it takes two to tomato

    Neil was not on his A-game today. He was currently reading the script for the newest blockbuster he was set to be on. It was simple really, only one piece of dialogue in this entire flick, yet he fumbled over it repeatedly for days on end. How in the world was he going to get rid of his jitters by the time he called in to perform? Man, adult life really sucks the fun out of the activities you love. Neil slumped in his personal beach chair as he thought of a way to calm his nerves. Then an idea crept up his spine, a very delightful and hilarious idea. Reaching for his phone, he browsed through his contacts, searching for the perfect candidate.
     "Hmmm...Trisha? Maybe, but the last time we've met, her Dad and I crashed his jeep into a ravine irreversibly after my Bigfoot prank. Not one of my better plans. I'm pretty sure they have me blocked." "Oh, Jerry, now he'd give a strong reactio-" Neil thought about how funny him spontaneously calling Jerry while on the job would result in a little turbulence on the chance that he would anser his phone during a flight. Then the thought of Jerry crashing due to that and the police tracking his last call didn't sit right with him. "Too risky." "Chaz?" Nah, he's probably too busy graverobbing or stalking senior centers. "Nancy?" She most definitely records every call she gets so she can use as blackmail for her global news broadcast. "Cindy?" That was...actually not too bad of an idea. She shouldn't be busy at this time and she's still gullible enough to fall for his tricks every time, perfect for a prank call!
    Neil dialed her number and let it ring, quickly thinking of a snide comment that could set her off. Oh man, this was going to be good. The other side answered and for the longest time nothing could be heard besides the most silent of breathing. Neil was confused at first, but decided to get on with it as he wanted a quick and easy laugh. "Hello there, can I interest you in-" "hello?" Wait a minute, that sure didn't sound like Cindy. "Hey, am I speaking to a-" "hello Neil." the voice interrupted him again. Neil felt a bit unclear at this entire conversation, whoever was speaking was very soft and barely above a whisper. They also had a habit of long pauses before sp- "Neil." The speaker spoke more clearly this time and Neil could tell they were female. "Cindy, is that you?" he asked, genuinely wanting to know. "..." "..." "...no."
    The actor was begging to feel like he was the one being prank called. "Well then, may I kno-" "come quick." the speaker said. "That's what she said! haha." Neil responded back automatically. However, he then received a text message followed by a image from his current caller. It was an address to some library he's never been to. The image on the other hand, had what looked like a dimly lit room with only a knife in view. Before he could ask, the phone hung up. Neil was lost in his thoughts, what the hell was that all about? He looked at the address again before agreeing to go cause now his interest was peaked.
                                                       . . .

    Neil made it to the library relatively unnoticed, granted he's not on the same level of fame as most actors, but he was disappointed that not one fan stopped and asked for an autograph. The building in question looked quaint, quite large for a library in his opinion. Not that he was an expert on Libraries, since the last time he could remember stepping inside one was when he did his infamous switcharoo prank with the history and fiction books. Ms. Chariot never let him hear the end of it for that one. Chuckling at his memory, he stepped inside. Much to his surprise, the library was...a regular library. Dusty old books on the shelves, papers scattered all over the floor, mysterious red liquid forming around a human shaped mass on the floor.
    He did a double take before setting his eyes on the sight. There was clearly someone on the ground and they were covered in red liquid. Neil didn't want to jump to conclusions, but his mind was running wild. He slowly approached the body, hoping the worst hasn't happened, but as he got a closer look, it seemed like this body was quite...hairy. No, not just hair, they were extremally furry as their arms were covered in golden brown fur. Now that he was properly staring, it seemed like this person was familiar, later confirmed by the nametag covered in... blood: 'Cindoria Oakwood.'
    Neil dropped to his knees as he saw what remained of his old classmate, murdered dead in cold blood. "My god...This situation is dead serious." he remarked, still managing to squeeze a bit of humor out of this. "C'mon Cindy, wake up. I know hibernation is your entire thing, but I can't bear to see you like this haha..haha..ha." Neil half joked. He shook her shoulders, but she lay limp. "Dammit, you went and got yourself poached and in the library of all places. Maybe there's a book on how to solve a murder? Sherlock Holmes ring a bell anyone?" No response. "Nancy would have laughed at that one."
    Neil just noticed his blood covered hands were cradled around Cindy for awhile before he realized he just left his fingerprints on a corpse, a surprisingly still warm one at that. "Dammit Cindy, I know I'm irresistible, but please keep your paws off!" he panicked as he dropped Cindy to floor, causing her to squeak in pain. Neil caught on to that, before the smell of ketchup filled his nose. Neil looked to his bloody hands and arms, the bloodstains were looking rather chunky and smelled like tomato. He then looked to the "corpse" as it fidgeted with it's arm that was throbbing in pain, small breaths escaping her mouth, this entire shtick was beginning to make sense.
    "Neil...behind you." came the same quiet voice again. Oh yeah, Neil remembered that he was lured here by someone. Turning around, he saw a tall woman standing with a sharp knife raised above her head, ready to swing down. The air was tense, so tense that he had to break the silence. "Is this a joke? Cause if it is, you can get to the point already." He emphasized 'point' as he glanced at the very real knife rather confidently. To be honest, he wasn't feeling that confident, so he hoped his bluff worked. The lady actually seemed kinda familiar to him, but those thoughts were pushed aside as that lady swung that knife down towards Neil as screamed as this seemed too sudden. Neil could have sworn he was a goner, but he still only felt the tip of the point right between his tightly shut eyes. It took a moment, but he pried them open, only to see himself face to face with a maliciously smug smiling older looking Librarian very clearly having taken joy in seeing him suffer mentally. The close up was all he needed to see that this lady was none other than his old classmate, Mute, never did find out her name huh.
    Mute had that glint in her eye, having sent a shiver down Neil's spine one last time. The amount of silent gloating that she was doing in her head couldn't be understated, and Neil knew that. He was utterly and completely- "pranked." Mute said as she put down the dangerously close knife and backing away from Neil. Then the sounds of boisterous and grizzly roaring laughter came from behind him, belonging to a certain park ranger. "MWAHHAHAHAHAAH!!!! WE GOT YOU!!! WE GOT YOU!!!" She jumped back and forth, like she was a little girl again. Neil was steaming, fuming, and furious as he sat in his slightly pissed pants. He was prankster! He was the one who caught people off guard, made fun of their situations, smugly chastise his targets for making a fool of themselves. He was the one that wins, not the other way around!
    Mute offered her hand to him to get up, it was the least she could do. Neil grabbed onto it, hoping his pride couldn't be shattered more, only to be proven wrong when he yelled in pain as his hand felt something sharp and excruciating! Mute had a genuine smile on her face, but that was the smile of a mad woman having too much fun torturing a poor soul. Neil was desperately trying to remove his hand, but Mute wouldn't let go, as her smile only grew. "Jesus Christ! You win! You win!" He shouted in defeat. Mute only let go as soon as Cindy gave her a stern look, mentally telling her to stop taking it so far. Neil's hand had two pushpins in it, strategically placed there by Mute herself. Neil suddenly remembered just how much was wrong with this girl, but he had to admit, he did appreciate the old hidden hand trick. Mute showed her first ever act of kindness, giving him a napkin to wipe the blood off. Neil cautiously accepted, before asking "Y'know, a simple water bucket on top of the head would have sufficed. This was just plain cruel, I actually thought Cindy was dead."
    The human hybrid looked a bit guilty, still showing she had a moral fiber in there despite her best friend being a devil child sometimes. "At first, I was against it cause I didn't want to bother you with that thought, but it was Mute's idea and once I got the call from you, she just had to." He was surprised, so they planned this out first thing when he called them? He was impressed. "I didn't think you'd show up honestly in the first place honestly. Since you've bullied us for most of our childhoods. You wouldn't go all this way for a prank phone call would you?" Cindy ended strangely reminiscent. Neil didn't even have to think about that, of course he would go that far and further beyond if he could get a laugh at someone's expense, shame that today it was his own this time. "Well, I have to congratulate you Mute, you really did fool me. However, don't think that just because you won the battle, the war is over." he said rather giddily.
    Mute gave him a confused look at first, before one of understanding. She poked the bear with this stunt and she knows how competitive Neil is with his weird interests. She absolutely hated him during her school years as she was most often his favorite target, but looking back, it was slightly fun seeing how he would try to top himself next time, only for her to return his gratitude by trying to break him physically. Was this one of those rivalries? Neil was stubborn as shit, but so was she. Were they just destined to get back each other for the rest of their lives for no other reason than it was entertaining? She could live with that, much better than her random phone calls where Melville always managed to reach her despite blocking him multiple times. She really needed to stop buying his products.
    Mute was so lost in thought that she didn't even see Neil walking to the door with Cindy waving them both off as she left early. Neil looked back, one hand behind his back while he waved to her with his injured one. Mute waved back, like he was a friend, which they weren't, but it felt good anyway. "Hey Mute, is that a blush I see? You're as red as a tomato haha!" he commented. She then quickly remembered how much of a sniveling weasel he was, so she made her way over to him to get him to leave, her glare immanent. Backing away from her reach, Neil continued "Speaking of tomatoes, we should ketchup again sometime soon!" He yelled that last part, before revealing her half empty bottle of ketchup and squeezing it so hard that it flew into Mute's face. Mute got a face full of sauce, even getting some in her mouth which caused her to sputter and cough. "SEEYOULATERBYE!" Neil said before he ran off for the heavens while cackling to himself. Mute wiped her glasses to see he was already gone, but she didn't give chase. In fact, she chuckled slightly, which morphed into a full grown laugh at his silly comeback. Knowing him, this wasn't end of it and she'll have to be ready for whatever he throws at her next, she didn't want to admit it but she was filled with a certain amount of excitement at what was to come. "game on." she declared.