HSDnD wip snippet

WIP snippet of Homestuck DnD ch. 3

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Karkat: SO I HAVE A QUESTION. EGBERT STARTED US OUT AT LEVEL EIGHT. WHY IS THAT?
Dave: are you asking serious questions about the game without complaining
Dave: because if so wow
Dave: you didnt even say fuck in that sentence
Karkat: FUCK YOU. HAPPY?
Dave: yes
John: well basically if you start out at level 1 most of you have single digit hit points and you die in one or two hits. plus everybody has pretty similar attack rolls, saving throws, and a bunch of other stats are just really samey.
Kanaya: And The Point Of The Adventuring Party Is To Have A Great Deal Of Variety Both For Game Balance And For Flavor
John: yeah basically. plus most of the spellcasting classes get access to cool spells around level 5 or 7, that way you're not just going around casting the same boring spell at everything.
Karkat: WOW, CASTING A WEAK USELESS SPELL OVER AND OVER. I WONDER WHAT THE FUCK THAT'S LIKE.
Gamzee: HeY bRo If YoU'rE tAlKiNg AbOuT mOtHeRfUcKiNg BrOfIsT hE dId A pReTtY sIcK bAlL oF fIrE bAcK iN tHe LaSt FiGhT
Karkat: YES, WITH COLLATERAL DAMAGE THAT WE BARELY MANAGED TO HALVE, THROUGH AN UNPRECEDENTED LEVEL OF TEAMWORK AND COORDINATION. PART OF ME IS STILL CONVINCED I HAD SOME KIND OF BLOOD CLOT IN MY THINKPAN AND THAT WHOLE THING WAS SOME KIND OF FUCKED UP HALLUCINATION.
John: i was actually going to start you at level 7 but vriska requested you start at 8 instead.
Vriska: :)
John: the other reason is so if you guys wanted to multiclass into a prestige class you'd be able to have the prestige class right from the start instead of having to build up to it.
Karkat: EVERY TIME I THINK I HAVE AT LEAST A WORKING UNDERSTANDING OF THIS STUPID GAME, YOU COME UP WITH SOME NEW BULLSHIT TERM THAT I CAN'T EVEN FATHOM THE MEANING OF. I WOULD THINK YOU'RE MAKING THIS UP AS YOU GO ALONG IF KANAYA WASN'T CONSTANTLY RECITING SHIT SHE LEARNED FROM LALONDE. WHAT IS A "MULTICLASS?"
Vriska: Oh man, it's the 8est ay to play! The 8est!
Dave: so you know how spider troll is a rogue/assassin
Karkat: YEAH.
Dave: rogue and assassin are two different things
Karkat: SHE HAS TWO CLASSES?
Vriska: A8solutely!
Karkat: WHAT THE FUCK? HOW MANY CLASSES IS SHE ALLOWED TO HAVE?
Kanaya: Technically Speaking There Is No Limit Although Generally Having More Than Two Begins To Become Unwieldy And Is Rarely Effective
Karkat: SO YOU'RE TELLING ME, IN THEORY, IF I WANTED TO BE A FUCKING ASSHOLE, I COULD BE EVERY CLASS AT ONCE?
John: well youre only level 8 so you could have 1 level in 8 different classes. but yeah if you wanted to you could.
Vriska: That would actually 8e pretty funny.
Kanaya: The Player's Handbook Has Eleven Different Classes However Some Of Them Have Alignment Restrictions That Prevent Certain Multiclass Options From Being Possible Within The Rules
Dave: okay calling dibs here
Dave: if brofist dies im switching to a barbarian/bard/cleric/druid/fighter/ranger/rogue/wizard
Dave: or something i dunno ill have to crunch the maths on that
Karkat: OKAY I WON'T EVEN BOTHER GOING INTO ALL THE WAYS IN WHICH THAT IS INCREDIBLY FUCKING STUPID, BECAUSE I'D PREFER NOT TO SPEND THE NEXT TWELVE HOURS IN THIS ROOM. AND NOW I'M ALMOST AFRAID TO ASK, BUT WHAT IS A "PRESTIGE CLASS?"
John: so prestige classes work the same as a regular class when you multiclass except before you can take a level in a prestige class you have to meet certain prerequisites. vriska for example had to have 8 ranks in hide and move silently in order to take the assassin class.
Karkat: OKAY SO HOW MANY OF THOSE CLASSES CAN YOU HAVE? HOW MANY ARE THERE ANYWAY?
Dave: you can have as many as you want just like base classes
Vriska: If you t8ke a look outside the core 8ooks, there's dozens of prestige classes to chose 8etween. Pro8a8ly hundreds!
John: yeah thats something i didnt mention when i was explaining this game before we started. this game was released under an open license. anybody could develop content for it and release new books as long as they didnt use some specific trademarked stuff. so theres a ton of material out there.
Karkat: WHAT YOU'RE DESCRIBING SOUNDS LIKE A COMPLETE AND TOTAL CLUSTERFUCK OF A GAME.
John: yeah the system is kind of a mess if you try to look at every single book ever published.
Kanaya: Rose Mentioned That There Was A Great Deal Of Content That Was Of Dubious Quality And Suggested Sticking To Core Material With No More Than A Few Third Party Books At A Time
Kanaya: However She Did Mention That At Its Core A Lot Of The Game's Mechanics Began To Break Down Balance Wise At Middle To High Levels
Dave: oh yeah as a game dnd is broken as shit
Dave: look at any spell above 3rd level they get fucking insane
Dave: guess what thats not the fucking point
Dave: its an rpg the point is to sit around and play pretend with your friends
Dave: like no shit the game mechanics are unbalanced and stupid thats probably intentional
Dave: if you go into it expecting it to be like a video game where youre meant to have fun by blowing shit up with the mechanics of the game
Dave: youre going to be fucking bored and miserable and youll fucking deserve it too
Kanaya: Dave I Did Not Expect You To Feel So Strongly About This
Dave: see heres the thing
Dave: its one thing to hate something and call it stupid i mean thats fine nobody likes everything
Dave: but when you hate something because you suck and youre doing it wrong you can just go fuck off