chrys stevenson

From: Chrys Stevenson <#########@yahoo.com.au>
Date: 18 December 2011 9:57:55 PM AEST
To: #########
Subject: Re: Regarding your recent post on ######## and the constant in fighting among atheists.
Reply-To: Chrys Stevenson <#########@yahoo.com.au>

########, it seems there's been some misunderstanding.  My cousin Doug has just told me he was the 'someone' who said you should write to me for my side of the story.  In that case, I'm happy to give you some more information.

At some point ######## moved from being a somewhat loveable grumpy character who fought serious issues with reason and evidence, to being an online bully and troll.

He moved beyond disagreeing with someone and became obsessive. He hurled foul, sexist and intimidating abuse, obsessively, over a period of months, at a woman called Ophelia Benson because she disagreed with him.  He did the same to Professor PZ Myers and some others. ######## also threatened to 'stalk' Professor Myers and his followers at the forthcoming Global Atheist Convention and to put something into Myers' pocket without him knowing about it.   That is just plain creepy.

Whether or not ######## meant what he said, this is the kind of threat commonly made by psychopaths who DO intend to stalk and harm their victims. ######## has even admitted publicly that he knew he was on dangerous ground, but decided to go there anyway.   The fact that ######## said the object he would put into Professor Myers' pocket would be harmless does not make it any better.  Would YOU take the word of someone who had abused you for months, and then said they were going to stalk you and touch you without your permission? How do you think Mrs Myers feels about her husband being threatened this way? How does she know that this strange internet person doesn't intend to put something harmful in her husband's pocket?  ######## doesn't even consider the effect this might have on his victims' families.

When I found out about what ######## was doing I was horrified. Because I had been the subject of internet bullying myself (NOT from ########) I wrote a blog post in support of Ms Benson and Professor Myers.

######## does not seem to understand that this was my one and only motivation. You mentioned to Doug that I've been kind to you in the past. That was what I was doing to them.  They were being bullied and I felt I had to stand up and say, "This is wrong."

########'s behaviour was unacceptable. These people were no threat to him. I'm not saying he shouldn't have disagreed with them. But he didn't just disagree, he became obsessive and vicioous and made personal, crude remarks about them.  That was not necessary and it was not reasonable or rational.  Reason and rationality were the things ######## used to believe in.  I read some of his posts and realised that this was no longer about those things - it was a personal vendetta being waged for no good reasn.

I believe that when this kind of thing happens, you have to speak out in defence of what is right - regardless of the personal cost.

And there has been a personal cost.  ######## has tried to suggest that I had romantic feelings towards him.  Nothing could be further from the truth! I've never had a romantic thought about ######## in my life!  To start with, he's much younger than me.  Secondly, I've pretty much had it with romance and think it's a bit overrated.  I never, ever had any romantic feelings about him.

######## even suggested that I did a deal with Professor Myers to support him in return for putting my blog on his Freethought Blogs website. Not only hasn't any offer been made, but I wouldn't be interested if it was!  It's just a silly suggestion. Something ######## made up.  The old ######## wouldn't have made up stuff like that.  But now he does.  Something is very wrong.

You will see in my blog comments that every false claim ######## has made against me, I've able to refute calmly and reasonably.

Last night ######## made his cruellest move.  He said on Facebook that I had frequently asked people to go easy on my cousin, Doug, because 'he was the slow one in the family'.  Doug  read this.  ########, you know what it's like not to be supported by your family.  Doug is in much the same position.  How would you feel if you had one relative who really loved and supported you and then you read that they had been saying cruel things about you behind your back on the internet?  You'd be devastated, right?  What if it turned out that the person who told you this had just made it up? What kind of person does that? What kind of person would hurt you to score a point against someone you love?

Luckily, Doug and I have a very close relationship and he knows me well enough to know this had to be a lie.  What ######## did was take something I had said and misrepresented it to look ugly.  What I have said to people, not frequently, but on a few occasions, is that they should not criticize Doug's spelling and grammar because he is severely dyslexic and such comments could hurt him.  What I was doing was protecting my cousin from hurtful remarks. That is a long way from ########'s lie that I was telling people Doug was 'slow'.

########, you and I have both been friends with ######## in the past. But consider, this is someone who will intentionally lie and hurt someone else - an innocent bystander - in order to get at me.  That is truly despicable and shows just how low he will stoop.

I have much better things to do than to fight with ########.  But I will always stand up against bullies who call people names, try to intimidate them into keeping silent,and  threaten to stalk and assault them (and yes, unwanted touching IS assault).

I hate these in-fights too and I am only responding when ######## makes false accusations about me.

########, I know ######## has been very kind and supportive of you and I can understand that you might wonder why I seem to have turned on him.  Generally, I will defend my friends to the hilt.  But ########, I simply can't defend what ######## has done in recent months.  He has been cruel, vindictive, obsessive and just plain creepy.  He treats Professor Myers and Ophelia Benson like they're scum, but they are real people with feelings and family - just like you and me.

I did ask a friend who is a professional psychologist to give me a professional opinion on whether ######## was a potential threat.  If he had said, "No, I think he's just a big wind-bag" perhaps I wouldn't have spoken out so harshly. But my psychologist friend said he was very, very worried about ######## and that there were definite markers of mental health issues in his writing. Of course, you can't make a diagnosis from the internet and he didn't do that. But a psychologist can compare what ######## writes with what OTHER people who HAVE turned out to be dangerous write.  ######## sounds like he may be dangerous to a very respected psychiatrist. He also sounds very much like another stalker that Professor Myers had who turned out to be mentally disturbed with substance abuse problems. I'm NOT saying ######## is mentally ill or addicted to alcohol or drugs.  What I am saying is that the obsession, the abuse, the threats make him sound like someone like that, and that's why he's scaring people.

I don't know what is wrong with ########.  He seems to be very jealous of my very small level of writing success.  The ridiculous thing is, he could have been as successful or more successful than me if he had just stuck to writing good arguments instead of going off on a months' long series of abusive rants.  Besides which, I'm not particularly successful and I was always happy to use whatever success I had to help ######## establish himself as a writer.   I did everything I could to help and encourage him. But, HE ruined his own chances by going on this ridiculous crusade against Ophelia Benson and PZ Myers.  No-one will ever publish his work now, and that's all his own doing - not mine.

So, ########, the short answer to your question is that I didn't write about ######## for revenge. I didn't write about him because I had any romantic ideas about him. I didn't write about him so that PZ Myers would put my blog on his network.  I didn't write about ######## for any reason other than he had been cruel, unkind, sexist and threatening and my personal moral code says that you can't let that kind of behaviour pass without comment - even when that behaviour comes from someone you once considered a friend.


I hope this email explains my position clear.  If you have any more questions I'd be happy to answer them and I am sorry I misunderstood your message.  I just didn't know who this 'someone' might have been.

Chrys