What to do when Corona chan comes over to Netflix and Chill

V.8.0

Personal preface for you Knothing Burgers and invincible Youth. Yes, this is not a extinction level event, and the majority who get infected won't even know it. Even of the Majority of those who are symptomatic, 80 % won't need immediate medical intervention.
And yes, she is a Boomer blow out baby remover who posts on r/fatpeoplehate.

But My wife and I got it, and it rocked us hard. Her Cousin was sailing on that Carrier with that absolutely bad ass of a Captain who put his Sailors first, age 23 and he did 10 days in ICU, still not cleared for return to duty weeks later, much less PT. ( Update, he is 54 days in quarantine and still testing postive, and cuz of military hiarcery brass ignorant bullshit, he isn't allowed his Switch and is in semi permanent isolation which I feel is straight torture. ) And I just had to hear my baby girl wheezing and telling me her symptoms which match the ones below from her dorm room, she is a College freshman. Shit could get real in your life.

She randomly takes out Chads, and few of you are /fit/. Take some of these precautions and live to shitpost another day. Moot would want you to. Fuck, even Kek wills it.

I have no position on lockdown vs economy, but if you say herd immunity, I want to choke you. It's like trying to catch a charging Rhino with a butterfly net, you fundementaly don't understand her species. Your body considers your upper respiratory tract to be outside your body, it doesn't respond and there is very weak B cell activation, so there is little immunological response. And if your body does find the kill code for a Corona virus, for which only a few have made strong antibodies to, it only remembers them for 6 to 10 months, the body doesn't consider it to be important. So to depend on herd imnunity is to be truely functionality retarded.

Vaccine is another word we have fixated on from our limited knowledge of virusology. Not going to happen the way you think, because of the above, never a once and done shot. Maybe a every 4 month dead virus, antibody, imnune system booster compound dose, but folks, we will be in the hot zone for years at best.

https://www.businessinsider.com/coronavirus-second-and-third-wave-of-pandemic-is-now-likely-2020-5?r=US&IR=T

Keeping this simleplexic, but ADE going to be the death of me and ye.

So, ummm.....



Like any date, get ready. You need guaifenesin, psudoephdrine, and your favorite fever reducer that isn't Ibuprofen ( no all in one pills, that will be counterproductive ), antibiotics (hopefully a z pack but anything is good ), steroid packs or steroid inhalers if you can get them, garlic, horseradish, mustard, turmeric, ginger, onion, hot pepper sause ( she hates spicy food ), lemon and lime concentrate, tonic water, and lots of volka ( need to drink that bitch under the table ), Multi vitamins preferably liquid, Green leafly shit, Vitamin C and D supplements, Chicken broth, Gatorade mix, coffee, baby aspirin and standard aspirin and and wet wipes for yo ass. Be ready for that Chick.

Additional supply, pepcid. I didn't use this but it seems plausible.

https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2020/04/new-york-clinical-trial-quietly-tests-heartburn-remedy-against-coronavirus#

And Cinnamon pills, seeing reports that she can give you Diabetes and if you have Diabetes she can give your diabetes diabetes. Sweet thing causes massive insulin resistance quickly. Google why I recommended Cinnamon.

https://www.webmd.com/diabetes/cinnamon-and-benefits-for-diabetes

And other reports say tobacco is protective, WTF. Frog nurses are giving some patients nicotine patches. Seems smoking her out has some effect of keeping your immune system from going bat shit crazy. But if it fails and she gets in your lungs, those two packs a day will come back to haunt you.

Final addition, you crazy ass manic depressives are going surrive, if you are on Lithium. Like you wanted to.
https://f1000research.com/articles/9-93

 Ok, start making her dinner like you would for any other chick. Everything listed above has a specific effect on your biochemistry and will get you ready. Eat like this even before you know she has slipped in your living room. Get your stamina up and be well stocked in your body. If you tend to constipation, pop some fiber pills and a laxative, you need your body to be able to absorb this nutrition. Double your multivitamins and be ready.

Even though we lewd her, she is still a traditional Chinese girl. You not going to get it on during the title credits, it will be halfway through season 2 at earliest that she will lean in and touch you. At first you will barely notice, but her touch will take you sense of taste and smell away.

Time to make the bitch a drink: tonic water, lemon or lime concentrate, Gatorade powder, and volka to your personal tolerance. Don't stop drinking this as long as she is on your premises.

Keep eating spicy with at least one of the spices in every meal, but only eat when you feel hunger, don't weigh your system down.

But soon her touch will set a fire in you. Good. Live in the flames. She looks hot, but she is a cold blooded killer, she wilts in the heat. Don't use a fever reducer for God's sake for anything under 102, your body is killing it with fire, let it. Take a shower or cold wash cloth to the head if you wimp out, but don't pop a pillie, yo. Taking a fever reducer is like fighting a final boss and giving it an additional health bar. Ideally, drink a couple of doubles of the cocktail, grab a heavy blanket and sleep it off. The night sweats will be massive but you will have burnt her to cinders.

She may be slow to start, but she is hardcore. Y'all saw the 2 million gif, she creams and squirts, right down your throat and nose. You are not a bitch, so don't swallow, spit that shit out. Often. At least  once a hour, cough and blow your nose. I told you to drink the cocktail, but mix it up with strong coffee for bronchial dilatation and lots of pure water. Her killshot is creaming until it drowns your lungs, don't let it happen. If you smoke, smoke until you irritate your throat and clear your lungs. Spit that shit out. If it gets too thick, use the guaifenesin and double your water intake or it won't do anything.

And look at your spit and snot, both for thickness and color. Thickness means you need the g pill and more hydration. Yellow and especially green, tells you it's time for antibiotics. She has a very dirty twat, it's even made the news how many people she has been fucking lately. Nip secondary bacterial sinus infections in the bud.

Her face grind is intense, and you will wake up with your eyes glued shut with her dried juices. And that shit nasty, alot of you will get pink eye from her dirty twat.

https://www.aao.org/headline/alert-important-coronavirus-context

Shout out to my fellow wheezers and hay fever victims, get on your maintenance meds right now, and keep your inhalers at the ready.

Time to get real. Dudes, we all know there are some chicks that too hardcore for us, 45 minutes later they are demanding more and we are done and panting and limp. So we grab a little blue pill and jump back in the saddle. This chink chick can be just like that, but you need a little red pill, psudoephdrine. If you are short of breath, dizzy apon standing, or wheezing, pop it, but not until now.

Note for my anxiety prone, depressive or bipolar brothers, the red pill is likely to trigger a mania, panic attack, or severe mixed state. Understand the risks, but it is better to breathe and deal with mental crap than choke to death.

Gentleman never tell, but this dirty Chinese chick is no lady. Nevermind how she dresses, this whore hates the D. Maybe a party official touched her when she was young or something. But she abhors the D and she doesn't want you to give it to her. By D, I mean vitamin D. See when that fire is burning in you, your body is unleashing chemical warfare on this chick because unlike you, it sees through that dress with a slit. But she doesn't mind, your body going apeshit and spering until it kills you in the process is her ultimate. So you have to give her the D, hard. Vitamin D helps your body recognize friendly fire and back down.

Major warning to my dark colored skin bros, you already majorly deficitent in Vitamin D if you live in the northern hemisphere, and if you are avoiding A / D milk because of lactose intolerance, you are so fucked. Research other foods rich in vitamin D. But this is /pol/, why warn my African brothers ? Grew up on the Dead Kenedys, Nazi Punks fuck off and Die ! and much love my brothers. And you white NEETs in the basement who haven't got any sunshine on your skin in the last month, you basically niggers too right now.

If she is grinding you down and you are dizzy and the skin under your fingernails is turning blue, got to switch it up. Alot of chicks can only get off on in one specific position, and Corona chan's position is prone boning. Don't lay on your back, turn on your side. Lean forward. Yeah, to deal with this asian chick you have to slant, the irony is off the charts in this timeline. Google proning re mountain climbing and a nyt article about nyc er docs using proning to keep people off ventilators. Also, fatties, Google the same article to learn about pregnancy beds and make your own version. Learn the phenomen of happy hypoxemia, bitch makes you giggle as you about to flatline.


https://www.google.com/amp/s/newyork.cbslocal.com/2020/04/14/coronavirus-covid-19-hypoxemia-high-flow-oxygen-protocol-proning-ventilators/amp/


If you need the next advice, you in trouble. After the first week, it might be smart to start a 81mg daily aspirin regimen. Like all chicks, she likes to fuck with your heart. Severe chest or arm pain, or pressure, take a 500mg and get your ass to a ER.

She really sets you aflame and that is how she glasses your lungs. Steroids are anti-inflammatory, do the math and take them. Possible pychotic issues for my dysfunctional folk once again.

So you beat her first two attacks off and she is pissed. Her major weapons are exhausted, so she goes melee. Guess what fags, she loves Anal. Quit smiling, she is going to peg you against your will. And her strap on is coated with ghost pepper lube. It will hurt and you will go every hour. Mucus only movements. There will be anal leakage dripping that lube down your ass crack with every one of your farts, use a wet wipe every time or you will be walking like a old cowboy.

So you survived the date, congrats, bad ass. Now do nothing but rest for the next couple of weeks. Someone pushing you to go back to wage slaving should get a baseball bat between their eyes. Do only what you feel capable of, and rest. Do the paperwork and collect your country's version of temporary NEET bux.

And handle the two residual issues, first, clots. Read up on how her love scratches cause clots and makes your blood thick, and check how my spice and aspirin recommendations work for blood thinning. Straight Science. Learn the signs of Stroke. https://www.cdc.gov/stroke/signs_symptoms.htm

 Eat a curry or chilli everyday for the next 8 weeks. And that cocktail is full of Quinine, Vitamin C, and Electrolytes, and plants crave that shit, it can't hurt. Then get familiar with Post Viral Syndrome, because you probably going to get it.

Check your BP and get your sugar levels tested, chest MRI is god tier.

She may have crushed your balls, get FSH, LH, and Free T levels.

And save no fap for November, climaxing tells your body you are a viable organism, and raises your immune system levels, it's documented. Girls, flick the bean until you feel clean.

Know your body, listen to it, and look at it. Covid toes are a thing. Rashes too, hydrocortisone helps.

Final note, if her sister decides to come over later aka reinfection with a different strain, dude you so screwed. My only thought is to follow the above advice, lay outside nude to make the maximize amount of Vitamin D, and pray a local hospital is doing convesant plasma transfusions.


Now that we know she comes for the children.....

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2020/04/27/nhs-alert-new-coronavirus-related-syndrome-putting-children/amp/

https://www.msn.com/en-ca/news/canada/mysterious-inflammatory-syndrome-in-children-potentially-linked-to-covid-19-reported-in-montreal/ar-BB13ELay

Learn the different signs, use this guide and get them professional help. Small doses of Mg might help.

t. An old fag who dated her last month and spun her around and pounded her unconscious for now, but my girl got raped harder and relapsed, and is showing Post Viral Syndrome like a mother fucker.


Final thoughts, this bitch mimics...

Pnemonia
Aids
Arortic anerorism ( this is what killed my father, I am dyslexic, fuck spelling you know what I mean. ) And potentially embolisms. Basically clotting going haywire.
Lupus
Kalwaski
Hypogonadism
Daeunge  aka broke bone ( my girl had to literally go on narcotics to deal with the muscular aches)
Endocrine issues from hell, know a girl whos cycle has gone haywire since infection and supposed recovery.
Eye infection and pink eye
Psudodiabates
Leaves your lungs like you inhaled astbetis, spelling again.
Inflammation of major organs
Permanent infection of your ovaries/testes and eyeballs

And I am too drunk to remember the rest, don't know if she was designed, but bitch a multi symptom and multisystemic threat.