Back to the Future, the myth, the legend.
It was by far one of the best movies of the 1980s and of the

1950s, and the 1880s.
Fuck, it's one of the best movies ever made. How can anyone

watch the trilogy and not love it. I don't think I ever met a

person who did.
If there was such a person, there's a good chance they're

fucking retarded.

It's not just a movie that visits various eras, such as the 50s,

and the 1800s, it's actually a time capsule of the 1980s.

Watching it in current day is like traveling back to an

important era of human history. The 1980s was an important

decade. It ushered in concepts like personal computers, portable

communications, and bushy pubic hair pornography. A decade where

4/5ths was run by a president who was a famous actor of the

black and white era. A decade where cocaine was spread so wide

across the country that a swift breeze got people high. And

running along side of the president was his wife, Nancy Regan

and her "just say no" campaign to fight the drug war. A campagin

that would spread across television and arcade games. Arcade

games like bad dudes, where you have to save a kidnapped ronald

reagan. Or narc, a game about two police officers in opposing

colors commiting an iner city geneocide of drug dealers.

It was an era where television and other media was trying to

tone down the party hard eras of the decades before it. It was

hip to be square. Which was a song by huey lewis and the news.

The same guy who did a number of songs for bttf. It starred a

clean, good looking white kid named Marty mcfly. A non-drug

using, not smoking, non drinking vegetarian. Well, MJF was, I

dunno about marty. Not like it matters, the point is it was

classic boring as shit, plain white kid character, like pretty

much every teen character in a movie in the 1980s.Back then

black teen characters were bumped down to supporting roles of

smiling nitwits that were used as serial killer fodder. Which

thankfully has changed with time, saving black characters deaths

for the 2nd or third death in a film. Also latin americans

didn't exist in the 1980s. Which is somewhat amusing to me as

hill valley is a run down town in california. Run down towns are

where california puts all it's latinos when it's not using them

for low wage jobs. But hill valley is all white. Unless it's the

alternate 1985 then there's some color. Enjoy your stereotypes

uncle ben.

The story of bttf is a simple, classic story of love, and self

discovery, science, wonder, incest, perversion, greed, animal

feces, and the relationship between a 71 year old single man and

a sexy young 17 year old boy.dr. emmet brown is a scientist who

aparently has a infamous nature about him, as mr. strickland has

words with marty about him. He tells marty he shouldn't hang

around with him. Maybe because he's a 17 year old boy and dr

brown is a 71 year old man. The trilogy starts off with a hint

of what's to come. Clocks, lots and lots and lots and lots of

fucking clocks. Which all go batshit when marty gets there. The

tv has a vague decription of a nuclear plant break in and a

plutonium theft. A little note of trivia, in recent years when

this part is shown on tv, they remove the refrences to

terrorism. Because apparently since 911 if you say the word

terrorism al quida operatives appear in your hjouse like fucking

beetljuice. so there's a big fat plop of dog foot, and marty

shows up,  letting himself in with a key. I have to ask, why

does he know where the key to doc's place is? Does he let

himself in often? Who knbows, it's awkward, but it was another

era and the overtones of manboy love wasn't as noticed as it is

today. So marty comes in and destroys doc's home when the phone

rings. Doc requests the supple young boy to meet him in a dark

parking lot at one in the morning with a camcorder. Ok, this is

just weird. Saying it ouloud just makes it sillier. Shit, I'm

late for school, a quick burger king product placement and marty

takes off to risk his safty on a skateboard. he passes a dance

studio, then a quick product placement for mt dew and he shows

up at school.

Now I'm going to put the plot on pause while I tell you in

intimate detail about why you should love marty mcfly. Marty is

the epitome of the classic american male teen. He's into girls

and video games, and according to the cheesy fucking poster on

his walls he's into sports. He skateboards, he drinks pepsi

free, which was a cafeene free pepsi inbtroduced in 1982, and

phased out in 1987. Mostly because it tasted fucking disgusting

due to the fact that it tasted like pepsi. Which is one of the

most cleaver jokes later in the first film that not too many

people will understand. Marty is impulsive, quick to make bad

decisions, and has trouble understanding his parents. Classic

teenage character. And he's played by michael j fox, by far the

most talented actor of the 1980s. Although that wasn't always

the case. You see, the director, robert zemekas wanted MJF from

the start. However MJF was busy with the sitcom family ties

which he was on at the time. So they picked up his doppelganger

eric stoltz. They filmed a good deal of the movie with him.

According to zemekas stoltz wasn't exactly what they needed, and

blah blah blah. Translation, he sucked and they wanted MJF. And

they got him. And the character exists forever as an icon of the

timeless nature of the teenage boy, no matter the decade of his

birth. MJF is pure awesome. In fact, I suggest replacing chuck

norris jokes with MJF jokes, since chuck norris has turned into

a batshit crazy right wing evangelkical.

Anywho back to the first chapter of the trilogy of awesome.

Marty shows up at school and gets accosted by the old guy from

the six flags commercials. he gets a demerit and some

inspirational words from an educator, then proceeds to try to

make out with marty and we're off to gym to watch marty play

music with the cast of waynes world. huey lewis plays a cameo as

a pedophile with a microphone and tells marty and his band to

fuck off.

marty and lady go to the town square where this old bag of bitch

interrupts their private, intimate moment. FUCK YOU LADY.

jENNIFER'S DAD PULLS UP IN A CLASSY WOOD GRAIN brown eyefuck of

a car and she gives him a number. This number has been changed

on tv a few times too. Not sure why. Marty shows up at home to

see a towtruck and we meet george mcfly played by crispin im-

out-of-my-fucking-mind glover and tom-fuck-this-movie-

typecasted-me-forever-wilson. Both of them wearing the summer

collection from pedophiles-r-us. we learn that the big, stupid,

drunken idiot biff crashed george's car, and pussys out about

confronting him. Marty tells his dad he's a bitch and takes off.

And then we're off to dinner where we learn marty's family sucks

and they're all fucking horrible people. We have pedodad,

drunken mom, burgerking brother and velma from scooby doo. We

are informed that their extended family sucks too as their uncle

is in prison and is being denied parole. Sucks to be you uncle

joey.

Marty falls asleep fist deep in his own ass when his phone

rings. Dr. brown drops a booty call and marty is off to meet

him. In the middle of the night. In a parking lot. With a

camcorder. He arrives at twin pines mall, which later in the

movie will be called the lone pines mall, since marty destroys

one of the twin pines with the car. Oh, hello unsupervised dog,

what's new, OH MY GOD A FUCKING DELORIAN THAT APPEARS TO AHVE

DRIVEN THROUGH A RADIO SHACK. dr brown jomps out, eyes ablaze as

he seems to have tracked down some of that great 1980s coke.

then he proceeds to strap the dog in and drive him around and

then boom, off to an obvious green screen. Why did they have to

stand in front of the car? What did that proove? Dr brown goes

on at length later in the film about how every thing he touches

turns to shit. I wouldn't be so cocky to think after 71 years of

failure that this would be the one time things went right. He

even looks shocked as shit when it does work. doc jumps around,

and marty looks around like he smells a fart. As the obvious

puddles of gasoline burn off. Thank you blu ray. car comes back

through time and is covered with ice. Why in the fuck this thing

is covered with ice is a mystery. It seems stupid to me. I mean

when it blows out of time it shoots flames, and on the otherside

instantaniously it is surrounded by ice. I'm not a scientific

mind by any means, but I do know that heating something up then

plunging it into the cold causes it to shatter. Thank you bill

nye the science guy. but fuck it, it's not like this is a

realisic movie, so I can overlook it. But since I am nitpicking

wouldn't a 1500lbs of steal suddenly appearing out of thin air

spread out the gases around it, blowing dock and marty on their

asses? Not realisitc, not realistic, calm down.

hello, this is dog. They replace the plutonium and doc is off to

time travel. He forgets the plutonium he just used moments

beforehand when the terrorists show up. Now, this kind of irks

me. he has done a total of one test of the car. now he's about

to take an entire case of volitale nuclear matter, stick it in a

machine that vilolently blasts through time. Doesn't that risk

the chance of blowing the fuck up? Or worse yet blowing up in

the time period they are showing up? Not realistic. Then a white

guy and a latino dressed like middle easterers show up in the

world's most agile vehicle, the volkswagen microbus. They shoot

doc, then try to shoot marty. His gun jams and marty does a

flying leap into the delorian. What follows is by far one of the

best car chases in cinematic history. It's not very long but

it's awesome as hell.

Marty blasts though the time barrier and ends up in November

5th, 1955. Now comes one of my biggest pet peeves when dealing

with bttf. Marty leaves 1985 on October 26th. He pops out in the

exact same spot in 1955. The problem with this is, as time goes

on, the planet follows an orbit around the sun. So if you were

to travel through time to the same spot, you'd end up missing

the planet entirely and float through space. However instead of

this, we find marty crashing into a barn. They think he's from

outer space and shoot at him, he runs over one of the trees.

(hence the reason twin pines mall becomes lone pine mall later

in the film.)

He makes his way to hill valley in the past which looks like a

norman rockwell painting. He enters the cafe where he vandalizes

their phone book, then he's grilled to buy something. He asks

for a tab. The joke here is tab is a kind of soda that was

popular in marty's era. The gentleman behind the counter thinks

he wants to start a tab for billing. He then requests a pepsi

free. As I stated before pepsi free was a caffeen free pepsi

popular in the 1980s. The diner gentleman doesn't know what that

is either. Two awesome jokes lost to the ravages of time. He

meets chrispin glover who is harassed by biff.

There's an awesome moment of social commentery where the young

mayor goldie wilson decides he'll run for mayor. The diner guy

says "a colored mayor, that'll be the day." Which was a very

common view in those days. Black people weren't accepted as

leaders, it was considered inappropriate. Which 30 years later

in 1985 he is mayor, and it's no longer considered taboo. A

quick moment in the movie, but a powerful example of the

difference between where marty has come from and where he is

now. So marty chases his dad and gets a preview of why he's on

megan's law. He falls out of the tree, marty saves him and gets

hit by a car. He wakes up in the bedroom of a teenage version of

his mother. She flirts with him and talks about his purple

panties and we meet the family. Martys grandfather fixes a tv,

they have dinner, marty's mom tries to grab his junk and he

bolts. He finds doc who is wearing the epcot center on his head.

he explains the situation and after some fighting he shows him

the time machine and he's happy as a pig in shit that it works.

then there's a classic bttf moment 1.21 GIGAWATTS?!?! Doc

realizes that marty has fucked everything up so they create a

plan to get his parents together. No one seems to notice the

white haired pedophile wandering the halls and then another

awkward moment where marty's mom's 1950's panties get soaked for

her son. they keep working on this ill thought plan to merge his

parents. GET YOUR MEAT HOOKS OFF. mARTY DECIDES TO BE AN ALIEN

and tortures his father with music. After 3 1/2 hours of the

movie is spent on trying to convice crispin glover to try to

date Lea Thompson, marty pisses biff off so he runs away. He

steals a kid's scooter. Actually watch this scene, the kid on

the other scooter immediately turns to protect the scooter

before even seeing marty go for it. A small error in the movie,

but it still irritates me. The classic scene where biff and

company try to murder marty in public view, and

shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

Doc seems to have found the time to create a scaled version of

hill valley which he runs a toy car through and blows it up.

Which damn near destroys his home. I have no idea why he does

this. What did he think was going to happen introducing

electrcity to a toy car. It was completely pointless. Stalkermom

finds him and asks him out. And back to crispin glover, and back

to doc. Then we see more classic 1950s african americans dressed

in aluminum foil. marty pulls up with his incestuous mother

where she pulls out booze and cigarettes. Marty's mom busts out

her sexy ass cleavage and jumps on his jock and forces her

tongue down his neck canal. biff shows up and tries to rape

marty's mom. they toss marty in the trunk of the band's car, and

they call the guy a spook, which was a racial slur for black

folk in that era. There's a quic marijuana joke, as they call

the black guys reefer addicts. Keep in mind in this era there

was a lot of misinformation about weed, and it's effects. People

in that era believed that use of marijuana could lead to

insanity. gerorge mcfly belts biff in the fucking face. UGH,

most satisfying punch in cinematic history. and without any

reason everyone at the dance shows up outside. They never

explain why so many people spontaniously appear, but it doesn't

matter george mcfly has his foot in the door of lorannes

panties. instead of walking around people marty pulls a dick

move and runs inbetween two people and here's doc, working on

shit again.

And here's marty playing at the dance, lorrane asks george to

kiss her. Fuck, marty's mom is a fucking slut. This part makes

me laugh, marty raises his hand up to see it vanish, but it's

obviously superimposed over footage, and there's no way that

could be his hand at that angle. I mean look at this. His forarm

would reach his ankle if that was his hand. George and lea

thompson. Then we are treated to a scene of MJF lip syncing to

what obviously isn't his voice. Marty rocks out with his cock

out and everyone stops dancing to silently judge him. marty says

goodby to his parents and gets back to downtown to take the

10:05 train to futureville. There's a few minutes of amazing

writing as the cables detach and doc has to work last minute to

connect them. Real palm sweating goodness. 10:05 shit explodes

and marty is slingshot into the future. One of the things that

bugs me about this is there's 60 seconds in a minute. How did

they know it when it was that the clock got hit? They do state

it was exactly 10:05 pm, but there's no second hand on the

clock. whatever they succeeded, that's all that matters. Marty

throws himself down a hill rather than walk down it and runs to

dead doc, just kidding, he's alive.

Doc drives him home. I'm curious what happend to the libians.

Did they leave them there? Were they hurt? Dead? Did the police

show up? Who knows. Doc bolts ass off to the future and marty

heads home for some well deserved masturbation and sleep. He

cock teases doc (watch that re-entry) Now marty wakes up again

with his fist in his ass and finds his family is completely

different. I kind of feel bad for marty, since his entire

history has now been changed and he can't remember any of it.

Then one of the more bizzare sets of dialouge happen. WE WOULD

HAVE NEVER FALLEN IN LOVE WITH BIFF. Yes, if biff didn't try to

rape you we would have never fallen in love. what the fuck?

Marty finds out he's now the owner of his dream car which

apparently has been parked by an asian, or a woman, or an asian

woman. then marty and jennifer are about to kiss when doc

cockblocks marty. Heh, he doc blocks him. he smashes into a

garbage can which doesn't seem to grab the attention of marty's

family or the neighboorhood. doc, dressed as ronal mcdonal tells

marty that his kids are all fucked up. quick, get in the car

because time travel won't allow for a few minutes of waiting or

explanation. And in complete contrast to his position of not

affecting future events he grabs marty and jennifer and they fly

off to 2015. Where we're going, we don't need roads. "do we

become assholes/jerks or something?"

To be continued.....



bACK TO THE FUTURE 2 came out four years later in 1989. The

world was in the midst of change. Reagan had left office,

replaced by the lame duck George Bush Sr. People were getting

prepared to be part of the 1990s. The day the film came out, In

West Beirut, a bomb explodes near the motorcade of Lebanese

President Rene Moawad, killing him. The world was changing,

growing. People wanted something new, something different. So

Robert Zemekas gave them BTTF2. A brand new spin on the previous

movie while maintaining it's own independence.

There were two modifications to the cast. First and most

notably, George McFly tossed down his ninja smoke ball and

vanished. Crispin Glover, the actor who played George did not

return because they wouldn't give him the money he wanted. So

they told him to go fuck himself and slapped prostetics on

another actor and didn't let george mcfly get too close to the

camera. Gloiver sued them, and due to this lawsuit there are now

clauses in the Screen Actors Guild  agreements which disallow

such methods to reproduce the likeness of other actors.

The second was Claudia Wells who played Jennifer Parker Her mom

was sick, so she sat this one out. In an effort of total

awesomeness, they entire ending scene of back to the future was

reproduced shot for shot with the new actress Elisabeth Shue.

I'll let you decide which one is hotter....

Take your time. If you answered Claudia Wells, you win!

THERE HE IS, FAKE CRISPIN GLOVER. Let me explain real fast why

glover didn't make a return. Glover was offered a really shitty

amount. Less than half of the amount the offered everyone else.

And I have to agree with him, that's a dick move. And slapping a

crispin glover mask onto some guy and filling the role was a

dick move too. Don't worry crispin, I got your back.

So doc shows up like the asshole he is, destroying the mcfly

trash cans. Wow, those people had a lot of garbage. Look at that

shit. Way to destroy the enviroment ASSHOLES. Christopher lyoid

mjf and new girl redo the entire ending of BTTF, then take off

for the future. "where we're going, we don't need, roads" yes,

you said that already jackass.

They get shit out in 2015 to the realm of flying cars. New

jennifer gives this oscar award winning dialouge. Doc gets

jealous of all the attention jennifer is giving marty so he

knocks her out. The excuse why? No one should know too much

about their future. Then why take them to the future you fucking

idiot. Marty asks the obvious question "then what did you bring

her for?" Obviously noticing doc is full of shit. Doc turns the

wheel to the left causing them to exit to the right over an very

dark hill valley. You figure with it being that dark someone

would turn on a light, but wtf ever who cares, anyways.

Doc lands and makes a quick joke about the postal service like

there's going to be one in 2015. Doc flirts with marty about his

face, thus paving way for the director to save money on makup

costs for christopher lyoid. They have more interactions then

doc asks take off your shirt. Is that a phone booth?

Doc furthers his plans to claim marty's heart by suggesting they

dump jennifer in the alley for no apparent reason. He could have

easily left her in the fucking car, but instead he leaves her

out for Lord Humongous and crew to rape.

Doc gives him a big speech about not fucking with anything,

which is in vast contrast with the whole point of bringing him

to the future to begin with. If you didn't want him to interact

with the future, don't bring him for the love of fuck.... I mean

couldn't you just have told him in 1985, by the way, try to

raise your kids right or they'll end up in fucking jail. But no,

he concocts this asinine plot to use marty as a doppleganger for

his son to simply say "no." I mean fuck, doc could have just as

easily told marty's kid "hey, that shit you're polaning on

doing, don't fucking do it. And if he decides to anyways break

into his room in the middle of the night in a radiation suit and

torture him with music.

We learn marty's stupid son gets 15 years for theft. That's a

damn long stretch for theft. Marty asks the obvious question are

we just going to leave here in this fucking alley alone. Doc

decides to leave her in an alley, unsupervised, when he could

have easily left her in the car. You're a fucking idiot dr.

brown.

Then we are treated to another classic BTTF reveal shots.

Mirroring the one in 1955. This is another prime example why

robert zemekis is a fucking genious and a thousand times better

than people directing CGI filled clusterfucks like today's

cinemas. This single scene of marty in the future caputres the

hearts and imaginations of children and adults alike, rather

thank capturing their wallets and stealing precious hours of

their lives. The texico rattles off in 1980s text to speach

programs, a giant late 1980s computer generated shark tries to

bite marty's nuts

Then mayor goldie soul train wilson the third tells people that

traffic is a thing of the past. Remember that. Marty checks out

a window with old nintendo games, an old mac, and roger rabbit

toys. Which is another movie by robert zemekis. And OMG it's

Dragnet. The 1987 floptastic voyage into the realm of horrible

directing. That movie is so fucking bad it hurts.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

marty segways into cafe 80s and is greeted by a tv of ronald

regan in the style of max hedroom. Max hedroom was a 1980s meme

of a guy in a plastic had with quick cuts and audio

modifications. The future tvs are paying tribute to that, which

is a joke lost on people under the age of 30. Ronal regan

splitscreens with Ayatollah Khomeini, the dick leader of Iran in

that era. He is also sean connery. There's also a michael

jackson one, as this movie predates the stigma mj got in 1993.

Quick product placement for pepsi and we're intrduced to two

kids wearing whatever they had available in the costumes

department. Also this kid is none other than frodo baggins

himself elijah woods who makes his acting debue here. He is also

at his lifetime maximum height if I'm not mistaken.

Marty's kid, also played by MJF gets beat up and acts like

mathew brodrick in the producers. Tom wilsin, who plays all the

tannens absolutely owns the character of Griff, who is batshit

crazy. We're treated to the chase scene from basck to the future

1 in 2015, a magnificent omage to the original movie. Marty once

again grabs a strange child and steals their mode of

transportation. Marty grabs the jurassic park jeep.

Then we are told that boards don't work on water. Duh you bojo.

Unless you got power, HAHAHAHA. I love the cars in marty's 2015.

If things keep going the way they are, these slick, awesome

looking cars will be replaced with this horseshit (cube) Griff

and company do a bone fracturing flying leap into the window,

and come out fine, oh look time has changed and we can be sure

marty jr will never ever involve himself in self destructive

behaviour ever again.

Marty climbs out of the water then walks up the stairs from

underground. Then a pedophile tells him to commit more time

fracturing crimes by betting on sports. great idea double tie

guy. We're forced to deal with more of doc's stupid moments. He

pulls up and this happens (hey marty, blah blah blah" Coiuldn't

you have just landed and called it a win? Fuck doc, it's so hard

to keep up with your retarded moments. Doc takes a picture of

charizard and they find cops about to cart jennifer off. You

know this wouldn't have happened if you hadn't left her alone in

a fucking alley while knocked out you morons. "what, we tell

them we're time travelers?" No, if they can scan her thumb the

can scan marty's and he can grab her and toss her ass in the

car. Use some common sense.

"jennifer could meet herself, disasterous, yet biff can do it as

much as he likes. Sky way is jammed, didn't didn't goldie x say

traffic wasn't an issue. lying motherfucker. So off we go to

hilldale where the sewers are paved with neon. And the batons

have neon. and police hats have taken on jobs that used to be

done by blimps. And yes, that is mjf in drag. "daddy threw him

out when he called him a chicken" Why the fuck would anyone

repairing a tv call someone a chicken. Oh that's right, it's a

way to segway into the fact that marty can't handle people

thinking he's afraid.

I'm unsure why doc feels the need to sneak around. I mean for

fucks sake marty has already travelled through time. He told doc

to look him up in the future. Couldn't he just knock and go,

"hey, it's your old pal doc, remember me? Hey, Could you guys

turn a blind eye while a smuggle someone out of your house? No,

doc has to keep up this appearance of attempting to not fuck

with natural events. Which he ignored earlier that day by having

marty play the role of his son. Wait a sec. They have a time

machine, why didn't they travel back before jennifer got picked

up? Then he could have shocked marty's son a second time, and he

wouldn't have shown up at the cafe 80s.

BTTF2 predicts the future rather well right here by showing a

flatscreen tv mounted on the wall with the ability to see

multiple channels. They even predicted the decline of the

television's hold on youth.

oh whatever so doc is off to rescue jennifer and marty decides

to stand in the middle of the street facing away from the time

machine for a good few minutes so biff can steal it. he also

seems to have lost his sense of hearing as biff crashes into

everything nearby.

Then Flea from red hot chili peppers appears on marty's tv. No

joke, that is Flea from red hot chili peppers. Also more future

predictions as all of a person' personal information is

displayed on the screen. Thanks facebook. All the futuristic dot

matrix printers deficate you're fired. Biff appears on an

obviously prop car and has a heart attack.

Why did he feel the need to return to 2015? Since when was biff

a guy who cared about being sneaky? He could have just left them

there in 2015. Just watch this small moment where the car lands.

Look at that. Done completely without computers. This movie is

fucking awesome. Marty heads home after a long day of destroying

timel;ines and hops in his window to find his family has been

replaced by black people. Crispin glover's cousin danny glover

tries to turn marty into patte and marty bolts. We are then

treated by the third version of this scene where marty crosses

the street and almost gets hit. We are show biffs casino, which

apparently is surrounded by third world nation. This is a bit

off, considering most casinos are nice, clean, bright places

with security. This casino is a diamon sitting in a turd. But

whatever. This spot in the movie had a scene where marty runs

into his older brother who seems to have become a street bum.

Sorry you got cut from the mobie dawg. It's also right next to a

toxic waste plant. Where the posionous fumes float up into the

casino where biff lives. marty meets his mom's tits and biff

yells a bunch. Here's more classic BTTF detail orented goodness.

These three thugs are the same three thugs from 1955. We find

out crispin glover is dead, which is why he wasn't in this

movie.

Doc explains on a chart the time shift because apparently marty

is retarded. He confronts biff in a hot tub with two soggy 80's

broads tries to kill marty,
Tom wilson rocking the scene again with his psychotic nature.

perfection.

biff gets smacked in the fucking mouth with a deloreon door a

doorloreon. Since it doesn't matter, you know, since this

timeline won't exist when they fix it, why not just grab biff

and toss his ass over the side of the building? or shoot him

with the gun. Or shoot him and toss his ass over the side of the

building. Missed oppertunity. Off to 1955 again.

Marty says "it was like i was here yesterday." True dumb marty.

Let me go through the chain of events real fast:

marty leaves 1955 to go to 1985. He sleeps in until 10:28 in the

morning. He gets up, sees a truck parked all retarded in his

garage, doc shows up. They go to the future, they end up in the

future until nightime. They go back to 1985 at night. They dick

around in alternate 1985 and head back to 1955 within a few

hours. So not only has it been little more than a day, it also

was yesterday that he was there. So when he says ""it was like i

was here yesterday." he sounds like a retard. Anywho, marty

dresses like a blues brother

Biff shouts out the mating call of the trailor park. and finds

old him in ghis car. they go home, he gives him the book, marty

gets locked in the garage, they go to the dance, marty stalks

biff, mistakenly thinks strickland has the book, then he ens up

watching himself on stage but notices that biffs goons are going

to jump his other self, so he rsponds by causing more internal

injuries on them. Fucxk marty! They fly up in the deloron and

there's a tense battle to the death inside the tunnel. Biff

tries to murder marty again, and doc uses his magical powers of

clarvoyance to drop marty a lifeline just in time. They burn the

book and biff smashes into a truck full of shit again.

Another classic bttf moment as marty burns the book, and the

biffco empire vanishes in place of his auto detailing business.

Doc gets hit by lightning. And marty is stuck in 1955. Again. It

begins to rain when the world's most threatening package

delivery guy. He holds a seventy year old letter out in the rain

to turn into pulp before marty can read it, then ignoring the

fact that he could grab a ride with the package delivery guy he

runs to hill valley in the rain to inform 1955 doc that he

fucked up and got himself marooned again. And thus ends chapter

2. What is cool about the end of this film was that when you

went to see it they showed a trailor for the next film . I was a

little kid in the theater and I remember seeing this happen, it

was magical. Thank you robert zemekas

to be concluded.....

The third movie opens with the old style universal logo. We get

lucky again that they replay the last scene of the previous

movie, just like the previous movie. It's a perfect setup. Marty

scares the shit out of doc by announcing his return from the

future. In response dock falls the fuck over unconcious.

One thing I haven't mentioned that I love about these movies is

each one has an initial credit sequence at the beginning of each

film, and it sets the mood for what's coming. BTTF1 began with a

tv report and clocks, setting up information which will come

into play later. BTTF2 there was a ride through the clouds that

signified that we were in the future, and the sky is the limit.

And BTTF3 starts off with a slow, relaxing raining sequence.

Making you feel at ease, after two movies of adreniline pumping,

palm sweating action.

We are awoken by howdy doody, a television show in the 1950s

featuring a puppet. doc starts rambling like a scitzophrenic to

himself, marty surprises him, and more amazing writing here, as

doc falls back on the organ, playing notes of doom. Marty

attempts to explain how he keeps fucking up in every time period

he's in. They mirror the same scene of marty meeting 1955 doc

from the first film, even calling marty future boy.

doc ignores the previous issue he had reading something that

told his future by reading the letter he wrote to marty. Ok, so

the flying circuits are fried, does that mean when he arrived in

1885 he just dropped from the sky? How did he and the car

survive?

Doc writes very specifically that he doesn't want marty to come

save him. "they would have burned me at the stake. Uhhh, yeah,

maybe if you were in europe. The native americans would have

worshipped you as a god and you would have spent the rest of

your life balls deep in pocahontas.

Doc and marty go deep inside doc's cave, and they locate the

deloreon. Doc makes a racist remark and the load up the 70 year

old deloreon. And OH NO DOC IS DEAD CHANGE OF PLANS OFF TO THE

PAST TO FUCK UP SHIT WORSE. Jesus fucking christ marty. after

you fix the deloreon and replace the tires i'm bringing you

home. Doc fires off a gun that he should have given to marty and

he's off to destroy more of the future.

INDIAAAAAAAAAAAAAANS. they're called native americans you

fucking racist. Marty gets all up in the cave when the desert

cave dwealling brown bear scares the shit out of him. Marty does

a nose dive off a cliff and knocks himself out, and another

mirror scene is done.

Now, here's a scene that bugs me a bit. Lea thompson, who played

marty's mother in the first two films is now playing the role of

his great great grandmother, maggie mcfly. Now, this might not

strike you at first, but Marty's mom wasn't a mcfly, she was a

bates. Shamus mcfly, marty's great great grandfather should

resemble marty. Maggie should not look like marty's side of the

family. Unless incest comes into play which isn't completely out

of the question in this trilogy.

So marty is at the mcfly farm, which is pretty impressive since

strictland says no myfly ever amounted to anything, lying fuck

and maggie gets pissed off and marty goes to town and watches

men bathe and sees the courthouse being built. He plows through

some horseshit and heads into the bar to track it all over.

Marty meets mad dog tannen. They taunt him, marty pisses him off

and dumps a spitoon of saliva and tobacco on him. Marty nearly

knocks some dude off his horse, which could have killed him,

destroying the future again. What if that was jennifer's great

great oh what the fuck ever so they attempt to homocide marty to

death and doc exposes his position as a spawn camper. "what

idiot dressed you like that?" You did. Apparently doc can't

remember back to 1955. Maybe it's a timeline thing. But wait he

could remember marty in 1985 after his first trip to 1955.

ARGHHHHHHHHH

doc takes him home, and doc gets all kinds of offended at marty

for suggesting that he might have a girlfriend. He finally has

marty where he wants him, and no woman can tear a hole in their

love. Oh yeah and marty tore a hole in the gas tube so they're

both royally fucked. Except for one thing. Gasoline is a

byproduct of distiling petrolium. Petrolium had started being

drilled in america 26 years earlier in pennsyvania. The first

continental railroad was finished 15 years earlier. Both of

these would be known by doc who can make the world's first ice

cube. So all they needed to do was get the deloreon, take it to

the railroad, load it up, take it to pennsylvania, buy some

petrolium, distill it, pop it into the car and off to 1985. But

nooo, doc opts in on the plan to do everything but this common

sense route.

So they try horses at first who's top speed is around 40 miles

per hour, which doc admits then doc fills the tank with whiskey

which blows part of the 70 year old deloreons off. So doc comes

up with the batshit plan to use a train.
doc talks 4th dementionally, but ignores that califonia is on a

fault line, and general age of railroad tracks and such, there's

a likelyhood when the train appears in 1985 it would clip the

tracks or appear inside of the tracks ripping the car apart.

Doc, you fucking anus.

then ria pearlman, I mean Mary Steenburgen is about to get

murdered by horses when doc saves her. She's supposed to be

thirty, but looks like she's 50, and doc is between 70-75 years

old. So the sudden creepy romance starts. Marty cockblocks doc

for once and we are treated to another one of doc's shitty

models.

then zztop tears it up 1885 style, doc and marty get their

picture taken with the clock that'll get zapped 70 years from

now. Clara shows up and doc stares at her like a jogger rapist.

Then marty murders the fuck out of some fake people, when mad

dog and troops show up. Mr. strickland's ancestor, marshal

strickland tells biff guns or gtfo with a shotgun to the face.

There is a cut scene from bttf3 where tannen and company kill

the marshal. They removed it because they thought it was just

too damn sad.

marty makes note of the frizbee pie plate. There used to be a

half true urban legend that frizbees were created from people

using frizbree pie plates as, well, frizbees. However it's

unlikely that these plates would have made it to southern

california, as they came from conneticut. But it's mostly just a

plot device, and thus it can be ignored.

mad dog pulls out the world's smallest gun and attempts to kill

doc, and he trigger's the marty switch of courage when calling

him yella. They arrange a playdate and mad dog splits. Doc acts

creepy some more.

Oh yeah, the name is disappearing off  the tombstone in the

picture. much like the picture of marty and his siblings

vanished in the firs bttf. Doc announces he's going to stay

behind in 1885. Marty smacks some sense into him and they

prepare the deloreon. Doc announces he's going back to the

future to clara she gets pissed off. Doc gets shitfaced.

they try waking him up when biff, i mean mad dog shows up. marty

checks the photo to see he's going to get killdafied. marty

finally realizes that he doesn't always have to respond and

gracefully hauls ass out the back door.

they hold doc hostage and clara attempts to murder a train full

of people, and here comes marty to confront mad dog. mad dog

murders marty, lol jk marty rished his life with a tiny piece of

metal and gives mad dog an extreme beatdown. Manure makes it's

appearence for this film as mad dog does a nose dive into a cart

of it. they bolt ass for the train, because now that mad dog is

going to get hung there's no way they couldn't wait for another

train. PLOT HOLE

clara goes off to destroy their plan as they steal the train.

Doc tosses in the magic fire logs and clara pulls the whistle

and damn near falls off of the thing, ugh. Women. Can't you do

anything right?

at 1/4 of a mile at the speed they are going woilfd be in the

range of 15-25 seconds until they hit the end of the tracks. doc

misses the train to thre future.

marty appears in the future just in time to not get hit by a

train shit if they had set the time circuits just ten seconds

earlier marty would have gone boom through time and hit the

train head on. The train liquifyes the time machine then

continues on without stopping.

marties family runs out to the car while not crispin glover

hangs out far away from the camera. Marty goes to wake up

jennifer prince charming style. Jennifer quizes marty about

weither or not it was real. Then flea challenges him to a race.

Rather than decline the race he risk his and jennifer's lives by

pealing out backwards andflipping his truck around, which could

have easily tipped over due to how high the suspention of that

vehicle is.

marty takes jennifer to view the corpse of the deloreon which

they never cleaned up because the train never stopped or called

the authorities.

there's a sad, heartaching moment where marty is coming to terms

with the fact that he'll never see doc again. doc appears

blowing them on their asses and we are treated to one of the

most heartwarming moments in a movie ever, as doc and marty get

their closure. Verne looks incredibly uncomfortable, and it

looks like he's trying to gain the attention of someone off

camera. Poor kid.

marty asks doc where he's going and doc takes off in a flying

train, and thus the third chapter of this trilogy comes to an

end.