A Tad Tipsy

Since this was just a last-minute fic, it's free for patrons! Thanks so much you guys! Remember I'm switching to the monthly campaign in a few days!

For a friend's birthday, so lots of inside jokes between she and I.

Domestic, normal life-AU, but Blake's still a Faunus.

Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY.

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							A Tad Tipsy

Blake could count on one hand how many times she'd seen her girlfriend drunk within the past two years since they'd both become legal; with the amount of parties Yang threw that involved alcohol, it was bound to happen sooner or later.

She'd seen Weiss get a tad tipsy, where she'd go ranting and raving about her family business and Dust, talking loudly and with the same sophistication as usual, albeit significantly more slurred, and perhaps a bit uncensored.

But never before had she seen Weiss /this/ drunk.

It was so bad, Blake had to take her home early, before she herself could drink enough where she'd be considered unable to drive. Usually Weiss was the designated driver, but tonight, that had been Blake's job.

The car ride home had been more than a little stressful, what with Weiss constantly unbuckling her seatbelt and sticking her face out the window to feel the breeze on her heated face. When Blake had managed to roll up the window completely and lock it with the button on her side of the car, Weiss had made several attempts to open the door while the car was moving.

But after ten minutes of talking to her girlfriend to keep her mind off escape, Blake had managed to get them home and park in the driveway. She turned off the car with a withering sigh; it was only midnight on a Saturday, and yet she was already thoroughly exhausted thanks to her drunken girlfriend.

But Weiss had been rather stressed lately, so she probably deserved this much.

As she unbuckled herself, Blake glanced to the side and noticed she hadn't had anything to worry about with Weiss opening the door as they'd been driving; she couldn't even do that right now.

With a whine, the white-haired girl sniffled impishly.

"Blaaake! I'm trapped!"

Blake had to admit, this was a side of Weiss she'd never seen before, and it was fairly amusing. With this level of alcohol content in her veins, she was more or less reduced to a ten-year-old child in a twenty-three-year-old's body. But that could make for some very interesting moments, she was certain.

"Calm down," Blake chuckled. "I'll free you. Just give me a minute."

She pushed her door open and stepped out into the cool night, stretching briefly before closing the door and heading around to Weiss' side of the car.

Blake pulled on the handle to open it and very nearly shrieked as Weiss all but tumbled out; had it not been for Blake's speedy reflexes and reaction, the girl might've hit her head on the concrete. Blake kept a tight embrace on her girlfriend as she dragged Weiss to her feet.

"Whoa, there. Can you even walk? Want me to carry you inside?"

Weiss sniffed indigently and pouted, shaking her head exaggeratedly.

"No. I'm a grown woman, thank you very much! I can -hic- walk on my own!" She sounded offended, and had Blake been in a more sour mood, she would've rolled her eyes.

But now that she had Weiss safely home, there was little that could endanger either of them, so Blake was willing to crack a smile.

"Alright. Just hold onto me, please."

"Hmph." Weiss only agreed begrudgingly when she took a step forward and realized she couldn't stand for the life of her.

Blake kicked the car door closed and locked it with the keys, keeping one arm around Weiss all the while. They'd made it home in one piece; now the next challenge was to make it to the front door.

It sounded simple enough, but with a hundred-pound body of deadweight hanging off her side, Blake was having more than a little trouble.

Weiss had developed a case of the hiccups now, and every step was a sway and a squeak. Blake had to take necessary action to keep the girl somewhat on her feet, at the very least upright. She pulled one of Weiss' arms across her shoulders and clung onto her wrist, keeping her free hand at Weiss' hip.

And of course, Weiss kept trying to pull away, with declarations such as, "I can do it myself!" before she inevitably almost went crashing down into the grass.

After several incidents of nearly giving herself a concussion – and consequently nearly giving Blake a heart-attack – Weiss admitted defeat and allowed her sober Faunus girlfriend to lead her inside without further complaint.

Blake took it slow on the front door steps, fishing out her keys from her coat pocket.

At last, she unlocked the door and pushed her way inside, making sure Weiss was fully in as well before closing the door behind her and locking it. With a heavy sigh, Blake slumped back against the wall.

"Safe..." she mumbled.

But there was only a brief second of stillness before she felt Weiss struggling again at her side.

"Blaaake! It's dark. And I'm -hic- thirsty!"

"I think you've drank enough for a small army tonight," she muttered dryly under her breath. Then, she raised her voice for Weiss to hear. "I'll get you some water. Let me take you to the couch first."

Together, they hobbled over in the darkness, guided by Blake's Faunus vision. Weiss seemed to be behaving now that there was the promise of something she wanted coming from it.

Blake was relieved to have finally sat the girl down; at least she knew Weiss couldn't stand on her own to wander about. But the possibility she may hurt herself while Blake was in another room was still quite high. So after flicking on a table lamp to give them some light, she cautiously moved any glass knick-knacks out of Weiss' reach, being subtle about it so her girlfriend wouldn't suspect anything and accuse Blake of babying her.

"Just wait for me," Blake said, moving the last little vase onto a shelf. "I'll be back in a minute."

"Blake, wait," Weiss mumbled. "I'm hot."

With a sigh, Blake knelt down on the floor in front of her girlfriend. She began untying Weiss' boots for her, reminding her with a flick of one ear that this wouldn't work if Weiss kept kicking her.

Once she'd managed to slide both boots off her girlfriend's ankles, Blake reached up to start unbuttoning Weiss' coat for her. Weiss thrashed about as she tried to shed it in contrast to Blake's slower motions.

When at last she was freed, Weiss let out a loud sigh. Blake gathered her coat and boots, intent to put them back into the closet.

"I'll be back in a minute," she said again.

Stepping in front of Weiss, she bent down, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead. With a hiccup and a hum of content, Weiss leaned back until her shoulders hit the couch cushion, and she slumped comfortably against it.

With that, Blake left her, hoping to accomplish several tasks within the course of the next several minutes, before Weiss started calling for her again.

She first went to the closet to put their coats away, taking off her own boots and excess clothing in the process.

Next was the bedroom where she collected their respective sleepwear. Blake opted to change right then and there, enjoying the soft, cottony feeling of her pajama top and shorts against her skin.

She took Weiss' nightgown along with her to the bathroom where Blake brushed her teeth, keeping one ear turned toward the living room to ensure Weiss wasn't stumbling about. All was quiet, and Blake finished up before heading to her final destination – the kitchen.

There, she grabbed two glasses, but before she could fill them, she decided against it; she switched the glasses out for plastic cups, just to be safe.

When at last she returned to the living room, she was half-expecting to find Weiss sprawled out on the couch already asleep, but no such luck.

Her girlfriend was humming randomly to herself, her eyes trained on the ceiling as though she'd discovered a sudden fascination with it, her head lolling from side to side as the occasional hiccup made her chest jolt.

Blake announced her presence quietly, as not to startle her.

"I've brought you some water."

"Oh!" Weiss clapped, perking up. "That's wonderful! Please -hic- give it here."

"Are you sure?"

"I've never been surer!"

"If you say so..."

Cautiously, Blake sat down on the couch as she handed Weiss a cup, letting her palm linger a few seconds longer than necessary. Weiss took the cup with trembling hands, sniffling once again as she brought it to her lips.

Blake watched her, putting her own cup down on the nearby coffee table and giving Weiss her full attention. She'd actually seemed to be doing rather well with draining the cup, until a hiccup interrupted her.

The remaining contents of the cup spilled out all over Weiss' chin and chest, and the cup went rolling to the floor as she coughed suddenly. Blake reached out instantly to steady her girlfriend, squeezing her hands and patting her back as she coughed.

"Easy, easy!" she soothed. She moved her hand up to Weiss' damp collarbone and rubbed little circles there to ease her discomfort until the coughing died away. When it had, Blake reached to one side to grab a tissue and patted Weiss as dry as possible with it. "Are you okay?"

Weiss sighed, but it was more akin to a whimper.

"I couldn't do it..."

"Don't say that. You did very well until that hiccup snuck up on you."

"Yes..." Weiss mumbled. "Yes, you're right, Blake. That sneaky -hic- hiccup! So -hic- sneakyyyy..."

Relieved to see Weiss had stopped coughing and that her pride hadn't been terribly damaged, Blake put the wet tissue aside on the table before picking up Weiss' nightgown.

"Why don't you change now? Then we can head to bed, okay?"

"Mm, okay."

The smallest mercy was that Weiss had actually agreed to that plan of action, but Blake wasn't about to question it.

She should've known there'd be a catch.

The second she stood to bring their cups back into the kitchen, Weiss was calling out for her again.

"Blaaake! Can you -hic- help me change?"

Another sigh.

"Yes. Give me one minute."

She dropped the cups into the sink before hurrying back to the couch, where she found Weiss with her shirt half over her head, thrashing about as she tried to wrestle it off entirely. Blake quickly rushed to help her remove it more gently, then had Weiss hold still as she slid her nightgown over her arms and head for her.

The process went without incident, and Blake pulled Weiss' nightgown down all the way to her knees. She was still wearing her pants from the evening, but Weiss managed to kick those off on her own.

The Faunus girl took the liberty upon herself to untie Weiss' ponytail for her, letting her cascade of ivory tresses fall all down her back. Blake gathered all of the laundry and took it to the hamper in the designated room before heading back to Weiss. With any luck, they could get to bed now.

Of course, the fates were still taunting her.

She found Weiss curled up on the couch, moaning to herself.

"Ow... ahh, ow..."

Blake tensed a bit and hurried to her side.

"What's the matter? Does your stomach hurt? Are you going to be sick?"

"Nnno..." Weiss huffed. "My neck hurts."

"Probably because you just hurt it trying to get dressed," Blake noted.

"It really, really hurts!"

"Alright. Let me help. Lie down."

Blake coaxed her girlfriend down onto her stomach, handing her one of the small decorative couch pillows to put under her chin. Blake sat on the edge of the couch, pushed Weiss' hair aside, and started running her hands all up and down the girl's back, kneading her shoulder blades and the back of her neck.

It wasn't the first time she'd given Weiss a massage.

But it was the first time her girlfriend was so vocal about it.

Typically, Weiss was quiet, only letting slip a few little sounds here and there.

But this...

Some of the moans and sounds she was making now nearly had Blake fainting.

The Faunus girl's ears flattened, though she continued to massage Weiss a while longer. Several times, she actually ended up laughing out loud, though once she did have to beg Weiss to keep it down lest the neighbors hear and assume someone was being murdered.

She focused her hands on Weiss' shoulders and the back of her neck, rubbing softly with the pads of her fingers.

Only when her hands started to prickle and Weiss' voice was starting to crack from overuse did Blake finally stop.

"How..." She put a hand to her mouth to hide a chuckle. "How does that feel?"

The response was another blush-worthy sound from her giddy girlfriend.

"Mmmm, Blaaake!" Weiss rolled over onto her back and reached both arms up needfully, grabbing for her. "Come -hic- heeere, please!"

Despite all the trouble she'd put Blake through this evening, there was no way the Faunus girl couldn't smile and comply.

Gently, she laid herself down on top of Weiss, bracing her weight on her elbows on either side of her girlfriend's head. Weiss wrapped her arms around Blake's neck, pulling her down.

"I feel much better now, all thanks to -hic- you!"

"I'm glad." Blake couldn't prevent the warm rumble from working its way up the back of her throat.

Weiss hummed again.

"You're so sweet, Blake," she babbled. "You're -hic- sweeter than those cookies Ruby likes so much. Sweetie sweet. You're -hic- sweeter than sugar. You're my sugarplum candy-cane."

Blake laughed again at the childish terms of endearment, definitely the most interesting thing she'd ever heard from the lips of Weiss Schnee.

"I'm glad your neck feels better."

Blake rested her head against Weiss' chest, purring a little harder as she felt the hands running aimlessly through her hair, brushing over her ears. Weiss wiggled beneath her.

"Blake!" she giggled. "Your purr is tickly!"

"Oh, really?" She deliberately made it fuller, just to elicit another laugh from her girlfriend. Weiss giggled again, the sound broken up by the occasional hiccup.

Blake pressed close to her, nuzzling into the side of her neck and kissing in random patterns over her skin. Her lips trailed up to Weiss' mouth, halting there briefly to overlap the light taste of alcohol. It was admittedly a bit sloppier than what they were used to, but neither seemed to mind at this hour of the night given the situation.

Blake continued peppering kisses all over Weiss' face - to the apples of her cheeks, over her scarred eyebrow, her temples, and then back down to the bridge of her nose.

She continued until Weiss was nearly breathless from the laughter and hiccups, and only then did Blake relent, once more resting her head on the girl's chest. She let her purr dwindle down a bit, listening closely as Weiss' giggles gradually faded. She focused on the faint thump of Weiss' heartbeat, a little quick, but steady nonetheless. It was periodically interrupted by a soft hiccup, and whenever one went through her, Weiss' entire body would jolt a little, taking Blake for a bounce on top of her.

It wasn't by any conscious decision of her own when her eyelids finally fell shut, lulled into a dormant state by the soft pulse beneath her ear.

Several minutes passed, and she listened as Weiss' breathing slowed, the arms around Blake's shoulders starting to go limp. The hiccups stopped at long last, and Weiss was finally able to relax.

It would've been an easy feat to simply fall asleep right then and there, but it tended to get a bit chilly at night without any blankets. Weiss might've been snugly warm beneath her, but Blake's back was exposed and already a bit cool.

Plus, she didn't fancy the thought of one or both of them rolling off the narrow couch in their sleep tonight.

Therefore, with great effort, Blake pushed herself up and peeled herself away from Weiss. Her girlfriend must've been happily on her way to slumber before the disturbance, because presently, Weiss stubbornly refused to unlock her arms from behind Blake's neck.

"Mm, Blaaake, don't go..."

"Weiss, come on. We should go into the bedroom."

"I don't... think I'll make it..." She couldn't even open her eyes.

Blake bent down to kiss her nose.

"Don't worry. I've got you."

Gingerly, she slipped herself free of Weiss' embrace, just long enough to climb off of her. She didn't miss the shiver that went through her girlfriend now that Weiss' stomach was exposed, but Blake was sure not to leave her like that for a second longer than was necessary.

She flicked off the lamp, leaving the house in darkness once more, save for the bathroom light down the hall and a few slivers of moonlight through the windows.

Blake bent down to kiss Weiss' forehead again, slipping one arm beneath the girl's shoulders and hooking the other under her knees. Carefully, she lifted Weiss into her arms, feeling stray hands reaching out for her. Her ears caught the sound of a petite yawn as Weiss tucked her head beneath Blake's chin, sighing as her hands curled over her stomach.

Keeping her close, Blake made her way through the house, down the hallway until she reached the bedroom. Her feet padded softly across the floorboards, creaking every other step or so until she reached the mattress. She set Weiss down on her side of the bed, still cradling the girl's head to her chest as Blake reached over her and pulled the blankets down. She then helped Weiss slip underneath, ensuring her girlfriend was a safe distance away from the edge of the bed.

Only then did Blake crawl in beside her, settling comfortably beneath the thick comforters. Turning on her side, not even a second had passed before Weiss had pressed into her, arms draping lazily over her back to tangle softly through long onyx tresses.

Blake pulled her closer, sensing Weiss wouldn't be awake for very much longer. She made sure to kiss her lips one last time, murmuring a tender "goodnight" as she emitted a gentle purr. Weiss yawned again, sighing as the eventful night caught up with her.

"Good night, Blake. Love you..."

"Love you, Weiss."

With one last kiss to her girlfriend's scarred cheek, Blake felt as Weiss slipped under, her body going lax with sleep.

Blake shortly followed, and the purr continued even a while after.

The following morning found them tangled together, waking with moans when the bright sunlight hit their eyelids.

The first things Blake heard were Weiss' little grunts and groans, and the purr instantly jumped to life in her chest.

"Morning," she mumbled. "How're you feeling?"

Weiss let out a disgruntled huff.

"Like I got hit by a truck."

"That's not surprising. You drank quite a bit last night."

"Did I? I can't remember a thing."

"I'm pretty sure Yang spiked something of yours."

"Ugh, that oaf... I'll give her a piece of my mind next time..." A pause, then she went on a bit hesitantly. "How bad was I?"

"Mm..." Blake pondered for a moment. "Not too bad. A bit hazardous to your own health at times, but you lived somehow."

"Let me apologize for whatever I might've put you through." With another sigh, Weiss huddled closer and kissed her girlfriend's lips briefly.

"You're forgiven," Blake murmured. "Plus, you were rather adorable last night. Not that you always aren't, but last night in particular."

"Oh, please..." Weiss nuzzled a bit closer for a moment. "Thank goodness it's Sunday. I'm ready to laze about and do nothing all day. But perhaps after I've brushed my teeth." She sat up, preparing to get out of bed.

Blake hummed cheekily up at her.

"Your sugarplum candy-cane will be waiting for you~"

Weiss' face went red instantly.

"I... I didn't-"

"Oh, yes you did."

"Good gracious..."

Blake laughed, pulling her down for another kiss, and promising many more for the remainder of their weekend.

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A/N: I hope you enjoyed this dumb, domestic fluff~ Thanks again to my patrons!