pumpkinhorse426Last Wednesday at 8:17 PM
everyone keeps telling me i should talk to you
Eli 𐒢Last Wednesday at 8:18 PM
who is? and about what?
pumpkinhorse426Last Wednesday at 8:18 PM
jay and wishi
and riley
and i say everyone because theyre the only people who talk to me anymore
Eli 𐒢Last Wednesday at 8:19 PM
I see. what would you like to talk about?
pumpkinhorse426Last Wednesday at 8:19 PM
i dont know
they just said i should talk to you
and that i should try to clear this up or something
they were all vague about it
Eli 𐒢Last Wednesday at 8:21 PM
I think I understand what they're talking about.
pumpkinhorse426Last Wednesday at 8:22 PM
what?

Eli 𐒢Last Wednesday at 8:23 PM
I think they're trying to tell you that all the stuff I did was what they told me to do
I don't really have much of a stake in this, I don't even slightly dislike you.
All the stuff that I was personally responsible for, like the 'sodomizing the server rule,' me and the mods discussed beforehand
so I jsut wanna clear that up, that I'm not your personal satan who hates you.
that aside, what hoshi was mainly talking about was talking to plum mainly, getting some closure
specifically with amanda, since I believe you two were friends at one time, or at least mutuals.
pumpkinhorse426Last Wednesday at 8:25 PM
amanda is a lying piece of shit
Eli 𐒢Last Wednesday at 8:26 PM
we can talk more about whatever's going on between you and me if you like, I'd be more than happy to, but hoshi thinks that you gotta power through the whole lying bit to at least try talking to her
pumpkinhorse426Last Wednesday at 8:26 PM
no
i refuse to talk to people like her
and i wouldnt gain anything from it anyways
shes already made everyone hate me
now everyone thinks im a terrible person and an abuser
shes the reason my last friend hates me now
shes the reason cavan hates me
shes the reason i have no friends anymore
so im not going to talk to that piece of shit again
Eli 𐒢Last Wednesday at 8:30 PM
do you know exactly what she said to momo?
pumpkinhorse426Last Wednesday at 8:31 PM
she sent screenshots from wishis server without context
Eli 𐒢Last Wednesday at 8:31 PM
like what?
like did she show you or something?
pumpkinhorse426Last Wednesday at 8:31 PM
and obviously convinced momo that im a terrible person because they unfriended me and banned me from their server before i could defend myself
they just said amanda sent screenshots
Eli 𐒢Last Wednesday at 8:32 PM
so here's the deal right
1 sec sorry
don't wait on me to respond this might take a bit sorry
pumpkinhorse426Last Wednesday at 8:34 PM
ok
pumpkinhorse426Last Wednesday at 9:20 PM
how long are you going to take?
because im not going to be on much longer
Eli 𐒢Last Wednesday at 9:22 PM
sorry chores
pumpkinhorse426Last Wednesday at 9:22 PM
its alright
ill be on for a little while
Eli 𐒢Last Wednesday at 9:23 PM
so like
do you still wanna be friends with momo?
pumpkinhorse426Last Wednesday at 9:24 PM
of course
Eli 𐒢Last Wednesday at 9:24 PM
because if you want a chance to defend yourself or explain things to her, I could talk to amanda and see if we could arrange an opportunity
you don't even know what specifically was said
and she may or may not know that cavan said you weren't abusive

pumpkinhorse426Last Wednesday at 9:25 PM
if she didnt that is still unforgivable
and my reputation will still be ruined
everything has already been ruined
Eli 𐒢Last Wednesday at 9:28 PM
So what's the harm in trying?
If it's really as bruined as you say, it can't possibly get any worse
pumpkinhorse426Last Wednesday at 9:28 PM
whats the point in trying
Eli 𐒢Last Wednesday at 9:28 PM
because of the possiblity of being friends with momo again?(edited)
that's the point.
pumpkinhorse426Last Wednesday at 9:29 PM
momo has already been convinced im a terrible person
and if amanda is taking screenshots out of context and lying about me being an abuser i doubt she wants to talk
Eli 𐒢Last Wednesday at 9:29 PM
yeah you doubt
but you don't know
and if there's actually no way your life could get worse you're looking at it either continuing to be as bad and maintain the statuys quo, or gewt better.
no drawback whatsoever.
if you had a free 1% chance to win a million dollars just by talking to someone for a few minutes, and there were no drawbacks, would you try?
pumpkinhorse426Last Wednesday at 9:31 PM
how do i even talk to her
what do i say
"hey if you could not lie about me abusing people and saying im a terrible person that would be cool"?
Eli 𐒢Last Wednesday at 9:32 PM
no
you don't talk to her.
pumpkinhorse426Last Wednesday at 9:32 PM
what
Eli 𐒢Last Wednesday at 9:32 PM
I'll set up everything, I'll talk to amanda.
and I'll try to hgive you that chance to set things straight with momo.
but you gotta promise not to blow up, and not to get mad if they say you're wrong. Just acknowledge that you disagree and ask them why they feel that way.
if you really want momo to be friends with you again, you'd do this.
pumpkinhorse426Last Wednesday at 9:34 PM
so im supposed to be cool with people saying i abused my boyfriend
im not going to be nice with that piece of shit
Eli 𐒢Last Wednesday at 9:34 PM
you don't have to.
but here's the thing right
if someone presents evidence that you're abusive, it obviously looks bad if you shout and cuss at them as opposed to respectifully disagreeing and proiving them wrong.
you know this.
and I know you know how to handle talking to momo.
pumpkinhorse426Last Wednesday at 9:36 PM
there is no evidence
Eli 𐒢Last Wednesday at 9:36 PM
you feel that she's been lied to, that she doesn't know the truth.
right exactly
so if you really think she's been misled, then you should be able to set things straight by telling her the truth.
pumpkinhorse426Last Wednesday at 9:36 PM
momo doesnt forgive people
Eli 𐒢Last Wednesday at 9:36 PM
you even have me asking amanda to have her talk to you and cavan saying you werent abusive to back you up
pumpkinhorse426Last Wednesday at 9:37 PM
they completely disconnect them from their life and forgets about them(edited)
Eli 𐒢Last Wednesday at 9:37 PM
well her'es your opportunity to reconnect.
because she'll have someone she respects asking her to listen.
and even if she hasn't forgiven in the past, humans aren't machines that always behave 100% along a set behavior.
it's that small chance that we're going for, all it is is talking. worst case, nothing changes, best case, you get your friend back.
I'm giving you this chance dude, don't toss it in the trash
pumpkinhorse426Last Wednesday at 9:39 PM
i guess
Eli 𐒢Last Wednesday at 9:43 PM
all right, I'll go ahead and talk to amanda.
pumpkinhorse426Last Wednesday at 9:44 PM
ok
Eli 𐒢Last Wednesday at 9:46 PM
can't guarantee it will be tonight, but I will tell her at least.
pumpkinhorse426Last Wednesday at 9:46 PM
ok
pumpkinhorse426Last Wednesday at 10:10 PM
im going to sleep so i cant do it tonight
Eli 𐒢Last Wednesday at 10:25 PM
no problem good night
sleep tight
dont let the bed bugs bite
October 18, 2018
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 1:33 PM
i fractured my arm so if you dm me and i dont respond dont be surprised
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 1:33 PM
ok
sorry to ehar that
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 1:50 PM
yeah
it doesnt feel very good
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 7:55 PM
did amanda even respond?
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 8:00 PM
yeah, she's gonna work on that
I'll get back to you when I know the timeline
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 8:01 PM
what does "she's gonna work on that" mean?
and what timeline?
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 8:02 PM
she's going tot alk to momo
and by timeline I mean I'll let yuou know when I klnow when thigns are gonna start happening'
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 8:03 PM
why would she talk to momo?
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 8:04 PM
to get momo to talk to you
like we discussed
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 8:05 PM
i thought you said amanda was going to talk to me
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 8:05 PM
I said she wasn't.
I will talk to her to set things up so you can explain your side of the story to momo like you wanted
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 8:06 PM
oh ok
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 8:17 PM
wait
why would amanda get momo to talk to me?
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 8:17 PM
because she's not a total shithead?
because we'd like to be able to get you to have friends,a dn I asked her to help
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 8:18 PM
she hates me
or atleast thats the impression when she tries her hardest to ruin my reputation
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 8:19 PM
well clearly that's not entirely true if she's willing to help you out
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 8:19 PM
i dont like this
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 8:19 PM
maybe she's not so malicious as you think?
she's trying to help
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 8:19 PM
shes tried her hardest to get me away from momo and suddenly she wants to get them to talk to me?
that doesnt sound right
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 8:20 PM
she didn't try anything, she showed momo the things you were doing because she thought you were being mean to cavan
clearly she was wrong andf thats not the case if cavan says so
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 8:20 PM
she lied about me abusing cavan
so she didnt show momo anything
because there is no evidence
she was just spreading rumors
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 8:20 PM
she showed screenshots of how you were acting in the server
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 8:21 PM
without context
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 8:21 PM
and it wasn't lying, since she genuinely believed it.
but now she thinks she's wrong and she's trying to help
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 8:21 PM
i sincerely doubt that
the not lying part
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 8:21 PM
I think I know amanda my guy
everything she did was to protect cavanm
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 8:22 PM
there was literally 0 evidence saying i abused cavan
no one says i abuse cavan
how am i supposed to believe she didnt make that up?
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 8:23 PM
because thats the way you came off, she thought you saying nobody loved you despite being with cavan constituted abuse
and some other things she's heard from him and you
thats how it seemed to her
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 8:24 PM
what did she hear from him?
did cavan say i abused him?
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 8:24 PM
No.
but certain behaviors you might hear about can constitute that
dude listen its not important
you're not talking to her
just accept I got her to help out and move on.
you're not gonna get yopure life better if you keep doubting people trying to help
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 8:25 PM
i dont forgive her
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 8:25 PM
nobody is asking you tro
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 8:25 PM
shes already ruined my reputation
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:01 PM
so when jay said he wanted me to talk to you he said he was talking about my ban on wishis server
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 9:01 PM
oh I see
what do you need to know?
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:01 PM
i dont really know
i still think its bullshit
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 9:02 PM
All I can say is, everyone agreed that fighting everyone is not what we want on the server. You're allowed to disagree, but calling people names and things like that isn't okay.
even if they do it too, you're both just breaking the rules.
this isn't a school situation where you gotta protect yourself because the teachers are useless, we very closely watch our server and we stop things when they get too heated.
so getting in fights is uncalled for.
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:04 PM
so what about you saying "just look away" when i was uncomfortable?
who was i supposed to complain to?
the mods were against me
except for wishi
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 9:05 PM
The issue is that we remove things based on whether or not they're appropriate for the channel.
If it's breaking the rules we remove it, etc
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:06 PM
multiple mods told me if i was uncomfortable to tell them and they would deal with it
but only 1 person cared
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 9:06 PM
right, but we can't do anything about it if its an unreasonable request.
it's not an us vs you thing. nobody has a problem wioth you,. or is 'against' you as a person
we just can't enforce "no naked babies because thats cp"
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:07 PM
it is
and in every case its everyone vs me
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 9:09 PM
no plum, it's not.
I'm gonna be honest here my guy.
there's a victim ideology going on.
you're not persecuted. you're not despised.
I'm speaking from the perspective of somebody who knows literally everyone, that nobody hates you, aside from maybe amanda and her crew
don't talk yet please.
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:10 PM
so people fight me in no reply because?
people make rumors about me abusing people because?
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 9:10 PM
people =/= everyone
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:10 PM
people tell me im the only reason they dont like wishis server because?
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 9:11 PM
people
=/=
everyone.
max was the one who said that.
amanda said the abuse thing
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:11 PM
and billy
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 9:11 PM
and billy
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:11 PM
and julian
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 9:11 PM
but those people aren't everyone,l they're all people who have problems with your behavior
why do you think they don't like you?
do you think they feel that way because they think you're smelly? because they think you looked at them funny?
they're all mad because of the way you've acted.
you cussed out their friends, you used no reply to write suicide notes.
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:12 PM
ok fuck yourself with the suicide note bullshit
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 9:12 PM
if you didn't fight anyone any more and you got back on the server, nobody would have a problem.
because nobody dislikes you, they dislike what you do.
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:12 PM
and people on that server constantly provoke and ridicule me
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 9:13 PM
listen I know youi didn't intend for them to be that way.
but that's hgow everyone saw it.
and the way people see things is how they'll respond to things
how do they provoke and ridicule you?
like when gwen was talking about nonbinary folks and you took personal offence to that?
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:14 PM
they constantly insult me
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 9:14 PM
where did this happen where you didn't do the same thing first?
excluding maik
we're working on him
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:14 PM
gwen
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 9:14 PM
yeah gwen's an ass.
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:14 PM
me and whoever was having a conversation then gwen entered in when no one asked for them with a bitchy attitude

Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 9:14 PM
we tlaked to him after that.
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:15 PM
i dont remember gwen talking about nonbinary people
i remember maik talking about it
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 9:15 PM
maaybe it was him.
but are those 2-3 people everyone?
we even talked to the people in that argum,ent afterwards. they were clearly out of line for being rude.
but I'm gonna be real with ya chief.
you ever hear the saying, "If one person's an asshole, they're an asshole. If everyone's an asshole, you're the asshole?"
I'm not calling you an asshole
but I want this moment to be one of introspection.
why do you think everyone seems to hate you? are you aleways perfectly not at fault?
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:17 PM
i have never said that
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 9:18 PM
do people inr eal life just mercilessly attack you for just sitting around and doing nothing?
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:18 PM
dont paint me as something im not
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 9:18 PM
I'm not.
that's what I mean.
I klnow you don't think like that.
so this shouldn't be a hard question.
Why do you think everyone hates you? what's their reason?
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:19 PM
i dont know
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 9:20 PM
you're not dumb plum. I can respect your intelligence, I know you can figure this one out.
Do people just magically start hating others out of nowhere? Why are they acting like this?
I know it hurts but you gotta consider all possibilities my guy.
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:21 PM
i dont know
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 9:24 PM
So if you don't know, will you be willing to accept my explanation?
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:24 PM
i guess
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 9:24 PM
you can't really tell me I'm wrong on something you yourself say you don't know.
or maybe don't want to accept.
are you willing to do that?
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:25 PM
say your explanation and ill choose what part of it ill accept and wont accept
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 9:25 PM
not how it works, bud.
this is an all or nothing deal. if one part of it is true, all of it is true.
you get in disagreements with people, which is natural. fine even.
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:26 PM
no
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 9:26 PM
but you also have a temper.
when someone doesn't do something you like, you see it as them attacking you personally, and you immediately take offense and rush to argue with them.
this is why people say you need therapy, not just because yeah your life sucks, but you need to make changes to yourself to make and keep friends.
I know this myself because I used to be a loit like this.
I was angry all the time, literally nobody seemed to like me.
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:27 PM
what do you mean by "yeah your life sucks"?
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 9:27 PM
and It really sucked but I had to change my attitude. and in the places I couldn't handle that, I went through therapy.
you said it yourself. your parents, being called a trap
things like that that you've talked about in no reply.
but here's the deal right.
people are naturally stupid.
not you, others.
you gotta start off that as a basis.
so when you say "I'll respect others when they respect me first," that's not gonna fly.
since they're idiots.
unfortunately, if you want to get anywhere in life, you need to be the person who's reasonable and fixes things first.
you also need to assume that people aren't attacking you personally. have a thick skin.
and even then, don't get in fights.
I know its stupid and embarassing.
but life doesn't come easily to people like me or you.
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:30 PM
so i have to respect people but people dont have to respect me?
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 9:30 PM
exactly
and I know how much that sucks
but the more you respect people the more they begin to respect you
and the ones who don't are the real idiots.
I always start off respecting people and working my way through that
some people are naturally spiky and wilol be rude for years untiol you earn they're respect.
it's totally iunfair and I hate it.
but it's the only way to make friends and gain respect.
no matter how mean somebody is treating you, never evver treat them poorly. it won't get you anywhere.
does this make any sense?
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:32 PM
kind of
but thats not easy to do
and to expect me to do it when no one else does is bullshit
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 9:36 PM
yeah
its so unfair right
but putting up with bullshit is what we gotta do unfortunately.
its either bs _ friends or no bs + no friends
I really wish it worked any other way but it doesn't.
but you're willing to accept it, and as we say in psychology, recognizing there's a problem is half the battle.
I know you're capable of doing this my guy.
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 9:38 PM
i guess
but if people constantly provoke me im not going to show respect
if someone disrespects me a few times i guess i can get over it
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 10:26 PM
i feel like the worst part about all of this shit is that i have no one or nowhere to talk
everyone left me and banned me from their servers
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 10:27 PM
because of your attitude.
however, I really do want you to be happy, so if you aare willing to change, I'll try my best to get you back in.
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 10:27 PM
what about everyone elses attitude?(edited)
why am i always the one at fault?
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 10:28 PM
because you're the one always fighting and arguing my guy
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 10:28 PM
because everyone has an attitude
and i doubt they will let me back in
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 10:28 PM
plum
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 10:28 PM
they all act like im some sort of unstable psychopath
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 10:29 PM
if eveyrone has an attitude, you have the attitude.
you need an attitude adjhustment.
I hate to ssay this but you're thew only one with an attitude. eveyrone else acting mad is because you're starting these fights.
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 10:30 PM
bull fucking shit
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 10:30 PM
nobody says this to you because they're afraid of making you mad
but you gotta start taking responsibility for these things
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 10:30 PM
so gwen acting like a cunt isnt an attitude?
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 10:30 PM
gwen'
s the exceptions
not the rule
we handled gwen.
everyone else is a different matter.
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 10:31 PM
so regan saying i have no reason to be uncomfortable but he does isnt an attitude?
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 10:31 PM
yes
because he's right.
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 10:31 PM
fuck off
now youre pissing me off
im sorry that i dont like seeing naked children
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 10:32 PM
for telling you you're wrong?
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 10:32 PM
ok goodbye
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 10:32 PM
she wasn't even naked, the genitals were hidden
why do you care so much about being in a community of asshoiles who hate you?
if they're so bad then why do you care so much about being with them?
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 10:33 PM
because i have nothing else
and also the baby was naked
the genitals were barely hidden
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 10:40 PM
if you care so much about that then, why are you not willing to put up with people being mean and provoking.
because you're not com,ing back unless you're able to do that. no matter how many times you think you're provoked.
because nobody is provoking anyone.
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 10:41 PM
so max responding to my messege in no reply saying "shut up" wasnt provoking?
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 10:41 PM
is max everyone?
and did we not talk to him?
we talked to him, to gwen
to the people with legitimate issues
but all these microaggressions you fight over like the deal with thighs and gore
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 10:41 PM
so i dont have legitimate issues?
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 10:42 PM
nobody's trying to come for you
I'm saying you do.
but not all of them are legitimate.
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 10:44 PM
what issues do i have that arent legitimate
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 10:46 PM
list your issues
and we'll examine them
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 10:46 PM
you know my issues
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 10:46 PM
I have severe memory problems, I do not remember your issues.
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 10:47 PM
i dont really know where to start
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 10:47 PM
write down a list of them and we'll talk them out.
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 10:47 PM
the people provoking me
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 10:47 PM
I'll pick one randomly from the lsit to start
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 10:47 PM
the naked children thing
and everyone acting like i cant be uncomfortable
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 10:57 PM
i told you some of my problems
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 10:57 PM
lets start with provoking
list the people provoking and how
we're gonna micromanage this shizz
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 10:58 PM
max billy amanda gwen regan and julian
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 10:58 PM
max
is in a fat mood
actually hold up
can we tlak tomorrow? my sister just started bleeding everywhere
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 10:59 PM
oh
ok
Eli 𐒢Yesterday at 10:59 PM
i think she tripped
gotta drive her to urgent care sorry brb
pumpkinhorse426Yesterday at 10:59 PM
ok

pumpkinhorse426Today at 2:14 PM
hey
is your sister ok?
Eli 𐒢Today at 2:15 PM
yeah she's fine
hit herself in the forehead with a slingshot
pumpkinhorse426Today at 2:15 PM
oh ok
Eli 𐒢Today at 2:15 PM
just a few stitches
pumpkinhorse426Today at 2:15 PM
i didnt really know what to say when you said your sister was bleeding
do you want to talk about what we were talking about?
Eli 𐒢Today at 2:22 PM
not at the moment, sorry.
maybe later, I still have work to do.
pumpkinhorse426Today at 2:22 PM
alright
pumpkinhorse426Today at 7:21 PM
i dont mean to bug you but do you know when we can talk?
our conversation ended abruptly (even though i understand why)
Eli 𐒢Today at 7:21 PM
yeah sure I got time
what's up?
pumpkinhorse426Today at 7:23 PM
we were talking about my issues
Eli 𐒢Today at 7:24 PM
right.
the question is, are you willing to accept that some of them are caused by things about yourself you need to change?
pumpkinhorse426Today at 7:26 PM
i already know im not perfect
Eli 𐒢Today at 7:27 PM
never said you didn't think that, I'm askinf if you're willing to change.
because iof you won't change, even when someboidy else is in the wrong, you won't be able to come back.
pumpkinhorse426Today at 7:27 PM
are you willing to accept that people in the server provoke me?
Eli 𐒢Today at 7:28 PM
some of them. but we've dealt with them.
so I've already acknowldedged that. will you do the same?
pumpkinhorse426Today at 7:29 PM
yes
Eli 𐒢Today at 7:29 PM
okay.
so are you willing to respect people who  provoke you?
putting up with idiots is what we all gotta do to be here.
it all comes down to your willingness to put up with bullshit.
pumpkinhorse426Today at 7:30 PM
i have a limit but ill try
Eli 𐒢Today at 7:31 PM
sorry friend, there has to be no limit.
when you pass the limit you can come to the admins, but under no circumstances can you blow up at anyone.
these are the terms of coming back.
pumpkinhorse426Today at 7:33 PM
i guess
but i cant promise anything
Eli 𐒢Today at 7:33 PM
then I can't promise you can come back dude.
this server is just as much my life as yours
I can't afford to let anyone get hurt
pumpkinhorse426Today at 7:33 PM
i dont know how you expect me to be perfect
Eli 𐒢Today at 7:34 PM
I expect you not to get into fights.
thats the baseline expectation I have for everyone.
if you can't do that now, fine, but you'll need to work on your temper if you wanna come back.
pumpkinhorse426Today at 7:35 PM
i will try my best not to
Eli 𐒢Today at 7:35 PM
if and when you can guarantee me you won't get into fights with people, I can guarntee you can come back.
that being said, change takes time, so it can't happen imemediately. I'll get amanda to do the thing with momo, and when we feel you're rerady, we'l;l talk to you about coming back.
you're not going to be gone forever as long as you're willing to improve. how does that sound?
pumpkinhorse426Today at 7:37 PM
how do you know when im "ready"?
what does "ready" mean?
and i have been trying to improve
Eli 𐒢Today at 7:37 PM
when enough time passes, and we see how things go with momo.
I know you are, but it needs to be a bit longer
pumpkinhorse426Today at 7:38 PM
when is enough?
Eli 𐒢Today at 7:38 PM
I can't do anything without the mods approval, and it depends on when they think enough time has passed
a month maybe? I'll have to ask them.
pumpkinhorse426Today at 7:38 PM
its already been over a month
Eli 𐒢Today at 7:38 PM
it's whenever them and wishi are comfortable enough to let you in.
a month since our last chat with all the mods.
because you know what happened there.
pumpkinhorse426Today at 7:39 PM
you pissed me off yes i know
Eli 𐒢Today at 7:39 PM
and you blew up.
pumpkinhorse426Today at 7:39 PM
whatever
so it was a test?
all of that was just a test?
Eli 𐒢Today at 7:40 PM
it wasn't but you showed that you're not ready to not get in fights when people make you angry.
pumpkinhorse426Today at 7:40 PM
you arranged all of this bullshit just to make me look like a jackass?
Eli 𐒢Today at 7:40 PM
nope
pumpkinhorse426Today at 7:40 PM
i didnt even fight
i said fuck off and then i left
which is what you guys told me to do
if i get mad
Eli 𐒢Today at 7:42 PM

[images of plum blowing up in the admin intervention]


pumpkinhorse426Today at 7:43 PM
after that last one i left
and i barely cussed during that
and you were provoking me
i could have said a lot worse
Eli 𐒢Today at 7:46 PM
I wasn't provoking you.
I was disagreeing with you and what happened.
pumpkinhorse426Today at 7:46 PM
yes you were
you said i annoyed everyone
Eli 𐒢Today at 7:46 PM
I wasn't trying to get you angry because that was against the whole point of the meeting
you need to stop thinking thast when someone makes you angry that they're doing it on purpose top make you angry.
that's not how people in this community work, and I would know considering how long I've been here.
it would be wierd if literally everyone changed their behavior just to piss you off.
pumpkinhorse426Today at 7:48 PM
thats just a lie
people in that community have definitely purposely pissed me off
Eli 𐒢Today at 7:48 PM
like 3 of them we addressed
not the rest
if I'm lying, then why am I literally the only one trying to help you?
riley and russ don't actually like listening to you talk to them about all this, they're just too nice to tell you to leave them alone.
you're hurting them which is why everyone's referring you to me so you'll leave them alone.
I'm the only one from this community that's trying to improve your life and you're just shitting all over that.
pumpkinhorse426Today at 7:49 PM
god fucking dammiy
i knew they were lying

Eli 𐒢Today at 7:50 PM
and notice how even when you attack me and call me a liar I'm still trying to help?
what will it take for you to stop throwing away every opportunity you get to improve your life?
pumpkinhorse426Today at 7:51 PM
i am improving my life
even though its hard im trying
Eli 𐒢Today at 7:53 PM
I'm glad to hear it.
when you and us both feel like you're ready, we will being you back.
but until then everyone's gonna need time to heal.
I left this community for 6 months over some bs, 1 month is nothing.
pumpkinhorse426Today at 7:54 PM
"heal"
after all of this bullshit everyone treat me like some monster
no one talks to me
not riley not wishi
everyone thinks im insane because of this bullshit
not even jay talks to me
cavan hates me
Eli 𐒢Today at 7:55 PM
the only one saying anything about this was amanda to people not in the server, it was your actions that made everyone think this.
pumpkinhorse426Today at 7:55 PM
i fucking lost everything
my actions had reason
but everyone ignores that
Eli 𐒢Today at 7:56 PM
everyone knows your reasons, but you overreacted a lot.
pumpkinhorse426Today at 7:57 PM
no one ever looks at my reasons(edited)
they act like i just scream at people
Eli 𐒢Today at 7:58 PM
how do you know that? why are you so sure you're not overreacting?
pumpkinhorse426Today at 7:58 PM
so now youre saying i had no reason?
Eli 𐒢Today at 7:58 PM
we've been voer this.
you had a reason, but you overreacted.
that's what everyone thinks.
why would so many people be so shortsighted as to not see the reasons you psoted everywhere?
everyopne knows why you acted the way you did.
the fact of the matter is you acted out of control. that's what you need to change.
pumpkinhorse426Today at 8:00 PM
thats obviously not true
Eli 𐒢Today at 8:00 PM
how so
pumpkinhorse426Today at 8:00 PM
if everyone knew no one would think i abused cavan
Eli 𐒢Today at 8:00 PM
that has nothing to do with how you acted.
it was mainly amanda who said and thought that
pumpkinhorse426Today at 8:00 PM
and then amanda told everyone
and everyone believed her

Eli 𐒢Today at 8:01 PM
not on our server.\
nobody even vaguerly heard about that.
maybe on momo's server but amanda hardly talks on ours
pumpkinhorse426Today at 8:01 PM
wishi told me they did
Eli 𐒢Today at 8:01 PM
wishi made a mistake
pumpkinhorse426Today at 8:01 PM
or atleast through dms
Eli 𐒢Today at 8:01 PM
everyone thinks you're out of control because of how you acted on the server, not the stuff with cavan.
she was talking about momo's server
pumpkinhorse426Today at 8:02 PM
thats not what she said
Eli 𐒢Today at 8:02 PM
what did she say
pumpkinhorse426Today at 8:02 PM
she said something like
"she told people on max and my server about it"
Eli 𐒢Today at 8:04 PM
well the decisions the mods made and how everyone felt when they complained were about your actions.
I can't say anything about thecavan debacle.
pumpkinhorse426Today at 8:06 PM
they still neglect my reasons