NOUNS:

asshole
asswipe
barfpuppet
bastard
broad
busybody
chump
coward
dbag
dipshit
doofus
dope
douche
douchebag
dumbdumb
fucker
idiot
ignoramus
imbecile
knowitall
knucklehead
loser
lowlife
maggot
moron
nerd
nooksucker
nooksniffer
nook whiffer
numbskull
prick
schlub
scum
scumbag
shitbag
shithead
shithole
shit rinser
shitsponge
shitstain
sociopath
spaz
stooge
stupid
tool

ADJECTIVES:

autistic/ADD
backbiting
backstabbing
blithering
braindead
classless
crotchstained
disgusting
disordered
doubletalking
feculent
flighty
frothing
fucking
grubfisted
ignorant
impertinent
incompetent
insipid
juvenile
looneyblock
miserable
moany
mutant
nookbiting
pathetic
pointless
psychotic
retarded
sad
seditious
smug
stubborn
stupid
trenchant
underdeveloped
ungrateful
unlistening
useless
vapid
vile
weird
worst
worthless
wretched

TROLL ANATOMY:

tickles your absurdity palate
polish my heaving bone bulge
throbbing phlegm lobe
evacuate through your protein chute
fondle major seedflap
impertinent seedflaps
asleep at the thorax
up to my lobe stem
platonic bro bulge bump
probing busybody sniffnodes
can't keep your lascivious prongs out of the roe hole
mother grub's oozing vestigial third oral sphincter
twitching spine lump
shove a throb stalk in it
piping hot nutrition plateau
autoerogenous shame globes
I'm keeping my prongs crossed.
I'm getting a lump in my squawk blister.
underdeveloped think pan
shout sphincters
smug nook whiffer
nookbiting shenanigans
puny human bulge
insatiable ignorance shafts
transuniversal bulge thrust
frond buckling nook stench

EXAMPLES:

YOU BLITHERING FECULENT SHITHOLE
PEDANTIC HUMAN HORSESHIT
MELODRAMATIC BULLSHIT
YOU IGNORANT DOUCHE
WEIRD MUTANT BRAIN
THE WORST FUCKING PIECE OF TRASH WHO EVER LIVED
INSIPID BUNCH OF GRUBFISTED DOUCHEBAGS
BUNCH OF MOANY NOOKSUCKERS
BUNCH OF STUBBORN UNLISTENING ASSHOLES
GET HER GROSS AND TOTALLY UNATTRACTIVE HUMAN BUTT OFF HER UGLY HUMAN HIGH HORSE AND ANSWER MY MESSAGES
WHAT THE WET BAG OF HUMAN HORSE SHIT TO THE FACE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING.
PRIMITIVE CINEMATIC NEANDERTHRASHINGS
WRITHING KNOTTED HELL OF A TIMELINE CHOKING US ALL TO DEATH
CRYPTOBAFFLING MIND FUDDLERY
FLOWERY SORT OF FROTHY POETIC JACKASSERY
WORTHLESS FUCKING BULLSHIT WASTE OF TIME FOR SILLY LITTLE CHILDREN
YOU DAMP BAG OF PUKE
OH MY THROBBING PHLEGM LOBE, WHO GIVES A BARFING FUCK ABOUT THAT.
WHAT IN THE SWEET ALMIGHTY TAINTCHAFING FUCK DO YOU WANT.
YOU DRESS LIKE AN IMBECILE AND ARE BASICALLY THE STUPIDEST ASSHOLE I'VE EVER KNOWN.
I KNEW YOU WERE CHEATER LOWLIFE FUCKING SCUMBAG WITH NO SCRUPLES OR SELF ESTEEM AND WERE BASICALLY WORTHLESS ON EVERY LEVEL, BUT SOMEHOW I'M STILL DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.
HOW DO YOU GET OUT OF YOUR COCOON IN THE MORNING KNOWING YOU'RE THE WORST THING A UNIVERSE WAS EVER RESPONSIBLE FOR?
ALSO IT MUST BE HARD WITH YOUR HANDS TO PERSISTENTLY BOTHERING EVERY MUTATED SET OF GENITALS PEPPERING THAT GHASTLY HUSK YOU PAWN OFF AS A BODY.
HAS A FEMALE EVER LOOKED AT YOU WITHOUT AT ONCE TURNING SKYWARD AND ERUPTING LIKE A VOMIT VOLCANO, ANSWER ME THAT.
THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO EVACUATE THROUGH YOUR PROTEIN CHUTE ON THE MATTER.
MELODRAMA SPAZ QUEEN
YOU'RE LIKE A ROCKET PROPELLED SPAZ MAGGOT SPRINGLOADED UP THE ASS OF A PSYCHEDELIC FUCKING FREAKOUT WEASEL ON IDIOT DRUGS SO LETS NOT PLAY MAKEBELIEVE GAMES HERE.
FROTHING LOONEYBLOCK NONSENSE
IT'S GOING TO FONDLE MAJOR SEEDFLAP.
PSYCHOTIC BLIND GIRL
DOUBLETALKING ASSHOLES
YOU REALLY ARE JUST THAT SAD AND INCOMPETENT.
JUST SOME SMUG ASSHOLE
SOME BULLSHIT TITLE YOU GAVE YOURSELF SO YOU CAN FEEL JUST A TINY BIT LESS LOATHESOME
AN AUTISTIC GIRL IN A CAVE
THE ONLY GUY ON THE PLANET WHO'S A BIGGER ASSHOLE THAN ME
HEY ASSHOLE, STOP PLAYING GAMES FOR GIRLS.
THE MOST VILE BACKSTABBING SOCIOPATH WHO EVER LIVED
MORE CAGEY CUTESY BULLSHIT
LIKE I'M NOT UP TO MY LOBE STEM WITH THAT ALREADY
MORE LIKE TWITCHY EYED PROJECTILE VOMITING IN UTTER DISGUST FRIENDS, WHILE I PERFORATE MY BONE BULGE WITH A CULLING FORK.
THERE, I AM NOW AN ENORMOUS TOOL FOREVER.
A RUN OF THE MILL LITTLE PSYCHO GIRL
LET'S BURY THE THRESHER WITH A TOTALLY PLATONIC BRO BULGE BUMP.
IT'S PRIVATE, SO EVERYONE CAN GO POINT THEIR PROBING BUSYBODY SNIFFNODES UP THEIR OWN IMPERTINENT SEED FLAPS.
no man iit2 true, we are bulge bumpiing pupa pal2 agaiin.
OH FUCK THIS CONDESCENDING FUTURE KNOWITALL ACT, WE AREN'T BUMPING SHIT, YOU ARE SO BANNED.
AND SO THE PORCINE HOOF BELONGING TO THE SWOLLEN HAG KNOWN AS LADY DESTINY HAS STOMPED ANOTHER THROAT.
WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKERS IS NEXT?
YOU ADD DISORDERED SHIT RINSERS CAN'T KEEP YOUR LASCIVIOUS PRONGS OUT OF THE ROE HOLE, CAN YOU.
YOU CAN ALL ACT LIKE BRAINDEAD ASSWIPES IN YOUR OWN FESTERING FLAP OF PARADOX SPACE, FINE WITH ME.
LEVEL 69 NOOKSNIFFER IS UP FOR GRABS, WHO WANTS IT.
NO THAT'S NOT AN INVITATION FOR YOU FUCKING NERDS TO COME IN HERE AND CORRECT ME ON YOUR GODDAMN FAIRY ELVES.
PEACE THE FUCK OUT DBAGS
SWEET MOTHER GRUB'S OOZING VESTIGIAL THIRD ORAL SPHINCTER, HOW CAN YOU PEOPLE BE SO STUPID.
YOU WILL BE STANDING ON THE TIPPYTOES OF YOUR IDIOTIC METAL SHOES, TAKING DELICATE PURCHASE OF MY NUBBY HORNS AND HOISTING YOURSELF OVER MY HEAD TO PUT YOUR SWEATIEST TOUGH GUY SMOOCH UPON MY TWITCHING SPINE LUMP.
HEY WHY DON'T YOU && THEM WITH YOUR SPONGEY BRAIN FOR EXTRA ABSORBENCY.
SHOVE A THROB STALK IN IT.
ZIP YOUR CHUTES
THE THING THAT WE ALL ACCOMPLISH IS BECOMING INSTANTANEOUS ASSHOLES WITH AWFUL TASTE.
COUNT SEA DIPSHIT
SEE IF ANYONE ELSE HAS ANY SHIT THEY WANT TO SCRAPE OFF THEIR BULGE ON TO MY CLEAN NUTRITION PLATEAU
USE YOUR MIND POWERS TO HELP ME LOCATE THE DESPERATELY ATTEMPT TO GIVE A SHIT BUTTON. WHOOPS WE BOTH FAILED, IT DOESN'T EXIST.
LET'S ALL CRAWL INTO OUR COCOONS AND GET BUSY STIMULATING OUR AUTOEROGENOUS SHAME GLOBES.
GOT IT YOU TRENCHANT BACKBITING PRICKS?????
OH, WHAT'S THAT, PASTHOLE? YOU DIDN'T READ THIS AND FIGURE THAT OUT AHEAD OF TIME? OR MAYBE YOU JUST SKIMMED THIS AND IT DIDN'T GET THROUGH YOUR THICK BULGE???
GETTING SOUNDLY BERATED BEFORE, DURING, AND AFTER THE MISTAKES ARE BEING MADE IS JUST THE MUCUS ON THE GRUBLOAF. THE SWEET, TANGY MUCUS.
SHE'S COMPLETELY SHITHIVE MAGGOTS, DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED.
WE CAN AVOID THE SORT OF VERBAL SLAPSTICK ROUTINES I'M SICK TO FUCKING DEATH OF BY NOW.
AND THEN WE PROVE TO THE INVISIBLE RIDDLER THAT IS FATHER TIME BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT WHAT A BUNCH OF FUCKING IDIOTS WE ALL ARE.
LOOK I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE FRUITY RUMPUS ASSHOLE FACTORY.
YOU ARE DRAGGING YOUR SCHIZOPHRENIC NOSE INTO THIS
YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN SMELL MALICE OFF AN INTERPRETIVE DANCE.
NOT LIKE ALL YOU CLASSLESS SHITBAGS WHO SLOP YOUR BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE EVERY GODDAMN MINUTE LIKE IT'S SOME WEIRD FETISH.
IT'S LIKE TRYING TO DECIPHER THE DAILY HOROSCOPE RIDDLE. OR THE RIDDLES FOR ALL 48 SIGNS COMBINED.
ATTENTION WORTHLESS HUMAN.
BEING SUCH A WRETCHED DISGUSTING FAILURE ON EVERY CONCEIVABLE LEVEL.
IT IS A HATE SO PURE AND HOT IT WOULD CONSUME YOUR SAD UNDERDEVELOPED HUMAN THINK PAN TO EVEN CONTEMPLATE.
IT IS A HATE THAT TO FATHOM MUST BE PUT INTO SONG. SHRIEKED BY THE TEN THOUSAND ROWDY SHOUT SPHINCTERS PEPPERING THE GRUESOME UNDERBELLY OF THE MOST TRUCULENT GOD THE FURTHEST RING CAN MUSTER.
MY HATE IS THE LIFEBLOOD THAT PULSES THROUGH THE VEINS OF YOUR UNIVERSE.
YOU UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT.
I DIDN'T WRIGGLE OUT OF A PUDDLE OF SLIME YESTERDAY.
I FUCKING LOATHE YOU
YOU REALLY ARE A SMUG NOOK WHIFFER
WHAT INCOMPREHENSIBLY PUTRID GARBAGE YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE AND HOW MUCH I HATE YOU
PREPARE TO GET YOUR PUNY HUMAN BULGE FLAMED INTO NUCLEAR HATEBLIVION. WELCOME TO THE TROLLOCAUST. THE PAINSTAKING GENOCIDE OF YOUR FRAGILE SELF ESTEEM WILL BE MY SWAN SONG.
YOU WORTHLESS CROTCHSTAINED BARFPUPPET
ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED.
MORE OF THIS TAWDRY ROLEPLAY-INFESTED CLOAK AND DAGGER RUBBISH.
YOU BASTARD, IS IT REALLY SO MUCH TO ASK TO TAKE A FEW TOOLS OUT BEHIND THE GRUBSHED.
RAINBOW ASSGRAB JUNCTION
SERVE A FEW PINK SKINNED DOUCHE BAGS A PIPING HOT NUTRITION PLATEAU FULL OF FUCK YOU
OK I DEFINITELY DON'T NEED YOU BUSTING MY BULGE ABOUT THE SPEECH NOW.
I'M FED UP WITH THESE BACK DOOR NOOKBITING SHENANIGANS.
THEY'RE A MISERABLE POINTLESS CROP OF LIFEFORMS FROM A MEANINGLESS BORING PUSTULE OF A PLANET.
WE CAN GAUGE YOUR RESULTS WITH THE "FLIGHTY BROADS AND THEIR SNARKY HORSESHITOMETER".
HEY SHITHEAD YOU ARE IN HUGE TROUBLE.
EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP, I HATE YOU BOTH, ETC. ETC. ETC.
THIS MEMO IS NOT ABOUT WHICH GUY CAN MANAGE TO BE THE HEFTIEST SACK OF SHAME GLOBES TO ONE ANOTHER. IT IS NOT ABOUT WHICH ONE OF US WILL MOST DECISIVELY ESCORT THE OTHERS "TO SCHOOL", WHERE THEY WILL RECEIVE A VAST HELPING OF "OH SNAP" RAMMED DOWN THEIR INSATIABLE IGNORANCE SHAFTS.
BEGIN TO APPROXIMATE PEOPLE WHO AREN'T EXCRUCIATINGLY RETARDED
AND BY FUCK OFF I MEAN FUCK OFF RIGHT BACK HERE AND LISTEN, YOU INSUFFERABLE PRICK.
IF SMUG WAS A MOTORCYCLE, IT JUST JUMPED OVER A FUCKING CANYON. THE CROWD GOES WILD WITH DISMAY, AND THEN COMMITS MASS SUICIDE.
ALSO GUESS WHOSE BUSINESS THAT STILL ISN'T, FUCKING YOURS, THAT'S RIGHT.
HE'S A SMUG SHITSTAIN WITH SHADES AND A POKER FACE.
YOU'RE JUST BLUNDERING RIGHT INTO THEIR HYPERCOMPETITIVE MINDFUCK MURDER-THICKET.
AS MUCH AS IT MAKES ME SICK TO MY VARIOUS BITS OF ALIEN PHYSIOLOGY YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF
EGBERT JUST EARNED A FEW BRAIN POINTS! HE HAS REACHED A NEW RUNG ON HIS ECHELADDER, "EASILY OUTFOXED BY SIMPLE UTENSILS" - "BUCKAROO" OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
YES LET'S ALL HAVE A GREAT BIG OH MAN OVER THAT AND THEN FUCKING CUT THE HORSESHIT FOREVER. SOUND GOOD?
ARE YOU QUITE DONE SLOGGING THROUGH THE EMOTIONAL MORASS OF ADOLESCENCE, EMERGING FROM THE SLUDGE IN YOUR JUNIOR ECTOBIOLOGY WADERS?
YES, YOU FIGURED IT OUT! YOU ARE A SAVANT OF XENOBIOLOGY DAVE AND I SALUTE YOU WITH ONE OF MY MANY INTERGALACTIC SPACE TENDRILS. (THAT'S FAKE, I MADE THAT UP TO FUCK WITH YOU)
SHITHIVE BROADS
THAT MAKES A LOT OF FUCKING SENSE. WHY DON'T YOU WISE THE FUCK UP, COOLDOUCHE?
ALL YOU DO IS RUN YOUR MOUTH ALL DAY, AND SNIFF AND LICK PEOPLE INAPPROPRIATELY WITH THAT SHIT EATING GRIN.
ALRIGHT, AS LEADER, I RECOMMEND WE DELIVER THEM A DELIGHTFUL GIFT BASKET VIA TRANSUNIVERSAL BULGE THRUST. ARE YOU TAKING THIS DOWN???
FUCK THAT SENTIMENT, AND FUCK YOU, AND FUCK FUTURE ME.
THE ONLY GUY MORE IRRITATING AND STUPID THAN FUTURE ME IS PAST ME.
WHY DO YOU ASSHOLES HAVE PILES OF THINGS, JUST STOP.
WHAT THE FROND BUCKLING NOOK STENCH ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.
YOU KNOW WHAT WAS GREAT? WHEN YOU USED TO NOT BE A ROBOT. CAUSE THIS ROBOT THING? THIS IS BULLSHIT.
SPOOKY TIN CAN PSYCHOPATH
GO HAVE YOUR BUTLER GET YOU ONE YOU SNOOTY DOUCHE.