Jul 2020

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand just how pretty Lyra Heartstrings is. The beauty is incredily subtle, and without a solid grasp of aesthetics most of the expressivity will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Lyra's innocent and pure characterization, which is deftly woven into her portrayal - her personal motto "play notes, eat oats" is a clever encapsulation of her simple yet elegant lifestyle, for instance. Those who waifu Lyra understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depth of this mare, to realize that she's not just funny - she is an inspiration for how to live LIFE. As a consequence people who merely ship Lyra truly ARE idiots - of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the popularity of sexual intercourse in the missionary position after marriage for the sole purpose of procreation and the consumnation of love between a man and a mare; which itself is a cryptic reflection on the perverse and fetishistic nature of love in the modern world. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those ejaculatory dependents scratching their heads in confusion as the magnum opus of Lauren Faust in minty mare form unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. And yes by the way, I DO have a Lyra plush with a special pony pocket™. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the Lyra's eyes only - as a tribute of my dedication to her. And even then, it is only to be delivered after I've reached Equestria.

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Anonymous 07/10/20(Fri)19:26:12 No.35584545
>There's so many Little horn heads gathered around here, Bon is starting to look like a token mud horse.
>Apparently the newcomers are more of Lyra's friends from Canterlot.
>They seem like a good bunch of ponies.
>You're not just saying that because they brought you some fancy tea.
>The little oat thief knocks and rubs against your leg, using it as an impromptu scratching post.
>You sigh, and reach over, scratching at her withers.
>"...Little to the righ- ohhh, sun and stars, that's good."
>Lyra's ears drift back and her bottom lip gets all droopy, nickering as she leans more into you.
>And without a word, and a flick of her tail she wanders of to graze some more.
>Watching you from the corners of their eyes, Lyra's mom and the blue one, Minuette you think she was called, come to get the same treatment.
>One mare on either side, the mares stiffen in surprise at the alien feeling of nails digging into their fur.
>Sure enough, they relax little by little, Minutette, near falling asleep on her hooves as you work your magic.
>Yeah, you're a glorified back scratcher now.
>Could be worse.
>The pink haired one, Twinkleshine, looks up at you with concern. "Anon, are you sure you don't want to try grazing? I can be a look out."
"I-"
>The Blue one jumps up in excitement "Lyra said human's don't graze, isn't that cool!"
"Yeah."
>Lemon looks to you in wonderment "Must be nice, not having to graze."

 Anonymous 07/10/20(Fri)19:27:25 No.35584552
>The cream colored one looks up, pushing her glasses up higher on her snoot.
>"I wouldn't be so sure. It's scientifically proven that grazing relieves stress, lowers the heart rate, and decreases chances of stomach problems among other things... No offense, Anon."
"None taken."
>"In fact, some of us ideally should be eating a whole bunch of high caloric grain too often, like oats."
"That oat thief got you too, huhh?"
>"Multiple times, I even set up wards around my kitchen. I didn't think she'd know how to disable them. It's easy to forget we were in the same classes growing up."
"So she was serious about going to a nerd school."
>Before the little dork can chew you out, Minuette snorts with laughter.
>"He's a stampede! I like this guy."
>Bon makes a frustrated snort, looking around with her ears on a swivel.
>"Where's Lyra, anyways?"
>All the ponies lift their heads up to look at you.
"Well, don't look at me."
>Bon's snoot scrunches. "Anon, you're supposed to be the look-out."
>You frown at each other for a moment, faces slowly falling.
"MY OATS!"
>"My OATS!"

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Anonymous 07/18/20(Sat)23:33:41 No.35627952
>Your door crashed against the floor, scraping against the floor as it slid to a stop
>Lyra bounded in, plague doctor mask strapped to her face
>"Mineth senses findeth themselves offend'd by the foul od'r of thy genitalia, Anonymous."
>You sighed and set down your newspaper
"Lyra where the fuck did you get that mask?"
>"Tis prop'r apparel f'r circumstances as dire as those which we findeth ourselves in."
>Have ponies even invented plagues yet?
>"Cometh hith'r, f'r th're is much w'rk to beest done."
>You leaned back, hands clasped behind your head as your eyes wandered to the ceiling
"Mmmmm, I dunno, I have a /very/ busy schedule today. I'm not sure I can find a place to squeeze you in."
>After all, that cum jar isn't gonna fill itself
>Lyra leapt up onto your lap, crumpling your newspaper underneath her fat fucking horse ass
>She placed her hooves on your shoulders, leaning in until the pointy part of her plague mask pressed into your cheek
>"Thou'st should not but followeth with haste, Anonymous! F'r such a disast'rous stench might not but beest the w'rk of a vile sor'cress, 'r a grand imbalance of thine own humors!"
"Vile sorceress? You're not talking about that striped fuck out in th-"
>Lyra jams a hoof in your mouth, muffling you
>"Doth not speaketh ill of the bewitch'd one, f'r h'r ears may beest discov'r'd ev'rywh're."
>How the hell did she even learn to speak old english so well?
>Luna hasn't been in-town for at least a whole season!
>"Anonymous i begeth of thee, hast must beest madeth to rectify thine situation bef're t grows beyond our controleth."
>Her face was unreadable behind the plague doctor mask, her eyes concealed behind the foggy glass
>You have no idea what's going on, but you had nothing else to do today, so you figured you might as well humor the mare
>You sighed
"Alright fine, where are we heading?"
>"I findeth myself to beest pleasur'd with thy coop'ration. Alloweth us maketh haste towards our destination. I shalt leadeth the way."

 Anonymous 07/18/20(Sat)23:35:13 No.35627955
"Lyra, why are we wandering through the everfree, seemingly at random?"
>"Relaxeth thineself, Anonymous, f'r i most c'rtainyl am well-vers'd of the path which we traveleth upon."
>You swatted at a mossquito
>Fucking flying veggie parasites are why you never came in here
"Uh-huh, so why is this the third time I've seen that penis shaped rock?"
>Lyra ignored you completely
>"Behold, the abode of the bewitch'd is just ov'r yond'r hill!"
>Huh, guess that must've been a different penis shaped rock
>Who could blame you, the mare practically left a trail of marejuice drippings all the way here
>That and minty mare flank sashaying across the forest left you a little bit flustered
>Lyra burst down the door to Zecora's hut, door scraping against the floor as it slid to a stop
"Why do you do that, Lyra? Doors are a fucking pain to set properly."
>"I findeth t most ent'rtainign. Now, holdeth thineself still while i searcheth this residence f'r the prop'r ingredients to alleviate thy humorial imbalances."
>You rolled your eyes, plopping down on one of zecora's plush pillow cushion things
>You wonder what happened to her
>The fire under the cauldron was still lit, so she didn't leave too long ago; and was probably expecting to return sometime soon
>Pretty convenient that she just so happened to be gone at this exact moment
>Lyra dashed around, tossing stacks of ingredients and potion bottles everywhere
>She wasn't even consulting a recipe book
>Either she had no idea what she was doing, or she had prepared for this long enough to know the recipe like the back of her hoof
>Both options were concerning in their own right
>Finally, she had thrown all the ingredients together into the cauldron in the center
>The cauldron rumbled shook until it exploded like a volcano, unleashing a blast of pink magic smoke
>As the smoke cleared, it left a whispy trail in the shape of a heart above the cauldron
>You paused for a second
>This was awfully forward for a date-rape

 Anonymous 07/18/20(Sat)23:37:30 No.35627960
"Lyra that was a suspiciously heart-shaped cloud that just poofed up from the cauldron"
>"Tis naught but thine imagination, Anonymous"
"So why is the smoke bubbling out pink, and why is a whiff of it giving me involuntary erections?"
>"Thine 'rections art but a temp'rary measureth to induceth prop'r cleansing of thine gentialia, which is naught but the first stage of thy humorial rebalancing."
"Uh huh, and what methods are you going to employ to 'cleanse' my genitalia?"
>"Firstly, application of mineth owneth snout to thine owneth genitalia in a vig'rously cleansing mann'r"
"And how are you going to do that with that mask on?"
>Silence
>Lyra's horn flares up and pulls the mask off of her head; her cheeks puffed out and an exhasperated expression on her face
>"Celestia damnit Anon, just drink the potion and let me suck your dick"
>You chuckled
"You should've just asked. By the by, that was payback for smashing my door down."
>"But where's the fun in that?"
>Lyra smiled, then tipped the potion into your mouth
>The rest of the visit passed by in a haze, but one thing stuck out from it the most
>Horse tongues are fucking weird, man
>Oh, and Zecora returning home with a sack of herbs on her back only to find you two fucking like rabbits over her cauldron
>And the two of you hauling ass back to Ponyville where Zecora dares not tread because most ponies there are still superstitious racist fucks
>But man, those horse tongues are /fucking/ weird

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I like all Lyra. I love and care about Lyra and Lyra. I feel Lyra and Lyra. When I see Lyra murdering oats in the masses, I look at it as a meme and smile. Everything I do for Lyra is out of love. I enjoy petting Lyra and making Lyra Happy. It makes me happy. I have lost my mind. When I get one tickly whisker kiss, I like her. I just say "Bon-Bon and Lyra are just friends." I've changed alright. I've changed into a horse petter just like you. This is who I am now. That's how I've changed. I have even more patience with my oats being stolen. I have loyalty towards Lyra. I'd eat her ass.