Thread 46: Stories 1-15

Thread 46 archive: http://archive.moe/mlp/thread/20296634
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>AJ
"Celestia"
~~

>Hey, Celestia?

"Can it wait, Applejack?"

>Oh, ya' busy?

"No, I just want you to wait. Forever. And never ask me this question."

>Uh huh. Well, Ah' was jus' wonderin', about those changelings, we didn't know 'bout them a'fore they showed up at the wedding, right?

"Yes?"

>And they could'a turned inta' any pony they wanted.

"Right?"

>Couldn't they've taken us over by-

*SMACK!*

>OW!

"Whatever you were going to say, what EVER you were going to say, stuff it, you stuff it and keep it locked up right there and you never talk about it again or mention it or breath about it!"

>...

"...Do NOT give her ideas!"

>Fine, jeez...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>PD
"Bottom Line"
'Missile Assault Droid'
-Arctic Rescue Droid-
~Orbit Adventure Droid~

>...

"So...uh..."

>The hell am I looking at?

In front of Pennydrop and Bottomline stand three robots, one an orange and white earth pony with a jetpack, one a blue and white pegasus with a red snowboard strapped to its side and goggles bolted to its head, and the final one a pure white...it's hard to tell, honestly, it's under a ridiculous looking helmet.

"Well...you're looking at...uh..."

'MISSILE. ASSAULT. DROID.'

-ARCTIC RESCUE DROID!-

~Orbit...Adventure...Droid!~

"Well we thought that the general public might be more inclined to buy our droids if they had a more friendly face. These ones were our idea to appeal to the colts."

'MISSILE. ASSAULT. DROID.'

-ARCTIC RESCUE DROID!-

~Orbit...Adventure...Droid.~

'-~FAWNTAINE: XTREME FORCE!~-'

>...I hate it, dismantle them.

"But we already trademarked the names!"

'MISSILE. ASSAULT. DROID.'

>Did you idiots do this on purpose?

"Do what?"

-ARCTIC RESCUE DROID!-

>All they say is their names, listen!

~Orbit...Adventure...Droid.~

"Huh...well admittedly we just kind of yanked some prototypes out of R&D and painted them up so..."

>Prototypes?

"Yes."

>Prototypes you didn't know about.

"Yes?"

>Prototypes that may be part of some secret weapons testing?

'MISSILE! ASSAULT! ANT!'

The Missile Assault Droid's back pops open to reveal a gatling gun. The jetpack is whirls around as the gun begins to spin up.

>CANCEL ORDER!

'MISSILE. ASSAULT. DROID.'

The gatling gun pops back into the droid's back.

"..."

>...

"So dismantle."

>Yes, dismantle. And be thankful I'm not going to even bother firing you.

"Yes ma'am!"

'-~FAWNTAINE: XTREME FORCE!~-'

>SHUT THE HELL UP!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

‘Random Changelings’
>??

-----

‘No no, you don’t understand, it’s gonna be super cool’

‘Where are we even going to get a hang glider?’

‘Psh, minor details, why are you always such a downer?’

‘And why would we need one? We can just fly instead.’

‘WHY DO YOU ALWAYS KILL MY DREAMS?!’

‘BECAUSE YOU KILLED MY CAT’

‘IT WAS A CARDBOARD BOX WITH THE WORD ‘CAT’ WRITTEN ON IT IN CRAYON!’

‘AND I LOVED HIM!’

‘FACEPUNCH!’

The opulent doors of the ballroom slam open with a resounding thud. The changelings stop their activities and look to the door.

The sight they find is horrifying, chilling them to the bone.

Applejack 18 hobbles in, a makeshift bandage saturated with green blood wrapped around her front right hoof. The hollow look in her eyes, her emaciated body and sunken cheeks… A changeling like this shouldn’t be able to live, much less walk.

They were left with one conclusion

'AAAAAAAHHHH! ZOMPONY!’

‘CHRYSALIS, SAVE US FROM THE ZOMPONY!’

‘I WANT MY MOMMY’

>SHUT UP! I’m not a zompony!

She shouted in a gravelly roar.

18 limps forward, moving towards the huddled pack of changelings.

‘OH HIVEMIND, SHE CAN LIE, YOU SAID ZOMPONIES ALWAYS TOLD THE TRUTH!’

‘OUR DEFENSE PLAN, IT’S USELESS!’

‘QUICK, WE NEED TO KILL OURSELVES BEFORE THE ZOMPONY GETS US!’

>I am NOT a zompony! I am Applejack 18, third in command of the hive. You three, come with me.

‘GIVE THE ZOMPONY WHAT SHE WANTS, MAYBE SHE’LL SPARE THE REST OF US’

‘WHAT-NO! YOU DIIIICKS’

The crowd lifts up the three changelings 18 pointed at and heaves them at her. They lay in a pile at her feet, shivering with fear.

‘Please, mighty zompony, accept our sacrifice and let us live!’

Eighteen grabs the three changelings thrown to her and drains some of their love. Not enough to be dangerous, just enough to slow the bleeding and replenish some lost blood.

Strength temporarily renewed she hoists one to their feet.

>Run to the Crystal Empire portal. Go through it. Disguise yourself as a crystal guard. Go to Applejack Two’s room. Wake her up and tell her there’s breakfast in the kitchen. Then come back here. Do all that and I’ll let you live.

‘Right away, mister zompony, sir!’

He runs towards the Crystal Empire portal at full speed. She grabs the next changeling.

>Find Applejack 42. Tell her to meet me in 18’s office. Go. Now. As fast as you can.

‘Ok! The zompony wants to battle our champion for control of the hive, I can give her the message, just don’t eat my brains!

18 sighs and facehoofs, smearing blood all over her face by accident.

She releases the changeling and he scampers off towards the Crystal Empire portal.

>And you? You’re coming with me.

He raises to his hooves and 18 puts her injured foreleg around him, using him as a crutch as they move back towards the Crystal Empire.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Spike
"77"
~~~

"Is hiding in here really the best option?"

The dragon in question just grunted, leaping off the training mat and attempting a spinning-strike with his tail. With how utterly unfocused he was, dodging it was practically child's play.

"Come on, really. If 42 weren't also hiding, she'd have beaten the sense out of your hide for such sloppy moves. You're so out of it I don't think me hitting you is legal, let alone ethical."

He snarled, bending low and letting more feral instincts kick in as he dove forward, claws outstretched and teeth barred.

>Take me seriously!

"Fine."

He didn't even have to try as he shot forward, hoof colliding almost comically with his nose and rocketing him across the training room.

He knew it was silly to think, but 77 would swear he heard a little *SQUEAK!* when he landed.

"Oh, I have bested the mighty dragon. Surely my name will go down in history with yours, my worthy foe."

The dragon couldn't tell if the red on his face was from the punch, or his own embarrassment.

>That's not funny, 77.

"Well, I'm sorry! I'm not used to being the sane one! I'm used to being the one who wakes up sometimes thinking this was all a dream and I'm still in that hellhole, and yet somehow I got elected the one who has a stable grip on his emotions! You're so unfocused I'm not sure you can see me right now, 42's about to split her damn skull in half with how often she beats her own brains in, and Poppet looked like she was about to blow the entire castle to kingdom come! What am I supposed to do here!? I don't know how to deal with this, I barely know how to deal with myself! If it weren't for all of you I'd have gone loopy a long time ago, and yet for some reason I need to be the stable one here!? Help me out, explain this!"

His companion went silent, eyes wide in a stunned gape.

>I, uh... sorry, I didn't think I was shoving that much on you.

"Well, you are! You, and 42, and Poppet, you're my friends, so when literally all of you are on the brink of insanity, I tend to get a bit nutters myself."

Neither of them spoke after that while he caught his breath, neither really sure what to say if they could have spoken.

Without another word, Spike rose up, and started heading out.

"You... you don't have to leave, I didn't mean you were bothering me-"

>No no, it's okay, I've just gotta... get some air. that's all. Nothing personal man, just go take a break or something.

"Spike, I-"

>We'll finish up in a bit, thanks for the training.

He was out the door before the patch wearing changeling could say another word, leaving him completely alone.

"...See, this is why when you're having a bad time, you don't go to the crazy bug monster. Crazy bug monster should be last on your list..."

A dark, dreary sigh left his lips.

"Maybe I should go visit 32 again..."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
"???"
'???'
[???]
~~~

Despite her earlier flippancy, Chrysalis was not in a good mood. No, the idea her minion had gone behind her back and she could not risk forcibly obtaining the information without risking being forced to kill the little thing was not putting a spring in her step, no sir. She had no idea if 10 remained loyal, but at the same time she provided a valuable asset in certain times, and her popularity with the reading public, though Chrysalis was unsure how many knew she was a changeling herself, was invaluable to her overall 'plan'. As such, she just had to pretend she did not give one whiff that the little reporter had blown such an invaluable, one in a million opportunity as this on something as stupid as an interview. If 10 had been smart, she could have called out a summons, and Chitania would currently be locked up, open for as much 'interviewing' as she could want. But no, and now she just had to sit here, stewing in her own resentment that her hooves were tied. What she wouldn't give for a neck to throttle right now.

"Excuse me? Your Highness? Do you have a moment?"

>Thank you, universe! Your gift basket of thanks is in the mail!

"I... I'm sorry?"

She turned slowly on whomever had spoken behind her, making sure to milk it as she creaked around subtly, a dark glare in her eyes and an even darker smirk on her lips.

And yet... the little white stallion beneath her seemed unmoved.

"Hi, I'm-"

>I know who you are. You're the idiot that threw...

Her keen senses flickered, years of infiltration studies letting her hone in on those hiding around the corner, seemingly out of sight, hushed whispers spoken between them.

[Holy lust-spit, he's totally gonna do it!]
[I thought he was bluffing!]
[He's gonna die, oh, he is so gonna die!]
[I don't want to watch, but I do!]
[Poor idiot!]
'Will you all hush!'

She recognized those voices, recognized them all too well, but for amusements sakes, she supposed she could continue pretending they weren't there...

Though their infiltration capabilities have really gone downhill lately, she mused.

"Your Majesty?"

Her attention snapped back to the stallion standing awkwardly before her, a massive scroll cradled in his hoof.

>I said, I know who you are.

"Oh, right, good, well... as you know I've been living in the ballroom for the last couple of days now..."

She actually hadn't known that, she was pretty sure they were going to kick his ass out for the sin of 'being a guard'.

"...and while living there, some of the other occupants have mentioned stuff to me. So, I complied a list-"

>Rather arrogant of you to ask for something else after all I've granted you, no?

He flinched at her spiteful, almost angry tone.

"N-no, no your Highness, nothing for me. I've got my essentials, thanks, and you have been... really way more merciful to me than I could have reasonably asked for, really-"

>Damn straight.

"-but well, it's the others."

He held up the scroll, patiently waiting for her to take it. It was only with great trepidation that she finally did.

And promptly regretted that as it fell open, so large it rolled to the floor... and then kept going.

>...You can't be serious.

"Heh, I knooow what you're thinking, but-"

>Is this... organized?

Her eyes widened as she trailed over the numbers attached to the side of every request.

"Hm? Oh, yeah, a lot of overlap on the requests, so I just assembled them all and-"

>You're telling me, this long ass list isn't even just this big because it's every object individually, there's multiples!?

"Most of them are, yes."

She stared at him. She stared at him with the intensity of a thousand curious children who just wandered into sex-ed. She stared at him so hard he was pretty sure she could see the red blood cells moving in his veins. She stared at him so hard she probably reasonably guess the ethereal weight of his SOUL at this point.

>Is... is this a plot of some kind? Is this entrapment? Is the plan for me to shoot you and then you die and then I get arrested? Is this it? Do you just have a death wish? I don't... what the fuck is wrong with you?

'N-NO HE DOESN'T!'

From around the corner, one of her minions shot forth, no prizes for guessing which one, and placed himself between Actarius and herself. He looked about as stable as a slinky in an earthquake as he started wildly gesturing, the fakest smile she had ever seen on his face.

'H-heh, you know, this was just a jooooke they were playing, you know! Juuuust one of those funny things that they toooottally didn't think he'd do but he did because he's a nice guy and just really wanted to help but if this isn't helping pleasedon'tsethimonfirepleaseI'msorry!'

Her glare intensified, even when the stallion pushed him aside.

“JJ, calm down, it's fine-”

'Howisthisfinefire!'

He idly rubbed his hooves together nervously under her gaze as he kept his juggling companion off to the side, but somehow managed to return eye contact.

"Um... well, your Majesty, no, I don't want to die, and I really don't think you would-"

>The only thing keeping me back is the fact I am sure this is a trap, this is really insulting.

'TOLDYOUSO-'

A hoof to the mouth stopped that in it's tracks.

"I-... is it? Your Majesty, it's mostly reasonable stuff."

Painfully, slowly tearing her eyes away from him, she turned her attention back to the scroll.

>...Sleeping bags? Toothbrushes?... Soap? My subjects asked you for soap?

"And bubble bath, but that's only if you can swing it. It's mostly very basic stuff, they don't ask for much."

Her terrifying, angry gaze softened just a bit as she continued down the line. It was mostly niceties, she found. Stuff she had been using pretty frequently in the Empire's castle for the longest time. In all honesty, she had been expecting cakes, explosives, something to burn, maybe a couple crazy ones asking for a crown or something. It all seemed reasonable, but...

>I can't afford this.

"...Sorry?"

She finally looked back to him, her face quite a lot more neutral than it had been.

>The work I do for Shiny can't cover this many expenses, and with so few of my subjects working I can't tax them enough for it either. I could collect from 42 and 18, but they wouldn't cover all of this. Even all combined, we couldn't pay for half of the stuff on this list.

She could feel, well before she heard, the disappointment coming from around the corner. She could even see it quite visibly on the changeling next to him.

“So... what about your refugee aid?”

He might as well have asked her 'what about that purple elephant that flies to the moon?'

>What?

“You know, because you guys are currently in refugee status, right? That's why you're not citizens?”

>Yes?

“Well, so... don't you guys get some funding for basic necessities? I think that sleeping bags would qualify if nothing else.”

>They... pay for that?

Her eyes flickered, her mind trying to process what he was telling her.

“Well, yeah. Refugee status. This... does this confuse you?”

It was a pity nobody she knew was around at the moment, they would have found the way her ears flicked back and her mouth opened and closed in confusion adorable.

>So... you ponies give... money? Not just a place to stay?... Why? Isn't the place to stay thing isn't it? I don't...

“Do, uh, do you guys not?”

Jugglejack decided to take this one since his queen seemed to be a touch out of it.

'Ah, no. Before, you were kind of lucky to get fed, soooo...'

“Did... did nobody bring this up to you? I feel like someone should have mentioned you don't have to sleep on the floors. I mean, okay, maybe Applejack thought you would... set fire to them, I don't know-”

[WE WOULDN'T!]

“-but didn't Shining Armor mention this? I know the guy, he's a nice guy, he would have... and your eyes have gone wide like I just told you the combination to Celestia's vault, I uh-”

'Celestia has a vault?'

“I mean, I assume so. I've never seen it, but- and she is still just staring out into nothing, and this is concerning me.”

Not that any but she could see it, but within the Queen's mind, something was moving, even if she herself was not. A great many conversations wherein Shining Armor asked if living where they slept on the floors was normal, a great many times he brought up their disguise ability to clean themselves instantly, many, many times he asked if they were doing alright...

And every time, she told him. Of course they were used to sleeping on the ground, they've been doing it their whole lives. Of course they could clean themselves of grime, changelings are awesome! Of course they're doing alright, they were fed, weren't they? And then she would bring up some innuendo regarding him giving her a little 'something' so she could feed them an all you can eat buffet, and then they trailed off from there.

He was asking if they needed 'anything'.

Like... basic things.

“...Ohhhhhh, I see. Think, uh, think I see the problem.”

'You do? Good, totally lost.'

“Uh... she isn't used to giving you guys stuff, is she?”

'...Bit of an understatement... N-NOT THAT I DO NOT APPRECIATE THE LOVELY HIVE AND BEING FED, YOUR HIGHNESS! I AM MOST LOVING OF YOUR EVERY UNDESERVED GRACE!'

“Right, point is-”

>Son of a malformed, underaged grub.


Without another word of explanation, she spun on her heels and stomped off in the opposite direction.

“So, uh, you'll think about it? Queen Chrysalis? Your Majesty?”

Incredulously, Jugglejack turned to him.

'Are you seriously trying to bring her back?'

“...Point.”

[HOLY SHIIIIIT!]

From all directions, they swarmed him, punching him in the shoulder and laughing like lunatics.

[I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID IT!]
[THE BALLS ON YOU, BUDDY! THE! BALLS!]
[Totally thought you were going to die!]
[OH SHIT! I lost my only bit on this!]
[Ha HA! And Gamblejack cleans out again!]
[I SO CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!]
[We heard you the first time.]
[IT BARES REPEATING!]
[So... do you think she'll do it?]

They all went silent.

For about half a second.

[Regardless, we are so going to PARRTTAAAAAYYYYYY!]

“Really? All I did was ask her for-”

'Do not bother arguing, they look for any excuse for a party. You not being dead is on the same level as someone finding a toy on the ground.'

“...Fair enough?”

[GET OUT THE LIMBO STICK! WOOOOOOOOOO!]

“So, where do you think she's going?”

'No idea, but I feel bad for them.'

[ENOUGH TALK! PARTYYY!]

“...Woo!”

'WOOOO! WE'RE NOT DEAD!'

All the castle feared that day.

The day the stampede of changelings raced down the hall, cheers of partying on their lips.

All knew they would get no sleep that night.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

‘Waitwaitwait, you need me to WHAT?!’

>We’ve been over this, I can’t afford to explain it to you again. I’m running out of time!

‘Can’t you do it? What if I screw up?’

>I don’t have enough love to transform. Any love I drain’s going straight to replenishing lost blood. I could drain you into a corpse and still wouldn’t be able to shift. Healing’s frikkin expensive.

They walk together to the Royal Bedroom. The changeling shifts into a Crystal Guard and steps into the doorway. 18 stands aside, pressed against the wall, hiding out of sight of anyone in the room.

Cadance lays in the massive bed, draped in blankets and surrounded by piles of pillows, snoring softly.

The Crystal Guard shifts hooves nervously. 18 pokes him sharply in the side, he lets out a small ‘eek!’ of surprise.

18 motions with her hooves to start.

‘Princess Cadance! Sorry to wake you but this is important!’

“Hrmg, wha?”

‘Please your Highness, this is urgent!’

“What’s wrong?”

‘Princess Cadance, there is a matter that requires your attention!’

“What is it?”

‘There’s a… There’s a…. Line?

He stands there, a quizzical look on his face.

18 barks a mix of shout and whisper.

>LOVE EMERGENCY!

‘There’s been a love emergency in Trottingham! They need you right away.’

“A LOVE EMERGENCY! OH NO!”

‘It’s very dire, they said they’ll need you for at least…. two weeks?’

“Wow, that’s a really bad love emergency! I better go right away!”

Cadance writes a hasty note and leaves it on the bed. She packs a small bag, filling it with random items from around the room. Some face cream, small bottle of fancy perfume, a bag of candy, a small box of colored markers, a coloring book and her business-casual crown. Bag secured on her back she opens the window and leaps out.

18’s heart jumps into her throat but a moment later Cadance appears on the other side of the glass, wings flapping rhythmically.

>Thank Faust she remembered she has those…

Her unwilling compatriot shifts hooves uneasily.

>Get me the note from the bed.

He retrieves the note for her, and she reads it

>Deer Shiny: I’m left for Trottingham because love emergencies. I will b back in 2 weaks. I love u. You’re wife, Candice.

She gingerly places the note in her mouth and begins to chew, feeling the note’s love tingle in her injured hoof.

The sudden surge of love gives her the strength to light up her horn for a few moments. She floats over some safety scissors, pink construction paper, and a slightly off-pink crayon. A moment later a new heart shaped note is on the bed reading “Deer Shiny: I went to be at the perfume store. I will c u at diner. I love u. You’re wife, Candice”

The Crystal Guard looks to her, a terrified expression on his face. Partly torn between ‘Oh-god-don’t-kill-me’ and ‘Am-I-free-to-go?’

>One more task, help me back to my office. Then you’re to return to the ballroom.

18 hobbles back to her room, dismisses her unwilling assistant and closes the door, locking it with a heavy click.

A deep sigh left her lips.

>Hivemind, I really hope this works.

She inelegantly flopped into her cot and removed the blood soaked shirt from her hoof, analyzing the damage.

It… It… She’s not an expert on changeling physiology and medicine, but it looked pretty bad.

Jagged shards of chitin jut out at odd angles exposing the green tissue underneath. Thick drops of the green goo that served as her blood still ran down and seeped from the deep cracks running all along her right foreleg.

It was all she could do to re-bind her leg and hope the second changeling did his job,

She closed her eyes, hoping incredibly hard that 42 got there before she was in any real risk of bleeding to death.

Fighting double vision and incredible fatigue she decides to rest her eyes

Her breathing slowed and she decided she had gone through a lot this morning.

Yeah, now sounded like a good time for a nap.

Real quick, j-just five minutes…

With that, she relaxed and drifted into a mix of uneasy sleep and partial unconsciousness.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>32
"High Roller"
'77'
-Voice of Variolus-

>-now come on, this is getting a bit out of hand, don't you two think?

"The little rock thing is jumping up and down on top of your roach, dude."

>I am aware of this.

"Aren't you concerned?"

>Oh they do this all the time, roaches are famously hard to kill, apparently they can survive a nuke...whatever a nuke is.

"The things you say make me extremely worried about you sometimes."

>My 77 you're becoming far more adept at disguising yourself.

"Oh god fuck yoursel-"

'Maybe I am.'

High Roller looks beside himself to see a spitting image standing there.

"...huh."

'Brother, how are you feeling?'

>Like a downtrodden misunderstood revolutionary rotting away in a cell, how are you?

'Like a beleaguered survivor of a terrible tragedy that is being counted on a voice of reason.'

>Excellent, and you High Roller, how do you feel?

"Uncomfortable that I can be copied so easily...and thinking I need a haircut. How long have I been down here?"

'Several days, my apologies, Private, things have been hectic outside.'

"You don't fucking say?"

>Cursing at a commanding officer? How dare you, sir, 77, slap him!

'I was never an official member of the guard, only an instructor, and I took a leave of absence from that position, remember?'

>Ah...slap him anyway, he annoys me.

"Shut up, buggy."

>Anywhooooo, what brings you down here amongst the discarded, my dear brother?

'You said it again, that's comforting.'

>Yes, well...let's call it Pavlovian. Make no mistake, I'd rather you come around to my way of thinking, but...

"But whatever the fuck's going on with you has something to do with whether or not you call him Brother? What're you, Bulk Bronco?"

'Brother what kind of malady would cause you pain through being uncivil?'

"I don't think it's being uncivil, he gives me shit all the time."

>Because you're an imbecilic bag of filth.

"See?"

'Odd, perhaps we can investigate this together? I'm in need of...less stressful interaction.'

"So you come to HIM? Dude's nothing BUT stress."

>And all the same, I'd rather have a discussion of my current state with-I don't know-someone who actually knows about medicine and the like? An oversized scalpel does not a surgeon make, 77.

'I suppose so, I'll try and speak with Princess Sparkle, but she may be busy.'

"Won't she probably take him up to her lab?"

'Yes?'

"Well then won't Queen Bug get all pissy about him not being in his cell?"

'I'm certain that a illness that could possibly spread to the rest of us would cause her to waive her stance on having him executed the second he steps out of the cell.'

>And if it doesn't, well then we can bring up that I'm still Sparkle's prisoner to do with as she pleases and that incompetent whore can go lick a-

-Do the right thing.-

>Soooooon of a-!

32 shakes his head, groaning and rubbing at it as he leans against the wall.

"There it goes again. It's like someone installed a censorship device in his noggin."

'Okay, yeah, no, I'm talking to Twilight, this is a problem.'

"I think it's more of a solution, really I-...oh...shit."

32 stumbles back towards his bed, groaning, his body noticeably frailer than before.

>What's...happening to me?

"Okay, yeah, dude, Princess get, right now!"

77 was already running.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was bad enough AJ was camped behind her slew of royal legislature as normal, but everything just felt it was all going to crumple in her hooves; she still wasn't used to using telekinesis properly.

The immediate danger in front of her seem innocent enough, an attempt to build a simple stake fence between the Everfree forest and Ponyville had only resulted in six injuries and two building collapses.

But her mind wandered to the inevitable tornado of bitter angry confusion that awaited her in the fresh "in" pile, whistleblowers up the wazoo, rampaging monster less furious destructor than nonchalant passer-by who happened to level skyscrapers, panic panic and more panic. Her friends falling away all on her.

"Agch"

She wasn't too fussed when her hoof twinged and dropped the quill, noting some residue of magical sparks trying to break through to the feather bone it had been holding, she was more fussed as she contemplated it all.

Here she was, made an Alicorn, the highest being known to Equestria, and she had zot idea of what she could really do, she could've had fun with all that magic at her disposal, made everyone live in ridiculously cosy tree-houses, irrigate every single known landmass, turn farms of all kinds into bursting Cornucopias, heck, probably even raise some plant based lifeforms into society.

But she flung herself behind a desk, like a machine.

Idly she reached into her drawer, extracting the bottle of ever stocked apple cider, and pringed the cap off and emptied the contents into a mug.

No, not strong enough, she could stay true to her roots, and she would.

Grunting, she surrounded the mug in magic, and sweated, mentally willing, bonding and splitting, aging and churning, until she saw spots and her scalp smacked the desk.

Senses quickly returned and her hoof hooked around the drink, bringing it to her snout.

Brandy, Whiskey, some bastard son of vodka and cider? Didn't matter, it would knock her for six, and that was enough for her,
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
NC
>Spike
“Spitfire”
‘Dadling’
_______

In the common room of the castle, around the round table was where a dragon, a mare, and a Changeling all sat, each of them hunched over their respective drinks.

Not drinking, just… sitting.

>Just by one look around the room I can tell I’m not the only having a pretty crap week.

“I was decommissioned and turned into a maid months ago, a flamebitch at that. Every week SINCE has been crap. It’s just that recently, it’s taken on a whole other level of crap.”

>Point. And you, Dadling?

‘Mrrgh, NTL.’

>…come again?

‘My new name is NTL.’

Spitfire blinked, pausing mid-sip.

“When did that happen? And what does that even stand for?”

‘Blame my plot-loving brother. He started it, and it means ‘name too long’, because my name is stupid long. Like, seriously. It’d take you about three breaths to say it all properly.’

>Then don’t even bother telling me, sounds like a headache I don’t need right now.

“Agreed. NTL works just fine.”

‘Fuck the both of you, I wanted to say it….’

>Too bad, we all have our wants. …But is 56 really your brother?

‘What? No. We used to be really close but he doesn’t remember.’

“Ooooh… then question, was he ever a good flier before the mindzotz?”

‘Kinda average, I think, why?’

“Because in the academy, your ‘brother’ is shit in the air.”

>Hey, so am I.

“And you should be, you don’t have wings yet. 56 does. How he- no, how any of you Changelings even fly in the first place is a damned mystery to me but for the sake of my sanity I’m not going to delve any deeper.”

‘Yeah, I wouldn’t. A lot of shit about us Changelings is a big ‘wtf’ to me but hey, life.’

>Truuuuue that. Life. Fuck it.

“And speaking of life, you and your little marefriend got hitched at Chaos Land, right? Kudos to you, sorry I missed it.”

‘…’

>…

“…what? What’s with the faces- and why did NTL just faceplant the table?”

>The wedding, uh… it didn’t happen.

“Oh… oh, whoops, I didn’t mean to- wow, he’s leaking a lot of blood right now.”

>Liquid regret, Spits. That’s all it is….

“Looks more like liquid pain but ooookay.”

Scooting herself a bit to the side to avoid catching blood on her new maids outfit, Spitfire dragged her mug in closer.

“And you, lizardboy? You look like someone spit in your diamonds- annnnnd there he goes faceplanting the table, too. The fuck?”

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Rarity
"Arana"
'???'
~~~

>Darling, please, stop winding all of my string back int spools.

"Sorry, force of habit..."

>I realize it was a little garish for me to just try to hoist you on Twilight like that, but really, she is taking this too far by shoving you-

*SLAM!*
*THUNK!*
*SLAM!*

>...

"...Hi!"

'Hello Not-Bad-Spider-Thing! Hello Dress princess!'

>Ah... Vekir, was it?

'INDEED! Vekir is here!'

>...Why.

'Oh! Yes, Sisslestia Princess says she cannot find The Shiny, and The Shiny said he would show Vekir his Empeer!'

>I hope that doesn't mean what I think it does.

'VEKIR DISAGREES!'

>...

'Anyway, Sisslestia Princess does not like Vekir pulling on her necklace anymore, so she said to wait here!'

>Well, I don't see why I would-

'She said Dress Princess must!'

>Shoot.

"EEEE! WE GET TA' HANG OUT!"

'Yes, Not-Bad-Spider-Thing! Vekir and you shall talk of our homes, as now Vekir must ambassadorify... look that up later... of the Not-Bad-Spider-Thing cutcher!'

>One, you mean culture. Two, Vekir is the last of her kind, so-

"OOH! OOH! Okay, so first, Mama would do this thing where she laid traps that looked like dragon teeth!"

'GASP! We have snapper-mouth traps!'

"OHMIGOSHTHAT'S SO COOL!"

>...Noooooo...

'Does you mother know of the dissolving worm?'

"Know of it? PFFT! You don't KNOW dissolving!"

'Speak more, Vekir wishes to know it all!'

>Noooooooo...

"Well, first she would make this biiiiiiiig old pot, then she would-"

>NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

"..."
'...Dress princess is rude. CONTINUE!'

"As I was saying..."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC continuation

>AJ
“???”
______

Throbbing headache.

Dry throat.

Eyes that didn’t want to open.

Faust above why in the hell did she chose to exert her extremely limited control over magic towards making a stronger alcoholic beverage? Really? Was that what a respectful princess did? Resort to cheap tactics to take the edge off?

Face hidden underneath a wayward wing, the orange mare grunted, not towards the chastising questions firing off in her mind, but because of a constant poking in her midsection.

She waited, hoping whatever it was would go away.

But it didn’t, not even when she tried shuffling further across the bed. The poking persisted, following.

Until she exploded.

>FER’ THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY AN’ JUST ‘BOUT THIS FUCKED UP WORLD AN’ THE CREATURES THAT ROAM IT IF Y’ALL DON’T STOP POKIN’ MAH SIDES AH’LL-

She didn’t know who she was expecting to see, maybe someone worthy of being yelled out, of being told off for intentionally doing something that they knew would piss her off.

Whoever she expected to see, she certainly didn’t expect to see that one colt that went to school with Applebloom.

What was his name again?

Ah, right... Snails.

Frozen in the act of rearing up on her hindlegs, wings flared out toe their fullest with the full intention of bucking the poker off the edge of the planet, AJ slowly lowered herself, first to the bed, then to the ground before the colt.

To his credit, he didn’t seem shaken by her violent yell. He simply stared back at her with a pleasantly blank face, almost like what he’d just witnessed was boring.

And, when she thought about it, coming from where this colt ventured to everyday, namely that demonically possessed classroom, AJ figured nothing could really put the trembles into him at this point.

>Um… Snails?

“Yeah, Princess Applejack?”

Hearing her official title and not some goofy moniker actually caused AJ to double-take, mouth agape.

“Oh, you might want to close that, princess. I did that once in class and something tried to shove a bottle of glue down my throat. Luckily Snips was there.”

>…

Her head was hurting enough without even trying to parse his words.

>W-well, er… did’ja need somethin’, sugar?

Even as she asked this question she had to wonder just what he was here for. What could he possibly need to speak with her about that his teacher, or parents, or friends- ponies that actually knew a modicum about him- couldn’t handle ten times better?

So caught up in her thoughts, she barely noticed when the colt stepped forward, arching his head up until their horns touched.

A squeak befitting a filly escaped AJ when sparks ignited from the contact and she scrambled back until she bumped into her bed.

>Wuh-what was that? What’d y’all do?!

Snails gave his head a clearing shake.

“I just shared some of my magic, princess. I heard from your sister that you were having trouble with your own magic. At first I thought you had apple juice clogging your horn but then I realized you might not have enough to do much, coming from an earth pony to being an alicorn and all. And Ms Cheerliee always says to help any pony in need so I came here to help.”

>…

If that wasn’t the simplistic yet touching explanation ever given….

“Did it help? Do you feel better magically? If not, I can give it another go.”

She waved a hoof, a tired smile etching into her lips.

>No need, sugarcube, Ah… Ah can feel it workin’.

His face lit up with a cozy smile.

“That’s great. I was really worried it’d turn into something like what I see in those magazines that Snips brings to school sometimes.”

>Hm? What magazines?

Snips shrugged.

“Dunno what they’re called but it has a bunch of mares in it, licking each others horns and stuff, with sparks flying from the end. I don’t get it but Snips and the others like reading them.”

>…

“Hmm… now that I think about, those mares shot off huge sparks from their horns… Do you think I should lick-”

>NO!

“…”

>Ah- Ah mean, that’s n-not necessary, Snails. An’ ya shouldn’t do it wit' anyone else either! Horns have germs an’… an’, uh… ya might stab yerself, or worse! Never do that- unless ya find a mare ya like! An’ then- wait, no- not even then! Git yerself married first, or jus’ really, really in love! NO! Git older first then all’a that can come l- ya know what? Jus’ forget it! Forget everything ya saw in those magazine an’ tell Snips Ah’ll be havin’ a word with him!

She was waving her hooves about frantically, trying to better convey her message while Snails stared on, nodding blankly.

“Yes, princess… I will, princess… no, guess I won’t, princess… I’ll get married first, prin- okay, I’ll wait until I’m in lo- until I’m ol- okay, I’ll forget it, after I tell Snips.”

Thank Faust for his dimness.

Sighing with relief, she gave his mane a rustle.

>Anyway, thanks fer’ stoppin’ by an’ tryin’ tuh’ help me, Snails. Ah appreciate it, really.

“I appreciate what you're doing for us in general, Princess Applejack. I know it’s not easy, just like my homework, but you’re doing a real good job here. When your next election comes around, I’ll be voting for you no matter who you’re running against, okay? You’re fixing things so I want you to stay here and keep making us happy. So don’t worry, you’re great.”

And he left just like that, about-facing under her hoof and strolling out.

Leaving a very worn, very brain-drained… very blurry-eyed princess behind.

>…c-comes from the oddest places, Ah s-swear.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“42”
>18

-----

A thundering crash jerked 18’s eyes open as her door exploded inwards, shards of wood and metal thrown around her room.

Applejack 42 lept into the room through the empty doorframe, poised in a combat stance.

“SHOW YOURSELF, ZOMPONY MENACE! I WILL NEVER LET YOU CONQUER MY HIVE!”

>Oh Faust, not you too…

“GASP! 18, oh no, am I too late? Please 18, fight it! Resist the dark zompony magics running through you!”

42 grabbed 18 by the shoulders and shook her violently.

“I believe in you 18, you’re stronger than this! Focus on the sound of my voice!”

>42, let go of me!

“Thank the Hivemind! You’re still in there! Quick, take some love, fight this dark curse!”

42 took 18’s face in her hooves and locked her lips with her.

18 tried to pull back, but 42’s vice like grip held her in place. In an instant love began to flow between them and she was overwhelmed by sensation. She moaned in ecstasy and hungrily pressed in towards 42’s soft, inviting lips. Against better judgement she began to explore the depths of 42’s mouth with her tongue, pressing deeper into her embrace.

A tingling warmth spread through her lips and radiated to the rest of her body. An intense hot prickling ran through her injured hoof as she moaned into 42’s mouth.

After what felt like forever, 42 broke away, seeming to be completely ignorant of the intimacy they had just shared.

“18, are you okay? Did you fight off the Zompony Curse?!”

18 took a moment to lick her lips, savouring the residual love in 42’s saliva.

>You didn’t have to do that you know, we could have just held hooves for a couple minutes.

“You’re wounded, that Zompony messed you up pretty bad…. Besides, it’s the most efficient way to transfer love and you know it. I’m not going to half-ass it and risk losing you, 18!”

>Fair enough. Thanks, by the way.

“No thanks are needed. You’re one of my best friends and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe.”

A wave of warmth and love washes over 18 as 42 smiles at her and the tingling in her hoof fades away.

“Now, do you remember where the zompony went? How long ago did you see him? How much time was there between being bitten and losing your mind? What was his combat strategy? How much of your love did he steal, you look TERRIBLE!

>There’s no zompony, 42. It was me all along.

“GASP”

>Not like that! I-I was working a bit hard.

42 stares at her, eyebrows raised and a quizzical expression on her face.

>Maybe a bit harder than I should have. For a long time. A really long time.

18 sighs and looks apologetic for putting 42 through such an ordeal and making her worry.

>I’ve been doubling up on work. I don’t know exactly how long I was at it, ten days, three weeks, a month and a half, I have no clue.

>But I worked day in and day out, I didn’t see you, or the Queen, or Shiny, or anybody. I just worked and worked and worked. I stopped sleeping in the big bed because I felt bad getting in at 2 AM and getting out at 5, waking people up by coming and going...

>I...I guess I pushed it a bit too hard. Earlier today my disguise flickered off, that’s how little love I had. I broke my hoof on a stapler and nearly bled to death. I’ve burned through every bit of love I have, 42. I’m scared...

>An… And the worst part? I didn’t even know it… I could have died, I could have just keeled over at my desk, out of the blue. And for what?

>What would I have to show for it?!?

“You do a lot of good 18. Don’t think that way. You’ve made a ton of great changes around here!”

>No, YOU made a bunch of great changes. The guard are fighting elites, capable and skilled, respected worldwide! The good I do is completely temporary. The day, the hour, the FAUST-DAMNED SECOND I stop working it just piles right back up! The good I can do for this empire is from behind that desk! The day I walk away is the day all my hard work comes crumbling down and things go back to the way they -were-...

42 was not a well spoken changeling. She was not a poet. She was not a speechwriter or an orator or a wordsmith.

But she was a friend.

42 lifted 18 from the cot and hugged her close, nuzzling her cheek in sympathy. She had heard the saying “actions speak louder than words” and could only pray in this moment that it held true.

18 doesn’t know how long she stood there, relaxing into 42’s strong embrace, but she did know it helped. There were no words of encouragement, no promises of brighter futures, just physical actions saying “I’m here for you and I will support you. Literally, if necessary”.

After a long, comfortable silence 42 released 18 and received a caring smile as thanks for her heartfelt gesture.

>Thanks 42, I needed that.

“There’s another one waiting, any time you need it. Just ask, ok?”

>I will. I won’t let this happen again.

“You better not. Do I have to order you to report to the ballroom for the Queen’s weekly feeding?”

>No, no I’ll be fine. If I start to feel weak again I’ll come see you right away.

“Promise?”

>Promise.

42 turns around and begins to leave.

“18?”

>Yeah?

“Sorry for exploding your door.”

>Don’t worry about it, I’ll have maintenance bring up a spare.

“I have to get back to work. Take care of yourself, ok 18? I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

>I’ll be more careful. Can you do me one last favour?

“Sure, what’s up?

>Can you get 55 up here? I need to speak with him right away.

“He’s in Appleoosa, it’s a ways off but I’ll get right on it.”

>Thanks 42.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A soft snoring reverberates around the small shack. A changeling lies nestled in the middle of the cramped space, snuggled into a tattered blanket. A smile of absolute contentment spreads across his sleeping face.

Tapping sounds ring through the shack, causing him to stir from his slumber with an exaggerated yawn.

Tap-tap-tap.

“What’s that, Magic Shack? Someone needs me?”

On the other side of the aluminum sheeting door 42 continues to knock, a serious look on her face.

>55, you’re needed in the Crystal Empire. 18 has urgent business with you, you need to leave right away.

55 throws his blanket aside and douses himself in gasoline.

“Wow, 18 needs me? It must be important! Thanks for the info, Magic Shack! I better get going!”

With the flick of a match he bursts into flame and flies out a trapdoor in the roof.

“Try not to miss me too much, Magic Shack! I’ll bring you back something nice.”

After giving his farewell 55 flies north, towards the Crystal Empire, a long streak of fire left in his wake.

42 stands there a moment, watching the fire trail fade into smoke.

>What…
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Twi
"77"
'Sucker Punch'
-41-

Twilight stands at a console in the Gun Club HQ next to the Simulator, scrutinizing lines of codes on one screen while examining Sucker Punch and 41 standing in a nondescript field in the other.

>Alright, tweaking the pain transference variables, the latency between injuries sustained and mental reset-

'Princess Sparkle?'

>Yes?

-The hell are the sounds coming out of your mouth?-

>Oh, sorry, more thinking out loud than anything. Thanks, you two, for helping me with this.

'Hey I brought it up in the first place and if it helps is guards stop being-'

-Total pussies.-

'...I was gonna say iffy on using this thing.'

-Ah, lying.-

>Anyway, yeah, the realism of the death may be good for keeping it true to life but-

'That sorta stuff can screw with your head bad?'

>Exactly, for a training exercise the death should be a learning experience, but if you're being overloaded with the sensation of death, then you're less likely to take in what lead to the simulated death.

'Exactly what I said in the tube.'

-Bullshit.-

'Okay so there may have been some changes in translation from the bubble talk but the gist was there-'

"Princess Sparkle!"

Twilight turns around to see 77 rushing into the room.

"I checked your lab but you won't there, we have a problem."

-Hi 77!-

"I-what are those two doing in-nevermind, I need your help."

>77, what's going on?

"Remember when I told you about my brother's recent oddness?"

>Yes, the distance at certain points in conversation, the apparent headaches. I meant to check in on it but the Chitania attack got in the way.

"Right, yes, but I may have discovered a more pressing issue with it."

>Such as?

"Whatever's happening to him...I think it's draining love away at an alarming rate."

>What?

'What?'

-WHAT!? Keep us in here! I'm not catching some love-drain disease from that fuckhead-OW!-

'Knock it off, this is serious!'

-I'm BEING serious!-

"Princess, I think this requires at the very least an examination. My brother...he will probably waste away in that cell one day, I know that, but I will be damned if I allow some kind of illness to take him on my watch."

>Of course, I can arrange for some guards to take him to my lab and I can give him a thorough examination, see if we can figure out what's wrong with him.

-Other than being a total dickweed-ow!-

'Knock it off!'

"Of course, your highness, I'll escort the detail...and let that guard know he can finally go back to...whatever it is he did before he started guarding my brother."

>I'll be ready by the time you bring him up.

"Thank you, Princess."

77 turns on his heel and exits the room.

>Right, we're going to have to make this session quick and dirty, guys.

'What are we going to do?'

>Well I'm going to spawn an anvil over your head and...

'-WHAT!?-'

>Uh...that was a joke, haha?
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Maud
"???"
~~~

>I am sorry if I am inconveniencing you. I realize I was not supposed to see every inch of the Empire, but I find it fascinating. I work in rocks. Most of this place is rocks.... it's nice. I hope I am not a bother.

"AHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAH! NOOOOOOO, STONESMASHER! YOU ARE NO PROBLEM AT ALLLLLLLLLLAHAAHHAHAHAHHA.... it's fun!"

>That is not my name.

"COMES, STONESMASHER! TO THE TOP OF THE CRYSTAL CASTLE, SO WE MAY SEE IT ALLLLLLLLLAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!"

>Picking me up with your hair is unnecessary, as is scaling this castle, there is an perfectly accessible ramp over there-

"BUT THIS IS FAAAAASTER! With enough speed to reach our daring heights in double daring speeeed! AHAHAHHA!"

>...I do not know if they pushed me off on you, or you on me.

"AHAHAHHAAHHA!"

>...But I will admit this is kind of fun.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________