A Friend in Need

Hey buddy how's it go- Oh shit. Are you ok? Have you been crying? <groan> Let me guess, you just got off the phone with your girlfriend. Come on, come on it's okay you can talk to me. I'm not gonna judge so don't try and act like you're all macho and you never cry, I know you better than that. I'm gonna make a bet that you told her you couldn't go home to see her this weekend and she got pissed at you and started lashing out again. Right? You two are all fine and dandy until she doesn't get her way then she goes into cunt mode on you and she starts kicking below the belt. Gas is fucking expensive and it's a four hour drive from campus for you to see her, she can't expect you to be home every weekend.

<playfully flirty> Besides, part of college is living it up and having fun, right?

What? I'm not doing anything!I'm just trying to lift your spirits and cheer you up. You didn't do anything wrong. You have to live your life too. A relationship should be give and take, not just you give and she takes. You've been bending over backwards to see her like twice a month all semester, has she ever come to visit you? Why not? Oh, you don't want her seeing <sarcastic and playfully suggestive>all these hot pieces of college ass walking around? It might make her jealous and she'd try harder to keep her man... Yeah, or she'd just get hyper jealous and accuse you of cheating every time you don't answer her texts in less than a minute. What? She already thinks you're cheating? I've hung out with you since move in day and you haven't so much as had an extended gaze toward another girl! She's probably projecting, you know? Whenever someone throws out random accusations of cheating, they're generally the unfaithful ones. She's a senior in high school, right? She probably has the pick of the liter down there. That slut-bag ho-beast probably lays spread eagle on the bench in the locker room while the football team runs train on her!

Ok, ok! I'll be nice! Even though she's not nice to me! Every time I tag you in a pic on facebook she gets all possessive and bitchy like I'm fucking you. No, don't even tell me that's not the case! I walk in on you crying from her being a bitch and hear you are defending her, and she has the nerve to think you're unfaithful? It pisses me off because you're a great guy putting so much time and emotion into something that's not going to work.

Besides... <more directly trying to seduce> if I was trying to steal you I could make you forget her god damn name in five minutes. Flirting? <laughter>No no no, I'm not flirting. I'm telling you a straight up fact. The second my lips wrap around your cock would be the second you get over that jealous little bitch. The moment you slide into my pussy would be the moment you see the opportunities in front of you instead of the drama behind you. By the time your balls seize up and empty all over me, you'll forget you ever had a girlfriend.

No, no I'm not fucking around. If she's gonna convict you of fucking other girls and punish you for it... you should at least have the fun of enjoying the crime you're accused of, right? Come on, I can see the sweat on your forehead, I can see something stirring in your pants. Come here, let me do the math for you. I want you to fuck me. You want you to fuck me. <rubbing his hardon through his pants> This guy wants you to fuck me. And the only thing that even makes you hesitate is a sinking relationship with a jealous unappreciative high school cunt who's probably cheating on you. Now, what's going to happen is you're going to sit back, relax, and allow yourself to remember what it feels like to be appreciated.

<fumbling with belt buckle, sliding pants and boxers down> You won't be needing these, will you? There you go, You're so fucking hard already! <excited moaning> Mmmmmm you have very delicious looking cock! To think you've been wasting it on her! No more! <licking, kissing> This is yours, not hers. <sucking the head> You do with it as you please, not as she pleases! <taking it all in, long, drawn out sucking> Shit! <catching breath> You're even thicker than you look. Mmmmmmm... No shit I'm better than her! I fucking hope I'd be! <continued sucking and slurping, however long you wish it to be.>

Ohhhh fuck this! I need you inside me! Ah ah ah! Why are you getting up? Awww, you're so cute! <kissing> You're not an indentured servant anymore, you don't have to do all the work in the bedroom. Sit down! Good, and let me just sit back her aaaaaannnnnddddd <slowly sitting down on it> ohhhhhhhhh God Oh God yes! God damn it this is a good dick... <moaning as the riding begins> She probably didn't even know what to do with aaaaallllll this! You're.... you're funny, you're.... sweet, you're cute... and ... and... <moaning and grunting, louder and louder> and you're packing the kind of heat nine out ten girls on this campus would ... would jump on in a second!

<bouncing harder and harder, beginning to scream> WHAT'S HER FUCKING NAME? YOU DON'T KNOW, DO YOU? WHAT'S YOUR ANNIVERSARY? OHHHHH FUCK OH FUCK THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT! WHAT'D SHE GET YOU FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? YOU DON'T REMEMBER! I'LL TELL YOU THE ANSWER: DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER! SHE'S THE PAST AND THE FUTURE IS RIGHT. FUCKING. ON. TOP. OF YOU! Mmmmm play with my tits! Play with my tits while I drain you of every ounce of "give a fuck" you had for that little cunt! Oh God give it to me, give it to me! Yes! Yes!

<improv sex until orgasm>

<catching breath> So... now what are you gonna do? <laughter> Text her it's over and delete her number? That's a good answer baby, but the correct answer is follow me to your shower and begin round two!