Ponk Time

>"So how do hyoo-mans use the bathroom, Nonners? Do you poop out of those weird wigglers?"
"Nope. I use these wigglers to pick up things, not poop. My pooping bits are the same as yours."
>Pinkie, lying in your lap as she was, let out a gasp
>"You use my butt to poop?!" she asked, her bright blue eyes widening
"Yep," you said as you ran a hand through her jungle of a mane. "Every hyoo-man does."
>Pinkie's back legs kick ever so slightly as your fingertips dig into her fur
>"So THAT'S why I poop so much," she murmured
>Be Anon
>It had been a weird couple of weeks
>For one, you had found yourself in some weird land with a bunch of tiny talking horses
>Horses that were very, very nervous about having a big green two-legged SOB walking around amongst them
>All ponies except this pink little minx draped over you
>You had no idea why Pinkie had taken such a liking to you
>She said that her friends were being a bunch of little colts, being scared of "a big, weird looking stallion"
>Still, whatever the reason, you appreciated the friend
>Having horses running away the moment they saw you wasn't the best feeling in the world...
>"Non-non?" Pinkie said, bringing you out of your thoughts
"Yeah, Pank?"
>"How do hyoo-mans have babies?"
>You cocked your head to the side, thinking over her question
"We boop each other a bunch of times," you said, booping the mare's nose.
>"Really?" Pinkie asked
"No, of course not, silly," you said, tucking a bit of her mane behind her ear. "A man has to blow air into a woman's mouth for ten minutes. After that the woman has to sit upside down until a baby burst out of her belly."
>Pinkie blinked owlishly
>"...Nonners, I don't think I want to have your babies."
>You gave the silly creature's ear a scratch
>Pinkie let out a pleased hum, her eyes becoming half-lidded
>She rolled around in your lap, stretching out like a cat
"Don't worry, Ponk. I wouldn't want to have my babies either."

>Out of the corner of your eye, you could see ponies eyeing you
>Over the last few days, they seemed less scared than before
>Sure, stallions kept their curious foals close at hoof, and they always have you a wide berth, but many looked curious
>Pinkie suddenly sat up in your lap, giving you a mouthful of her mane
>She leaned toward your neck
>"You hyoo-mans are weird," she said, giving you a sniff.
"At least I don't walk around naked," you countered
>"Hey, what's wrong with walking around naked?!"
"Nothing, if you're a dork."
>Pinkie gasped
>"I'm not a dork! YOU'RE a dork!"
"Nuh-uh."
>"Ah-uh!"
>Giving your cheek a nuzzle, Pinkie leaned against you
>You lazily wrapped an arm around her
>Pinkie's fur was slightly coarse, just like the horses back home
>The little mare was wonderfully soft and warm, so that more than made up for it
>With each breath you took, you could almost taste sugar in the air
>Pinkie looked up at you, her muzzle scrunched up
>"Nonners, why do you smell like salt?" she asked
"Because I sweat the stuff," you replied
>"Huh..." Pinkie said, leaning up and giving your chin a lick with her cartoonishly long tongue
"Hey," you said, flicking her muzzle. "I'm not a popsicle."
>"Pinkie Pie!"
>Both you and Pinkie looked up to see a white unicorn striding toward you, her brow furrowed and her mouth set into a disapproving line
>"Hiya, Rarity!" Pinkie chirped, giving the mare a wave
>"Don't you "Hiya Rarity!" me, Pinkamena!" the unicorn said, puffing her chest out. "You should know better than licking a stallion like that, especially in public!"
>"Nonner's not a stallion," Pinkie correctly pointed out, wrapping a hoof around your neck. "He's a hyoo-man."
>"I don't care WHAT Anonymous is," the unicorn said. "He's a male and should be treated as such!"
>Pinkie stuck out her lower lip, pressing herself into the crook of your arm
>"But he sweats salt!" she whined

>That seemed to get the unicorn in a tizzy
>Her nose scrunched to dangerous levels, and she took a few steps closer
>Closer than any little horse had been to you other than Ponk
>Right within arm's length
>"I don't care if he sweats CARAMEL! Now, I know that you were raised better than that, Pinkie, so you--"
>Ponies, though they weren't very large by any stretch of the imagination, but they sure were a lot heavier than they looked
>Still, you nevertheless managed to bend down and pick up the grumpy horse in front of you without much of a fuss
>"Ohmyword!"
>The unicorn is as tense as a board as you set her in your lap, right next to Pinkie
>You gave her a smile, ignoring her look of absolute terror
>"I-I... S-Sir, if you could please..." she began, her eyes widening as you slowly leaned down toward her neck
>This Rarity sat there, frozen as you wrapped an arm around her, holding her firmly in place
>With that done, you placed your lips on her neck
>And blew
>Rarity instantly broke out of her stupor as you raspberred her
>"L-Let go of me you ruffian!"
>She started to squirm, pawing at your head
>This only prompted you to take a deep breath and blow even harder
>"You're in his range, Rarity," Pinkie yelled. "He's taking you to the bottom of the sea! Duck and weave, sis!"
>Rarity heard absolutely none of this
>Ponies were apparently extremely ticklish
>Rarity was no exception it seemed, because despite her best efforts she began laughing hysterically
>"Hahahahaha! Let me go! Let me g-go or I'll--Hahahaha!"
>Her laughter immediately turned into panicked squeals as you reached down to pinch a black little teat
>You couldn't help but grin
>Pinkie had nearly headbutted a cloud when you did this to her...
>Pinkie, watching as her friend began to thrash, red-faced and embarrassed and laughing her horn off
>"Don't let him blow into your mouth, Rarity!" she said. "Babies will come out of your tummy!"