Thread 56: Stories 16-30

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 >AJ
“Colgate”
______

“Princess.”

>Colgate.

“I see you’ve got yourself a new ‘cut there. Fashionable as always.”

>Ah wouldn’t know fashion iffin’ ya covered it in applesauce. This here was a… spur of the moment change.

“Hm. Well. It suits you.”

>…Still a touch upset ‘bout that refusal, eh?

“ALL I WANTED LAST HEARTHS WARMING WAS TO SHARE THE MAGIC OF BETTER DENTAL HYGIENE!”

>Right. By sendin’ out some sorta twisted contraption for the head that tightens when the wearer don’t brush after each meal, or after forty-seven chews.

“That’s called corrective reinforcement! I fail to see the problem!”

>Stick to handin’ out packets of floss and toothpaste, Colgate.

“How about another version, then? What about that, a version 2!”

>How ‘bout no.

“But their teeeeheheheeeth!”

>Lookin’ forward to your monthly report, Colgate. Keep up the good fight.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Spike
"Rekulk"
'Apprentice Trader'

"Spike of scales! Hallo to you!"

>Oh, hey Rekulk, what brings you here?

"We were paying respects for to the wounded One-Eye, esteemed sibling of Zhetri Tuuhl, and his sister, equally esteemed sibling of Zhetri Tuuhl."

>I...uh...did Grehm get shorter?

"Hm? Oh no no, Spike of Scales, he wears the armor but Grehm is still in the home caves, watching over other Morlocks as is his duty."

>Oh, so who's this guy?

'Sebjek. Hallo.'

>Can I call you Seb?

'Yes.'

>...not much of a talker, huh?

"Sebjek is my apprentice, head of metal recognized his ability for to remember anything anyone ever says to him...every teeny tiny not important detail."

'Head of metal says good memory is good for remembering deals, so I learn how to trade.'

>Well, room for one more I guess, how'd visiting 77 go?

"Uhm..."

'Many meeps happened.'

>Wha?

"No time to talk, Spike of Scales! We have business for to attend to, know you where my sister is?"

>Not a clue, you visiting with her too?

"No no, we come to relay news of her request to be made ambassador to the surface world."

>Oh yeah, that's a thing...

'We must not delay, she must hear this.'

"Come Sebjek! To Vekir!"

'Vekir!'

The two run off.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >AJ
"Derpy"
~~~~

"HIYA MISSES AJ!... You look different. Did you do something with your hair?"

>...Actually, yes, that's exactly what Ah' did.

"NEAT! Nice to see you back home too! We missed you down here!"

>...Aw...

"But hey, since you're here, I have a question."

>........Dang. There goes that nice, funny, happy feelin'.

"Well, I'm actually a little hesitant to ask it."

>Good. That is a good feelin' and you should have more of that.

"But, well, I guess since you're here... I don't think you'd tell everyone."

>Element o' Honesty. Ah'm the Element of Honesty. You absolutely should not-

"Can goats talk?"

>....what?

"Goats. Can... can they talk?"

>...

"I know! I know how bad that sounds! But it's so confusing! I saw them with Iron Will, but they never made a sound, even when he talked to them! I asked them some questions and they just stared! But... they're his business partners, right? So they had to have talked at some point! So... can they talk!?"

>...
"..."
>...
"..."
>...AH' DON'T KNOW!

"Really?'

>YES! Ah' was thinkin' the same dang thing! Ah'm so confused by it! But after the Zecora thing, Ah' didn't want ta' come off as racist! Can they talk!? Can't they!? Do they just do all their business in writing!? Where'd they come from!? WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH GOATS!?

"RIGHT!?"

>RIGHT!

"RIGHT!?"

>RIIIIGHT!

"..."
>...
"..."
>....
"....thanks for answering my question, AJ! You're the best!"

>But Ah' didn't-

"HOLY SMOKES!"

>...

".................YOU HAVE A HORN AND WINGS!"

>Leave.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Librarian
"Chitania"
'???'
~~~

>You know, grumbling louder than most ponies talk is not 'being quiet'. Can you at least try an indoor voice?

"And what part of this time together has lead you to believe this isn't my indoor voice?"

>...Point.

"Now, if you don't mind, shut up."

>You realize you're scaring off every other patron, right? I haven't had a book checked out since you arrived, and most of my returns are given to me after this place closes... or hurled at me.

"Your problem, not mine."

>...You're a bit of a jerk, has anyone ever told you that?

"..."

>I'm just saying-OH FUCK!

"You just said to be quiet."

But the mare ignored her, focusing her wide, shocked eyes entirely on the door, from which a very irritated looking guardmare had just walked in.

'Hey, Sweetie? I've been hearing rumors someone down here has been harassing you.'

>Oh no.

'Someone bothering you? I'll kick their ass, totally. Hardly any guards left, not like they're gonna call me on it.'

>No no no...

'Seriously, I'm on my lunch break, just point me in the direction and BAM! I know how to cripple someone and make it look like an accident.'

>Nonononononono-

'Come on! I can totally kick... their...'

For the rest of her life, Chitania would wonder why it took so long for the guard mare to notice her.

Still, that look on her face as she sloooowly tilted her head back was totally worth it.

'...'

"What the fuck are you looking at?"

'...Is there any chance she's actually really nice when you get to know her, and she's not been bothering you at all?'

>...

'...WHELP! Looks like you've got everything under control here! Lunch break is almost over anyway, should probably get back, don't want to be late and all. Have a nice day at work!'

Chitania didn't even see her leave, she just blinked and the guard mare was gone.

"....heh."

>YOU ARE SO SLEEPING ON THE COUCH TONIGHT!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>77
"88"
'??'
~~~

>And THEN came the karaoke!

"... is THIS day three!?"

>No, this is still day two.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS!? Did you somehow fall into a wormhole or something!?"

>It wasn't that bad, there was lots of fun to be had.

"I'm just saying, the game show sounded funny, but-"

*SLAM!*

'Hark! Thine words of our kin spoken were most true! The tales sung of yet another of our kind found living were fact, indeed! Oh, what a joyous day!'

"...Oh sweet hivemind not you."

'...Beg thine pardon?'

"Brother, please tell me that's not Sixty Nine in the room."

'Mine number is Twenty Nine, thank thee!'

"Oh! PHEW! Thank goodness. Sorry, but Sixty Nine really gets on my nerves. That overly posh talking, that hungering for 'royalty' and all those loud, prissy claims of superiority and laziness, and he's dumb as rocks too! UGH! That guy drove me up a wall. Please tell me he wasn't one of the ones who survived the invasion."

'...'

>...Sister, he just changed his number.

"...Oh...."

'...'

"...I don't take it back."

'How hurtful! Blades driven right to my very soul! And to think I brought you cheeses and wine!'

"Did you get more prissy? I swear, you always had a faux 'high class' speak before, but now you went full Neighspearian."

'FAUX!? Mine culture and manners have always be true! Through the darkened uncultured of our kin, it has merely even greater shined through!'

>Sister, really, be nice to him. He's not so bad here recently, you know.

"I find that very hard to believe."

'HOW DARE-... Wait, where is thine third? He was present as he was dragged from the depths, was he not?'

>Thirty Two was returned to his place in the dungeon.

'OH FOR THE LOVE OF!... Didn't know what I was expecting... great, now I have to loop back around...'

"Why? You tick him off too and need to avoid him?"

'You know what!? Mine heart does not have to take this! Enjoy thine treats and things so sweet, for they are the last you shall get from me! HRMPH!'

*SLAM!*

"...I can HEAR the priss in his hoofsteps."

>Yeah, that confuses me too...

"...This stuff does smell really nice. Who'd he rob?"

>He actually has a job now.

"PFFTHAAHAHAHAHAH!"

>...

"...You're serious."

>And friends.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!"

>...

"...Still serious?"

>And he's also the reason I met up with Cheerilee.

"...That's not funny."

>And... you should be careful not to speak of this when her Majesty is around... he's kind of been the only one regularly visiting Thirty Two to give him company and making sure he didn't wither away.

"...That's not funny at all."

>...Feel a little bad?

"I might apologize. Maybe. He's still really annoying."

>He has his good moments.

"That's like, actually Sixty Nine, right? That's not a clone?"

>...Well, he was in a tube in Twilight's lab for the longest time...

"..."

>...Huh.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >AJ
"Applebloom"
~~~

"Hey? Sis? Got another question fer' ya'."

>O' course you do, mah' life wouldn't be complete without ya' askin' questions. This is mah' life now.

"Ah' was jus' wonderin'... why don't we use those float contraptions ta' get around?"

>...Now, see, that don't make no sense at all.

"Ah' just mean, instead o' just pullin' the carts or whatever, why don't we use the thing we used ta' make the float move, ya' know, the one that almost killed Babs, and use it ta' pull our carts instead?"

>Because...

".."

>...It ain't viable.

"Why not?"

>Reasons... math reasons... why don't ya' go ask Twilight? Ah'm sure she'll tell ya' all about it! In way better detail!

"That does sound smart..."

>And then ya' come right back here and tell me what she said.

"Why? Don't you know?"

>Yes.

"..."

>...Bring a notepad....

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"Chrysalis"
'Cadence'
[18]
{42}
~Celestia~
^Mane-Iac^
-2-
~~~~

>Okay, I feel that in light of recent events, it is now appropriate to attempt this once more.

"Really?"

>Yes. I feel, with all the frequent meetings with other dignitaries that is yet to come, that now is a good time to brush up on the basics.

"Really."

>Work with me on this!

'Honey? Just to ask, why-'

>DINNER!

'...I meant why is Mane-Iac here?'

^AHAHAHAHAHH!^

>DINNER! WE ARE EATING DINNER!

'But... she doesn't eat.'

>...Oh, right. Well, it's still nice to have her around, you know? We haven't seen her much here recently, she needs some us time.

^INDEEEEEEED!... I still don't know where you all went for so long!^

[We-HHNNNGGG]

"We were just visiting Canterlot, nothing to worry about."

[H-hoooooofff...]

^BUT BUGISIS, YOU LOOK AS THOUGH YOU HAVE BEEN IN A GREEEEEEAT BATTLE!^

"Haircare gone wrong."

^Oh... That I understand!^

"Figured you would."

'...Really?'

"HNG!"

'She, better than any of us, should understand zo-EEEEE!'

>No hoof crushing under the table!

"Don't know what you mean."

{Majesty, please?}

"Please what, 42?"

{...}

~I missed this.~

>NOW! Our first appetizer is coming up, and I decided to be nice and let them be tiny cakes. As SOME of you know, it's most important to eat cakes with the farthest... Chrysalis?

"Yuh-huh?"

>Did you do this?

"Do what?"

>Don't give me that, did you do this?

"I don't know what you mean."

>...Benefit of the doubt. Honey?

'I'm kind of lost...'

>...Eighteen? A prank, perhaps?

[Don't look at me, I'm just as lost as they are.]

>...Stretching here, 42?

{...}

>...Celestia, I know we used to mess with each other a bunch in the day, but did you really-

~Not me.~

>...Okay, fine, I'll just ask. Who was the one who made the 'special request' for the cakes?

^-WE DID!-^

>....horror overriding all senses.

-What!? Don't'cha like 'em!?-

"Are... are they little..."

'...I'm still lost.'

"Not surprising, but somehow still depressing."

{...}

[Aaaand, 42's just shorted out.]

~Oh my... oh, oh my.~

^AHAHAHAH!... I do not understand.^

-Me either! I thought we were bein' pretty smart! Ya' drew the picture right, right!?-

^INDEEEEEED! There is no image that cannot be depicted by my mane of MAAAADDDEESSSSAHAHAHAHAHAH!... I thought it looked nice!^

-It looks just like the picture!-

^It does!^

>...Two?

-Yeah...?-

>Explain your logic to me.

-Well, whenever I feel mad, I make a little face in a marchmalley and NOMNOMNOMNOM! And it makes me feel all better! So, I thought...-

>Logic understood and processed. Two? Good thought, but right now we don't feel like doing that, and it won't make us feel better. Would you mind telling the chef to make something new? Tell him to give you a special desert, you earned it.

-YAYYYYY!-

*ZOOM!*

>Hey, Mane-Iac?

^YEEEESSSSS, LUMINOUS SHIELD!?^

>Go make sure she doesn't get lost.

^AHAHHAHAHAHAH! PRINCESS INSECTIA WILL NOT ESCAPE MY SIIIIIGGHHHHTT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!... Wait for me!^

>...
"..."
[...]
{...}
~...~

>Okay, so... in the future, we will have to teach Mane-Iac how to draw a mushroom properly.

'Ohhhhh! THAT'S what they were! I was confused why everyone was all weirded out.'

>...

"[~...PFFFFTTHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHH!~]"

'...Wait, now I'm lost again.'

>Just... just leave it, honey.

"[~AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!~]"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >AJ
"Time Turner"
~~~

"Oh my! Princess! What a surprise to see you down here!"

>...

"...Time Turner, remember?"

>...

"...I spun the little hour glass when you competed with Flim and Flam?"

>Oh! Right, sure... kind of lost me there...

"Choosing to ignore that, I just wanted to say how good it is to see you again!"

>Well, thank you! It sure is nice ta'-

"And I had just a tiiiiiny question."

>...Why you gotta give me hope like that? It ain't fair.

"Well, see, it was about that whole business with Flim and Flam, actually... did we really have to run them out of town?"

>What?

"I mean, okay, they made a bad product with their squeezy thing and couldn't match up to good old hard work, but that wasn't, like, illegal, right? We couldn't arrest them for selling a crappy product."

>We didn't?

"I know, I just mean, we reacted REALLY badly there. Shouldn't you have said something?"

>...They tried to swindle my family, this town's oldest and most loyal and helpful group, out of our home. Now, you'll notice Ah' didn't join in that whole yellin' and screamin' thing, but ain't askin' me, specifically, ta' say somethin' is a bit much.

"...Point. Still, feels like we could've just made them do something else."

>Well, they bit off more than they could chew, and it came back to bite them. That's how it works, and iffin' they had apologized you know the town would'a been nice. They didn't, they ran off, rest is history. Got a problem? Go back in time somehow.

"...Can't really do that anymore."

>What?

"Nothing!"

>...Was that it? Ya' just wanted ta' bring up somethin' from, what, over a year ago?

"I guess?"

>Well, did Ah' answer yer' question?

"...Sure, I guess."

>Neat.

"..."

>...See, this is normally when Ah'd be all exasperated and run off, but Ah' feel like this is a high note to go out on.

"Do you want me to just walk away?"

>Would you?

"Uh... sure...."

*Walks off*

>...In the words o' Fluttershy, yay.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"Cadence"
'Chrysalis'
[18]
{42}
~Celestia~
-2-
^Mane-Iac^
(Sombra)
~~

>...Superhero movie, really?

^AHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!^

"You have nobody to blame but yourself."

'Hey! You got a problem with superhero flicks?'

>I live them more often than I should, so yes.'



{She says, ignoring the fact she's never in the middle of it, while I frequently am.}

(And yet, she has a frighteningly similar track record to your own success rate.)

{BITE ME, SMOKEY!}

(Working on that, actually.)

^AHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!^

~Why do you even like this? Isn't this just, your life before you popped out of the comic book... somehow?~

[Did we ever question that?]

'NO!'

[Just checking.]

-Hey, Shiny? This movie's kinda weird. Why isn't Supermare saving anyone?-

>She saved a bunch of ponies at the start.

"Yeah, but then... nothing. She's just kind of wandering around."

[Meh, the evil moon pony got unleashed a bit ago, they're probably just leading up to the reveal...See? Told you. Moon pony come down, and-TAPDANCING MONKEYS!]

"Huh. This film has an awful lot of building destruction in its fight scenes."

{...Doesn't that just mean it's accurate?}

"I guess."

'HAH! DID YOU SEE THAT!?'

~OHHHHHH! PILEDRIVER!~

'HE JUST STRAIGHT UP SLAMMED HER INTO THE GROUND LIKE A PIKE! HAH!'

{...Pfft, I can do better...}

>Should Two be watching this?

"Supermare isn't even getting scratched. It knocks her down, but she doesn't stay down."

(Odd disconnect by all the civilians running in fear, isn't...)

>...So, just to clarify, that whole scene with the pegasus isn't what it looked like, right?

"Yes. And we are sticking to it. That pegasus is fine."

-Oh WHEW! Cause that looked like...=

^AHHHAHAHAHAH!... I don't get it, where is his parachute?^

>He can fly.

^Oh... that makes sense!^

~Is it just me, or are these colors washed out a bit?~

>I think Mane-iac was fiddling with the contrast. Got to be that.

~Yeah, makes sense.~

'...Holy hivemind this movie is long.'

"Right? Just goes on and on and on and- oh, wait, here we go, this has got to be then finale."

-YEAH! YOU GO SUPERMARE! YOU STOP THAT WORLD STOMPER!-

^AHAHAHAHAHAHAH! USE ALLLLLL OF YOUR FLYING MIGHT, AND DEFEAT THE FORCES OF EEEEEVVVILLLLLL!^

"Oh no! Look out for the tentacles!"

'HAH! She's got this!'

[Really? Cause it looks like she's about to get crushed that things megahoof.]

~Oh no she's not!~

>Atta girl! Come on!

-BOOM! BAM! COME ON, PUNCH IT RIGHT BACK UP!-

>She's gonna...
"Almost..."
'Nearly there...'
[So close...]
{Nnngggh...}
~Aaaaannnd....~
(...)

^-YAAAAYYYYYY! WOOO! BOOOM! SHE JUST PUNCHED IT TA' BITS!-^

>Woo! Okay, I'll admit it, that was a pretty good movie. Little overlong and slow in parts, but WOW what a finale. Really felt like the older...

"...Oh, uh... movie's still going. There's still that one moon pony left."

'YES! MORE FIGHTS!'

{Even I think this is going on a bit long.}

~...Oh wow.~

>That is a LOT of collateral damage.

"Is she even trying to avoid the buildings?"

{It's rather hard to do so when fighting an opponent several dozen times better than you in hoof to hoof.}

[Fair enough, but-WHATTHEWHAT!?]

(Good lord, she's just carving thorough those places.)

"...oh! Okay, she's got the moon pony, it's fine everyone, it's fine. She's got her in a headlock, and now she can just take her away and..."

>"'([{^~-.........................................................................-~^}])'"

>...That didn't just happen.

~I... I think it did, actually...~

'HAH! Oh wow, uh, even I think that's a bit much.'

[Ooohh... dear...]

{Realistic, yes?... but still, so much no.}

(That's bringing back some unfortunate memories...)

"Uh, Shiny...."

-...D-d-d-d-did Supermare j-j-just.........-

^....I don't understand......^

>CHRYSALIS! Just once, this ONE TIME! Full reign! MAKE IT NEVER HAPPEN!

'MINDZOTZ!'

*ZAP!*

-...Oh! Hey Shiny, we gonna watch the new Supermare movie?-

^AHAHHAHAH! YEESSS! I AM TOLD IT HAS INSAAAAAAANE BATTLES WITHIN!^

>Nope, unfortunately...

*FWOOSH!*

>Film reel caught fire, sorry!

-...Shiny, why'd ya' just...-

>...

^AHAHAHAHHA! I LIKE TO SET THINGS ON FIRE TOOOOOOOAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!^

*FWOOSH!*

"MANEY NO!"

'Caddy? Let her have this one... just let her have this one...'

^AHAHAHAHAHHHAH!^

~...So, who's feeling a romantic comedy?~

>...

~I will go get another superhero movie.~

>...Romantic comedy it is. Just promise no neck snapping.

~You know what? I think I can manage that.~

"[YAY!]"

'HAH!'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Pommel
"Daw"
'Vekir'

>...

"..."

'...this is part where hallo is said, Vekir thinks.'

>Uh...okay, pardon me but...

"Th' fuck're you supposed to be?"

'AHA! Yes, this IS where hallo is said, hallo! I am Vekir.'

>Yeah, we kind of got that but, what exactly ARE you?

'Vekir is Morlock. Hallo!'

"Morlock."

'Mhm!'

"Th' little cave monsters what got civilized by the space alien."

>He isn't an alien!

'What is alien?'

"He is."

>Is not!

'Who's he?'

>32.

'GASP!'

"Why'd she actually say-"

'YOU ARE KNOWN OF ZHETRI TUUHL?'

"Loud."

>Well yeah, he was, well IS, a friend of mine. My name's Pommel.

'Pommle?'

>...I have the weirdest suspicion you said that wrong, but look, I'm trying to find a Princess.

'Which Princess?'

>Uh...any, any will work, I just need someone with the power to declare a death certificate null and void.

'Then we are of a kind, Pommle, friend of Zhetri Tuuhl! I seek the Twience Princess to help repair my broken armor that protects me from the Sky Demon!'

"...Sky Demon."

'...big yellow thingy.'

"Oh, the sun...what uh...happens if you're not protected?"

'Vekir will melt.'

"Cripes, here!"

The pegasus reaches into a saddle back, pulling out a long cloth that she drapes over the Morlock.

"Alright, stick with us and keep under there 'til we find this Twience Princess of yours, it should be thick enough to keep ya in the shade."

'Hurrah! Many thanks blue funny-talking pony!'

>...isn't that one of Ig's banners?

"You said I couldn't filch his jewels, ya didn't say nothin' about the other stuff."

>Point.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >AJ
"AB"
~~~

>...

"..."

>..

"..."

>...Go on.

"What're rainbows made of?"

>AH' DON'T KNOW!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

~~~~~

She had been waiting for him.

She didn't think it would take this long, not really. That he would just pop up once more and then everything would be back to normal. But he waited, far longer than she had thought.

For a while she wondered if perhaps he had been hurt, or that he had been trapped in some manner, or any number of things. So much could have happened to him.

But then she felt it. The slight tingle on the top of her head, that signal that he was here, somewhere. Perhaps he thought he could hide from her, a quick glance and gone.

Of course, she wouldn't let him.

She was upon his 'secret' hiding place in a second, eyes baring down on him and freezing him in place. She ignored that cold feeling as he shrunk further and further away from her. Embarrassed? Ashamed? Filled with self pity? She didn't know his reasons, not at all. But it didn't matter.

"I..."

His words were quiet, yet she could not deny the power she felt from them. They were simple, yet they said more than just the one letter spoken.

And she, of course... smiled.

"I'm so-"

Not a word more escaped from him, not a single one able able to in the face of what he felt as she grabbed hold of him, and squeezed tightly.

"It's okay... I know."

Two clawed hands hung limp, useless.

"I promised I would fix it this time..."

"You're not always going to be able to fix everything. But what's important is... you tried."

She looked up to him, and smiled.

"For your friends."

At last, he felt a warmth in his heart, and a smile on his lips, and his arms curled around her.

"Thank you, Fluttershy. Next time I'll-"

"Shhh. It's okay... I'm glad you're okay too, Discord."

There was nothing more to be said after that, simply letting the time pass in a friendly embrace before at last splitting, and deciding to have a tea party, just like old times.

And in that crazy world they created, two friends shared their time together once more, and promised to do better the next time...

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC
>32
"Daw"

>So let me get this straight, your quest for vengeance was A) Completely successful and B) Completely justified?

"Jealous?"

>Just a tad.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Screwloose
“12”
‘Highroller’
______

“So… ready to leave this room behind? For good?”

‘Since when did the word ‘room’ become synonymous with ‘cage’?

“Room, cage, whatever- look, it can be synonymous with the inside of my Queen’s chitinous ass for all I care-”

‘Ew much?’

“-point is, this is where it begins. The end.”

>Hmhmhm… making this a tad bit more dramatic than it needs to be, eh, pervert?

She playfully nibbled on the ear of the Changeling whom she was currently riding atop of.

But Twelve remained steadfast, chest puffed and iron-sighted.

This was it. The pinnacle. The conclusion he’d been working them towards for the Hive knows how long.

They were going to trudge to Nurse Redhearts office, sign those release papers and be on their way to…

To…

Well, that part didn’t matter.

‘You gonna glare the door down or actually walk through it? Kinda on a timer here, Twelve.’

“Yeah, let’s-”

>Wait….

Glancing over her shoulder, Screwloose locked eyes with something the other two couldn’t see.

>And you… aren’t you coming, too? If we make it out of here alive, this might be our last day together….

-Heh, ya kiddin’? Celestia herself couldn’t stop me from fin’ly bein’ able to pass your insane ass on so I can get some rest. Go, I’m right behind ya.-

Even High Roller quirked an eyebrow at that rarely seen, sincere smile that overcame Screwloose.

>Good.

‘Yo, bird, who in the hell are you talking to?’

“Don’t ask, just… don’t. It’s a headache in the making.”

>Just because you’re incapable of seeing the only other being more insane than me doesn’t mean you can be rude, pervert. That’s no way to get some private time with my hooves.

‘…’

“…”

‘And he actually goes quiet, folks.’

“Let’s go already!”

>Pft, cute.

What was normally a sixty feet walk down the hall felt tripled to Twelve as he and Highroller trotted towards the elevator.

Oddly, if he listened hard enough he could swear there was a third set of nearly ethereal hoofsteps mingling with their’s… but then he just shook his head.

Focus.

Screwloose was mentally unstable so having imaginary friends was par the course. All the more reason to get her out of this hospital, let her breathe some fresh air, get some space.

The elevator doors opened with a rattling scrape and they loaded into it.

‘I’ll give Redheart this. Making the elevator so it only goes to the ground floor, instead of up to her office, was self-preservation thinking at its finest.’

>She’s racist, not stupid.

‘Racist, what?’

>Oh, I didn’t tell you? How she almost didn’t let pervert here come back because she doesn’t like Changelings? Well, it went like this….

As Screwloose made herself more comfortable on Twelve’s back, he withheld a grunt. That mare was by no means light and it was tough remaining firm-legged as the elevator made it’s unfaustly slow climb back up to the world.

Yet another failsafe: slow travel.

-She knows you’re sneakin’ sniffs at her mane, fella.-

The sudden voice in his ear almost made Twelve scream, and he glanced about but saw no one to match that gruff, slightly bemused tone.

He did, however, notice with an embarrassed twinge that Screwloose was grinning all too knowingly as she told her tale.

When at last the elevator came to a rocky stop at the first floor, Twelve placed himself right at the door with a determined posture.

‘Eh, Twelve, would you calm down? We’re in a hospital, not a warzone. From here to Redheart’s office is going to be a piece of-’

The door rattled open and a knife zipped between the crack in a glint of silver, nearly beating the sliver of sunlight that managed to shine through, signifying that, yes, they were finally above ground.

Twelve barely flinched as the pointed cutlery soared past his cheek, scrapping the tough chitinous skin there instead of slicing.

‘-cake. …Huh.’

>Well, can’t get a warmer welcome than that, I suppose. Told you I made a few enemies on the way down, didn’t I? I told you that, right? Thought I had.

‘Okay, well, how much is a few? Because I’m seeing a lot of angry, pissed off faces out there. Along with a lot of blunt objects.’

>Weeeeell….

‘Damn it, Screws.’

-Gird your loins there, fella.-

Once again, Twelve ignored the disembodied voice, taking it as a sign of his fading sanity, and tensed his body for the coming brawl.

“Just another day on the job….”

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Luna
“56”
~~~

>We… we feel silly….

“What? Silly? Why’s that, Moons? Ya look downright cute as a button!”

>That is the main reason… we are the night, we are meant to be of regal stature and refined elegance, but this… this makes us seem….

The Lunar Princess stole another peek at herself in the mirror of her room, once more blushing at the sight of her hair pulled back into ponytail.

>Meep….

“OH MY PLOT ABOVE THAT NOISE JUST THEN WAS CUTE DO IT AGAIN!”

>N-never! Leave us be!

“…Still cute.”

>We are not cute! We are fearsome!

“Yeah, fearsomely cute.”

>NNGH! …f-fine, we will wear our mane as such for one day. One day and not a second further, doth thou hear us?

“That’s all I’m askin’! Now, uh… about the tail wrap… we feelin’ the tail wrap…?”

>Doth thou mean the piece of ribbon that entwines around the base of our tail?

“Yes’m.”

>The same ribbon that, once fixated, will bring even more attention to our backside?

“That’d be the one, yeah.”

>…We really scared thee during that infection outbreak, didn’t we?

“More than I’ve ever been scared in my life, Moons. Even if I had my cuz’s vocabulary, I couldn’t begin to describe how I felt….”

>…

“I mean, I could try, if ya wanted, but I’d just sound stupid….”

>Thou couldst never sound stupid to us.

“Come again, Moons?”

>We said do not think we haven’t noticed thou hast been tying our tail with that ribbon.

“…”

>We didn’t say stop.

“YOU’RE THE BEST MOONS!”

>…J-just… just for today.

“Okay, okay, wait right here, I have to go get Shiny’s camera! Don't move!”

When the little Changeling raced from the room, Luna gave her rump an experimental little jiggle, sighing acceptingly as the ribbon bounced in tune.

>Note to self: delete any pictures taken before returning camera to Shining Armor.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________