Thread 83: Stories 46-59

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NCFE

>???
“???”
‘Pinkie’
~~~~

‘And heeeeeeere we arrrrrrre, folks! It’s the showdown you didn’t know you always wanted…thaaaaat just so happens to take place in the very spot that got nowhere near the amount of time it should have given all the crazy stuff that could have went down!’

A series of overhead lights were ignited, illuminating what looked like the grungy, wet space of a hospital bathroom of sorts, specifically the place where they take the crazies to mercilessly raze them with hose water.

Except this area was wider, far wider, and surrounded by equally grungy bathroom stalls filled with screaming, shouting, frothing mental patients, each and every one of them outfitted in a straightjacket. Because safety.

In the very middle of that pit of insanity stood two figures. The one on the left was smiling as though she had found home again. The one on the right was busy trying to gain proper footing over the slick tiles.

From far above, dangling upside down by a piece of rope, the other end of which was connected to seemingly nothing but the darkness of an unseeable ceiling, was Pinkie Pie, mic in hoof.

‘Hey, everypony! Don’t even ask how I got up here--long story, don’t got the time--so moooooving on past, allow me to introduce today’s contestants for the Non-Canon Fights of Equestria! …Or the NCFE, trademark! I’d give an explanation of what these are and the rules thereof but those are boring as snot and I’m already drained from working overtime with my Late-Night show! You’re smart, you’ll figure it out as we go on! So first off, in the left corner, with both a mane and moral conscious the color gray, SCREEEEEWLOOOOOSE!’

As a host of foaming mouths roared out their approval, half the lights focused in on the mare wearing a crimson-splattered lab coat.

She smirked at her rabid fans, running a hoof over her ever-tussled mane.

>If any of you out there are feeling a little froggy, I implore you, don’t hesitate to jump. I’ll be more than happy to relieve you of a few organs.

The noise level dropped considerably following her words and several heads ducked down behind stall doors.

From on high, Pinkie giggle-snorted as she slowly revolved.

‘That mare’s got a way with words, don’t she, folks? Alright, alright, onto the next challenger! With the body of swiss cheese and a fetish to please, I give you APPLEJACK TWEEEEELLLLLVE!’

The called changeling probably would have lifted an acknowledging hoof to the fresh wave of yells were he not still focused on steadying himself.

“Alllmost… alllmost got i--DAMN!”

There was no shortage of laughter when Twelve’s forelegs crossed and his chin kissed the ground.

If the display weren’t so pathetic, Screwloose might have laughed.

>…C’mon, perv. Really?

“J-just give me a second….”

>A second what? A second cut? Why certainly!

From within her wholly decorative cloak, Screwloose pulled free a scalpel.

>Now then, my delicious, chitinous morsel… where would you like the first incision? Across the jugular? Or over the thigh perhaps? Mmmmm, the patterns I could weave through your thick… hard… outer shell.

A slick, pink tongue dangled from between her lips as her cheeks ignited in a heated blush.

One that Twelve did not share in the slightest. In fact, he gulped quite audibly, finally managing to stand upright.

“…Just can’t be satisfied with a hoof massage? Call it a day? Course not….”

Somehow managing to regain her decorum in the midst of slurping her tongue back into place, Screwloose fixed her number one assistant with a predatorial smirk.

>You knew I was the high-maintenance type when you first met me, perv. Buuuuut, tell you what… if you manage to beat me today, which you won’t, but on the off chance you do… you know these sexy little hooves you adore so much?

As Pinkie hung above the arena, struggling to loosen the microphone cord that somehow managed to wrap itself around her throat, Twelve lifted his head, silent and listening.

>You can do whatever your perverted heart desires with them for a full day.

A pair of changeling wings flapped.

>And that of course includes the mare attached to them because I figure once you start on my hooves you’ll probably want to sample the rest of this specimen before you.

While the surrounding crowd of demented ponies began to start up again with growls and excited yells, the look that adorned Twelve’s face would suggest he’d taken lessons from Forty-Two.

There was no emotion there, neither of excitement or dread. He was a blank slate, and the intensity of his gaze only increased the blush of that maniacal mare.

>Well, well… someone’s certainly geared up….

Her response was that of Pinkie Pie, gasping into the mic as she finally untangled herself.

‘Guh! Haaaa, haaaa, s-sorry about that, folks! Cord came alive and tried to take me out for some reason! Note to self, inject frosting into all of Discord’s orifices… but mooooving on to the main event!’

The lights went crazy.

Pinkie inhaled.

‘Contestants! Are! You! READY?!’

Screwloose nodded, placing the handle of her scalpel in her mouth, biting down hard.

>Mmmmhm!

Across from her, Twelve tossed his head side to side.

“Ready.”

Pinkies voice resonated into every ear, every nook and cranny of the hospital-themed stage.

‘THEN FIGH-’

A bolt of green magic flashed across the arena and the weapon in Screwloose’s mouth went whizzing through the air, clattering to the ground far out of reach.

Impossibly, silence reigned as Screwloose glanced over her shoulder, then forward again.

>…Huh.

The sickly green aura of a changeling was buzzing about Twelve’s horn.

He was approaching with a calm gait, clearly cautious yet undeniably confident.

“Lasers against knifes. Sounds like a fun little contest, don’t it, Screws?”

What caused Twelve to suddenly pause wasn’t when she shivered at her nickname, but when she flared open the right side of her coat.

Rows upon rows of insanely sharp medical instruments glinted back at him for only a second before she retrieved a pair of dissection scissors.

“…Huh.”

>Oooooooh yes… yes yes yes! I can feel it already… we’re going to stain this floor a pretty red and green, aren’t we, pervert? Oh yes we are, it’ll be our own twisted version of Hearth’s Warming!

To that, Twelve offered a chuckle, his wings beginning to flutter.

“Tick tock, the screws are loose….”

>…Stealing my lines now? Oho, that’s three snips, pervert.~

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>Guard 1
"Guard 2"
'Loiterer'

>So this guy...

"Yep."

>He's just...sitting there.

"Yyyyep."

>Is this loitering? I think this is loitering.

"Might be loitering. Hey buddy, are you loitering?"

'Nope.'

"No, you say that, but you'd totally say that if you were."

>Then why'd you ask?

"I dunno, thought it'd be the best course of action."

>Wait a minute, I know you, don't I?

'Maybe.'

>No, no yeah, I do. You were one of the guys from the weird secret lab in the mountain!

"No shit? He uh...he doesn't look like a scientist. Was he a merc?"

>Cold.

"Uhhh...an engineer?"

>Icy.

"What? Delivery boy?"

>Warmer.

"...janitor?"

>Bingo. 'Course the Princesses were debating mind scanning this sap, but then what's his face that's banging the crazy lady vouched for him. Said he'd seen him clean up a time or two and he was just a janitor, and a bit slow in the head too.

"No kidding. Hey, sorry dude...what're you still doing in Canterlot, anyway?"

'Workin'. Cleanin'.'

"You're not on the list of guys we're keeping in the city until their cases get resolved, don't you have a family?"

'Nope.'

"Friends?"

'Nope.'

>...depressing. We'll uh...we'll leave you alone.

'Thanks.'

The two guards leave the navy blue pegasus sitting. The pegasus yawns, checks his watch, then begins walking towards his next cleaning shift.

Coltsly Security Solutions.

It was the closest he was going to get to his old life, he promised himself that when he and 12 had parted ways...

Snake Eyes died in that mountain hell.

He had to be something else entirely if he wanted to survive...

>Hey pal, you got a name?

'Scruffy.'

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 >Dash
"Twilight"
'???'
~~~

"Really? You're doing this now?... Kind of inappropriate timing, isn't it?"

>Hey! You guys are the ones who want me to do my paperwork more often. Besides, Shining Armor said I could use this room.

"No he didn't, none of us have spoken to him since he left. You are lying to me."

>He said it at one point in time, I just carried it over.

"That absolutely does not count."

>Oh, just go back to examine the zombie.

"She's not a..."

>...

"...No. I will not get into a semantics argument with you. HRMPH!"

SLAM!

>...Whatever you say, Rarity. Now... leeet's see, absentee paper, absentee paper, absentee... how many of these do I get off a year? I've used up a lot... meh, I'm probably fine. Now!... How'd Eighteen say to do it......

The music started slow, easy, melodic, coming from a hidden player she had 'borrowed' from the mare mentioned. A soft, pleasant melody to begin. It was... soothing, to say the least.

>Bum buuuum bum bum... buuuuum bum bumm.. buuuuuum... words I don't knoowwwwwww.....

She lifted the papers above her head with one hoof, a stamp with her signature in the other, and...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RLPG88u3lM
SLAM!
>BUM BUM BUM BA DA DA DA DAAA BUM BUM BUM BA DA DA DAAAAAAAA!

With every crescendo, it came down, her eyes barely scanning the paper before she stamped it.

>BUN *SLAM* BUN *SLAM* NUNUH *SLAM* BUM BUM *SLAM* BUM BUM BUM BU DUH DUH *SLAM* *SLAM* *SLAM* BUM BADNUH DUN DUH! BUM DUB DUN DUH DUN DAH D.. d-da....

'...'

>...

'...Ya'll listen ta' classical music when ya' do paperwork?'

>IT MAKES EVERYTHING SEEM COOL WHEN YOU DO IT, EVEN STUPID STUFF!

'Ain't complainin, just didn't figure ya' the type fer classical music, what with it being so fancy and all-'

>OUT!

'Ah'm not judgin'-'

>OUTOUTOUTOUTOUT!

'Fine... think ya' know a mare...'

>.......If she blabs, I'll never live it down.

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>Rarity
"Twilight"
'Pinkie'
[Spike]
{Dash}
~Applejack~
-Sunset-
(Fluttershy)
=???=
~~~~~~

-You know, most patients are put under before their hearts are exposed...-

"Fascinating! The conversion rate on love to energy is actually rather astounding, I never noticed before... you know if we could harness this more properly, we could probably-"

CRASH!

"...."

=Package for Miss Rarity=

>How the devil did you find me over here!?

=Funny story, I was actually headed for Canterlot and took a wrong turn, lucky me!=

>...Yes... lucky you.

=Sign here... thank you!=

CRASH!

[...Why did she go through the unbroken window...]

{More to the point, what the heck is that thing?}

'It looks like a reeeeeeally big tube!... Wow, Rarity, practicing for when Spike goes huge yet or wha-'

SMACK!

'Worth it!'

>Ohhh, that ninny, I wanted to wait for hearth's warming... sigh, suppose there's no point in hiding it now, she clearly-

"I SAW NOTHING!"

>Twilight, you don't have to pretend.

"NOTHING! Did NOT see a giant casing of rare crystal-blended liquid nitrogen!"

>...

"...EEEE!"

>Now don't you be disappointed during hearths warming!

"EEEEE!"

'And this is good becccaaauuuuusseee...'

{Nerd stuff, probably.}

-Oh wow, that's a bit... extravagant for a gift, isn't it?-

>What? Oh no, I got it for a bargain.

-Oh, phew...-

>Two for the price of one!... Which admittedly was still rather expensive.

~Wait a minute, how expensive are we talkin'?~

>...Well, uh... you remember how much it cost to renovate the ballroom for the gala?

~....~

>...Little higher than that.

'RARITY! WHAT THE HELL!?'

{Yeah! What, does this mean you didn't have enough for our gifts!?}

[DASH!]

{Just saying.}

>What? Oh no! I would feel terrible if I did that! Your gifts are around the same range.

'...RARITY, WHAT THE HELL!?'


{Yeah, now I feel SUPER cheap!}

'I'm supposed to be the one who spends way too much on stuff and has to deal with worrying debt that I mask with parties!'

~...Ah' actually feel kinda cheap too, barely even spent sixty bits total on all ya'll.~

>It's not a-.... seriously!? What did you buy me, a shiny apple?

~Rar, that's silly... Ah' ain't gotta buy apples.~

{Well... crap! Now I've got to go change my gift to something bigger!}

'Me too, for everyone!'

>It's not a race!... Though I admit I don't mind if you buy me something rather... extravagant.

[Greeeeeaaaatt.... now I've got to break into my piggy bank just to compete.]

(Um... can I just... I'm just going to make stuff like every year, is that-)

"Guys! It's not the pricetag that counts! It's what the gift means!"

>But price tag is still good.

"For example! This MEANS I can now do my chillpickle experiment!"

>'[{(-~.........~-)}]'

-Please explain that.-

"Gladly! I use a pickle, freeze it with this crystalized liquid nitrogen, shatter it into a million pieces, alter the chemical bonds while they're still frozen, thaw it out, and then I can make an oil that can cure pruning!... you know, when your hoof gets in the water too long and then... look, it's important for older ponies! This could revolutionize anti-wrinkle technology!"

>'[{(-~.........OOOOOOoooohhhhhhhh~-)}]'

"What?"

(Er, Twilight? I don't get out much, but even I know a chill pickle is...)

"..."

(...just rename it.)

'NO MATTER! Rarity, the gauntlet has been thrown down, and the GIFT WAR IS ON!'

"Or we could not. We could always just listen to Twilight. Hey! Let's try that! Let's listen to Twilight and see if that works! We can do this team!"

{IT'S ON!}

[BRING IT!]

"...Sigh."

>...I have no regrets...

-....So is this normal-

>'"[{(~YES!~-)}]'"

-....Can I just go back to the-

>'"[{(~NO!~-)}]'"

-Crap.-

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>Twilight
"Fluttershy"
~~~

>...So... so a chill pickle is-

"Yes."

>You make a pickle really cold... and stick it up your-

"Yes."

>...And this makes you less mad?

"I've never tried it, but that's the legend."

>...

"...You're thinking about it, aren't you?"

>There's conflicting science. On the one hoof, lower body temperatures do sometimes lead to reduced anger in ponies, and this would in fact lower them more than simply ingesting the pickle. On the other... that kind of sound like it would hurt.

"It might."

>...

"You're still thinking about it, aren't you?"

>I have been dealing with a LOT of stress here recently.

"..."

>...

"...I notice your hoof inching towards the container."

>...I uh... I have to use the bathroom.

"...Sigh."

~~~~~~Minutes later~~~~~~

>THAT DIDN'T WORK AT ALL!

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 >Pommel
"Guards"
~~~~

>Hey guys!

"Well, someone sounds peppy and excited."

>Heh, mare like Daw will do that to you... and a lot of other things.

"OHHHHH!"

>So, princess already left?

"..."

>...What?

"Uh... we thought you went with her."

>Nah, accidentally overslept. Why? Did I miss anything?

"..."

>...What?

"..."

>...I'm fired, aren't I?

"..."

>...Hope Rat has an opening...

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~~~

Oh, he felt ever-so marvelous! Free as a bird's song that wafts across the rooftops and gardens of a shanty little town, he soared through the sky, doing turns and flips. Chaos was spreading like a whisper in the wind. Barely audible, a siren's song few knew how to attune themselves to. But what starts as whispers shall grow into a chant, and a chant eventually a choir. The cacophony of disarray and confusion was growing, and while he had a a hand and talon it, those who sought to press the law of order and restrictions upon this world were none the wiser.

Moments passed. Seconds, minutes, eons? It didn't matter. He was all and nothing at once, past, present, future. He knew, and his shining works gleamed in the advent of the sun's all-seeing eye. Laughter spilled form his maw, and a passing bird became a cloud, then a breeze, then a bird once again. It welled up deep from his chest, spilled fort and suffused the world with his mesmerizing tune.

The world tilted, then shifted. Down below, another pawn moved across the chequered playing field. He had no concept of order or plan, no conscious idea tactic. All he knew was an ever-shifting goal he tried tor each for, but never wanted to grasp.

Discord was... himself!

At long last, free, and himself, without disrupting the entirety of the world. Well, maybe just a little tale of terror and story of broken hearts here and there. Nothing but hearsay a ruler would pay no mind to.

One eye cast tot he ground, one towards his inner self. But what his third to fifth eye saw up in the endless expanse of the sky brought his and his song to a sudden halt. Up above, in the vast expanse of nothingness and everything that was the encroaching cold of the night, there was something afoot.

The false stars were shifting. As ominous and rare an event that was for those aware of the sky and its hushed promises, he knew this was no act of the lunar princess. No. The Faust, the eldest of his former companions was the name that sprung to his discordant mind.

Had judgment finally hatched from the egg of strife he had laid? He didn't look too closely, for the eye-hurting absence of chaos up above would draw him in and never let him go, he knew. Three stars of the six-numbered constellation to the left and two of the right winked out, and Discord repressed a shudder. The sign was clear, even to him. The remaining flares of brilliant light were piercing the sky and illuminating him like the furious gaze of an ancient anger.

His dice had been cast.

~~~

Somehwere, across the continent, hardly noticed among smaller blessing and curses, a Changeling Queen and her offspring reunited lost their shared burden of being among the lost and unfortunate.

Judgement had been passed, more souls awaited their fate.

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>Chrysalis
"Applejack"
~~~~

She hadn't really wanted to see anyone right now.

She was two parts anticipatory for all the wonders and majesty she could behold with that orb's information, one part thoughtful as to the possible backlash and negative effects of it, and six parts just plain tired and beaten. She had been through hell today.

"Hey..."

And that was not helping.

>...Applejack.

The pony at the end of the hall was quite expressionless, trying to show very little of what she had inside.

For, indeed, she had a lot inside of her right now.

"...Just wanted ta' apologize fer' knockin' yer' teeth in."

Some part of that just made her want to laugh.

>HAH! Like you could actually hurt me that bad.

"...fine. Just wanted ta' apologize anyway."

>Pfft, whatever, mind controlling super orbs will do that to you... or not mind controlling, I don't know what the fuck that thing does yet. But, point is, probably not you.

"...Probably mostly not me ya' mean."

>Your words, not mine.

A breath let out did nothing to calm the orange princess, nor did it make what she was about to say any easier to stomach.

"...Ah'm sorry, but Ah' gotta know."

>Yes, you do in fact hit like a filly. I am so sorry I had to be the one to tell you this.

"Chrysalis... Ah'm gonna need ya' ta' be serious fer' a solid minute here, just give me a minute o' you takin' this seriously."

A booming cackle shook the crystal castle, rattling the halls to their very core.

>Oh, Applejack... you wouldn't like me when I'm serious.

Her voice had taken on a sharp, razor like edge in the last few words, obvious spite from earlier slipping in to her cool, calculated speech. Her eyes became odd slits in some combination of magic and ferocity, and she took on the appearance of a snake willing to strike.

"Ah' don't like ya' now."

>HAH!

It was gone just as quickly as it had come, diffused by the barb shot back as easily as if she had tossed a fuse into the ocean.

But she wasn't done yet.

"Chrysalis, please.... Ah'm actually sayin' please here, Ah' gotta know."

>...Oh? And what, dear sweet little Applejack, is it that you must know?

She took a deep, steadying breath, holding it in for a long, long time before she let it back out. Her hoof twitched, seemingly eager to move, move to anywhere but here. But she stayed still.

"...Did ya'll really kill someone?"

They would swear, both of them in unison, that the shield outside had dropped again, and a winter cold was sweeping through the room at this very moment.

>Hm?

"Now ain't the time, Chrysalis, Ah' gotta know iffin' ya' really did. Ah' know what Ah' said when that thing was in mah hooves, but Ah' ain't gotta clue why Ah' said it or what it meant. Some words are fuzzy, but Ah' remember... Ah' called ya' a murderer. Ya'll gotta tell me, right now... did you? Was that... right? Or was that just somethin' that there crazy thing put in mah' head and Ah' didn't give it no thought?"

She remained surprisingly unfazed, despite the harsh glare the princess gave her. The Queen of the changelings at this moment could have well have been asked of the weather, or a particular thought of the trees this day for all it meant to her. Internally, Applejack knew it was just her being her own buggy self, no different than she had ever been...

But it still unsettled her something fierce, now more than ever.

>...and if I have? If, by some strange chance, I have at one point had to take a life, what then? Will you try to arrest me? Expose me? Call for my imprisonment or my banishment? Oh, what oh what, Applejack, will you do?

"Ah'll never trust you."

Simply put, simply stated, nothing more noting less. No need to fluff it out with the why's, no need to explain any further. That was that.

>...Fine.

Just as simply stated, just as simply put, as much a nothing as before, no less a nothing than had been.

"...So, that's it? We're just gonna go right back ta' square one?"

>Your fault, not mine.


She scoffed, frustration taking over and threatening to set her off any moment now.

"Course it is. Everyone's fault but yer' own. Just cause Ah' wanna know-"

>My secrets, I know. And yet, it's always one way with me, isn't it? You want to know about me, I never get to know about yours.

That scoff before was nothing compared to this next one. It was the difference between a firework and a volcano.

"That's cause Ah' ain't got secrets, ya' gaddang bug monster."

>Oh, reallllly?

If there was one thing in life Applejack despised more than anything, it was that damned coy voice.

She wished she could punch sound. She would do it, if she could.

>Fine then. Tell me how you ascended to an Alicorn.

The way she asked it was strange, Applejack thought. It was almost... goading. Like she already knew the answer and felt she had somehow entrapped her in a snare by simply speaking these words. She was speaking as though she had won, just by asking that question.

In hindsight, she saw the issue. It probably wasn't good if Chrysalis had the knowledge that Celestia held the secret to Ascension in her mind. Considering what she had done when she had 'slipped' before...

She very much doubted Chrysalis would have the 'restraint' that Celestia had.

"...Fine, fair enough, ya' win. Ah' don't trust you, ya' don't trust me, whatever. Guess we're just gonna... do this all over again."

She felt so defeated right there. As if a long won victory had collapsed right before her very eyes. As if a beacon of light, of hope, had been cruelly snuffed out.

>...Fine. Not like it was going to work anyway.

They both turned around, both heading in the opposite direction from one another, and began to walk.

Despite their size difference, every clop of their hooves was oddly in sync. Every step matched as they went further and further away...

Step.
Step.
Step.
Step.
Step...

>... You know, you mentioned you had a cool mom too... what was your dad like?

...Silence.

Utter, complete, total silence. No movement, no sound. Silence.

"...He was onna the biggest ponies Ah' ever saw... might be rememberin' him wrong because Ah' was so small at the time, but Ah' remember him bein' big and strong. He had muscles that could probably tear a dang tree right outta' their roots and hurl it cross the world... think Big Mac takes more after him than mah' Mom. But he was... he was real gentle, ya' know? He had ta' be. Had ta' be strong enough ta' till but gentle enough ta' put the seeds in just right... and he was the nicest, sweetest pony ya' ever were gonna find. He loved... he loved bakin'. Think he got it from Granny, but... but he really loved bakin' him some sweet apple fritters."

Her chest had started to hurt the more she talked. Inwardly, she felt the need to clamp down on her head, as if to shield it again from the changeling Queen beyond.

Every time she tried to speak again, she found her throat swelling up, shutting down before she could. So, defeated, she instead had to switch to a more... speakable line.

"...What about you? Yer' dad a pretty good fella?"

>...Nope.

That line, how bluntly, how harshly it was said...

It was finally enough that she could turn around, and look to the Queen once more.

She wondered, exactly... how long the Queen herself had been looking to her.

>My dad sucked. Weak little guy, yelled a lot, and he would break out into a monologue waaaay too much. You know? How the fuck is a four year old suppose to follow a monologue? What, was I going to write down 'oh damnable she devil who took my wife' this and 'spawn of tartarus that needs to burn' that so I could review it later? And talk about pathetic, you know you suck when you lose in a fight to an unarmed four year old when you've got a sword and a torch on your side. That guy? That guy could go fuck himself, he sucked. Only good part about that day was that me and my mom could team up for the first time... my mom was awesome.

She had to really think about it. Really read between the lines, listen in to everything she said, to get the whole picture. She still didn't have it, not even close to the whole picture... but she had enough.

"So ya' killed him."

>...Technically my mom did, I just blew a hole in him when he came at me. My mom finished him off, I just did the first part. Teamwork, works out great when your teammate is as badass as she was.

She had gestured, seemingly totally subconsciously, when she had said 'blew a hole', and she had pointed right into her chest, right at a very particular spot, and moved away before she had even noticed she had moved.

A very particular spot that, while Applejack was no doctor, she knew... was not one that needed a 'second part' if indeed she had blown a hole in him there.

If, indeed, that was the spot... was long past the point when 'teamwork' would have mattered.

"Do ya'... regret it?"

>Nope.

One would think it would be impossible to bubble down the nuance of such an action to a simple 'nope', but as always Chrysalis defied expectations.

"...Not even a little?"

>No? Why would I? Either I shoot right there, or he stabs me. You think I want to get stabbed? I was four, that stab scar would have followed me on forever.

"But... Ah' mean, ya' didn't want it to happen, did ya'?"

>Pfft, no! Obviously not! If I did, why the fuck would I have revealed myself and gone to talk to him when he tracked us down like the stupid shit I was?...Rephrasing, the ignorant shit I was. Mom's fault for not telling me he was that pathetic. Would've preferred if he took my mom up on her offer, but eh. His fault. I'm not getting stabbed over that. Wasn't my fault he tried to stab me, would've been my fault if I had let him.

It was... troublingly hard to argue with that logic, especially considering the age at which such a heavy choice had been made.

Yet, she had to admit... she didn't feel quite as on edge as she had before.

>...Cool that yours wasn't like that, though. Would've liked that, my mom couldn't bake for shit. Had a changeling who could bake once, but he died when mom tried to get a treasure underground.

"Yeah... he was pretty great."

>...My mom could beat a hydra. No joke, she actually beat a hydra once! After giving birth! While low on love! It was fucking amazing!

"How do ya' know that?"

>She showed me. Damn, it was cool. Your mom ever do anything like that?

"Ah'... nope. Was more about assurin' me there weren't no monsters under the bed than like... actually fightin' 'em."

>HAH! My mom was cooler.

"BALONEY! Mah' mom could hogtie three steers at once, blindfolded!"

>My mom could out swordfight a swordfighter!

"Mah' mom could buck a whole orchard by herself! Solo! After givin' birth!"

>My mom could beat an army after giving birth! Solo! After beating the hydra!

"Ah'm callin' bullhonkey on that one!"

>Oh yeah!? Ask Chitania, she'll back me up! She was there!

"Fine, Ah' will!"

>Fine!

"Fine!"

>"FINE!"

>...

"..."

>...My mom was prettier.

"Ya'll don't even know what mine looks like!"

>You ponies all look the same anyway! Like you're all built on the same stock body!

"RACIST!"

>...

"...Oh wow, that felt weird commin' from me."

>...

"My mom could beat yer mom."

>NU-UH!

"In a bakin' contest."

>...fuck you.

"HA!"

>Don't you HAH! me! I'm the only one who can HAH! around here!

"Pffft."

>Infragment!

"Infringement."

>STOP MAKING UP WORDS!

"..."

>...

"...Thanks fer' not wipin' out Sunset... twice."

>Three times if you count the fight.

"Ah'd don't."

>...Pffft.

"Yep."

And then they left.

Just turned around, and left.

Maybe they didn't want to ruin a good thing, maybe they just weren't sure what to do next. All they knew is that, right there, that moment... was a good time to leave.

There was no rush, no animosity, yet no 'goodbye' or 'have a good one' either.

They just... left.

And for once... it didn't feel like it had before.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

~~~~~~

"It's time."

The call to assembly had been short. Little more than those two short words were needed, and they had all been gathered. The Elements, the princesses, the Queen, and of course the Prince and Princess.

They had all spent a bit 'getting ready' so to speak, which is to say they all spent a lot of time making sure they didn't look like they had just come from an all out brawl.

They had time. Gathering the Empire citizens together had taken a lot of it, after all. Not easy to gather a whole city together in one place. So, they had taken it to brush down coats, make them look nice and shiny, and just generally do their best to look at least presentable before they had taken their place.

On a massive stage, normally used for ceremony, the prince, princess and Queen stood in the center, with all the various others from Canterlot off to the side, merely reduced to spectators at this time. This was important, vital even, that they be seen like this, both to show Empire independence and to show that they were not connected, nor should be blamed along with, the mare sitting between the three. They, along with the others of the Empire like Two, Eighteen, Forty Two, Sombra, and Mane-iac, had to be content to merely watch, not engage... no matter how much they wanted to, and it tore them up inside to be forced to sit like that.

For her part, Sunset had remained stoic, trying not to make any sign she still posed a threat of any kind as she was placed close to them, awaiting this, her final judgement. The prince, after speaking to her further, had give no sign of what said verdict would be, not body language nor telling words, but she felt it was not going to go well for her.

Yet, she could not see any other way for it to end, and along with it, she did not feel she deserved any less. A second time she had lied, bitten off more than she could chew and failed, and this was her final punishment.

She deserved it.

"Thank you all for gathering here today."

The Prince's booming voice called all from their own thoughts, be they the royals lost in melancholy or the subjects mixed with fear and confusion.

He made a show of looking to his wife, of seeming to pass information between her and he with nothing but a look, and seeking assurances before he continued. In reality, she too was as in the dark as all as to what was to come, her own uncertainty having been strong enough that even after the choice was made, she dare not ask. She did not wish to know, trusting him completely to make the right call... and not trusting herself enough that she could keep that call as it should be.

The show came to a close with her assuring nod, seeming to all looking on that he was granted permission to take this. Perhaps it was a bit old fashioned to imply he needed to wait for her due to her being a 'higher' being, but he hoped they would take it more as it should be, that it was two beings who loved and trusted each other assuring one another.

Regardless, his assurance granted, he began to speak.

"As you all know, one month ago, we faced a terrible disaster. A being of great size and power razed our city, and tore most of it to the ground. It was only through our unison, to ourselves and our new neighbors combined, that tragedy did not take hold, and we would not be prefacing today to mourn. At long last, we can finally tell you what, exactly, happened that day."

They waited with bated breath as he shuffled Sunset forwards, displaying her for all the Empire to see.

"This mare is named Sunset Shimmer. A long time ago, she was the student of Princess Celestia. Shortly ago, she was made student to Princess Applejack. One month ago... you knew her as the monster destroying your homes."

They gasped, shuffling away in fear from her, only to stop by the stern white hoof that reached out to them.

"We now know exactly what transpired. One month ago, she attempted to find the secrets of changeling magic. She sought out their information and knowledge, and hoped to use an artifact called a dreamstone to this end. Something went wrong, terribly wrong... and instead, she summoned the soul of a past Changeling Queen to this plain, a Changeling Queen of great power... and great evil. This Changeling Queen is, in fact, the one who caused the destruction. Sunset Shimmer had been taken over by the time it happened, completely locked into her own mind. It was only at the end, after... a-hem, after Chitania defeated her that she could take some control back... but at a terrible cost. While attempting to be rid of her, she ended up fused with the mind of the changeling, seemingly permanently. This is why she took on the warped, frightening form she did when she struck back. After that... Chrysalis? Would you mind explaining?"

The Queen stepped forwards, looking out over the crowd with a regal, burning power.

"I entered into Sunset's mind, and using my own magics I separated the entrenched remains of the Queen, my own superior mental magics allowing me to remove every trace of her, every magic, and leave behind nothing that had once been hers. Variolus, everything she had been, is now gone from the pony's mind, and she never shall return to harm any of you, ever again. We have ensured that this time... she stays dead, forever more. She was one of the worst, most terrible Queen's to have ever been... and now she'll be just a memory."

They began to let out a sigh of relief, the thought there had been any trace of her left now gone from their minds. Still, there was something unsettling to a few of them at the thought the Queen could do something like that...

What else could she remove?

"Thank you. Now, as said, that is what happened. At no point was there ever any intention on Sunset's part to cause the havoc she did. At no point did she ever attempt on anyone's life, at least not directly. At no point did she wish any dead. She sought knowledge, and it all went so wrong."

They nodded, seemingly ready to disperse. That was that, question solved, problem solved, go home.

"I wish I could say that was the end of it, but I can't. For you see... Variolus did not take her over immediately. For a day, Sunset had her in her mind, worked with her, even let her take control once. She did this, all of this, because she wished above all to take control of the secrets of the changelings, and the secret of the Titan magic Chitania and herself used to grow as big as they did. To this end... she drained several ponies of love in Catnerlot, leaving them in unconsciousness."

They gasped, if not from shock than horror, and once more shuffled back from the mare who looked away in shame.

"It is worse. In order to do all this in the first place, she had to break into the confidential medical files of the changelings held with Princess Twilight. Those files have since been deleted, but not before they could be illegally accessed without knowledge or consent. She then broke into a secure magical facility that had been closed down after one too many magical mishaps, and began her experiment in total secrecy. She, alone, attempted to access the very dreams of Queen Chrysalis here, which she only thought possible due to the stone she had hidden away in the changeling's ballroom from prior to her escape to another land. In short, she used brutal, illegal tactics to gather information, and when that information yielded a Changeling mind in her own she would rather drain ponies to gain more information than to seek help."

Again, they prepared to leave. Sounded open and shut. She had done illegal things, put her in prison for however long, problem solved.

"That would be the end of it... but there is one final thing I have not revealed to you all yet. There is one thing that changes the course of how we are deciding what is to be done.'

He nodded to her. Before the eyes of all gathered, Sunset Shimmer was consumed in flame.

"For you see, I left out exactly how this experiment went wrong. The dreamstone did not just warp her mind."

And what came out... was a monster.

"...It pierced her chest, and replaced her heart."

They screamed. More than a few of them actually screamed when they saw her, and what she had become.

"For all intents and purposes, Sunset Shimmer died that day."

And she felt every single one of those screams.

"... So, it was with this, my subjects, that myself, and my dear wife, had to debate with ourselves what was to be done. Her actions had directly harmed others, her need to know information that was not hers to take had brought about a disaster. She had lied, she had betrayed trust, she had hurt and due to the nature of that stone, she would hurt again and again if she had not been stopped... but on the other hoof, this mare had been hurt herself, she had been pushed to the brink by her own fears, she had her very mind and body used as little more than a puppet as she was forced to watch herself bring harm and near death to those down below. When debating her punishment, we had to ask, exactly, where we draw the line. She has already suffered so very, very much. Suffered as we, as ones who were controlled before... all of us, we understand. She has lost her body, she had lost her mind... she almost lost her soul. How much more could we take away from her, and still call it justice? Yet, how much could we forgive her for, and call it justice?"

This one, for once, left the crowd completely unsure. All had an opinion of course, but it was a very... muddled one.


"...We think we have come to an answer. We cannot let her off for all that she has done to us, our Empire, to be weak to those who would threaten and attack us, but we cannot be monsters who would damn a broken mare further out of spite. She made an honest mistake, a mistake driven by the need to know of a race she was unsure about, a mistake she claims was in pursuit of better lives for us, and for others. She wished to help, but was blinded by fear. She made a mistake in the pursuit of knowledge that blinded her to her crimes and her pain. She made a mistake to know, and did not care about the lives behind what she would learn... but she's not the only one who made a mistake like that, is she?"

Slowly, from off to the side, a certain lavender alicorn moved onto the stage.

"This is my sister, Twilight Sparkle... some of you may remember her vaguely, she has one of those faces."

They all weakly chuckled at the, to put it bluntly, pathetic joke about their one time savior.

"Some of you also may remember that once upon a time... she too let out a changeling Queen that caused chaos and destruction. Now, we could make excuses, such as the fact that Twilight didn't stick with her and hide her presence like Sunset, she never physically injured someone with draining like Sunset, and a million other things, we're not going to. That should not matter to the ones who's lives were hurt by Chitania's rampage. The minutia if for historians, not us. So, I ask to you all... now that it has happened to you all... would you have forgiven Twilight, had the Queen come here instead of missing us?"

A mummer swept through the crowd, low rumblings mixing together in a vague, indiscernible speech. They talked, and they debated, and they talked more for what felt like hours, and perhaps it was.

Finally, it came from them.

All of them.

Cautious in some, bombastic in others, reluctant in quite a lot, but it had come.

"Yes."

And he knew what he had to do.

"...Often times, many other nations have wondered if we put certain races above others in our culture. That, for us, merely having a wing and horn puts you apart from the others, in all aspects in life. There are two ways to judge. To judge one as a pony, and to judge one as a princess... but this line of thinking is wrong. One is not special for the power in their body, but what is in their heart. We know this, better than most. We look to all Twilight has done and forgive her for that, for we know she can be a great hero if the time should come, a great leader if called, and just a great sister all around. We forgive her for what she has done, and who she is, when she in her pursuit of knowledge brings disaster. But Sunset has not proven herself, not yet. But... that doesn't mean she can't. She has the drive to discover more, to learn more, to be more, and maybe one day she too can be a hero of some kind, no matter how small."

Her head shot up like a startled rabbit, and indeed the expression on her face was nothing less than that of pure shock and surprise.

Yet, no matter how much she wondered if she was dreaming... he just kept speaking, and proving her wrong.

"So, instead of imprisonment, instead of exile or harsh labor, we shall punish Sunset as Twilight was punished. She shall not be allowed near experiments or magic regarding changelings until such a time that Queen Chrysalis herself declares her fit. While initially Twilight swore off science of all kind in her penance, I feel her second choice is one that will be far more fitting. Sunset, you are to be supervised, and spend your days working to better the lives of ponies, all that you hurt. You shall work to improve my Empire, and all places, as a penance for bringing it low. My sister has declared she will work until ponies see a brighter future, and if you do any less you shall be cast away with the proof you do not deserve another chance. Prove yourself, in this time."

At what point her tearducts had been repaired, she did not know.

But they had to have been.

Otherwise... why would it be raining.

"As you hurt not only my subjects, but those of Canterlot, you shall be restricted to our Empire and that land until such time as myself and Celestia feel you may travel more freely. Work to better these places... and you may see the world again. If not, you never deserved its wonders at all. You shall be watched, by myself, by my sister, by Princess Celestia, and you shall be especially watched by your teacher, Princess Applejack. You shall be watched until we believe in you enough to take our gaze from you, and trust again. This is the final word of the royals of the Crystal Empire."

He looked out to them, to his subjects waiting in mass, waiting for him to speak more with that voice of determination and strength.

"Do you all feel this just? All of you, every one, were hurt. No voice that she has harmed should be silent should they feel any different. I am your prince, she is your princess, but we are here to serve you. We are two voices, you are many... what say you? Is this just?"

It came.

In a loud, explosive roar it came.

A cheer, a call.

A "Yes".

"Then it is decided! Sunset Shimmer! Fulfill our word, help those you nearly brought low, be the mare you could have been, not the mare you were, and someday maybe they will call for you in pride, not in fear. What you have done was horrible... what you may yet do, is up to you. This is the will of the Crystal Empire, a land who has seen the fruit of forgiveness, a land who knows the despair of hate, and most of all the land who knows the power of LOVE!"

The roar increased, becoming a booming, rumbling roar nearly deafening it it's majesty. A roar of excitement...

A roar that let her feel it, let Sunset Shimmer once more feel the love radiating off it as only one like herself could. She felt it, from all of them.

They knew love.


"Applejack? Would you mind coming up here and collecting your student. I feel... she has a lot left to learn."

She made her way over, her and the others who had been off to the side. Every one of them converged on her, surrounded her.

But they did not contain her.

...They freed her.

"And Ah'm gonna make sure she learned every single lesson... even iffin' Ah' gotta beat it inta' her head with a sack of apples!"

A laughing cheer rang out through the crowd, certainly better than whatever Shining Armor had gotten, he noticed a little bitterly.

"And I believe you will... well, my citizens, you are dispersed! Enjoy your time, and remember, that-"

"Um..."

All of them up there paused as a single hoof reached up into the air, uncertain and wavering.

"... Now that that's out of the way... can we ask when the changelings are coming back?"

Those present got to see a rare sight that day.

A rare sight of some of the most powerful ponies and changelings in Equestria... smiling like the sun had come out after a rainy day.

"They'll be back soon."

Applejack felt something strange in her as she watched them all look relieved, and happier still. A strange... indescribable feeling.

"...Well since we're all here, anyone wanna have a 'you're not getting locked up' party!?"

"PINKIE NO!"

Too late.

The streamers had come down, and the music had started.

And through it all.. Sunset Shimmer never stopped crying.

"I'll do it right this time... I promise..."

A single, orange hoof gripped her, pulling her in so tightly even her dead body could feel it.

"No... we're gonna do it right this time..."

She spared a glance, just one glance up to a certain figure, and she gripped tighter.

"We're gonna do it all right this time, all of it... that's a promise."

The party would last on into the night.

The celebration was just beginning.

What they must do... was still to come. But they would prove it, this time.

That was a promise.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC O MAKE!
>SA
"Pinkie"
~~~

"WOOOOO!"

>You know, this was supposed to be a trial.

"CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG!"

>Really refined, really nice, being all like that? You're kind of cheapening it.

"BABY YOU KNOW I LIKE TO SHAKE IT!"

>...Why the fuck don't I get any wings, this is bullshit, I put aside my anger that she hurt my Caddy. This is some bullshit.

"DO A LITTLE DANCE! MAKE A LOTTA LOVE! GET DOWN TONIGHT!"

>I'm not even getting laid.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Omake
>Changeling
"Pony"

>Hello I'm a changeling.

"And I'm a pony."

>Pony, did you know you're a shit?

"What!? No I'm not!"

>Really? Then where are your secrets?

"Huh?"

>Yeah, we changelings have about a bazillion secrets. We have awesome amazing powers that no other race can touch.

"Wow, wish I knew about those-"

>Nope, you're racist! You're a no-secret having racist!

"I have secrets!"

>Oh really?

"Yeah! I have my bank account password! No one could know about tha-"

Zotz!

"Wuh...wuh happen?"

>Your password is 1945, pony. I plucked it from your head, along with erasing all your favorite memories!

"But...why?"

>Because I could. Now you stay here being a shit, I have to go make some withdrawals and get up in some crystal pussy. Later!

"...who am I?"

Changelings: This has Secretly Been a General about us for like Seventy Threads.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Chrysalis
"Applejack"
~~~~

>...So I'm not the only one who noticed half this thread was me getting my shit kicked in, right?

"Yer' shit-kick-in kinda gal."

>I'm just saying, you didn't get hurt that much, this is bullshit.

"They don't like ta' hurt me. Ah'm, whatch'a call it, a likeable character."

>I notice you said likeable not entertaining.

"...fuck ya'll."

>So are me and you going to be friends? That a thing?

"Dunno, they keep temtpin' we're gonna kill each other or somethin'. It seems like they really want us ta' fight."

>Huh... sadistic bastards.

"Yeah, they're kinda dicks sometimes, but hey, at least Ah' get ta' give some cool speeches."

>I don't.

"..."

>...fuck you.

"Not even in /pa/ after dark."

>Rmrmmrm.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OMAKE
>SA
"???"
'???'
~~~~

>SERIOUSLY!? STILL NO WINGS!? SERIOUSLY NOW!? What more do I possibly have to do!? Do I literally have to get crucified and die for your sins!? Find the end of the earth!? Eat just ONE potatochip and stop!? WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?

~Ahhhahahhhhhhhh!~

"I have the answer."

>...Uh... are... are you-

"Essentially pony god, yes."

>...Uh huh...

"I have the answer to you, Shining Armor, on how you may finally ascend."

>Oh... great! That's great! I'm listening, what do you want me to do!?

"You have to fuck me."

>..........................................................................I'm sorry.

"You, Shining Armor, have got to mount me like the stallion you are and make me your mare. I want to be in the throes of screaming, orgasmic pleasure as you rut me like a common broodmare, and make me beg for more before you're done. I want you to get up on this and fill me till I burst. I want Shiny batter in me, now..."

>...

"...and then you get your wings!"

>...

"...Foreplay is not necessary, but encouraged."

>............................................................................................

"Now plea-"

CHUCK!

"UMF!"

'MOM WHAT THE FUCK!? NO! NO NO NO!'

"If jufh a jok."

'IT'S NOT A VERY FUNNY ONE! I AM GOING TO WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT TILL IT IS CLEAN!'

"...Dag if."

~POOF!~

'UGH! The nerve of her... Shiny?'

>........................................You're hotter than your mom is.

'O-oh myyyyy.'

"Atta boy, Shiny, you show my daughter how to BEHAVE-"

'MOM FUCK OFF!'

"NEVER!"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-Canon Pinkie Preview
>Pinkie
~~~~~
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMMfep_ZsXs
>Our fight with Sunset ended and Shining Armor decided what to do with her. The Gift wars start.
>Luna shows how Mahjong is serious business. Trixie, Diamond Tiara, and Chrysalis take an elevator ride in a mall. The mailmare tries to deliver mail to Discord's house. Applejack helps Rarity in a soup kitchen for charity. I up the ante on the presents. Fluttershy gets stuck in line. Consumerism is high as sales pop up everywhere. Find out what happens next time in thread 84:A Charlie Horse Heart's Warming Day...and of course playful fanservice!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________



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