A speech

>kunoichi falls from a rooftop in front of her target, eyes closed and hands crossed dramatically
>gives a long, elaborate speech detailing her achievements and those of her entire bloodline
>tells her target to prepare himself, complete with dramatic eye opening and action lines
>target has long since left and caught his train home
>kunoichi sulks and dejectedly walks to her target's house, taking solace in the fact that at least he'll probably have a bowl of hot soup waiting
>as usual

>Anon is tired of all the speeches these Monsters give.
>While adventuring is accosted by a lowly Mouse Thief.
>Gives a sigh of relief, now he won't have to listen to a 2 hour speech of some Monster telling him how great she is and how he should be kissing the feet of such greatness.
>The Mouse clears her throat.
>Proceeds to give a long speech about how great a thief she is, how she can steal the stars out of the sky and the heart of any man she pleases, but she's decided to take Anon's heart and steal a kiss.

There needs to be a skip button for these things.

>gremlins invent a button you can use to subjectively increase your experience of time, intended to be used for long speeches
>claim it's still in beta and could be buggy
>skip through your hakutaku professor's filler before she gets to her lecture, a kikimora berating the cleanliness of your living space and suggesting you hire a maid, and even a meeting with a demon pitching her entire contract to you
>it's a little annoying having to press the button to skip each individual sentence but otherwise it works like a charm
>suddenly accosted by an owl mage
>smugly bring out the button and prepare to skip her dialogue
>but no matter how many times you press it, she keeps talking
>horror of horrors, you realize the prompts are reversed
And anon never escaped.