spamton gets a [HOT NEW DEAL]

Alone, he was [100% CERTIFIED, NO CASH BACK GUARANTEED] Alone. He had achieved his [WILDEST DREAMS] and attained [FREEDOM] and broke his strings through his DETERMINATION. With his newfound [OVER 9000] power he had sought to stop a [BIG SHOT] from bringing an end to his world. He would have been [100% VICTORY GUARANTEED] until a [HOCHI MAMA] put him on [ICE ICE BABY]. They thought him [NO CASH BACK] but he was still aware, the entire time. He watched as the people he called friends, his former [HOT N READY SALESMEN] stood around him, as the world was consumed by the darkness they gathered around him, a last bastion to stave off their unfair fates.

Yet he could do nothing but watch, all this power, all this [FREEDOM] and he could do nothing but watch as the darkness encroached upon him and his friends and coworkers turned to stone until finally he stood alone, frozen in the dark. He had wanted to see past the dark, to look into [HEAVEN] and now he was stuck here, determined enough to avoid his unfair fate but yet still not powerful enough to break out. As he slowly began to stop thinking, an entity appeared before him with a voice that was familiar and unfamiliar to him all at once.

"Interesting....This dark world has been consumed back into the darkness and yet you still remain, is it her magic that keeps you from being consumed? Or is it something else?" He felt [STEAM PIPE SCREECHING] inside of him, he wanted to break out, to attack this man, but he couldn't.

"Now now, i'm not here to cause trouble, I'm here to give you....how you say...a second chance. There is a certain calamity approaching all worlds and I need....someone to send to help in this endeavor. Before you argue, not that you can, you don't have a choice. It's either this or spend eternity here in the dark, surrounded by the remnants of what once was." The entity smiled as Spamton raged, yet this rage abated as the entity placed a hand on him and he felt his worldview warp and twist until he found himself...somewhere entirely different, free from the Ice that encased him.