My dearest Krass,

Upon this canvas I shall spill my soul's inner-most desires for you, and upon my chest I carve your name with the dagger of carnal desire, so the world may knoweth that only you lie within my heart.

With sensual velvet kisses, with flames of passion, with lustful burning eyes I bathe this canvas in my love-soaked thoughts for you, and only you.

What person in their sane mind could resist your fabulous grey eyes which are more beautiful and radiant then the colour of elephants or mice.

I really admire your gorgeous, mysterious black hair. Whenever I see it I can't help but notice how shiny it is. I often wonder if you clean it using shoe polish. Technically speaking that would work, but I guess it would smell a bit weird, so I reckon it must be naturally shiny.

I've always loved walking on the beach, hand in hand with you. Just you and me, with the sound of the waves lapping against the shore has always meant something to me. I love when we kinda get too close to the edge and then I push you into the water and watch you cry like a little girl when you get your shoes wet. Watching you stomp around afterwards and scream is even funnier, my love!

Words alone cannot express how unique my love is for you. I love you, and you only, I swear that to you my love ....OK, perhaps I got a little too excited cos I also love my TV which, I understand is only a box containing silicon and bits of metal, but oh it brings me joy and just holding the remote control feels really nice in my hands, but thats besides the point. My point is that I love you and my love for you is unique (isn't it weird how the word 'unique' and 'eunuch' sound the same? The word Unix also sounds similar, but 'Chimpanzee' doesn't)

You know I've always loved your gorgeous bum and I can't wait to see you again so I can drool like an idiot over your bum and make a complete fool out of myself in public as always. I think its great how you just roll your eyes upwards whenever I do that, and politely smile at me. Oh how I do love those charming little habits of yours!

Anyway darling, I must depart now. I really can't wait to see you again, especially if you are gonna be wearing sexy Leapord Skin underwear for me! Go on, surprise me! I've often wondered what you would look like wearing those, and many a nights have gone by where I would sit and fantasise about you wearing Leapord Skin underwear and I would have no need to watch music videos any more.

With every beat from my burning, heart which screams your name with every carnal thought of you, I wish you the most happiest Valentines Day ever!

I remain a humble slave in your lustful thoughts,

narnz

xxxoooxxx