Oregairu Vol 13 Chapter 6

   Chapter 6: Without anybody knowing,
           Hayama Hayato is regretting.


 It’s always a serious matter of being dead or alive when it comes to battling with the
deadline.

Therefore,  not  only  are  people  willing  to  do  anything  to  survive  in  the  end,  but  also
willing to sacrifice their sleeping time, to stay overnight for two or three days in order to
somehow  finish  their  tasks  in  hand,  even  if  that  means  losing  almost  all  their  hair  or
almost having a complete mental or physical breakdown.

As a result, people end up with all kinds of sufferings. Well, to be more specific, head,
shoulders, back, stomach, heart, body, and… everything that a human being possesses.
Hmm,  since  the  cells  on  my  body  are  working  anyways,  does  that  mean  instead,  I  no
longer have to work?

I  managed  to  finish  the  skeleton  of  the  proposal  and  the  design  sketch  by  the  end  of
morning. Holding all the tiredness from my body, I walked to school before the start of
the first class. I almost slept through all the classes before noon.

Even when school started, I laid on the table lazily without thinking or paying attention
to anything.

Occupied by tiredness, I just wanted to yield to sleepiness and bury my head in my arms,
so that later after school I could wake up and face things with a more serious face again.

I spent the last homeroom time resting my chin in my hand drowsily, like rowing a boat.
Just like this I had my heart and body falling in deep hibernation until the bell for the end
of last class sounded.

I put my bag, coat and scarf on the table, and then stretched my hardened shoulder and
back as much as I wanted. I stood up steadily.

After  rubbing  my  sleep-deprived  eyes,  I  turned  back  to  check  out  the  back  of  the
classroom  as  usual.  Just  as  I  was  doing  so,  Yuigahama,  who  was  talking  to  Miura-san,
noticed me and halted her conversation temporarily. She walked towards me with her
quick steps.
“Leaving already?”

“Ah yeah”

As I responded with a husky voice, Yuigahama reacted with small whining “Whoa.”

“Hikki-, your face is awful.”

“Seriously…?”

Yuigahama took out her hand mirror from her uniform pocket and raised it in front of
my face. ‘Ugh, so shiny. I feel like I’m about to disappear’ I said to myself. I looked like a
zombie - my rotten-fish eyes were rotting even faster due to lack of sleep. I could even
see the marks left by my hands where I rested my chin.

“Let me wash my face quickly”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll wait in the corridor”

Leaving the classroom, with my body shaking like Zombieland-Chiba[30], I headed over to
the washroom.

After splashing some cold water onto my face, I felt a lot more refreshed. In addition to
that, “pan-pan” - I clapped my face and said “Ganbare, me!” I sounded like a second-year
salarywoman to cheer myself up.

As I headed back to the classroom corridor, as promised, Yuigahama was waiting for me
in front of the classroom door.

“Sorry for making you wait”

Yuigahama shook her head to simply suggest that she didn’t wait too much. She handed
over  my  bag,  coat  and  all  my  other  stuff  together  she  was  holding  over  her  shoulder,
saying, “Here you go.”

“Thank you!”

While  I  took  my  stuff  and  expressed  my  gratefulness,  Yuigahama  had  her  usual  smile
showing on her face again, shaking her head as if to refuse my thankfulness.

On our way to the game club, though we exchanged a few words, due to sleepiness I still
felt like I wasn’t quite myself. So I tried to stifle my yawns.

Noticing this after looking at me, Yuigahama started to feel a little despondent.

“Ah, by the way, sorry for what happened yesterday that led to your lack of sleep today.”
“It’s okay… Conversely, it really helped that you came up with some great ideas.”

Yuigahama apologized to me for accidentally falling asleep at the Internet Cafe. Perhaps
she was trying to compensate for that - on our way sending her back home, she offered
me a couple more perspectives, suggestions and ideas with respect to the prom design
plan. Thanks to those suggestions, with just pulling a single all nighter I was able to put
forward a rough sketch of the proposal and the design plan. Well, by cost benefit analysis
it all added up to zero. It worked out and looked well on the balance sheet.

Yuigahama didn’t need to be worried about me. To be honest, I was the one to be blamed,
for carelessly yawning in front of her, which made her worry about me. So from now on,
I’ll tighten my eyebrows and keep my face straight!

“... Well, it’s no problem since I no longer feel sleepy”

Yuigahama looked at me vacantly, and then suddenly went “Phff!” and smiled.

“What’s that funny face about?”

“My face…?”

Well that was quite bitter and unnice to me but... fine. Good that I got my mood switched
before entering the game club room.

What a messy room as usual! As I tried to navigate myself along the mess, I could hear
voices coming out from inside the room.

“‘First, migrate the server using PHP and prepare for a database backup.”

 “What is this? No way, I don’t understand”

“‘Then use JavaScript to further enhance the site, and CSS to set up the design…”

“Ugh, how far is this going to push back the deadline?”

Now I could see both Hatano and Sagami clearly - it sounded like they were talking about
the website and both of their faces were full of despair. It looked like they worked quite
hard to do their research, and as a result, they were both stroken hard by the reality.

And, there was this guy on the other side wearing a truthfully evil smile on his face while
scrolling through the SNS[31]. Of course, I was talking about Zaimokuza.

I wanted to say hello bearing my genuine thankfulness of their hard work, but then as I
made  up  my  mind,  I  ended  up  just  mumbling  “Usu/hello  there”  to  them.  Noticing  me,
three of them replied to me one by one cheerfully, “Hey there, good work!”, “Otsukare!”
and “Hey!”. Well, that’s exactly the kind of greetings between guys!
Following that, Yuigahama also cheerfully raised her hand and greeted them.

“Yahallo!!”

That greeting completely froze the air in the clubroom.

“What… what’s that Yahallo...?”

“Ehhh, that girl is dangerously yabai, yabai, yabeeee.”

….well, that’s the normal reaction human beings should have! I do not blame them. Yet
with that reaction we are never going to get things done peacefully.

“Please don’t make a fuss over it for now. I have something important to tell you guys.”

I pulled out a chair to sit down and cleared my throat. Hatano and others also got ready
to hear what I had to say and straightened up their bodies. Confirming that everyone was
ready to hear me, I solemnly opened my mouth.

“Starting  from  today,  we  the  Prom  Executive  Committee  will  all  greet  each  other  with
‘Yahallo’! No objection!”

“Is this guy seriously a moron...?”

“Something is wrong with his brain.”[32]

Looks  like  Hatano  was  honestly  shocked,  and  meanwhile  Sagami  showed  his  genuine
face of sympathy towards something so pathetic.

“Hold…  hold  on  wait  a  second,  Hikki…!  This  is  seriously  very  embarrassing  to  me  so
please stop.”

Yuigahama kept her shy blushing face down and dragged my sleeve as if begging me to
stop.

Seeing this cute animal-like behavior, Sagami pushed up his glasses and Hatano took off
his. Both of them scrubbed their eyes as if they just beheld a very touching moment…

“Ah well. Let’s go with Yahallo. It’s good!”

“Yeah. Yahallo is good...”

“Correct. Here we go everyone, three, two, one…”

Zaimokuza led the crowd and, following his countdown, everyone sang Yahallo together.
“Yahallo--”

“Stop. Now.”

With  tears  still  remaining  in  her  eyes,  Yuigahama  stared  at  us  and  said  it  with  an
extremely  cold  and  scary  voice.  Silence  befell  the  clubroom.  Seeing  everyone  kept  so
quiet, I felt compelled to steer the topic towards something else. Otherwise, Gahama-san
will stay angry for sure!

“Let’s jump into our main subject today.”

I  pulled  out  the  freshly-produced  copies  of  the  proposal  and  design  sketches,  passing
them  over  to  everyone.  I  started  explaining  them,  with  my  fingers  guiding  my
explanation.

“I  want  the  front  page  to  be  loaded  with  a  huge  background  picture  with  information
about  the  event  on  top  of  it.  This  is  to  attract  attention  and  thus  facilitate  people’s
discussions  about  it  on  the  SNS.  The  front  page  doesn’t  have  to  be  too  exquisite  or
refined. Try to keep it simple and smartly decorated. I have found a sample page for you
guys for reference and you just have to try your best to copy exactly the design layout of
it. As for the background picture, just assume that you have it already for now. Once it is
ready, we’ll just need to swap it in.”

Hatano  looked  at  the  stack  of  (web  development)  resources  they  compiled,  and  then
turned to my design sketch. He couldn’t hold back but expressed his astonishment.

“What’s up with all the effort that we have put in so far… This sounds like all we have to
spawn is an easy blog thing.”

“Hey,  things  getting  easier  for  us  is  definitely  a  great  thing  that  we  should  feel  happy
about.  Don’t  say  anything  extra  thing  or  complain.  Else,  he’s  gonna  add  more  work  to
us...”

Sagami dragged and held Hatano’s arm firmly, as Hatano was about to keep grumbling.
Apparently  Sagami  didn’t  want  Hatano  to  say  anything  more.  Oh  Sagami  the  little
brother, you know the rules of society too well. You have to potential and the talent to
become  a  great  Shachiku  (Wage  Slave  in  Japan).  Speaking  of  which,  I’m  impressed,  or
should I say terrified, by how much you guys were able to pull up a research marathon
on building the website.

Zaimokuza,  who  apparently  enjoyed  the  fact  that  he  didn’t  have  to  help  with  all  the
design work, looked at my design sketch with satisfaction, nodded his head couple times
and folded up his arms.

“So, how’s the proposal going?”
“This is what I have for now. I’m currently proposing a collaboration with Kaihin-Sougo
HS[33]. It might be too specific so that it might be hard for you to understand.”

Zaimokuza  took  the  proposal  that  I  passed  over  and  read  them  all  at  once.  He  then
turned his head and called Hatano. Hatano only looked at the front page of the proposal
and said,

“Seriously what is this I do not understand...”

“This  crappy  proposal  looks  like  some  ads  pamphlet  for  a  newly  built  apartment  or  a
cover  for  a  newly  released  business  book…  Why  do  you  include  diagrams  on  ‘Johari
Window’ and ‘Maslow’s hierarchy of needs’ in the proposal?”[34]

Hatano  quickly  picked  up  the  proposal  sheets  that  fell  off  to  the  table  and  gave  it  to
Sagami, flipping the pages one by one. A few pages into the proposal, Sagami the little
brother started to hold and squeeze his head in his hands.

So as I warned you guys beforehand… An unpleasant memory flowed back into my mind
again  as  I  took  another  look  at  the  front  page  of  the  proposal.  Sternly  written  there,
typeset using very stylish fonts was “Blockchain Type Diversity Inclusion - Proposal for
the Prom Event ~ Sunset Beach with Waterfront aside… A Serendipity Experience inside
an Ultimate Translucent Space~”. Even as the creator of that title, I could no longer grasp
any of its meaning.

Even a proud person like myself couldn’t withstand the embarrassment caused by seeing
the  title.  “Ahem  Ahem”.  I  soon  tried  to  cough  to  cover  up  and  avoid  talking  about  it
further.

“...  Well.  Those  are  the  bluff  parts.  To  be  honest,  whatever  it  is  as  long  as  the  Kaihin-
Sougo side can be hooked into our plan.”

“Wow even this kind of trap (which also means bait in JP) can hook them up. Are they
mullets[35]?”

You are very wrong, Hatano. Tamanawa-san isn’t that omnivorous at all. Don’t mix him
up with heretic animals like mullets or blowfishes. Well they are very delicious dishes I
have  to  say.  He  possesses  such  a  strong  self-esteem  that  could  be  called  the  Majesty
Overlord[36]. Yet finally the moment has come - for the first time the Overlord is going to
be fished by us!

Hatano already gave up reading the proposal a while ago. Sagami, in contrast, still had
the patience to keep on reading it. Eventually, Sagami finished reading it and nodded his
head, mumbling “Yep, okay, okay”.

“Wow. The content itself looks very promising.”
“I know, right?” Yuigahama quickly followed up happily.

Almost at the same time, Sagami tilted his mouth. “I feel like my sister is going to like
this.”

Yuigahama  seemed  a  little  surprise  with  a  “Heh…”  sound,  but  she  quickly  held  her
reaction back with another “Ugu.”

“Alright.  Just  by  reading  it,  this  disgusting  proposal  looks  like  it’s  gonna  make  people
vomit, right out from my stomach.”

“The only thing that gets us relieved - is that we have to make sure this proposal does not
get chosen and realized.”

Respectively, Zaimokuza moaned his last sentence out with a voice full of hatred; Hatano
said his words as if disgusted by the smell of rotten fish.

Oh well, anyways. I can sense that perhaps Yuigahama just made a pitiful expression on
her  face;  in  any  case,  with  that  little  reaction,  I  can  assure  that  she  does  not  feel  like
there’s anything inherently wrong with the proposal.

In additional to the great ideas of “collaborating with local elementary schools, middle
schools  and  high  schools”,  the  proposal  was  further  nourished  by  Yuigahama’s  flashy
ideas - this was so perfect so that even I myself was trembling with fear.

In the end, we couldn’t come up with anything that’s flashy and arbitrary enough that
diverges too much away from Yukinoshita’s old proposal. We just decided to play around
and “temper” the staging and the location of the prom a little bit.

Imagine this scenario. Sunset by the sea, surrounded by campfire, a seaside live-house
has been set up just like those Shounan Beach Events[37]. We will plan to hold our prom
there.  Actually  no,  we  just  have  to  make  use  of  this  “set  up”.  Taking  into  account  the
possibility  of  rain,  we  can  then  propose  a  Plan  B  -  also  discuss  the  possibility  of
negotiations with Mikatsuki Ryuguu Castle Hotel just so we can also hold our prom there
as a backup option.[38]

Wow, scary Hachiman. I’m scared by my ability to BS so well. If I keep cultivating my BS
skills, I’m afraid soon the HRs from those advertisement conglomerate companies will
start  reaching  out  to  me.  As  my  imagination  drifted  further  away,  Yuigahama,  maybe
dissatisfied by the fact that she sided with Sagami the sister, raised her head up from
reading the proposal and then frowned at me.

“Even though Kaihin-Sougou might be okay with our proposal, what about Hayato?”
“Ahh, as for him… It might be still too early for us to tell him face to face”

“Hmmm?”

As I indirectly brought up some bitter part of my experience with Hayato from the past,
Yuigahama  tilted  her  head  aside,  looked  totally  puzzled.  Honestly,  it’s  not  like  the
experience was puzzling or strange in particular.

Cheap  tricks  won’t  work  for  Hayato,  in  my  opinion.  I’m  afraid  even  if  I  explained  the
content of our proposals cautiously enough, in front of someone as smart as Hayato, the
fact that our proposal was just a stalking horse would soon get exposed. For this reason,
to avoid causing extra effort or trouble to explain everything, and to avoid complicating
things up, perhaps it’s better just to tell him straightforwardly that our proposal is just a
dummy plan, before explaining its actual content. For sure, that will make things easier
to proceed.

“Alright! That’s it. I’m counting on you all.”

Saying  that,  I  finally  concluded  our  meeting.  Although  the  responses  were  cold  and
sporadic, they all got their hands busy right away.

Hatano and Sagami continued their fight into how they should go about designing the
websites, leaving alone Yuigahama aside just nodding her head saying “Um, um”.

“Emm, that’s not cute enough.”

“... Eh, can you be more specific?” Sagami asked Yuigahama respectfully.

“Well, let’s say, make it a little more shining shiny, like this…”

While scratching her head, Yuigahama tried her best to describe her abstract opinions
more concretely, so that she could somehow make Sagami and Hatano understand them.

I watched them from aside, listening to their non-stopping interactions and exchange of
conversations  pleasantly.  On  the  other  end  of  my  eyesight  Zaimokuza  seemed  to  be
doing something rustling.

“Hachiman, I brought the digital camera you requested.”

Speaking of which, he carefully placed a bulky DSLR camera on the desk. In addition, he
began stacking books titled like “Intro to DSLR Tutorials”.

“Oh, thank you! I will make good use of them for the moment… Just in case, please teach
me how to operate this camera.”

“Of course, leave it to me! I’m not professional per se but let’s just follow the instruction
manual and let’s go~”

“Hey, isn’t this your camera?”

How  could  this  guy  not  know  how  to  operate  his  own  stuff…  Zaimokuza  loudly
proclaimed  that  he  is  proud  of  his  ignorance.  On  one  hand,  he  taught  me  some  of  the
basic operations, on the other hand, he quickly scanned through the instruction manual
while keep saying “Okay, I see, I see”.

A while later, perhaps he’s getting a little tired and ignored, Zaimokuza coughed a couple
times. And then, for some reason, he averted his eyes, blushed and said,

“I have thought about… the name.”

“Oh… really”

This  is  something  that’s  far  beyond  what’s  urgent  or  necessary  for  now…  Well,  I’m
listening  anyways.  Zaimokuza  took  out  from  his  coat  pocket  a  piece  of  doubly  folded
paper and handed it over to me. Apparently, he wants me to open and see it…

It  can’t  be  helped.  I  had  to  briefly  halt  my  work  on  reading  the  camera  tutorial,  and
unfold  that  piece  of  paper.  What  I  then  saw  was  a  unnecessarily  well  written  work  of
calligraphy that says,

“Soubu HS Prom Saikou Project”

What the hell is this? Having my “camera reading” focus zone totally ruined, I suddenly
remembered something from yesterday…

“Oh, the name!”

We  had  a  discussion  during  yesterday’s  meeting  about  the  name  of  our  committee.
Apparently I wrote “Committee Name: Actively Looking for Recommendations ❤ ” on the
whiteboard and this guy actually took it seriously. Zaimokuza coughed twice again and
then fluttered his coat edge with dignity.

“That’s right! The aforementioned ‘Saikou’ means…”

“Ah ah, stop there. Alright, it’s okay, we all get it.”

“Umm… okay I see.”

Apparently Zaimokuza was let down, his face quickly turned to drooping. I bet he was
trying  to  say  something  along  the  lines  of  including  “Supreme”  or
“Reconsideration”[39]  in  the  context.  Well,  whatevs.  The  key  is  to  make  the  name  easy
enough to understand and stupid enough to reflect its dumbness. Considering these two
points, the name isn’t unexpectedly unfit for the job. Especially this pun on words would
definitely leave a SUPREMELY dumb and stupid impression on people. This was great.

“We can settle on this title. Thanks!”

“Wut??”

Probably  because  I  said  it  too  lightheartedly,  Zaimokuza  was  speechlessly  surprised.
Seeing that, Hatano passed that piece of paper back to Sagami.

“The Committee Name, as it’s settled let’s all count on it!”

“What…”

“Seriously…”

Both Hatano and Sagami’s faces turned stiff, making wry, bitter smiles at me. After seeing
their reactions, Yuigahama nevertheless looked pretty satisfied, “Isn’t it great!”

“Hmmm, oh, ah, okay, I see. Is it that great…” Finally able to read into the air and grasp
the  situation,  Zaimokuza  tried  to  cover  his  shyness  by  coughing  twice  again,  thereby
digesting his ecstacy completely before it leaked out.

In fact, I think there’s going to be an even better title in the future. Please stay tuned and
let’s all look forward to the next masterpiece from Zaimokuza Yoshiteru-Sensei!
                                  6-2

The sun was setting slowly. The last ray of sunshine flowed into the Game Club Room.

It was about time for other school clubs to also conclude their daily activity.

Sounds from those heavy bands could no longer be heard. Roars from the rugby club had
also stopped for a while. Standing up from my seat and peaking into the schoolyard, I
noticed that it was also about time for the soccer club to wrap their day up as well.

“Alright, this is about it. Everyone please clean up your own things and we can call it a
day.”

As I turned my face back from peaking out of the window and told them to wrap up, the
club  room  soon  got  filled  up  with  sighs  arised  from  exhaustion,  and  clicking  sounds
coming  from  head  rotation  and  relaxed  shoulders.  Yuigahama,  not  unexpectedly,  also
relaxed her shoulder and meanwhile turned her body facing me.

“Are you going to check with Hayato?”

“Yeah.”

As soon as I finished speaking, Yuigahama took out her smartphone and brought it close
in front of her lips.[40]

“Should I contact him now?”

“Hmm let me think. No, nope, actually. It’s better to just catch him on the spot.”

That took me just a flash of a second to change my mind.

Means of communications, such as phones or messenger apps, are in fact very unreliable
and incomplete tools. Using tools like these, getting ignored means pretty much the end
of the day. “Oh, I didn’t notice your message”, “I was sleeping then”, “It ran out of battery
then”, “I lost my phone unfortunately”, “In fact, I do not have a LINE account”, these are
all kinds of excuses that poured out of my memory. There are even rare cases like “Oh, I
actually do not have a phone”, myself being the source.

But  after  all,  Hayato  is  very  unlikely  to  ignore  messages  from  Yuigahama.  If  it  does
happen though and we have to reschedule and start over things on another day, that’d be
very problematic, since we simply won’t have enough time left. Hence, we HAVE to take
our chance and get it done today.

Yuigahama was probably thinking along the same lines, and nodded to me.
“I see… but just to be safe, I’ll still send him a message on LINE anyways. I’ll let you know
as soon as he replies.”

“Sure. Please do me the favor.”

As I said it, I quickly packed things up and left the Game Club room.

After leaving the staircase, I promptly set my foot towards the courtyard.

The courtyard lies in between the main building and the special-purpose building. Since
the  courtyard  was  blocked  by  buildings  from  all  directions,  the  night  fades  in  there
earlier than all other places on campus. It’s worth noticing that the columns located in
the  east  under  the  main  buildings  naturally  fall  under  the  shadows  of  the  special-
purpose building, thereby leaving the darkness even thicker underneath.

Suddenly, a piece of shadow moved across in that darkness.

I  tried  to  focus  my  eyes  on  that  shadow  and  finally  I  could  see  there  seemed  to  be
someone standing in front of the vending machine under the building. As I walked closer
towards there, gradually I could identify that the figure apparently belonged to a girl.

She  probably  just  bought  something  to  drink  from  the  vending  machine.  I  could  hear
something had just dropped out from inside the vending machine. She squatted down,
picked  up  the  drink  from  the  vending  machine  and  stood  up.  That  long,  glamorously
charming dark  hair  of  hers  waved  in  the wind.  The  vending  machine  cast  cold, green-
white colored light onto her white, slender face. She smiled gently, a scene that was so
unrealistic and so surreal.

That was Yukinoshita Yukino. I couldn’t possibly have mistaken her.

Yukino firmly held the coffee can and gently put on her feather coat without her arms
going through the sleeves. She then slowly walked towards the courtyard, sitting down
on the bench located in the middle of the courtyard and aimlessly staring into the sky.

As  if  trying  to  penetrate  the  bench,  the  withered  tree  groves  were  lit  up  by  the
streetlights, where orange light passed down through the dry twigs that were already
devoid of leaves.

All  of  this  looked  like  it  came  out  from  a  piece  of  painting.  I  sensed  a  feeling  that
compelled and drove me to just stare at this painting whenever and forever.

However, unfortunately, without passing through the courtyard I could reach neither the
soccer court nor the bike parking lot. So, feeling sorry in mind that I was about to ruin
this already-perfect scenery, I decided to step into the scene.
Soon, she noticed the footstep and looked at me.

“Oh, isn’t this Mr. Hikigaya?”

“Ah… yeah…”

Seeing  that  Yukinoshita’s  facial  expression  regained  composure  and  that  her  smile
returned, I used my jaw to nod in response to her greetings.

Yukinoshita was holding the coffee can to warm her hands up. But after seeing me, she
sighed and hid the coffee can behind her. That’s no use. No matter how you hide it, with
that featured packaging, color and design there was no way I could possible miss it.

“It’s rare for you to drink that.”

“It’s perfect for sugar and energy replenishment.”

She showed a very superficial smile to me, as she spoke, with her face dyed in dim red.
She closed up her coat as if she was hugging herself, and hid the coffee can inside. Finally
she recognized the charm of MAX Coffee! That’s a good thing.

I quickly peeked at the soccer court - it looked like they were still busy tidying things up.
Maybe I should wait a little longer before I go over and catch Hayama.

Using  only  eye  contact,  I  asked  Yukinoshita  if  I  could  sit  next  to  her.  She  nodded,  and
immediately  moved  her  body  away  from  the  center  of  the  bench,  leaving  some  empty
room that was just wide enough to for another person to sit down. So I did.

“Taking a break?”, I asked.

“Yeah, in order to breathe in some fresh air outdoor.”

While  answering  my  question,  Yukinoshita  quickly  cast  her  eyes  back  to  the  main
building. In that direction laid the Student Council room, in which the lights were still on.
Unlike  the  Service  Club  room,  almost  alway  empty,  deserted  and  desolated,  in  the
Student  Council  room  since  there’s  a  heater  that  Isshiki  decided  to  bring  over,  people
must have been living a pleasantly warm life there.

“I know right. The heater is too effective so that people easily get drowsy with it.”

I had to agree with her, since I remembered that thanks to a lot of stuff stacked in the
Game Club room blocking air ventilation, that place also inevitably confines a lot of heat.
Hearing  my  words,  Yukinoshita  was  amused  and  laughed  merrily  with  her  mouth
covered.

“Well, with that reasoning it looks like you always stay in a heated room, am I right? I’m a
little worried about the electricity bill.”[41]

“Don’t worry. It all gets balanced by the coldness coming from other people’s indifferent,
nonchalant gaze on me.”

“You really live an eco-friendly life.”

Yukinoshita shrugged her shoulders. I also mocked myself with a tilted smile on one side
of my lip,

“Well, having this repeated hot-and-cold pattern is great, certainly even better if served
in a sauna room. It gets my life in order.”

“I wonder if you know the correct usage of ‘get something in order’.”

“No, maybe I don’t. However, everyone says ‘Sauna gets one’s life in order’. In fact, after
repeating the steam room and in the middle of the glycine bath, there’s a process called
‘air bath’ right? As far as I know, people always say “Air bath gets one’s life in order”.”

“You seem to have no intention to get your usage of grammar in order… I have no idea
what you are talking about. Not a single idea.”[42]

Facing  someone  like  me,  who  is  arguing  so  intensely  and  foolishly  to  defend  oneself,
Yukinoshita shrugged her shoulders again.

She didn’t understand or try to understand a single word I said. I bet you are going to get
wrecked for wasting your spa money! I’m serious. Sometimes my father would take me
to  spas  by  chance  and  I’d  just  follow  him.  Thanks  for  the  treat,  Dad!  Some  of  the  spa
places even offer free manga to read. So instead of going to those manga coffee shop like
a fool, going to these manga spas is definitely a far better way to enjoy the weekends.
Even though sauna sounds like some old dude’s hobby, nowadays anime shows that are
themed  with  old  dude’s  hobby  are  getting  more  and  more  popular!  I  can  sense  the
slippery from an anime or a manga where girls enjoy sauna. While imagining that, I feel
like my skins were feeling tingly already. Hey, I was referring to saunas though, not the
girls!

While continuing my daydreaming, I got a sneak peek at Yukinoshita’s face.

Her eyes were still full of confidence to win the match between us; her mouth was still
wearing a calm and composed smile, just like a few days ago when I looked into her eyes
as I left the Student Council room. Of course, this is something that I already got used to.

While I quietly commemorated the sense of distance between us, I smirked bitterly and
finally opened my mouth.
“How’s it going? I meant, the proposal.”

Yukinoshita is a little shocked by what I asked and looked straight at me. But she soon
turned that into a teasing smile.

“...how rare it is that you start to care about others.”

“It’s not like that. Of course, I have to study my enemy.”

Hearing me explaining myself calmly, Yukinoshita got dumbfounded and speechless for a
minuscule moment. But then, she smirked and shrugged her shoulders,

“I see. It’s been going quite well. We managed to finish all the pending tasks and now we
are  coordinating  things  smoothly  among  all  parties.  I  guess  the  only  thing  left  is  the
assignment and distribution of work on the day of event.”

As  she  went  through  each  item  one  by  one,  her  eyes  looked  upward  as  if  she  was
marking each of them as checked. Judging from her voice and emotion, she didn’t look
like she’s being preoccupied by the work at all.

“That makes me so jealous… Well, don’t force yourself too much. Just use Isshiki as much
as  you  can,  even  if  that  means  crushing  her  dead  completely.  After  all,  she  has  the
potential to become a great wage slave[43].”

“I don’t need you to tell me that. That’s what I’m going to do anyways.”

I said so in a half-joking, half-serious way, whereas Yukinoshita narrowed her eyes with
a clever smile floating on her face. That’s so scary - unlike me, she looked like she was
totally serious about it.

“What about you?”

She  lost  the  stiffness  and  seriousness  on  her  face  and  asked  me  gently.  I  hid  myself
behind my fluffy scarf and replied to her,

“Well, it’s going as planned. We manage to finish just right amount of work and proceed
without  working  overtime.  I  just  have  one  more  thing  to  do  after  this  -  something
outdoor that I don’t know how long it’d take. Once that’s done I’m heading straight home
and will get rest of my work done there.”

“Sounds like only the ‘time management’ part is going well for you.”

Yukinoshita  tapped  her  fingers  on  her  temple  as  if  she  was  trying  to  suppress  a
headache. She sighed, perhaps feeling a little uncomfortable and uneasy by what I said.
After that, she looked down and stared at her feet.
“You don’t even have to work that hard. You know...”

She said that so gently and softly, just like the white breath coming out from her mouth
that soon disappeared in the air. I then returned her a gentle, small nod and then took my
time searching for words to say.

“...I have come this far by forcing myself hard. You know that this is my normalcy.”

“I see.”

She nodded forcibly, biting her lips hard. She didn’t say anything after that.

Instead, she put her hand into her coat, and then slowly took out something.

“Please…”

That’s the MAX coffee can that she just bought earlier. Probably because it was in her
pocket all the time, touching it still gave me a feeling of well-preserved warmth.

“Ah, thanks a lot… wait, but why?”

“You still have work to do after this right? I’m just out here to take a break. I’ll go drink
something once I’m back to the club room.”

While saying so, she stood up from the bench.

I waved my hands at her to try to stop her. I knew that it simply wouldn’t work. So I
quickly stood up as well.

“Wait a second… Eh, what should I get for you then?”

I took  out  the  coin  change  from  my pocket,  which  made  a  tinkling  sound.  Yukinoshita
heard the sounds and shook her head.

“It’s okay. Keep the money yourself and buy some treat for your club members.”

“No, it makes no sense if only I got the treat. If you are treating me drinks to provide me
moral support then I have to properly return the favor. That’s good manner. Can I get the
same thing for you? I was planning on getting the MAX can anyways.”

After hearing my long excuses, Yukinoshita seems to be slightly disturbed, staring at me
with dissatisfaction. Nevertheless, perhaps sensing my strong will to defend my actions,
she sighed again to signal her will to surrender. She then gave me an honest smile.

“Nothing but sophism...”
Knowing that she couldn’t refuse my favor anyways, she kept her smile and returned to
the bench. She looked up to me, her head slightly tilted.

“... then the same thing for me please.”

I  acknowledged  quietly  to  her  broad  smile.  I  quickly  ran  to  the  vending  machine  and
returned with another can of MAX coffee. Still being slightly out of breath, I handed over
the MAX can that was still hot.

“Careful. It’s hot!”

Yukinoshita then stretched her cardigan sleeves a little over her hands. With extra care,
she took the hot coffee can that I passed over, and had her sleeves in between them to
insulate the heat.

“Thank you....”

I shook my head in reply to her expression of gratefulness. I returned to the bench and
removed the cap from the MAX Coffee can that I was holding. The steam rising from the
can deflected the orange light going through, and gradually dissolved in the wind. I took
a sip of my coffee. The sweetness quickly spreaded over my mouth and the coffee soon
warmed up my body.

While I was drinking the coffee one sip after another, Yukinoshita held the can firmly to
warm up both of her hands.

We both kept the silence undisturbed and let the time pass by. Sometimes, either I was
going to say something, or she was going to, but in the end, only breaths remained.

However, thanks to the quiet breaths and the darkness of the environment, we were able
to notice even the slightest gestures, expressions, or actions between us. I was already
missing this sense of distance then.

In the end, we were never able to have any proper conversations, but only to indulge
ourselves in this speechless period of time together. Suddenly, an abrupt sound broke
the  silence.  It  came  from  out  of  my  pocket.  My  leg  felt  the  vibration.  I  pulled  out  my
smartphone and found an incoming call.

“Excuse me.”

After my brief apology, Yukinoshita shook her head gently, implying that she didn’t mind
it at all. I nodded to her and returned to my smartphone - on the screen it said it was a
call from Yui. Just as I was about to pick up the call the vibration halted immediately. Just
when I was wondering “What was that about?”, I heard footsteps made by loafer heels
hitting the ground. Yukinoshita turned her face to the source of the sound and then so
did I.

“Good evening, Yuigahama-san”

“Good evening…. Yahallo, Yukinon!”

Like a greeting during a quiet night. Yuigahama lowered her voice and waved her hand
gently right above her chest to us. Then she slowly approached the bench towards us.
The  street  light  lit  up  Yuigahama  wearing  a  scarf  on  top  of  her  coat  and  carrying  her
backpack on her back. Apparently she was prepared to leave.

“... What’s up? Heard anything from Hayama?”

“Right. He wanted me to tell you that we can get dinner together and take our time to
talk.”

When she was answering my question, she waved her smartphone gently at me. Given
that Hayama had already reached out to me, I don’t think I had any other reasons to stay
here. As for his suggestion to get dinner together, I guessed it was better just to meet him
near the train station.

I finished up the remaining coffee and stood up.

“Work?”

“Yeah.”

I nodded to Yukinoshita, as she looked up and asked me. She also checked the time, put
the MAX Coffee can back into her pocket and stood up.

“I’m also going back to work”

“Wait!”

Just  when  they  were  about  to  pass  each  other  without  meeting,  Yuigahama  took
Yukinoshita’s  hand.  Perhaps  caught  by  surprise,  Yukinoshita  froze  and  looked  at
Yuigahama in doubt.

Being speechlessly stared at, Yuigahama got a little bit embarrassed and quietly touched
her hair bun with one hand.

“I feel like, for some reason, we have not seen each other for a long time. It’s strange… I
wonder for how many days have we not met each other...?”

“Right…. I was so occupied with my work that I couldn’t find any spare time.”
In  response  to  Yuigahama’s  shy  smile,  Yuikinoshita  returned  her  a  gentle  smile.  After
seeing that smile, Yuigahama quietly looked downward.

“No, I don’t think that’s the reason. Am I being … avoided deliberately?”

Yuigahama  gently  raised  her  face  up,  asking  modestly  as  if  trying  to  peek  into
Yukinoshita’s  heart.  Hearing  that,  Yukinoshita  suddenly  straightened  up  her  body  and
switched to a firmer attitude.

“That’s  not  the  case.  That’s  not  true.  It’s  just  that  there’s  so  many  communications
coming in and out about the prom preparation and arguments against the prom event. I
had too many things to deal with…”

She argued vehemently, but then suddenly she softened her voice and looked down. She
then lost her words and instead made a long sigh. Yuigahama gently bit her lip, faced the
downward-looking Yukinoshita and apologized powerlessly.

“Em, sure, right. I’m sorry...”

They stayed speechless for a while after that.

I feel compelled to say something. So frustrated at myself, I opened my mouth without
carefully crafting words that fit into the atmosphere,

“...Hey.”

Hearing  my  voice,  Yukinoshita  suddenly  raised  her  face  while  keeping  a  firm  grip  on
Yukinoshita’s hands. Surprised by this situation, Yukinoshita also raised her face up and
said,

“I am actually helping Hikki”

That totally caught me by surprise. It left me astonished and speechless at first.

“...oh... Did I not tell you…?”

I mumbled. I thought we kept in touch over LINE somehow and thus I took it for granted
that I already told Yukinoshita about the fact that Yuigahama’s is helping me. Keeping
Yukinoshita  informed  should  be  my  responsibility,  not  Yuigahama’s.  I  regretted  and
blamed myself so much that Yuigahama ended up having to say it in a terribly awkward
situation like this.

Thereupon, Yukinoshita turned her face to me and shook her head, suggesting me not to
worry about it. After that, she turned to Yuigahama, firmly gripped Yuigahama’s hand in
return, and said,
“Don’t worry about it. I understand it.”

“... No, I don’t think you do.”

Yuigahama tilted her face in sadness.

“I was thinking about doing *it* properly. After we are finished with all of this, I will get
*it* done properly. Therefore.... I will make sure your wish never comes true.”

She  kept  staring  into  Yukinoshita’s  eyes,  trying  to  organize  her  words  earnestly.
Yukinoshita nodded, just to confirm that Yuigahama had finished her words.

“... I see. But I do hope that your wish comes true though.”

It appeared that her smile was so genuine, without even a slightest sense of sadness, that
her words were honest and truthful.

However,  Yuigahama’s  stern  face  didn’t  clear  up  at  all  after  she  heard  Yukinoshita’s
words. After two or three breaths, Yuigahama cast a gaze that seemed to cling firmly on
Yukinoshita.

“... Do you actually… know my wish? Are you sure you know *it* clearly?”

“Yes. I think it’s probably the same thing as mine.”

Yukinoshita replied without any hesitation. Her smile was certainly soaked with love and
affection. In her clear pupils was no hesitation or perplexity whatsoever.

“I see… then.. it’s okay.”

Yuigahama  exhaled  deeply,  released  Yukinoshita’s  hand  gently  and  took  a  step  back.
Seeing that Yuigahama’s hands dropped powerlessly, Yuigahama wore a very slight and
thin smile on her face.

“Sorry, but I have to leave now.”

Saying that, Yukinoshita firmly doubled her fist with her empty hand. While my eyes said
goodbye to Yukinoshita, Yuigahama however kept her face down without looking up.

Yukinoshita  sighed  with  a  troubled  face.  Finally,  she  turned  her  back  on  us.  Only  the
sound of loafers hitting the brickstone ground resonated in the courtyard, and step by
step it was going further and further away.

I saw her off with my eyes before taking a short breath. Even so, that didn’t alleviate the
heavy feeling that got stuck in my stomach at all.
“It’s about time. Let’s get going.”

I said that to Yuigahama, who stood there still and paralyzed. I don't think those are the
right words to say, but I'm simply too deplorable - I know I had to say something in this
situation, but I just didn't know what to say.

Yuigahama nodded to me, with an almost vanishing voice "alright...". But apparently, she
had no intention to walk out and leave.

Yukinoshita stepped into the shadow below the school building. I could see her fleeting
figure dissolving into the background and her footstep pitching higher.

Before I was able to see the scene through the end, Yuigahama suddenly raised her face
up, and with all her strength she started dashing over in Yukinoshita’s direction.

Yukinoshita was taking her time to walk away slowly, but after hearing the footsteps, she
turned her face back.

It all happened in a moment. Yuigahama suddenly jumped into Yukinoshita, hugging her
back wholeheartedly.

Leaking an almost inaudible voice of surprise and confusion, Yukinoshita stumbled a few
steps  forward,  almost  dropping  her  coat  from  her  back.  But  before  that  happened,
Yuigahama held onto her coat firmly and buried her face quickly into the slim collars.

"When  the  prom  ends,  we  should  get  lunch  together.  Besides  that,  I'd  like  to  stay
overnight  at  your  apartment  again.  When  the  spring  comes,  we'll  go  to  Disneyland
together; we'll go to the Seaworld again. And after that we can all stay overnight in my
place. And then when it's April,..."

With  her  wavering  voice,  Yuigahama's  words  came  out  so  quickly  just  like  an  arrow
shooting  immediately  after  another  arrow.  She  snorted,  then  looked  up  after  taking  a
breath and smiled gently.

"What shall we do in April? We can do all sorts of things. So much to do that it could take
us years or decades."

Dimmed orange light emitted from light poles sank into Yukinoshita's pupils. She relaxed
her  fist  and  her  hand  stretched  over  to  reach  Yuigahama's  shoulder.  She  then  gently
touched Yuigahama's shoulder and tried to cover her face with her other hand touching
her forehead.

"That's... that's really a lot to do... I wonder if we can actually do all of them."

"We can! We'll be together until we finish doing all of them... So, it's not a problem."
Being hugged tightly, Yukinoshita sighed in confusion. But Yuigahama did not seem to
care. Instead, she put in more strength in her arms and asked.

"Do you understand?"

As  if  she  was  being  playful  to  a  kid,  Yuigahama  laid  her  cheek  on  the  back  of
Yukinoshita's neck to comfort her. Yukinoshita twisted her body a little bit, maybe out of
slight shyness.[44]

"Yeah, I understand. I understand it."

"Like really understand it crystal clear?"

"Yes.. yes. So could you just release me a little bit..."

Yukinoshita did not force herself to part from Yuigahama. And Yuigahama released her
slowly and gently. Yuigahama froze briefly after they took some distance apart. While I
was watching all of this, I made a short sigh.

Just  as  usual,  we  are  so  bad  at  communicating  with  each  other.  'I  meant  to  say  this;  I
meant that I knew this; I meant that I understood this.' - with thoughts like this piling up
among us, we have reached where we are today. I think we didn't grow mature at all, not
even a little bit.

We all know that there's an easier way to communicate our feelings.

However, I do not believe that's the right way.

But I know I can do one thing at least - avoid making mistakes.

As if I was praying, I fixed my eyes on both of them without moving.
                                  6-3

After seeing Yukinoshita off back to the Student Council room, Yuigahama and I headed
over to the station.

The temperature dropped quickly as the sun set. To avoid the chilly wind, we walked in
between  the  residential  buildings.  The  'kyu-kyu-'  sound  of  me  pushing  the  bicycle  got
mixed  with  the  buzzing  sound  of  dry  wood  along  the  street,  both  of  which  gradually
vanished in the end.

Along the way, Yuigahama walked next to me and talked to me about various things, but
did  not  mention  anything  about  Yukinoshita.  I  think  she  was  deliberately  avoiding  it.
Since Yuigahama clearly has subtle consideration about it, so I should not touch it either.
[45]

Of course, our topic of discussion naturally went into a different direction.

"Soccer club people certainly practice until very late, right?"

"Ah, right, especially today their training took an even longer time."

Although our campus isn't that big, we have soccer club, baseball club, rugby club and
the track and field club, all of which need places to carry out their activities. Hence, they
have to coordinate with each other on activity time and places to stay organized.

As I explained to Yuigahama, she made a "hoe-"[46] sound.

"Hmmm I see. You really know the details."

"Nah, it's normal"

It's not like Yuigahama's reaction implied anything, but it made me look like I'm really
interested in the soccer club. So I ended up coughing once or twice to cover it up and
divert the subject.

"Ah, btw, tomorrow is the day to take photos, right?"

As  I  changed  the  subject  intentionally,  Yuigahama  also  redirected  her  attention  and
nodded to me.

"Hmm... Taking photos..."

"I  was  thinking  about  taking  it  by  the  sea.  Could  you  please  do  be  a  favor  and  be  the
model?"
"Ehhh!? Me!? Ah, that's kind of embarrassing for me..."

Yuigahama caressed her hair bun with her glove gently.

"It's okay just to show a back view. I've seen quite a few of those kind of photos. I think
it'd be good to have two or three people in the photo like this."

I  held  my  bicycle  aside  and  took  out  my  smartphone  -  trying  to  look  up  images  as
references. Yuigahama came closer little by little to peek into the screen.

"I see... It's just barely safe if it's from the back... I will try to ask Yumiko and Hina as
well."

That closer up distance unchanged, we kept walking side by side. Feeling a little uneasy, I
closed my opened coat, brought my scarf all the way up to my mouth and speeded up my
pace.

Finally, we navigated ourselves through in front of the station and arrived at the Saizerya
storefront.

I parked my bicycle and entered the restaurant, immediately starting to look around for
the customer who arrived earlier.

I only hadn't been here for a couple days. It didn't look that the place had changed a bit. If
I  had  to  say  one  thing  that  did  change,  it's  the  Hayama  Hayato  cheerfully  waving  his
hands at us with a refreshing smile on his face.

Hayama moved his body to spare some space for us from that 4-people seat. He raised
his hand facing upward as if saying "Here please, my Milady."

That proud and impertinent pose looked like it could become part of a painting. This is
making me angry and uneasy. Speaking of which, what's even making me more uneasy is
this guy sitting next to Hayama eating pasta with a carefree face...

"Why's Tobecchi here?"

After taking her seat, Yuigahama said it before I could. Meanwhile, Tobe got choked by
the food and said,

"Ubbeee(crap)-...  I  shouldn't  have  come...?  Cuz  Hayato  told  us  everyone  is  grabbing
dinner together and so I'm here..."

Scared by the situation, Tobe looked at Yuigahama, who then gently waved her hand and
smiled at him.

"Oh, that's not it. You weren't invited but you ended up coming anyways..."
Yuigahama didn't seem to say that out of ill will. But saying it lightly wearing that smile
can  certainly  cause  extra  damage.  Tobe's  mouth  suddenly  cramped,  awkwardly  put
down the fork and cast his eyes towards Hayama and me, as if those eyes were saying
"Eh? Is this bad? Should I leave? Is it better for me to go home? Ah crap...",saying so in a
quite annoying way.

"... Well, it won't make a difference no matter if you are here or not."

Having said that, I cast my eyes towards Hayama. I could barely see from the side of my
eyesight that Tobe was mumbling "Crap... the way he said that is so... terrible...". Hayama
showed a bitter smile to Tobe and turned his face to us.

"I'm  sorry  for  taking  your  time."  Yuigahama  closed  her  palms  together  to  express  her
apology and gratitude.

"Well, I can't really say no to Yui's request." Hayama smiled and responded. If I were the
person asking him, I wonder if I'd just get rejected... I cast my dubiously questioning eyes
to Hayama. He then simply switched to the main topic.

"So, what's the deal for today?"

"You know this so-called 'prom' thing,right?"

"Yeah, more or less."

Just like Isshiki, I guessed Hayama also learned or heard about it from Yuigahama. Hence
I asked him knowing that in mind. Hayama answered it frankly without hesitation. As I
nodded in return, I continued.

"So the situation right now is that, some of our parents think it's not wholesome and thus
are strongly against holding the prom. We are cornered now and was told to act with
'self-restraint'. To deal with it, we then unilaterally created this new plan to carry out a
prom with even greater scale."

As I finished explaining, Tobe suddenly stopped his hand holding his pasta.

"... Wait, what, why??"

"To make sure that the prom takes place."

I said so without looking at Tobe, but straight at Hayama. Hayama folded his arms and
then held his chin, thinking silently.

"... in other words, it's a stalking horse?"

Hearing that, I tilted one side of my mouth and put up an evil smile.
"Your quick understanding makes things easier, thankfully."

"No, I cannot understand, to be honest."

Perhaps confused, Hayama shrugged his shoulders at my smile. Tobe, on the other hand,
looked at us back and forth, trying so hard to understand the situation. Yet, looked like
he  just  gave  up,  as  he  leaned  forwarded  over  the  table  and  asked  Yuigahama  "What's
going  on?"  for  an  explanation.  Yuigahama  then  "So,  let  me  think,  here's  what's  going
on...", started explaining the whole thing quietly.

Well, it's okay even if Tobe doesn't understand. The only person that I'm here to deal
with is Hayama. I quickly glanced sidelong at the whispering two, and then cut in to the
main topic.

"So, I want some support from the Club President Association."[47]

"I  don't  think  we  can  offer  any  meaningful  help.  It's  not  like  we  have  a  great  deal  of
authority or say over school matters."

"I know. But still I'd like to ask for one thing."

As  Hayama  was  about  to  say  no  and  just  end  the  conversation,  I  raised  my  hand  and
suggested 'well, hear me first'.

"You guys are planning to this Oikon thing right? Isn't it better if all clubs can jointly hold
this thing? To follow up and tag along with Oikon, we can make a new prom proposal."
[48]

"Oikon..."

After finishing up the pasta, Tobe froze his hand again while trying to reach out to the
doria. He tilted his head in confusion and looked at Hayama. Hayama smiled bitterly.

"Look like you learned about it from somewhere else."

I  looked  at  Hayama  with  my  questioning  eyes  asking  "what  do  you  mean?".  Hayama
reached out to his coffee cup and then took a sip. It was espresso but he didn't show even
a slight expression of bitter taste. He started talking composedly.

"The student council has already reached out and asked us about Oikon."

Sounds like now I'm the one making a bitter face. Nevertheless, Hayama's face kept its
composure after seeing my reaction and continued,

"We already decided to help out the student council. Or should I rather put it, we are a
subdivision under the student council. So obviously we cannot help you guys out."
"Ugu..", I lost my words.

They got it before us. While we were still conceiving it they already got it done... I guess
besides  enhancing  her  prom  proposal,  Yukinoshita  already  thought  about  using  some
help from the Club President Association.

I don't know why but in this world, people all hold this strong belief that sports clubs
must  be  wholesome.  Probably  those  old  people,  after  committing  some  light  crimes,
would easily cover them up with some pranks or tricks. They certainly, and strangely,
are  very  tolerant  to  those  young  people  who  are  sweating  invigoratingly  and  holding
strong passions. In reality, they are not wholesome at all. Every year they cause turmoils
and apologize for things like 'team activity temporarily in halt', 'bowing out right before
a competition due to scandals'. More recently, there are even bolder conducts such as
sexual harassment, power harassment, drug abusement and so on.

So,  it's  annoying  if  I  just  end  up  giving  up  now.  Knowing  that  I'm  doing  useless  and
meaningless  resistance,  I  still  have  to  continue  my  negotiation.  If  I  don't,  then  all  my
effort would go for nothing.

"...  in  that  case,  how  about  as  an  individual?  Would  Hayama  Hayato,  as  an  individual
without any titles, help out with us?"

"Helping you as an individual would be the most unwilling thing for me to do."

Hayama  tilted  his  face,  expressing  genuine  unwillingness  deep  from  heart.  His
expression looked like the one that a boxer would make after his liver gets punched and
gouged out. Okay, now it's the time to attack!

"It's also okay if we can just borrow your name."

"Doesn't look like I'm ever going to have it back."

"Ah... you are right..."

Punched right into my face by his sharp and eloquent argument, I dropped my jaw. He's
right.  If  I  get  to  borrow  Hayama's  name  I'd  use  every  inch  of  it,  Just  like  borrowing  a
stamp and use it to apply for a loan and buy a house.[49] Good for you Zaimokuza, you get
to buy a new apartment!

While I nodded to myself, Hayama looked at me and rolled his eyes.

"I cannot accept this. You are the type of person who would borrow a game, write your
own name on it and even sell it later! I hate that so much."

"Don't get me wrong. I won't do it. I don't even have a friend who can lend me a game in
the first place."

As I argued it fair and square, Hayama sighed deeply. Tobe was like "That's him! Those
who use markers to write stuff on goods and resell them on GEO[50] and then mesmerize
the buyers... I wonder if Akkun is still okay...[51]"

Instead, Yuigahama dropped her jaw in astonishment. She stared at us speechlessly with
her eyes asking "what's going on right now". Looking at her unbelievable face, Hayama
smiled gently and said,

"What's up?"

"Ah... I was a little surprised"

Yuigahama  looked  at  and  compared  Hayama  and  me  side  by  side,  'ehehe-'  laughed
happily. Meanwhile, embarrassed Hayama had decided to keep his mouth shut. And then,
pretending to sit up straight, Hayama leaned his body aside and moved away from me.

Well, had I only known the kind Mr. Hayama Hayato, maybe the posture of ‘repulsiveness
against  me'  would  somehow  end  up  looking  pretty  nice.  Hayato-san,  you  have  quite  a
personality.

As  I  was  thinking  that,  Tobe,  who  apparently  knows  Hayama  a  lot  better  than  I  do,
proudly straightened up his neck and said,

"Well, it's because sometimes Hayato-kun you do say pretty tough things too."

Tobe smiled and tried to seek consensus. Trying to cover up and divert things, Hayama
coughed a couple times.

"To begin with why do you have to do this? I didn't hear anything about this 'stalking
horse' proposal from Yukinoshita though?"

"Of course you didn't. It's all my unilateral actions."

Hayama leaned his head slightly, with his eyes inquiring what I meant by that. I didn't
really want to explain to him, I answered him in only few words. After that, I stopped
elaborating  further,  resting  my  chin  in  my  hand.  We  then  entered  a  brief  moment  of
silence.

"Looks like you two are not working on it together this time... What happened?"

He  seemed  to  noticed  my  unwillingness  to  elaborate  further,  following  up  with  yet
another  question.  He  didn't  dodge  his  eyes  away  from  me  as  he  asked,  but  rested  his
elbows  on  the  table  and  had  his  fingers  crossed[52].  His  attitude  looked  like  he'd  wait
forever until I gave an answer. I sighed quietly.

"It's my own business, not something that you should care about."

The moment I said so deep inside Hayama's pupil something dark started moving. His
gaze on me stifled me. Despite so, Hayama shrugged his shoulders.

Hayama's didn't relaxed his gaze, leaving the atmosphere even drier. I could feel my skin
getting stung and burned by his eyes. Perhaps those sitting next to me could also feel the
tightened ambience. Tobe twisted his body uncomfortably.

Yuigahama had her eyes down by herself, yet eventually she decided to open her mouth.

"Yukinon... Yukinon wants to prove that she could do it on her own. Otherwise, she'd end
up depending on Hikki and me. She decided not to let that happen."

"...that's what she said..?"

Hayama swallowed his breath out of discomposure. Just to make sure, he asked again
slowly. Without raising her head, Yuigahama nodded.

"I see..."

Hayama sighed deeply and closed his eyes. I cannot grasp the meaning behind that long
sigh. Only from his action of biting the lips, I could tell that he is stressfully troubled.

As suffocating silence continued, I could sense that the restaurant was getting noisier.
Without saying a word, both Yuigahama and I looked down on our hands.

"Ah.... by the way, did you two eat? Are you hungry? Should I order something?"

Maybe Tobe couldn't bear with the awkwardness, or maybe he was reading into the air
and  trying  to  do  me  a  favor.  Tobe  forced  his  wide  smile  at  us  and  opened  the  menu.
Yuigahama looked at me implying "what should we do?". I shook my head in response.

"No, it's fine. I am about to head out."

Refraining from putting it into words, I used my eyes and mouth movement to express
my  gratefulness  to  Tobe,  though  I'm  not  sure  if  he'd  get  it.  Tobe  was  like  "O,  oh..."
seemingly confused.

After we broke the silence, Hayama sighed shortly.

"I will help out with the prom itself. However, I will NOT assist you as an individual nor
as part of Club President Association. I won't dissuade other CPA members from helping
out as individuals. That's my compromise."
Without  looking  at  me  directly,  Hayama  fixed  his  eyes  on  the  cup  in  front  of  him.
Hayama's pupil reflected darkness and turmoil, and deep inside there was no light.

"...well, that's what I guessed. It's enough."

As I spoke, Yuigahama looked at me uneasily and anxiously.

"Hikki, are you sure?"

"Yeah."

I think it's no problem that CPA is helping out with Yukinoshita. It's sufficient just to get
Hayama's  promise  and  commitment  out.  After  all,  my  end  goal  is  to  make  sure
Yukinoshita's prom plan takes place. They[53] made their wise move ahead of us, but it
won't change the outcome in the end.

In that case, I just have to make use use of other cards in my hand.

"I'm getting ready to leave. Thanks and sorry for taking your time."

I took the check promptly and left the seat. Hayama was hesitating whether to stand up
or not, sighed shortly, but then he gave up and stood up anyways. Left by himself, Tobe
quickly  devoured  the  leftover  doria,  poured  the  remaining  coke  into  his  mouth  and
chased us clumsily.
                                  6-4

After I paid the bill and left the restaurant, the night had already fallen.

Due to the commute rush, many people were passing by the station area. I was pushed by
the crowd and left alone walking by myself... maybe I should just head to the station for
now... hence I ended up catching up with Yuigahama and Tobe while pushing my bicycle.

And then I voice came from behind.

"Can I borrow just a moment from you?"

"Ugh?"

As I turned around, Hayama was standing there aimlessly. Surprised at us two suddenly
stopped walking, Yuigahama and Tobe looked at us, turned around and walked back to
us.

Hayama  looked  at  Tobe  and  nodded  with  a  little  eye  contact.  Tobe  picked  it  up.  He
stretched his neck and said,

"Ah, hmmm, let me walk Yui home."

That immediately caught Yui by surprise.

"Ehh?? Why??"

"Why? ehh, ehhh? Why do you ask?"

While Tobe asked her back, Yuigahama waved her hand.

"Well, it's not like my home lies in the same direction as yours. I live close by so I can go
back just fine as normal."

"That frantly?? Ah, but normally you should take my offer..."

"Eh, ah, it's okay, really. Daijoubu."

"uppee-(crap)... that really hurts..."

Tobe  was  surprised  by  the  unexpected  situation  and  stood  dumbfounded.  Yuigahama
then took a step towards me and gently raised her hand up.

"See you tomorrow Hikki-, and Hayato-kun."
"Yep, see you tomorrow."

While I said so with a nod, Hayama waved his hand and said "Good night".

Yuigahama  soon  walked  away,  followed  by  Tobe  chasing  her  in  confusion  and
dissatisfaction. Seeing both of them off, Hayama and I were left in the crowd.

We waited until we could no longer see them. I then turned my face to Hayama.

"...So, what's your problem?"

"Shall we walk as we speak?"

Dodging  my  question  and  not  even  waiting  for  me  to  say  yes,  he  started  walking.  He
didn't tell me where we were heading to but merely suggested to follow him.

For a while, I followed his steps and pushed my bike without any exchange of words.

We walked into a back street one block away from the shopping district, and then came
out  of  a  corner  surrounded  by  trees.  Seemingly  an  inhospitable  place,  it's  a  park
equipped with swings and a playground slide.

"Wait here for a moment."

"eh, hey..."

I was gonna stop him but he quickly ran away somewhere. It can't be helped, so I parked
my bicycle and sat down on a bench in a gazebo.

There's  nobody  here  other  than  me.  The  park  was  really  quiet.  There's  nothing  much
surrounding  the  park,  leaving  chilly  wind  blowing  freely.  I  closed  up  my  coat  collar,
tightened my scarf and put my hands into the pocket. I waited for Hayama with my body
shaking and clattering.

After breathing in and out a couple times, I heard sounds of trampled sand coming from
my back. I turned around and saw Hayama holding coffee cans and walking back towards
me.

"Get ready."

As he spoke, he threw one of the cans over at me. I quickly took my hands out of pocket
in panic and somehow managed to catch it.

"That was dangerous... Can't you just pass it over normally?"

Following my bad attitude, however, was a relieving breath from my mouth. I could feel
the warmth transmitting into my palms. 'Eh, hot!!' I mumbled. It's about time to drink, so
I opened the can and started drinking sip by sip.

Hayama, who looked at me and smiled in satisfaction, sat down on the bench next to the
one I sat on. He first warmed his hands with the can, and soon also started drinking like
me. After a brief sigh, he began to talk in scattered words.

"I’ve come to remember things from the past."

"What thing?"

I peeked at his face from aside. Hayama leaned his body slightly forward and stared at
his  hand  holding  the  coffee  can.  Light  coming  from  the  street  lamps  shed  on  his  face,
casting shadows on the ground.

"... Things from the past. You know back in elementary school, she was isolated by others,
right? Back then, she said something similar... 'I can do it just by myself. I do not want to
rely on you. I do not need your help.'"

"Huh... I felt like I heard about that from somewhere, maybe."

"Yeah... Hence I came to remember it."

Acknowledging  my  back-channeling,  half-joking  speech,  Hayama  raised  his  head  up  a
little  bit  and  replied  to  me  in  smile.  Nevertheless,  his  delightful  attitude  quickly  faded
out.

"...I wasn't able to do anything for her back then."

Just like his falling voice, his eyes also looked down on the ground.

"No, that's not accurate. In retrospect from the outcome, it ended up being a lot worse
and awful. I offered my help halfway in the middle without wrapping it up, which caused
even  more  damage.  I  was  thinking  that  back  then  -  I  should  have  helped  and  gave  it
everything I had."

Hayama cast his self-loathing smile at me, eyes turning gloomy. I shrugged my shoulders.

"What is this? Repentance? You should do that facing a wall."

"They are about the same."[54]

Saying  so  in  a  half-joking  fashion,  Hayama,  whose  face  illustrated  by  the  street  light,
lowered his eyelashes with an apologizing face. In contrary to that face, the steel can was
shaking in his hand. Cold wind started to blow at us again but that's definitely not why he
was shaking.
Besides, I can sense regretfulness and anger leaking from inside him.

I recalled that day in that summer when Hayama and Yukinoshita had a conversation. It's
not like I asked them to know precisely what they talked about, but at my best guess, it's
probably  about  what  happened  to  them  in  the  past  being  repeated  exactly  as  with
Tsurumi Rumi, who was isolated likewise.

It's not hard to imagine the young Yukinoshita Yukino standing out from all other kids in
the crowd, thanks to her beauty, temperament and intelligence. It's also easy to imagine
how someone as unique and special as Yukinoshita would be treated by the kids groups.

In that situation, as Yukinoshita's childhood friend[55], Hayama Hayato took actions that
were deemed to be the worst that one could ever conceive - in the most straightforward
words, he tried to 'set her up to be friendly with' and made attempts 'to integrate her
into' those girl-only groups.

Unfortunately,  that  only  brought  him  more  trouble  and  displeasure.  Of  course,  what  a
classic  Hayama  move,  not  to  mention  that  it  all  happened  during  the  time  when  kids
were  the  most  excessively  emotional  beings.  It  doesn't  make  sense  to  demand  self-
control from kids, as it simply won't work.

There's no way for me to know whether Hayama back then was smart enough to notice
it,  but  I'm  quite  sure  the  Hayama  now  would  deem  his  actions  as  awfully  stupid  and
inappropriate.

"I really should have poured in all my effort to help her out back then. In that case,..."

If that were the case, what would have happen...!? That really touched my nerves. Hence I
narrowed my eyes and said,

"How's your 'what-ifs' supposed to be meaningful now??"

"At the very least, I am very aware and have made it clear to you that it's also against my
will for her to end up like this."

Taken  my  stares,  Hayama  laughed  bitterly  with  self-mockery.  The  usual  'cool  and
refreshing'  part  of  him  was  all  gone,  leaving  only  a  gloomy  eyes,  in  which  only  bad
feelings and regrets resided.

"You shouldn't give up midway, like I did. Face it seriously. I didn't have that motivation
and the resolution back then. But you are different, right?"

His words jabbing about the future, his imploring eyes, his mouth that spoke of the past
that I didn't know of - all irritated me so much. I bit my teeth hard and said,
"That was your regrets! You own them. Don't entrust them to me so lightheartedly!"

Without noticing it, my words got sharp and my eyes stared at Hayama angrily. Hayama
then quickly looked down.

"You are absolutely right... I own my own regrets. I have been regretting the moment it
happened until now. I am unable to forget any bit of it. It always came back at me... I was
stuck there ever since, without making any progress."

Suppressing  his  pain  that  seemed  to  tear  his  breast  off,  Hayama  groaned  bitterly.  His
used-to-be-handsome face warped out of pain, forcing voices out of his throat as if blood
was going to come out.

What  would  have  those  friendly  buddies  of  Hayama  reacted  had  they  seen  him  now.
Disappointed? Or sympathetic? Or even disdainful?

Notwithstanding, I am jealous of him. Looking at his regretful face, I only feel jealousy.

I could see how deep it got inscribed in his mind, as he treasured it so dearly, so much
that he would never forget about it and kept thinking about it the rest of his life.

I would not treat that feeling as regrettable at all.

His suffering posture was so 'shiny' that my eyes had to dodge away. Thereupon, Hayama
suddenly stepped on the sand and turned his face to me. He couldn't allow himself to
look away from me anymore.

"Hikigaya... You are doing it the wrong way. You shouldn't have to resort to this way."

This time, I can't dodge my eyes nor can I turn my face away. So I closed my eyes.

Nobody else but you.

Nobody else but you said that to me.

His words were hopelessly correct, ambiguous, and whatever.

I'm glad that I know you, Hayama Hayato.

You cannot overlook actions that hurt others. You will not forgive those who hurt others.
Therefore, you are the one whom you will never forgive yourself.

Bearing  the  hope  that  not  a  single  person  gets  hurt,  but  ended  up  hurting  the  most
important person. Even so, he couldn't defy or betray the image that he and other have
set up for him. In the end, being forced into an impasse by yourself, you showed me that
painful  face  and  spoke  of  these  meaningless  but  sounding  arguments.  Even  until  now,
you are still hurting yourself.

Knowing that he couldn't do it, knowing that I couldn't do it, nevertheless he still couldn't
help but ask me.

I hated this part of him so much, hated it from my heart.

I really hated it.

So, I've found my words to say.

If it's someone else then for sure I wouldn't have said it.

It's because you shared so much sympathy with me but still didn't understand it that I
have to tell you. I had to say because they are the same thing but not one single thing, and
so  much  of  the  two  are  the  same  but  you  won't  forgive  the  tiny  part  that's  different
between the two. Therefore, I had to speak out, to someone like you who committed to
never doing the wrong thing and always doing the right thing.

"Shut up! I know what I am doing!"

I knew I was doing the seemingly wrong thing. But I had no other choice. I did not know
of any other ways.

Without doing it that way, *we* wouldn't be able to understand or communicate with
each other.

There's only one thing that I could do.

Only one thing.

"I know it all. Knowing it I've come this far. There's no other ways to prove it."

As I slowly opened my eyes, I saw white steams coming out of my mouth and gradually
dissolved into the air, just like what I just said.

"... What are you trying to prove?"

Hayama directed his staring eyes at me. It's troublesome for me to be asked with that
serious face. I hadn't been able to provide any good counter-arguments.

Should I just fabricate something? Or just prevaricate it? Or just make a bluff? I thought
about  it  briefly  and  eventually  just  spoke  out  what  I  had  in  my  heart  along  with  my
breaths.

"If she didn't demand any help from me, but I'm offering my one-sided help anyways,
then this is not codependence. I want to be able to prove that."

As I said so, I began smiling naturally.

Maybe  surprised  by  what  I  just  said,  or  maybe  even  astonished  at  my  smiley  face,
Hayama blinked his eyes and gave a bitter smile while losing strength on his shoulders.

"Hikigaya, do you know what that feeling is called?"

"Of course, it's called ‘guy’s stubbornness’."

I boasted with my face twisted.