IsekaiSS chapter 1

>The office is large, with a high ceiling and lavishly furnished
>through the large windows on the left you can see the sun reaching its zenith over a town, definitely somewhere in Germany, judging by the flags of the Third Reich
> on the wall behind the desk you are sitting at hang two flags, similar to those flown all over Germany, though in place of the swastika is a strange symbol you have never seen before
>no one is sitting on the other side of the desk, leaving you plenty of time to wonder where the fuck you are and how you got here
>just as you are about to descend into full scale panic a door behind you opens
>rushing through the door, with a stack of papers in his arms is no less than Adolf Hitler!
What did I do that’s worthy of getting sent to Hitler
>your military experience was limited to taking pot-shots at Russians on the eastern front
>the reserve life was shit
>which brings back the question of why you are here and not shooting at trees or something in Russia
>Hitler takes a seat behind the desk
“Hello, err...”
>he looks at one of his papers
“Anon! how are you feeling?
“I-I’m fine, mein furher, I’m just curious as to why I’m here”
>he gets a serious look on his face
“Ah yes, well there’s no way I can sugar-coat this, you are Dead
>it takes you a moment to realise exactly what he just said
“What!? If I’m dead then does that mean that you’re…?”
“No I’m not actually Hitler, he’s still alive *for now* I’m just supposed to take the form of whatever will make you feel more comfortable going into the afterlife”
>time for the question everyone wants to know
“How did I die?”
>Hitler looks down at his papers again
“Your friend Hans, the one who likes taking enemy weapons, was messing around with his most recent acquisition, a Russian anti-tank rifle, and he failed to check that the weapon was empty and ND’d directly into your face”
>well shit
“If it’s any consolation the sergeant made him clean the truck you were standing next to”
>it’s not really
“What are my options now? I’ve blown up at least a few civilians so it can’t be good”
“That’s where your situation improves actually, seeing as you were a soldier, you get to go down a much better path than the boring old heaven-and-hell track. You are instead judged by the Kube”
>he gestures to the strange symbol on the flags behind him
“The cube?”
“No, the Kube”
“That’s what I said”
“You said cube, I said Kube”
“I’m definitely saying it right”
>Hitler slams his fist on the desk and shoves another piece of paper in your face
>he waves it just a little too fast for you to read.
“I’M LOOKING AT THE SCRIPT AND YOU’RE SAYING IT WRONG”
>whatareyousaying.grainyphoto
>obviously sick of discussing the pronunciation of Kube, a battle that he has clearly fought many times, Hitler continues
“Anyway, soldiers get the option of the plains, which is basically a big grassy field with nothing in particular to do or reincarnation to a warring world to continue fighting”
“Reincarnation certainly sounds better”
“okay… if you choose reincarnation you will be put into the new world in your current body, or your body before it was blown to bits or impaled or whatever else killed you without having to put up with that “growing up” nonsense. Anyone going across will bring three things from their past life with them and you will be able to understand the languages of the new world”
>Hitler states this in a monotone like if he’s said the line a million times
>he probably has
>but the three things... maybe the wording counts for something
“I choose the reincarnation path”
>Hitler checks a box on his paper
“Good, good, now your three things”
“I need my team, Hans and Henrik
“I like the way you think, good sir”
>he writes it down on his paper
>Two surprised shouts tell of the arrival of your squad mates
“where the fu- ANON” a voice says, clearly terrified
>that would be Hans
“b-but I killed you and the sarge made me wash you off the truck”
“I’m going to hell and I’m taking you with me, cunt”
>Hans looks like he just shat himself
>you brief them on the situation and the importance of wording your requests
“does this mean we’re dead too?
>Hitler pipes up
“Not until I think up a non-suspicious way to kill you off”
>Hans wanders off mumbling
>now for the second request
“Next thing is an ammo crate”
>The crate appears
“Lastly, we need a flag”
>the Nazi battle flag appears on top of Henrik
- “what did I do?”
“Alright anon, you’re ready to go, I just need to sort out these two – Hans take a seat”
>You get out of you seat and let Hans sit down
“Let’s see… Hans, died of… Dysentery!”
“is that even possible!?”
“It is now”
>Hans grumbles a bit before getting into his ‘wishes’
“I need my gun stash”
>a clatter of weapons reveal two MP40s, a k98, a luger, two Mauser C96’s, a myosin nagant, a ppsh, a ptrd and a flamethrower with magazines, clips and a fuel tank
- “how did you get away with keeping all these guns?” asks Henrik, wondering if he should report Hans if he gets back
“The sarge thinks I’m some sort of spy for the gunsmiths back in Germany, so he let me keep the Russian guns to “study” them”
“Which is how you ended up killing me”
“Heh heh yeah…”
>Hans gets a bullet mould and a gun cleaning kit with his remaining wishes
> It is revealed that Henrik died by getting run over by a BT-7 while on patrol
“it could be worse I guess” he states blankly
>Henrik receives a MG42, a fucking Tiger that he claims he loaded before it got killed on the way to Russia and a stack of SS uniforms
>exactly how he had the uniforms was a mystery that he was not willing to reveal to you. Meanwhile Hitler had finished his paperwork.
“Alright, everything is in order, I’ll give you a few minutes to organise all of your gear then I’ll send you over”
>the guns are equipped and stowed, the 7 foot long PTRD is disassembled you take a MP40 and the Luger, Hans takes the other MP40 and a Mauser and Henrik loads the k98 and the remaining Mauser. The uniforms are put on and the flag is hoisted on the tank
“all’s good with the weapons” says hans
“the tiger is ready to go” Henrik says, poking his head out of the commander’s hatch
“We are ready to go, sir” you say to Hitler
>Hitler looks up from his ever-increasing pile of papers
“Hmm? … Oh, yes, commencing transport in three… two… one
>he snaps his fingers
>suddenly the office is no longer there, replaced with a hillside field bordered by woods. You have appeared on a dirt road between the two. Hans takes up position in the driver’s seat and Henrik in the loaders. You get into the commander’s position and put the radio set on. Hans starts the engine
“Alright men, Panzer Vor!”
>the tiger begins rolling down the dirt road, towards a new beginning for you and your friends, maybe even-
>the machine comes to a halt, falling silent
>It broke down
>fucking Tigers