Apr 9th, 2016
- My life, as I imagine most lives do, operates in a series of cycles, and one of the more defining cycles is one between regressing and renewing. Even in the bright moments that temporarily allowed me to resist temptation somewhat, the past 5-6 months have been more regressive than any before. I’m not getting any better about essential habits like doing homework, writing in my journal, reading and not being awful, I regularly ignore most of the people that I like, and I’m no longer busy enough to justify any of it. The occasional event (like vacations and work) or obstacle (like essays) still comes up every now and then, but for the most part I’ve merely become more of a video game-addicted shut-in than ever before. :l
- One of the things that I neglected to do in my isolation is detail what happened on my birthday, so I’ll start with that before moving back to more serious matters! I like writing about these even if only a few people care to read them. I got a surprisingly decent haircut the day before (now displayed on the pictures thread for strictly academic purposes), which helped since we spent a few hours wandering through downtown Chicago after church and it was rather windy (as you’d expect from the city's nickname). I got to see the Bean up close, which was kind of neat, but it made me rather sad that I didn’t have any money on hand with which to donate to the homeless and no way to safely help pick up some of the trash (according to my sister and her boyfriend, at least).
- Afterwards, some of the people in my immediate family treated me to dinner at Red Robin’s (which still possesses some of the best cheeseburgers I’ve ever eaten), and we somehow found space to go home and share some tasty cake with the people in my family who didn’t quite make it to Red Robin’s. (One of my first proper birthday parties, complete with blowing out the candles!) Nothing particularly fancy happened besides the cake, people mostly just sat and talked, but that made me happy anyway - and I got to play Crash 3 with my mother as spectator, which is always a delight. -w-
- All of this would have been present enough, but my cousin was generous enough to give me a PS3! It didn’t come with games, of course, but my brother also owns one and will mostly likely let me borrow his every now and then, Dark Souls being my first request and newest love. It was a wonderful occasion, probably one of the best birthdays I’ve had. ~^.^~
- I didn’t share it with anyone as I wanted to, though, and that relates back to some concerns. I’ve only somewhat been keeping up with the email conversations I have with Hina, only keep in some kind of contact with Raus because he’s so active, have been a satellite friend to most forum folk and now hold the tarnished title of “That guy who never says hi” to most of the people that I only know through Skype. I’m not sure about anything regarding this, but I’ll keep trying to break through my silly fortress of solitude. For now, just know that my longtime assurance of “Silence doesn’t equal disapproval” still applies.
- I guess that’s all, I just wanted to explain things somewhat since silence is saddening and deadly on a platform where every voice can be heard. I’m still here, and I’m still optimistic that I hold a good chance of recuperation, it’s just more difficult to open up than it once was.
Please, Sign In to add comment