I'm Scared For You

I’m Scared for You [A4A] [Finding a Diary Recording] [Emotional Ramble] [Leave me Alone] [Confession] [Feeling like I’m not enough] [I don’t want you to fall in love with me]

Context:
Hanging out at your friend’s house, he/she falls asleep on the couch while watching a movie. You notice his/her laptop is open on the coffee table and you begin to pry into his/her  personal files. You find a folder called “I’m Scared.”... This is the mp3 file you find.

Notes: Act as if your character needs to vent to the world. Be creative and play around with the emotions eg; stand up and move around your room as if you didn’t care about quality. Try to increase over time the amount of emotion you’re putting in as you get further into the script and be as authentic as possible. You can improv anything at any time if you think it fits.


[start]

Today is the 27th of December, 2020 (or any date) and this is my audio log for the day

I wrote some notes down about what I wanted to talk about for the day in my notebook to keep me uh… organized for this one.

Uhh… what is there? School, groceries, tech news, political bullshit.

So at school today, math was just the same drag as it has always been, atleast i got to sit in back where no one can see me snoozing. Uh… i’m planning to make like… i don’t know, i’ll just eat kimchi for dinner, i don’t really care.

My friend… can i really call her that at this point?

[pause]

This is so fucking boring what the fuck was I thinking?

You know what? Fuck the notes I’m gonna talk about what I wanna talk about.

Her… man this girl is so fuckinggggg… I don’t even know

[sigh]

Okay, I’m friends with this girl, I don’t even know if friends is the right word…

I don’t want her to be in my life anymore, she’s just… fuck

It’s not like there’s something wrong with her it’s… just her existence that pisses me off

[say this under your breath] I’m so irrational … this is so stupid

I shouldn’t give a shit about her so why do I still care?

I want something else to care about, something that I know won’t be hurt by me.

I’m acting as if none of these problems affect me and I just release everything making these stupid logs.

While others have friends and therapists I pour my feelings into a fucking mp3 file

[sigh]

I care about her. Her feelings, her health, her life, everything. And I shouldn’t…

She keeps me up at night cause I don’t wanna think about her during the day.

Why does she keep wanting to fucking hang out with me?

Just get the fuck out of my life!

[pause]

[deep breath and soft-spoken tone]

But I can’t bring myself to do it…

I need you...

You became someone I can’t live without…

Every fucking time I try to say something I end up hurting myself

And I feel like I come off as a heartless and a little self-conscious bitch!

And lately, I’m feeling like I’m never good enough for you or anyone and I’m sorry for that

You can call me anything, call me stupid, call me an asshole, call me a dick but just don’t call me your friend.

I just wanna be alone… leave me alone….

I’ll finally be happy…

I won’t have to be scared of falling in love

But I think that’s already happened

Now I just have to hope to god that you don’t do the same for me. Because I’m not good enough.

All I want to know is why you let me fall in love with you because I’m in love with you…

fuck...

[end]