JacklinMauer Shitpost

HI GUYS! JACKLINMAUER HERE WITH A NEW PRODUCT! HAS THIS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU!?
>Be Anon.
>You've been dating your Waifur for a few years now.
>It's time to pop the ultimate question.
>You're going to propose to your waifur and make lots of cute babbies with her.
>You've planned everything to the letter.
>A beautiful date at the fanciest restaurant in town.
>Both of you are wearing your best clothes
>You call one of the high end cabs to take you into back home.
>You walk her back to the front door of your apartment. Her cheeks flushed red, she can't believe she found such a perfect man in you.
>As you both enter your apartment, you hug her from behind and present her with a gift.
>A beautiful necklace, made from her favorite stone.
>She coos as you gentle put it around her neck.
>You turn to face her as her large, gentle eyes looks deep into your face.
>But you have one more gift for her.
>You pull out the little box from your pocket.
>Her eyes widen as you open it and present a ring.
>"Darling, will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?"
>She cries out a yes and wraps her arms around you. Coming close to crushing your ribs.
>Her tears stain your shirt as you hold her close to your chest.
>You both stand there for awhile, basking in this wondrous moment.
>Finally she breaks away and beams up at you.
>"Anon...will you... sing to me?"
>What?
>"Nothing will make this moment more perfect than if you sang to me.
>You freeze.
>You don't know any love songs.
>You never got around to buying JacklinMauer's list of "Songs for him and fur™”
>Your not-so-future-wife begins to frown as you feel spaghetti form in your pocket.
>"Anon...?" She stammers.

>"Come on, Anon. You must know at least one song to sing to me."
>You try to stammer out an excuse.
>You get a slap in the face.
>"IF YOU CAN'T SING TO ME! HOW CAN I EXPECT YOU TO SING OUR CHILDREN TO SLEEP!"
>I WANT A DIVORCE
>You weren't even married but the judge still grants her the apartment and alimony comprising roughly 65% of your income.
>And child support to once she finds a proper man who can sing to her who will fill up her womb.
>Because even in your fantasies you’re still a pathetic loser you stupid fucking bitch oh my god how pathetic can you be you should just fucking kill yourself do you hear me you've been in a coma for 20 years pull the plug end your miserable existence you waste of oxygen-
WELL NOT ANYMORE! Introducing JacklinMauer’s “Songs for him and Fur™” A list of song lyrics you can memorize and sing to your beloved. Leave her awestruck so you don’t get cucked!© In this amazing value deal you will received a list of 10 songs for those special nights when your wiafur wants you to sing to her on a full moon. To show you the high value of this revolutionary product, we’ve included one song in this informational leaflet, free of charge as our gift to you!

>Oh ‘Nonny Boy, Awoos Awoos are cumming
>From thread to /bred/ and down the trembling thighs
>The lights are out and all the humies moaning
>And you, and you must go and fuck awoos

>But cum inside when her heat is ‘aglowin’
>and when her womb is full and white with seed
> You will be there, petting her Tuu’uummy
>Oh ‘Nonny boy, Oh’ Nonny boy, She’ll love you so.

>And when you’ve came, and her pussy is gushing
>And ye is spent, as spent as ye may be
>You’ll come and nap in the place where you belong
>In her arms, you’ll whisper these words to her.
>And she shall hear, this soft and loving truth
>And all her life, will warmer, sweeter be
>And as ye pet, and tell her this fact of life
>That all furbois are cucks and shall forever be