(TF) Celestia and Luna pick on humans for fun 12

Jan 25th, 2013
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  1. "No, I'm not Anon!"
  2. >"The truth hurts, doesn't it?"
  3. "Stop it! My name is Spit Shine!"
  4. >The voice cackles at you once more.
  5. >"How long do you plan to ignore this?"
  6. >Your response is a frustrated shout that quickly turns to heavy breathing.
  7. >A quick check around you confirms you're back on your couch.
  8. >The nightmares are getting stranger.
  9. >You could have sworn that voice sounded familiar.
  10. >It was almost... motherly in a sick way.
  11. >A clear of the throat from the monster gets your attention as he points to the door.
  12. >Is he drinking coffee and reading a paper?
  13. >Where did he even get the pipe?
  14. >"You okay Shiner? I thought you were going to swing by in the morning."
  15. >Joe? Oh right, you were supposed to meet him in the morning.
  16. "W-What time is it?"
  17. >Way to hide the fact you just woke up.
  18. >"It's ten o' clock. I came to see what was going on and I find you tossing and turning on your couch. What the hay was the shout about?"
  19. "I-I was... shouting?"
  20. >Joe walks up to you and just stares into your eyes
  21. >"Geez Shiner, you look like Tartaros."
  22. "I just woke up."
  23. >"No, your eyes. They look so exhausted. Have you been getting any sleep at all?"
  24. "I had another nightmare..."
  25. >The defeated tone in your voice makes your ears fall as you trail off.
  26. >"A nightmare huh? Is that why you were mumbling about somep0ny named 'Anon'?"
  27. >Your ears stand up, eyes widen, and you stare Joe down.
  28. "What do you mean mumbling? I know I gave you a key, but just how long were you standing there?"
  29. 1/8
  31. >"Easy Shiner," Joe backs up a little, "I've only been here for about a minute before you woke up."
  32. >You sigh before calming down and sinking into your couch.
  33. "I was really mumbling something about Anon?"
  34. >Joe tilts his head at that.
  35. >"Who is it?"
  36. "It's nobody!" you snap back causing Joe to flinch.
  37. >Without realizing it, you're actually glaring at him now.
  38. >"Shin-" he tries to speak, but you cut him off.
  39. "No, don't worry about it, Joe. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped like that. Look, Running Gag called me by that name, and hearing it gave me a weird headache. The whole event just got to me I think, and it gave me a nightmare."
  40. >Your face falls and you just look at him apologetically.
  41. >"Shiner," he sighs, "I knew you were hiding something from me. We need to get you to that specialist sooner than we originally planned. Get up and get ready. We're going as soon as possible."
  42. >You know better than to argue with Joe when he adopts that tone.
  43. >It practically commands your obedience.
  44. >Somehow, you manage to get ready in about 15 minutes.
  45. >You usually like longer showers, but a good hallucination sped up the process.
  46. >Why did you have to see the monster's face staring back at you in the water like it was your actual reflection?
  47. >The monster just watches all this unfold with a yawn and a scratch to his flank.
  48. >He doesn't even change his outfit! It's the same he has worn since he first appeared!
  49. >Everyp0ny is just lucky he's only a hallucination. Celestia help you if you could actually smell him.
  50. 2/8
  52. >The departure from your apartment building was only met with one incident.
  53. >Fortunately for you, it was just the monster falling down the stairs.
  54. >Unfortunately for you, Joe couldn't see it and just shook his head about your laughter.
  55. >Not sparing the crumpled heap of imaginary flesh a second glance, the two of you exit the building, eager to accomplish today's mission.
  56. >According to the paper from Paper Pusher, Dr. Dippy McGraw's office should be near the market district.
  57. >"He's near the market district?" Joe asks, staring at the paper.
  58. "I've got a real bad feeling about this, Joe."
  59. >"Chin up Shiner, he wouldn't be in the castle's records if there wasn't some sort of credit to his talent."
  60. "But who puts their office next to the market district? It's... beyond odd to say the least."
  61. >Joe just greets the back of your head with a hoof, thankfully not too hard, and chuckles.
  62. >The look on his face tells you the two of you are better off just checking this doc out.
  63. >No sense in going back and forth about it any further anyway, so you and your ever reliable pal head off down the street.
  64. >You're about to turn a corner when you think you catch something in the corner of your eye.
  65. >Coming to a stop, you check the nearby alley where you think you saw it.
  66. >"Something the matter, Shiner?" He's looking in the same direction you are.
  67. "I could have sworn I saw somep0ny over there in that alley."
  68. >"Another hallucination?"
  69. "Joe," you sigh, "the hallucinations are always in my face. They make themselves known like they want me to notice them."
  70. 3/8
  72. >"I don't see anything over there now. Come on, we're burning daylight here," he nudges you with his head.
  73. "I know I saw something," you mutter under your breath as you give in to Joe's direction.
  74. >Oh joy, the monster finally caught up. That trip down the stairs would look like a nice improvement if he didn't have the benefit of being a hallucination.
  75. >You wish you could hate him out of existence for what he puts you through.
  76. >Why does he get to fall down stairs and walk away like it never happened?
  77. >Wait, why are you questioning the logic of a hallucination out to break you?
  78. >That doesn't get anymore thought as another shadow in a different alleyway gets your attention.
  79. "Joe," you stop him with a hoof, "did you see that?"
  80. >"Another 'something' in the alley, Shiner?" He doesn't sound amused.
  81. "I'm serious. I know I saw something this time," you reply, walking towards the alleyway.
  82. >Joe sighs before following you over, but not without mumbling in an annoyed fashion.
  83. >When the two of you reach the alley, a strange sight is all you find.
  84. >A box with what appears to be eye holes faces you, plus it also keeps shifting ever so slightly.
  85. "H-Hello?" you ask it.
  86. >The box jitters for a second.
  87. >Joe walks up and stares at the box.
  88. >"That is the weirdest lookin box I've ever seen. It looks so out of place."
  89. >The box jitters even more, and you both look at each other.
  90. >A silent understanding is reached between you; somep0ny is in that box, and you're going to flush em out.
  91. 4/8
  93. >The two of you are about to turn around before you quickly spin and jump the box.
  94. >Whoever was under that box doesn't seem to skip a beat as a bright flash blinds you.
  95. >As soon as your vision clears, you make out what appeared to be a pony disappearing into the shadows of the alley.
  96. >"That armor..." Joe trails off, stepping forward a little.
  97. "Armor?" you don't look towards him.
  98. >"That was Lunar Guard armor. I'm sure of it."
  99. "Lunar guard...," you look down for a moment before coming to a realization, "do you think they're after Running Gag and we messed up their stakeout?"
  100. >"A stakeout like that?" Joe cocks an eyebrow at you.
  101. "When have you ever seen the Lunar Guard at work in such a way?"
  102. >"If that's the case, we should get outta here then. Running Gag could still be looking for you, and we're probably getting in the way of the Guard."
  103. "Right," you respond, sparing the alley one last glance before leaving.
  104. >Could the Lunar Guard really be out in the city looking for Running Gag?
  105. >The Royal Guard doesn't seem to be on alert, even their normal patrols seem to be just that: normal.
  106. >You decide to see what Joe thinks of the situation.
  107. "Shouldn't the Royal Guard be on alert if Running Gag is about?" you ask, continuing to keep pace.
  108. >"They may very well be on alert. I saw a four pegasi group fly over the city this morning. They usually only fly in groups of three, but that could have been a trainee."
  109. 5/8
  111. >You're about to respond when your day just gets a little weirder.
  112. >The feeling that you're being watched increases more and more down this particular street.
  113. >Yeah, it's a crowded street, but it feels like eyes are bearing down the back of your head.
  114. >Turning to look, you spot a pony wearing a dark cloak following a safe distance behind you.
  115. >Other ponies are giving this one a wide birth as he continues to follow you.
  116. >They actually part, stop to gawk, and watch him continue on.
  117. >He seems oblivious to the fact everyp0ny in the street is staring at him, even you.
  118. >He's especially unaware that you and Joe have stopped to watch him since he just bumped into you.
  119. >Pulling back his hood a little, he looks up into your eyes, and you can see the panic settling in.
  120. "Is there a reason you're walking down the street with a cloak like that in broad daylight?" you ask with an accusing gaze.
  121. >"Uhhh," is all the frightened stallion can say before another voice gets your attention.
  122. >"You there. Trainee," the voice calls as you glance over.
  123. >It's that white unicorn mare from last night!
  124. >You and the stallion audibly gulp, but Joe and the monster appear to be checking her out.
  125. >Well, the monster is making it clear that he's checking out the mare, but Joe is a lot more subtle about it.
  126. >She looks both dangerous and friendly at the same time if that was possible.
  127. >The gleam in her eye also makes you think she knows how to press buttons.
  128. >She didn't have this kind of appearance last night, but you didn't get a good look at her at the time.
  129. >The monster made sure of that last part.
  130. 6/8
  132. >"Trainee," the mare holds a hoof to the stallion's chin, "I commend you for staying on target, but you seem to have forgotten the part where you were supposed to remain hidden."
  133. >A chill rockets through all of the stallions present.
  134. >Her tone at the end sparked fear through all of you. Almost as if this trainee wouldn't be seeing the outside of the latrines again.
  135. >You look at the poor trainee, and he appears to be ready to relieve his bladder here in the street.
  136. >Could you blame him? This mare is giving off an intensely dangerous vibe right now.
  137. >"I-I'm sorry Ma'am," the trainee stutters, "we've o-only had night t-training."
  138. >The mare's chilling smile turns sour, and both you and Joe back up a bit.
  139. >LGM:"And somehow you thought using those tactics would be okay in the daytime?"
  140. >The trainee begins to attempt sputtering a response, but the mare continues.
  141. >LGM:"Listen up, and listen carefully, Trainee."
  142. >He nods as it's the only option she is giving him.
  143. >LGM:"You're going back to the castle, and you're going to explain what you just did to the cap. Understood?"
  144. >That order was laced with the most poisonous venom you've ever heard.
  145. >To his credit, he doesn't wet himself, but he does salute and take off like his tail was on fire.
  146. >The entire crowd that watched this unfold quickly goes back to their business when the mare looks around.
  147. >Nop0ny wants a piece of what she just gave that trainee and with good reason.
  148. >"So, Spit Shine was it?" the mare turns her attention to you and Joe.
  149. 7/8
  151. "Uh," you gulp again, "yeah?"
  152. >She approaches the two of you before Joe decides to speak up.
  153. >J:"Care to explain what's going on Lieutenant..." he trails off as if asking for her name.
  154. >Oh, he's real good. Wait, Lieutenant? She's wearing what appears to be standard issue armor.
  155. >LGM:"You've got quite the eye Doughnut Joe. What gave me away?"
  156. >J:"Only captains of the guard wear different armor. The way that trainee reacted, the armor you're wearing, and the fact you're out here so casually. I also assume you were the one who met Shiner last night at that warehouse. A case like that wouldn't pair a captain and anyp0ny else but one of his lieutenants together. Now, if you could identify yourself and tell us why that trainee was following Shiner here, that would be lovely."
  157. >This is why you don't mess with Joe. You and the monster can only stare wide eyed at him.
  158. >The mare isn't phased one bit though, and she doesn't seem offended.
  159. >LGM:"My name huh? I suppose that would be fair, but I can't tell you what the guard is up to. Princess's orders."
  160. >J:"Fair enough. I'd trust that the princess would have a very good reason."
  161. >The two are staring each other down like it was a competition. Her almost sadistic looking smile and his no-nonsense glare duke it out before your eyes.
  162. >LGM:"Very well, my name is Ivory Shines, Second Lieutenant of the Lunar Guard."
  163. 8/8
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