When I open my eyes, I'm floating in the air in an inky, black void. The air feels cold to the touch,  my body shivering as I instinctively hugged myself. My first thought was that this was an awfully vivid nightmare and that someone must have left the AC on overnight. I was more than a little alarmed when I wasn't quite waking up, and that pinching myself had about the same amount of pain as it would if I did it normally.

A single star twinkled into existence in the empty void, far and away from reach. Then another. And another. Soon, the emptiness was full of shining stars, and I found myself staring in wonder. I had momentarily forgotten about the biting cold at this breath-taking sight before a wooden door slammed itself into my face, making me fall over and land on a tile ground. I'm pretty sure that wasn't there before. Also, OW.

Standing up and not having much better to do, I opened the door. Inside was a room with several televisions stacked on top of each other, with a short figure wrapped in a blanket playing on an old NES while seven different games played out on the screen. They turned around and looked at me, blinking twice with a piece of pocky in their mouth.

I stared at her. She stared back at me. Then she picked up a controller laying on the floor and offered it to me. "Want to play?"

"So you're some kind of cosmic being…?" I asked, staring at her in confusion, holding the controller as I sat nearby. We were playing two player Battletoads and it was just as frustrating as I'd expect it to be.

"Is that what humans call it, now?" She wondered aloud. The game then changed into Spy vs Spy mid-beat, making me fumble the controller. "That's what I am. I don't usually talk to humans anymore, though."

"How come?"

"I can't," She said. "I can't enter the world as you know it without breaking too many things. I don't like broken things, I want to just watch and talk to things. Everyone gets too scared or desperate whenever I show up somewhere. Sometimes they put on funny hats and try to give me weird gifts so I'll do nice things for them. It's funny, but it gets old too fast."

"Sounds rough," I reply, almost absentmindedly. This entire experience was incredibly surreal and I had so many questions, but I felt like spoiling the atmosphere was a terrible idea. Also, I wasn't sure if she could read minds.

"Mmm. What about you?" She asked. The game abruptly changed into Ace Combat from the PS2, making control with an NES controller change into a total nightmare. She wasn't having any real trouble, though.

"Well, uh…I'm nothing special, really. Just an everyday guy without much to his name. I'm kind of bland, really," I admitted with a sheepish laugh, still trying to figure out how I was supposed to pilot a plane without a proper analog stick. This distracted me enough at the time I didn't notice the confusion in her eyes.

"Really? But you're down here, with me."

"Well, I guess…but I don't know how I got here. Is it alright if you send me back?" I asked, politely.

"Mmm…I could. But…" She looked thoughtful for a second before a dawning realization appeared on her face. "Ne, you want to be more than just an ordinary guy, don't you?"

Against my better judgment, I nod on instinct. "Kinda, yeah. But I don't see-"

"Do you wanna be someone awesome?" She asked, a big smile on her face.

Why did I feel a sinking in my stomach?

"I wanna play something else. And it'll make you super strong, super smart, super whatever-it-is!"

"Superhuman…?" I asked, warily.

"All kinds of super! You'll go around, meet people, see people, punch people, kiss people, build people, eat people!"

"What was that last one?! I mean, uh, that's a very nice offer but I should really be getting-"

"Don't be so modest!" She said with a Cheshire Cat smile, clapping her hands together as my body began to glow and float upwards, with me flailing about and protesting all the while. "You're gonna be my Jumper!"

My protests were drowned out by being tossed through the Infinite Worlds like a bullet, the stars and sagas of the many worlds shooting past me before I collided facefirst with my first jump…

And here I am.

Age: 27
Origin: Drop-In
Perks:
I'll Allow It
Objection! [1050]
Sidekick [850]
Civil Procedure [700]
Perceive [300]
Great Revival [50]

Items:
Attorney's badge
Sharp Suits
Office
Wad of Cash [0]

Drawbacks:
Accident Prone [1100]

When I came to, there was a dead body in front of me. No, that wasn't quite accurate. Rather, I was sitting on top of it like a fucking dolt. The smell of death assaulted my nostrils and I stood up in horror at what had happened. Did my crash landing kill the poor son of a bitch? I barely have time to contemplate my surroundings before Detective Gumshoe of all people burst in through the door. I screamed. Gumshoe screamed. The police were screaming. And then I was in handcuffs.

As the reality of my situation sank in, I tried pleading to the one who had sent me here, but I didn't get a response. That's right, she probably can't talk back to me now. So I had to defend myself while not knowing an inkling of l--wait, no, that wasn't true. I had some of the basics in my head, now. Even some things that hadn't shown up in the actual games. But I was in the world of Phoenix Wright, and I had no plucky protagonist to be the one supporting me.

Since I was locked up, I couldn't get evidence…but I was helped by the fact the primary witness and the one who called the police in the first place was both a nervous wreck and a complete idiot. I obviously couldn't use the argument that I had appeared from another world, so I managed to make a believable story about scaling the walls on a dare since the crime scene was near the office I suddenly always had. The Judge bought it, even if Prosecutor Payne didn't. Then I pointed out that according to forensics, the internal damage caused to the corpse would have to be more severe than a grown man falling on him to be murder, and there was no evidence suggesting I had used a nearby weapon.

It later turned out that the murderer was the witness (surprise) and his elaborate murder plot was dropping a literal piano on the victim and then throwing the wreckage out in a nearby garbage disposal. I sincerely wish I was making that up. And it took a rookie lawyer with exactly one hour of experience to point this out to the police. I had sincerely forgotten how silly and stupid this setting could be at times, but seeing it up close is a little surreal. I could feel tiny bits of that contempt I had for people back home crawling back in.

I went to my office and made a makeshift bed for myself as I digested the events of the past day or two, hoping I'd wake up back home once I opened my eyes again. No such luck, but hey, now I had somewhere I could sleep with relative peace and quiet. It wasn't all bad.

That's when a girl with blonde hair burst into my office, flipped my desk over onto me, and then pointed at me and said she had a case for me. This lady was Katrina Wellengood, who would later become my first companion.

Much to my eternal peril.