap
>Not very stable looking
>But blends in pretty well
>Good thing you're a perceptive person
>It's also a good thing your hangover is a few minutes from fucking off
>You slowly crouch up to the building and peek inside it
>Nobody's home
>It seems abandoned
>You think back of all the horror movies that ended up like this
>Fuck it, you can take 'em
>The place is pretty small, so you were certain the one occupying it would be, too
>You both go inside
>There's a blanket on the floor and a small pillow
>There's a box beside it
>You peek inside
>There's gems, jewelry, watches
>Just loads of shiny looking shit
>Maybe the place wasn't unoccupied after all
>You hear some rustling nearby and duck into the place
>Blue follows
>"Do you think that's the owner coming back?"
>You shrug and keep quiet
>Suddenly, you see a pony walk inside
>They're wearing some kind of cloak or something
>You don't know if it's just how fucking dark it is in the forest, but you're pretty sure that they're colored back
>Wow, a black pony with most likely stolen items
>You don't even need a racist joke here
>She/he looks at you and freaks the hell out
>And starts making some weird noises
>Almost like...
>Oh god, don't tell me
>It's another birdpony
>"WHAT THE HAY ARE YOU?!"
>Again, another female
>She spreads her wings and ruffles the feathers
"Woah, calm down, calm down! We're not here to hurt you!"
>"Why should I trust you?!"
>Hmm, good point
"I dunno."
>Nice

>You feel Blue starting to ruffle her own feathers
>You remembered what Fluttershy told you about her
>She was vicious
>You also saw that shit firsthand
"Blue, calm down. Don't attack or anything."
>She surprisingly calms very quickly
>The other pony starts to calm down, too, though not much
"Look, if we were here to hurt you, wouldn't we have, already? You're already outnumbered here."
>She thinks about it for a moment, then takes off her hood
>Turns out she was wearing a hoodie
>A very tattered one
>She's pretty much completely dark, aside from her huge blue eyes
>It was the only real visible feature
>Her coat was a light grey color and her mane was shade lighter than pure black
>You didn't see much point of the hoodie, most likely because it was a lighter color than her coat, but you remembered hearing how cold this damn forest got at night
>You just hoped you didn't have to experience it
>"What are you here for? What are you doing in my nest?"
>Wow, she actually referred to it as a nest
>Well if there was any doubt, that just confirmed that she was definitely a birdpony
>Blue tries spreading her wing and winces
>"We crashed here."
>"From where?"
"Canterlot."
>She glances at the box of shiny things and back at you
>"Canterlot?"
>You nod
>Was this pony a klepto or something?
>"Why did you come here from Canterlot?"
"We're uh, trying to find a friend. She ran away just this morning. Think she headed South."
>"She doesn't happen to be grey, does she? Brown eyes?"
>You vigorously nod
"Where'd she go?!"
>"South, just like you said. She told me she just wanted to 'get away from everything'."
"Can you show us exactly where she went?!"
>She furrows a brow
>"Sure. But it'll cost you."
>You feel Blue getting closer to you
>You ignore it
"How much?"
>"Oh, I'm not asking for bits. Just a visit to Canterlot after we find her."
>Holy shit, and here you thought she wanted your soul
>Well, if you had one, anyways
"Deal."
>You get up, and Blue nearly falls backwards

>The pony throws the items from the box into a backpack and heads out the door
>"Let's get a move on, then! Don't want to be out after dark, that's for sure."
>You and Blue walk out and follow her
"What's your name, anyways?"
>She thinks about it for a moment, as if to think whether it was a good idea to tell you two
>"Jackie. And you?"
"Oh, I'm Anon, and this is Blue."
>You point at Blue and notice her blank stare
>You've seen that a lot since Fluttershy's house
>Maybe the fight did something to her?
>You hear some growling in the background
>Jackie instinctively jumps into a tree and hangs onto the branch
>She was also completely silent while doing it
>This pony was crazy fucking quiet
>What bird was she?
>You didn't know much about birds at all, and the only thing that you thought of was a crow
>But that weird call thing she made earlier didn't sound like any crow you've heard
>Probably the same family, though
>She hops back down when the growling stops and notices your confused look
>"Better to be safe than sorry in this forest. Anything here can get you."
>On cue, you hear a very faint howl
>...
>The walking is fucking boring
>According to Jackie, it has to be, because the fucking things in this forest can apparently hear really damn far
>It was like walking through a black neighborhood
>Only, instead of taking your stuff and probably beating the shit out of you, they just fucking kill you and eat you
>Well, whichever part you went through determined how bad you got it
>Some kind of gang neighborhood would just shoot you in the face without asking
>...God, this is boring
>Of course your main focus of this all is to get Peep back, but why couldn't you get some kind of enjoyment out of it?
>Where's the damn crazy montage scene?
>The monster battl-
>Fucking howl
>NO monster battles
>But where was all the fun and adventure shit?
>Were things seriously only interesting when you ended up in fucking dang-
>-OH FUCK

>You start tumbling down a hill
>You're smashing into twigs and leaves and shit
>You're making a huge racket
>As if you could fucking stop yourself
>You hit the bottom and feel stupidly dizzy
>At least that could be classified as exciting
>Blue and Jackie fly down toward you
>"You alright, Anon?"
"Fuck, I'm fine, Blue. I think."
>"That made a lot of noise. I suggest we find somewhere to hide before-"
>You hear a growl
>Oh shit
>In the surrounding trees are pairs of yellow eyes
>Well, looks like there's going to be a monster battle anyways
>You were gonna go all Liam Neeson on these fuckers
>But you don't have any weapons
>7 of the damn bastards emerge from the trees
>Jackie and Blue back against the hill you just finished falling down
"Guys. Fly away."
>They both give you a worried look
>"I'm not leaving you, Anon!"
"Oh come on, don't do this sappy movie bullshit! Get out of here!"
>Blue shakes her head quickly
>"No! I won't lose you!"
>Not succumbing to the shit movie cliches, you settle for a small, unamused look
"Just go already."
>Jackie nudges Blue as the... what the fuck were they called -woody wolves or some shit- come closer to you all
>Blue gives you one last look before Jackie helps fly her up the hill
>Alright, well, you asked for something to happen, and here it was
>Now what the hell were you gonna do?
>These wolf things were made out of wood, but they were pretty damn big, and there was seven of them
>Alright, so the two were safe and sound
>Only one thing to do now...
>You clench your fists and glare at the wolves
>Then turn around and start frantically climbing up the hill, screaming the whole time
"I DON'T WANT TO DIIIIIE!"
>One clamps down on your leg and tries to pull you down
>You kick the shit out of it and continue scrambling
>You slip and feel another grab your leg
>And another
>You feel like you're in some sort of goddamned zombie movie
>And you're the poor unlucky and untalented fuck to die
>Well, you asked for adventure.

>You see a beam of magic whizz past you and hear one of the bitches yelping
>You sink further, and a wolf bites down on your thigh
>It fucking hurts like shit
>Another beam
>You sink
>One gets your stomach
>Another your shoulder
>You can't move because of how much pain you're feeling
>Beam
>You fruitlessly reach for the hill
>The wolves clamp down harder
>More beams
>You start to feel less pressure
>You don't want to move
>"ANON!"
>You see Twilight flying down to you, crown and everything
>Blue and Jackie join quickly
>You don't know if you have any serious damage or anything, but shit hurts everywhere
>You're still lying on your stomach on the hill
>You're at a pretty odd angle because of how steep the thing was
>You hear a few small gasps
"It, uh... it's not that bad, is it?"
>They don't answer
>Blue whimpers
>Twilight's breathing erratically
"Guys, you're worrying me."
>No answer
>You take a deep breath and turn around, now having your back to the hill
>You see blood on your left shoulder, but it's not much considering
>You look near your waist and-
>Oh.
>There's a missing piece of your side
>You literally lost your sides
>Your left is bleeding like shit
>There's a huge gash on your right leg
>Chunk missing on left
"Fuck me."
>Blue is turned away while Jackie just brushes her hair and soothes her
>Twilight inspects you
"So, please tell me you have some magic shit to help me here."
>She shakes her head
"Oh come on! Your Cutie Mark is in MAGIC. Isn't there SOMETHING you can do?"
>"Well maybe if you didn't run off, I wouldn't NEED to do something!!"
>You roll your eyes
>She kinda got you there
>But you still had to find Peep
>Somehow...

>"I-I don't know what to do from here!"
"So, teleporting me to a hospital isn't an option? Canterlot?"
>Another head shake
>"I only found you because of all the noise you were making! We're in the middle of the forest!"
>Because I didn't know that
"Well doctor, how bad is it anyways? I'm missing a few pieces, but I don't think they hit anything important."
>"But you're losing too much blood!!"
"Jesus, okay, calm down."
>Fuck it, you're used to losing blood
>You donated a lot
>Sure, it was all to your mom, but...
>Never mind
>You stand up against everything telling you not to and walk a few steps
>Feels like there's some assholes with water guns full of lemon juice just firing at you
>But you manage to walk
"Okay, can't we find some giant-ass leaves or something for a bandage?"
>You're surprised how well you're taking everything
>Being attacked by wolves and a near-death experience
>But you don't actually feel that it'll KILL you
>"Big leaves?"
"No, big dicks- YES big leaves! Just grab some small ones and make that shit bigger!"
>Twilight does just that
>You try to wrap them around your wounds, but you don't know shit about bandaging
>You eventually get them wrapped up, but it looks like shit
>You're also sure it'll get infected or something
>Meh, fuck it
>You keep walking
>"A-Anon, you can't keep walking like that!"
"Of course I fucking can, what am I doing now? Jesus, it's like you all WANT me to fucking die!"
>To be honest though, that kind of made sense
>Especially with-
>Nah, fuck off, brain
>You gotta find Peep!

>...Peep...
>You... you're the reason she left, aren't you?
>Drunk or not, you did it
>You drove her off
>And here you were, bored out of your mind
>But you weren't here for fun
>You were here for Peep
>You never treated it that way
>You're too lost in your thoughts to hear the others calling for you
>You continue limping forward
>You HAVE to make this right
>You have to make amends!
>You're, you're the good guy!
>The hero!
>...Right?
>All that you've done so far doesn't seem it
>...But you defended Peep in that fight at Fluttershy's!
>Was that really for Peep though... or your own amusement?
>...That's right.
>You don't deserve her.
>After all the love and trust she put into you, you just throw her away.
"No, that's bullshit. I didn't-"
>You DIDN'T say she was worthless?
"Well fuck... I don't know-"
>You DIDN'T hesitate to help her in her time of need?
"Yeah, but that-"
>You don't really love her, do you?
"The fuck? Of course I d-"
"Because she loved you. More than you'd ever know."
>You peer into the darkness of the forest
>Twilight can't find you
>They all heard you talking to yourself
>You keep walking
"Where are you going?"
"Why are you going?"
>I've got to find Peep
"You keep walking. Then you finally see it."
"It's Peep."
"She's sitting on a branch. She looks at you."
"What's up?"
"You found her. You finally found her."
"Now, you can rest."
>Forever."

>...
"Oh my god, this is priceless."
>You hold the papers in your hand as you read the last sentence. There were almost forty pages of the stuff.
>You found Blu's fan fiction about you.
>You expected more of her writing to involve you and her just kissing and shit, but you were wrong.
>That still didn't make the whole thing any less crap, though.
>The door opens, and Blu steps inside with a smile on her face.
>Her eyes stop on you, then gaze at the paper.
>Her whole expression falls.
>You smile and wave the papers at her, enjoying every second of it.
"Forgetting something?"
>"H-how did you find it?"
"I have my ways. GREAT read though!"
>Her face goes red while her eyes trail to the floor.
>"I...I have a lot of readers that depend on me! They send me letters and stuff, and I-I-"
"You couldn't've been more original with the self-insert though?"
>"W-what do you mean?"
"Your name is Blu, and the pony in here is named Blue. You're a Bluebird, she's a BlueJAY. Obvious self-insert here."
>"If you didn't know me, you'd of never known that!"
"Well tough shit, because I do! And what the hell happened to me at the end of this?"
>Blu rubs her hooves and stares at the paper, embarrassed to all hell.
>"It's, it's implied that you die, from all the blood loss, makes you all loopy and stuff..."
"Wow. That's really edgy. You're really edgy, Blu."
>"Shut up! Just, get out of my room!"
"Hey, I actually came here to invite you for lunch. Me and Peep are gonna go grab some fries, want in?"
>Her muzzle scrunches for a moment while she thinks about it.
"I won't talk about your fanfic."
>She looks up at you.
>"I, I don't know... One of my readers told me I shouldn't do anything but write..."
>This pony had a problem.
"Looks like you've done enough of that."
>She makes a long, exaggerated sigh,
>"I guueess."
"That's the spirit. Now let's get out of here."

>Anon walks out of the room
>You go back inside and quickly grab a notepad and put a pencil between your ear
"Juust in case."

>Now you were sitting down over a basket of fries with Peep and Anon
>Spending so much time ignoring people for that story hopefully paid off
>You felt it was bit of an abrupt ending, but you weren't completely used to creating long pieces
>At all
>You didn't know how some authors did it
>You felt yourself so entranced in the story at some parts, even going to far as to skipping eating and sleeping to finish a single part...
>You know what?
>You should be proud
>You wrote like, 15 thousand words
>Compared to all the other small stories you've made, it was a great thing
>Also, there was your horrible procrastinating habit
>You really needed to fix that
>But you finally did it
>Although probably not that well
>Seriously, the ending bugs you more than the one from that one game Anon told you about
>What was it?
>Oh, Mass Effect 3
>Right
>It didn't sound that great
>"Blu, you haven't even touched the fries. Still getting used to being outside?"
>You idly picked a few and continued thinking
>Your eyes wandered to Peep and Anon
>It was obvious they liked each other
>A lot
>That was why it made so much sense in your story
>Even the roof collapsing in Anon's house was true
>Just, not the hate, the war, Twilight being mean...
>Pretty much a lot more than half of it
>But there was definitely a connection thing here between the two
>Probably one you weren't able to convey very great
>You still don't know much about Anon, but you tried your best
>You just knew he cursed a lot
>He also cared about Peep very much
>Probably not enough to be as rude as he was in your story though
>You wondered if he picked anything up from it
>Wondered if it helped him get the courage to say something
>It was obvious the two were waiting for the other to make a move
>Maybe you could write a romance about it?
>...Nah
>You smile and sigh
>After what seemed like a wild adventure in your own room, you wondered if your life could ever get that exciting
>But who knows?
>Maybe it would today?