2016-04-06 Pre TOEFL: independent writing samples

Greg Malivuk
[email protected]
http://www.pastebin.com/u/gmalivuk
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Homework: Read topic 75 and write a short (5 minutes) outline of how you could answer that question.
Intro - background about different types of university
	Thesis - many subjects better for 3 reasons
First: --- (example: ---)
Second: --- (example 1: --- example 2: ---)
Third: --- (example: ---)
Conclusion: If you go to this type of university…
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https://www.ets.org/Media/Tests/TOEFL/pdf/ibt_writing_sample_responses.pdf - Sample graded responses to writing topics

p. 9 - Independent writing task
If you disagree, what could your reasons be?
	disagree with “always” - It depends on the situation (examples of situations where lying might be okay or better)
	disagree with “most important” - There are other, more important things.

If you agree, what could your reasons be?
	you need to be able to trust the other person and you can’t if they lie
	a trusting relationship will be longer than if you lie
	even “white lies” can cause serious problems

p. 14 - read the level 1 response. What are the major problems with this response?
- It is much too short.
- “introduction” is just the thesis statement, and answers “yes” instead of explaining first what the question was
	(The introduction should make it clear what you were asked, even if the reader never saw the writing prompt.)
- There is (maybe?) 1 sentence of supporting reasons and examples
- “conclusion” could be the last sentence of a concluding paragraph (if it had good grammar), but there’s no restatement of the opinion or generalization in this conclusion
- The grammar and spelling are bad enough that it’s very difficult to understand this person’s ideas.

How about the level 2 response?
- Introduction begins with an answer to a question the reader doesn’t know.
- No clear yes or no opinion about the topic.
- First paragraph includes the “introduction” as well as starting some supporting reasons and examples.
- Trial example is not related to the topic of honesty in relationships. (The idea that a person needs the whole truth to make good decisions is a good idea, but the example should be from a relationship, not a criminal trial.)
- Conclusion doesn’t restate the reasons or thesis, and is only one sentence.
- Grammar and spelling are distracting.

p. 12 - Level 3 Response 1
- Some things are better, like 5 paragraphs, some transition words to start the paragraphs, etc.
- Introduction and conclusion are each only 1 (too-long) sentence.
- Thesis statement says the third reason is that the truth makes a solid relationship [endure], but the paragraph doesn’t mention enduring or lasting a long time.

There are many problems with this essay, but an average of 3 on both your writing tasks results in 20 points on the writing section of the TOEFL.

p. 10 - Level 5 Response
- This is still not perfect. Nothing is capitalized and there are many small grammar mistakes.
- The thesis statement is that the essay will explore the importance of honesty, without saying specifically what the writer believes. However, the last sentence of the conclusion is agreement with the writing prompt, so the student did answer the question yes/no.
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Homework: Write a response to the prompt (topic 75) that you outlined yesterday.