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WindStrike

Bob Goes On An Advencha, Session 1

Jan 10th, 2017
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  1. * Darte remains Darte'agnan
  2. * DM kicks Hal, Melizea_Fiammetta, Darte, and Kirran into Western Hyrule Field. You all stand right outside Gerudo Valley, where a massive boulder blocks the way in. In front of the boulder appears to be an ork- I mean Bob, complete with a War Flag an' 'is beautiful liddle accent.
  3. <DM> *Bob turns 'round an' waves at ye all.
  4. <DM> [Bob]: 'ey dere, it's yew guys! Where's da big boss Dex at? 'e 'asn't been 'round in so long.
  5. * Hal waves back
  6. * Melizea_Fiammetta waves, maybe.
  7. <DM> [Bob]: Ya see 'ere mates, oi been thunkin'. Dere's been so much plot been goin' on an' 'round da world, but we's haven't quoit found da cause of dem schemers, so me's was dinkin': wot's wit' dis big ol' rock doin' in front o' grudoo vallee, eh?
  8. * Darte taps his foot. "... What's he got to do with it? The boulder need some eyes plucked out?"
  9. <DM> [Bob]: Dats exactly wot I ment, Zoro!
  10. <DM> *Bob scratches his head, looking at you Darte.
  11. * Melizea_Fiammetta wonders if her huge sword would be able to cut the rock. Probably not.
  12. <Kirran> Well, if anyone is going to be able to break a boulder without exerting effort, it would be Dex.
  13. <DM> [Bob]: Errr... wot's you's name? Actually, better oideyah, dus anywun know wot da plot o' da world is?
  14. * Darte blinks. "...500 acres? 1000?"
  15. * Melizea_Fiammetta pokes the ground with her sword a bit.
  16. <DM> [Bob]: Dat's wot oi was thunkin'!
  17. <Hal> Okay, what evil plots are we stopping this time?
  18. <DM> [Bob]: Well furry guy, we's stoppin' wotevah's been brewin' back dere, dat's wot!
  19. <DM> *I'll tell you this much, it's not frigin' coffee, I hate coffee, coffee can go screw it.
  20. <Hal> I hear that a lot of things going on in Gerudo Desert
  21. <DM> [Bob]: Wot's coffee? Wait, wot's dat voice? YE 'EAR IT TOO?!
  22. * Melizea_Fiammetta rolls her eyes at the word coffee.
  23. <DM> *Yes, because I whisper in your ear, Hal. All the time. You hear lots of things.
  24. <DM> [Bob]: Now den, how's we gettin' through dis big blockin' rock?
  25. <Hal> (Hal doesn't know all of the stuff that is discussed behind the fourth wall)
  26. * Darte smirks. "We could always hoist you over the rock to find out."
  27. <DM> (That's what Hal WANTS you all to think.)_
  28. * DM calculates the wall height and injects it directly into Bob's mind.
  29. <DM> [Bob]: Well, dat wall dere, methunks it's too 'igh to just cloimb o'er.
  30. * Melizea_Fiammetta attempts to poke the rock with her drive blade slightly, and then proceed to just waiting around.
  31. <DM> *Melizea, your poke deals 1 neutral damage!
  32. <DM> Boulder Stats: 9999999999999998/999999999999999999999
  33. * Hal wishes he brought that one spell that would destroy it.
  34. <Kirran> Could always throw a ten sided coin at it
  35. <DM> *Dex appears on top of Bob's head.
  36. <DM> [Bob]: Wot? WOT'S DAT ON ME 'EAD?! WHO'S DERE?!
  37. * Hal rolls his eyes as he notices Dex on top of Bob's head.
  38. * Melizea_Fiammetta attempts to head back into Hyrule Field, just to see if Master DM responds.
  39. <DM> *You head into Hyrule Field only to find yourself cut off by a hamburger.
  40. <Melizea_Fiammetta> "Damn hamburger."
  41. * Melizea_Fiammetta head back to where the others are at.
  42. * Hal fails to comprehend this Culi theory madness
  43. * DM eats the hamburger, only to find it was a hotdog all along. Darn hamsters.
  44. <Dex> Right what's going on?
  45. * Darte is bemused by the hamburger. "This simulation seems pretty limited. What are we running on, then? A Commodore? An Amstrad?"
  46. <Kirran> We're waiting for you to steal the boulder's eyeballs.
  47. <DM> [Bob]: BOB, IT'S YEW- i mean dex
  48. <DM> [Bob]: DEX BOSS IT'S YEW!
  49. * Hal just waits for logic to break, knowing the Eyegouger ways
  50. <Dex> Stealing that boulder.
  51. * Melizea_Fiammetta just pulls out her smartphone to check the time, then simply puts it away and await more nonsense.
  52. <DM> *Dex, one of the smallest creatures on the planet, because the boulder has no Courage or Wisdom, he actually magically steals the massive boulder that's over 100 feet tall and wide and stashes it into his inventory.
  53. <DM> *... he can steal the eyes later.
  54. <DM> [Bob]: ........ why didn' we all thunk of that.
  55. * Hal just keeps facepalming
  56. <Melizea_Fiammetta> "Probably because only one person can ever bend the laws of logical sense."
  57. <Dex> FORWARD TO GLORY TRUSTY BOB
  58. * Hal shrugs and tags along with Bob and Dex.
  59. <Melizea_Fiammetta> "In any case..."
  60. <DM> *OKAY, with the giant plot barrier out of the way, and now that you all have a 5-man party, Bob cannot help you directly on this adventures. Instead...
  61. * Melizea_Fiammetta puts on her Gerudo Mask.
  62. * DM swoops Bob off his feet and takes him to...
  63. <BobDM> Wot? WOT'S DIS?
  64. <BobDM> ME'S GET TA BE DA BIG BOSS?!
  65. * Darte nods. "This is clearly the mechanic the DM wants us to learn and use throughout our adventure, otherwise he wouldn't have made it block the entire entrance to the rest of the universe."
  66. <BobDM> 'EY DEX- EY, I 'EARD DAT, YEW SAYIN' I WASN'T USEFUL TA YEW DEX?!
  67. <Hal> What is a DM?
  68. <BobDM> WELL DEN
  69. <BobDM> DAT'S IT
  70. <BobDM> WE'S GOTS A NEW LIDDLE QUESTIES 'ERE
  71. * Melizea_Fiammetta is now Gerudo enough to Darude - Sandstorm.
  72. <BobDM> *Yew all enter da abyss o' darkness filled by da lack o' plot in frunt of ye.
  73. <Dex> See. Rapid promotion comes to those who join me.
  74. <BobDM> *Darte, yew suddenly suffah 1 point o' neutral damage fer no reason wutsoevah.
  75. <Darte> 14h 10m
  76. <Melizea_Fiammetta> 8h, 10m | Gerudo Mask Equipped
  77. * Hal flinches after seeing Darte randomly stumble in pain. (Oh lord)
  78. * Darte winces, pulling his glasses off and rubbing them slightly. "Oh. Just a boulder. Carry on, then."
  79. <BobDM> *Ye all appear in wot appears ta be a musty cave w/ dark darkness all 'round ye. 'owevah, dere appears ta be a liddle loight comin' from da middle o' da room. Anywun care ta reach it?
  80. <Kirran> I blame Geodudes.
  81. * Amilena puts up a convincing cardboard cutout of the boulder to fill in the gap, winks, and disappears.
  82. * BobDM throws a geodude at Amilena to chase her outta da quest.
  83. * Hal also has a Magic Candle
  84. <Dex> I got this.
  85. * Kirran uses his magic candle simultaneously.
  86. <Kirran> Triple Magic Candle time.
  87. * Dex pulls out his magic candle.
  88. * DM is back, Bob found the popcorn and I couldn't stand the crazy typing, it was turning me into an Ork.
  89. * Melizea_Fiammetta got no candle, only fire magic and a huge sword.
  90. <DM> *Okay, you all find your magic candles and whip 'em out simultaneously, weary of the light ahead.
  91. <Dex> I'm so tired of this light ahead.
  92. <Kirran> F' that light.
  93. <DM> *Actually, that light f's you, Kirran.
  94. <Hal> ...
  95. <DM> *Kirran, roll your Wisdom for no apparent reason.
  96. <DM> *Please. I insist.
  97. <Kirran> $25d10
  98. <Navi> Kirran: You rolled 25 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 3, 4, 8, 3, 4, 7, 10, 10, 5, 2, 8, 7, 7, 2, 6, 5, 3, 5, 7, 2, 7, 9, 4, 1 and 4. Total: 133. Successes: 16.
  99. * Darte continues to be baffled. Is this a seance or a vigil?
  100. <DM> *16, eh? Okay, good enough for me.
  101. <Dex> More like a seance for a virgin.
  102. <DM> *The light in the middle of the cave disappears. Your magic candles illuminate the rest of the room, only to find it's not a cave, it-
  103. <DM> .............
  104. * Hal steps back
  105. * Melizea_Fiammetta just waits around, poking the ground with her sword in boredom.
  106. <DM> *Okay, screw the setting. It's a frigin' torture chamber. Guillotines, sawblades, everything you could possibly mess with via a gravity gun in ravenholm.
  107. <DM> *Except this isn't black mesa, and you have no gravity gun.
  108. <Hal> What the heck?!?
  109. <Melizea_Fiammetta> ((Can I inspect the stuff))
  110. <Melizea_Fiammetta> ((Probably not))
  111. * Darte hums and haws. "Well. Someone's clearly bored." He taps at a particularly ornate iron maiden.
  112. * Kirran waits in the shadows.
  113. <DM> *There appears to be a few dead dark-skinned women laying around, all bloodied up and not so lively after god knows what.
  114. <DM> *Darte, roll Courage vs.......
  115. <DM> $1d50
  116. <Navi> DM: You rolled 1 Die with 50 Sides. Result: 10.
  117. <DM> *Nvm, you pass.
  118. <DM> *Dangit Navi, be in my frigin' favor for once.
  119. <Darte> $30d10
  120. <Navi> Darte: You rolled 30 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 1, 6, 7, 2, 5, 9, 6, 3, 1, 10, 10, 1, 9, 4, 3, 7, 1, 9, 8, 6, 3, 10, 1, 10, 1, 7, 9, 4, 7 and 2. Total: 162. Successes: 21.
  121. * Dex looks for loot on the bodies.
  122. <Kirran> $1d100
  123. <Navi> Kirran: You rolled 1 Die with 100 Sides. Result: 59.
  124. <DM> *Darte, you earn a COUNTERATTACK on-
  125. <DM> .......
  126. <DM> are you kidding me Dex
  127. <DM> *Darte, you earn a counterattack with the iron maiden..... on Dex. You don't have to use it now. Just..... stash the Iron Maiden in your inventory.
  128. <Dex> Corpse looting is on my business card.
  129. <Kirran> (It's the Fallout principle at work.)
  130. <DM> *And you can freely activate that later at any time.
  131. <DM> *Okay, Dex, you find, from looting...
  132. * Darte does a Dex and steals the iron maiden. What a great addition to the collection back home.
  133. <DM> *1 rupee, a necklace, some broken swords, wirt's leg, uhhh...
  134. * Melizea_Fiammetta just waits somehow in the grayest area of dark and light.
  135. <Hal> Eh, as long as it's treasure and I don't have to do something really evil, I'm happy
  136. <DM> *Melizea, you find a door! It doesn't stare blankly at you, it opens with wide arms wide open, but not like Creed.
  137. * Melizea_Fiammetta pokes the door with her drive blade just to be safe.
  138. <DM> *Hal, you're teaming with Dex. You've already epitomized evil.
  139. <Darte> 14h 10m | Hauling the Steel Virgin
  140. <Kirran> (The door has arms? :o )
  141. <DM> *The door now hugs you Melizea_Fiammetta.
  142. * Hal looks around the room, keeping his materia out.
  143. <DM> *Do you accept?
  144. <DM> *Hal, the Materia Girl- I mean what?
  145. <Hal> (As a DM, I am evil)
  146. * Darte takes a chance on a pair of filthy, rusted manacles.
  147. <DM> $google manacles
  148. * Melizea_Fiammetta does nothing special, and waits until the door does something nonsense because she knows she is going to die to a door no matter what she does. Damned doors.
  149. <DM> (I can't science)\
  150. * Darte shakes the manacles hand-holds.
  151. <DM> *The door hugs you Melizea_Fiammetta. You get another fairy!
  152. <Dex> OK. Hands up if you want to leave the creepy torture dungeon.
  153. <Hal> $google How to torture Windstrike
  154. <Kirran> (The door had better raise it's hand)
  155. * Dex raises his hand.
  156. * Darte shakes his head. "Just one moment, I've only just met these fellows."
  157. <DM> *The door then disappears. Ahead, you can see a hallway with two Gerudo guarding the door on the other side. They have not spotted you.
  158. * Melizea_Fiammetta somehow has no idea what just happened, and accepts the fairy, before she dies.
  159. * Hal hides from the Gerudo and puts up an illusion of the door closer to the Gerudo.
  160. * Hal spends 4 Magic to do so
  161. <Kirran> Bomb arrows, or big bomb arrows?
  162. <DM> *They happen to be checking out some inscription on one of the walls.
  163. * DM high-fives Hal on the illusionary door trick.
  164. * Melizea_Fiammetta hides alongside the other party members.
  165. <Kirran> (I'm in the shadows)
  166. * Darte 's glasses glint in the light as he turns to the newly opened door. He paces through it, standing behind the Gerudo pair and examining the inscription as well.
  167. <Kirran> I'm not apologizing if Darte gets hit with a bomb arrow explosion.
  168. <DM> *Okay, in your guys attempts to hide in the shadows, you bump into Kirran, and thus you all collapse in a pile in front of the illusionary door. The Gerudo hear the sound and look and see...... Darte.
  169. <Hal> 18h 9m
  170. <DM> [Gerudo]: .. you're not the master.
  171. <DM> *The inscription on the wall appears to be a right arrow.
  172. <DM> *They do not notice the rest of you courtesies of Hal's illusionary door trick.
  173. * Darte shakes his head. "This, ah. Has historic significance?" He adjusts the glasses haughtily.
  174. * Dex whispers. "Gimme two bombs."
  175. * Hal quickly re-orients himself and stands to the side of the door.
  176. <DM> *Darte, you attempt to adjust some imaginary glasses, only to rub regret all over your face.
  177. <DM> [Gerudo]: Who are you?! Where did you come from?!
  178. <DM> *Both the Gerudo draw their swords.
  179. * Dex whispers. "Or two bomb arrows. Whatever."
  180. * Darte sniffs, standing up look at the individuals more closely. "From inspecting your simply wonderful iron maiden collection. Some practically vintage pieces in there."
  181. * Kirran readies some bombs arrows.
  182. <Melizea_Fiammetta> ((Wait, so where is Dex))
  183. * Dex whispers "I'm standing right here. I'm camouflaged."
  184. <DM> [Gerudo]: Iron maidens? You mean those DISGRACES that some evil MISCREANT left there and called our DEAD SISTERS actual IRON MAIDENS?
  185. * Melizea_Fiammetta spawns two bombs and hands them over to Dex.
  186. * Darte shrugs. "Sounds like a compliment to me. I hear they can seriously shred."
  187. * Dex sneaks up all camouflageded and sticks lit bomb arrows down the guards pants.
  188. <DM> *Darte, you recall the image of a shredded Gerudo.
  189. <Kirran> "Run for the hills..."
  190. <DM> *One of the Gerudos tries to slice Darte's head off, however...
  191. * Darte suddenly looks a little sickly.
  192. <DM> *Dex, roll Wisdom vs. Gerudo's wisdom!
  193. <Dex> $13d10
  194. <Navi> Dex: You rolled 13 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 8, 7, 3, 10, 2, 2, 6, 4, 3, 5, 3, 3 and 4. Total: 60. Successes: 6.
  195. <DM> $20d10
  196. <Navi> DM: You rolled 20 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 7, 6, 10, 7, 4, 8, 2, 7, 7, 2, 7, 8, 9, 5, 2, 5, 6, 8, 3 and 3. Total: 116. Successes: 15.
  197. <Kirran> You do know I'm going to launch more bomb arrows into that chaos, right?
  198. * Hal keeps himself poised, keeping his shield up.
  199. <Dex> SOOOOOOOOO.... I got you a present?
  200. <DM> *Gerudo ends up spinning quickly, her sword missing Darte's neck and instead slicing the fuse right off the bomb.
  201. <Kirran> (Someone call Michael Bay.)
  202. * Melizea_Fiammetta puts her massive drive blade in front of her in an attempt to defend against whatever may come up.
  203. <DM> ....... oh right, second bomb.
  204. <Dex> The other is still lit you know.
  205. <Dex> NOBODY MOVE THIS IS A HOSTAGE SITUATION
  206. <Dex> NOT MY FIRST
  207. <Dex> NOT MY LAST
  208. <Dex> PUT DOWN THE SWORDS
  209. <DM> *Too late, the bomb goes off. Dex, you're still standing right. There. Along with Darte.
  210. * Kirran starts firing bombs
  211. * Darte screams like a little girl as the bomb goes off.
  212. <DM> *Darte and Dex, roll Courage! Same w/ ou two, Gerudos!
  213. <Kirran> $35d10
  214. <Navi> Kirran: You rolled 35 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 10, 2, 5, 1, 8, 9, 4, 2, 2, 7, 5, 8, 2, 5, 4, 6, 2, 6, 2, 8, 8, 8, 6, 6, 3, 7, 1, 8, 4, 3, 1, 4, 5, 5 and 5. Total: 172. Successes: 21.
  215. <DM> $30d10 for Gerudo1
  216. <Navi> DM: You rolled 30 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 2, 3, 8, 3, 4, 4, 8, 2, 5, 2, 6, 10, 3, 1, 2, 1, 9, 10, 6, 4, 2, 3, 5, 10, 6, 7, 10, 9, 2 and 5. Total: 152. Successes: 19.
  217. <DM> $30d10 for Gerudo2
  218. <Navi> DM: You rolled 30 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 3, 3, 8, 1, 6, 2, 4, 4, 3, 9, 5, 8, 8, 8, 9, 10, 9, 7, 9, 4, 1, 1, 7, 5, 10, 2, 1, 9, 1 and 2. Total: 159. Successes: 18.
  219. * Darte leaps inside the iron maiden to hide from the blast.
  220. <DM> *Alright-
  221. <Kirran> And I use double arrow.
  222. <DM> *Okay, since Dex just phased out of the explosion and into Kirran's double bomb arrows...... KIRRAN, ROLL YER ATTACK TWICE AND DEX, ROLL YOUR COURAGE TWICE!
  223. * Hal hears the blasts and steps backwards
  224. * Melizea_Fiammetta does the same.
  225. <Kirran> $35d10
  226. <Navi> Kirran: You rolled 35 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 4, 4, 5, 1, 4, 10, 2, 8, 3, 4, 6, 8, 2, 4, 5, 10, 3, 4, 6, 2, 7, 6, 2, 3, 10, 2, 5, 1, 1, 6, 3, 4, 10, 7 and 4. Total: 166. Successes: 19.
  227. <DM> *Nvm, Dex manages to bypass the explosion AND the subsequent explosions!
  228. <DM> *However, poor ol' Darte, TRAPPED in his IRON MAIDEN just SHREDDING AWAY at all the explosions and COLLAPSING CEILINGS and MORE EXPLOSIVE ARROWS..... can't defend cause he's stuck.
  229. <Dex> Imma NINJA!!
  230. <Kirran> He's performing the Dance of the Dead.
  231. <DM> *Darte, you find yourself shredding to the Crypt of the Necroda- oh my god Dex, why.
  232. * Dex steals the iron maiden with Darte inside.
  233. <DM> *Dex is apparently focused enough, he thinks he can bypass the speed of light and save Dart-
  234. * Hal drinks a Magic Jar to recoperate this Magic
  235. <DM> *Alrighty! Annnd Dex is no longer focused dodging as he- are you kidding me.
  236. <DM> *........ roll your Courage
  237. <Dex> $20d10
  238. <Navi> Dex: You rolled 20 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 4, 6, 5, 1, 9, 9, 6, 6, 10, 9, 1, 10, 2, 4, 5, 4, 1, 1, 5 and 4. Total: 102. Successes: 13.
  239. <DM> screw it
  240. <DM> *Dex, let's just say you cause a temporal singularity as you somehow do all the following in a fraction of a second while somehow not taking any damage:
  241. <DM> *Drops bombs into a Gerudo's pants, fails that, one bomb goes off point-blank, you dodge backwards, matrix dodge Kirran's bomb arrows, then scurry back around, stash the Iron Maiden inside your- WAIT
  242. <DM> WAIT
  243. <DM> WAIT WAIT WAIT
  244. <DM> I KNEW IT
  245. <Darte> *MUFFLED SCREAMING*
  246. * Hal still can't see the whole commotion happening
  247. * Melizea_Fiammetta is still just waiting, defending with her sword.
  248. * Hal can still hear it though
  249. <DM> *You stash the Iron Maiden in your inventory, despite the fact it's technically an Inventoryception, and then still scurry out of an explosion that's already started because, precisely of this reason, the ceiling collapsed, thus allowing for its falling debris to be considered "dangerous terrain" and allowing you cross through it with no penalties.
  250. <DM> *You zoom through Hal's illusionary door just as the rest of the hallway collapses entirely.
  251. * Kirran says "Hallowed be thy name"
  252. * Dex takes out iron maiden and lets Darte out.
  253. <Hal> What in the world-
  254. <DM> *Darte can finally breathe again.
  255. * Hal cuts himself off as he suddenly has the realization that maybe he shouldn't question Dex
  256. <Dex> SECRET COW LEVEL TIME
  257. <DM> *Hal, due to your connection with nature, you hear all semblance of the laws of physics and the universe crash behind existence.
  258. <Kirran> Good to have the old team back together. I'm surprised Red hasn't drunkenly stumbled out of a wall somewhere yet though.
  259. <DM> *How do you think the iron maiden incident happened, Kirran?
  260. * Dex combines Wirt's leg with a tome of town portal in the Horodric Cube.
  261. <Kirran> Oh god, we're not in Red's dreams are we?
  262. <Hal> I don't know if we are in someone's Nightmare or not
  263. <DM> *Dex, you use the horadric cube..... aka the iron maiden, to crush together wirt's leg with a tome of town portal. Congrats. You now have a scrunched together tome with the wirt's leg.
  264. * Melizea_Fiammetta pulls out her potential blade, throws it upwards, catches it, then stashes it back into her inventory while still holding onto the drive blade with one hand, with said drive blade defending her.
  265. <Darte> *DISTORTED MUFFLING*
  266. <DM> *Oh right, and dead Darte.
  267. <DM> *Whelp, Darte's dead.
  268. <Hal> Does anyone have any Magical Bone Dust?
  269. * DM hands Dex the ACTUAL horadric cube.
  270. * Melizea_Fiammetta opens up her inventory.
  271. * Darte has no fairies and remains a limpotent corpse
  272. <Hal> If nobody has it, I can revive him
  273. <DM> *Okay, with the hallway now shattered, a new hallway, this time with no guards in it, opens up conveniently right next to the collapsed hallway.
  274. * Melizea_Fiammetta doesn't see anything she would risk using to revive.
  275. <Kirran> I can have Raine do her thing.
  276. <Kirran> >: )
  277. * Hal casts Fairy Beam on Darte
  278. * Hal revives Darte to 9 Hearts
  279. * Melizea_Fiammetta then closes her virtual inventory.
  280. <DM> *Raine would loooove to get out and enjoy some strawberry midgetcake!
  281. <Darte> 9h 10m | Glaring dubiously at Dex.
  282. * Dex shrugs.
  283. <DM> *Darte is revived and technically still in the Iron Maiden, so actually, you revive the Iron Mai- nah I'm kidding, Darte is out of the Iron Maiden.
  284. <Hal> 18h 7m | Windstrike, you are dead.
  285. <Melizea_Fiammetta> 8h, 10m | Gerudo Mask Equipped
  286. <Dex> OK Bob. What are we doing.
  287. <DM> *Bob appears in the newly formed hallway.
  288. <Kirran> (Can Bob tunnel through rubble?)
  289. <DM> [Bob]: 'ey Dex Boss, lookey wot I found in da DM's hideout! A literal plot tunnel!
  290. <DM> *Kirran, I award you another 10-sided coin.
  291. * Hal pops a magic jar open and drinks it, recovering 4 Magic
  292. * Darte mumbles something about a tunnel plot.
  293. <Dex> Good work Bob! This is why you're my right hand Bob.
  294. <Kirran> Noice.
  295. <DM> *However, you're forced to use it this session.
  296. <Hal> 18h 11m
  297. <DM> *There's a slight laughter from Bob in response to Dex's "right hand" comment.
  298. <Hal> (I am going to ban the usage of Don't Hug Me I'm Scared by anyone other than the DM)
  299. <DM> [Bob]: Come on den, go on through thar, dere be gud plot killin's ahead, mateys!
  300. <Hal> (Aside from when everyone else has to roll one)
  301. <Kirran> I get the strangest feeling that an oddly accented Goron made this tunnel.
  302. <Kirran> Weird.
  303. <Hal> Alrighty lets go on.
  304. <Darte> (Can we use 'This House Has People In It' instead?)
  305. * Darte trots through the tunnel, this time at the rear of the group.
  306. * Hal follows the group through the newly-formed tunnel
  307. * Melizea_Fiammetta follows.
  308. * Kirran follows, looking around for Baegba.
  309. <DM> *Alrighty, you all head into ze next room. It appears to be a grand entrance hall, what with glorious pillars of doom, awesome dust particuil effects systems, a statue of Baegba, shattered on the ground, and at the end of the hallway, what appears to be an army of Gerudo Warriors, all bowing before... some cloaked figure.
  310. * Dex is sitting on Bob's shoulders.
  311. <DM> *Aww, a pity Amilena isn't here for the BS detector to go off.
  312. <Kirran> Missed opportunity, that...
  313. <Hal> 9.9
  314. <DM> *The two Gerudo you attempted to kill earlier are at the back, on guard duty, and noticeably a bit darker skinned than usual...
  315. <DM> *Dex, fyi, Bob is not entering this room with ye.
  316. <DM> [Bob]: Go on, me's gunner foind moar plot boipasses in DM's warhouse!
  317. <Dex> Hey, what's up?
  318. * Hal ponders on what to do to hide from the Gerudos
  319. * Melizea_Fiammetta wonders what to do to hide.
  320. <DM> *The army of Gerudos doesnt' seem to notice you all, as they're alllllll the way on the other end of the hall, which is pretty far. You hear a voice suddenly echo throughout the hall.
  321. <DM> [Cloaked Figure #6054w67854027]: My Gem-had- wait, this isn't star trek
  322. * Darte tilts his head from the rear. "Is that an open market salesman?"
  323. * Dex waves at the retreating Gerudos.
  324. <Dex> Wait for us!
  325. <DM> [Cloaked Figure]: My warriors, yes, mwahahahah, today is the day we march into Hyrule, what with-
  326. <DM> *Dex blew your guys' cover.
  327. * Kirran is still hiding in the shadows.
  328. * Hal runs back
  329. <DM> [Cloaked Figure]: Ahh...... well well well, look who we have here.
  330. * Melizea_Fiammetta follows Hal, fast.
  331. <DM> *Hal, you run back, but the Hallway was not a Halway, and thus the door closed on you. You're trapped.
  332. <Dex> Hi! I represent a growing mercenary business.
  333. * DM takes 1 pun damage.
  334. <Dex> I'm looking to diversify synergistically into new markets.
  335. * Melizea_Fiammetta just stands still.
  336. <Kirran> Oh, we're going with the vacuum salesman ploy again.
  337. <DM> [Cloaked Figure]: Does it include a diversity of exploded hallways?
  338. * DM points to the door next to the one you came out of, to reveal the hallway you guys blew up.
  339. <Dex> Yeah we saw that on the way in.
  340. <Dex> Who'd do that kind of thing?
  341. <Hal> (Where are the pillars, what size they are?)
  342. * Melizea_Fiammetta meanwhile is technically wearing a Gerudo Mask, but still.
  343. <Kirran> It was the first great scam.
  344. <DM> (The pillars are scattered through the whole room, and they're really massive. Not as wide as the boulder someone pick-pocketed, but definitely taller.
  345. <Dex> Anyway I couldn't help overhear you're doing a little light war planning here. I Was wondering if we could work out some sort of... arrangement?
  346. <DM> [Cloaked Figure]: Hmm, business mercenaries, you say? Well, I just happened to remember another incident with business mercenaries.. oh where was it again?
  347. <Dex> A sort of... rupee - for - murder type of arrangement.
  348. <DM> [Cloaked Figure]: Oh that's right, you're the guys that RUINED my plans at the Deku Palace!
  349. <DM> [Cloaked Figure]: You want rupee for murder? I'll give you plenty of that here.
  350. * Hal hides behind a pillar.
  351. <Dex> Are you sure that was us?
  352. <Dex> I don't think that was us.
  353. <Dex> Hey guys was that us?
  354. <Dex> The guys don't think that it was us.
  355. <DM> [Cloaked Figure]: Of course I would. In fact..... I recognize you folks. I've seen you all before...
  356. * Hal has no idea that what happened at the Deku Palace was Dex' shenanigans
  357. * Melizea_Fiammetta scratches her head.
  358. * Darte rolls his shoulder nonchalantly. "We've chewed through a bunch of the wooden twerps."
  359. <DM> *You all suddenly recognize him as memory possibly kicks in slightly...
  360. <Hal> (except Hal, who wasn't there)
  361. <DM> *It was a whiiiiiiiile ago.... back on the peak of Death Mountain. Actually, I'm not sure who of you was there.
  362. <DM> *Maybe Darte...
  363. <Dex> Nope, you don't look familiar.
  364. * Melizea_Fiammetta attempts to look around for a random pillar nearby to hide near. If one is found, she crawls over there, slowly.
  365. <Hal> (Oh)
  366. <Hal> (That's right, Agahnim
  367. <DM> *Darte, you recognize Mr. Agahnim here.
  368. * Darte lifts a hand in greeting. "YO AGGIE"
  369. <DM> [Agahnim]: That's right, me.
  370. * Hal recongises Agahnim
  371. <Kirran> Why am I not surprised.
  372. <Dex> I'm not surprised. Who is this guy.
  373. <DM> [Agahnim]: And now that you're here, crashing my party- hello furry guy as well - ... lemme just say WHO STEALS A BOULDER?!
  374. <Dex> Can I get some background here?
  375. <DM> *Dex, your Pokedex lights up at the sound of Agahnim.
  376. <Dex> Do you mean... this boulder?
  377. * Melizea_Fiammetta has never seen Agahnim, but whatever.
  378. * Dex goes boulder bowling.
  379. <DM> *Agahnim, a cloaky type Pokemon with lots of magic and bs.
  380. <Kirran> (Can I fire bombs at it to accelerate the rolling process?)
  381. <DM> *Alrighty. Dex...... roll your Power....... vs. the boulder's Power.
  382. <Hal> (AFK, autofollow)
  383. <Kirran> (Drop the boulder, dodge the falling, and then kick it because it has no courage stat.)
  384. <DM> *A massive boulder suddenly and spontaneously appears in the middle of the room, creating a wall between you guys and the large army and Agahnim.
  385. * Darte is very glad he is at the rear of the group.
  386. * DM procs Darte's Iron Maiden counterattack on Dex as he's attempting mid-lift to lift the boulder.
  387. <Dex> $25d10
  388. <Navi> Dex: You rolled 25 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 10, 7, 9, 1, 7, 4, 3, 10, 4, 9, 4, 7, 5, 9, 7, 3, 7, 2, 9, 7, 1, 10, 6, 3 and 3. Total: 147. Successes: 18.
  389. <DM> *It cannot roll Courage.
  390. <DM> *The boulder.... doesn't move. Instead, it takes 9 damage.
  391. <DM> Boulder Stats: 9999999999999989/999999999999999999999
  392. <Kirran> It's also not on the ground, so it should at least move forward a little.
  393. <DM> *Ah, but it is on the ground, unless Dex was THAT insistent on him lifting it, in which case it's on Dex's corpse.
  394. <Kirran> I could just throw this convenient coin at it.
  395. * DM pokes Darte - come on man, pick a counterattack. I insist.
  396. <Darte> (Does it come for freeeeeee?)
  397. <DM> (yes)
  398. <DM> *A voice from da 'eavens kicks in:
  399. <DM> [Bob]: Whoi not jes inventory it an' den just hookshot 'bove da armee an' den drop da bouldah from yer inventory?
  400. * Darte attempts to Extinguish the flames of the boulder's passion for its job.
  401. <DM> ......
  402. <DM> ....................
  403. <Kirran> $1d10
  404. <Navi> Kirran: You rolled 1 Die with 10 Sides. Result: 1. Successes: 0.
  405. <Kirran> Nope.
  406. <Kirran> Testing something.
  407. <DM> *Kirran totally did not throw a ten-sided coin.
  408. <DM> *Howeve,r now that the boulder has cooled its passionfruit down, it's willin' to chill with ya, Dex. You guys could start a family together.
  409. <Kirran> 0_0
  410. <DM> *Okay, as you guys are deliberating how to evilfy a boulder, raindrops of literal darkness start to pour down around you.
  411. <Hal> (Back)
  412. <DM> [Agahnim]: Hah, I figured it out! You can't blot my voice forever!
  413. <DM> [Agahnim]: You guys still haven't figured out what to do with that boulder? Fine then. Have it your way[/burger king].
  414. * Melizea_Fiammetta doesn't even care, is just completely unphased by the rain.
  415. <DM> *There's enough Rainedrops for Raine to channel the bloodlust of the great strawberry bloodcake and become one with the boulder!
  416. <Hal> 0.0
  417. * Dex bottles a bunch of the liquid.
  418. <DM> *Kirran, Dex's stupid question caused Raine to fuse with the boulder. The boulder...... is now a sadistic bipolar fairy boulder.
  419. <Kirran> Oh for the love of...Raine, get out of there.
  420. <Kirran> You know what, better idea. Go give Aghanim a hug.
  421. <DM> [Raine]: WITH PLEASURE!
  422. <DM> [Raine]: HEY AGGIIIIIIEEEEEEEE
  423. * Melizea_Fiammetta attempts to bottle the raindrops, but watches as the bottle dissipates.
  424. <DM> *The boulder actually rolls towards the other side of the room.
  425. <Darte> (Raine makes like a door and hugs)
  426. <Hal> What
  427. <Hal> is
  428. <DM> *CONGRATULATIONS GUYS, YOU FOUND A WAY TO ROLL THE BOULDER.
  429. <Hal> happening
  430. <Kirran> Raine fixes everything.
  431. <Dex> Nice team work guys. HIGH FIVE!
  432. * Melizea_Fiammetta goes back to being unamused.
  433. <Hal> (Does it break the pillars?)
  434. <DM> *The boulder crashes into the other side of the room, shooting Raine out of the boulder and into her bottle.
  435. <DM> *Yes it does, come to think of it. The ceiling starts to shake as structural collapse becomes imminent.
  436. * Kirran puts a small piece of cake in Raine's bottle.
  437. <Hal> Guys, let's get outta here
  438. * Hal hurriedly looks for an exit
  439. <DM> [Raine]: Aww fizzedity doogles, they were all an illusion, no blood for the cherry gods!
  440. <DM> *Raine goes to sleep on the piece of cake.
  441. * Melizea_Fiammetta looks around for an exist.
  442. <Dex> That robed bastard has an army AND probably a lot of loot.
  443. <DM> *The boulder spontaneously disappears, revealing a door on the far side of the room, where that army was.
  444. * Hal dashes to the door
  445. <Dex> AFTER THAT LOOTSACK!
  446. * Dex dashes to the door even faster.
  447. * Hal goes through the door to ensure he escapes the falling ceiling
  448. * Melizea_Fiammetta falls the rest of the party.
  449. * Kirran is already through the door before anyone else thanks to teleporting.
  450. <DM> *Dex, you dash as fast you can, get to the door..... and stop, per your wording. Hal zooms straight past you.
  451. * Darte ambles along behind the group Magoo-style.
  452. <DM> *Kirran, you teleported a bit too far...
  453. * Dex ambles through the doorway.
  454. <DM> *As the room behind you all collapses and you're making your way to the next room, Kirran has found himself smack dab right in-between......wait for it.
  455. <DM> *Kirran...... I hear you really love Wisps.
  456. <Kirran> FFFFuuuu......
  457. * Melizea_Fiammetta is still following the party.
  458. <Dex> Always make a casual entrance.
  459. <DM> *Kirran, your clothes catch on fire due to proximity to the wisps...... and from your own sense of self-screwedness.
  460. <DM> *The rest of you finally get to the room to see your supposed ninja Sheikah friend doing a hilarious fire dance as he screams like a pansy around the existence of two Wisps.
  461. * Hal looks in horror as Kirran gets caught on Fire
  462. * Hal casts Extinguish on Kirran
  463. * DM points and laughs.
  464. <Kirran> Well, at least my clothes are made of dragonhide, so I shouldn't get too toasty.
  465. * Melizea_Fiammetta just stares blankly, like a T_T expression.
  466. <Dex> When a problem comes along.
  467. <Dex> YOU MUST WHISP IT!
  468. <DM> *Well played. Kirran, you're a bit toasty, but actually fine.
  469. <DM> *Dex, take 1 pun damage. Now.
  470. <Dex> more like +1 pun healing
  471. <Kirran> (But now I have to either go berzerk or huddle in a corner.
  472. <Kirran> $1d2
  473. <Navi> Kirran: You flipped 1 coin. Result: Tails.
  474. <DM> *The door behind you all shuts, with the two Gerudo you tried to kill earlier appear behind you, with quite the vengeance.
  475. <Kirran> Hide in a corner it is.
  476. <DM> [Gerudo]: It's time... for a bit explosive revenge!
  477. <Dex> QUESTION!
  478. * Hal raises his shield and tucks the Poison Materia in his hands.
  479. <Dex> I was willing to blow myself up AND collapse the ceiling on you guys.
  480. <Dex> AND I survived it.
  481. <Dex> I didn't even take damage AND I saved the fish over there.
  482. <Dex> DO YOU REALLY WANT TO DO THIS?
  483. <DM> *They stare blankly at you as they draw their weapons.
  484. <Kirran> Nopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenope
  485. <Hal> More like you killed Darte
  486. * Kirran hides in the corner.
  487. <Dex> I KILLED HIM ON MY OWN TERMS!
  488. <DM> [Gerudo]: ... yeah the lizard dies first. Kill them all.
  489. * Melizea_Fiammetta draws out her weapon.
  490. <DM> *IT'S A BATTLE! Except uhh... for initiatives folks, roll it as $1d10, not $init 1d10, or whatever your guys' initiative roll is.
  491. <Dex> Don't say I didn't warn you.
  492. * Darte blinks. "I'm a fish you... oh, Dex. Sure, start with him."
  493. <Darte> $1d10
  494. <Navi> Darte: You rolled 1 Die with 10 Sides. Result: 4. Successes: 0.
  495. <DM> $1d15 for GerudoWarrior1
  496. <Hal> (enemy stats?)
  497. <Navi> DM: You rolled 1 Die with 15 Sides. Result: 2.
  498. <DM> $1d15 for GerudoWarrior2
  499. <Navi> DM: You rolled 1 Die with 15 Sides. Result: 1.
  500. <Melizea_Fiammetta> $1d10
  501. <Navi> Melizea_Fiammetta: You rolled 1 Die with 10 Sides. Result: 8. Successes: 1.
  502. <Hal> $1d10
  503. <Navi> Hal: You rolled 1 Die with 10 Sides. Result: 1. Successes: 0.
  504. <Kirran> $1dNope
  505. <DM> $1d10 for Wisp1
  506. <Navi> DM: You rolled 1 Die with 10 Sides. Result: 7. Successes: 1.
  507. <DM> $1d10 for Wisp2
  508. <Hal> $1d10 for Hal
  509. <Navi> Hal: You rolled 1 Die with 10 Sides. Result: 6. Successes: 1.
  510. <Navi> DM: You rolled 1 Die with 10 Sides. Result: 2. Successes: 0.
  511. <Dex> $1d18
  512. <Navi> Dex: You rolled 1 Die with 18 Sides. Result: 6.
  513. <DM> *Okay, no bonus turns.
  514. <DM> enemy stats - https://zurpg.sephiroth.ws/thread-1127-post-2615.html#pid2615
  515. <Kefka> ZURPG: Bob Goes On An Advencha!
  516. <DM> *GerudoWarrior1 was mouthing off at you, Dex.
  517. * Dex attacks GerudoWarrior1 with Eyegouge. Courage vs Courage. EFFECT: This attack does absolutely nothing to a target without eyes.
  518. <Dex> Roll your Courage dice vs. targets' Courage dice
  519. <Dex> Neutral Damage: 5
  520. <Dex> EFFECT 1: The force from the magical energy enables you to literally rip out both of the target's eyes.
  521. <Dex> Target loses depth perception, so they lose 3 Attack Dice & Defense Dice.
  522. <Dex> Target also becomes Blinded:
  523. <Dex> When target does any action that does not target themselves, they roll $1d3. If it is a 1, they automatically miss.
  524. <Dex> DURATION: These effects last until the target is healed back to full Hearts, which will regenerate the target's eyes.
  525. <Dex> EFFECT 2: Additionally, the eyes are added to your War Necklace.
  526. <Dex> $21d10
  527. <Navi> Dex: You rolled 21 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 10, 4, 3, 3, 2, 6, 9, 7, 4, 6, 10, 1, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 4, 1, 10 and 4. Total: 124. Successes: 15.
  528. <DM> $30d10
  529. * Darte casts an Illusion of Sound to kick off an appropriate soundtrack for the battle.
  530. <Navi> DM: You rolled 30 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 6, 4, 5, 6, 1, 6, 3, 7, 7, 5, 6, 10, 8, 9, 2, 3, 8, 8, 7, 3, 7, 8, 10, 5, 6, 8, 2, 9, 8 and 2. Total: 179. Successes: 24.
  531. <Darte> SELL VALUE: 200 Rupees
  532. <Darte> REQUIREMENTS: Water
  533. <Darte> COSTS: Any amount of Magic
  534. <Darte> DESCRIPTION: By manipulating currents of Water, start causing a sound to echo through the room. You can Tether this illusion to an area or to an object.
  535. <Darte> Tether to Area:
  536. <Darte> EFFECT: A sound of your choice begins echoing through the heads of anyone currently in the room.
  537. <Darte> DURATION: Until you leave the room or area.
  538. <Darte> Tether to Object:
  539. <Darte> EFFECT: Anyone approaching the object hears a sound of your choice echo through their heads.
  540. <Darte> DURATION: Until the object is damaged.
  541. <DM> *Dex, you fail miserably as you eyegouge a lack of anything.
  542. <Darte> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0qH2IaSjEU
  543. <Kefka> YouTube: DANCE OF THE FATES - Auralnauts - Views: 407,372 - Length: 3:33 - Uploaded: 2013-03-11 - User: Auralnauts - Likes: 5,602 - Dislikes: 76
  544. <DM> YES
  545. * Hal Covers Darte Fellshard and then he attempts to cast a Slow Missle at Gerudo_Warrior2
  546. <Hal> Roll your Wisdom +2 dice vs. targets' Wisdom dice
  547. <Hal> Damage: +2
  548. <Hal> EFFECT: If it hits, target loses 3 Courage.
  549. <Hal> $22d10
  550. <Navi> Hal: You rolled 22 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 3, 3, 6, 7, 9, 6, 2, 1, 2, 8, 6, 8, 8, 3, 6, 10, 6, 3, 7, 3, 5 and 4. Total: 116. Successes: 14.
  551. <Dex> $8d10
  552. <Navi> Dex: You rolled 8 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 1, 5, 9, 6, 2, 1, 4 and 9. Total: 37. Successes: 4.
  553. <DM> $20d10
  554. <Navi> DM: You rolled 20 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 3, 6, 2, 8, 3, 1, 4, 4, 1, 5, 2, 7, 3, 10, 10, 8, 9, 6, 10 and 6. Total: 108. Successes: 14.
  555. <DM> ROLLOFF
  556. <Hal> $22d10
  557. <Navi> Hal: You rolled 22 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 8, 5, 10, 9, 9, 9, 4, 1, 9, 8, 10, 1, 3, 1, 9, 6, 2, 2, 10, 3, 7 and 2. Total: 128. Successes: 16.
  558. <DM> $20d10
  559. <Navi> DM: You rolled 20 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 9, 9, 1, 8, 6, 10, 4, 6, 5, 1, 1, 4, 10, 9, 3, 3, 9, 1, 10 and 9. Total: 118. Successes: 15.
  560. <DM> *Gerudo Warrior2 uses Quick Speed to reroll!
  561. <DM> $20d10
  562. <Navi> DM: You rolled 20 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 2, 3, 9, 10, 8, 1, 1, 7, 3, 8, 8, 1, 6, 9, 9, 2, 8, 2, 7 and 2. Total: 106. Successes: 12.
  563. <DM> *Annnnnnnd yep it's a hit, lol.
  564. <Melizea_Fiammetta> 8h, 10m | +2 Regen (Armor), +2 Magic Regen (Skill) | +1 ATK Dice (Robe), +1 DEF Dice (Weapon), +2 Armor (Armor) |
  565. * Hal watches as his Slow Missle connects with the Gerudo... but it didn't seem to hurt her
  566. <Hal> 18h 5m | Covering Darte
  567. <DM> 16 - 12 = 4 + 2 - 3 = 3 damage
  568. <DM> *She takes 3 damage.
  569. <DM> *Wisp1 casts Mirage on Gerudo1 and Gerudo2!
  570. <DM> *Wisp casts a powerful illusion on the target, giving them a $1d3 chance to dodge anything.
  571. <DM> Wisp1: 5h, 30m
  572. <Dex> camouflage attempt 1
  573. <Dex> $21d10
  574. <Navi> Dex: You rolled 21 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 3, 7, 6, 2, 6, 8, 4, 5, 9, 4, 3, 10, 7, 2, 10, 4, 2, 1, 1, 4 and 8. Total: 106. Successes: 12.
  575. <DM> *Wisp1, thanks to Extra Support, then casts Daze on..... well Dex disappeared sooooo
  576. <DM> *Wisp1 aims at DJ Darte!
  577. <DM> *Wisp focuses its magic to shine an extremely bright light at a target! On-hit, causes target's rolls to be halved next round
  578. <Darte> EVERYBODY GET DOWN TO THE FORCE
  579. <DM> $30d10
  580. <Navi> DM: You rolled 30 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 8, 5, 3, 7, 3, 5, 4, 5, 2, 6, 7, 9, 1, 9, 4, 9, 3, 9, 8, 6, 1, 8, 2, 3, 8, 6, 5, 8, 6 and 9. Total: 169. Successes: 20.
  581. * Hal is blocking
  582. <DM> (Roll Wisdom to defend or react w/ an action)
  583. <Hal> $24d10
  584. <Navi> Hal: You rolled 24 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 5, 4, 3, 8, 10, 6, 3, 3, 10, 4, 8, 7, 2, 9, 5, 6, 8, 7, 4, 6, 2, 5, 3 and 4. Total: 132. Successes: 16.
  585. <DM> *It's a hit! Hal, enjoy some halved rolls, but that's next round.
  586. * Darte holds one hand to his monitor, head banging, completely missing the attacks aimed his way.
  587. <DM> Wisp1: 5h, 25m
  588. <Darte> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVvxqUhxtDM
  589. * Hal snickers as he knows that won't hurt him that badly
  590. <Kefka> YouTube: Auralnauts - Jedi Dance Fight/Baby Baby Time!! - Views: 39,009 - Length: 6:48 - Uploaded: 2015-12-30 - User: Walter Barris - Likes: 486 - Dislikes: 23
  591. <DM> *GerudoWarrior1 uses Spirit Infuse on self. GerudoWarrior2 does the same.
  592. <DM> *Gerudo Warrior's spirit infuses into the target, giving them +3 Dice on all rolls.
  593. * Kirran continues to huddle in the corner.
  594. <Hal> 18h 5m | Halved rolls next round | +2 Armor
  595. * Melizea_Fiammetta attempts to throw a normal-sized bomb at a random Wisp.
  596. <Melizea_Fiammetta> Target:
  597. <Melizea_Fiammetta> Roll your Power +4 dice vs. targets' Power dice
  598. <Melizea_Fiammetta> Damage: 8
  599. <Melizea_Fiammetta> $25d10
  600. <Navi> Melizea_Fiammetta: You rolled 25 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 8, 10, 9, 2, 7, 5, 10, 2, 8, 2, 10, 7, 7, 2, 10, 7, 5, 8, 3, 7, 7, 8, 2, 4 and 4. Total: 154. Successes: 21.
  601. <DM> $5d10
  602. <Navi> DM: You rolled 5 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 5, 9, 6, 10 and 2. Total: 32. Successes: 5.
  603. <DM> *Wisp1 takes the hit!
  604. <DM> https://zurpg.sephiroth.ws/thread-1127-post-2615.html#pid2615
  605. <Kefka> ZURPG: Bob Goes On An Advencha!
  606. * Melizea_Fiammetta then proceeds to do nothing else.
  607. * Melizea_Fiammetta actually just defends herself.
  608. <DM> *The warp shield absorbs the damage, losing 8 magic instead. However, it procs Magic Regen as a reaction, gaining 10 baack.
  609. <Melizea_Fiammetta> 8h, 10m | +2 Regen (Armor), +2 Magic Regen (Skill) | +1 ATK Dice (Robe), +1 DEF Dice (Weapon), +2 Armor (Armor) |
  610. <DM> Wisp1: 5h, 27m
  611. <DM> [Gerudo]: Change of plans. Let's hit the terrorist over there, shall we?
  612. <DM> *GerudoWarrior1 goes for a Cross Slash on Melizea_Fiammetta!
  613. <DM> *Gerudo Warrior uses both her swords and does a Cross Slash! Deals ful damage and removes 4 Magic on-hit
  614. <DM> $43d10
  615. <Navi> DM: You rolled 43 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 10, 7, 1, 9, 8, 8, 3, 8, 10, 10, 9, 10, 7, 6, 1, 7, 3, 6, 4, 6, 3, 10, 3, 4, 4, 7, 9, 3, 3, 8, 4, 2, 5, 5, 10, 3, 3, 3, 10, 2, 2, 9 and 2. Total: 247. Successes: 31.
  616. * Melizea_Fiammetta commits seppuku instead
  617. <Melizea_Fiammetta> $21d10
  618. <Navi> Melizea_Fiammetta: You rolled 21 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 9, 5, 2, 6, 7, 8, 9, 2, 10, 9, 5, 4, 3, 1, 2, 5, 4, 10, 9, 5 and 5. Total: 120. Successes: 16.
  619. * Melizea_Fiammetta instantly dies.
  620. <Melizea_Fiammetta> 0h
  621. <DM> *GerudoWarrior2 goes for the same thing, this time vs. Hal!
  622. * Hal gulps
  623. <DM> $40d10
  624. <Navi> DM: You rolled 40 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 3, 5, 7, 6, 7, 7, 7, 9, 5, 8, 7, 9, 10, 2, 6, 8, 1, 8, 8, 10, 2, 2, 3, 3, 4, 7, 6, 4, 6, 1, 8, 8, 5, 5, 4, 1, 1, 10, 9 and 6. Total: 228. Successes: 30.
  625. <Hal> $19d10
  626. <Navi> Hal: You rolled 19 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 8, 6, 5, 8, 8, 1, 6, 9, 8, 3, 8, 10, 4, 10, 2, 8, 7, 8 and 1. Total: 120. Successes: 16.
  627. * Melizea_Fiammetta has cleaved herself to death.
  628. * Hal raised his shield to block the attack. He failed to raise it in time, but the resulting blow caused him to lose more magic than life
  629. <Hal> 17h 1m | +2 Armor
  630. <DM> *Wisp2 meanwhile just casts Light Orb three times in a row.... recovering a total of 15 hearts and magic to its allies.
  631. <DM> *All enemies at full health/magic.
  632. <DM> *Kirran, it's end of the round, doing anything?
  633. * Hal would like some more Magic please
  634. <DM> *For the heck of it, I'mma say there's a chandelier hanging suspiciously from the top of the room.
  635. <Kirran> $1d2
  636. <Navi> Kirran: You flipped 1 coin. Result: Heads.
  637. <Kirran> Yep, joining the battle finally.
  638. <DM> *El sinner Sheikah appears from the shadows, it seems.
  639. <DM> *Roundo 2, FIGHT
  640. <Hal> Would you throw some Magic my way?
  641. <DM> *The enemis aren't underneath the chandelier.... yet.
  642. <DM> *You could try to manipulate that a bit though...
  643. <DM> *enemies
  644. <Kirran> How high is the chandelier?
  645. <DM> *It's about 20 feet up, chanedligreoagrie itself extending 5 feet, so the ceiling is 25 feet from the ground.
  646. * Darte continues to Lucio as he finally decides the beat is sick enough to sustain without his attention.
  647. <Darte> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpSHC1dqX1o
  648. <Kefka> YouTube: The Protomen - Light up the Night - Views: 1,504,258 - Length: 4:10 - Uploaded: 2009-08-14 - User: Sabishii Kouen - Likes: 10,420 - Dislikes: 205
  649. <Kirran> What's holding it up?
  650. <DM> *A simple little chain. Surprised it IS holding it up...
  651. <DM> *There's also torches in the corners of the room that are vaguely illuminating the room.
  652. <DM> *It is making Dex's camou not perfect, but the enemies haven't noticed him, so he's fine.
  653. * Darte fires a spray of Glacial Ice at the chandelier itself.
  654. <Darte> COSTS: 5 Magic
  655. <Darte> DESCRIPTION: Fling a large chunk of ice at a target, reducing their speed.
  656. <Darte> Roll your Wisdom +3 dice vs. targets' Wisdom dice
  657. <Darte> Damage: +3
  658. <Darte> EFFECT: If it hits, target loses 5 Courage.
  659. <Darte> $26d10
  660. <Navi> Darte: You rolled 26 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 8, 8, 10, 2, 3, 3, 3, 4, 3, 1, 10, 1, 7, 4, 8, 4, 4, 4, 2, 1, 6, 10, 10, 10, 10 and 2. Total: 138. Successes: 17.
  661. <DM> *Darte, your glacial ice hits the chandelier, knocking it off the chain. However, you also drastically reduced its speed. It's now flying towards the side of the room in slow motion.
  662. <Kirran> Hang on, I've got this. How hard it would it be to teleport to the chandelier and make it head towards the enemies?
  663. <DM> *You'd have to beat 20 successes.
  664. <DM> *w/ Wisdom
  665. <Kirran> We're talking super ninja moves here.
  666. <DM> *If you don't beat 20 successes, you might still do it, it's just not gonna be as smooth...
  667. <Darte> 9h 5m | Jammin' to the Protomans
  668. <Kirran> I've got a lot of movement options.
  669. <Kirran> Let's make it happen.
  670. <Kirran> $25d10
  671. <Navi> Kirran: You rolled 25 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 7, 6, 9, 7, 8, 7, 5, 8, 9, 7, 10, 1, 1, 3, 2, 10, 3, 8, 3, 1, 1, 7, 4, 3 and 8. Total: 138. Successes: 17.
  672. * Dex wraps himself around Kirran and hookshots to the chandlier.
  673. <Hal> Oh boy
  674. <DM> *Okay, Kirran you teleport to the chandelier at the same time Dex latches onto your head and hookshots to the chandelier, thus causing the hookshot to impact at super speeds. Dex, run the hookshot roll, will ya?
  675. <DM> *And add 10 dice to it.
  676. <Hal> Now I remember what being with this group entails
  677. <Dex> $26d10
  678. <Navi> Dex: You rolled 26 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 10, 2, 8, 10, 2, 10, 6, 7, 9, 3, 5, 5, 8, 2, 3, 5, 2, 4, 5, 4, 5, 4, 7, 2, 7 and 7. Total: 142. Successes: 19.
  679. <Dex> $10d10
  680. <Navi> Dex: You rolled 10 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 3, 3, 1, 6, 1, 10, 8, 8, 9 and 9. Total: 58. Successes: 7.
  681. <DM> *Alright Dex........ this is how much you managed to break things.
  682. <DM> *So, you and Kirran are still hookshotting towards the chandelier. However, the hookshot is attached to the chandelier, and physics is causing the motion of you guys to cause the chandelier to continue to move. Aka, you've created perpetual motion on a chandelier that's now crashing from one wall to another on repeat.
  683. * Hal has no magic and can't poison
  684. <DM> *The enemies, confused by your shenanigans, hold their actions as reactions.
  685. <Hal> (Wait, this is the start of the next round?)
  686. <DM> (yes)
  687. <DM> (we'sa on round 2)
  688. * Kirran digs into the ice and sets the lance pointing towards the enemies as the chandelier hurtles ponderously at the enemies.
  689. <Kirran> Lance of Rokan*
  690. * Dex coats the chandlier in Eyegouger's toxin. Also tacks on some Skull Darts for fun.
  691. * DM rolls for which enemies...
  692. <DM> $2d4
  693. <Navi> DM: You rolled 2 Dice with 4 Sides. Results: 3 and 2. Total: 5.
  694. <DM> *A GerudoWarrior2 and a Wisp1!
  695. <Darte> (The chandelier has been playing too much FF XIV and changes jobs to Dark Knight as the lance is equipped)
  696. <DM> actually, that wouldn't be right
  697. <DM> the gerudos are grouped together
  698. <DM> the wisps are grouped together
  699. <DM> $1d2
  700. <Navi> DM: You flipped 1 coin. Result: Tails.
  701. <DM> *Kay, you guys go flying towards the Wisps!
  702. <Kirran> As it should be.
  703. <DM> *Kirran, lance roll please!
  704. <Kirran> $25d10
  705. <Navi> Kirran: You rolled 25 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 5, 8, 10, 10, 5, 2, 3, 9, 3, 6, 3, 7, 10, 6, 3, 2, 3, 10, 5, 5, 1, 10, 6, 10 and 8. Total: 150. Successes: 23.
  706. <Kirran> $43d10
  707. <Navi> Kirran: You rolled 43 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 3, 9, 6, 10, 4, 2, 5, 1, 1, 5, 6, 3, 7, 4, 6, 2, 7, 2, 2, 3, 5, 4, 5, 5, 9, 10, 5, 9, 5, 5, 6, 8, 4, 1, 7, 7, 3, 2, 8, 3, 6, 3 and 6. Total: 214. Successes: 27.
  708. <Kirran> $10d10
  709. <Navi> Kirran: You rolled 10 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 2, 6, 1, 4, 3, 2, 6, 5, 7 and 9. Total: 45. Successes: 5.
  710. <Kirran> (Forgot the +10)
  711. <DM> *okay, it was already moving @ 20 successes, then 26 more from hookshot land, then 32.......
  712. <DM> .................
  713. * Hal holds his shield up, getting ready to back off
  714. <DM> *You guys crash into the Wisps so hard, they can't even react. They just spontaneously explode and shatter to dust on impact.
  715. <DM> *However......
  716. <DM> *The crash affects both you guys too. Roll Courage vs....... what's that, 78 successes!
  717. <Hal> (This is bad)
  718. <Kirran> Do I still have a free action?
  719. <DM> yes. Dex does not.
  720. <DM> *Dex, the chandelier is poorly designed and it's got a spike that's gonna skewer you if you don't dodge it.
  721. <Kirran> Alrighty. I grab Dex and use the Cane of Lalakar to teleport the heck off this thing before it lands.
  722. <DM> GOD
  723. <DM> DANGIT
  724. <DM> GOD FRIGIN' DANGIT
  725. <DM> NO
  726. <Kirran> Boop
  727. <DM> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  728. <DM> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  729. <Darte> You all with the lance right now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btgElRhD138&t=4m10s
  730. <Kefka> YouTube: Hildibrand -SPOILER WARNING- hilarious cutscene ^_^ - Views: 9,536 - Length: 6:19 - Uploaded: 2012-08-26 - User: Cellsplitter - Likes: 40 - Dislikes: 2
  731. <Dex> Hive five chandlier buddy!
  732. * Hal is struck by awe
  733. <DM> *The two of you land right in front of the two Gerudos.
  734. * Dex holds up a hand for high fives.
  735. <DM> [Gerudo]: IT'S THE LIZARD! KILL HIM!
  736. <Dex> WOOPS
  737. <Dex> Did you not see what we just did?
  738. <DM> *Gerudo1 proceeds to greet that high five with a sword slash to the face.
  739. <DM> *Gerudo Warrior uses both her swords and does a Cross Slash! Deals ful damage and removes 4 Magic on-hit
  740. * Hal consumes a Green Potion
  741. <DM> ......
  742. <Dex> FOCUSED DODGE
  743. <Hal> 17h 8m | Halved Rolls
  744. <DM> *Gerudo2 aims a slash at Kirran as she loses focus on Dex.
  745. <DM> (same attack)
  746. <DM> $40d10
  747. <Navi> DM: You rolled 40 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 9, 1, 7, 8, 5, 5, 3, 10, 10, 10, 3, 1, 7, 9, 3, 8, 6, 6, 3, 9, 2, 5, 5, 2, 9, 7, 4, 4, 1, 10, 3, 10, 1, 9, 8, 6, 4, 10, 5 and 4. Total: 232. Successes: 31.
  748. <DM> (roll courage-desu)
  749. <Kirran> $33d10
  750. <Navi> Kirran: You rolled 33 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 9, 7, 5, 5, 6, 8, 3, 2, 3, 5, 10, 5, 10, 4, 6, 9, 10, 10, 2, 1, 10, 4, 10, 10, 3, 8, 5, 7, 7, 10, 10, 6 and 6. Total: 216. Successes: 34.
  751. <DM> holy what
  752. <Kirran> Noooppeee.
  753. <DM> *Gerudo Warrior uses Quick Speed to reroll!
  754. <Kirran> YOu aren't ruining this perfect moment.
  755. <DM> $40d10
  756. <Navi> DM: You rolled 40 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 4, 10, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4, 7, 2, 8, 7, 6, 4, 5, 5, 3, 7, 6, 2, 1, 6, 2, 3, 3, 7, 9, 10, 6, 9, 5, 2, 2, 5, 3, 3, 7, 5, 7, 4 and 7. Total: 194. Successes: 23.
  757. <DM> *Yeah nope.avi
  758. <Dex> What kind of warrior are you?
  759. <DM> *Apparently, Kirran is still teleporting and phases directly through the attack. LIKE A NINJA!
  760. <Dex> Honestly this is embarrassing.
  761. <DM> [Gerudo]: WHAT IS THIS MADNESS? LORD AGAHNIM DIDN'T TELL US WE'D BE FIGHTING GODS!
  762. * Hal then wonders what the heck is even going on.
  763. <Dex> GIVE UP
  764. <DM> (annnd Hal, got anything you can do this round?
  765. <Kirran> There just needs to be fireworks from the chandelier and wisps exploding.
  766. <Dex> RIGHT NOW SERIOUsLY
  767. <Dex> DO NOT MAKE ME TAKE MY NEXT TURN
  768. <DM> (wot about you Darte?
  769. <DM> (oh wait Darte did stuffs, nvm
  770. <Hal> (Can't do anything offensive, gimped rolls)
  771. <DM> *Just then, fireworks go off from the corpses of the wisps.
  772. * DM kicks round 3 into gear!
  773. <DM> *Round 3 starts with a bang!
  774. <Hal> Its time for you to pay.
  775. * Kirran retrieves his lance.
  776. <Dex> Ninja Vanish!
  777. * Dex uses camouflage again.
  778. <Dex> $21d10
  779. <Navi> Dex: You rolled 21 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 5, 10, 2, 8, 5, 7, 1, 1, 2, 3, 2, 8, 5, 4, 10, 1, 3, 10, 7, 1 and 4. Total: 99. Successes: 13.
  780. <DM> *You camou successfully.
  781. <DM> *Both Gerudos are on guard.
  782. <DM> [Gerudo]: This... this is madness!
  783. * Darte has no idea precisely what occurred, but he is content with lancing an Icicle Blade instead of directly confronting his foes.
  784. * Hal fires a Wind Torrent at Gerudo2
  785. <Darte> COSTS: 4 Magic
  786. <Darte> DESCRIPTION: Hurl a large blade of ice at a target with great accuracy.
  787. <Darte> Roll your Wisdom +5 dice vs. targets' Courage dice
  788. <Darte> Damage: +4
  789. <Darte> $28d10
  790. <Navi> Darte: You rolled 28 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 9, 3, 8, 1, 6, 5, 6, 2, 8, 3, 6, 8, 4, 4, 2, 10, 5, 3, 2, 7, 4, 9, 2, 8, 9, 2, 10 and 8. Total: 154. Successes: 18.
  791. <DM> *Annnd that's two attacks at once, ROLL 'EM!
  792. <Hal> $30d10
  793. <Navi> Hal: You rolled 30 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 9, 1, 2, 7, 3, 10, 8, 8, 4, 4, 10, 1, 6, 6, 8, 9, 10, 10, 9, 4, 3, 10, 1, 7, 9, 2, 4, 8, 4 and 4. Total: 181. Successes: 22.
  794. <Darte> 9h 1m | Final Destination
  795. * Hal catches the Icicle Blade in the wind and sends it hurling into Gerudo2, WITH the wind
  796. <DM> *GerudoWarrior1 intercepts the Icicle Blade while GerudoWarrior 2 intercepts the Wind Torrent via Kaiten!
  797. <DM> *Gerudo Warrior uses both her swords, infuses them with magic, and spins rapidly, deflecting the attack back at a random target!
  798. * Darte screams like a little babby goil.
  799. <DM> $2d4
  800. <Navi> DM: You rolled 2 Dice with 4 Sides. Results: 3 and 1. Total: 4.
  801. * DM axes one of those.
  802. <Hal> ($2d5)
  803. <Hal> (It's ally Gerudo)
  804. <Hal> (It didn't say enemies)
  805. <DM> (woops, bad wording on mah part, lulz)
  806. <DM> (fixin' that next time)
  807. <Hal> 17h 5m | +2 Armor | Oh dear god
  808. <DM> (well it can't deflect at itself)
  809. <DM> (so 4 it tis)
  810. <DM> *One of them ends up accidentally deflecting at the other.
  811. <DM> *Darte, the Wind Torrent goes at you, roll Wisdom to defend against 22 successes!
  812. <DM> *GerudoWarrior2, roll Wisdom vs. 18 successes!
  813. <DM> $23d10
  814. <Navi> DM: You rolled 23 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 5, 7, 9, 7, 6, 6, 5, 10, 9, 4, 1, 5, 10, 9, 3, 9, 8, 2, 2, 1, 2, 2 and 7. Total: 129. Successes: 17.
  815. <Darte> $24d10
  816. <Navi> Darte: You rolled 24 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 10, 4, 1, 8, 7, 5, 3, 8, 9, 10, 7, 5, 5, 2, 10, 5, 1, 4, 5, 5, 3, 3, 8 and 1. Total: 129. Successes: 18.
  817. <DM> *GerudoWarrior2 is HIT! 1 + 4 - 3 = 2 damage
  818. <DM> [Gerudo2]: What are you DOING?!
  819. <DM> (what's the wind torrent do again?
  820. <Hal> Roll your Wisdom +10 dice vs. targets' Wisdom dice
  821. <Hal> Damage: Halved
  822. <Hal> EFFECT: If it hits, the target is thrown off balance and gets Delayed.
  823. <Hal> Target’s next attack is delayed by 2 Turns, which then removes Delayed.
  824. <DM> *Darte, you end up getting flung against a wall, the illusion of your sound getting disrupted and broken up.
  825. <DM> *SOMEONE MESSED UP YOUR MUSIC
  826. <DM> [Gerudo1]: There, there's one that finally got hit, let's focus the fish down!
  827. <Kirran> (So does deflect always happen?
  828. <Kirran> )
  829. <DM> (nah, they had to use their magic for it)
  830. <DM> Gerudo1: 20h | +3 dice on all rolls
  831. <DM> Gerudo2: 18h | +3 dice on all rolls
  832. <DM> (if the wisps were there, they'd just refresh the magic back)
  833. <DM> (thaknfully, you guys fixed that issue)
  834. * Kirran fires a bomb arrow at Gerudo1
  835. <Darte> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W545DP8CmWQ
  836. <Kefka> YouTube: [Vinesauce] Vinny - Donkey Kong Country Corruptions - Views: 1,015,420 - Length: 5:35 - Uploaded: 2013-01-31 - User: vinesauce - Likes: 13,463 - Dislikes: 189
  837. * Hal then Covers Darte
  838. <Kirran> $39d10 (Does 8 damage flat if it hits)
  839. <Navi> Kirran: You rolled 39 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 1, 9, 3, 1, 10, 4, 8, 10, 7, 8, 8, 4, 3, 10, 2, 1, 9, 8, 6, 4, 9, 5, 8, 10, 9, 2, 5, 1, 5, 2, 2, 5, 1, 4, 5, 1, 7, 2 and 1. Total: 200. Successes: 25.
  840. <DM> $18d10
  841. <Navi> DM: You rolled 18 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 4, 10, 8, 7, 2, 8, 8, 3, 6, 5, 8, 10, 4, 3, 8, 3, 1 and 10. Total: 108. Successes: 14.
  842. <Darte> 8h 1m | Dropped the Beat
  843. <DM> *8 - 3 = 5 damage
  844. <DM> *She's hit!
  845. <DM> 15h | +3 dice on all rolls
  846. <Hal> (Since Hal hit with his spell...)
  847. <DM> [Gerudo]: Gah, we need reinforcements again them!
  848. <Hal> 17h 5m | +4 Armor
  849. <Hal> (Gerudoes?)
  850. <DM> *Both the Gerudos focus their attention..... on Darte!
  851. * Darte weeps internally
  852. <DM> *BUT FURRY GUY IS IN THE WAY
  853. <Hal> *AGAIN*
  854. <DM> *DOUBLE CROSS SLASH NO JUTSU!
  855. <DM> $43d10 for first cross slash
  856. <Navi> DM: You rolled 43 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 7, 1, 4, 9, 2, 8, 9, 5, 3, 9, 2, 5, 9, 6, 5, 7, 3, 7, 4, 10, 9, 10, 5, 6, 9, 9, 8, 6, 2, 8, 5, 9, 9, 9, 7, 1, 6, 6, 5, 9, 5, 7 and 3. Total: 268. Successes: 35.
  857. <Hal> $240d10
  858. <Navi> Hal: You rolled 240 Dice with 10 Sides. Total: 1,270. Successes: 152.
  859. <Hal> Derp
  860. * Hal rerolls that
  861. <DM> $40d10 for the second one
  862. <Navi> DM: You rolled 40 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 3, 2, 9, 1, 8, 5, 3, 10, 2, 4, 8, 4, 6, 9, 8, 5, 1, 10, 4, 1, 2, 9, 4, 6, 10, 8, 4, 6, 7, 4, 5, 9, 6, 3, 10, 4, 8, 2, 3 and 10. Total: 223. Successes: 27.
  863. <Hal> $24d10
  864. <Navi> Hal: You rolled 24 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 5, 10, 4, 1, 8, 1, 5, 9, 10, 9, 10, 2, 7, 3, 8, 6, 1, 1, 2, 7, 5, 7, 6 and 10. Total: 137. Successes: 20.
  865. <DM> *Yeah, given Hal's armor, I don't think that matters. Okay, both the Gerudos' attacks literally just bounce off your armor, Hal.
  866. <DM> *Annnd that's round 3, round 4 a go-go!
  867. <DM> [Gerudo]: That's it! We surrender!
  868. <Kirran> About time. You don't even want to know what my lizard friend here was planning for you.
  869. <DM> *They both hold their swords into the air.
  870. * Hal puts his shield away.
  871. <Dex> I was going to slit their throats and take their eyes.
  872. * Kirran keeps a bomb arrow ready.
  873. <DM> *Suddenly, a darkness seems to pierce both of their souls and captures their minds.
  874. * Darte brightens a little. "Puppet show!"
  875. <DM> *Against their will, they bring their swords back down to a fighting stance, their eyes glowing a bright purple as darkness consumes their bodies.
  876. <DM> *So, do you folks keep fighting, or perhaps you'd like to shine a light?
  877. <Dex> THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE
  878. <Dex> IM GUNNA LET IT SHINE
  879. * Darte struggles to bring back 'Light Up the Night'
  880. <DM> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DXl4lrqdeI
  881. <Kefka> YouTube: Light the Fire Up in the Night -Dual Mix- - Views: 1,198,569 - Length: 5:08 - Uploaded: 2014-07-25 - User: theultimateonejpsx - Likes: 7,833 - Dislikes: 74
  882. <DM> *Darte gets his music back in the groove.
  883. <DM> *Dex, yours is a light that will pierce the darkness! The magic candle, its light so bright, purges the darkness from their systems, and frees them of the dark control!
  884. * Darte 's glasses suddenly seem a little more... well, WHO DO YOU THINK HE IS?
  885. * Hal stands by
  886. <DM> *The two Gerudo sheath their swords and bow to you.
  887. <Dex> AWWW YEAH WHO DA MAN?
  888. <Dex> LET ME HEAR YOU SAY IT
  889. <DM> [Gerudo]: Clearly, you are the superior warriors...... even the little lizard.
  890. <Kirran> You're damn right.
  891. <DM> [Gerudo]: Agahnim, he..... he brainwashed us. All of us. We thought we could stop it after Nabooru went through something similar, but Agahnim's powers are too powerful.
  892. <Dex> Why is everyone so down on an enterprising lizalfos just trying to make his way in the world?
  893. <Dex> I steal boulders and assist in dropping chandliers on things.
  894. <Hal> Hmmm
  895. <Hal> I recall reading about a tale involving Link and Nabooru
  896. <Dex> Chandliers falling at an appreciable fraction of the speed of light even.
  897. <DM> [Gerudo]: Please, would you help us liberate the rest of the Gerudo from his control? Normally, we would accept an honorable fight to the death, but our whole race is in jeopardy. I request that you do not slaughter our entire race.
  898. <Kirran> Did you even ask Nabooru about all this?
  899. <Hal> Apparently he encountered Nabooru in a giant suit of armor
  900. <DM> [Gerudo]: I.. we tried to reach Nabooru, but... Agahnim got in our way.
  901. <DM> (Kirran, warning, session is over in a bit........ AND YOU HAVEN'T USED THAT COIN YET
  902. <Hal> This worries us.
  903. <Dex> I SMELL OPPERTUNITY!
  904. <Dex> And it worries YOU. I'm fine with this.
  905. <Kirran> (But I did. I rolled a 1)
  906. <Kirran> something very unfortunate and inconvenient happens. You find yourself unable to flip the coin, as the coin finds a way to go missing and cause problems.
  907. <Kirran> And it did. I warped into the wisps.
  908. <DM> AHHHHHHHH SO YOU DID ROLL IT THEN
  909. <Hal> All the ways in which Agahnim could enhance these Gerudoes.
  910. <DM> Oh, but Mr. Kirran... the coin didn't show up then.
  911. <Hal> Lets assume the coin landed in the Wisp's eye
  912. <DM> Let's just say..... the coin is just waiting to cause problems. Somewhere.....
  913. <Kirran> (more like it landed in the DM's pocket.
  914. <DM> [Gerudo]: We did find out something though. Somehow, a series of inscriptions that might weaken Agahnim. The second inscription... it's a tall triangle.
  915. <DM> [Gerudo]: I don't know if that means anything to you...
  916. <Dex> You know what means a lot to us?
  917. <Dex> Payment.
  918. <Dex> I run a M E R C E N A R Y company after all.
  919. <Kirran> A right facing arrow and a triangle?
  920. * Darte ponders for a bit. "Ooooh. I've heard of this before. Uhhhm. Something Hallowly. Deadly. Uhhh."
  921. <DM> [Gerudo]: We... don't have any money... on us. But... we do know this base. We could lead you right to it.
  922. <Kirran> Dark side of the Moon?
  923. <Hal> Even with our warriorship, it will not be wise to underestimate the might the brainwashed Gerudoes have to offer.
  924. <Dex> We get to keep anything we find on the robed dorks body PLUS the big armor.
  925. <DM> *One of the Gerudo goes to a locked door in the room and gets it open somehow.
  926. <Dex> After all you know what they say.
  927. <DM> *Ahead is a hall of darkness.
  928. <DM> [Gerudo]: Shall we lead the way or follow?
  929. <Dex> There ain't no rest for the wicked. Rupees don't grown on trees. I've got minions to pay and minions to feed, ain't nothing in this world for free.
  930. * Hal mends the wounds Gerudo2 has had with a small Fairy Beam
  931. <DM> [Gerudo2]: Thank you.
  932. * DM fully heals Dex for that song snippet.
  933. <Hal> *Heal beam
  934. <Hal> 18h 4m
  935. * Darte dances 'cuz he wants to; he can leave his beats behind, echoing through the room.
  936. <Hal> Much appreciated
  937. * Hal holds out a candle.
  938. <DM> *Hal, with your candle and Dex's candle now, it appears to be having some weird effect on the two Gerudo.
  939. <DM> [Gerudo]: Ah, the beautiful light...
  940. * Hal looks back
  941. <DM> *They both drop their swords.
  942. <DM> [Gerudo]: I could stand here forever...
  943. <Kirran> wat
  944. <Hal> Same here.
  945. <DM> *They both literally just bask in the light. Their stern expressions turn passive, and they actually smile. Gerudo can smile?!
  946. <DM> *Dex, with them just standing there, they're kinda not paying you anymore.
  947. <DM> *Don't dat just infuriate ye, big boss Dex?
  948. * Kirran tries casting purify, because this is weird and making him remember his Shiekah trials.
  949. * Dex picks up their swords.
  950. <DM> *The great light of Purify causes their spirits to begin an ascension process.
  951. <Kirran> wut
  952. <DM> [Gerudo]: Finally, we're at peace. After all the evils of Agahnim, our spirits can ascend onwards.
  953. <Kirran> What is the this Shamalan nonsense. Get back here!
  954. <DM> *Dex bud, dey Groodoos no gud no more. Oi say ye gut 'em wit' dem swordies, test 'em out, ye see!
  955. <Hal> Sooo... this is happening.
  956. <Dex> Naw, I'll just loot the big ass armor thing.
  957. <Dex> That'll look mighty fine on the mantle.
  958. <DM> (the armor thing isn't in the room, it's closer to the end of this dungeon)
  959. <Kirran> Natural Ordering this back to some semblance of sanity, thank you very much.
  960. <DM> *Annnd both the Gerudos' spirits ascend.
  961. <DM> *Even their swords ascen- okay I'm kidding.
  962. * Darte cleans his glasses. Weren't they already clean? "What a waste."
  963. <Hal> And they enter the afterlife.
  964. <DM> *Keep the bloody swords.
  965. <DM> *Okee dokey, they opened the doorway to the next room fer ye.
  966. <Kirran> Well, that was a thing.
  967. <DM> *I totally didn't do that just to reduce the number of NPCs I had to take care of.
  968. <DM> *Nope, no idea what yer talkin' about.
  969. * Kirran senses the hand of DM moving around the room surreptitiously
  970. <Dex> Free swords.
  971. <DM> oi, tell yer senses ta shoo
  972. * Hal takes out his Ocarina and plays a random song, which allows him and his allies to recover magic over time.
  973. * DM adds the four free swords........ to Dex's eye necklace.
  974. <DM> *Alrighty, with Dex now having swords on his necklace and everyone's magic back to full (and let's assume Hal did a regen trick to heal everyone), everyone's back at full health and magic.
  975. <Kirran> Considering the nature of what else is on that necklace, I don't think that's going to phase him much.
  976. <DM> *Onwards to the next room, with... oh wait, A LOADING SCREEN!
  977. <DM> -=QUEST PAUSE=-
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