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Jul 31st, 2017
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  1. Taoism: Shit happens
  2. Confucionism: Confucius says: "Shit happens"
  3. Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit
  4. Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
  5. Hinduism: This shit has happened before
  6. Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah
  7. Protestantism:Let the shit happen to someone else
  8. Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it
  9. Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?
  10. Sufism: The wise man never notices shit happening
  11. Christian Science: If shit happens, pretend it doesn't really exist
  12. Solipsism: Shit happens because I wish it
  13. Mysticism:Just experience shit happening
  14. Asceticism: If shit happens, renounce it
  15. Agnosticism: Nobody knows why shit happens
  16. Gnosticism: I know why shit happens but won't tell you
  17. Atheism: Shit just happens and that's all there is to it
  18. Cartesianism: Shit happens to me, therefore I exist
  19. Platonism: There is ideal shit happening somewhere
  20. Stoicism: I don't care if shit happens
  21. Epicureanism: Let's party while shit doesn't happen
  22. Cynicism: Of course shit happens
  23. Occultism: Shit materializes from other planes of existence
  24. Terrorism: Shit will happen unless you do as I say
  25. Pollyanism: It's sonice that shit happens!
  26. Puritanism: Shit can happen all day as long as you don't call it that
  27. Behaviorism: You are conditioned to having shit happen
  28. Freudianism: If shit happens, it's your mother's fault
  29. Parapsychology: Shit happens without material causes
  30. Surrealism: Purple shit happens near melting clocks
  31. Cubism: If shit happens, you won't recognize it
  32. Cultural relativism: Shit happens everywhere differently
  33. Optimism: If shit happens, we'll find a way to use it
  34. Pessimism: If shit happens, there won't be enough for everybody
  35. Tabloid Sensationalism: Green shit from Mars happens to Elvis clone
  36. Biblical Creationism: Shit happens because God created it
  37. Secular Humanism: Shit happens because it evolved from primitive shit
  38. Scientific Reductionism: If shit happens, find out what kind exactly
  39. Scientific Obscurantism: Amorphous excrement does occur in given cases
  40. Bureaucracy: I don't care if shit happens as long as you fill out the forms
  41. Feminism: Women demand to have shit happen
  42. Ecology: If organic shit happens, it's OK
  43. Capitalism: Let's profit from shit happening
  44. Socialism: If shit happens, let's distribute it equally
  45. Patriotism: Our shit is better than your shit
  46. Conservatism: They don't make even shit happen like they used to
  47. Liberalism: Shit shouldn't happen tomorrow
  48. Classical Physics: Shit does not 'happen', it just moves around
  49. Quantum Physics #1: Shit happens but you can't say both where and when
  50. Quantum Physics #2: Shit happens in discrete quanta called shitons
  51. Holistic Physics: If shit happens, it happens everywhere at once
  52. Microcomputing: If shit happens, we'll fix it in the next version
  53. Applied Mathematics: The probabity of shit happening approaches unity
  54. Engineering: When shit happens, paint over
  55. Medicine: If shit happens, take two Aspirins and call me in the morning
  56. Economics: Shit happens because there's a geat demand for it
  57. Politics: If shit happens, make a deal with it
  58. Diplomacy: Let's pretend shit doesn't happen
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