House Call - Episode 1

>Beach
>Boy
>sand
>snow
>surf
>okay maybe not that last one

>it's winter in Beach City and the rest of North America
>if you live by the coast or anywhere with a lot of moisture, you know that sucks
>as usual, Beach City is covered in snow
>this means your lawn
>spend your mornings shoveling
>spend your afternoons scouring
>spend your evenings sipping cocoa and watching cheesy horror flicks and Christmas classics
>but today, that all changes
>you've procrastinated long enough
>you drag out your big plastic crates and start unpacking
>when you feel a disturbance
>a presence
>one that you have not felt since...

"Hi, Beach Boy!"

>your blood runs cold
>your hair stands on end
>your skin breaks out in goosepimples

"It's pretty cold out here, huh?"

>you can hear the crunch of snow underfoot as the source of your terror draw closer
>slowly, you turn around and accept your fate
>sure is Connie

Connie laughs, giving you a broad smile that could melt the snowmen you've been building. She perks up when she notices your green and red crates. "Gonna start decorating?"

>yup

Folding her hands behind her back, she leans forward and bats her eyes at you; "Mind if I help?"

>yup

"Great!" she cries, quickly popping open the crate you were leaning against

>no Connie I do mind if you help please go away what are you doing here anyway

"Just thought I'd drop by and see how you were doing." she says, untangling a wad of Christmas lights. "Maybe we could get some cocoa after this?"

>you try not to glare too hard
>but on the upside, those 'Twist n'Tangle LEDs' did need untangling
>you let Connie's intrusion slide and start dotting the lawn with blown-plastic figures, candy canes, and a few handmade decorations
>after awhile you fetch your ladder and send Connie up onto the roof to string lights around the gutters
>why'd you send Connie up?
>fuck Connie, that's why

"This, um, this ladder, ah, this ladder sure is slippery, huh?" she says with a shaky laugh, throwing you part of the light-string

>yup

She swallows hard when she glances back across the roof. Going prone, she scuttles across the roof of your beach shack passing you lights as you smugly watch from below, savoring her discomfort.

"O-okay, um," she says nervously, "I'm heading back towards the ladder, okay? H-hold it still for me."

>okay Connie
>you don't hold the ladder still
>you don't hold the ladder at all
>you watch intently as she gropes for the ladder with her left foot, then her right
>you watch closely as you watch her clumsily slide backwards onto the first few rungs
>you watch contently as you see her slip and rapidly scramble back onto the roof
>alright you little shit get off of my house and away from my general vicinity

"M-maybe I'll just stay up here for awhile!" she calls, clinging to your snow-covered roof with all her might. "I-it's such a nice day out, a-and--"

>nope
>you've ascended the ladder
>you've grabbed the hood of her sweater
>and you're currently flinging her over your shoulder
>instead of hearing the pleasant 'thud' you were expecting, you feel something cold and wet pressing into your back
>sho nuff, Connie managed to latch onto you before you could release her hood
>slide back down

"Uh, um-" murmurs Connie, carefully climbing off of you, "th-thanks for-"

>give her a good shove

"Th-thanks for getting me down, Beach Boy"

>hrm
>pack things up for today and start heading inside when you feel something tugging at your shirt
>swat Connie's hand away when you turn to face her

"So, um," she mutters, toeing the ground in her big ol' snow boots; "cocoa?"

* * *

"You probably shouldn'a waited to put your lights up this long." says Sadie, bringing you and Connie your hot chocos. She takes a seat next to you, "Y'know, tomorrow we're supposed to have a crazy snowstorm. Might wanna stock up while you're here." Winking, she nods towards a tray of donut holes before heading back toward the register.

"Didja hear that?" Connie chirps, beaming at you. "A snowstorm!"

>yes I heard it you little shit I was literally less than a foot away

"Might be a good day to get the inside of your house decorated, huh?"

>might be a good day for you to fuck off

Connie glances towards her lap for a moment, taking a sip of piping-hot, ash-tongue inducing shawcalaut. "Oh, my mother's calling." She gives you a warm smile; "Be right back, okay?"

>yep
>buy the donut holes and skedaddle the fuck outta there
>scamper back to your bachelor pad
>open the door
>close the door
>lock the door
>shed your outterwear for innerwear
>put on your favorite Christmas horror flick, "December 23rd"
>start setting up snacks, drinks, laptop for shitposting, handheld for vidyaing, phone for texting while the opening credits roll
>about to sit down when

"Beach Boy! Hey, Beach Boy!"

>to your horror, large pair of eyes is staring through your windows and knocking on the panes

"Hey, Beach Boy! Lemme in!"

>nope sorry now go away before I remember where I put my heavy flashlight

"Mom said it's okay, Beach Boy!" cries the abominable snowma'am, "She said--"

>fling the door open, flashlight raised and murder in your eyes

"Mom said I can spend the night since there's a snowstorm!"